Week of 11/8/10 - 11/14/10

klunderbunker

Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday

Sabu apparently really is gone from TNA.

Smackdown got a 1.8, significantly up form last week’s 1.6.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 8, 2010
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

Yes those are the correct commentators. No idea why Lawler is gone. Ok so since I’m watching this Tuesday morning due to falling asleep, the reason is apparently he had an infection from a knee injury/surgery and had to be in the hospital to get it cleaned up. Makes as much sense as anything else would. Anyway we’re in England tonight so expect Barrett to be a huge face. Also this was taped so the show might be a bit off. Let’s get to it.

Also I avoided spoilers so this review is more or less just like watching Raw.

We open the show with Cena in the ring at a podium and reading from a scroll. Scrolls are awesome. He introduces Barrett with an overly done intro that he’s not happy to read. Looks like that Wrestlemania Reading Challenge paid off. Yep Barrett gets a big reaction but it’s not all cheering. The rest of Nexus is here too and that theme song is growing on me.

Barrett has some big old elf ears. He says he has returned to a nice pop. There’s going to be a big preview of his championship celebration tonight. A Cena chant breaks out and Barrett isn’t happy with it. We see a clip from Smackdown where Otunga brought Nexus in and lost. Barrett gets on him and says if you’re going to do that, be successful. The fans chant something that I can’t make out.

He turns his attention to Cena who gets a very mixed reaction. We see the clips of Cena refereeing fairly last week and costing the Nexus the (dull as all hell) tag match. Barrett says explain yourself. Cena says it all started as a joke at a Smackdown Thanksgiving show where he rapped and then the next thing he knew he was wearing a backwards hat and had a chain around his neck and he was invisible.

Barrett gets annoyed at Cena’s funny joke and Cena says that the explanation for last week was Nexus lost, plain and simple. Barrett says for Cena to announce what he’s going to say at Survivor Series, which is that Barrett is the new champion. Before he can here’s Orton. As he comes out, a thought occurs to me: if Cena gets fired, couldn’t they just immediately rehire him? Was that covered?

Orton knows he can beat Barrett. Wade says he has an army behind him and Orton has no one. It’s E-Mail time and the heat on Cole is INSANE. At the PPV, no disqualifications or count outs to the title match. That isn’t said but it can only be won by pin or submission. Nexus is also banned. Tonight it’s Nexus vs. Team Orton in a ten man tag. The GM will pick the members of Team Orton later. The guest referee is Cena. He kicks over the podium and shoves down Otunga before leaving.

The Divas Cup is next. Oh dear.

Divas Cup: Bella Twins/Eve Torres vs. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Maryse

They’re all in very short shorts and cut off shirts, dressed like Liverpool for the heels and Manchester United for the faces. The fans aren’t happy with the Man U stuff as apparently there are a lot of Manchester City fans. Tamina vs. Eve to start us off. Samoan Drop by Tamina as she lives up to her racial stereotypes.

Next week it’s a three hour Old School Raw. That isn’t acknowledged by the announcers but rather we’re told that on a graphic onscreen. Eve gets a kind of enziguri to put down Maryse as the fans don’t seem to care. A Bella vs. Alicia now as the Bellas look good in those shorts. Maryse gets her DDT on a Bella and they switch for the rollup win for the good girls. And there’s no cup.

Otunga is giving a speech to Nexus and is cut off by Barrett when he comes in. Barrett throws Otunga off Team Nexus tonight as he has Cena tonight instead.

Hart Dynasty vs. Usos

Do they really think we want to see this again? It’s a handicap Divas Title match at the PPV which I have to think Natalya wins as she’s beaten both girls in a big brawl already. Jimmy vs. David to start. Apparently Jimmy’s partner’s name is Jey not Jay. Kidd hits a Mysterio-esque dive to one of the Usos into a rana which was pretty freaking sweet.

Kidd gets beaten down and I could have sworn there was a three count but apparently it was only two. Smith doesn’t look happy at all. He’s on the floor arguing with Natalya actually. And so much for that as he’s there for the tag. There’s the powerslam to one of the Samoans for two as the other breaks it up. Jumping superkick kills Tyson on the floor and another one gets David. Jey ends him with a top rope splash.

Santino has invited Sheamus to a tea party later.

Striker is in the back and asks Orton who he thinks his partners will be tonight. Miz comes up and says he’s one of his partners tonight.

