klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2012
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Greetings and welcome to the dumbest idea WWE has had in YEARS. That's right, it's a three hour show on CHRISTMAS FREAKING EVE. You know, the night when the target audience goes to bed early to make sure they're up early the next morning. I'm REALLY not looking forward to this and odds are it's going to suck because they don't want to waste good ideas. Let's get to it.
We open with the roster singing a WWE themed Christmas carol which to be fair is pretty funny stuff.
Here's Santa Claus to be guest host tonight. He's handing out presents....and gets run over by Alberto's car. In something I never thought I'd have to say, Santa does a stretcher job. He gives a thumb up as we take a break. This was so campy that it was hilarious.
Back with Booker telling everyone to get through the night because that's what Santa would want. Everyone yells at Del Rio when Cena comes in to really rub it in. Alberto says it wasn't his fault, so Booker makes Cena vs. Del Rio in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight. Cena: “I'LL DO IT FOR SANTA!”
Cody Rhodes vs. Kane
Kane throws him around to start but Cody comes back with a dropkick to the knee. Rhodes is sent to the floor but manages to send Kane's arm into the post from the outside. Not bad. Back in and a middle rope dropkick gets one on Kane. Cole: “Kane is in his Christmas gear in red here.” Cody works over the arm as the match slows down a lot. A side slam puts Cody back down and there's the clothesline from the top. Rhodes goes after the arm to block the chokeslam and hits the Disaster Kick to the shoulder. That means absolutely nothing as the chokeslam pins Cody at 5:53.
Rosa Mendes/Tamina Snuka/Aksana/Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox/Natalya/Kaitlyn/Layla
Natalya and Aksana start things off as this is your usual excuse to have eight chicks in sexy Christmas outfits. Aksana gets beaten up so it's off to Alicia who is thrown around by the hair. Off to Layla who I'm digging as a blonde. Rosa distracts Layla so Tamina can get in a shot so the match can drag on even longer. Layla finally comes back with a dropkick and it's off to Kaitlyn to clean house. A shoulder gets two on Eve and everything breaks down. We get the parade of finishers (Aksana's is a spinebuster) and Kaitlyn pins Eve at 5:27 after a gutbuster.
AJ and Dolph cuddle up and watch TLC.
We recap Santa's injuries.
Here are some lumberjacks for the next match.
Big Show vs. Sheamus
Lumberjack match as I said. They shove each other around to start until Sheamus grabs a headlock. This is non-title as well. Show shoves him around a bit but gets guillotined on the top rope, allowing Sheamus to hit the ten forearms and the shoulder off the top. The Brogue Kick is loaded up but Show hits the floor and we hit a break.
Back with Show running over Sheamus before cranking on Sheamus' arm. He even sings a Christmas song as he cranks. Sheamus grabs Show's nose to escape but a slam attempt doesn't work. We head to the floor where the lumberjacks work over Sheamus as they're required to do. Back in and Sheamus is suplexed down for no cover, allowing Tensai to get in a cheap shot on Sheamus.
Show goes for some punches in the corner but Sheamus comes out of it with an electric chair drop. Cool visual there. Sheamus pounds away but gets caught in a chokeslam for two. Show's standing legdrop gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. We hit a LONG bearhug until Sheamus punches his way out of it. Sheamus pounds away in the corner but gets caught by a clothesline for two.
A big old elbow gets two more for Show so he loads up the Vader Bomb. Naturally it misses so there's White Noise for two. A Brogue Kick is blocked and the pale one is sent to the floor, triggering another brawl. Back in and Show misses the WMD, allowing Sheamus to hit a GREAT Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:00.
Sheamus and the good lumberjacks clear the ring.
We get the Miz segment with the Muppets from Tribute to the Troops.
Here's Otunga to explain why Santa was at fault earlier. Cue Ryder to say how stupid this is and squash Otunga.
Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga
Ryder starts fast and gets two off some clotheslines. Otunga takes it into the corner and pounds away a bit before getting two off a posing neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock which goes nowhere, so Otunga goes back to the clotheslines. Back to the chinlock as we have another match that is going on longer than it has any right to do. Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff like the middle rope dropkick and the Broski Boot. After the first one is blocked, the Rough Ryder gets the pin at 4:53.
Booker and Teddy are in the back when Brad Maddox comes in. The usual results follow and his opponent will be an elf.
Kofi Kingston/The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro/Wade Barrett
Miz and Cesaro start things off with Antonio shoving him around with ease. Now Miz frustrates Cesaro before hitting a flapjack for two. Barrett comes in and pounds away a bit before getting dropkicked down for two. Off to Kofi to work on the English dude's arm. Wade bails from Trouble in Paradise and here's Cesaro again. A kind of spinebuster puts Kofi down and the heels take over again.
Barrett comes back in for a surfboard hold, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. There's the gutwrench suplexe from Cesaro and we hit a fast chinlock. Kofi kicks him away and there's the not very hot tag to Miz. He cleans house on Barrett before hitting the top rope ax handle for no cover. The Finale is broken up by Cesaro but Miz kicks Wade into the ropes. Kofi kicks Wade in the head, allowing Miz to hit the Finale for the pin at 5:56. Barrett got pinned if that wasn't clear.
Santa is still hurt.
AJ gives Ziggler his MITB case and takes off her robe to reveal a Ziggler shirt and her tiny shorts. Kissing ensues.
Brad Maddox vs. Great Khali
Maddox tells Khali that he (Khali) isn't an elf. Maddox gets the chest chops that he deserves and is sent to the floor where Horny works him over a bit. Brad goes after the knee and takes Khali down, working on the knee in the process. A chop puts Maddox down but he poses from one knee. Brad goes to the middle rope, gets chopped, clotheslined and hit with a Punjabi Plunge for the pin at 3:12 Screw rating this. It was a squash and that's it.
Khali and Horny sing and dance.
Here are Punk and Heyman to make fun of Christmas carols and Pittsburgh. Punk makes fun of the Steelers by saying he's a Cubs fan. Girl in the audience: “WHO ARE THE CUBS?” Idiot. Punk says Ryback has ruined Christmas and Hanukah, but has Ryback been punished? Of course not. Instead, he gets a title shot on the first Raw of the new year. Maybe Ryback should get a shot if there was ANY proof that Punk was working with Maddox or the Shield, but there's no proof of that at all.
Punk complains about being in rehab and physical therapy over the holidays, unlike the Pittsburgh fans who are out bar hopping. Heyman talks about how Punk has been the victim of a conspiracy over the last 400 days. Ryback has failed in both of his title shots but he's getting a third. Cue Ryback, who announces that the match on the seventh is a TLC match. He starts a TLC match and that's that.
Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow
It's a battle of the classical music. Bryan shouts NO at Sandow when Sandow asks for silence. Bryan tries a fast NO Lock but Damien heads to the floor where Bryan hits the knee off the apron. Back in and there's a running dropkick in the corner for one for Daniel. There's the moonsault out of the corner by Bryan and it's time for the kicks to the chest. A big kick misses though and Sandow rolls him up for tow.
Bryan is sent to the apron and into the buckle, knocking him to the outside. A few shots into the apron get two for Damien and we hit the chinlock. Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow for two. He loads up a superplex but gets knocked down, but Bryan misses the swan dive. Not that it matters as there's the NO Lock for the tap out at 5:38.
Prime Time Players/Tensai/3MB vs. Brodus Clay/Santino Marella/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd/Usos
Take 12 guys, throw them into a tag match I guess. Brodus and Young start and Darren has his arm worked on. Off to Tyson who continues the idea before hitting some dropkicks. Off to Tensai who suplexes Gabriel, only to get kicked in the face. Hot tag brings in Santino who gets taken down by Mahal. Off to Jey vs. O'Neal as we try to get everyone into the match.
Titus throws him around but gets sent into the corner, allowing for double tags to Jimmy and Slater. A Bubba Bomb puts Heath down and there's the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Brodus runs over everyone. Finishers are hit everywhere until everyone hits a big move on Slater. Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash on him for the pin at 6:13.
