klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
So we're done with the Final show and we're off to the Genesis, or beginning, show. There's a Doc Brown joke in there somewhere. Anyway, Hardy vs. Roode is set as the main event and I can't help but think Roode is in severe danger of being a transitional champion. From what I've heard, tonight we begin a wild card (as in random draw) tag team tournament to find new #1 contenders, because the tag division is somehow worse than WWE's at the moment. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event of the PPV Sunday here Roode ran around at the end to run out the clock. The video has a soundbyte from Sting, saying we're going to open the show with a five minute overtime. Ok then.
TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode
AJ speeds things up immediately and tries to get a fast pin. They hit the mat and it's still pretty fast paced. Rollup gets two and we have three minutes left. All AJ so far. Roode gets in a shot to the knee but can't wrap it around the post. Two minutes left. AJ keeps trying for pins but the champ keeps running. He hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT with a minute to go. Roode pokes him in the eye and hits the floor, where he's able to run around well enough so that the Pele that AJ hits isn't enough for the pin so the time runs out at 5:00.
Sting comes out and says we're going until there's a winner. Roode hits AJ in the knee and puts on a one legged Liontamer to end this in less than 30 seconds.
Roode says he's awesome and bring on Jeff Hardy.
Wild Card Tag Tournament First Round: Robbie T/Hernandez vs. Abyss/Scott Steiner
And remember: these teams are RANDOM. Pay no attention to the rivals being partners. Hernandez vs. Papa Pump starts us off. Steiner takes over and hits the suplexes into the push-ups. Rob comes in and throws Steiner around for a few seconds but that's about all he's trusted with so it's off to Hernandez and Abyss. Abyss cleans house and hits the Black Hole Slam on Robbie but slowly tags in Steiner for the pin at 4:10.
Angle says he's going to take care of Sting.
Here's Kurt who demands Sting come out here. Angle talks about Storm and demands a rematch, threatening Sting with violence if he doesn't get it. Sting says no because Angle has had two chances and it's time for Storm to go after Roode. Angle threatens to go to Storm's hometown and beat up the whole city. That's a new one.
Anthony Nees vs. Zema Ion
There's going to be a best of three series between these two for a shot at Aries at Genesis. I barely remember this Nees guy but I guess that's enough for him to be up for the #1 contender spot. They speed things up to start and I have no idea who is supposed to be the heel here or if there is one. Nees sends him to the floor and comes back in with a springboard Lionsault for two.
Flip dive to the floor and a springboard forearm gets two. Back in and Ion can't get anything going at all. This is really just an exhibition by Nees. Ion hits a missile dropkick and a nipup dropkick for two as he pulls Needs up. Ok so Ion is the heel I guess. A modified facebuster gets two but he pulls Nees up again. A 450 ends this at 4:00.
The Jarretts get here and argue over who is going to retire.
Zema says he's pretty and he took the chances tonight. It's all about me, himself, and Ion now. Oh for corn's sake.
Gunner gets fired up by Flair.
Jesse Neal vs. Gunner
Gunner beats him down to start and I don't think this is going to last long. They go to the floor and Gunner shoves Hebner for the DQ at 1:40. Neal takes a DDT on the exposed concrete. I think he's done with the company and this is writing him off TV.
Karen flirts with Sting to try to keep her job. Sting implies everything is cool and Karen leaves happy. Sting says poor Jeff.
Here's Hardy who says he's hurt but he's going to Genesis as the #1 contender. Cue Ray who says Hardy is the kind of guy who sit around and Tweets to his fans. They're fighting tonight and Ray says he knows Hardy almost as well as anyone. Ray talks about Hardy no showing a PPV which let Ray take Hardy's spot in Immortal.
Joe tells Magnus to stay out of his way tonight. They're partners in the tournament. Magnus tells Joe to get out of his face.
Wild Cart Tag Tournament First Round: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Douglas Williams/Robbie E
The Brits, still called a team here, explode for a bit until Douglas takes over. The idea here is they're trying to keep Joe out because they can't stop him. Robbie comes in with a middle rope fist drop. Magnus takes over on him and it's back to Magnus. Rolling Chaos fails and here's Joe. He cleans house and has some decent team work with Magnus as Robbie appears to leave after taking a middle rope elbow. Williams goes up and gets crotched, allowing the MuscleBuster to end this at 3:50.
Jeff Jarrett basically says fire Karen to Sting, which is the opposite of what Karen said earlier. Interesting.
Eric Young talks about how he's been told to find his partner here in the back. It's ODB.
Here's D-Von and he calls out Pope. Cue Pope with D-Von's kids. D-Von says those are his boys and he's been there for them since they were born. He put food on their table and clothes on their backs. He's going to train them the way he's going to train them and that's that. Pope talks about how the boys want someone cool to train them, not a boring guy like D-Von. D-Von goes to leave and Pope says that's what your wife did. He implies sex with D-Von's ex and D-Von half kills him. Pope gets in a low blow and D-Von's kids help in with the beatdown, putting on Pope glasses. Pope shouts that they're his now.
Jeff lies to Karen about who he said should be fired. Sting wants to see them both at once.
Traci Brooks vs. Madison Rayne
Traci charges at Madison on the top of the ramp and beats her down to start. There's the bell. Madison takes over once we get back in the ring and the announcers talk about Traci's double D's. Madison screams a lot and does nothing really worth talking about. Traci fights back and the crowd politely applauds. Rayne Drop gets two. A hard kick to the side of the head is enough for the pin at 3:51.
The Jarretts have their meeting with Sting and their stories seem to not line up that well. They both deny it and Sting has footage. The Jarretts argue a lot and it's like 10:54 and the main event entrances haven't even started yet. Sting's look standing in the back at this is hilarious. He fires them both.
Roode comes out for commentary.
Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray
After the big match intros, the bell rings at 10:59. Ray jumps him during the shirt toss and works on the ribs that are still hurt from the cage match. Tree of Woe doesn't go well for Jeff. Off to a bearhug and he even gets a few two counts off of it. A Vader Bomb misses and Jeff gets in his first offense. Bubba Bomb is countered into the Twist of Fate for two. Side slam gets two for Ray. A second Twist ends this at 4:44.
Roode jumps Hardy post match and Ray helps put him through a table. Sting comes out for the save and is beaten down too.
Results
Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles went to a time limit draw
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles Single Leg Half Crab
Scott Steiner/Abyss b. Robbie T/Hernandez Black Hole Slam to Robbie T
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nees 450 Splash
Jesse Neal b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Douglas Williams/Robbie E MuscleBuster to Williams
Madison Rayne b. Traci Brooks Kick to the head
Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray Twist of Fate
Friday
Smackdown got a 1.1
Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
It's the final show before TLC and I'm only kind of looking forward to the show. I don't know if it's the lack of anything resembling an awesome heel or what, but I can't get fired up for this show at all. It's not just me as I've heard that WWE is expecting it to do awful business. Either way, this should be an ok show as Smackdown is almost guaranteed to be anymore. Let's get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is the global warming due to it being in the fifties in the middle of December.
Big Show faces Jack Swagger tonight. Is there a reason for that? Was Long mad at Henry or something? Also Barrett/Ziggler vs. Ryder/Orton.
