klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 27, 2017
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
We’re finally out of Houston and on the road to the Royal Rumble. The big story coming out of last week is Roman Reigns winning the Intercontinental Title for the first time and issuing an open challenge after the show went off the air. Other than that we have the continuing issues with Kurt Angle, HHH and Stephanie McMahon as we flash back about seventeen years. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Kane vs. Braun Strowman, including Kane injuring Strowman’s throat last week.
Here’s Reigns to open things up. Last week was a big week for him as he and the Shield beat up New Day. Then he had an opportunity and we see a clip of him winning the Intercontinental Title. After the show was over, Shield came back out and put Miz through a table. This is his yard and this is the title so if you want it, come get it. Cue the Miztourage to say they know someone who wants the title. This brings out Elias of all people to say he wants the title. Reigns thinks it sounds like Elias wants to walk with the big dog, but after tonight he might have a neck brace like Curtis Axel.
Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro
Dean Ambrose is on his honeymoon so Rollins is on his own. It’s not like he has a buddy who happens to be Intercontinental Champion around or anything. Cesaro works on a wristlock to start but gets stomped down into the corner without much effort. Seth gets sent outside though and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro working on the ribs by dropping some knees for two. Seth’s high crossbody is countered into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and we hit a waistlock. Rollins tries an abdominal stretch of his own but gets hiptossed down without much effort. The Blockbuster works a bit better and Cesaro falls outside for a suicide dive.
Back from a second break with Rollins getting two off a Falcon Arrow. A poke to the eye sets up a small package for two on Seth and it’s off to the Sharpshooter. Rollins makes the rope though and gets two of his own off the low superkick. The wind-up knee is enough to end Cesaro at 18:23.
Post match Seth says the Shield isn’t going their separate ways because it’s time to invoke the rematch for the Tag Team Titles.
We look at the end of last week’s 205 Live with the Zo Train losing but beating down the good guys anyway.
Kurt Angle is with the four good cruiserweights and says it’s time to determine who gets the shot. Tonight there’s going to be a four way and next week there’s going to be another one. The winners of those matches will face off for the next title shot.
Titus O’Neil vs. Samoa Joe
Titus charge at him in the corner but gets headbutted away without much effort. An early Koquina Clutch is broken up and it turns into a chop off. A kick to the shoulder gives Titus two but a right hand takes him down. The Clutch makes Titus tap at 2:30.
Apollo Crews tries to go after Joe and gets choked out too. I have no idea why this is what Samoa Joe is stuck doing.
We recap Paige and company invading last week.
Paige/Mandy Rose/Sonya DeVille vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James
Alexa Bliss is on commentary…...and there’s no Mickie or Bayley. Paige and company come out and laugh off the idea of Sasha having no partners. We cut to the back where Mickie is holding her shin and Bayley is holding her neck. Paige laughs this off and says she’s tired of hearing about her interfering last week. Last year, she was THE woman in WWE and helped erase the word Diva from WWE (we could have a tournament for everyone who takes credit for anything like this).
Now she and her friends, named Absolution (sounds like a bad perfume) are here to take things back. Rose and DeVille talk about how everyone has tried to be the next big thing but they remember how Paige started all of this. Paige offers Sasha a spot on the team but she forearms Paige off the apron. The beatdown is on in a hurry with everyone hitting a finisher. No match of course.
Bray Wyatt is here. Post break he’s in the ring for a chat. Bray talks about never having a childhood. He never got to do all the usual things that children do. Your entire world exists inside the confines of a cardboard box. They tell you what to do and who to love. It’s pathetic really, just like everyone here. Their suffering brings him joy and he can see them for who they truly are. Bray says we’re all dead and starts cackling.
Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy
Joined in progress with Bray running Matt over without much effort. The backsplash gets two but Matt drops him without too much effort. The middle rope elbow doesn’t work so Matt settles for the Side Effect for two. Matt’s moonsault misses and Bray spider walks up, followed by Sister Abigail to give Bray the pin at 3:30.
Post match Matt sits in the corner and starts screaming while doing the DELETE motion. Cole: “Are we witnessing the beginning of a Matt Hardy…..breakdown?”
We look at Strowman getting hurt last week.
Jason Jordan wants to face Strowman again this week but since Braun is hurt, he’ll face Kane instead.
Rich Swann vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari vs. Noam Dar
One fall to a finish and winner goes on to a one on one #1 contenders match in two weeks. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa fighting off a double teaming but Swann flips over him. They trade some rollups for two each until the villains take him outside. Swann hits a big flip dive onto all of them with his knee hitting Tozawa square in the face. He seems ok though as Swann heads back inside for Rolling Thunder, only to be caught by Daivari’s spinebuster.
Tozawa comes back in and is double whipped into the corner. A double suplex drops Swann on the floor and we take a break. Back with Swann still on the floor as Tozawa hits the standing backsplash on Daivari. The top rope version is broken up but Swann comes back in for the Tower of Doom. Dar breaks up the Phoenix splash but Tozawa takes him out with a dive.
Daivari’s frog splash gets two on Swann, only to have Tozawa catch him with a Shining Wizard. The top rope backsplash crushes Daivari with Dar sending Tozawa into the post. Dar’s running kick to the head drops Tozawa so Swann pulls Tozawa outside. A regular kick to the head sets up the Phoenix splash to give Swann the pin and the spot in the #1 contenders match at 12:37.
Here’s Elias for his Intercontinental Title shot but first, a song about how sad the Miztourage is to not have their leader around. Dallas and Axel join in on harmonica and do give quite a performance. Elias offers them some praise but the fans cut him off with a WE WANT ROMAN chant. That’s cut off by a NO WE DON’T chant and we’re FINALLY ready to go.
Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. Elias
Elias is challenging. They trade shoulders to start with Elias getting the better of it and slapping on a reverse chinlock. Elias gets two off a clothesline and we hit a regular chinlock. Back up and the Miztourage offers a distraction so Elias can get in a hard knee for a near fall.
We come back from a break with Elias getting kicked in the face, only to have Reigns stop and take out the Miztourage instead of following up. The distraction lets Elias take Reigns down and drop a top rope elbow for a rather near fall. A sitout powerbomb gets the same but Reigns is right back with a Superman Punch for two of his own. Back up and the spear retains the title at 14:48.
Post match Samoa Joe sneaks in and chokes Reigns out. No Rollins for the save either, mainly because this was a Reigns singles match and not a Shield match. That determines who comes out for a save you see.
Asuka vs. Dana Brooke
Brooke says she’ll be all over Asuka at the bell. A cross armbreaker makes Dana tap at five seconds.
Post match Absolution comes out and surrounds the ring, only to let Asuka leave in peace.
Jason Jordan vs. Kane
Before the match, Jordan talks about how he’s an athlete and knew his knee was banged up last week. Kane actually gets powered into the corner a few times to start but the suplex is broken up. A hard toss sends Jordan outside where he comes up holding the knee again. That’s enough for a countout at 1:42.