HELL NO exchanges presents. Bryan gets a Slammy and Kane gets a puppy. Kane: “Thanks! I'm starving!” Bryan loses it and takes the puppy back.
AJ and Dolph read the Night Before Christmas, with AJ enjoying beating up Cena far too much. That's a running theme tonight. The make out under some mistletoe and knock over the Christmas tree.
Santa is still unconscious but his heart monitor starts playing Jingle Bells. His feet start knocking together, and the fans ERUPT. You can't beat the classics.
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena
Street fight here. Cena pounds away in the corner to start and we quickly head to the floor. Del Rio whips him into the steps and goes after the arm. Isn't Del Rio supposed to be a face? Back in and Alberto gets a mic, saying that what happened to Santa was an accident. Del Rio hits Cena with the mic, but Cena blocks another try and shouts SAAAAAAAAANTA before pounding away on Del Rio.
John heads to the floor to open a present, finding a chair. A few shots to Del Rio's back get two as Ricardo pulls the referee to the floor. After a chase, Del Rio catches Cena coming in with a clothesline. Ricardo hands Del rio a present, and it's a pie. You know whose head that is going upside. I hope Ricardo knows a good cleaner. They head up the ramp and Cena opens another package, finding a television monitor. Del Rio is knocked loopy as we take a break.
Back with Del Rio in trouble and opening another package. Inside this one.....is a teddy bear. Del Rio throws the bear at John, giving Cena the line of the night: Cena: “A BEAR? SERIOUSLY???” Ricardo gets wrapped up in a wreath and has a box broken over his head. Cena knocks Del Rio down and goes to look for another weapon. Fans: “USE THE TREE! USE THE TREE! USE THE TREE!” Del Rio gets crushed with the tree and Cena opens another box, finding a bowling ball. He rolls it down the ramp, hitting a perfectly placed Del Rio. Cena is a good shot actually.
John pulls out a fire extinguisher and sprays Del Rio down to make it a white Christmas. Cole and Jerry are probably reaching a record for the most Christmas puns in one night. Ricardo jumps on Cena's back and actually chokes him down.....BUT SANTA IS BACK! He whacks Ricardo over the head with his bag of toys and puts an oven mit on his hand. That acts as a sock in this case for a mandible claw, which sets up the AA for the pin at 14:53.
Cena and presumably Mick Claus hug to end the show. Cena is worried about the time because Santa has work to do.
Results
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn/Alicia Fox/Natalya/Layla b. Rosa Mendes/Aksana/Eve Torres/Tamina Snuka – Gutbuster to Eve
Sheamus b. Big Show – Brogue Kick
Zack Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder
The Miz/Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett/Antonio Cesaro – Skull Crushing Finale to Barrett
Great Khali b. Brad Maddox – Punjabi Plunge
Usos/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/Brodus Clay/Santino Marella b. 3MB/Tensai/Prime Time Players – Superfly Splash to Slater
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment
Tuesday
Merry Christmas.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 26, 2012
Host: Tony Dawson
Back to Florida and we've got a new challenger for Rollins in the form of Corey Graves. That's by far the biggest thing that happened last week as the main event was Big Show squashing Bo Dallas for no apparent reason. The shows have been solid lately and hopefully they close out 2012 with another good one. Let's get to it.
Welcome Home.....to a year in review show. Apparently this is going to be highlights from the season, so I'll be cutting and pasting a lot here. Note that the full matches likely won't be shown but I'll be posting the full review from the match.
From August 29:
NXT Championship: Jinder Mahal vs. Seth Rollins
They have a ton of time for this. Fink may be fat and older now (he's only 62 so he's hardly ancient), but that voice is still perfect. Mahal won't shake Dusty's hand before the match. Rollins tries to take him to the mat to start but Mahal gets back up quickly. A dropkick puts Mahal down again and Rollins hits a hard chop. Mahal gets sent to the floor but he avoids a dive and sends Rollins face first into the apron. A suplex onto the ramp has Rollins in trouble and we head back in.
We take a break and come back with Rollins in even more trouble. Mahal stomps him down and hits a backbreaker to start setting up the camel clutch. Rollins gets choked against the ropes and the fans are behind Rollins now. He tries a comeback but gets kneed in the face by Mahal to take him back down. The camel clutch is escaped so Mahal pounds him in the back again. An enziguri out of nowhere puts Mahal down and Rollins punches Jinder down.
Mahal goes up for another knee but Rollins knocks him off the top and out to the floor. Rollins hits a HUGE dive to the floor and both guys are down. Back in and Seth goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed from the top. We take another break and come back with the two of them slugging it out. Mahal might have a bad knee but he pulls off a sitout slam for two. A full nelson slam is countered and Rollins goes to the apron.
Seth hits an enziguri to the head and a running knee for two. The near falls are getting closer and closer here. A running forearm in the corner staggers Mahal but he manages to drop Rollins face first into the buckle. The low superkick (I think he calls it Avada Kadavra, making Rollins awesome) gets two. Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) misses and Mahal hits the full nelson slam for two. Rollins gets to the rope before the clutch can go on and Rollins rolls him up for two. Rollins comes back with the buckle bomb and the Blackout out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 14:24 shown of 21:24.
We get some clips of the rematch. This segues into clips from Raw of the Shield.
We get some highlights of various stars from NXT, such as Richie Steamboat, Bo Dallas, CJ Parker, Audrey Marie, Big E. Langston and Bray Wyatt (gets by far the most time).
From July 11:
Aiden English vs. Bray Wyatt
Wyatt talks on the way to the ring, calling himself the angel in the dirt and singing Time is on My Side by the Rolling Stones. Wyatt pounds him down and sends English to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and Wyatt rolls around on the apron before splashing English in the corner. Wyatt dances with English a bit (literally) before hitting a rolling Downward Spiral for the pin at 1:48. Awesome debut here and a good transition from promos to in ring work which was what I was worried about from Wyatt.
Bray Wyatt talks about how it's a new year for your loved ones to betray you in his name.
We get an exclusive match tonight between Kane and Rhodes.
Video on Kassius Ohno. I still don't care. He talks about inflicting pain on people and we get a recap of his attacks on various people with Regal making the save.
Ohno says a new year is coming and that the year of 13 will be a year for pain.
Punk talks about telling Rollins to beat respect out of people and somehow that evolved into the Shield. The future is here in NXT and he hopes people are taking notice.
Video on Langston and the FIVE count.
From November 28:
Camacho vs. Big E. Langston
This is a match for the $5000 bounty that Vickie has put on Langston's head. Camacho tries to pound on him but Langston keeps shoving him away. A shot out of the corner puts Big E. down but Camacho slaps him like an idiot. The Big Ending (falling slam) ends Camacho at 2:06.
Langston demands the five count and you don't tell a man like that no. Camacho gets two more Big Endings for good measure.
We get a clip of Langston debuting on Raw. Ok, now the question is are they going to reference this on NXT starting next week? They're making it clear what's going on in the main world, so they can't (and by can't I mean will but shouldn't) ignore it from now on.
Langston says he attacked Cena because he was helping his friend. His business here on NXT is to become NXT Champion. His New Year's Resolution is to do just that. Unfortunately his manic style is gone now and he sounds all serious.
Video on various people in NXT that we haven't covered yet, including Kruger and Paige.
It's Rollins defending against Graves next week.
We get a clip from Main Event of Kane injuring Cody's shoulder.
Kane vs. Cody Rhodes
This is from July but it's never before seen. Cody immediately bails to the floor and stalls. Back in and Cody pounds away in the corner, only to be pounded right back down. Kane hits the low dropkick for two and Cody heads to the floor. Rhodes gets beaten up on the stage and aisle before we head back to the ring. Kane misses the clothesline and Cody escapes the chokeslam before sending Kane into the corner.
Cody goes after the knee as we get into a more standard match here. We take a break (complete with a John Cena loves NXT promo) and come back with the announcers talking about a HUGE leap from Cody. We don't get to see it of course, but here's a sidewalk slam from Kane for two instead. The top rope clothesline hits but Cody grabs the rope to avoid a chokeslam. There's the Disaster Kick for two but Cross Rhodes is countered into a chokeslam for the pin at 7:00 shown.
