klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.99, up just a bit on last week's rating.
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
Guest Host: Jonah Hill
We're past Survivor Series and it's officially the road to Mania. The next PPV is TLC and I think that's 4 weeks away. Rock/Cena won, which means absolutely nothing but Rock did look awesome in the ring so I guess there's that. Also we have the title on Punk which should at least be more entertaining. There's a guest host here tonight I think. Let's get to it.
Theme song opens us up. It sounds like they're saying Woo Woo Woo during the transtional parts.
Punk opens the arena part of the show and he gets a nice pop. Good to see that he can get those when he's not with Cena. He talks about being in first grade and having his teacher asking him what they wanted to do. Various people said stuff like a police officer, fireman, etc. He of course wanted to be a professional wrestler, and here he is: the guy that won the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden last night.
He did this on his own terms and this is all he ever wanted to do. Now he wants to be the bringer of change. Punk sits down in the ring and talks about the ice cream bars. Now he wants to get rid of Johnny Ace, which draws out the skateboard man himself. Ace says nothing of note so let's get back to Punk talking. Punk talks about how greedy Vince is while Ace is the stereotypical middle man, like the guy from Office Space.
Punk criticizes the term WWE Universe. They're FANS. PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!!!! Next week it's Del Rio vs. Punk for the title. Punk makes fun of him for that so it's Ziggler vs. Punk tonight. Punk: “That's not a good idea or innovative. That's stupid.” The fans want to see Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. Ryder is busy tonight vs. Del Rio. Punk starts walking up the ramp towards Ace and some day he's coming for Ace himself.
Last night after the PPV went off the air, the fans chanted for Ryder while Rock was in the ring. Think about that: the Rock is in the ring in MADISON SQUARE GARDEN and the fans want Zack Ryder. Rock said he was a fan. Sweet goodness man. PUSH THE GUY ALREADY!
Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder breaks up the intro by Ricardo. I don't get the point of the booking here. Think about it: Del Rio is #1 contender and Ryder is over like free beer. Why do we need to have this match? One has to lose and Ryder needs to get a win here but Del Rio is already on a losing streak. Why not someone like Morrison here? Instead they've come up with the booking already and screw the fans and what they want. And they wonder why their numbers are falling through the floor. Ryder starts his comeback but is sent into the buckle and the armbreaks officially squashes him at 2:26. I hate this company at times. I do.
Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger
Jack tries amateur stuff but Sheamus easily powers him to the floor where Swagger is frustrated. From what I've been told, the Twitter thing flashed static and the words “It Begins” was in there instead. Interesting. Swagger takes over with the Vader Bomb and we go to the back for a double armbar. Sheamus starts his comeback but the shoulder off the top misses. Brogue Kick is countered into the ankle lock which is kicked off and the kick ends this at 4:35.
Nash is up next.
Nash comes out and talks about MSG and how important it is here. He talks about the Curtain Call (look it up) and how HHH should have come back and it should have been them in the main event. But instead the Cerebral Assassin is gone at the hands of Nash. He says he's the survivor of the group.
Here's Cody, who says he's unbeatable and he's unrepentent. This brings out....oh give me a break it brings out Santino.
Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes
The Canaditalian avoids the Russian from the American but there's the Cross Rhodes for the pin at 1:03.
Post match Cody goes after Booker, yelling about various stuff. I've heard this was the feud for the next few weeks so here we are. Booker gets water thrown thrown in his face and Cody walks out.
Ziggy is in the back and says he won two matches (he was eliminated but he was still on the winning team) and was the only one that did so. He's the new face of WWE and will prove it to Punk next.
Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk
They head to the mat to start and there isn't much to say so far. Ziggler beats him down for a good while and this is getting a solid amount of time given how slow they're going. Punk tries a sleeper but Dolph takes over again. Booker calls him the Zig Zag man to get on my nerves. Ziggler keeps the advantage as we go to a break.
Back with Ziggy still in control but Punk fights back. Into the GTS attempt but it's countered into the sleeper. Again it's the Zig Zag Man line from Booker to get on my nerves again. That doesn't work since Punk is a face and here's comeback #2. He sets for the Macho elbow but Ziggy grows a brain and MOVES OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE PUNK JUMPS. Why is that so complex?
Dolph kicks his freaking head off with a slick dropkick and they go up. Punk knocks him down and there's the elbow. It only gets two because it's a middle of the match move. There needs to be more pins off non-finishers. GTS is countered into another throwing kind of move for a close two. Zig Zag is countered into the GTS for the pin at 16:30.
Here's Show to talk about Henry. Henry is coming back, Show still wants to fight him, same old same Show.
The Divas do the same stuff but it's about WWE 12 this time. Next.
Kane return promo. The mask is included for no apparent reason.
Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston
Barrett says the next thing in his sights is the world title. Barrett beats him down for awhile but as he loads up Wasteland, here's Orton for the distraction. Wade freaks and drops Kofi. He manages to bail before the Trouble in Paradise as we go to a break. Back with Kofi in a chinlock as Randy is sitting at ringside. I like how they're actually setting up Orton as a natural progression of a story instead of just rushing it.
Boss Man Slam (BIG one too) puts Kofi down down for two. Barrett pounds him down and hooks his bow and arrow hold. This is a pretty uninteresting match. Oh and I forgot to mention: Lawler has a bad voice due to last night so he can barely talk. Out to the floor and Kofi hits a huge dive to take over. Boom Drop hits but a corner splash misses. Kofi loads up the springboard cross body but Wade kicks the rope and Wasteland ends this clean at 11:34.
Barrett announces himself as the winner to rub it in on Orton, who teases an attack but declines.
Here's Cena for the ending segment. The people boo as you would expect. He talks about how a lot has changed in the last 24 hours (Ryder Twitter plug), including us having proof that he and Rock can team up. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles after they get a mention here. Also last night Rock proved that he's still got it, which means Mania will be exactly what it should be.
This brings out Awesome Truth with Miz talking about how the fans didn't want to see Cena last night. Truth says Cena is in his own world and Mania will be awful for him. Cena cuts them off and says we learned that Rock still has it and that no one cares about Awesome Truth at all. Cena tries to put some tension between Awesome Truth and neither of them are too happy with it.
Cena leaves and says they should be booing themselves. They get in each others' faces and argue, resulting in a shove by Miz and a punch by Truth. Miz begs off and says let's go get Cena, then jumps Truth as they head up the ramp. A Finale on the ramp (head didn't hit) ends the show.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.24, about the same as last week's three hour show.
Smackdown will be live next week with Foley as guest host.
The Slammys will be on 12/12.
Bison Smith, a name a few of you may recognize, died of a heart attack in Puerto Rico. He was 38.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: November 23, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matt Striker, William Regal
It's the Thanksgiving week show and the show is somehow back up to three finalists. Only this show could go from two finalists to three to two to three again and take a few months to do so. This is the 38th episode of the season, putting this on the verge of being as long as the first three seasons combined. I thought just the third was ridiculous but this passed that long ago. Let's get to it.