Back from a break and Nexus is talking until Otunga comes in and they’re not happy with his most talented person comment. He wants them to have his back tonight but Gabriel wants to know if Barrett says it’s ok. They’re not sure if they’re going to do it or not.

We recap the wedding from Tuesday which had me rolling laughing.

Goldust vs. Ted DiBiase

Goldust is ticked off at him and has to be held back before the match starts. He does his breathing thing and gets slapped into the face. We hit the floor and it’s all Goldust here. Back in the ring and Ted is pounding away. Not much of a match here but just a bunch of brawling and striking. Sweet damn this is boring.

With Goldust down, Maryse walks over and picks up the Million Dollar Title with ease. Well that was easy. Snap powerslam by Goldust gets two and Aksana bounces down to ringside and hits Maryse in the face with the belt and runs off with it. Goldust gets a quick rollup for the pin as Cole says holy confusion.

John Cena vs. David Otunga

This should be a somewhat long match as it’s the ending segment of the first hour. Otunga has a Nexus hoodie now. Nexus comes out with him, including Barrett. And so much for that as Barrett sends them away and leaves with them, making this one on one. Otunga tries to run and fails miserably at that and the fight is on.

Dropkick puts Otunga down but Cena’s shoulder is acquainted with the post so the A-List can take over. That’s a very short list as he’s just one guy. Dueling Cena chants. After a very short offense by Otunga, Cena makes the comeback, hits his sequence of moves and the FU/STF ends this. Nothing match.

After a break Otunga has a bag of ice on his neck in the back. Barrett comes in and is all ticked off at him. He says go back to Smackdown and fight Edge. If Otunga loses, he’s out of the team.

It’s time for Tea Time with Santino. He and Kozlov come out in very stereotypical British suits which look cool. I actually didn’t recognize Kozlov. Santino says they’ve been watching British TV shows and movies to get the culture down. Sheamus comes down and Santino says he has green tea, regular tea and ginger tea, getting a laugh from the crowd. He makes up for it by offering….Mr. T? Oh it’s just a picture.

Basically this turns into nothing but jokes about Sheamus being very pale. That takes several minutes though. Sheamus can’t remember why he hates Santino. Santino can’t remember either. Kozlov: He hates you because you beat him in the biggest upset in WWE history. This is a decently funny segment actually. And now Sheamus is pissed off. Santino spills tea on him and an e-mail makes the obvious match with Kozlov in the back.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

We start after a break and Santino is in street clothes. Thankfully he has his in ring gear on after it. Apparently this is common according to Cole. Marella runs and another e-mail says get in or be suspended. He gets in and gets his head kicked off. He hits Sheamus low for the DQ and then the real beating begins. Morrison comes out to prevent murder on WWE television.

Cena is watching a video on Mania and we zoom into the monitor to watch it too. It’s in Atlanta. Ok then. Barrett pops up and says do your job or never be at Mania again. That was a nice touch.

Same second generation Stand Up For WWE thing again.

Nexus vs. Team Orton

Team Orton is Orton, Miz, Daniel Bryan, R-Truth and Mark Henry. Sweet damn does no one believe in surprises anymore? Cole jumps up to hug Riley in a funny moment. Cena comes out with Nexus. After a break Bryan vs. Gabriel starts us off. What is with WWE’s obsession with ten man tags lately? Off to McGillicutty now and the good guys beat on him for awhile.

Orton throws him to Nexus and says he wants Barrett. He gets Slater instead. After a bit of Truth vs. Slater everyone comes in and Team Orton clears the ring. Otunga saunters out and we’re not sure what he’s going to do here. We take a break with Otunga staring at Barrett. Back with Truth vs. Gabriel. Truth gets to play a mini Morton but brings Henry in to scare Harris a bit.

Josh says Cruiserweight so don’t expect him on Raw EVER again. Henry misses a splash but takes down McGillicutty to get out of trouble. Bryan in again as this is rather boring. Barrett vs. Bryan now with the British dude taking over. Bryan really plays Morton as the fans want Miz. They get the Viper vs. Barrett instead and Orton takes over.

Elevated DDT to Barrett as Cena counts to five. Orton waits as long as he can which is kind of stupid as it gives Barrett more time to make the easy counter. Wasteland is reversed and Truth comes in for no apparent reason and it’s all breaking down. Otunga trying to get involved caused this apparently. Back to the title match preview and Wasteland is countered again. Cena stops Otunga and Miz drills Orton with the Skull Crushing Finale so Barrett can pin him. Cena didn’t see Miz.