Todd is talking about the upcoming year when Shield cuts into the feed. Rollins talks about being NXT Champion for months but never getting the call from WWE. Ambrose talks about how the WWE is ill and suffering from lies and corruption. The real world has enough injustice in it already and that's not how WWE is supposed to be. Rollins understands why Corey Graves did what he did but next time, Graves is leaving on a stretcher. Ambrose says they're the best. Reigns gets in a great line of “NXT is our house and while we may come and go as we please, we'll always collect the rent.” The Shield is here next week.
Results
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Thursday
Raw got a 2.2, the lowest rating in 15 years. You know, on Christmas Eve. Why is this surprising people?
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 27, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz
Hey it's Open Fight Night, BECAUSE WE JUST HAD A FREAKING GIMMICK SHOW LAST WEEK! Pay no attention to the fact that these shows never accomplish anything and the ratings keep going down, because clearly these stupid gimmicks are the only thing holding them up as high as they go. The show will likely be fine but man alive I don't care about this Open Fight thing. Let's get to it.
After the usual opening recap, here's Bully Ray with something to say. He realizes he and Hogan can't get along because Hogan won't trust him. Tonight, he's calling Hulk out for a talk rather than a fight. The music plays but there's no Hulk. Instead we get Brooke who says Hulk isn't here. We get the melodramatic promo from Brooke about how someone had a camera or something because Hulk knows. DOES NO ONE WATCH THEIR OWN TV SHOWS ANYMORE??? Ray denies anything exists and leaves with Brooke trying to talk sense into him.
Here's Aries who doesn't care what the fans think of him. He'll win the title back soon but tonight, he's going to be in the main event against Roode for costing him the title last week.
Samoa Joe calls out the hammer guy from Aces and 8's and promises to take his mask.
Samoa Joe vs. Masked Man
Joe pounds away to start but gets beaten down in the corner. The masked guy (I believe Mike Knox) hits the running crotch attack in 619 position but misses a charge in the corner. Joe tries the MuscleBuster but gets kicked away. There's the Clutch instead and the masked guy is out at 2:56.
Joe goes for the mask but the rest of the bikers come in for the save. Of course they do.
Robbie E and Jesse have a Dude/Bro off. I'm strangely intrigued by this. The challenge is for a Bro Off later rather than a match of course.
Kenny King tells Christian York to watch tonight and maybe he'll get an X Title match.
It's time for the Bro Off, which has three rules: every bro for himself, you have to end everything in bro....and the third rule isn't listed. Apparently this is a dance off. Scratch that as Robbie dances and Jesse poses. Jesse presses Tara over his head but apparently it's Bros and not Hoes, so Robbie wins by DQ. Robbie T says that's not it because he's in this too. He poses as well before pressing Robbie E over his head. T also fist pumps, backflips, does one handed pushups and humps the mat. The look on E and Jesse's faces are HILARIOUS. T wins apparently.
Van Dam, looking higher than I've ever seen him, calls out Christian York instead of Kenny King.
Christian York vs. Rob Van Dam
Feeling out process to start with both guys missing some strikes. York hits a half nelson suplex to take over and a kick to Van Dam's back to follow up. A rana sends Van Dam to the outside and a missile dropkick back inside for no cover. The Mood Swing (Eve's rolling neckbreaker) gets two as does a kick out of the corner from York. York hits a top rope double stomp to the back for two but misses a charge in the corner. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault for two and Rolling Thunder for no cover. Five Star gets the pin at 4:03.
D-Von talks about getting someone new to join the club. Doc is with some girls and approves of the plan.
We get a package on Joseph Park in OVW. Park: “I'm setting the bar for training.” Danny Davis: “He's dumber than a box of rocks.” We get the clip of Park morphing into Abyss which was the potential that Davis was looking for.
Bad Influence goes to make sure they don't have any merchandise on sale. They have a post-Christmas present for everyone.
Remember to vote for Superstar of the Year.
Roode says he's winning tonight and getting the title back at Genesis.
Sting is still going to be back on 1-3-13.
Daniels dances out to the ring and says greetings and salutations to all you ham sandwiches. He's the reason AJ hasn't been around anymore so why not do it one more time? He calls out AJ and naturally it's Kaz in the AJ gear. Kaz cuts a promo in a GREAT AJ impersonation and says how great Daniels is. Kaz: “I'm not going to wrestle you. I'm going to go find Clair Lynch and....” Daniels: “NO! NOBODY WANTS THAT!”
The tag champions come out and challenge Bad Influence for right now.
Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence
Fast paced start with Daniels getting thrown around by Chavo. Off to Hernandez for a bearhug into a belly to belly overhead suplex. The champions pound away on Daniels before slamming Kaz onto Daniels for no cover. Daniels begs away from Hernandez and we take a break. Back with Hernandez doing his delayed vertical suplex on Daniels. I'm not sure if any time has actually passed since we left. Things break down and Daniels takes over on SuperMex.
The non-champions hit back to back slingshot strikes on Hernandez to take over. The match drags on and gets very boring in a hurry with the heels in control. After about 8 hours, the lukewarm tag brings in Chavo who hits Three Amigos on Kaz. Bad Influence hits a Hart Attack for two but Hernandez sends them to the floor. The champs hit a double dive to the floor before throwing Kaz back in for the Frog Splash and the pin at 14:30.
Hardy has little to say.
Video on Aces and 8's attacking people with the hammer.
We see the guy that Aces and 8's wants to join....and it's Mr. Anderson. He's offered women to help them out and apparently they're good enough to sway him into considering it.
Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher
You know, for those people who wanted this feud to be picked up again. Tessmacher takes over to start and does the Stinkface thing in the corner. Gail gets knocked to the floor but takes over back inside. Kim loads up a super rana but Tessmacher blocks it, sending Gail down onto her head. FREAKING OW MAN! A dragon sleeper in the corner doesn't do much for Tessmacher so Gail takes over again. The sloppiness continues but Tessmacher can't hit that Tesshocker thing of hers. A top rope elbow misses Gail and Eat Defeat ends this at 5:24.
Next week it's Aces and 8's vs. Angle/Joe in a cage. Sure why not.
Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries
Feeling out process to start until Aries sends Roode to the floor. He loads up the suicide dive but stops cold when Roode is waiting on him. We take a break (complete with a Hardy voiceover) and come back to see them hammering on each other before Aries is sat on top. They ring each others' ears and trade pokes to the eyes. Aries knocks Roode down and tries what looks like an elbow, only to roll through when Roode moves.
Bobby loads up a spear but gets caught in the Last Chancery. Roode pokes the eyes to escape and puts on the Crossface which I guess is his secondary finisher. Aries goes to the eyes as well to escape, showing some nice storytelling here. Roode begs off in the corner but trips Aries up for two with his feet on the ropes.
Aries tries a rollup with trunks for two of his own but walks into the spinebuster for two. Hebner disarms Roode of the chair he picked up, allowing Aries to hit a discus elbow for two. Now Austin brings in the chair but Henber will still have none of it. Hebner goes off on both guys so they both deck him and toss him to the floor, throwing the match out at about 13:00.
Post match they both go for the chair but Hardy runs out and takes both guys out to end the show.
Results
Samoa Joe b. Masked Man – Koquina Clutch
Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Kazarian
Gail Kim b. Miss Tessmacher – Eat Defeat
Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest
Friday
Smackdown
Date: December 28, 2012
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
We close out the year here with a taped Smackdown, which is the norm around here. Odds are this isn't going to have anything of note on it because we're in that odd period between TKC and the Rumble. Also after Monday it looks like we're going to have more Sheamus vs. Big Show, because they've only had three straight PPV matches. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the latest stuff with Big Show vs. Sheamus, complete with the voiceover. The AJ/Langston/Cena stuff is thrown in also.