We open with Booker T being brought out to be interviewed by Josh. Booker asks the fans if he looks ready. He was ready to become a commentator but Cody had to make things physical. Booker refuses to become a legitimizer for Cody. He hasn't thought about returning to the ring full time, but he'll cross that bridge when he wins the title. Cue Cody who says that on Sunday we might see some nostalgia and maybe even a rush of offense that makes people say Booker is back.
If it was a movie, Booker would win and Cody would leave in disgrace. But this isn't a movie. What's going to happen when Booker's legs give out and Booker falls to Cody? Booker wants to know how Cody feels about the reality of him beating Cody up right now. Cody is facing Bryan tonight and if Booker interferes again, he'll lose his title match and Cody will work to get him suspended. Booker needs to get out of the ring so Cody can show him how legitimate he already is, sucka. Great promo from Cody.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
Booker gets in on commentary and Bryan still has bad ribs. Booker even apologizes for interfering in the previous two matches. Bryan goes for a quick LeBell Lock but Cody hits the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan holding a headlock. Here's a surfboard attempt but Bryan just rams Cody's knees into the mat instead. To the apron and Cody suplexes Bryan to the floor in a good looking bump.
Cody works on the bad ribs as Cole runs down Booker. Booker says he'll defend the title if he wins it, implying he'll be back full time. Bryan gets in some kicks but Cody takes him down again for two. Bryan gets some rollups for some far falls. He hits something for two but we had the camera on Booker instead of the ring so I have no idea what he used.
Here are the kicks in the corner but Cody gets a foot up to break up the charge. Bryan tries a belly to back superplex but Cody floats on top for two. The ribs on Bryan are starting to take their toll on his offense as they exchange rollups into the Cross Rhodes for the pin for Cody at 5:46 shown of 9:16.
Alicia Fox vs. Natalya
Nattie brings out the tissues which isn't working as well as the screaming CRY at other Divas. Josh tells us that Kelly, Eve and Alicia will be blogging for Perez Hilton. I'm trying to care even less than I do and it's just not working. Natalya works on the ribs but Alicia gets a small package for the pin at 1:01. Correction: I've found something I care about even less than the Hilton thing.
Alicia pulled some of the extensions out of Natalya's hair. Alicia says she just got out foxed. Oh geez. Natalya charges in post match so Alicia tries a spinning legdrop, hitting Natalya right on the forehead. And she's going to get pushed isn't she?
We look at the video of the nominees for Pipe Bomb of the Year. At least this was funny.
Swagger says he'll win tonight. Henry comes up and says if Swagger hurts Big Show, he'll get a title shot. Swagger says he'll hurt Big Show, but for himself, not for Henry. He says Henry is losing on Sunday and that he'll win the title in the future. He really is sounding more like a face every week, which would be the best thing that could happen to him.
Usos vs. Primo/Epico
When I say the Usos should be on TV more, I don't mean jobbing to the latest Hispanic team. At least I get my Siva Tao and to look at Rosa Mendes. So is Hunico gone? The Usos take over on Epico to start and Booker says the Usos remind him of Harlem Heat. Off to Primo who hammers on I believe Jey. After a chinlock he fights back and Booker says he's not in his own Fave Five. Everything breaks down and Jey hits a superkick to Primo. He loads up the splash but Rosa distracts him, allowing a Backstabber to get the pin at 2:59. This was fine.
To hype up Swagger vs. Show, they show a clip of a match from July of 2010. Seriously?
Jack Swagger vs. Big Show
Swagger even does the push-ups so you know he's serious. Almost immediately Henry comes out with a chair in hand. Swagger tries to jump Big Show but it doesn't work that well for him. Jack takes out the leg but it doesn't exactly last that long. After a brief beating on the floor, Show chops away in the corner. Henry is sitting in the aisle in the chair.
All Big Show here as this is more of an exhibition for Henry than anything else. Notice something Big Show does here: the telling the crowd to be silent for the chops. The chop gets a big pop for that and a part of that is due to him talking to the crowd. Think back to guys like Hogan, Sting, Austin, Rock, Flair etc. They all got huge reactions and they all directly talked to the crowd, be it through shouting at them, talking to fans in the front row, asking their approval for something etc. It's an old standard and it still works today. Fans like being involved in the show, even in tiny ways like that.
Swagger gets in a shoulder to the knee and the Vader Bomb gets no cover. The second one gets two but Show fires him off like he's nothing. Show starts his comeback despite barely being in trouble. Swagger rolls through the chokeslam into the ankle lock and Show is in trouble. After being in the hold over 30 seconds, Show kicks him off, pops up and kills Swagger dead with the WMD at 5:47.
Henry blasts Swagger and a production guy with the chair post match.
Ryder comes up to Orton in the back and wants to know if they're on the same page. Orton says no. Same book? Maybe. Ryder is very happy for that and fist pumps. He leaves and Orton almost looks disturbed. Funny segment and it only lasted like 20 seconds.
Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater
Cole rants about the DiBiase Posse stuff before the match. I'd go to one of those if there was a show in Lexington. Slater slaps him in the face and DiBiase goes off, sending him to the floor and hammering away. Slater takes over back in the ring and hits a forearm off the top for two. He comes off the middle rope and jumps into an atomic drop. The following clothesline leads to Dream Street for the pin at 3:09.
Mahal comes in and beats down DiBiase post match. Since he's Indian he uses a camel clutch. Teddy comes out and says break it up. If Mahal wants a match, he can fight Sheamus.
Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus
Very nice pop for Sheamus. Sheamus works on the arm to start until Mahal pounds away on him a bit. Sheamus is like screw that and hits a big elbow to put Jinder back down. The forearms to the chest don't work and we get a chase scene on the floor. Now the forearms hit but with Sheamus on the apron instead of in the ring. Slingshot shoulder gets two. Cole says Mahal kind of floats. Odd description but ok then. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Mahal and he hooks a chinlock. Sheamus wakes up and hits his signature stuff and the Brogue Kick is good for the win at 3:50.
Video on the Slammys eat up some time. Cole won another from WWE.com for Most Regrettable Ring Attire for when he dressed as HHH.
Video on HHH vs. Nash which is happening for some reason that we're still waiting on. I know the storyline but why is this match happening period? Nash isn't going to be anything full time (for the love of all things good and holy I hope not at least) and HHH is probably going to face Taker at Mania given what he said on Monday, so I don't get the point in these two having a featured match on Sunday. I guess it's because he's HHH.
Randy Orton/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Wade Barrett
No complaints about putting two feuds together into one match. A second coming video interrupts Orton's entrance. I've heard a few answers for this and one is more interesting than the other. It'll likely be Jericho though. Ziggler vs. Ryder starts us off. Ryder takes over with punches and a flapjack. Off to Orton who slows things way down and does the Garvin Stomp.