Post match Kane stays on the knee until Finn Balor comes out for the save. They stare each other down and we take a break.
Finn Balor vs. Kane
Kane wastes no time in whipping Balor into the corner and we’re into an early chinlock. Balor dropkicks him outside and hits a dive as the announcers talk about what a big deal a win over Kane would be. Kane hits him in the ribs with a chair for the DQ at 2:44.
Kane beats on him with the chair and wraps it around Balor’s throat until Braun Strowman comes out for the save. A chair to the back has no effect on Strowman and the beatdown is on. Strowman destroys him with the steps and a chair, including a powerslam onto the steps. Kane gets his throat crushed on the chair and staggers into the crowd (probably looking for registered voters) to end the show.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Wind-up knee
Samoa Joe b. Titus O’Neil – Koquina Clutch
Bray Wyatt b. Matt Hardy – Sister Abigail
Rich Swann b. Ariya Daivari, Akira Tozawa and Noam Dar – Phoenix splash to Dar
Roman Reigns b. Elias – Spear
Asuka b. Dana Brooke – Cross armbreaker
Kane b. Jason Jordan via countout
Finn Balor b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: November 28, 2017
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re still in the fallout period from Survivor Series and that means it’s still Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. However, the big question continues to be Daniel Bryan, who seems to be leaning a bit more towards the villains, which could make for quite the power struggle down the line. Let’s get to it.
Of note: I was in the arena for this show, meaning it’s the second time I’ve seen it.
We open with a recap of Owens and Zayn vs. Shane, with Bryan holding Shane up from firing them. Instead, he put the two of them in a lumberjack match against New Day, which Sami won off a quick rollup. As a result, Bryan made Owens vs. Randy Orton for tonight. For some reason Shane left the arena halfway through the show, leaving Bryan in charge for the night.
Here’s Shane to get things going. After sucking up to the Lexington fans (works for me), Shane recaps everything we just saw in the recap. Therefore, he’d like an explanation straight from the horse’s mouth. As Bryan makes his entrance, I try to figure out why he didn’t just say the goat’s mouth.
The fans go bananas for Bryan, who talks about having been fired a few times. Therefore, he believes in second chances, including some for Owens and Zayn. Shane actually agrees with him, but recaps all the issues that Owens and Zayn who have caused him over the last few months. Bryan thinks they were doing it in the name of competition but points out that if they’re fired, they’ll just wind up on Raw. Shane: “Great. Then they’ll be my sister’s problem.”
That’s not cool with Bryan, who thinks they should make the best of it here on Smackdown. Shane left him in charge last week so Shane has to trust Bryan when he’s left in charge. As for tonight though, Shane is going to adjust the Orton vs. Owens match. Therefore, we’ll have Sami Zayn barred from ringside and we’ll make it No DQ.
Post break, Owens and Zayn run into Bryan and ask for some mercy. That turns into a demand, which doesn’t sit well with the boss.
New Day vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable
The Usos are on commentary and New Day brings out pancakes for everyone. Eh Wrestling Revolver already did it. Xavier and Chad start things off as the fans are firmly behind New Day. Kofi comes in for a running kick to the ribs and something like a bottom rope Vader Bomb for two. It’s off to Shelton as we take a quick break.
Back with Woods hitting a jawbreaker but not being able to get away from Benjamin. A belly to back suplex/top rope knee to the head combo (that’s a new one) gets two on Woods. Chad can’t quite hit a belly to belly superplex though and it’s a missile dropkick to put him down (like he was shot). The hot tag brings in Kofi as things speed up in a hurry. Kofi flips out of a monkey flip and there’s the Boom Drop. Gable gets low bridged to the floor so Woods can hit a good looking flip dive. Back in and a backbreaker/top rope stomp to the face gives Woods the pin at 8:40.
We look back at Ruby Riot/Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan debuting last week.
Charlotte, Naomi and Natalya are ready to face the newcomers in a six woman tag later. Charlotte and Naomi are together but Natalya thinks she’ll be the boss. The only thing I could think of during this whole thing: NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS. It was the most forced, scripted conversation I’ve heard in WWE in a long time and it really shows how they’re horrible actresses. Do you really not trust them to have a simple conversation?
Bludgeon Brothers vs. Hype Bros
The Brothers deck Rawley off the apron and a spinning Boss Man Slam plants Ryder. The double spinebuster ends Zack at 45 seconds.
Post match Ryder says they were top contenders for the Tag Team Titles a year ago. Now things have changed though and….Rawley decks him from behind to end the team.
Post break, Mojo says Ryder was right: the landscape has changed.
We look back at Baron Corbin decking Bobby Roode during the lumberjack match.
Roode wants a shot at Corbin’s US Title but Corbin laughs him off with a no.
Singh Brothers vs. AJ Styles
Before the match, Jinder Mahal attacks AJ, sending him ribs first into the post. After a break (and Mahal doing his standard promo), the match is on with AJ getting double teamed. The Brothers get in some shoulders to the ribs in the corner but AJ kicks them away without much effort. AJ knocks the two off them off the top, kicks Mahal in the face, and blocks a super hurricanrana attempt. He’s not done yet though as it’s a SUPER STYLES CLASH with one Singh landing on the other for the easy pin at 3:56.
Post match Mahal lays out the Singh’s, including a TERRIBLE looking Khallas to the second one. The guy’s head and back never came close to the mat as he basically bounced off his elbow (it looked even worse in slow motion). As I’ve said many times: Mahal just isn’t very good and that finisher makes things even worse.
Riot, Morgan and Logan are officially dubbed the Riot Squad. They’re not here to be Total Divas but rather to turn the division on its head. Logan says she’s a country girl from a family of hunters. Last week they set a trap and tonight they’re bagging some trophies. The country accent was absolutely dreadful and the fans around me were groaning after she was done.
Charlotte/Natalya/Naomi vs. Riott Squad
Yes Riott and no I don’t know why. During Charlotte’s entrance we see clips from Starrcade, WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN FREAKING BROADCAST ON THE NETWORK! Logan takes Natalya into the corner to start and scores with a clothesline. It’s off to Charlotte but that’s enough for Natalya, who walks out on the match less than a minute in. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting off the trio but getting caught by the numbers game on the floor. Morgan gets two off a floatover suplex and it’s off to Ruby for a chinlock. That leaves the other two Squad members to take Naomi down on the floor.
They send her hard into the steps and then bridge them over the barricade, catapulting Naomi face first into the steel. The best the referee can do is glare at them, making me wonder HOW IN THE WORLD THIS ISN’T A DQ. Seriously do they need to break out a pair of nunchuks and beat the stuffing out of Naomi before the match is called off? So it’s now three on one with Charlotte actually managing to fight them off for a bit. A spear hits Morgan in those impressive abs but Logan hits a knee from the apron, setting up the Riot Kick to the face for the pin at 9:12.
Randy Orton has nothing to say. What is up with that growing hair?