Here's Sheamus to open things up. He hopes we all had a Merry Christmas because he had a great one. He drank gallons of egg nog flavored ale, got a bunch of sweaters he'll never use, and a bunch of sunscreen from his mom. Are we going for ironic humor now? Anyway, his New Year's resolution is to win the title back, so get out here Big Show.
Here's the champ who wants to know if he looks like Santa Claus. The fans and Sheamus say yes, but Show is fatter. Show makes fun of Sheamus' bad humor and says no more title shots. He says the victory on Monday meant nothing because Show wasn't really trying. Show was in Christmas mode and it wasn't even for the title. Sheamus calls him a coward and says Show's pride was on the line on Monday and says he's here for the title. If he can't get that though, he'll have to settle for a fight.
Cue Booker before things get physical of course because that's not how we roll on Smackdown. So much for what Bradshaw says I guess. Booker agrees with Show and says that Sheamus lost at TLC. He did however win on Raw but Show doesn't want to hear this. Show says no one in the locker room is worthy of a shot at him because it reeks of inferiority. Booker says Show is in action tonight and there's going to be a drawing to determine Show's opponent.
The drawing is right now as I guess the entire roster was waiting in line behind the curtain. Teddy and Eve argue over who gets to spin the tumbler because that story is still going for some reason. The tumbler is knocked over to fill in more time. Santino wins the match which I don't think is for the title. They have a brief staredown which results in non-comdy. Apparently it is for the title.
Primo vs. Brodus Clay
Well if nothing else the girls give us something to look at before the match. Epico offers a quick distraction which gives Primo his only offense. Clay catches a cross body in a powerslam before headbutting Primo down. Splash and we're done at 1:13.
The Funkadactyls beat up Rosa post match for no apparent reason. Dancing ensues.
Santino is having a sandwich in the back with Sheamus but the pale one throws said sandwich away. Sheamus is offering him some advice and Santino asks to learn the Brogue Kick. Marella can't get his foot above his waist so Sheamus fires him up. Santino tries it again....and pulls his hamstring, sending him to the floor in screaming pain.
HELL NO/Kofi Kingston vs. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett
This would be the Christmas gift for those of you interested in stuff WAY past its expiration date. Cody and Bryan start things off with Rhodes actually taking him to the mat. Off to Kane instead who isn't as easy to take down. Kane misses a charge into the corner and it's off to Sandow instead. There's a side slam to Damien for two and it's Kofi in off the tag. Not much to see so far. Cody comes back in for about three seconds before it's off to Barrett.
Kingston hits his jumping back elbow and puts on a front facelock. Everyone gets in for a standoff and we take a break. Back with the Scholars pounding on Bryan. There's the Wind-Up Elbow followed by some knees to the face and the big boot in the ropes from Barrett. We hit a camel clutch for a bit before Cody comes in to a LOUD Cody Sucks chant. Bryan escapes a chinlock and drills Rhodes to bring in Kofi. Everything breaks down and everyone hits a mid level signature move. Trouble in Paradise takes out Cody but Kofi walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 7:05 shown of 10:05.
Santino is injured and can't fight tonight, so we draw another name for Show's match. The name will be announced later apparently, and by later they mean after a break. It's Ricardo Rodriguez. Show is very pleased and makes fun of Ricardo by putting the title on his shoulder. He makes Ricardo do the announcement that he (Ricardo) has won the title, but Show knocks him cold instead. Booker promises that Show is in trouble.
Zack Ryder vs. Antonio Cesaro
Non-title again. Cesaro shoves him into the corner to start and suplexes him down for two. We hit a quick chinlock as the fans chant USA. Cesaro cranks on the arm and hits the gutwrench suplex for two. A big double stomp gets another two and we hit a body vice. Ryder fights up and hits a missile dropkick but the Broski Boot misses. The European Uppercut and the Neutralizer end this at 3:28.
We recap the MizTV segment from Raw.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
I'm not usually one to notice fake pops, but there is no way Miz is getting that kind of a reaction. During the entrances, we see MORE from MizTV. For those of you with a REALLY short attention span I guess. Well to be fair no one watched Raw on Monday anyway so it's not the worst idea. AJ continues to look great in the Ziggler shirt and shorts.
Miz takes over to start with a headlock as JBL lists off Langston's power lifting records. Josh runs his mouth so JBL threatens to smack him every time Matthews says something stupid. JBL: “I would do it but I'd hit you so often it would sound like applause.” Miz hits a flapjack and throws Ziggler to the floor, but Langston catches him in mid air. Back in and Ziggler takes over, getting two off the jumping elbow drop.
We hit the chinlock for a bit until Miz comes back with some ground and pound. We take a break and come back with Ziggler getting another two off another elbow drop. Dolph hooks another chinlock as we repeat the same sequence from before the break for no apparent reason. Miz comes back with some clotheslines and avoids the Fameasser. There's the corner clothesline followed by the top rope ax handle, but a Big E. distraction lets Ziggler hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 7:50 shown of 11:20.
Miz makes fun of AJ post match and implies she's a ****e. Ziggler runs in and takes a mic to the head but Langston runs Miz over.
Ricardo is out of the title shot tonight. Brad Maddox comes in and wants one more shot. For no apparent reason, Booker gives him ONE MORE shot. So Maddox is Christan from last year now? Brad leaves and Alberto says he wants a shot at Big Show for what he did, so Booker gives him the title shot tonight. So is Alberto face again after being a heel on Raw after being a face for weeks after being a heel for years?
Brad Maddox vs. Sheamus
Exactly what you would expect with the only entertaining part being JBL's response to Josh asking what percentage JBL gives Maddox in this. “About the same as you becoming a good announcer.” The Brogue Kick ends this at 3:54.
Raw ReBound is the Santa story along with the main event. I love people that say this insults their intelligence. They're watching WWE and THIS is what insults their intelligence?
Prime Time Players vs. Usos
The Players have new music which isn't as catchy. Young and Jey start things off and Darren gets double teamed a bit. Titus makes a blind tag and kicks Jey in the head to take over. There's some heel miscommunication but Young hits the gutbuster for two on Jey anyway. The twins switch allowing Jimmy to roll up Young for the pin at 2:07.
We hear from the Shield again where they recap everything they've done over the year. They promise more next year.
Big Show doesn't think much of Alberto.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio gets an even bigger fake pop than Miz from earlier. After some big match intros (it's so odd hearing Alberto's entrance in English), Del Rio pounds away to start and blocks the chop in the corner. The second attempt isn't blocked though and down goes Alberto. Show takes him to the mat with a headlock takeover and cranks away on the head.
He throws Alberto to the outside and sends him into the steps before hooking an armbar back inside. Alberto comes back with a kick to the head and some shots to the arm but the armbreaker is broken up by a shove to the floor. Show tries to leave but Sheamus jumps him in the aisle for the DQ at 5:21.
Show walks away but runs into about half the roster (including heels) who beat him back into the ring for an enziguri from Del Rio and a Brogue Kick from Sheamus.
Results
Brodus Clay b. Primo – Splash
Wade Barrett/Rhodes Scholars b. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
Sheamus b. Brad Maddox – Brogue Kick
Usos b. Prime Time Players – Small package to Young
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn/Alicia Fox/Natalya/Layla b. Rosa Mendes/Aksana/Eve Torres/Tamina Snuka – Gutbuster to Eve
Sheamus b. Big Show – Brogue Kick
Zack Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder
The Miz/Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett/Antonio Cesaro – Skull Crushing Finale to Barrett
Great Khali b. Brad Maddox – Punjabi Plunge
Usos/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/Brodus Clay/Santino Marella b. 3MB/Tensai/Prime Time Players – Superfly Splash to Slater
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Impact Wrestling
Samoa Joe b. Masked Man – Koquina Clutch
Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Kazarian
Gail Kim b. Miss Tessmacher – Eat Defeat
Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest
Smackdown
Brodus Clay b. Primo – Splash
Wade Barrett/Rhodes Scholars b. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
Sheamus b. Brad Maddox – Brogue Kick
Usos b. Prime Time Players – Small package to Young
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2012
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Greetings and welcome to the dumbest idea WWE has had in YEARS. That's right, it's a three hour show on CHRISTMAS FREAKING EVE. You know, the night when the target audience goes to bed early to make sure they're up early the next morning. I'm REALLY not looking forward to this and odds are it's going to suck because they don't want to waste good ideas. Let's get to it.