Back to Ryder who Ziggler beats up so he can't tag in Orton again to bore us to tears. Now Barrett comes in to beat up Ryder for awhile. Orton gets a tag so Barrett bails quickly. We're waiting on the big showdown between them here. Orton focuses on Barrett too much though and Ziggler gets in a shot to take over. The backbreaker is broken up so Ryder comes in to send Ziggler to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Orton pounding Ziggler in the corner. The jumping knee drop gets two. Ziggler gets in a single shot and falls into the corner so Barrett can come in. A big boot puts Barrett down and Orton is in trouble. Ziggler hammers on him and gets two. Orton gets a belly to back suplex on Barrett and there's the moderately hot tag to Ryder. Ryder gets the knee up in the corner and the Broski Boot (BIG pop for the fist pump) but Ziggler breaks up the Rough Ryder.
Ziggler kicks out of a rollup and hooks a half crab on Ryder. Back to Barrett for a chinlock. They're going through the motions very badly here. It's not a bad match but it's as basic of a tag match as it could possibly be. Wasteland is countered into a DDT to put both guys down. There's the real hot tag to Orton who cleans house. Snap powerslam puts Ziggy down as does the over the shoulder neckbreaker. Ryder and Barrett go to the floor and Ziggler misses the Fameasser so the RKO can end him at 11:53 shown of 15:23.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Cross Rhodes
Alicia Fox b. Natalya Small Package
Epico/Primo b. Usos Backstabber to Jey
Big Show b. Jack Swagger WMD
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal Brogue Kick
Randy Orton/Zack Ryder b. Wade Barrett/Dolph Ziggler RKO to Ziggler
Saturday
Nothing today.
Sunday
Tables Ladders and Chairs 2011
Date: December 18, 2011
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
This is the final PPV of the year for 2011 and I'm really not all that thrilled by it. The main event isn't really clear, as there are a few matches that could go on last. It could be either of the world title matches or the ladder match with HHH vs. Nash. Surprisingly enough, there's no Cena match on here to speak of. Also, hopefully, Ryder finally gets his US Title tonight. Let's get to it.
Basic video, talking about choosing your weapon.
Vickie introduces Dolph.
US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler
Battle of the Z's here. Ziggler has on blue trunks and they're really not working for him. Ryder controls early on and is pretty fired up here. The champ gets control quickly though, hitting a DDT onto the apron. Ziggler drops a bunch (as in like ten) elbows on Ryder but they only get two. Off to a chinlock and the fans chant Let's go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo. Ziggler uses Ryder's body to brace himself for situps.
And now let's start talking about Twitter. Ryder fights back but gets caught in an Angle Slam for two. Ryder comes back and hits a missile dropkick from the middle rope for two. Here's his comeback and the Broski Boot hits. Vickie puts Ziggler's foot on the ropes and gets ejected for it. They trade rollups and Ziggler tries two Fameassers, one of which hits. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. He goes up and gets crotched, allowing Ryder to bust out a top rope rana for two. I love how his arms fly up in the air on every cover.
Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot into the post for two. The fans are still cheering for Ryder as they were earlier. Out of nowhere, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder and WINS THE TITLE at 10:25. The camera immediately cuts to Ryder's dad in the crowd which is a really nice touch. They treated this like a really big moment, which it was.
Booker is getting ready in the back when Cody jumps him and beats him down. Booker says he's ok and looks all ticked off.
Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Epico/Primo
Epico vs. Bourne gets us started. They trade near falls for a little while and it's off to Kofi. All champions so far. More near falls for the champions and the heels finally start double teaming Bourne. Rosa keeps shouting in Spanish because that's what evil Hispanics do. Epico busts out some rolling belly to backs for two. How has this match been going five minutes already?
You would think a match with Kofi Kingston as the biggest guy would go a little faster. Gory Stretch by Epico is countered into a sunset flip for two. Hot tag finally brings in Kofi who hits every Puerto Rican in blue in sight. Boom Drop to Primo sets up Trouble in Paradise but he settles for a springboard crossbody instead. Everything breaks down and Bourne dives to the floor to take out Epico. Trouble in Paradise hits in the ring and they keep the titles at 7:32.
Josh has no update on Booker but Cody was very happy a few seconds ago, so the match may be off. That's not official though.
Teddy Long is in the back as Santa and Horny is his depressed elf. He finally points out that he's an adult and asks why there's a black Santa. Teddy: In my neighborhood, no fat jolly white man would ever come down my chimney. Teddy gives Horny a gift: Rosetta Stone Ebonics. Horny kicks Santa in the shin.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
This is a tables match. Orton takes over quickly and goes for a table, but Barrett kicks it into his face with a thud. Orton is like I have 4 nicknames and goes after Barrett as Lawler makes Roman nose jokes. A table is set up outside and they fight up the aisle where there are like 8 tables set up. Barrett sets for the pumphandle through one of them but Orton escapes. Barrett THINKS and knocks the table near him away.
Back at ringside and Orton goes into the post and then takes a boot. Barrett is busted a bit. Wade takes forever messing with tables, setting one up on the floor and sliding one into the ring. Orton moves off the table to avoid a dive so Barrett pounds on him some more. In the ring a middle rope elbow hits Orton and Barrett takes him to the apron. He hits a big boot to try to knock Randy through the table on the floor but Orton hooks the rope.
Barrett sets one up in the corner but Orton starts his comeback. Powerslam puts Wade down and there's a counter to the elevated DDT. Barrett tries a running big boot but gets caught in the ropes. He tries Wasteland on the apron but Orton elbows out of it. Now the elevated DDT hits in the ring. Barrett reverses a throw into the corner table and hits the Bossman Slam to take over. He beats on Orton a bit more and puts him on the table. Wade goes to the second turnbuckle on the inside but jumps into an RKO through the table to end this at 10:16.
The Bellas sit on Teddy's lap and debate who the good or bad sister is. Teddy gives them his number for a gift. Swagger comes in after they leave and wants to know what Teddy is going to do after Henry hit him with a chair on Friday. Teddy isn't going to do anything about it and asks Jack to sit on his lap. Sheamus comes in and I think I know where this is going. The Great White (seriously, what is up with that name?) has some Irish humor for Swagger and yep, Teddy makes the match.
Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
I have no idea if this match was announced or not. This is about the Slammys or something like that. Kelly takes over to start and I kind of wonder why she isn't Alicia, as in the girl that's been pushed lately. There's the screaming headscissors but she gets caught in a gorilla press. Beth works on the back and tries a bunch of covers for two. She goes up and misses a guillotine legdrop. K2 is countered and they botch the backflip. Glam Slam into the rollup is countered so Beth wins with something like an electric chair at 5:14.
Del Rio yells at Ricardo for not having the car or the food ready. Miz comes up and says the alliance is over after this show. Del Rio says it wasn't really an alliance in the first place. They argue over legacies and Del Rio calls him a stupid little boy. Ricardo comes up with something for Del Rio to eat and it winds up in his face.
Ad for the Rumble, which features Santino as a psychic.
Booker comes out for the IC Title match and Cody jumps him again. His head hit the barricade as Cody jumped him. Booker is ticked.
We recap HHH vs. Nash. This is about Nash getting a pop at the Rumble (11 months ago) but HHH wouldn't bring him back in. Nash did it himself and then beat up HHH.