Here's Young to open the show with I believe new music. We get a clip of Young beating up O'Neil and his finisher is called the Gut Check. It's the fireman's carry into a double knee to the ribs. Young says this is his show and wants to know where the people were last week when he beat O'Neil down. Is there a difference between being beaten up and being beaten down? He says his usual stuff about how he's done a ton of stuff and how O'Neil hasn't done anything.
Cue Reks and Hawkins of all people who say that the only thing Young accomplished was jumping Titus, which they've done a bunch of times. They're impressed with Young and say they're very similar. They think he has the It Factor but here are O'Neil and Watson. They make fun of Reks' lack of charisma and cut Young off. Titus talks about getting eliminated a year ago in this town but he's back to show his agenda. There's the brawl but Striker makes O'Neil/Watson vs. Reks/Young.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis
Bateman and Maxine are on commentary for no apparent reason. We talk about the wedding and then realize that's stupid so we talk about Johnny Curtis. That makes it stupider so let's talk about the wedding again. Regal offers to explain the misery of being married, since he's been married 16 times. Regal talks about Bateman's mother in law and implies sex. He even admits they're ignoring the match. Can't fault him for lying.
Curtis goes to the apron for a slingshot legdrop and shakes his hips at Maxine. Regal: “I think that was for me. At my age you have to take what you can get.” Suplex gets two for Curtis. Bateman makes another joke about Curtis and Maxine dating so they walk off. The wedding is in eight weeks, which I guess means we'll be here until January. Yoshi fires off the chops and a spinwheel kick puts Johnny down. The top rope spinwheel kick ends this at 4:35.
Bateman goes to the ring post match but doesn't attack Curtis.
Maxine and Bateman argue more in the back about what Curtis did during the date. She cancels sex until future notice. Curtis comes in and implies Maxine wants him.
Here are the Usos who do their dance before their promo. Jimmy talks about being nervous every time they come out here. They represent every Samoan ever in wrestling history. Jey talks about people like Yokozuna, the Wild Samoans, Umaga (didn't expect to hear that name) and Rikishi. They talk about how Uso means brother but saying Us (pronounced Oos) can mean friend, close person, etc. They start a call and response chant with the audience of we say Us, you say O, which gets a surprisingly strong response. The fans like these guys.
This brings out JTG and Tamina, who says this isn't about heritage because she's an independent woman. Let's have a match.
JTG vs. Jimmy Uso
Jimmy knocks him to the floor quickly so he can glare at Tamina a bit. Off to a chinlock by JTG as we list off the huge Samoan family tree. Stinger style splash in the corner hits JTG and there's the running him smash in the corner, which is credited to Rikishi but it's an Umaga move I believe. A superkick and frog splash are enough for the pin at 3:50.
Percy Watson/Titus O'Neil vs. Darren Young/Tyler Reks
Young vs. Watson gets us going. My goodness what a difference a gimmick change makes for Watson. O'Neil comes in and Young runs. He's now the Big Deal Titus O'Neil. Reks talks trash so Titus hammers him in the face. This goes on for awhile until Watson comes in and cleans house. The heels go to the floor so Percy dives onto them as we take a break. Back with Titus getting two on Reks off a move we don't see.
Back to Watson who doesn't do as well. We talk about Bateman getting a Smackdown contract and we hear about how this season is about getting to one of the main shows. So at least there's no talk of season 6. Regal talks about WWE 12. “I HAVE ABS!!!” Young hooks a chinlock on Watson to eat up some time. Gordbuster gets two for Reks. There's your double tag to Young and O'Neil but Hawkins throws in the cane, so that the Gut Check can end Titus at 11:00.
Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Johnny Curtis – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Jimmy Uso b. JTG – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Tyler Reks b. Percy Watson/Tyler Reks – Gut Check to O'Neil
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
It's Turkey Day here in the Impact Zone and that usually means a pretty fun show from these guys. There's always the chance of the return of the turkey suit which thankfully isn't coming out of a huge egg and dancing with a bald interviewer. Expect a bit more build towards Final Resolution but the majority of things should be a bit lighter tonight, which is fine. Let's get to it.
We open with a video of last week with Storm looking for his attacker with Angle being the reveal at the end of the show. There's still tension between Storm and AJ.
Here's Angle, who along with Storm will captain teams for an elimination tag later. On Thanksgiving? You don't say! Kurt says it wasn't an attack from behind. James just didn't see him coming. Cue Storm who says this is beyond personal. It's business now and if Angle says he won't jump someone from behind, here's his chance to fight face to face. Angle says this is about Storm stealing the title from Angle so Angle cost him the title in Georgia. Immortal plus Daniels comes out so Storm SHOWS HE HAS A BRAIN by hitting Angle once and running. Anderson, AJ and RVD come out for the big brawl.
Eric Young brings an old referee back on a homemade bicycle. Rudy Charles brings out the turkey suit.
We recap Mexican America losing the tag titles last week to Morgan/Crimson.
Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan
A big brawl to start is won by the champions and it's down to Anarquia vs. Morgan. The beating begins as the champions pound him down. A double chokeslam ends this in 1:57. Total squash.
Eric Young says Sting has said there's officially a turkey suit challenge later on. It's a regular match and the loser has to wear the suit. Rob Terry gives him a pat down and says he's not on the list. If Robbie doesn't do it, he's stripped of the title. The Robs go to find Sting and Young admits Sting didn't say any of that.
Here are Karen and her associates. She calls out five of the Knockouts (Tara, Tessmacher, Winter, Angelina and Velvet) and gets them very quickly. The fans want a rematch but the fans (according to Karen) want more skin. Tonight it's the first lingerie ball.
The face Knockouts whine about the match. Yeah.....I'd buy that if the pigeons weren't always being let loose.
The heel Knockouts are happy when Mickie comes in to yell at Gail in private. They leave the door open and Mickie yells at Gail for going against whatever she said when she wasn't in there. Mickie gets beaten down.
Angelina Love/Winter/Madison Rayne vs. Tara/Velvet Sky/Brooke Tessmacher
They're all in lingerie/thongs. The anger over it isn't working at all but they look good. Scratch the thongs actually. It's a regular six person tag. Winter shows off and looks good like that. Tessmacher rips her shirt off and is in the exact same thing she wrestles in. For chicks that are ticked off, they don't seem to mind posing on the ropes. Velvet is in less clothing than usual. They have a pose off until FINALLY the evil ones jump them. There's a quick commercial as Tara and Winter get us going.