It’s Fashion Files time, featuring a Saw theme this week. Breezango and Ascension wake up chained in a shower when a video pops up on a tablet. A Jigsaw style voice says that to escape this room, they must destroy what they love most. They have a minute before a poisonous gas fills the room and a countdown begins.
There’s a backpack in the middle of the room containing Tully the Horse’s head. Konnor finally rips it apart to find the key, allowing Breezango to escape in time. Fandango comes running back….to get his hat, leaving Ascension to die I guess as the gas fills the room. Wouldn’t Breezango leaving the door open help them a bit? To be continued of course.
Kevin Owens vs. Randy Orton
No DQ with Sami Zayn banned from ringside. The threat of an RKO sends Owens bailing outside in the first few seconds but Orton is right on his trails. Randy starts loading up the announcers’ table but stops to send Owens into the barricade instead. A kendo stick to the arm has Owens swearing and a second shot makes him swear all over again. The slow beating continues with Owens being belly to back suplexed onto the barricade.
The fans want tables but settle for Owens posting Orton instead. A fall away slam into the barricade takes us to a break with Orton in big trouble. Back with Owens still swinging the cane and getting two off the backsplash. More stick shots continue to show that weapons based fighting is becoming a lost art in WWE. A DDT gives Owens two but Orton is right back up and catching him with a top rope superplex. It’s a great crash but only good for two.
They head outside again with Owens getting dropped onto the barricade again. The brawl heads up to the stage….meaning Sami Zayn can come out with a chair to take Orton out. See, it’s not at ringside so the one illegal thing is now legal. That’s stretching pretty hard people. Back in and Owens gets caught in the hanging DDT, only to escape the RKO. A superkick into a frog splash puts Orton away at 16:47.
Results
New Day b. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable – Backbreaker/top rope double stomp combination to Benjamin
Bludgeon Brothers b. Hype Bros – Double spinebuster to Ryder
AJ Styles b. Singh Brothers – Super Styles Clash
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Naomi/Natalya – Riot Kick to Charlotte
Kevin Owens b. Randy Orton – Frog splash
Wednesday
NXT
Date: November 29, 2017
Location: Aztec Theater, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson
We’re back on the regular schedule this week as it’s time to get ready for Takeover: Philly. Therefore, we need to deal with the lack of Drew McIntyre, who has wrecked his elbow and be out for several months. Tonight will be at least partially focused on the women though with Kairi Sane facing Peyton Royce. Let’s get to it.
We’re in San Antonio this week with some matches from a recent house show.
Street Profits vs. Riddick Moss/Tino Sabbatelli
Dawkins waistlocks Moss down without much effort and gets in a slam for good measure. Ford comes in for the belly to back moonsault but Sabbatelli gets in a cheap shot to take over. That goes nowhere though as the Profits clean house without much effort. Back from a break with Ford being knocked off the barricade to really take over for the first time.
Moss stops to mock Ford’s dancing before hitting the chinlock. Ford flips out of it though and avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the hot tag to Dawkins as house is cleaned. An elbow gives Tino two with Moss grabbing Ford’s feet, forcing the referee to break things up. Back up and the spinebuster into the frog splash ends Sabbatelli at 12:49.
Last week the UK guys set up a tag match for this week.
Trent Seven and Tyler Bate are ready for said tag match and are ready to teach a fake team a lesson.
Mark Andrews is teaming with Pete Dunne tonight so he can get a future UK Title shot.
Kairi Sane vs. Peyton Royce
Peyton hiptosses her down to start but gets rolled up for a quick two. A dropkick gets the same, only to have Peyton spin kick Sane in the face for the same. Back from a break with Sane holding a chinlock until Sane fights up and hits a spear to cut her off. A running Blockbuster sets up the sliding corner elbow but it’s too early for the Insane Elbow. Sane stomps her down again, cuts down Billy Kay and drops the Insane Elbow for the pin at 9:46.
We look back at Sonya DeVille vs. Ruby Riot from last week. Next week it’s a no holds barred rematch.
We look back at Andrade Cien Almas winning the NXT Title from Drew McIntyre. Drew’s injury is also confirmed.
Tyler Bate/Trent Seven vs. Mark Andrews/Pete Dunne
Dunne front facelocks Bate to start before a hard shot to the face allows the tag off to Andrews. Seven comes in as well but gets dropkicked down for a fast two. It’s back to Dunne to crank on the fingers and we take a break. Back with Andrews working on Seven’s arm until the much bigger Seven blocks a monkey flip.
That’s fine with Dunne, who comes back in with a Backstabber to take Seven down all over again. A quick Seven Stars Lariat cuts Dunne off though and the hot tag brings in Bate to clean house. Tyler hits a middle rope elbow to the jaw but the Tyler Driver 97 is broken up. Andrews’ standing corkscrew moonsault gets two and the fans think this is awesome.
Andrews loads up a top rope hurricanrana but Dunne slaps him in the face for a tag. Not that it matters as the hurricanrana sends Bate into a sitout powerbomb for a strong near fall. A step up enziguri drops Seven but Andrews can’t hit the shooting star on Bate. Instead it’s the airplane spin until Dunne tags himself in. It doesn’t do much good though as Bate drops Dunne with a shot to the face, setting up the Tyler Driver for the pin at 15:53.
Dunne lays Andrews out to end the show.
Results
Street Profits b. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss – Frog splash to Sabbatelli
Kairi Sane b. Peyton Royce – Insane Elbow
Tyler Bate/Trent Seven b. Mark Andrews/Pete Dunne – Tyler Driver 97 to Dunne
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 30, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
We’re back to a normal show this week after the Thanksgiving episode last time around. Tonight’s featured attraction is Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact in a match that should probably main event a pay per view if this company had more than two of them a year. Oh and we’ll be getting more footage from outside the promotion. Let’s get to it.
JB is in the back talking to the various women who will be in the Knockouts Title tournament.
We get a mostly silent preview of tonight’s show with only El Patron vs. Impact getting any comments from either.
Knockouts Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Madison Rayne vs. KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness
They waste no time here with the early rollups, including Laurel spinning Madison around for two. Spinelli breaks it up but spends a bit too long dancing, allowing Madison to take her down. Laurel is back up to deck both of them but gets sent into the corner. A slugout is broken up with a double missile dropkick to give Laurel two each. Madison gets flipped off the top, only to have KC catch Laurel in an electric chair drop for a crash onto Rayne. Back up and something like a jumping Unprettier gives Laurel the pin on KC at 5:47.
We look back at Taiji Ishimori having issues with the Cult of Lee.
Taiji Ishimori vs. Hakim Zane
Ishimori wastes no time, coming in with a springboard seated senton. Zane fights up and kicks Ishimori down as the announcers explain how awesome it is to have all these promotions around. Some double knees to the chest put Zane down though and the 450 is good for the pin at 3:25.
Post match the Cult of Lee comes in and takes Ishimori out.