Results
Bella Twins/Eve Torres b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Maryse – Small Package to Maryse
Usos b. Hart Dynasty – Top rope splash to Smith
Goldust b. Ted DiBiase – Rollup
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Sheamus b. Santino Marella via DQ when Santino hit him low
Nexus b. Team Orton – Barrett pinned Orton after a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz

Tuesday

Apparently Eric Young is done with TNA for now. Does anyone actually care?

There will be a Tribute to the Troops show this year but it’s going to be a combination of Vince, Show, Kelly and Eve in Afghanistan and some matches from a show in Texas which apparently the wrestlers are FAR happier with and I can’t say I blame them as a flight around the world is a long way.

NXT
Date: November 9, 2010
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’re down to four now which is probably a very good thing. Based on what I can find, the season ends on 11/30 so we have only four episodes left. That being said, I’m not expecting much tonight. Last week’s show was very fun although with things being back to normal I wouldn’t expect something as interesting this week. Let’s get to it.

Striker tries to bring out the girls but here comes Goldust. Aksana won’t answer his phone calls and all he wants is an explanation. She comes out with the Million Dollar Belt. Goldust says they knew they didn’t love each other but he didn’t understand why it happened last week. In short, it’s all about Aksana and she gets half of everything, including the value of the title.

She starts a USA chant in England. Goldust calls her a conniving witch and says she isn’t very smart because they’re not in American. They’re in Europe so they’re on her turf actually. Since they’re not in America they can have her thrown out of England. I have no idea if that makes sense or not but it sounds kind of stupid.

Naomi comes out and yells at Aksana about how she’s a gold digger and all that jazz. Naomi challenges her to a match tonight. In a funny moment, she asks her pro, Goldust, for advice. The comedy here is really low level but for some reason I’m liking it. He tells her to get in the ring and get her butt kicked.

Mania is coming to Atlanta. They haven’t changed that.

The girls are in the ring now and it’s an arm wrestling competition. Elimination next week. Why don’t’ they just say they’re rigging it for Naomi here? AJ vs. Aksana is first and the blonde wins with ease. Kaitlyn vs. Naomi is of course domination as well.

What is a surprise is that Kaitlyn wins like it’s nothing. That’s rather surprising. Aksana starts losing so she pulls Kaitlyn’s hair a few times for the DQ so Kaitlyn wins. She looks good in the hat. Cole slept through this in a funny addition.

Nikki Bella vs. AJ

We recap the twin magic stuff that the Bellas do. Nikki is the evil Bella so far and she keeps the whole aggressive thing going here. AJ has had nothing so far. Josh and Cole continue to be the best part about this show by far. AJ has nothing here. The PA system goes off and something is said about a database being updated. I thought something was going on with my computer.

Nikki might have hurt her knee. AJ has had maybe 4 kicks in this whole match. Primo says he’s been watching the whole time. The announcers aren’t sure if they switched or not. Either way AJ gets a rollup to win it. I forgot to check the time but it was roughly 4:00 long.

Stand Up For WWE which is about the current superstars and how good the people are.

Kane vs. Big Show on Friday.

Survivor Series ad which is almost all about Orton vs. Barrett and the Cena issue, which is fine as that’s the biggest match by far.

The next competition is looking at high school pictures of wrestlers and the air horns are back. Most of these are really easy until we get to Jerry Lawler whose picture is in black and white. The last one is Mark Henry who looks like he does now. AJ and Kaitlyn tie at two and Naomi gets one. They have a tiebreaker which is John Morrison who is easy again. AJ wins after they fight for who gets to say the name. This was far better.

BEHIND THE SCENES OF KNUCKLEHEAD!!! Screw Inception, screw Legendary. THIS is your Oscar winner right here, hands down.

There’s a new Cena DVD which is more about the man outside the ring. Oh and there are matches too. One thing I do like about WWE is how fast their DVDs come out. This is the first official reference I’ve heard of it and it comes out in a week. That’s fast.

We recap, as in see again, the Ziggler/Kaitlyn/Vickie thing from last week where Big Dick Johnson hit her with a cake by accident. We also see Kaitlyn vs. Vickie from Smackdown meaning we get to see Kaitlyn in those awesome shorts of her. Vickie comes up to her in the back and both say Dolph is leaving Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn says Vickie has a big ass and gets slammed into a table. Kind of pointless but Kaitlyn gets hotter every week.