Back with the good chicks in control and Tessmacher gives Winter a Stink Face. Yeah we get it: it's embarrassing or whatever. Do an actual move please. Tessmacher gets beaten down as Taz is talking about Helen Keller. Madison is far more covered than she usually is. Hot tag finally brings in Velvet and house is cleaned. Madison grabs a belt but Mickie comes out for the save. Velvet's bad facebuster ends this at 13:18.
Here's Hardy in a mask but it's actually Jeff Jarrett. He wants to know why the fans love Hardy. Is it because he looks like a clown? Perhaps the bizarre promos or the stupid chances he takes for the fans. Jarrett wants Hardy's fans to grow up and embarrass the company they work for. Here's Hardy at a full sprint to beat down Jarrett. Immortal plus Daniels makes the save. Immortal comes out (plus Daniels and Roode....oh no) and here's Team Storm for the save. Jarrett sends Hardy into the steps and then does it again. Immortal stands tall.
We get a history of the turkey suit match which is one of those funny things that you can get in wrestling.
Robbie E vs. Eric Young
Robbie jumps him on the floor and beats up the turkey suit also. This is non title. Rudy counts really slowly. He won't drop the suit for the count and we're in a total comedy match here. Robbie gets what was presumably loaded punch for the pin at 2:14. The referee sees it and reverses the decision. Oh wait he restarts the match. Robbie shoves the referee and a piledriver ends this clean. Total comedy match and there isn't a thing wrong with that.
Big Rob has to put on the suit because Robbie is out cold.
Rudy and Eric train for next year on a bike but Rudy crashes.
Team Angle vs. Team Storm
AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy
Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Christopher Daniels, Bobby Roode
There's been talk all night about Hardy being on the team but he's not mentioned here. Storm is in street clothes. Oh wait Angle and Storm aren't wrestling. Ok then. So it's 4-3? This is an elimination style match so it's Survivor Series rules. Roode sits in on commentary because he's not loose yet. AJ vs. Daniels gets us off because we need something new. After nothing of note happens there it's off to Jarrett vs. Anderson.
Van Dam comes in and this is starting pretty slowly. Rob gets caught in the corner and Ray takes over on him with a splash. Not hot tag to Anderson who takes over with some elbows and a neckbreaker for two. Ray hits a Rock Bottom and Roode heads to the ring. He steals a tag and gets the pin on Anderson to make it 4-3 or 4-2 depending on how you look at it.
Here's AJ to speed things way up with a backdrop. I think the ankle is ok now. Roode hits him low right in front of the referee for....not a DQ. Ok yeah it was but there was no bell. Ah there's the announcement. We take a break as Daniels pounds on AJ. Back with Ray coming in to beat down AJ even more. AJ counters Angel's Wings into a rana and then the Pele puts Daniels down.
Hot tag brings in RVD who cleans house with various kicks. Rolling Thunder puts Daniels down but Angle breaks up the Five Star. He and Storm fight up the ramp but RVD gets rolled up and pinned to make it 3-1. Daniels is bleeding from the mouth. It's a 3-1 beatdown and Ray tells Daniels to give him the moonsault. It eats knees/feet because Ray shouted GIVE HIM THE MOONSAULT. Ray accidentally takes out Jarrett and a Pele puts Ray down.
Cue Hardy as all four are down. He's pulling his pants up as he comes out. What was he doing before that??? Hardy slips on the apron as he comes out but there's the hot tag anyway. He cleans house and the Twist takes out Daniels to tie things up. Twist to Jarrett is countered so Hardy gets a small package to take him out instead. A HUGE boot takes Hardy down for two and Jarrett hammers on Hardy a bit more. AJ makes a blind tag and hits the forearm on Ray to win it at 18:45.
Roode lays out both winners with the belt post match.
Results
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Mexican America – Double chokeslam to Anarquia
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Velvet Sky b. Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne – BeauDT to Rayne
Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver
Team Storm b. Team Angle last eliminating Bully Ray
Friday
Smackdown
Date: November 25, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
After Survivor Series it looks like we're moving closer to Show vs. Henry III at TLC. The build up for it looks like it'll be a chair match which is fine as I don't want to see them in a ladder match. Other than that, I'm not sure what else we could see on the show tonight. Hopefully the show before the live one next week should be good. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Show vs. Henry at the PPV and Show breaking Mark's leg post match.
Here's Henry to open the show, on crutches. He talks about pain and says he's hurt but not broken. The fans aren't all that enthused with him. A champion fights through pain, but he can't compete tonight due to Teddy Long. Here comes Big Show who complains about Henry intentionally lost but next time....and Henry says there won't be a next time. They stare it down and Show knocks him out cold.
HERE'S BRYAN!!! HE CASHES IN THE CASE AND GETS THE TITLE (AFTER ROLLING HENRY OVER LIKE A BURRITO)!!! Cole loses his mind and calls Bryan a hypocrite as Bryan nearly breaks the title throwing it around so much. HUGE pop for the title change, but since the fans are interested in that, here's Teddy to say that Henry wasn't awake so it didn't count. I guess if you cripple Bryan's continuity you have to keep the MITB continuity to balance things out.
Cole's celebration is great, cheering Teddy on the entire time. Henry gets up and takes the title back before leaving. Bryan gets the case back but is really ticked off. However, Teddy gives him the consolation of putting him in the main event with Barrett, Rhodes and Orton in a fatal fourway #1 contender match for the world title shot next Tuesday.
Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico
The title match next week is in a cage and Big Show gets the title shot at TLC. Hunico takes over and the announcers are ignoring everything going on in the match. Time for a chinlock and this match is far more boring than you would expect it to be. A slingshot dropkick puts Gabriel in the corner but he fights back and hits a corkscrew plancha to the floor. A Lionsault gets two. They go up to the corner where Gabriel gets knocked off. A Swanton Bomb ends this at 4:22.
Video on the European tour. Punk: “I can't pronounce any of the cities we went to.”
Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. AJ/Kaitlyn
Think this will be a squash? It's the blue show so that means the evil ones will dominate. Alicia is on commentary with them here. Kaitlyn vs. Nattie gets us going and the Canadian one is in some trouble. I don't see this lasting. Off to AJ and there goes the advantage. A rollup gets two for the smaller one. And there's the Sharpshooter for the tap at 1:04. Kaitlyn doesn't break it up that quickly.
The heels do the double beatdown post match and the CRY thing until Alicia makes the save. Kaitlyn isn't really interested.
Kane is still coming back in the mask. My question about this is based on an old Chris Rock line: “We know what you look like!”
Teddy is in his office and says Foley is going to host next week. Cue the still hot Aksana who asks about mistletoe. Henry comes in to complain and says he's injured. Teddy says he needs a huge main event and the doctors said Mark is ready to go. Henry gets all mad and we're told it's a cage match, which Matthews told us earlier. Mark is all mad and says Teddy will get his.
Sheamus and Ryder says they'll be Broskis after Ryder gets the title. He sings a techno version of Sheamus' song and Big Pasty gets all mad. Then he smiles and Ryder can breathe again.