We open with the roster singing a WWE themed Christmas carol which to be fair is pretty funny stuff.
Here's Santa Claus to be guest host tonight. He's handing out presents....and gets run over by Alberto's car. In something I never thought I'd have to say, Santa does a stretcher job. He gives a thumb up as we take a break. This was so campy that it was hilarious.
Back with Booker telling everyone to get through the night because that's what Santa would want. Everyone yells at Del Rio when Cena comes in to really rub it in. Alberto says it wasn't his fault, so Booker makes Cena vs. Del Rio in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight. Cena: “I'LL DO IT FOR SANTA!”
Cody Rhodes vs. Kane
Kane throws him around to start but Cody comes back with a dropkick to the knee. Rhodes is sent to the floor but manages to send Kane's arm into the post from the outside. Not bad. Back in and a middle rope dropkick gets one on Kane. Cole: “Kane is in his Christmas gear in red here.” Cody works over the arm as the match slows down a lot. A side slam puts Cody back down and there's the clothesline from the top. Rhodes goes after the arm to block the chokeslam and hits the Disaster Kick to the shoulder. That means absolutely nothing as the chokeslam pins Cody at 5:53.
Rosa Mendes/Tamina Snuka/Aksana/Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox/Natalya/Kaitlyn/Layla
Natalya and Aksana start things off as this is your usual excuse to have eight chicks in sexy Christmas outfits. Aksana gets beaten up so it's off to Alicia who is thrown around by the hair. Off to Layla who I'm digging as a blonde. Rosa distracts Layla so Tamina can get in a shot so the match can drag on even longer. Layla finally comes back with a dropkick and it's off to Kaitlyn to clean house. A shoulder gets two on Eve and everything breaks down. We get the parade of finishers (Aksana's is a spinebuster) and Kaitlyn pins Eve at 5:27 after a gutbuster.
AJ and Dolph cuddle up and watch TLC.
We recap Santa's injuries.
Here are some lumberjacks for the next match.
Big Show vs. Sheamus
Lumberjack match as I said. They shove each other around to start until Sheamus grabs a headlock. This is non-title as well. Show shoves him around a bit but gets guillotined on the top rope, allowing Sheamus to hit the ten forearms and the shoulder off the top. The Brogue Kick is loaded up but Show hits the floor and we hit a break.
Back with Show running over Sheamus before cranking on Sheamus' arm. He even sings a Christmas song as he cranks. Sheamus grabs Show's nose to escape but a slam attempt doesn't work. We head to the floor where the lumberjacks work over Sheamus as they're required to do. Back in and Sheamus is suplexed down for no cover, allowing Tensai to get in a cheap shot on Sheamus.
Show goes for some punches in the corner but Sheamus comes out of it with an electric chair drop. Cool visual there. Sheamus pounds away but gets caught in a chokeslam for two. Show's standing legdrop gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. We hit a LONG bearhug until Sheamus punches his way out of it. Sheamus pounds away in the corner but gets caught by a clothesline for two.
A big old elbow gets two more for Show so he loads up the Vader Bomb. Naturally it misses so there's White Noise for two. A Brogue Kick is blocked and the pale one is sent to the floor, triggering another brawl. Back in and Show misses the WMD, allowing Sheamus to hit a GREAT Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:00.
Sheamus and the good lumberjacks clear the ring.
We get the Miz segment with the Muppets from Tribute to the Troops.
Here's Otunga to explain why Santa was at fault earlier. Cue Ryder to say how stupid this is and squash Otunga.
Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga
Ryder starts fast and gets two off some clotheslines. Otunga takes it into the corner and pounds away a bit before getting two off a posing neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock which goes nowhere, so Otunga goes back to the clotheslines. Back to the chinlock as we have another match that is going on longer than it has any right to do. Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff like the middle rope dropkick and the Broski Boot. After the first one is blocked, the Rough Ryder gets the pin at 4:53.
Booker and Teddy are in the back when Brad Maddox comes in. The usual results follow and his opponent will be an elf.
Kofi Kingston/The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro/Wade Barrett
Miz and Cesaro start things off with Antonio shoving him around with ease. Now Miz frustrates Cesaro before hitting a flapjack for two. Barrett comes in and pounds away a bit before getting dropkicked down for two. Off to Kofi to work on the English dude's arm. Wade bails from Trouble in Paradise and here's Cesaro again. A kind of spinebuster puts Kofi down and the heels take over again.
Barrett comes back in for a surfboard hold, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. There's the gutwrench suplexe from Cesaro and we hit a fast chinlock. Kofi kicks him away and there's the not very hot tag to Miz. He cleans house on Barrett before hitting the top rope ax handle for no cover. The Finale is broken up by Cesaro but Miz kicks Wade into the ropes. Kofi kicks Wade in the head, allowing Miz to hit the Finale for the pin at 5:56. Barrett got pinned if that wasn't clear.
Santa is still hurt.
AJ gives Ziggler his MITB case and takes off her robe to reveal a Ziggler shirt and her tiny shorts. Kissing ensues.
Brad Maddox vs. Great Khali
Maddox tells Khali that he (Khali) isn't an elf. Maddox gets the chest chops that he deserves and is sent to the floor where Horny works him over a bit. Brad goes after the knee and takes Khali down, working on the knee in the process. A chop puts Maddox down but he poses from one knee. Brad goes to the middle rope, gets chopped, clotheslined and hit with a Punjabi Plunge for the pin at 3:12 Screw rating this. It was a squash and that's it.
Khali and Horny sing and dance.
Here are Punk and Heyman to make fun of Christmas carols and Pittsburgh. Punk makes fun of the Steelers by saying he's a Cubs fan. Girl in the audience: “WHO ARE THE CUBS?” Idiot. Punk says Ryback has ruined Christmas and Hanukah, but has Ryback been punished? Of course not. Instead, he gets a title shot on the first Raw of the new year. Maybe Ryback should get a shot if there was ANY proof that Punk was working with Maddox or the Shield, but there's no proof of that at all.
Punk complains about being in rehab and physical therapy over the holidays, unlike the Pittsburgh fans who are out bar hopping. Heyman talks about how Punk has been the victim of a conspiracy over the last 400 days. Ryback has failed in both of his title shots but he's getting a third. Cue Ryback, who announces that the match on the seventh is a TLC match. He starts a TLC match and that's that.
Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow
It's a battle of the classical music. Bryan shouts NO at Sandow when Sandow asks for silence. Bryan tries a fast NO Lock but Damien heads to the floor where Bryan hits the knee off the apron. Back in and there's a running dropkick in the corner for one for Daniel. There's the moonsault out of the corner by Bryan and it's time for the kicks to the chest. A big kick misses though and Sandow rolls him up for tow.
Bryan is sent to the apron and into the buckle, knocking him to the outside. A few shots into the apron get two for Damien and we hit the chinlock. Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow for two. He loads up a superplex but gets knocked down, but Bryan misses the swan dive. Not that it matters as there's the NO Lock for the tap out at 5:38.
Prime Time Players/Tensai/3MB vs. Brodus Clay/Santino Marella/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd/Usos
Take 12 guys, throw them into a tag match I guess. Brodus and Young start and Darren has his arm worked on. Off to Tyson who continues the idea before hitting some dropkicks. Off to Tensai who suplexes Gabriel, only to get kicked in the face. Hot tag brings in Santino who gets taken down by Mahal. Off to Jey vs. O'Neal as we try to get everyone into the match.
Titus throws him around but gets sent into the corner, allowing for double tags to Jimmy and Slater. A Bubba Bomb puts Heath down and there's the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Brodus runs over everyone. Finishers are hit everywhere until everyone hits a big move on Slater. Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash on him for the pin at 6:13.