James Storm is ready to prove that he’s the real cowboy tonight against Texano. After that, he’s ready to take care of American Top Team.
LAX is ready to take care of OVE and Sami Callihan with various weapons available. Beer is consumed.
From Defy Wrestling in Seattle.
Sami Callihan vs. Randy Myers
I believe Myers was a big deal in the last incarnation of Stampede Wrestling. Joined in progress with Callihan knocking Myers outside and piling a bunch of chairs on top of him. Clipped to Callihan chopping him against the barricade and again to a rollup getting two on Myers back inside. A Batista Bomb gets two more on Myers and we’re clipped again to a slugout. A hard lariat puts Myers away at 3:46 shown. Way too much clipping to give this a rating but it was little more than a squash for Callihan. Side note: I have no idea when this match took place and even Cagematch has never heard of it.
Alberto El Patron is ready to beat the heck out of Johnny Impact. Johnny has gone crying to the bosses of this company to get a fight and now he can’t wait to beat Impact all over Canada. Alberto leaves and we pan over to KM beating up unidentified people while shouting about how that should be enough for American Top Team.
Texano Jr. vs. James Storm
Before the match, American Top Team is walking in the back when KM comes up to ask if that was enough. Dan Lambert says he doesn’t care because they have a cowboy to deal with. Back with the two of them heading outside for a brawl but Texano steals some beer to spit in Storm’s face.
Storm is sent into the barricade and a hiptoss sends him up the ramp. A chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back doesn’t do much good so it’s off to a half crab. The announcers talk about Storm being in a war against AAA and another against ATT. We’re really considering the AAA thing a war? Seriously? Back up and the Eye of the Storm is broken up so Texano can hit a superkick. That goes nowhere though and it’s the Last Call to give Storm the pin at 6:45.
Indeed, the MMA guys come out and beat Storm down as Josh names all of them off in a vain attempt to give us a reason to care. Storm gets in a Last Call on the one in a neck brace and the big beatdown is on. Moose comes out for the save and chairs down one of the fighters. Lambert calls wrestling a circus and says he’s out of bug spray for all the fleas around here. A tag match is proposed for next week: Storm/Moose vs. Lashley/Lambert himself (with Lambert describing himself as the biggest heel in professional wrestling today).
Side note: how worthless of an appearance did Stephan Bonnar have? He showed up, wrecked an MMA gym and then had a horrible match before leaving. Again I’d love an explanation for why it wasn’t just Lashley vs. Moose in the cage at the pay per view. Novelty maybe? The idea that this company doesn’t think anything of its own roster and thinks they need guest stars?
We get a commercial for Park Park and Park law offices, including Joseph’s cousin Chandler, who is better known as indy wrestler Ethan Page.
Here’s the end of Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe from Genesis 2006. That should have been the main event of Bound For Glory 2007 but why waste time when you can make it clear that the former WWE guy is better than one of your best guys? I also wouldn’t point out how much hotter the crowds were eleven years ago.
Johnny Impact calls Alberto a speed bump on the road to the World Title. Tonight, Alberto goes to Slam Town.
Eli Drake and Chris Adonis are ready for Alberto or Johnny. They run into Jimmy Jacobs but nothing is said.
Ethan Carter III comes out for commentary.
Tyson Dux vs. Matt Sydal
Sydal takes him into the ropes to start before hitting a standing legdrop for two. A reverse Muta Lock has Dux holding his knee but Dux kicks at Sydal’s knee to even things out. Dux gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and we hit a Boston crab. That goes nowhere so Sydal kicks him in the face and gets two off a standing moonsault. Dux breaks up the shooting star and grabs a running DDT for two of his own. Sydal’s jumping knee to the face sets up the shooting star (with Dux taking a very long roll over to the corner) for the pin at 5:44.
Video on Johnny vs. Alberto.
Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron
Alberto wastes no time in taking Johnny down but Johnny pounds him out to the floor without too much effort. A good looking corkscrew dive over the top drops Alberto again. Some kicks to the chest have Johnny in trouble and Alberto throws Johnny’s sunglasses into the crowd. Alberto has a seat on the top rope and is greeted with a WE DON’T LIKE YOU chant. Well at least the fans get to the point. Johnny gets sent over the top in another heap and we take a break.
Back with Alberto in a chinlock after being crushed underneath the steps during the commercial. Alberto misses a top rope ax handle and gets kicked in the face for a double knockdown. Johnny wins a slugout and ducks the corner enziguri. A second kick to the face connects though and Johnny is staggered.
The armbreaker is broken up though and the Flying Chuck drops Alberto for a near fall. Starship Pain is broken up as well and Alberto’s reverse superplex gets two more. Alberto can’t hit the top rope double stomp (good) so Johnny hits one to Alberto’s back for a close two. The Countdown to Impact misses and OF COURSE the ref gets bumped.
A low blow cuts Johnny off but can’t put him away. Instead Alberto ties him in the Tree of Woe and tries to put Johnny’s wrist tape in Johnny’s mouth. That goes nowhere so here’s Drake for a distraction. Alberto decks him with a right hand and belt shot but gets pulled back in by a sitting up Johnny. Starship Pain gives Johnny the pin at 19:53.
Post match Drake and Adonis beat on Johnny until Petey Williams makes the save to end the show.
Results
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli and Madison Rayne – Unprettier to Spinelli
Taiji Ishimori b. Hakim Zane – 450
Sami Callihan b. Randy Myers – Lariat
James Storm b. Texano – Last Call
Matt Sydal b. Tyson Dux – Shooting star press
Johnny Impact b. Alberto El Patron – Starship Pain
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Wind-up knee
Samoa Joe b. Titus O’Neil – Koquina Clutch
Bray Wyatt b. Matt Hardy – Sister Abigail
Rich Swann b. Ariya Daivari, Akira Tozawa and Noam Dar – Phoenix splash to Dar
Roman Reigns b. Elias – Spear
Asuka b. Dana Brooke – Cross armbreaker
Kane b. Jason Jordan via countout
Finn Balor b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Smackdown
New Day b. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable – Backbreaker/top rope double stomp combination to Benjamin
Bludgeon Brothers b. Hype Bros – Double spinebuster to Ryder
AJ Styles b. Singh Brothers – Super Styles Clash
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Naomi/Natalya – Riot Kick to Charlotte
Kevin Owens b. Randy Orton – Frog splash
NXT
Street Profits b. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss – Frog splash to Sabbatelli
Kairi Sane b. Peyton Royce – Insane Elbow
Tyler Bate/Trent Seven b. Mark Andrews/Pete Dunne – Tyler Driver 97 to Dunne
Impact Wrestling
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli and Madison Rayne – Unprettier to Spinelli
Taiji Ishimori b. Hakim Zane – 450
Sami Callihan b. Randy Myers – Lariat
James Storm b. Texano – Last Call
Matt Sydal b. Tyson Dux – Shooting star press
Johnny Impact b. Alberto El Patron – Starship Pain
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 27, 2017
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
We’re finally out of Houston and on the road to the Royal Rumble. The big story coming out of last week is Roman Reigns winning the Intercontinental Title for the first time and issuing an open challenge after the show went off the air. Other than that we have the continuing issues with Kurt Angle, HHH and Stephanie McMahon as we flash back about seventeen years. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Kane vs. Braun Strowman, including Kane injuring Strowman’s throat last week.