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Zack Ryder
Ryder comes out, and for the first time ever I see a star in him. Sheamus and Ziggler get us going and it's a pretty nice chess game with both guys looking for control but not being able to get anything past a few seconds worth. Off to Swagger (two time world champion according to Josh) who takes the ten forearms in the ropes. Ziggler tries to cheat so Ryder goes aerial with a flip dive to the floor as we take a break.
Back to Sheamus who hits the slingshot shoulder block. He nearly botched it as he jumped late so his legs landed on the ropes for the most part. Swagger manages to get in a shot to bring Ziggy back in and momentum shifts again. Back to Jack very quickly but he misses the Vader Bomb. You know, he doesn't do much very well anymore. Off to Ryder but Swagger doesn't tag.
Broski Boot hits and everyone heads to the floor. Ryder beats up both guys on his own until the numbers finally catch up with him so that Swagger can hammer away a bit more. The fans cheer for Ryder as Ziggler's elbow gets two. A double team Fameasser gets two on Ryder and a surprisingly big pop for the save by Sheamus. Dropkick gets two for the US Champion.
This match is getting some solid time. Swagger takes a cheap shot on Sheamus to draw him in with some solid tag team strategy. He puts Ryder on the top rope and slaps him. That wakes up the Jersey Shore dude, allowing him to get in a shot from the middle rope for the double tag. Sheamus vs. Ziggler now with Sheamus in total control. Swagger breaks up the High Cross as Ryder makes a blind tag. Brogue Kick puts Swagger down and the Rough Ryder pins Ziggler again at 12:20 shown of 16:50.
Bryan complains to AJ about having it taken away earlier from him. Barrett comes up and runs his mouth so Bryan tells him off. He leaves and AJ kisses Bryan on the cheek.
Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater
Hey Slater still has a job. Who knew? Just after the bell, Jinder Mahal pops up on the screen and says something in whatever language that is. He complains about DiBiase hanging out with commoners in the parking lot like he's been doing lately. Slater jumps DiBiase and we get going. We talk about Tim Tebow for a bit as Slater hammers away. He works on the arm a lot and the announcers ignore them. And never mind as Dream Street ends this at 4:50.
DiBiase takes a knee in prayer after the match.
We get a clip of Rhodes throwing the water in Booker's face on Monday. Rhodes says he didn't like hiding behind a mask and now he's free to do whatever he wants to do.
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett
Winner gets Henry in a cage next week for the title and this is one fall to a finish. Barrett and Orton fight in the ring as Bryan and Rhodes go to the floor. Now we get to an interesting showdown with Orton vs. Bryan. And there's a commercial before there's any contact made at all. The pairings that started the match are back again, this time with the locations reversed.
The heels double team Bryan until it's back to the two big stars. Orton escapes the pumphandle slam but Rhodes helps the Brit out and the double teaming continues. Bryan comes back with a missile dropkick but what appears to be a top rope rana attempt is countered into a Doomsday Device by Rhodes and Barrett for two. We take another break and come back to see Orton get two on Rhodes via a suplex.
A big boot puts Orton on the floor and a Boss Man Slam gets two on Bryan. The Beautiful Disaster gets two on him as well. Rhodes is sent to the floor so Bryan hits a big suicide dive to put him down. Orton comes back in and loads up his ending sequence on Barrett. Bryan kicks Orton's head off for two. Rhodes takes over on Orton for a bit but Randy fights back and pulls off a superplex but Barrett comes in to steal the two count.
Everyone is down in the ring but Orton gets up first. He throws the heels to the floor and hooks the elevated DDT on Bryan. Here comes the RKO but Barrett pulls him to the floor and plants him with a DDT. Cody tries to steal the pin on Bryan but Bryan reverses itno the LeBell Lock for the nearly instant tap at 11:47 shown of 18:47.
Rhodes beats down Bryan but walks into an RKO.
Results
Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to AJ
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder to Ziggler
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater – Dream Street
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton, Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes – LeBell Lock to Rhodes
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: November 26, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
We close out November with this one and to be honest I can't say I care in the slightest. Unless things pick WAY up next month, I think I'm dropping this at the end of the year. There's no enjoyment for me about it at all and I don't see this show getting any better anytime soon. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's strike fest which drove me crazy. Literally in the whole package there's nothing in the form of a hold fro the champion other than the ankle lock which goes against the entire psychology he's going with. I can't stand Richards as champion. I really can't.
The Briscoes talk about Haas/Benjamin and the All Night Express, who they say they'll take out to get the titles back at Final Battle. They're going to take out Coleman and Alexander tonight.
Coleman and Alexander say they're not people just to be run over.
Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Briscoe Brothers
The idea is that Haas/Benjamin took 13 minutes to beat Coleman/Alexander and the Briscoes say they can do it faster. I still have no idea if the Briscoes are faces or heels, or how to spell their names for that matter. Jay Briscoe vs. Alexander starts us off. We're told about ROH on Twitter and using the hashtag WatchROH. What a third rate promotion. Instead of saying random catchphrases, they're telling people to watch their show. What lunkheads.
The not-famous team starts off hot, sending the Briscoes to the floor and hitting stereo dives. The Briscoes are in trouble here until they realize they're the most famous tag team ever in the company....and there goes the referee. Here are Haas/Benjamin with chairs and the it's thrown out at about 3:20. A lot of that was the chase out of the ring so I'm not going to bother rating it. This was just filler until we got to the run-in.
Michael Elgin vs. Raphael Constantine/Sean Casey
The jobbers are from ROH. Truth Martini is on commentary. And now he's off after saying he's going after Eddie Edwards instead of Richards. I have no idea what you're expecting to see here. It's an exhibition by Elgin to dominate people who have nothing to do with the product and company for the most part. He no sells everything and gets Casey on his own. Ok now this is going too long as they're kicking out of stuff. Elgin tries a backdrop on Constantine but drops him on his head. Then he picks them both up at the same time for a double Alabama Slam, pinning both at 5:03. Ok the finisher was cool.
Cornette thinks he's ready to offer Kevin Steen a settlement. Next week he wants Steen, Jimmy Jacobs, the attorney and Steve Corino in the ring where he'll make the offer.
Inside ROH is a video on Dan Severn, who is an MMA master and a UFC Hall of Famer, because wrestling fans want to see MMA right? Edwards says this was a secret but it wasn't stolen from Davey. Davey went to Japan and that's not Edwards' fault. Severn talks forever and we talk about Best in the World for the 19th time this week.
Now Roderick Strong runs his mouth a bit because that's what Roderick Strong does anymore.
TV Title: El Generico vs. Jay Lethal
This is a rematch from when Lethal won the title on I think the first episode. Bennett and Evans come out to watch the match. They exchange feeling out process stuff to start and fly around the ring a little bit. Generico is faster here but not by much. Generico takes over and hits what we would call Starship Pain for two. He gets sent to the floor and misses a moonsault off the barricade, allowing Lethal to pop him with a superkick as we take a break.