Naomi vs. Aksana

Cole: “This feud has been going on for nearly FORTY FIVE MINUTES!” He’s having a blast with this and it’s coming out in his performance. We go to a break after Naomi comes out and we get an Old School Raw ad. This would be so much better if the old school stars they’re talking about were active competitors or anywhere near their primes when Raw debuted.

Goldust comes out to be in Aksana’s corner which she seems fine with. Ok never mind as he’s in Naomi’s corner. Naomi beats on her for the most part and then actually gets beaten down. The more interesting thing here is Josh saying Cole goes into the locker room and says that Cole is just a character and that he’s fed all of his lines. That’s not something you hear often.

Cole keeps referencing a friend named Paul. I wonder who that could mean. Aksana is getting more offense in here than she ever has I think. A spinwheel kick gets one for Naomi. After some more basically uninteresting stuff, Naomi hits a leg lariat out of nowhere for the pin in about 5:30.

Results
Kaitlyn won an arm wrestling competition
AJ b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
AJ won a Guess the Superstar challenge
Naomi b. Aksana – Leg Lariat

Wednesday

Kevin Nash resigned with TNA. I can’t say I’m really surprised.

Thursday

Lacey Von Erich has quit TNA. Eh not a huge loss. As hot as she is there are a ton of people that would give her a job doing something.

Impact
Date: November 11, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: Night of the Immortals

Well after Turning Point I have no idea where they’re supposed to go other than to the same exact places they’ve been before. Hardy is still champion, Immortal and Fourtune are still running everything, and everything is working exactly the same as it was just a few weeks ago after BFG. The only difference is that less people are watching and the fans are less enthusiastic. I’m not looking forward to this but this is what I do so let’s get to it.

And here’s Immortal to new music which sounds like a bad country/rock song. Fourtune is here too. They bring a trashcan for some reason. Eric says Turning Point was great and he’s going to start with Abyss who apparently was behind the buying of the Congregation. Ok then. Eric says that we saw an MMA clinic at the PPV by Jarrett. Oh I’m not liking where this is going.

Flair says nothing of note. AJ says they got rid of Sabu and they’re happy with it. Tonight it’s Richards vs. AJ. They bring out Hardy who is in a tie. Wow indeed. He says something about Morgan and it makes no sense. The fans chant overrated. Hardy says he has sipped from the cup of Hulkamania and is therefore Immortal. I give up.

Hogan is amazingly enough here for a change. He has the five o’clock shadow thing going again so you know he’s a heel here. The fans cheer him of course so the whole THEY’RE EVIL thing means nothing here. Hogan insisted on having Flair here apparently. He thanks Flair for helping which he was gone and has a surprise for Jeff.

From the roof lowers the new TNA World Title belt which is ugly as all hell. It looks like it has a mask on the front of it and is purple. He says if anyone wants to challenge Immortal they need to pray. Cue Pope’s music and he’s in the crowd. He gets way too emotional and is going to put Eric in a casket tonight.

Joe pops up in the crowd also and Jarrett says bring it on. He makes fun of the MMA thing Jarrett talked about and said bring it on tonight. Oh and something about Gunner and Murphy. RVD comes out by the announce table and wants Hardy tonight. Morgan comes out to the main stage and says HE wants a title shot. He says he exposed Hardy at Turning Point and will expose that ass again tonight. Please there are children present. Nothing special here as Hogan says be careful what you wish for.

Back from a break, Hogan and Flair and Bischoff are in the back and say that everyone wants to be Immortal. Flair says they don’t get old but they get great. That’s true actually as Flair officially predates history. Hogan throws out Joe vs. Gunner/Murphy and RVD vs. Kaz where if RVD wins he’s #1 contender. Morgan vs. Beer Money and Williams.

Robbie and Cookie are slightly arguing. Apparently they have a mixed tag tonight. Apparently it’s now.

Cookie/Robbie E vs. Jay Lethal/Taylor Wilde

Wilde is a tag champion here since you probably forgot that. Cookie isn’t happy about this in the slightest. She looks good though. And let’s have a break so we don’t have wrestling in the first 35 minutes. Ah there we go and Shore stalls immediately. I thought they were from Jersey, not Memphis. Cookie won’t do much as Wilde wants to fight.