HELL NO exchanges presents. Bryan gets a Slammy and Kane gets a puppy. Kane: “Thanks! I'm starving!” Bryan loses it and takes the puppy back.
AJ and Dolph read the Night Before Christmas, with AJ enjoying beating up Cena far too much. That's a running theme tonight. The make out under some mistletoe and knock over the Christmas tree.
Santa is still unconscious but his heart monitor starts playing Jingle Bells. His feet start knocking together, and the fans ERUPT. You can't beat the classics.
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena
Street fight here. Cena pounds away in the corner to start and we quickly head to the floor. Del Rio whips him into the steps and goes after the arm. Isn't Del Rio supposed to be a face? Back in and Alberto gets a mic, saying that what happened to Santa was an accident. Del Rio hits Cena with the mic, but Cena blocks another try and shouts SAAAAAAAAANTA before pounding away on Del Rio.
John heads to the floor to open a present, finding a chair. A few shots to Del Rio's back get two as Ricardo pulls the referee to the floor. After a chase, Del Rio catches Cena coming in with a clothesline. Ricardo hands Del rio a present, and it's a pie. You know whose head that is going upside. I hope Ricardo knows a good cleaner. They head up the ramp and Cena opens another package, finding a television monitor. Del Rio is knocked loopy as we take a break.
Back with Del Rio in trouble and opening another package. Inside this one.....is a teddy bear. Del Rio throws the bear at John, giving Cena the line of the night: Cena: “A BEAR? SERIOUSLY???” Ricardo gets wrapped up in a wreath and has a box broken over his head. Cena knocks Del Rio down and goes to look for another weapon. Fans: “USE THE TREE! USE THE TREE! USE THE TREE!” Del Rio gets crushed with the tree and Cena opens another box, finding a bowling ball. He rolls it down the ramp, hitting a perfectly placed Del Rio. Cena is a good shot actually.
John pulls out a fire extinguisher and sprays Del Rio down to make it a white Christmas. Cole and Jerry are probably reaching a record for the most Christmas puns in one night. Ricardo jumps on Cena's back and actually chokes him down.....BUT SANTA IS BACK! He whacks Ricardo over the head with his bag of toys and puts an oven mit on his hand. That acts as a sock in this case for a mandible claw, which sets up the AA for the pin at 14:53.
Cena and presumably Mick Claus hug to end the show. Cena is worried about the time because Santa has work to do.
Results
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn/Alicia Fox/Natalya/Layla b. Rosa Mendes/Aksana/Eve Torres/Tamina Snuka – Gutbuster to Eve
Sheamus b. Big Show – Brogue Kick
Zack Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder
The Miz/Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett/Antonio Cesaro – Skull Crushing Finale to Barrett
Great Khali b. Brad Maddox – Punjabi Plunge
Usos/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/Brodus Clay/Santino Marella b. 3MB/Tensai/Prime Time Players – Superfly Splash to Slater
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment
Tuesday
Merry Christmas.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 26, 2012
Host: Tony Dawson
Back to Florida and we've got a new challenger for Rollins in the form of Corey Graves. That's by far the biggest thing that happened last week as the main event was Big Show squashing Bo Dallas for no apparent reason. The shows have been solid lately and hopefully they close out 2012 with another good one. Let's get to it.
Welcome Home.....to a year in review show. Apparently this is going to be highlights from the season, so I'll be cutting and pasting a lot here. Note that the full matches likely won't be shown but I'll be posting the full review from the match.
From August 29:
NXT Championship: Jinder Mahal vs. Seth Rollins
They have a ton of time for this. Fink may be fat and older now (he's only 62 so he's hardly ancient), but that voice is still perfect. Mahal won't shake Dusty's hand before the match. Rollins tries to take him to the mat to start but Mahal gets back up quickly. A dropkick puts Mahal down again and Rollins hits a hard chop. Mahal gets sent to the floor but he avoids a dive and sends Rollins face first into the apron. A suplex onto the ramp has Rollins in trouble and we head back in.
We take a break and come back with Rollins in even more trouble. Mahal stomps him down and hits a backbreaker to start setting up the camel clutch. Rollins gets choked against the ropes and the fans are behind Rollins now. He tries a comeback but gets kneed in the face by Mahal to take him back down. The camel clutch is escaped so Mahal pounds him in the back again. An enziguri out of nowhere puts Mahal down and Rollins punches Jinder down.
Mahal goes up for another knee but Rollins knocks him off the top and out to the floor. Rollins hits a HUGE dive to the floor and both guys are down. Back in and Seth goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed from the top. We take another break and come back with the two of them slugging it out. Mahal might have a bad knee but he pulls off a sitout slam for two. A full nelson slam is countered and Rollins goes to the apron.
Seth hits an enziguri to the head and a running knee for two. The near falls are getting closer and closer here. A running forearm in the corner staggers Mahal but he manages to drop Rollins face first into the buckle. The low superkick (I think he calls it Avada Kadavra, making Rollins awesome) gets two. Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) misses and Mahal hits the full nelson slam for two. Rollins gets to the rope before the clutch can go on and Rollins rolls him up for two. Rollins comes back with the buckle bomb and the Blackout out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 14:24 shown of 21:24.
We get some clips of the rematch. This segues into clips from Raw of the Shield.
We get some highlights of various stars from NXT, such as Richie Steamboat, Bo Dallas, CJ Parker, Audrey Marie, Big E. Langston and Bray Wyatt (gets by far the most time).
From July 11:
Aiden English vs. Bray Wyatt
Wyatt talks on the way to the ring, calling himself the angel in the dirt and singing Time is on My Side by the Rolling Stones. Wyatt pounds him down and sends English to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and Wyatt rolls around on the apron before splashing English in the corner. Wyatt dances with English a bit (literally) before hitting a rolling Downward Spiral for the pin at 1:48. Awesome debut here and a good transition from promos to in ring work which was what I was worried about from Wyatt.
Bray Wyatt talks about how it's a new year for your loved ones to betray you in his name.
We get an exclusive match tonight between Kane and Rhodes.
Video on Kassius Ohno. I still don't care. He talks about inflicting pain on people and we get a recap of his attacks on various people with Regal making the save.
Ohno says a new year is coming and that the year of 13 will be a year for pain.
Punk talks about telling Rollins to beat respect out of people and somehow that evolved into the Shield. The future is here in NXT and he hopes people are taking notice.
Video on Langston and the FIVE count.
From November 28:
Camacho vs. Big E. Langston
This is a match for the $5000 bounty that Vickie has put on Langston's head. Camacho tries to pound on him but Langston keeps shoving him away. A shot out of the corner puts Big E. down but Camacho slaps him like an idiot. The Big Ending (falling slam) ends Camacho at 2:06.
Langston demands the five count and you don't tell a man like that no. Camacho gets two more Big Endings for good measure.
We get a clip of Langston debuting on Raw. Ok, now the question is are they going to reference this on NXT starting next week? They're making it clear what's going on in the main world, so they can't (and by can't I mean will but shouldn't) ignore it from now on.
Langston says he attacked Cena because he was helping his friend. His business here on NXT is to become NXT Champion. His New Year's Resolution is to do just that. Unfortunately his manic style is gone now and he sounds all serious.
Video on various people in NXT that we haven't covered yet, including Kruger and Paige.
It's Rollins defending against Graves next week.
We get a clip from Main Event of Kane injuring Cody's shoulder.
Kane vs. Cody Rhodes
This is from July but it's never before seen. Cody immediately bails to the floor and stalls. Back in and Cody pounds away in the corner, only to be pounded right back down. Kane hits the low dropkick for two and Cody heads to the floor. Rhodes gets beaten up on the stage and aisle before we head back to the ring. Kane misses the clothesline and Cody escapes the chokeslam before sending Kane into the corner.
Cody goes after the knee as we get into a more standard match here. We take a break (complete with a John Cena loves NXT promo) and come back with the announcers talking about a HUGE leap from Cody. We don't get to see it of course, but here's a sidewalk slam from Kane for two instead. The top rope clothesline hits but Cody grabs the rope to avoid a chokeslam. There's the Disaster Kick for two but Cross Rhodes is countered into a chokeslam for the pin at 7:00 shown.