Back with lethal hooking a hold which is similar to a surfboard. The camera was on Bennett and Evans so it's not like we got to see it or anything. There's nothing to talk about here. Lethal does some stuff, Generico does some stuff. Generico hits a Mafia kick in the corner and we have about three minutes to go, which is accurate for once.
Lethal hits a handspring ala Tajiri into a cutter. Bennett picks up the TV Title belt and puts it on which doesn't seem to mean much. They speed things way up and Lethal is knocked to the floor. Bennett taunts him and we finally get a brawl between them. Lethal drills him and takes Generico down back in the ring. He loads up the top rope elbow but Bennett gets the referee and it's a time limit draw at 15:00.
Generico hits a big dive to all three of them and we're told the title picture is now a three way race. You mean we're including a guy that got beat and then was beaten again here but didn't get pinned because the referee was distracted? Why is he involved in it?
Results
Briscoe Brothers vs. Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander went to a no contest
Michael Elgin b. Raphael Constantine/Sean Casey – Double Alabama Slam
El Generico vs. Jay Lethal went to a time limit draw
Sunday
Nothing today.
Quick Results
Raw
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland
NXT
Yoshi Tatsu b. Johnny Curtis – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Jimmy Uso b. JTG – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Tyler Reks b. Percy Watson/Tyler Reks – Gut Check to O'Neil
Impact Wrestling
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Mexican America – Double chokeslam to Anarquia
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Velvet Sky b. Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne – BeauDT to Rayne
Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver
Team Storm b. Team Angle last eliminating Bully Ray
Smackdown
Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to AJ
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder to Ziggler
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater – Dream Street
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton, Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes – LeBell Lock to Rhodes
Ring of Honor
Briscoe Brothers vs. Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander went to a no contest
Michael Elgin b. Raphael Constantine/Sean Casey – Double Alabama Slam
El Generico vs. Jay Lethal went to a time limit draw
Smackdown got a 1.99, up just a bit on last week's rating.
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
Guest Host: Jonah Hill
We're past Survivor Series and it's officially the road to Mania. The next PPV is TLC and I think that's 4 weeks away. Rock/Cena won, which means absolutely nothing but Rock did look awesome in the ring so I guess there's that. Also we have the title on Punk which should at least be more entertaining. There's a guest host here tonight I think. Let's get to it.
Theme song opens us up. It sounds like they're saying Woo Woo Woo during the transtional parts.
Punk opens the arena part of the show and he gets a nice pop. Good to see that he can get those when he's not with Cena. He talks about being in first grade and having his teacher asking him what they wanted to do. Various people said stuff like a police officer, fireman, etc. He of course wanted to be a professional wrestler, and here he is: the guy that won the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden last night.
He did this on his own terms and this is all he ever wanted to do. Now he wants to be the bringer of change. Punk sits down in the ring and talks about the ice cream bars. Now he wants to get rid of Johnny Ace, which draws out the skateboard man himself. Ace says nothing of note so let's get back to Punk talking. Punk talks about how greedy Vince is while Ace is the stereotypical middle man, like the guy from Office Space.
Punk criticizes the term WWE Universe. They're FANS. PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!!!! Next week it's Del Rio vs. Punk for the title. Punk makes fun of him for that so it's Ziggler vs. Punk tonight. Punk: “That's not a good idea or innovative. That's stupid.” The fans want to see Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. Ryder is busy tonight vs. Del Rio. Punk starts walking up the ramp towards Ace and some day he's coming for Ace himself.
Last night after the PPV went off the air, the fans chanted for Ryder while Rock was in the ring. Think about that: the Rock is in the ring in MADISON SQUARE GARDEN and the fans want Zack Ryder. Rock said he was a fan. Sweet goodness man. PUSH THE GUY ALREADY!
Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder breaks up the intro by Ricardo. I don't get the point of the booking here. Think about it: Del Rio is #1 contender and Ryder is over like free beer. Why do we need to have this match? One has to lose and Ryder needs to get a win here but Del Rio is already on a losing streak. Why not someone like Morrison here? Instead they've come up with the booking already and screw the fans and what they want. And they wonder why their numbers are falling through the floor. Ryder starts his comeback but is sent into the buckle and the armbreaks officially squashes him at 2:26. I hate this company at times. I do.
Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger
Jack tries amateur stuff but Sheamus easily powers him to the floor where Swagger is frustrated. From what I've been told, the Twitter thing flashed static and the words “It Begins” was in there instead. Interesting. Swagger takes over with the Vader Bomb and we go to the back for a double armbar. Sheamus starts his comeback but the shoulder off the top misses. Brogue Kick is countered into the ankle lock which is kicked off and the kick ends this at 4:35.
Nash is up next.
Nash comes out and talks about MSG and how important it is here. He talks about the Curtain Call (look it up) and how HHH should have come back and it should have been them in the main event. But instead the Cerebral Assassin is gone at the hands of Nash. He says he's the survivor of the group.
Here's Cody, who says he's unbeatable and he's unrepentent. This brings out....oh give me a break it brings out Santino.
Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes
The Canaditalian avoids the Russian from the American but there's the Cross Rhodes for the pin at 1:03.
Post match Cody goes after Booker, yelling about various stuff. I've heard this was the feud for the next few weeks so here we are. Booker gets water thrown thrown in his face and Cody walks out.
Ziggy is in the back and says he won two matches (he was eliminated but he was still on the winning team) and was the only one that did so. He's the new face of WWE and will prove it to Punk next.
Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk
They head to the mat to start and there isn't much to say so far. Ziggler beats him down for a good while and this is getting a solid amount of time given how slow they're going. Punk tries a sleeper but Dolph takes over again. Booker calls him the Zig Zag man to get on my nerves. Ziggler keeps the advantage as we go to a break.
Back with Ziggy still in control but Punk fights back. Into the GTS attempt but it's countered into the sleeper. Again it's the Zig Zag Man line from Booker to get on my nerves again. That doesn't work since Punk is a face and here's comeback #2. He sets for the Macho elbow but Ziggy grows a brain and MOVES OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE PUNK JUMPS. Why is that so complex?
Dolph kicks his freaking head off with a slick dropkick and they go up. Punk knocks him down and there's the elbow. It only gets two because it's a middle of the match move. There needs to be more pins off non-finishers. GTS is countered into another throwing kind of move for a close two. Zig Zag is countered into the GTS for the pin at 16:30.
Here's Show to talk about Henry. Henry is coming back, Show still wants to fight him, same old same Show.
The Divas do the same stuff but it's about WWE 12 this time. Next.
Kane return promo. The mask is included for no apparent reason.
Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston
Barrett says the next thing in his sights is the world title. Barrett beats him down for awhile but as he loads up Wasteland, here's Orton for the distraction. Wade freaks and drops Kofi. He manages to bail before the Trouble in Paradise as we go to a break. Back with Kofi in a chinlock as Randy is sitting at ringside. I like how they're actually setting up Orton as a natural progression of a story instead of just rushing it.
Boss Man Slam (BIG one too) puts Kofi down down for two. Barrett pounds him down and hooks his bow and arrow hold. This is a pretty uninteresting match. Oh and I forgot to mention: Lawler has a bad voice due to last night so he can barely talk. Out to the floor and Kofi hits a huge dive to take over. Boom Drop hits but a corner splash misses. Kofi loads up the springboard cross body but Wade kicks the rope and Wasteland ends this clean at 11:34.
Barrett announces himself as the winner to rub it in on Orton, who teases an attack but declines.
Here's Cena for the ending segment. The people boo as you would expect. He talks about how a lot has changed in the last 24 hours (Ryder Twitter plug), including us having proof that he and Rock can team up. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles after they get a mention here. Also last night Rock proved that he's still got it, which means Mania will be exactly what it should be.
This brings out Awesome Truth with Miz talking about how the fans didn't want to see Cena last night. Truth says Cena is in his own world and Mania will be awful for him. Cena cuts them off and says we learned that Rock still has it and that no one cares about Awesome Truth at all. Cena tries to put some tension between Awesome Truth and neither of them are too happy with it.
Cena leaves and says they should be booing themselves. They get in each others' faces and argue, resulting in a shove by Miz and a punch by Truth. Miz begs off and says let's go get Cena, then jumps Truth as they head up the ramp. A Finale on the ramp (head didn't hit) ends the show.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.24, about the same as last week's three hour show.
Smackdown will be live next week with Foley as guest host.
The Slammys will be on 12/12.
Bison Smith, a name a few of you may recognize, died of a heart attack in Puerto Rico. He was 38.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: November 23, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matt Striker, William Regal
It's the Thanksgiving week show and the show is somehow back up to three finalists. Only this show could go from two finalists to three to two to three again and take a few months to do so. This is the 38th episode of the season, putting this on the verge of being as long as the first three seasons combined. I thought just the third was ridiculous but this passed that long ago. Let's get to it.
Here's Young to open the show with I believe new music. We get a clip of Young beating up O'Neil and his finisher is called the Gut Check. It's the fireman's carry into a double knee to the ribs. Young says this is his show and wants to know where the people were last week when he beat O'Neil down. Is there a difference between being beaten up and being beaten down? He says his usual stuff about how he's done a ton of stuff and how O'Neil hasn't done anything.
Cue Reks and Hawkins of all people who say that the only thing Young accomplished was jumping Titus, which they've done a bunch of times. They're impressed with Young and say they're very similar. They think he has the It Factor but here are O'Neil and Watson. They make fun of Reks' lack of charisma and cut Young off. Titus talks about getting eliminated a year ago in this town but he's back to show his agenda. There's the brawl but Striker makes O'Neil/Watson vs. Reks/Young.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis
Bateman and Maxine are on commentary for no apparent reason. We talk about the wedding and then realize that's stupid so we talk about Johnny Curtis. That makes it stupider so let's talk about the wedding again. Regal offers to explain the misery of being married, since he's been married 16 times. Regal talks about Bateman's mother in law and implies sex. He even admits they're ignoring the match. Can't fault him for lying.
Curtis goes to the apron for a slingshot legdrop and shakes his hips at Maxine. Regal: “I think that was for me. At my age you have to take what you can get.” Suplex gets two for Curtis. Bateman makes another joke about Curtis and Maxine dating so they walk off. The wedding is in eight weeks, which I guess means we'll be here until January. Yoshi fires off the chops and a spinwheel kick puts Johnny down. The top rope spinwheel kick ends this at 4:35.
Bateman goes to the ring post match but doesn't attack Curtis.
Maxine and Bateman argue more in the back about what Curtis did during the date. She cancels sex until future notice. Curtis comes in and implies Maxine wants him.
Here are the Usos who do their dance before their promo. Jimmy talks about being nervous every time they come out here. They represent every Samoan ever in wrestling history. Jey talks about people like Yokozuna, the Wild Samoans, Umaga (didn't expect to hear that name) and Rikishi. They talk about how Uso means brother but saying Us (pronounced Oos) can mean friend, close person, etc. They start a call and response chant with the audience of we say Us, you say O, which gets a surprisingly strong response. The fans like these guys.
This brings out JTG and Tamina, who says this isn't about heritage because she's an independent woman. Let's have a match.
JTG vs. Jimmy Uso
Jimmy knocks him to the floor quickly so he can glare at Tamina a bit. Off to a chinlock by JTG as we list off the huge Samoan family tree. Stinger style splash in the corner hits JTG and there's the running him smash in the corner, which is credited to Rikishi but it's an Umaga move I believe. A superkick and frog splash are enough for the pin at 3:50.
Percy Watson/Titus O'Neil vs. Darren Young/Tyler Reks
Young vs. Watson gets us going. My goodness what a difference a gimmick change makes for Watson. O'Neil comes in and Young runs. He's now the Big Deal Titus O'Neil. Reks talks trash so Titus hammers him in the face. This goes on for awhile until Watson comes in and cleans house. The heels go to the floor so Percy dives onto them as we take a break. Back with Titus getting two on Reks off a move we don't see.
Back to Watson who doesn't do as well. We talk about Bateman getting a Smackdown contract and we hear about how this season is about getting to one of the main shows. So at least there's no talk of season 6. Regal talks about WWE 12. “I HAVE ABS!!!” Young hooks a chinlock on Watson to eat up some time. Gordbuster gets two for Reks. There's your double tag to Young and O'Neil but Hawkins throws in the cane, so that the Gut Check can end Titus at 11:00.
Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Johnny Curtis – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Jimmy Uso b. JTG – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Tyler Reks b. Percy Watson/Tyler Reks – Gut Check to O'Neil
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
It's Turkey Day here in the Impact Zone and that usually means a pretty fun show from these guys. There's always the chance of the return of the turkey suit which thankfully isn't coming out of a huge egg and dancing with a bald interviewer. Expect a bit more build towards Final Resolution but the majority of things should be a bit lighter tonight, which is fine. Let's get to it.
We open with a video of last week with Storm looking for his attacker with Angle being the reveal at the end of the show. There's still tension between Storm and AJ.
Here's Angle, who along with Storm will captain teams for an elimination tag later. On Thanksgiving? You don't say! Kurt says it wasn't an attack from behind. James just didn't see him coming. Cue Storm who says this is beyond personal. It's business now and if Angle says he won't jump someone from behind, here's his chance to fight face to face. Angle says this is about Storm stealing the title from Angle so Angle cost him the title in Georgia. Immortal plus Daniels comes out so Storm SHOWS HE HAS A BRAIN by hitting Angle once and running. Anderson, AJ and RVD come out for the big brawl.