HHH vs. Kevin Nash
This is the sledgehammer ladder match. They pound on each other to start with the power moves and head to the floor. HHH gets a ladder but gets kicked into it. Nash sets one up on the floor but HHH dives off the announce table with a clothesline to take over. Nash into the crowd now but he gets an elbow up to a charging Game. Snake Eyes onto the barricade puts HHH down and there's a one man Vinnie Vegas chant.
They head into the ring and HHH takes over, using the ladder onto the knees. Now some of the weakest ladder shots ever onto said knee. HHH wraps the ladder around Nash's legs and hooks a Figure Four in it. It's better than the one around the post at least. Nash manages to whip HHH into the ladder and out to the floor in a solid bump. Side slam onto the ladder and HHH is in trouble.
Nash puts the ladder onto the bottom rope and does the slingshot into it instead of the rope. And then the crowd goes silent for a bit. Out to the floor and Nash sets for the Jackknife through the table, but HHH backdrops him onto said table instead. HHH makes the first climb up the ladder, 13 minutes into the match. He just gets a hand on it as Nash makes the save. Remember that you have to get a pin after getting it down.
There's a chokeslam of all things and Nash goes to the floor again. He sets up a table in the ring and there goes the strap. HHH kind of spears him into the ladder and knocks him to the floor. The Game goes up but Nash is back and they slug it out on the ladder. HHH knocks the hammer into Nash's head and Nash actually goes off the ladder through the table. I didn't think he had it in him.
HHH gets the hammer down and Nash is on his feet a minute after falling that far. HHH destroys Nash with the hammer but Nash is back to his knees in a minute. The first Pedigree attempt doesn't work and the second doesn't actually involve Nash's face touching the mat. We're still not done yet though as Nash is on his knees again less than a mintue later. HHH gets the hammer and Nash flashes the Kliq sign. A hammer shot ends this at 18:12.
Nash goes out on a stretcher.
Punk says the beating on Monday was painful but it wasn't as painful as Ace taking his Slammy. Ace pops up and says he mailed the Slammy to him. They trade some verbal jabs and that's about it.
Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus
Sheamus hammers him down to start as we hear about his career as an IT guy. All Sheamus so far. Vickie yells at him so Jack can ram him into the post and then the barricade. Vader Bomb gets two in the ring. Sheamus fires back but can't get much going. Swagger goes after the leg a bit and hooks the ankle lock. When that doesn't work, the Brogue Kick ends this at 5:55.
Show says he'll win.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry
It's a chairs match, meaning they're legal. Show's singlet is now camo. Show immediately goes to the floor and throws in like ten chairs. Him just casually tossing them about ten feet in the air is scary impressive. They both have chairs now but Henry drops his and gets out. He grabs the title and says this isn't happening. Show goes after him and ducks a title shot so he can wear Henry out with chair shots.
They start slugging it out and Henry cracks him with a chair. Henry goes after the hand so that Show can't use his two finishers. Show tries to come back but his hand is worthless. Henry makes a pile of chairs but the Slam is broken up. He goes for a chair shot but Show fires off the big punch. AND IT GETS THE PIN AT 5:35????? REALLY?????
Post match Henry hits him with a DDT on the chairs AND HERE'S BRYAN!!! HE WINS THE TITLE!!!!! Cole is STUNNED. Bryan Danielson and CM Punk are currently the world champions in WWE and might be at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.
Booker says he's going to try to compete tonight and he looks MAD.
Intercontinental Title: Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody hammers him down to start but Booker hits a side kick and sends Cody to the floor. As they head back in, Cody gets in a shot to put Booker down. Pretty boring stuff here as they know the fans are all catching their breath at once. A double clothesline puts them both down and they slug it out a bit. Cody winds up holding onto the bottom rope and we get a Spinarooni. It makes him dizzy and the scissors kick misses. Side kick misses and the Beautiful Disaster gets two. Another one ends this at 7:15.
They actually recap the show up to this point.
Raw World Title: Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
TLC match. The heels jump Punk to start but Punk fights them off. Lawler thinks there are pins in this but Cole actually saves him, saying that Lawler is confused because this match has never happened before. He wasn't rude about it either. Punk gets double teamed and they slowly go to the floor since they don't trust each other. Miz goes after Ricardo so Del Rio hits him with a chair.
Punk dives out onto Del Rio to take over and it's him vs. Miz in the ring. Punk tries the bulldog onto the chair but Miz counters into a belly to back onto the unfolded chair. Miz goes for a ladder but Del Rio stops him, sending him into the ladder. Everyone goes to the floor now and Miz swings a chair but hits the post. Punk wears him out with that chair and Del Rio is down from a chair shot as well.
Punk puts Miz on the railing and hits the running knee, using a chair as a springboard. He sets the ladder up in the ring but Ricardo runs in and handcuffs Punk to the ladder. That's a new one. Del Rio hammers him down but the shots break the cuffs and Punk is free. Miz gets what appears to be a huge ladder and beats Punk down with it. He gets a hand on the belt but Punk saves.
They go to the corner and Del Rio hits the running enziguri to knock Punk to the floor and through a table. Del Rio throws a miniladder at Miz in the aisle and does the cross armbreaker with the ladder deal to Miz. He goes back to Punk and does the same but with a chair. He goes up but both guys make the save and crotch him on the top rope. Ricardo goes up and Punk knocks him off the top through a table on the floor.
Miz manages to cuff Punk to the ropes and the champ panics. Miz of course taunts him instead of going up and Punk fires off a kick to the head. Del Rio has a ladder up and Punk tries to kick the ring apart. Miz has a bigger ladder as Punk continues his straightedge tool work. Eventually he gets free and Punk destroys them all. Miz makes the save and I really thought that was it. GTS to Miz and that's enough for Punk to retain at 18:25.
Results
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
Air Boom b. Primo/Epico Trouble in Paradise to Primo
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett Orton put Barrett through a table
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Electric Chair
HHH b. Kevin Nash Pedigree
Big Show b. Mark Henry WMD
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show Pin after a DDT onto a pile of chairs
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
CM Punk b. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio Punk pulled down the title
Quick Results
Raw
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Tribute to the Troops 2011
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry AA to Henry
NXT
Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Rollup to Hawkins
Jey Uso b. JTG Superkick
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Falcon's Arrow
Impact Wrestling
Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles went to a time limit draw
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles Single Leg Half Crab
Scott Steiner/Abyss b. Robbie T/Hernandez Black Hole Slam to Robbie T
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nees 450 Splash
Jesse Neal b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Douglas Williams/Robbie E MuscleBuster to Williams
Madison Rayne b. Traci Brooks Kick to the head
Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray Twist of Fate
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Cross Rhodes
Alicia Fox b. Natalya Small Package
Epico/Primo b. Usos Backstabber to Jey
Big Show b. Jack Swagger WMD
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal Brogue Kick
Randy Orton/Zack Ryder b. Wade Barrett/Dolph Ziggler RKO to Ziggler
TLC 2011
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
Air Boom b. Primo/Epico Trouble in Paradise to Primo
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett Orton put Barrett through a table
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Electric Chair
HHH b. Kevin Nash Pedigree
Big Show b. Mark Henry WMD
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show Pin after a DDT onto a pile of chairs
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
CM Punk b. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio Punk pulled down the title
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
So we're done with the Final show and we're off to the Genesis, or beginning, show. There's a Doc Brown joke in there somewhere. Anyway, Hardy vs. Roode is set as the main event and I can't help but think Roode is in severe danger of being a transitional champion. From what I've heard, tonight we begin a wild card (as in random draw) tag team tournament to find new #1 contenders, because the tag division is somehow worse than WWE's at the moment. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event of the PPV Sunday here Roode ran around at the end to run out the clock. The video has a soundbyte from Sting, saying we're going to open the show with a five minute overtime. Ok then.
TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode
AJ speeds things up immediately and tries to get a fast pin. They hit the mat and it's still pretty fast paced. Rollup gets two and we have three minutes left. All AJ so far. Roode gets in a shot to the knee but can't wrap it around the post. Two minutes left. AJ keeps trying for pins but the champ keeps running. He hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT with a minute to go. Roode pokes him in the eye and hits the floor, where he's able to run around well enough so that the Pele that AJ hits isn't enough for the pin so the time runs out at 5:00.
Sting comes out and says we're going until there's a winner. Roode hits AJ in the knee and puts on a one legged Liontamer to end this in less than 30 seconds.
Roode says he's awesome and bring on Jeff Hardy.
Wild Card Tag Tournament First Round: Robbie T/Hernandez vs. Abyss/Scott Steiner
And remember: these teams are RANDOM. Pay no attention to the rivals being partners. Hernandez vs. Papa Pump starts us off. Steiner takes over and hits the suplexes into the push-ups. Rob comes in and throws Steiner around for a few seconds but that's about all he's trusted with so it's off to Hernandez and Abyss. Abyss cleans house and hits the Black Hole Slam on Robbie but slowly tags in Steiner for the pin at 4:10.
Angle says he's going to take care of Sting.
Here's Kurt who demands Sting come out here. Angle talks about Storm and demands a rematch, threatening Sting with violence if he doesn't get it. Sting says no because Angle has had two chances and it's time for Storm to go after Roode. Angle threatens to go to Storm's hometown and beat up the whole city. That's a new one.
Anthony Nees vs. Zema Ion
There's going to be a best of three series between these two for a shot at Aries at Genesis. I barely remember this Nees guy but I guess that's enough for him to be up for the #1 contender spot. They speed things up to start and I have no idea who is supposed to be the heel here or if there is one. Nees sends him to the floor and comes back in with a springboard Lionsault for two.
Flip dive to the floor and a springboard forearm gets two. Back in and Ion can't get anything going at all. This is really just an exhibition by Nees. Ion hits a missile dropkick and a nipup dropkick for two as he pulls Needs up. Ok so Ion is the heel I guess. A modified facebuster gets two but he pulls Nees up again. A 450 ends this at 4:00.
The Jarretts get here and argue over who is going to retire.
Zema says he's pretty and he took the chances tonight. It's all about me, himself, and Ion now. Oh for corn's sake.
Gunner gets fired up by Flair.
Jesse Neal vs. Gunner
Gunner beats him down to start and I don't think this is going to last long. They go to the floor and Gunner shoves Hebner for the DQ at 1:40. Neal takes a DDT on the exposed concrete. I think he's done with the company and this is writing him off TV.
Karen flirts with Sting to try to keep her job. Sting implies everything is cool and Karen leaves happy. Sting says poor Jeff.
Here's Hardy who says he's hurt but he's going to Genesis as the #1 contender. Cue Ray who says Hardy is the kind of guy who sit around and Tweets to his fans. They're fighting tonight and Ray says he knows Hardy almost as well as anyone. Ray talks about Hardy no showing a PPV which let Ray take Hardy's spot in Immortal.
Joe tells Magnus to stay out of his way tonight. They're partners in the tournament. Magnus tells Joe to get out of his face.
Wild Cart Tag Tournament First Round: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Douglas Williams/Robbie E
The Brits, still called a team here, explode for a bit until Douglas takes over. The idea here is they're trying to keep Joe out because they can't stop him. Robbie comes in with a middle rope fist drop. Magnus takes over on him and it's back to Magnus. Rolling Chaos fails and here's Joe. He cleans house and has some decent team work with Magnus as Robbie appears to leave after taking a middle rope elbow. Williams goes up and gets crotched, allowing the MuscleBuster to end this at 3:50.
Jeff Jarrett basically says fire Karen to Sting, which is the opposite of what Karen said earlier. Interesting.
Eric Young talks about how he's been told to find his partner here in the back. It's ODB.
Here's D-Von and he calls out Pope. Cue Pope with D-Von's kids. D-Von says those are his boys and he's been there for them since they were born. He put food on their table and clothes on their backs. He's going to train them the way he's going to train them and that's that. Pope talks about how the boys want someone cool to train them, not a boring guy like D-Von. D-Von goes to leave and Pope says that's what your wife did. He implies sex with D-Von's ex and D-Von half kills him. Pope gets in a low blow and D-Von's kids help in with the beatdown, putting on Pope glasses. Pope shouts that they're his now.
Jeff lies to Karen about who he said should be fired. Sting wants to see them both at once.
Traci Brooks vs. Madison Rayne
Traci charges at Madison on the top of the ramp and beats her down to start. There's the bell. Madison takes over once we get back in the ring and the announcers talk about Traci's double D's. Madison screams a lot and does nothing really worth talking about. Traci fights back and the crowd politely applauds. Rayne Drop gets two. A hard kick to the side of the head is enough for the pin at 3:51.
The Jarretts have their meeting with Sting and their stories seem to not line up that well. They both deny it and Sting has footage. The Jarretts argue a lot and it's like 10:54 and the main event entrances haven't even started yet. Sting's look standing in the back at this is hilarious. He fires them both.
Roode comes out for commentary.
Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray
After the big match intros, the bell rings at 10:59. Ray jumps him during the shirt toss and works on the ribs that are still hurt from the cage match. Tree of Woe doesn't go well for Jeff. Off to a bearhug and he even gets a few two counts off of it. A Vader Bomb misses and Jeff gets in his first offense. Bubba Bomb is countered into the Twist of Fate for two. Side slam gets two for Ray. A second Twist ends this at 4:44.
Roode jumps Hardy post match and Ray helps put him through a table. Sting comes out for the save and is beaten down too.
Results
Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles went to a time limit draw
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles Single Leg Half Crab
Scott Steiner/Abyss b. Robbie T/Hernandez Black Hole Slam to Robbie T
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nees 450 Splash
Jesse Neal b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Douglas Williams/Robbie E MuscleBuster to Williams
Madison Rayne b. Traci Brooks Kick to the head
Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray Twist of Fate
Friday
Smackdown got a 1.1
Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
It's the final show before TLC and I'm only kind of looking forward to the show. I don't know if it's the lack of anything resembling an awesome heel or what, but I can't get fired up for this show at all. It's not just me as I've heard that WWE is expecting it to do awful business. Either way, this should be an ok show as Smackdown is almost guaranteed to be anymore. Let's get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is the global warming due to it being in the fifties in the middle of December.
Big Show faces Jack Swagger tonight. Is there a reason for that? Was Long mad at Henry or something? Also Barrett/Ziggler vs. Ryder/Orton.