Todd is talking about the upcoming year when Shield cuts into the feed. Rollins talks about being NXT Champion for months but never getting the call from WWE. Ambrose talks about how the WWE is ill and suffering from lies and corruption. The real world has enough injustice in it already and that's not how WWE is supposed to be. Rollins understands why Corey Graves did what he did but next time, Graves is leaving on a stretcher. Ambrose says they're the best. Reigns gets in a great line of “NXT is our house and while we may come and go as we please, we'll always collect the rent.” The Shield is here next week.
Results
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Thursday
Raw got a 2.2, the lowest rating in 15 years. You know, on Christmas Eve. Why is this surprising people?
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 27, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz
Hey it's Open Fight Night, BECAUSE WE JUST HAD A FREAKING GIMMICK SHOW LAST WEEK! Pay no attention to the fact that these shows never accomplish anything and the ratings keep going down, because clearly these stupid gimmicks are the only thing holding them up as high as they go. The show will likely be fine but man alive I don't care about this Open Fight thing. Let's get to it.
After the usual opening recap, here's Bully Ray with something to say. He realizes he and Hogan can't get along because Hogan won't trust him. Tonight, he's calling Hulk out for a talk rather than a fight. The music plays but there's no Hulk. Instead we get Brooke who says Hulk isn't here. We get the melodramatic promo from Brooke about how someone had a camera or something because Hulk knows. DOES NO ONE WATCH THEIR OWN TV SHOWS ANYMORE??? Ray denies anything exists and leaves with Brooke trying to talk sense into him.
Here's Aries who doesn't care what the fans think of him. He'll win the title back soon but tonight, he's going to be in the main event against Roode for costing him the title last week.
Samoa Joe calls out the hammer guy from Aces and 8's and promises to take his mask.
Samoa Joe vs. Masked Man
Joe pounds away to start but gets beaten down in the corner. The masked guy (I believe Mike Knox) hits the running crotch attack in 619 position but misses a charge in the corner. Joe tries the MuscleBuster but gets kicked away. There's the Clutch instead and the masked guy is out at 2:56.
Joe goes for the mask but the rest of the bikers come in for the save. Of course they do.
Robbie E and Jesse have a Dude/Bro off. I'm strangely intrigued by this. The challenge is for a Bro Off later rather than a match of course.
Kenny King tells Christian York to watch tonight and maybe he'll get an X Title match.
It's time for the Bro Off, which has three rules: every bro for himself, you have to end everything in bro....and the third rule isn't listed. Apparently this is a dance off. Scratch that as Robbie dances and Jesse poses. Jesse presses Tara over his head but apparently it's Bros and not Hoes, so Robbie wins by DQ. Robbie T says that's not it because he's in this too. He poses as well before pressing Robbie E over his head. T also fist pumps, backflips, does one handed pushups and humps the mat. The look on E and Jesse's faces are HILARIOUS. T wins apparently.
Van Dam, looking higher than I've ever seen him, calls out Christian York instead of Kenny King.
Christian York vs. Rob Van Dam
Feeling out process to start with both guys missing some strikes. York hits a half nelson suplex to take over and a kick to Van Dam's back to follow up. A rana sends Van Dam to the outside and a missile dropkick back inside for no cover. The Mood Swing (Eve's rolling neckbreaker) gets two as does a kick out of the corner from York. York hits a top rope double stomp to the back for two but misses a charge in the corner. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault for two and Rolling Thunder for no cover. Five Star gets the pin at 4:03.
D-Von talks about getting someone new to join the club. Doc is with some girls and approves of the plan.
We get a package on Joseph Park in OVW. Park: “I'm setting the bar for training.” Danny Davis: “He's dumber than a box of rocks.” We get the clip of Park morphing into Abyss which was the potential that Davis was looking for.
Bad Influence goes to make sure they don't have any merchandise on sale. They have a post-Christmas present for everyone.
Remember to vote for Superstar of the Year.
Roode says he's winning tonight and getting the title back at Genesis.
Sting is still going to be back on 1-3-13.
Daniels dances out to the ring and says greetings and salutations to all you ham sandwiches. He's the reason AJ hasn't been around anymore so why not do it one more time? He calls out AJ and naturally it's Kaz in the AJ gear. Kaz cuts a promo in a GREAT AJ impersonation and says how great Daniels is. Kaz: “I'm not going to wrestle you. I'm going to go find Clair Lynch and....” Daniels: “NO! NOBODY WANTS THAT!”
The tag champions come out and challenge Bad Influence for right now.
Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence
Fast paced start with Daniels getting thrown around by Chavo. Off to Hernandez for a bearhug into a belly to belly overhead suplex. The champions pound away on Daniels before slamming Kaz onto Daniels for no cover. Daniels begs away from Hernandez and we take a break. Back with Hernandez doing his delayed vertical suplex on Daniels. I'm not sure if any time has actually passed since we left. Things break down and Daniels takes over on SuperMex.
The non-champions hit back to back slingshot strikes on Hernandez to take over. The match drags on and gets very boring in a hurry with the heels in control. After about 8 hours, the lukewarm tag brings in Chavo who hits Three Amigos on Kaz. Bad Influence hits a Hart Attack for two but Hernandez sends them to the floor. The champs hit a double dive to the floor before throwing Kaz back in for the Frog Splash and the pin at 14:30.
Hardy has little to say.
Video on Aces and 8's attacking people with the hammer.
We see the guy that Aces and 8's wants to join....and it's Mr. Anderson. He's offered women to help them out and apparently they're good enough to sway him into considering it.
Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher
You know, for those people who wanted this feud to be picked up again. Tessmacher takes over to start and does the Stinkface thing in the corner. Gail gets knocked to the floor but takes over back inside. Kim loads up a super rana but Tessmacher blocks it, sending Gail down onto her head. FREAKING OW MAN! A dragon sleeper in the corner doesn't do much for Tessmacher so Gail takes over again. The sloppiness continues but Tessmacher can't hit that Tesshocker thing of hers. A top rope elbow misses Gail and Eat Defeat ends this at 5:24.
Next week it's Aces and 8's vs. Angle/Joe in a cage. Sure why not.
Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries
Feeling out process to start until Aries sends Roode to the floor. He loads up the suicide dive but stops cold when Roode is waiting on him. We take a break (complete with a Hardy voiceover) and come back to see them hammering on each other before Aries is sat on top. They ring each others' ears and trade pokes to the eyes. Aries knocks Roode down and tries what looks like an elbow, only to roll through when Roode moves.
Bobby loads up a spear but gets caught in the Last Chancery. Roode pokes the eyes to escape and puts on the Crossface which I guess is his secondary finisher. Aries goes to the eyes as well to escape, showing some nice storytelling here. Roode begs off in the corner but trips Aries up for two with his feet on the ropes.
Aries tries a rollup with trunks for two of his own but walks into the spinebuster for two. Hebner disarms Roode of the chair he picked up, allowing Aries to hit a discus elbow for two. Now Austin brings in the chair but Henber will still have none of it. Hebner goes off on both guys so they both deck him and toss him to the floor, throwing the match out at about 13:00.
Post match they both go for the chair but Hardy runs out and takes both guys out to end the show.
Results
Samoa Joe b. Masked Man – Koquina Clutch
Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Kazarian
Gail Kim b. Miss Tessmacher – Eat Defeat
Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest
Friday
Smackdown
Date: December 28, 2012
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
We close out the year here with a taped Smackdown, which is the norm around here. Odds are this isn't going to have anything of note on it because we're in that odd period between TKC and the Rumble. Also after Monday it looks like we're going to have more Sheamus vs. Big Show, because they've only had three straight PPV matches. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the latest stuff with Big Show vs. Sheamus, complete with the voiceover. The AJ/Langston/Cena stuff is thrown in also.