Eric Young brings an old referee back on a homemade bicycle. Rudy Charles brings out the turkey suit.
We recap Mexican America losing the tag titles last week to Morgan/Crimson.
Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan
A big brawl to start is won by the champions and it's down to Anarquia vs. Morgan. The beating begins as the champions pound him down. A double chokeslam ends this in 1:57. Total squash.
Eric Young says Sting has said there's officially a turkey suit challenge later on. It's a regular match and the loser has to wear the suit. Rob Terry gives him a pat down and says he's not on the list. If Robbie doesn't do it, he's stripped of the title. The Robs go to find Sting and Young admits Sting didn't say any of that.
Here are Karen and her associates. She calls out five of the Knockouts (Tara, Tessmacher, Winter, Angelina and Velvet) and gets them very quickly. The fans want a rematch but the fans (according to Karen) want more skin. Tonight it's the first lingerie ball.
The face Knockouts whine about the match. Yeah.....I'd buy that if the pigeons weren't always being let loose.
The heel Knockouts are happy when Mickie comes in to yell at Gail in private. They leave the door open and Mickie yells at Gail for going against whatever she said when she wasn't in there. Mickie gets beaten down.
Angelina Love/Winter/Madison Rayne vs. Tara/Velvet Sky/Brooke Tessmacher
They're all in lingerie/thongs. The anger over it isn't working at all but they look good. Scratch the thongs actually. It's a regular six person tag. Winter shows off and looks good like that. Tessmacher rips her shirt off and is in the exact same thing she wrestles in. For chicks that are ticked off, they don't seem to mind posing on the ropes. Velvet is in less clothing than usual. They have a pose off until FINALLY the evil ones jump them. There's a quick commercial as Tara and Winter get us going.
Back with the good chicks in control and Tessmacher gives Winter a Stink Face. Yeah we get it: it's embarrassing or whatever. Do an actual move please. Tessmacher gets beaten down as Taz is talking about Helen Keller. Madison is far more covered than she usually is. Hot tag finally brings in Velvet and house is cleaned. Madison grabs a belt but Mickie comes out for the save. Velvet's bad facebuster ends this at 13:18.
Here's Hardy in a mask but it's actually Jeff Jarrett. He wants to know why the fans love Hardy. Is it because he looks like a clown? Perhaps the bizarre promos or the stupid chances he takes for the fans. Jarrett wants Hardy's fans to grow up and embarrass the company they work for. Here's Hardy at a full sprint to beat down Jarrett. Immortal plus Daniels makes the save. Immortal comes out (plus Daniels and Roode....oh no) and here's Team Storm for the save. Jarrett sends Hardy into the steps and then does it again. Immortal stands tall.
We get a history of the turkey suit match which is one of those funny things that you can get in wrestling.
Robbie E vs. Eric Young
Robbie jumps him on the floor and beats up the turkey suit also. This is non title. Rudy counts really slowly. He won't drop the suit for the count and we're in a total comedy match here. Robbie gets what was presumably loaded punch for the pin at 2:14. The referee sees it and reverses the decision. Oh wait he restarts the match. Robbie shoves the referee and a piledriver ends this clean. Total comedy match and there isn't a thing wrong with that.
Big Rob has to put on the suit because Robbie is out cold.
Rudy and Eric train for next year on a bike but Rudy crashes.
Team Angle vs. Team Storm
AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy
Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Christopher Daniels, Bobby Roode
There's been talk all night about Hardy being on the team but he's not mentioned here. Storm is in street clothes. Oh wait Angle and Storm aren't wrestling. Ok then. So it's 4-3? This is an elimination style match so it's Survivor Series rules. Roode sits in on commentary because he's not loose yet. AJ vs. Daniels gets us off because we need something new. After nothing of note happens there it's off to Jarrett vs. Anderson.
Van Dam comes in and this is starting pretty slowly. Rob gets caught in the corner and Ray takes over on him with a splash. Not hot tag to Anderson who takes over with some elbows and a neckbreaker for two. Ray hits a Rock Bottom and Roode heads to the ring. He steals a tag and gets the pin on Anderson to make it 4-3 or 4-2 depending on how you look at it.
Here's AJ to speed things way up with a backdrop. I think the ankle is ok now. Roode hits him low right in front of the referee for....not a DQ. Ok yeah it was but there was no bell. Ah there's the announcement. We take a break as Daniels pounds on AJ. Back with Ray coming in to beat down AJ even more. AJ counters Angel's Wings into a rana and then the Pele puts Daniels down.
Hot tag brings in RVD who cleans house with various kicks. Rolling Thunder puts Daniels down but Angle breaks up the Five Star. He and Storm fight up the ramp but RVD gets rolled up and pinned to make it 3-1. Daniels is bleeding from the mouth. It's a 3-1 beatdown and Ray tells Daniels to give him the moonsault. It eats knees/feet because Ray shouted GIVE HIM THE MOONSAULT. Ray accidentally takes out Jarrett and a Pele puts Ray down.
Cue Hardy as all four are down. He's pulling his pants up as he comes out. What was he doing before that??? Hardy slips on the apron as he comes out but there's the hot tag anyway. He cleans house and the Twist takes out Daniels to tie things up. Twist to Jarrett is countered so Hardy gets a small package to take him out instead. A HUGE boot takes Hardy down for two and Jarrett hammers on Hardy a bit more. AJ makes a blind tag and hits the forearm on Ray to win it at 18:45.
Roode lays out both winners with the belt post match.
Results
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Mexican America – Double chokeslam to Anarquia
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Velvet Sky b. Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne – BeauDT to Rayne
Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver
Team Storm b. Team Angle last eliminating Bully Ray
Friday
Smackdown
Date: November 25, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
After Survivor Series it looks like we're moving closer to Show vs. Henry III at TLC. The build up for it looks like it'll be a chair match which is fine as I don't want to see them in a ladder match. Other than that, I'm not sure what else we could see on the show tonight. Hopefully the show before the live one next week should be good. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Show vs. Henry at the PPV and Show breaking Mark's leg post match.
Here's Henry to open the show, on crutches. He talks about pain and says he's hurt but not broken. The fans aren't all that enthused with him. A champion fights through pain, but he can't compete tonight due to Teddy Long. Here comes Big Show who complains about Henry intentionally lost but next time....and Henry says there won't be a next time. They stare it down and Show knocks him out cold.
HERE'S BRYAN!!! HE CASHES IN THE CASE AND GETS THE TITLE (AFTER ROLLING HENRY OVER LIKE A BURRITO)!!! Cole loses his mind and calls Bryan a hypocrite as Bryan nearly breaks the title throwing it around so much. HUGE pop for the title change, but since the fans are interested in that, here's Teddy to say that Henry wasn't awake so it didn't count. I guess if you cripple Bryan's continuity you have to keep the MITB continuity to balance things out.