More heel stalling as Cookie doesn’t want to fight so she tells Robbie to do it himself. Wilde comes in which means that Cookie has to come in too. And then Cookie literally runs around before tagging out. Back to the guys now and Lethal gets to show off a bit. Basically this is a glorified comedy match. Heel miscommunication sets up the Lethal Combination on Robbie but Cookie stops the cover. Robbie gets a shot with Cookie’s boot to Lethal to end this.

We recap the Dudleys’ career. They’re up next.

Here’s Team 3D to say goodbye. I’ll put the heel turn time at 3 minutes and I’ll take slightly under. The fans don’t want them to go. Ray talks about how great it is to get to leave after facing the Guns and how proud they are. Yep he’s the heel here. They say they’re going to have fun after they retire and hug it out. And of course Bubba blasts D-Von in a SHOCKING, yes SHOCKING I say, display.

Back and Bischoff talks to the referees about some punk kid referee that happens to be Bischoff’s son (not mentioned). He can’t keep a straight face so they put the camera on Eric’s hands. The referee says he was wrong and Morgan should be champion. Morgan comes in and says make him the referee in the handicap match tonight.

Gunner/Murphy vs. Samoa Joe

The guards beat on Joe to start as they have to tag in and out. Muscle Buster to Murphy and it’s over in 85 seconds. Gunner gets beaten up too. Jarrett comes in to beat up Joe with the nightstick. Oh and the long choke on Gunner is no sold. A fan runs in and he happens to be bald and be one of the best amateur wrestlers in American history. He saves Jarrett and all the people know his name.

We apologize for having that wrestling interrupt our talking. Flair says Gunner, Murphy and Angle are dead men. Abyss goes to guard Eric as he heads to the bathroom.

After a break in said bathroom, Pope punches Bischoff and beats up Abyss.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kazarian

Kaz jumps him as he poses on the ropes and it’s on fast. Big old monkey flip sends Kaz down. RVD accidently takes down the referee with a cross body and here comes Flair, chair in hand. Rhyno, whose contract has apparently expired, comes out and turns heel, goring RVD and putting Kaz on top for the pin. No rating again due to the vast majority being Rhyno standing around.

Dreamer comes out to yell at Rhyno and like an idiot turns his back on Rhyno who pops him with a chair.

Pope continues to torment Bischoff and puts a Pope skull cap and sunglasses on him and tells him to rap. This is getting very creepy.

Hogan yells at Abyss who is assigned to go find Eric.

Legends Title: Stevie Richards vs. AJ Styles

Richards jumps AJ in the aisle and it’s on. No bell yet. They go to a break before it starts. The bell rings after apparently 5 minutes of fighting. Would it have killed them to ring the bell before we left so they could argue they had five extra minutes of wrestling there? AJ destroys him for the most part as Stevie is trying but he’s not in AJ’s league.

The springboard forearm eats Stevie Kick for two as his foot gets to the rope. Apparently AJ renamed the TV Title in tribute to Flair. As in the guy that was TV Champion in the 70s. They botch a powebomb adnt eh Styles Clash is botched to hell and back as Stevie lands on his head in a SCARY bump to end it.

Pope is STILL beating up Bischoff, throwing him in a casket. And Abyss can’t find these guys HOW?

Back from a break Pope wheels the casket out to the arena. Nice place to hide wouldn’t you think? Abyss of course comes out to beat on him and tries to get to Bischoff but Pope comes back. Here’s your brawl for the week. Eric gets out to low blow Pope and put him in the casket. They ram it into the stage.

Fourtune/Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan

The heels jump him to start and apparently they don’t have to tag here even though Gunner and Murphy did. Ok so they do have to tag and it’s Williams to start. Heel chicanery allows a lot of knee work to be done. Storm uses a figure four and here’s Eric to yell on commentary about Pope. He wants Morgan to win or he never gets a shot at Hardy.

Morgan makes the comeback and Mike talks Eric into saying if Morgan wins he gets a title shot. He suplexes Beer Money and we head to ReAction. We open the NEW SHOW with Morgan popping Flair. Beer Money and Flair just leave so Williams takes the Carbon Footprint to end it and give Morgan the title shot.

Hardy pops up and talks about true power before popping up behind him and kicking him in the balls. Twist of Hate and Swanton don’t end the show because this is another show.

Results
Robbie E/Cookie b. Taylor Wilde/Jay Lethal – Pin on Lethal after a shot with Cookie’s boot
Samoa Joe b. Gunner/Murphy – Muscle Buster to Murphy
Kazarian b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after a Gore from Rhyno
AJ Styles b. Stevie Richards – Styles Clash
Matt Morgan b. Beer Money/Douglas Williams – Carbon Footprint to Williams

Friday

Eric Young is already back with TNA. I’m shocked too.