Here's Sheamus to open things up. He hopes we all had a Merry Christmas because he had a great one. He drank gallons of egg nog flavored ale, got a bunch of sweaters he'll never use, and a bunch of sunscreen from his mom. Are we going for ironic humor now? Anyway, his New Year's resolution is to win the title back, so get out here Big Show.
Here's the champ who wants to know if he looks like Santa Claus. The fans and Sheamus say yes, but Show is fatter. Show makes fun of Sheamus' bad humor and says no more title shots. He says the victory on Monday meant nothing because Show wasn't really trying. Show was in Christmas mode and it wasn't even for the title. Sheamus calls him a coward and says Show's pride was on the line on Monday and says he's here for the title. If he can't get that though, he'll have to settle for a fight.
Cue Booker before things get physical of course because that's not how we roll on Smackdown. So much for what Bradshaw says I guess. Booker agrees with Show and says that Sheamus lost at TLC. He did however win on Raw but Show doesn't want to hear this. Show says no one in the locker room is worthy of a shot at him because it reeks of inferiority. Booker says Show is in action tonight and there's going to be a drawing to determine Show's opponent.
The drawing is right now as I guess the entire roster was waiting in line behind the curtain. Teddy and Eve argue over who gets to spin the tumbler because that story is still going for some reason. The tumbler is knocked over to fill in more time. Santino wins the match which I don't think is for the title. They have a brief staredown which results in non-comdy. Apparently it is for the title.
Primo vs. Brodus Clay
Well if nothing else the girls give us something to look at before the match. Epico offers a quick distraction which gives Primo his only offense. Clay catches a cross body in a powerslam before headbutting Primo down. Splash and we're done at 1:13.
The Funkadactyls beat up Rosa post match for no apparent reason. Dancing ensues.
Santino is having a sandwich in the back with Sheamus but the pale one throws said sandwich away. Sheamus is offering him some advice and Santino asks to learn the Brogue Kick. Marella can't get his foot above his waist so Sheamus fires him up. Santino tries it again....and pulls his hamstring, sending him to the floor in screaming pain.
HELL NO/Kofi Kingston vs. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett
This would be the Christmas gift for those of you interested in stuff WAY past its expiration date. Cody and Bryan start things off with Rhodes actually taking him to the mat. Off to Kane instead who isn't as easy to take down. Kane misses a charge into the corner and it's off to Sandow instead. There's a side slam to Damien for two and it's Kofi in off the tag. Not much to see so far. Cody comes back in for about three seconds before it's off to Barrett.
Kingston hits his jumping back elbow and puts on a front facelock. Everyone gets in for a standoff and we take a break. Back with the Scholars pounding on Bryan. There's the Wind-Up Elbow followed by some knees to the face and the big boot in the ropes from Barrett. We hit a camel clutch for a bit before Cody comes in to a LOUD Cody Sucks chant. Bryan escapes a chinlock and drills Rhodes to bring in Kofi. Everything breaks down and everyone hits a mid level signature move. Trouble in Paradise takes out Cody but Kofi walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 7:05 shown of 10:05.
Santino is injured and can't fight tonight, so we draw another name for Show's match. The name will be announced later apparently, and by later they mean after a break. It's Ricardo Rodriguez. Show is very pleased and makes fun of Ricardo by putting the title on his shoulder. He makes Ricardo do the announcement that he (Ricardo) has won the title, but Show knocks him cold instead. Booker promises that Show is in trouble.
Zack Ryder vs. Antonio Cesaro
Non-title again. Cesaro shoves him into the corner to start and suplexes him down for two. We hit a quick chinlock as the fans chant USA. Cesaro cranks on the arm and hits the gutwrench suplex for two. A big double stomp gets another two and we hit a body vice. Ryder fights up and hits a missile dropkick but the Broski Boot misses. The European Uppercut and the Neutralizer end this at 3:28.
We recap the MizTV segment from Raw.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
I'm not usually one to notice fake pops, but there is no way Miz is getting that kind of a reaction. During the entrances, we see MORE from MizTV. For those of you with a REALLY short attention span I guess. Well to be fair no one watched Raw on Monday anyway so it's not the worst idea. AJ continues to look great in the Ziggler shirt and shorts.
Miz takes over to start with a headlock as JBL lists off Langston's power lifting records. Josh runs his mouth so JBL threatens to smack him every time Matthews says something stupid. JBL: “I would do it but I'd hit you so often it would sound like applause.” Miz hits a flapjack and throws Ziggler to the floor, but Langston catches him in mid air. Back in and Ziggler takes over, getting two off the jumping elbow drop.
We hit the chinlock for a bit until Miz comes back with some ground and pound. We take a break and come back with Ziggler getting another two off another elbow drop. Dolph hooks another chinlock as we repeat the same sequence from before the break for no apparent reason. Miz comes back with some clotheslines and avoids the Fameasser. There's the corner clothesline followed by the top rope ax handle, but a Big E. distraction lets Ziggler hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 7:50 shown of 11:20.
Miz makes fun of AJ post match and implies she's a ****e. Ziggler runs in and takes a mic to the head but Langston runs Miz over.
Ricardo is out of the title shot tonight. Brad Maddox comes in and wants one more shot. For no apparent reason, Booker gives him ONE MORE shot. So Maddox is Christan from last year now? Brad leaves and Alberto says he wants a shot at Big Show for what he did, so Booker gives him the title shot tonight. So is Alberto face again after being a heel on Raw after being a face for weeks after being a heel for years?
Brad Maddox vs. Sheamus
Exactly what you would expect with the only entertaining part being JBL's response to Josh asking what percentage JBL gives Maddox in this. “About the same as you becoming a good announcer.” The Brogue Kick ends this at 3:54.
Raw ReBound is the Santa story along with the main event. I love people that say this insults their intelligence. They're watching WWE and THIS is what insults their intelligence?
Prime Time Players vs. Usos
The Players have new music which isn't as catchy. Young and Jey start things off and Darren gets double teamed a bit. Titus makes a blind tag and kicks Jey in the head to take over. There's some heel miscommunication but Young hits the gutbuster for two on Jey anyway. The twins switch allowing Jimmy to roll up Young for the pin at 2:07.
We hear from the Shield again where they recap everything they've done over the year. They promise more next year.
Big Show doesn't think much of Alberto.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio gets an even bigger fake pop than Miz from earlier. After some big match intros (it's so odd hearing Alberto's entrance in English), Del Rio pounds away to start and blocks the chop in the corner. The second attempt isn't blocked though and down goes Alberto. Show takes him to the mat with a headlock takeover and cranks away on the head.
He throws Alberto to the outside and sends him into the steps before hooking an armbar back inside. Alberto comes back with a kick to the head and some shots to the arm but the armbreaker is broken up by a shove to the floor. Show tries to leave but Sheamus jumps him in the aisle for the DQ at 5:21.
Show walks away but runs into about half the roster (including heels) who beat him back into the ring for an enziguri from Del Rio and a Brogue Kick from Sheamus.
Results
Brodus Clay b. Primo – Splash
Wade Barrett/Rhodes Scholars b. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
Sheamus b. Brad Maddox – Brogue Kick
Usos b. Prime Time Players – Small package to Young
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn/Alicia Fox/Natalya/Layla b. Rosa Mendes/Aksana/Eve Torres/Tamina Snuka – Gutbuster to Eve
Sheamus b. Big Show – Brogue Kick
Zack Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder
The Miz/Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett/Antonio Cesaro – Skull Crushing Finale to Barrett
Great Khali b. Brad Maddox – Punjabi Plunge
Usos/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/Brodus Clay/Santino Marella b. 3MB/Tensai/Prime Time Players – Superfly Splash to Slater
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam
Impact Wrestling
Samoa Joe b. Masked Man – Koquina Clutch
Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Kazarian
Gail Kim b. Miss Tessmacher – Eat Defeat
Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest
Smackdown
Brodus Clay b. Primo – Splash
Wade Barrett/Rhodes Scholars b. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer to Kingston
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
Sheamus b. Brad Maddox – Brogue Kick
Usos b. Prime Time Players – Small package to Young
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Sheamus interfered