Here’s Reigns to open things up. Last week was a big week for him as he and the Shield beat up New Day. Then he had an opportunity and we see a clip of him winning the Intercontinental Title. After the show was over, Shield came back out and put Miz through a table. This is his yard and this is the title so if you want it, come get it. Cue the Miztourage to say they know someone who wants the title. This brings out Elias of all people to say he wants the title. Reigns thinks it sounds like Elias wants to walk with the big dog, but after tonight he might have a neck brace like Curtis Axel.
Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro
Dean Ambrose is on his honeymoon so Rollins is on his own. It’s not like he has a buddy who happens to be Intercontinental Champion around or anything. Cesaro works on a wristlock to start but gets stomped down into the corner without much effort. Seth gets sent outside though and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro working on the ribs by dropping some knees for two. Seth’s high crossbody is countered into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and we hit a waistlock. Rollins tries an abdominal stretch of his own but gets hiptossed down without much effort. The Blockbuster works a bit better and Cesaro falls outside for a suicide dive.
Back from a second break with Rollins getting two off a Falcon Arrow. A poke to the eye sets up a small package for two on Seth and it’s off to the Sharpshooter. Rollins makes the rope though and gets two of his own off the low superkick. The wind-up knee is enough to end Cesaro at 18:23.
Post match Seth says the Shield isn’t going their separate ways because it’s time to invoke the rematch for the Tag Team Titles.
We look at the end of last week’s 205 Live with the Zo Train losing but beating down the good guys anyway.
Kurt Angle is with the four good cruiserweights and says it’s time to determine who gets the shot. Tonight there’s going to be a four way and next week there’s going to be another one. The winners of those matches will face off for the next title shot.
Titus O’Neil vs. Samoa Joe
Titus charge at him in the corner but gets headbutted away without much effort. An early Koquina Clutch is broken up and it turns into a chop off. A kick to the shoulder gives Titus two but a right hand takes him down. The Clutch makes Titus tap at 2:30.
Apollo Crews tries to go after Joe and gets choked out too. I have no idea why this is what Samoa Joe is stuck doing.
We recap Paige and company invading last week.
Paige/Mandy Rose/Sonya DeVille vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James
Alexa Bliss is on commentary…...and there’s no Mickie or Bayley. Paige and company come out and laugh off the idea of Sasha having no partners. We cut to the back where Mickie is holding her shin and Bayley is holding her neck. Paige laughs this off and says she’s tired of hearing about her interfering last week. Last year, she was THE woman in WWE and helped erase the word Diva from WWE (we could have a tournament for everyone who takes credit for anything like this).
Now she and her friends, named Absolution (sounds like a bad perfume) are here to take things back. Rose and DeVille talk about how everyone has tried to be the next big thing but they remember how Paige started all of this. Paige offers Sasha a spot on the team but she forearms Paige off the apron. The beatdown is on in a hurry with everyone hitting a finisher. No match of course.
Bray Wyatt is here. Post break he’s in the ring for a chat. Bray talks about never having a childhood. He never got to do all the usual things that children do. Your entire world exists inside the confines of a cardboard box. They tell you what to do and who to love. It’s pathetic really, just like everyone here. Their suffering brings him joy and he can see them for who they truly are. Bray says we’re all dead and starts cackling.
Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy
Joined in progress with Bray running Matt over without much effort. The backsplash gets two but Matt drops him without too much effort. The middle rope elbow doesn’t work so Matt settles for the Side Effect for two. Matt’s moonsault misses and Bray spider walks up, followed by Sister Abigail to give Bray the pin at 3:30.
Post match Matt sits in the corner and starts screaming while doing the DELETE motion. Cole: “Are we witnessing the beginning of a Matt Hardy…..breakdown?”
We look at Strowman getting hurt last week.
Jason Jordan wants to face Strowman again this week but since Braun is hurt, he’ll face Kane instead.
Rich Swann vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari vs. Noam Dar
One fall to a finish and winner goes on to a one on one #1 contenders match in two weeks. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa fighting off a double teaming but Swann flips over him. They trade some rollups for two each until the villains take him outside. Swann hits a big flip dive onto all of them with his knee hitting Tozawa square in the face. He seems ok though as Swann heads back inside for Rolling Thunder, only to be caught by Daivari’s spinebuster.
Tozawa comes back in and is double whipped into the corner. A double suplex drops Swann on the floor and we take a break. Back with Swann still on the floor as Tozawa hits the standing backsplash on Daivari. The top rope version is broken up but Swann comes back in for the Tower of Doom. Dar breaks up the Phoenix splash but Tozawa takes him out with a dive.
Daivari’s frog splash gets two on Swann, only to have Tozawa catch him with a Shining Wizard. The top rope backsplash crushes Daivari with Dar sending Tozawa into the post. Dar’s running kick to the head drops Tozawa so Swann pulls Tozawa outside. A regular kick to the head sets up the Phoenix splash to give Swann the pin and the spot in the #1 contenders match at 12:37.
Here’s Elias for his Intercontinental Title shot but first, a song about how sad the Miztourage is to not have their leader around. Dallas and Axel join in on harmonica and do give quite a performance. Elias offers them some praise but the fans cut him off with a WE WANT ROMAN chant. That’s cut off by a NO WE DON’T chant and we’re FINALLY ready to go.
Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. Elias
Elias is challenging. They trade shoulders to start with Elias getting the better of it and slapping on a reverse chinlock. Elias gets two off a clothesline and we hit a regular chinlock. Back up and the Miztourage offers a distraction so Elias can get in a hard knee for a near fall.
We come back from a break with Elias getting kicked in the face, only to have Reigns stop and take out the Miztourage instead of following up. The distraction lets Elias take Reigns down and drop a top rope elbow for a rather near fall. A sitout powerbomb gets the same but Reigns is right back with a Superman Punch for two of his own. Back up and the spear retains the title at 14:48.
Post match Samoa Joe sneaks in and chokes Reigns out. No Rollins for the save either, mainly because this was a Reigns singles match and not a Shield match. That determines who comes out for a save you see.
Asuka vs. Dana Brooke
Brooke says she’ll be all over Asuka at the bell. A cross armbreaker makes Dana tap at five seconds.
Post match Absolution comes out and surrounds the ring, only to let Asuka leave in peace.
Jason Jordan vs. Kane
Before the match, Jordan talks about how he’s an athlete and knew his knee was banged up last week. Kane actually gets powered into the corner a few times to start but the suplex is broken up. A hard toss sends Jordan outside where he comes up holding the knee again. That’s enough for a countout at 1:42.