Smackdown
Date: November 12, 2010
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

Still in England here and the big matches tonight seem to be Edge vs. Otunga, Show vs. Kane and the IC Title match between MVP and Dolph Ziggler which I think might be the token title change for the live crowd. We need to actually start building some stuff to Survivor Series as I think we only have three matches unless I’m missing something. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Barrett telling Otunga that if he loses to Edge tonight he’s off the team.

Cue Green Day.

Here’s Edge who I definitely like much better as a face. He says he’s a busy guy and that he hopes everyone has their tickets for Mania because he’s walking in as the World Heavyweight Champion. Tonight it’s about David Otunga though. Here’s Nexus sans Barrett who is with the Raw guys. They surround the ring but here’s…Vickie?

Teddy apparently has had customs issues so she’s in charge. If any Nexus guys come in then Otunga automatically loses and is “excommunicated” from Nexus. Think that’s overkill much? Vickie runs down the card for the night because that hasn’t been done enough I guess. Nexus gets to be lumberjacks along with the rest of the Smackdown roster. What is with the obsession with lumberjack matches recently?

Vickie makes them shake hands or Otunga will forfeit his match. Apparently she wants them to be like fine Englishmen. If Edge doesn’t do it he loses his title shot. They shake hands which I’m sure was completely legitimate. Edge goes to leave but spears Otunga off the apron to knock down all of Nexus.

Alberto is driving around in the back. How ridiculous does that seem when you picture him doing it all day?

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Why can’t Alberto afford his own driver? I guess this is the closest thing to direction we can have for Kofi. Todd mentions some soccer player for Man U and you can see Cole turning to him as he freaks out on him. Back and forth stuff to start. Striker says Kofi can defy gravity. Wouldn’t that mean he can literally fly? I think you mean he can jump really high there teacher man.

I think they botch something as Kofi goes down off a shoulder block that had zero force behind it. I don’t think that was supposed to happen. Kofi slips on the apron and Alberto gets the enziguri as we take a break. Back as Kofi gets in a few kicks but it’s about 90% Alberto so far. Kofi’s tights look like they have Spiderman’s logo on them.

Kofi gets a BIG springboard cross body for two. That’s definitely his biggest move of the match so far. Cole’s laughing as he says unbelievable on a replay is funny stuff. Kingston gets going a bit finally but misses Trouble in Paradise. Alberto goes to the apron and comes back in a second later. The Cross Armbreaker ends it clean at approximately 7:35 of 11:05 shown.

Post match here comes Rey as apparently the decisive victory over Alberto a few weeks ago wasn’t enough to end this feud. 619 clears the ring. The commentators make it sound like they’ve never fought before.

In the back Nexus thinks they need to change the plans because they don’t want to get destroyed by Smackdown in the lumberjack match. Otunga says come out there and do it for him. He says if Otunga fails any of them could be next. That gets their attention I guess.

Natalya vs. Layla

Sweet damn just get this feud over with already! Layla looks very god if nothing else. Natalya gets a vertical suplex and does some squats while holding her up. They do an insane head scissors spot that would be great if there hadn’t been at least two botches. The fans don’t seem to care about Layla. Striker wants to use British accents. And there’s the Sharpshooter to end it clean in 3:23.

Kane says that everyone has false hope regarding Edge and reminds us that he buried Taker.

Edge vs. David Otunga

All of the Smackdown roster comes out and stalks Nexus. For no apparent reason they don’t close from both sides. Why is Goldust on a Smackdown show? Even Finlay is out there. Edge gets a spinwheel kick to start as Nexus is on the ramp rather than around the ring. We take a break less than a minute in and it’s all Edge. The Smackdown guys (including the Harts too) beat on Otunga before sending him back in.

Del Rio trips up Edge as he’s getting back in the ring so Otunga can take over a bit. His offense is so generic his finishing move might as well be called the vanilla ice cream drop. Edge makes his comeback after Otunga’s biggest move in his offensive flurry is a suplex. How could Edge come back after THAT? Edge gets a rollup for two.