We open with Booker T being brought out to be interviewed by Josh. Booker asks the fans if he looks ready. He was ready to become a commentator but Cody had to make things physical. Booker refuses to become a legitimizer for Cody. He hasn't thought about returning to the ring full time, but he'll cross that bridge when he wins the title. Cue Cody who says that on Sunday we might see some nostalgia and maybe even a rush of offense that makes people say Booker is back.
If it was a movie, Booker would win and Cody would leave in disgrace. But this isn't a movie. What's going to happen when Booker's legs give out and Booker falls to Cody? Booker wants to know how Cody feels about the reality of him beating Cody up right now. Cody is facing Bryan tonight and if Booker interferes again, he'll lose his title match and Cody will work to get him suspended. Booker needs to get out of the ring so Cody can show him how legitimate he already is, sucka. Great promo from Cody.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
Booker gets in on commentary and Bryan still has bad ribs. Booker even apologizes for interfering in the previous two matches. Bryan goes for a quick LeBell Lock but Cody hits the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan holding a headlock. Here's a surfboard attempt but Bryan just rams Cody's knees into the mat instead. To the apron and Cody suplexes Bryan to the floor in a good looking bump.
Cody works on the bad ribs as Cole runs down Booker. Booker says he'll defend the title if he wins it, implying he'll be back full time. Bryan gets in some kicks but Cody takes him down again for two. Bryan gets some rollups for some far falls. He hits something for two but we had the camera on Booker instead of the ring so I have no idea what he used.
Here are the kicks in the corner but Cody gets a foot up to break up the charge. Bryan tries a belly to back superplex but Cody floats on top for two. The ribs on Bryan are starting to take their toll on his offense as they exchange rollups into the Cross Rhodes for the pin for Cody at 5:46 shown of 9:16.
Alicia Fox vs. Natalya
Nattie brings out the tissues which isn't working as well as the screaming CRY at other Divas. Josh tells us that Kelly, Eve and Alicia will be blogging for Perez Hilton. I'm trying to care even less than I do and it's just not working. Natalya works on the ribs but Alicia gets a small package for the pin at 1:01. Correction: I've found something I care about even less than the Hilton thing.
Alicia pulled some of the extensions out of Natalya's hair. Alicia says she just got out foxed. Oh geez. Natalya charges in post match so Alicia tries a spinning legdrop, hitting Natalya right on the forehead. And she's going to get pushed isn't she?
We look at the video of the nominees for Pipe Bomb of the Year. At least this was funny.
Swagger says he'll win tonight. Henry comes up and says if Swagger hurts Big Show, he'll get a title shot. Swagger says he'll hurt Big Show, but for himself, not for Henry. He says Henry is losing on Sunday and that he'll win the title in the future. He really is sounding more like a face every week, which would be the best thing that could happen to him.
Usos vs. Primo/Epico
When I say the Usos should be on TV more, I don't mean jobbing to the latest Hispanic team. At least I get my Siva Tao and to look at Rosa Mendes. So is Hunico gone? The Usos take over on Epico to start and Booker says the Usos remind him of Harlem Heat. Off to Primo who hammers on I believe Jey. After a chinlock he fights back and Booker says he's not in his own Fave Five. Everything breaks down and Jey hits a superkick to Primo. He loads up the splash but Rosa distracts him, allowing a Backstabber to get the pin at 2:59. This was fine.
To hype up Swagger vs. Show, they show a clip of a match from July of 2010. Seriously?
Jack Swagger vs. Big Show
Swagger even does the push-ups so you know he's serious. Almost immediately Henry comes out with a chair in hand. Swagger tries to jump Big Show but it doesn't work that well for him. Jack takes out the leg but it doesn't exactly last that long. After a brief beating on the floor, Show chops away in the corner. Henry is sitting in the aisle in the chair.
All Big Show here as this is more of an exhibition for Henry than anything else. Notice something Big Show does here: the telling the crowd to be silent for the chops. The chop gets a big pop for that and a part of that is due to him talking to the crowd. Think back to guys like Hogan, Sting, Austin, Rock, Flair etc. They all got huge reactions and they all directly talked to the crowd, be it through shouting at them, talking to fans in the front row, asking their approval for something etc. It's an old standard and it still works today. Fans like being involved in the show, even in tiny ways like that.
Swagger gets in a shoulder to the knee and the Vader Bomb gets no cover. The second one gets two but Show fires him off like he's nothing. Show starts his comeback despite barely being in trouble. Swagger rolls through the chokeslam into the ankle lock and Show is in trouble. After being in the hold over 30 seconds, Show kicks him off, pops up and kills Swagger dead with the WMD at 5:47.
Henry blasts Swagger and a production guy with the chair post match.
Ryder comes up to Orton in the back and wants to know if they're on the same page. Orton says no. Same book? Maybe. Ryder is very happy for that and fist pumps. He leaves and Orton almost looks disturbed. Funny segment and it only lasted like 20 seconds.
Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater
Cole rants about the DiBiase Posse stuff before the match. I'd go to one of those if there was a show in Lexington. Slater slaps him in the face and DiBiase goes off, sending him to the floor and hammering away. Slater takes over back in the ring and hits a forearm off the top for two. He comes off the middle rope and jumps into an atomic drop. The following clothesline leads to Dream Street for the pin at 3:09.
Mahal comes in and beats down DiBiase post match. Since he's Indian he uses a camel clutch. Teddy comes out and says break it up. If Mahal wants a match, he can fight Sheamus.
Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus
Very nice pop for Sheamus. Sheamus works on the arm to start until Mahal pounds away on him a bit. Sheamus is like screw that and hits a big elbow to put Jinder back down. The forearms to the chest don't work and we get a chase scene on the floor. Now the forearms hit but with Sheamus on the apron instead of in the ring. Slingshot shoulder gets two. Cole says Mahal kind of floats. Odd description but ok then. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Mahal and he hooks a chinlock. Sheamus wakes up and hits his signature stuff and the Brogue Kick is good for the win at 3:50.
Video on the Slammys eat up some time. Cole won another from WWE.com for Most Regrettable Ring Attire for when he dressed as HHH.
Video on HHH vs. Nash which is happening for some reason that we're still waiting on. I know the storyline but why is this match happening period? Nash isn't going to be anything full time (for the love of all things good and holy I hope not at least) and HHH is probably going to face Taker at Mania given what he said on Monday, so I don't get the point in these two having a featured match on Sunday. I guess it's because he's HHH.
Randy Orton/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Wade Barrett
No complaints about putting two feuds together into one match. A second coming video interrupts Orton's entrance. I've heard a few answers for this and one is more interesting than the other. It'll likely be Jericho though. Ziggler vs. Ryder starts us off. Ryder takes over with punches and a flapjack. Off to Orton who slows things way down and does the Garvin Stomp.