Post match Kane stays on the knee until Finn Balor comes out for the save. They stare each other down and we take a break.
Finn Balor vs. Kane
Kane wastes no time in whipping Balor into the corner and we’re into an early chinlock. Balor dropkicks him outside and hits a dive as the announcers talk about what a big deal a win over Kane would be. Kane hits him in the ribs with a chair for the DQ at 2:44.
Kane beats on him with the chair and wraps it around Balor’s throat until Braun Strowman comes out for the save. A chair to the back has no effect on Strowman and the beatdown is on. Strowman destroys him with the steps and a chair, including a powerslam onto the steps. Kane gets his throat crushed on the chair and staggers into the crowd (probably looking for registered voters) to end the show.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Wind-up knee
Samoa Joe b. Titus O’Neil – Koquina Clutch
Bray Wyatt b. Matt Hardy – Sister Abigail
Rich Swann b. Ariya Daivari, Akira Tozawa and Noam Dar – Phoenix splash to Dar
Roman Reigns b. Elias – Spear
Asuka b. Dana Brooke – Cross armbreaker
Kane b. Jason Jordan via countout
Finn Balor b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: November 28, 2017
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re still in the fallout period from Survivor Series and that means it’s still Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. However, the big question continues to be Daniel Bryan, who seems to be leaning a bit more towards the villains, which could make for quite the power struggle down the line. Let’s get to it.
Of note: I was in the arena for this show, meaning it’s the second time I’ve seen it.
We open with a recap of Owens and Zayn vs. Shane, with Bryan holding Shane up from firing them. Instead, he put the two of them in a lumberjack match against New Day, which Sami won off a quick rollup. As a result, Bryan made Owens vs. Randy Orton for tonight. For some reason Shane left the arena halfway through the show, leaving Bryan in charge for the night.
Here’s Shane to get things going. After sucking up to the Lexington fans (works for me), Shane recaps everything we just saw in the recap. Therefore, he’d like an explanation straight from the horse’s mouth. As Bryan makes his entrance, I try to figure out why he didn’t just say the goat’s mouth.
The fans go bananas for Bryan, who talks about having been fired a few times. Therefore, he believes in second chances, including some for Owens and Zayn. Shane actually agrees with him, but recaps all the issues that Owens and Zayn who have caused him over the last few months. Bryan thinks they were doing it in the name of competition but points out that if they’re fired, they’ll just wind up on Raw. Shane: “Great. Then they’ll be my sister’s problem.”
That’s not cool with Bryan, who thinks they should make the best of it here on Smackdown. Shane left him in charge last week so Shane has to trust Bryan when he’s left in charge. As for tonight though, Shane is going to adjust the Orton vs. Owens match. Therefore, we’ll have Sami Zayn barred from ringside and we’ll make it No DQ.
Post break, Owens and Zayn run into Bryan and ask for some mercy. That turns into a demand, which doesn’t sit well with the boss.
New Day vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable
The Usos are on commentary and New Day brings out pancakes for everyone. Eh Wrestling Revolver already did it. Xavier and Chad start things off as the fans are firmly behind New Day. Kofi comes in for a running kick to the ribs and something like a bottom rope Vader Bomb for two. It’s off to Shelton as we take a quick break.
Back with Woods hitting a jawbreaker but not being able to get away from Benjamin. A belly to back suplex/top rope knee to the head combo (that’s a new one) gets two on Woods. Chad can’t quite hit a belly to belly superplex though and it’s a missile dropkick to put him down (like he was shot). The hot tag brings in Kofi as things speed up in a hurry. Kofi flips out of a monkey flip and there’s the Boom Drop. Gable gets low bridged to the floor so Woods can hit a good looking flip dive. Back in and a backbreaker/top rope stomp to the face gives Woods the pin at 8:40.
We look back at Ruby Riot/Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan debuting last week.
Charlotte, Naomi and Natalya are ready to face the newcomers in a six woman tag later. Charlotte and Naomi are together but Natalya thinks she’ll be the boss. The only thing I could think of during this whole thing: NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS. It was the most forced, scripted conversation I’ve heard in WWE in a long time and it really shows how they’re horrible actresses. Do you really not trust them to have a simple conversation?
Bludgeon Brothers vs. Hype Bros
The Brothers deck Rawley off the apron and a spinning Boss Man Slam plants Ryder. The double spinebuster ends Zack at 45 seconds.
Post match Ryder says they were top contenders for the Tag Team Titles a year ago. Now things have changed though and….Rawley decks him from behind to end the team.
Post break, Mojo says Ryder was right: the landscape has changed.
We look back at Baron Corbin decking Bobby Roode during the lumberjack match.
Roode wants a shot at Corbin’s US Title but Corbin laughs him off with a no.
Singh Brothers vs. AJ Styles
Before the match, Jinder Mahal attacks AJ, sending him ribs first into the post. After a break (and Mahal doing his standard promo), the match is on with AJ getting double teamed. The Brothers get in some shoulders to the ribs in the corner but AJ kicks them away without much effort. AJ knocks the two off them off the top, kicks Mahal in the face, and blocks a super hurricanrana attempt. He’s not done yet though as it’s a SUPER STYLES CLASH with one Singh landing on the other for the easy pin at 3:56.
Post match Mahal lays out the Singh’s, including a TERRIBLE looking Khallas to the second one. The guy’s head and back never came close to the mat as he basically bounced off his elbow (it looked even worse in slow motion). As I’ve said many times: Mahal just isn’t very good and that finisher makes things even worse.
Riot, Morgan and Logan are officially dubbed the Riot Squad. They’re not here to be Total Divas but rather to turn the division on its head. Logan says she’s a country girl from a family of hunters. Last week they set a trap and tonight they’re bagging some trophies. The country accent was absolutely dreadful and the fans around me were groaning after she was done.
Charlotte/Natalya/Naomi vs. Riott Squad
Yes Riott and no I don’t know why. During Charlotte’s entrance we see clips from Starrcade, WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN FREAKING BROADCAST ON THE NETWORK! Logan takes Natalya into the corner to start and scores with a clothesline. It’s off to Charlotte but that’s enough for Natalya, who walks out on the match less than a minute in. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting off the trio but getting caught by the numbers game on the floor. Morgan gets two off a floatover suplex and it’s off to Ruby for a chinlock. That leaves the other two Squad members to take Naomi down on the floor.
They send her hard into the steps and then bridge them over the barricade, catapulting Naomi face first into the steel. The best the referee can do is glare at them, making me wonder HOW IN THE WORLD THIS ISN’T A DQ. Seriously do they need to break out a pair of nunchuks and beat the stuffing out of Naomi before the match is called off? So it’s now three on one with Charlotte actually managing to fight them off for a bit. A spear hits Morgan in those impressive abs but Logan hits a knee from the apron, setting up the Riot Kick to the face for the pin at 9:12.
Randy Orton has nothing to say. What is up with that growing hair?