He pauses to baseball slide Del Rio which starts a big brawl on the floor. In the ensuing chaos McGillicutty comes in and takes the spear that was supposed to be for Otunga. Edge sets for another on the A-List but Kane comes through the crowd and chokeslams him as Otunga crawls over for the pin to stay in Nexus at approximately 6:30 of 10:00 total.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP

Dolph is alone here. A quick rollup gets one for MVP. According to Todd MVP kicking Dolph out of the ring is the same as MVP almost kicking Dolph out of the ring. Love that play by play there dude. Back from a break and Dolph is in control again. MVP seems very fond of rollups as about five minutes in we’ve gotten four of them.

Ziggler gets the turnbuckle off and MVP gets a small package as the referee is putting it back on. The champion misses a Stinger Splash and here comes MVP again. Ballin gets two. The English fans give us dueling chants. Ziggler jumps off the middle rope into a big boot for two. He hits the Zig Zag but MVP has his foot on the rope. Ziggler shoves it off before the referee sees it for the pin at about 6:00 shown of 9:30.

Stand Up For WWE. Yep because the previous match couldn’t use these two minutes. The Divas love WWE too.

Kane can’t find Paul Bearer.

Cody comes out and says that England and America are friends. He’s tired of all the stereotypes about Englishmen having bad teeth. They’re not stereotypes because they’re true according to him. England is definitely NOT dashing. He gives out mouthwash and tooth brushes to people there which is kind of funny. He goes up to a guy in the crowd and says that he too can be…..no never mind he doesn’t have any hope.

We get a grooming tip, naturally about keeping your teeth flossed. I still think Dusty’s kids are one massive rib on him. No match or anything but just a heel running down the audience. This guy is awesomely old school.

Kane still can’t find Bearer. No buffet jokes sadly.

Kane vs. Big Show

Kane pounds away to start and Show will have none of it. I don’t get why he doesn’t go for his big punch immediately. If it’s the knockout shot then why not just drill the guy early and get the win? This is happening because Kane and Show had an issue in the tag match last week. And because these two are joined at the hip throughout their career. Todd says Kane might be on the biggest roll of all time. That’s rather amusing.

Show just overpowers him and as Grisham sounds like an idiot. Grisham: that registered on the seismic scale. Cole: it’s Richter Scale. Grisham: Thank you Dr. Joyce Brothers. See what I have to deal with? Both guys go to the floor on a clothesline and we cut to Paul in the back bound and gagged watching on a monitor as we go to a break. Back with Show working on the arm and using his basic stuff that works because he’s so big ala Andre.

Kane gets a running DDT to counter and take over again. They go up to the middle rope and Show teases the suplex. Kane knocks him off and hits the clothesline for two. Show hits some running splashes but the champion gets a boot up to stop. Kane calls for the chokeslam but here’s Edge with Bearer still bound and gagged and in a wheelchair.

He says that wheelchairs have a hard time stopping once they get rolling. Edge teases shoving him off, telling Kane to not come any closer. If you can’t figure out the ending to the match from here you have no business watching wrestling. It’s a chokeslam if you’re curious as to the finisher which ends it at 11:15 shown of 14:45.

Edge wheels Bearer off to end the show.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker
Natalya b. Layla – Sharpshooter
David Otunga b. Edge – Pin after Kane chokeslammed Edge
Dolph Ziggler b. MVP – Zig Zag
Big Show b. Kane – Chokeslam

Quick Results

Raw
Bella Twins/Eve Torres b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Maryse – Small Package to Maryse
Usos b. Hart Dynasty – Top rope splash to Smith
Goldust b. Ted DiBiase – Rollup
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Sheamus b. Santino Marella via DQ when Santino hit him low
Nexus b. Team Orton – Barrett pinned Orton after a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz

NXT
Kaitlyn won an arm wrestling competition
AJ b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
AJ won a Guess the Superstar challenge
Naomi b. Aksana – Leg Lariat

Impact
Robbie E/Cookie b. Taylor Wilde/Jay Lethal – Pin on Lethal after a shot with Cookie’s boot
Samoa Joe b. Gunner/Murphy – Muscle Buster to Murphy
Kazarian b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after a Gore from Rhyno
AJ Styles b. Stevie Richards – Styles Clash
Matt Morgan b. Beer Money/Douglas Williams – Carbon Footprint to Williams

Smackdown
Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker
Natalya b. Layla – Sharpshooter
David Otunga b. Edge – Pin after Kane chokeslammed Edge
Dolph Ziggler b. MVP – Zig Zag
Big Show b. Kane – Chokeslam
 

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