Back to Ryder who Ziggler beats up so he can't tag in Orton again to bore us to tears. Now Barrett comes in to beat up Ryder for awhile. Orton gets a tag so Barrett bails quickly. We're waiting on the big showdown between them here. Orton focuses on Barrett too much though and Ziggler gets in a shot to take over. The backbreaker is broken up so Ryder comes in to send Ziggler to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Orton pounding Ziggler in the corner. The jumping knee drop gets two. Ziggler gets in a single shot and falls into the corner so Barrett can come in. A big boot puts Barrett down and Orton is in trouble. Ziggler hammers on him and gets two. Orton gets a belly to back suplex on Barrett and there's the moderately hot tag to Ryder. Ryder gets the knee up in the corner and the Broski Boot (BIG pop for the fist pump) but Ziggler breaks up the Rough Ryder.
Ziggler kicks out of a rollup and hooks a half crab on Ryder. Back to Barrett for a chinlock. They're going through the motions very badly here. It's not a bad match but it's as basic of a tag match as it could possibly be. Wasteland is countered into a DDT to put both guys down. There's the real hot tag to Orton who cleans house. Snap powerslam puts Ziggy down as does the over the shoulder neckbreaker. Ryder and Barrett go to the floor and Ziggler misses the Fameasser so the RKO can end him at 11:53 shown of 15:23.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Cross Rhodes
Alicia Fox b. Natalya Small Package
Epico/Primo b. Usos Backstabber to Jey
Big Show b. Jack Swagger WMD
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal Brogue Kick
Randy Orton/Zack Ryder b. Wade Barrett/Dolph Ziggler RKO to Ziggler
Saturday
Nothing today.
Sunday
Tables Ladders and Chairs 2011
Date: December 18, 2011
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
This is the final PPV of the year for 2011 and I'm really not all that thrilled by it. The main event isn't really clear, as there are a few matches that could go on last. It could be either of the world title matches or the ladder match with HHH vs. Nash. Surprisingly enough, there's no Cena match on here to speak of. Also, hopefully, Ryder finally gets his US Title tonight. Let's get to it.
Basic video, talking about choosing your weapon.
Vickie introduces Dolph.
US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler
Battle of the Z's here. Ziggler has on blue trunks and they're really not working for him. Ryder controls early on and is pretty fired up here. The champ gets control quickly though, hitting a DDT onto the apron. Ziggler drops a bunch (as in like ten) elbows on Ryder but they only get two. Off to a chinlock and the fans chant Let's go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo. Ziggler uses Ryder's body to brace himself for situps.
And now let's start talking about Twitter. Ryder fights back but gets caught in an Angle Slam for two. Ryder comes back and hits a missile dropkick from the middle rope for two. Here's his comeback and the Broski Boot hits. Vickie puts Ziggler's foot on the ropes and gets ejected for it. They trade rollups and Ziggler tries two Fameassers, one of which hits. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. He goes up and gets crotched, allowing Ryder to bust out a top rope rana for two. I love how his arms fly up in the air on every cover.
Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot into the post for two. The fans are still cheering for Ryder as they were earlier. Out of nowhere, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder and WINS THE TITLE at 10:25. The camera immediately cuts to Ryder's dad in the crowd which is a really nice touch. They treated this like a really big moment, which it was.
Booker is getting ready in the back when Cody jumps him and beats him down. Booker says he's ok and looks all ticked off.
Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Epico/Primo
Epico vs. Bourne gets us started. They trade near falls for a little while and it's off to Kofi. All champions so far. More near falls for the champions and the heels finally start double teaming Bourne. Rosa keeps shouting in Spanish because that's what evil Hispanics do. Epico busts out some rolling belly to backs for two. How has this match been going five minutes already?
You would think a match with Kofi Kingston as the biggest guy would go a little faster. Gory Stretch by Epico is countered into a sunset flip for two. Hot tag finally brings in Kofi who hits every Puerto Rican in blue in sight. Boom Drop to Primo sets up Trouble in Paradise but he settles for a springboard crossbody instead. Everything breaks down and Bourne dives to the floor to take out Epico. Trouble in Paradise hits in the ring and they keep the titles at 7:32.
Josh has no update on Booker but Cody was very happy a few seconds ago, so the match may be off. That's not official though.
Teddy Long is in the back as Santa and Horny is his depressed elf. He finally points out that he's an adult and asks why there's a black Santa. Teddy: In my neighborhood, no fat jolly white man would ever come down my chimney. Teddy gives Horny a gift: Rosetta Stone Ebonics. Horny kicks Santa in the shin.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
This is a tables match. Orton takes over quickly and goes for a table, but Barrett kicks it into his face with a thud. Orton is like I have 4 nicknames and goes after Barrett as Lawler makes Roman nose jokes. A table is set up outside and they fight up the aisle where there are like 8 tables set up. Barrett sets for the pumphandle through one of them but Orton escapes. Barrett THINKS and knocks the table near him away.
Back at ringside and Orton goes into the post and then takes a boot. Barrett is busted a bit. Wade takes forever messing with tables, setting one up on the floor and sliding one into the ring. Orton moves off the table to avoid a dive so Barrett pounds on him some more. In the ring a middle rope elbow hits Orton and Barrett takes him to the apron. He hits a big boot to try to knock Randy through the table on the floor but Orton hooks the rope.
Barrett sets one up in the corner but Orton starts his comeback. Powerslam puts Wade down and there's a counter to the elevated DDT. Barrett tries a running big boot but gets caught in the ropes. He tries Wasteland on the apron but Orton elbows out of it. Now the elevated DDT hits in the ring. Barrett reverses a throw into the corner table and hits the Bossman Slam to take over. He beats on Orton a bit more and puts him on the table. Wade goes to the second turnbuckle on the inside but jumps into an RKO through the table to end this at 10:16.
The Bellas sit on Teddy's lap and debate who the good or bad sister is. Teddy gives them his number for a gift. Swagger comes in after they leave and wants to know what Teddy is going to do after Henry hit him with a chair on Friday. Teddy isn't going to do anything about it and asks Jack to sit on his lap. Sheamus comes in and I think I know where this is going. The Great White (seriously, what is up with that name?) has some Irish humor for Swagger and yep, Teddy makes the match.
Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
I have no idea if this match was announced or not. This is about the Slammys or something like that. Kelly takes over to start and I kind of wonder why she isn't Alicia, as in the girl that's been pushed lately. There's the screaming headscissors but she gets caught in a gorilla press. Beth works on the back and tries a bunch of covers for two. She goes up and misses a guillotine legdrop. K2 is countered and they botch the backflip. Glam Slam into the rollup is countered so Beth wins with something like an electric chair at 5:14.
Del Rio yells at Ricardo for not having the car or the food ready. Miz comes up and says the alliance is over after this show. Del Rio says it wasn't really an alliance in the first place. They argue over legacies and Del Rio calls him a stupid little boy. Ricardo comes up with something for Del Rio to eat and it winds up in his face.
Ad for the Rumble, which features Santino as a psychic.
Booker comes out for the IC Title match and Cody jumps him again. His head hit the barricade as Cody jumped him. Booker is ticked.
We recap HHH vs. Nash. This is about Nash getting a pop at the Rumble (11 months ago) but HHH wouldn't bring him back in. Nash did it himself and then beat up HHH.