It’s Fashion Files time, featuring a Saw theme this week. Breezango and Ascension wake up chained in a shower when a video pops up on a tablet. A Jigsaw style voice says that to escape this room, they must destroy what they love most. They have a minute before a poisonous gas fills the room and a countdown begins.
There’s a backpack in the middle of the room containing Tully the Horse’s head. Konnor finally rips it apart to find the key, allowing Breezango to escape in time. Fandango comes running back….to get his hat, leaving Ascension to die I guess as the gas fills the room. Wouldn’t Breezango leaving the door open help them a bit? To be continued of course.
Kevin Owens vs. Randy Orton
No DQ with Sami Zayn banned from ringside. The threat of an RKO sends Owens bailing outside in the first few seconds but Orton is right on his trails. Randy starts loading up the announcers’ table but stops to send Owens into the barricade instead. A kendo stick to the arm has Owens swearing and a second shot makes him swear all over again. The slow beating continues with Owens being belly to back suplexed onto the barricade.
The fans want tables but settle for Owens posting Orton instead. A fall away slam into the barricade takes us to a break with Orton in big trouble. Back with Owens still swinging the cane and getting two off the backsplash. More stick shots continue to show that weapons based fighting is becoming a lost art in WWE. A DDT gives Owens two but Orton is right back up and catching him with a top rope superplex. It’s a great crash but only good for two.
They head outside again with Owens getting dropped onto the barricade again. The brawl heads up to the stage….meaning Sami Zayn can come out with a chair to take Orton out. See, it’s not at ringside so the one illegal thing is now legal. That’s stretching pretty hard people. Back in and Owens gets caught in the hanging DDT, only to escape the RKO. A superkick into a frog splash puts Orton away at 16:47.
Results
New Day b. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable – Backbreaker/top rope double stomp combination to Benjamin
Bludgeon Brothers b. Hype Bros – Double spinebuster to Ryder
AJ Styles b. Singh Brothers – Super Styles Clash
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Naomi/Natalya – Riot Kick to Charlotte
Kevin Owens b. Randy Orton – Frog splash
Wednesday
NXT
Date: November 29, 2017
Location: Aztec Theater, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson
We’re back on the regular schedule this week as it’s time to get ready for Takeover: Philly. Therefore, we need to deal with the lack of Drew McIntyre, who has wrecked his elbow and be out for several months. Tonight will be at least partially focused on the women though with Kairi Sane facing Peyton Royce. Let’s get to it.
We’re in San Antonio this week with some matches from a recent house show.
Street Profits vs. Riddick Moss/Tino Sabbatelli
Dawkins waistlocks Moss down without much effort and gets in a slam for good measure. Ford comes in for the belly to back moonsault but Sabbatelli gets in a cheap shot to take over. That goes nowhere though as the Profits clean house without much effort. Back from a break with Ford being knocked off the barricade to really take over for the first time.
Moss stops to mock Ford’s dancing before hitting the chinlock. Ford flips out of it though and avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the hot tag to Dawkins as house is cleaned. An elbow gives Tino two with Moss grabbing Ford’s feet, forcing the referee to break things up. Back up and the spinebuster into the frog splash ends Sabbatelli at 12:49.
Last week the UK guys set up a tag match for this week.
Trent Seven and Tyler Bate are ready for said tag match and are ready to teach a fake team a lesson.
Mark Andrews is teaming with Pete Dunne tonight so he can get a future UK Title shot.
Kairi Sane vs. Peyton Royce
Peyton hiptosses her down to start but gets rolled up for a quick two. A dropkick gets the same, only to have Peyton spin kick Sane in the face for the same. Back from a break with Sane holding a chinlock until Sane fights up and hits a spear to cut her off. A running Blockbuster sets up the sliding corner elbow but it’s too early for the Insane Elbow. Sane stomps her down again, cuts down Billy Kay and drops the Insane Elbow for the pin at 9:46.
We look back at Sonya DeVille vs. Ruby Riot from last week. Next week it’s a no holds barred rematch.
We look back at Andrade Cien Almas winning the NXT Title from Drew McIntyre. Drew’s injury is also confirmed.
Tyler Bate/Trent Seven vs. Mark Andrews/Pete Dunne
Dunne front facelocks Bate to start before a hard shot to the face allows the tag off to Andrews. Seven comes in as well but gets dropkicked down for a fast two. It’s back to Dunne to crank on the fingers and we take a break. Back with Andrews working on Seven’s arm until the much bigger Seven blocks a monkey flip.
That’s fine with Dunne, who comes back in with a Backstabber to take Seven down all over again. A quick Seven Stars Lariat cuts Dunne off though and the hot tag brings in Bate to clean house. Tyler hits a middle rope elbow to the jaw but the Tyler Driver 97 is broken up. Andrews’ standing corkscrew moonsault gets two and the fans think this is awesome.
Andrews loads up a top rope hurricanrana but Dunne slaps him in the face for a tag. Not that it matters as the hurricanrana sends Bate into a sitout powerbomb for a strong near fall. A step up enziguri drops Seven but Andrews can’t hit the shooting star on Bate. Instead it’s the airplane spin until Dunne tags himself in. It doesn’t do much good though as Bate drops Dunne with a shot to the face, setting up the Tyler Driver for the pin at 15:53.
Dunne lays Andrews out to end the show.
Results
Street Profits b. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss – Frog splash to Sabbatelli
Kairi Sane b. Peyton Royce – Insane Elbow
Tyler Bate/Trent Seven b. Mark Andrews/Pete Dunne – Tyler Driver 97 to Dunne
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 30, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
We’re back to a normal show this week after the Thanksgiving episode last time around. Tonight’s featured attraction is Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact in a match that should probably main event a pay per view if this company had more than two of them a year. Oh and we’ll be getting more footage from outside the promotion. Let’s get to it.
JB is in the back talking to the various women who will be in the Knockouts Title tournament.
We get a mostly silent preview of tonight’s show with only El Patron vs. Impact getting any comments from either.
Knockouts Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Madison Rayne vs. KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness
They waste no time here with the early rollups, including Laurel spinning Madison around for two. Spinelli breaks it up but spends a bit too long dancing, allowing Madison to take her down. Laurel is back up to deck both of them but gets sent into the corner. A slugout is broken up with a double missile dropkick to give Laurel two each. Madison gets flipped off the top, only to have KC catch Laurel in an electric chair drop for a crash onto Rayne. Back up and something like a jumping Unprettier gives Laurel the pin on KC at 5:47.
We look back at Taiji Ishimori having issues with the Cult of Lee.
Taiji Ishimori vs. Hakim Zane
Ishimori wastes no time, coming in with a springboard seated senton. Zane fights up and kicks Ishimori down as the announcers explain how awesome it is to have all these promotions around. Some double knees to the chest put Zane down though and the 450 is good for the pin at 3:25.
Post match the Cult of Lee comes in and takes Ishimori out.