HHH vs. Kevin Nash
This is the sledgehammer ladder match. They pound on each other to start with the power moves and head to the floor. HHH gets a ladder but gets kicked into it. Nash sets one up on the floor but HHH dives off the announce table with a clothesline to take over. Nash into the crowd now but he gets an elbow up to a charging Game. Snake Eyes onto the barricade puts HHH down and there's a one man Vinnie Vegas chant.
They head into the ring and HHH takes over, using the ladder onto the knees. Now some of the weakest ladder shots ever onto said knee. HHH wraps the ladder around Nash's legs and hooks a Figure Four in it. It's better than the one around the post at least. Nash manages to whip HHH into the ladder and out to the floor in a solid bump. Side slam onto the ladder and HHH is in trouble.
Nash puts the ladder onto the bottom rope and does the slingshot into it instead of the rope. And then the crowd goes silent for a bit. Out to the floor and Nash sets for the Jackknife through the table, but HHH backdrops him onto said table instead. HHH makes the first climb up the ladder, 13 minutes into the match. He just gets a hand on it as Nash makes the save. Remember that you have to get a pin after getting it down.
There's a chokeslam of all things and Nash goes to the floor again. He sets up a table in the ring and there goes the strap. HHH kind of spears him into the ladder and knocks him to the floor. The Game goes up but Nash is back and they slug it out on the ladder. HHH knocks the hammer into Nash's head and Nash actually goes off the ladder through the table. I didn't think he had it in him.
HHH gets the hammer down and Nash is on his feet a minute after falling that far. HHH destroys Nash with the hammer but Nash is back to his knees in a minute. The first Pedigree attempt doesn't work and the second doesn't actually involve Nash's face touching the mat. We're still not done yet though as Nash is on his knees again less than a mintue later. HHH gets the hammer and Nash flashes the Kliq sign. A hammer shot ends this at 18:12.
Nash goes out on a stretcher.
Punk says the beating on Monday was painful but it wasn't as painful as Ace taking his Slammy. Ace pops up and says he mailed the Slammy to him. They trade some verbal jabs and that's about it.
Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus
Sheamus hammers him down to start as we hear about his career as an IT guy. All Sheamus so far. Vickie yells at him so Jack can ram him into the post and then the barricade. Vader Bomb gets two in the ring. Sheamus fires back but can't get much going. Swagger goes after the leg a bit and hooks the ankle lock. When that doesn't work, the Brogue Kick ends this at 5:55.
Show says he'll win.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry
It's a chairs match, meaning they're legal. Show's singlet is now camo. Show immediately goes to the floor and throws in like ten chairs. Him just casually tossing them about ten feet in the air is scary impressive. They both have chairs now but Henry drops his and gets out. He grabs the title and says this isn't happening. Show goes after him and ducks a title shot so he can wear Henry out with chair shots.
They start slugging it out and Henry cracks him with a chair. Henry goes after the hand so that Show can't use his two finishers. Show tries to come back but his hand is worthless. Henry makes a pile of chairs but the Slam is broken up. He goes for a chair shot but Show fires off the big punch. AND IT GETS THE PIN AT 5:35????? REALLY?????
Post match Henry hits him with a DDT on the chairs AND HERE'S BRYAN!!! HE WINS THE TITLE!!!!! Cole is STUNNED. Bryan Danielson and CM Punk are currently the world champions in WWE and might be at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.
Booker says he's going to try to compete tonight and he looks MAD.
Intercontinental Title: Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody hammers him down to start but Booker hits a side kick and sends Cody to the floor. As they head back in, Cody gets in a shot to put Booker down. Pretty boring stuff here as they know the fans are all catching their breath at once. A double clothesline puts them both down and they slug it out a bit. Cody winds up holding onto the bottom rope and we get a Spinarooni. It makes him dizzy and the scissors kick misses. Side kick misses and the Beautiful Disaster gets two. Another one ends this at 7:15.
They actually recap the show up to this point.
Raw World Title: Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
TLC match. The heels jump Punk to start but Punk fights them off. Lawler thinks there are pins in this but Cole actually saves him, saying that Lawler is confused because this match has never happened before. He wasn't rude about it either. Punk gets double teamed and they slowly go to the floor since they don't trust each other. Miz goes after Ricardo so Del Rio hits him with a chair.
Punk dives out onto Del Rio to take over and it's him vs. Miz in the ring. Punk tries the bulldog onto the chair but Miz counters into a belly to back onto the unfolded chair. Miz goes for a ladder but Del Rio stops him, sending him into the ladder. Everyone goes to the floor now and Miz swings a chair but hits the post. Punk wears him out with that chair and Del Rio is down from a chair shot as well.
Punk puts Miz on the railing and hits the running knee, using a chair as a springboard. He sets the ladder up in the ring but Ricardo runs in and handcuffs Punk to the ladder. That's a new one. Del Rio hammers him down but the shots break the cuffs and Punk is free. Miz gets what appears to be a huge ladder and beats Punk down with it. He gets a hand on the belt but Punk saves.
They go to the corner and Del Rio hits the running enziguri to knock Punk to the floor and through a table. Del Rio throws a miniladder at Miz in the aisle and does the cross armbreaker with the ladder deal to Miz. He goes back to Punk and does the same but with a chair. He goes up but both guys make the save and crotch him on the top rope. Ricardo goes up and Punk knocks him off the top through a table on the floor.
Miz manages to cuff Punk to the ropes and the champ panics. Miz of course taunts him instead of going up and Punk fires off a kick to the head. Del Rio has a ladder up and Punk tries to kick the ring apart. Miz has a bigger ladder as Punk continues his straightedge tool work. Eventually he gets free and Punk destroys them all. Miz makes the save and I really thought that was it. GTS to Miz and that's enough for Punk to retain at 18:25.
Results
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
Air Boom b. Primo/Epico Trouble in Paradise to Primo
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett Orton put Barrett through a table
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Electric Chair
HHH b. Kevin Nash Pedigree
Big Show b. Mark Henry WMD
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show Pin after a DDT onto a pile of chairs
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
CM Punk b. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio Punk pulled down the title
Quick Results
Raw
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Tribute to the Troops 2011
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry AA to Henry
NXT
Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Rollup to Hawkins
Jey Uso b. JTG Superkick
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Falcon's Arrow
Impact Wrestling
Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles went to a time limit draw
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles Single Leg Half Crab
Scott Steiner/Abyss b. Robbie T/Hernandez Black Hole Slam to Robbie T
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nees 450 Splash
Jesse Neal b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Douglas Williams/Robbie E MuscleBuster to Williams
Madison Rayne b. Traci Brooks Kick to the head
Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray Twist of Fate
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan Cross Rhodes
Alicia Fox b. Natalya Small Package
Epico/Primo b. Usos Backstabber to Jey
Big Show b. Jack Swagger WMD
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal Brogue Kick
Randy Orton/Zack Ryder b. Wade Barrett/Dolph Ziggler RKO to Ziggler
TLC 2011
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
Air Boom b. Primo/Epico Trouble in Paradise to Primo
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett Orton put Barrett through a table
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Electric Chair
HHH b. Kevin Nash Pedigree
Big Show b. Mark Henry WMD
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show Pin after a DDT onto a pile of chairs
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
CM Punk b. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio Punk pulled down the title