James Storm is ready to prove that he’s the real cowboy tonight against Texano. After that, he’s ready to take care of American Top Team.
LAX is ready to take care of OVE and Sami Callihan with various weapons available. Beer is consumed.
From Defy Wrestling in Seattle.
Sami Callihan vs. Randy Myers
I believe Myers was a big deal in the last incarnation of Stampede Wrestling. Joined in progress with Callihan knocking Myers outside and piling a bunch of chairs on top of him. Clipped to Callihan chopping him against the barricade and again to a rollup getting two on Myers back inside. A Batista Bomb gets two more on Myers and we’re clipped again to a slugout. A hard lariat puts Myers away at 3:46 shown. Way too much clipping to give this a rating but it was little more than a squash for Callihan. Side note: I have no idea when this match took place and even Cagematch has never heard of it.
Alberto El Patron is ready to beat the heck out of Johnny Impact. Johnny has gone crying to the bosses of this company to get a fight and now he can’t wait to beat Impact all over Canada. Alberto leaves and we pan over to KM beating up unidentified people while shouting about how that should be enough for American Top Team.
Texano Jr. vs. James Storm
Before the match, American Top Team is walking in the back when KM comes up to ask if that was enough. Dan Lambert says he doesn’t care because they have a cowboy to deal with. Back with the two of them heading outside for a brawl but Texano steals some beer to spit in Storm’s face.
Storm is sent into the barricade and a hiptoss sends him up the ramp. A chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back doesn’t do much good so it’s off to a half crab. The announcers talk about Storm being in a war against AAA and another against ATT. We’re really considering the AAA thing a war? Seriously? Back up and the Eye of the Storm is broken up so Texano can hit a superkick. That goes nowhere though and it’s the Last Call to give Storm the pin at 6:45.
Indeed, the MMA guys come out and beat Storm down as Josh names all of them off in a vain attempt to give us a reason to care. Storm gets in a Last Call on the one in a neck brace and the big beatdown is on. Moose comes out for the save and chairs down one of the fighters. Lambert calls wrestling a circus and says he’s out of bug spray for all the fleas around here. A tag match is proposed for next week: Storm/Moose vs. Lashley/Lambert himself (with Lambert describing himself as the biggest heel in professional wrestling today).
Side note: how worthless of an appearance did Stephan Bonnar have? He showed up, wrecked an MMA gym and then had a horrible match before leaving. Again I’d love an explanation for why it wasn’t just Lashley vs. Moose in the cage at the pay per view. Novelty maybe? The idea that this company doesn’t think anything of its own roster and thinks they need guest stars?
We get a commercial for Park Park and Park law offices, including Joseph’s cousin Chandler, who is better known as indy wrestler Ethan Page.
Here’s the end of Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe from Genesis 2006. That should have been the main event of Bound For Glory 2007 but why waste time when you can make it clear that the former WWE guy is better than one of your best guys? I also wouldn’t point out how much hotter the crowds were eleven years ago.
Johnny Impact calls Alberto a speed bump on the road to the World Title. Tonight, Alberto goes to Slam Town.
Eli Drake and Chris Adonis are ready for Alberto or Johnny. They run into Jimmy Jacobs but nothing is said.
Ethan Carter III comes out for commentary.
Tyson Dux vs. Matt Sydal
Sydal takes him into the ropes to start before hitting a standing legdrop for two. A reverse Muta Lock has Dux holding his knee but Dux kicks at Sydal’s knee to even things out. Dux gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and we hit a Boston crab. That goes nowhere so Sydal kicks him in the face and gets two off a standing moonsault. Dux breaks up the shooting star and grabs a running DDT for two of his own. Sydal’s jumping knee to the face sets up the shooting star (with Dux taking a very long roll over to the corner) for the pin at 5:44.
Video on Johnny vs. Alberto.
Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron
Alberto wastes no time in taking Johnny down but Johnny pounds him out to the floor without too much effort. A good looking corkscrew dive over the top drops Alberto again. Some kicks to the chest have Johnny in trouble and Alberto throws Johnny’s sunglasses into the crowd. Alberto has a seat on the top rope and is greeted with a WE DON’T LIKE YOU chant. Well at least the fans get to the point. Johnny gets sent over the top in another heap and we take a break.
Back with Alberto in a chinlock after being crushed underneath the steps during the commercial. Alberto misses a top rope ax handle and gets kicked in the face for a double knockdown. Johnny wins a slugout and ducks the corner enziguri. A second kick to the face connects though and Johnny is staggered.
The armbreaker is broken up though and the Flying Chuck drops Alberto for a near fall. Starship Pain is broken up as well and Alberto’s reverse superplex gets two more. Alberto can’t hit the top rope double stomp (good) so Johnny hits one to Alberto’s back for a close two. The Countdown to Impact misses and OF COURSE the ref gets bumped.
A low blow cuts Johnny off but can’t put him away. Instead Alberto ties him in the Tree of Woe and tries to put Johnny’s wrist tape in Johnny’s mouth. That goes nowhere so here’s Drake for a distraction. Alberto decks him with a right hand and belt shot but gets pulled back in by a sitting up Johnny. Starship Pain gives Johnny the pin at 19:53.
Post match Drake and Adonis beat on Johnny until Petey Williams makes the save to end the show.
Results
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli and Madison Rayne – Unprettier to Spinelli
Taiji Ishimori b. Hakim Zane – 450
Sami Callihan b. Randy Myers – Lariat
James Storm b. Texano – Last Call
Matt Sydal b. Tyson Dux – Shooting star press
Johnny Impact b. Alberto El Patron – Starship Pain
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Wind-up knee
Samoa Joe b. Titus O’Neil – Koquina Clutch
Bray Wyatt b. Matt Hardy – Sister Abigail
Rich Swann b. Ariya Daivari, Akira Tozawa and Noam Dar – Phoenix splash to Dar
Roman Reigns b. Elias – Spear
Asuka b. Dana Brooke – Cross armbreaker
Kane b. Jason Jordan via countout
Finn Balor b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Smackdown
New Day b. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable – Backbreaker/top rope double stomp combination to Benjamin
Bludgeon Brothers b. Hype Bros – Double spinebuster to Ryder
AJ Styles b. Singh Brothers – Super Styles Clash
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Naomi/Natalya – Riot Kick to Charlotte
Kevin Owens b. Randy Orton – Frog splash
NXT
Street Profits b. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss – Frog splash to Sabbatelli
Kairi Sane b. Peyton Royce – Insane Elbow
Tyler Bate/Trent Seven b. Mark Andrews/Pete Dunne – Tyler Driver 97 to Dunne
Impact Wrestling
Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli and Madison Rayne – Unprettier to Spinelli
Taiji Ishimori b. Hakim Zane – 450
Sami Callihan b. Randy Myers – Lariat
James Storm b. Texano – Last Call
Matt Sydal b. Tyson Dux – Shooting star press
Johnny Impact b. Alberto El Patron – Starship Pain