Cole's celebration is great, cheering Teddy on the entire time. Henry gets up and takes the title back before leaving. Bryan gets the case back but is really ticked off. However, Teddy gives him the consolation of putting him in the main event with Barrett, Rhodes and Orton in a fatal fourway #1 contender match for the world title shot next Tuesday.
Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico
The title match next week is in a cage and Big Show gets the title shot at TLC. Hunico takes over and the announcers are ignoring everything going on in the match. Time for a chinlock and this match is far more boring than you would expect it to be. A slingshot dropkick puts Gabriel in the corner but he fights back and hits a corkscrew plancha to the floor. A Lionsault gets two. They go up to the corner where Gabriel gets knocked off. A Swanton Bomb ends this at 4:22.
Video on the European tour. Punk: “I can't pronounce any of the cities we went to.”
Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. AJ/Kaitlyn
Think this will be a squash? It's the blue show so that means the evil ones will dominate. Alicia is on commentary with them here. Kaitlyn vs. Nattie gets us going and the Canadian one is in some trouble. I don't see this lasting. Off to AJ and there goes the advantage. A rollup gets two for the smaller one. And there's the Sharpshooter for the tap at 1:04. Kaitlyn doesn't break it up that quickly.
The heels do the double beatdown post match and the CRY thing until Alicia makes the save. Kaitlyn isn't really interested.
Kane is still coming back in the mask. My question about this is based on an old Chris Rock line: “We know what you look like!”
Teddy is in his office and says Foley is going to host next week. Cue the still hot Aksana who asks about mistletoe. Henry comes in to complain and says he's injured. Teddy says he needs a huge main event and the doctors said Mark is ready to go. Henry gets all mad and we're told it's a cage match, which Matthews told us earlier. Mark is all mad and says Teddy will get his.
Sheamus and Ryder says they'll be Broskis after Ryder gets the title. He sings a techno version of Sheamus' song and Big Pasty gets all mad. Then he smiles and Ryder can breathe again.
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Zack Ryder
Ryder comes out, and for the first time ever I see a star in him. Sheamus and Ziggler get us going and it's a pretty nice chess game with both guys looking for control but not being able to get anything past a few seconds worth. Off to Swagger (two time world champion according to Josh) who takes the ten forearms in the ropes. Ziggler tries to cheat so Ryder goes aerial with a flip dive to the floor as we take a break.
Back to Sheamus who hits the slingshot shoulder block. He nearly botched it as he jumped late so his legs landed on the ropes for the most part. Swagger manages to get in a shot to bring Ziggy back in and momentum shifts again. Back to Jack very quickly but he misses the Vader Bomb. You know, he doesn't do much very well anymore. Off to Ryder but Swagger doesn't tag.
Broski Boot hits and everyone heads to the floor. Ryder beats up both guys on his own until the numbers finally catch up with him so that Swagger can hammer away a bit more. The fans cheer for Ryder as Ziggler's elbow gets two. A double team Fameasser gets two on Ryder and a surprisingly big pop for the save by Sheamus. Dropkick gets two for the US Champion.
This match is getting some solid time. Swagger takes a cheap shot on Sheamus to draw him in with some solid tag team strategy. He puts Ryder on the top rope and slaps him. That wakes up the Jersey Shore dude, allowing him to get in a shot from the middle rope for the double tag. Sheamus vs. Ziggler now with Sheamus in total control. Swagger breaks up the High Cross as Ryder makes a blind tag. Brogue Kick puts Swagger down and the Rough Ryder pins Ziggler again at 12:20 shown of 16:50.
Bryan complains to AJ about having it taken away earlier from him. Barrett comes up and runs his mouth so Bryan tells him off. He leaves and AJ kisses Bryan on the cheek.
Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater
Hey Slater still has a job. Who knew? Just after the bell, Jinder Mahal pops up on the screen and says something in whatever language that is. He complains about DiBiase hanging out with commoners in the parking lot like he's been doing lately. Slater jumps DiBiase and we get going. We talk about Tim Tebow for a bit as Slater hammers away. He works on the arm a lot and the announcers ignore them. And never mind as Dream Street ends this at 4:50.
DiBiase takes a knee in prayer after the match.
We get a clip of Rhodes throwing the water in Booker's face on Monday. Rhodes says he didn't like hiding behind a mask and now he's free to do whatever he wants to do.
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett
Winner gets Henry in a cage next week for the title and this is one fall to a finish. Barrett and Orton fight in the ring as Bryan and Rhodes go to the floor. Now we get to an interesting showdown with Orton vs. Bryan. And there's a commercial before there's any contact made at all. The pairings that started the match are back again, this time with the locations reversed.
The heels double team Bryan until it's back to the two big stars. Orton escapes the pumphandle slam but Rhodes helps the Brit out and the double teaming continues. Bryan comes back with a missile dropkick but what appears to be a top rope rana attempt is countered into a Doomsday Device by Rhodes and Barrett for two. We take another break and come back to see Orton get two on Rhodes via a suplex.
A big boot puts Orton on the floor and a Boss Man Slam gets two on Bryan. The Beautiful Disaster gets two on him as well. Rhodes is sent to the floor so Bryan hits a big suicide dive to put him down. Orton comes back in and loads up his ending sequence on Barrett. Bryan kicks Orton's head off for two. Rhodes takes over on Orton for a bit but Randy fights back and pulls off a superplex but Barrett comes in to steal the two count.
Everyone is down in the ring but Orton gets up first. He throws the heels to the floor and hooks the elevated DDT on Bryan. Here comes the RKO but Barrett pulls him to the floor and plants him with a DDT. Cody tries to steal the pin on Bryan but Bryan reverses itno the LeBell Lock for the nearly instant tap at 11:47 shown of 18:47.
Rhodes beats down Bryan but walks into an RKO.
Results
Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to AJ
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder to Ziggler
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater – Dream Street
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton, Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes – LeBell Lock to Rhodes
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: November 26, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
We close out November with this one and to be honest I can't say I care in the slightest. Unless things pick WAY up next month, I think I'm dropping this at the end of the year. There's no enjoyment for me about it at all and I don't see this show getting any better anytime soon. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's strike fest which drove me crazy. Literally in the whole package there's nothing in the form of a hold fro the champion other than the ankle lock which goes against the entire psychology he's going with. I can't stand Richards as champion. I really can't.
The Briscoes talk about Haas/Benjamin and the All Night Express, who they say they'll take out to get the titles back at Final Battle. They're going to take out Coleman and Alexander tonight.
Coleman and Alexander say they're not people just to be run over.
Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Briscoe Brothers
The idea is that Haas/Benjamin took 13 minutes to beat Coleman/Alexander and the Briscoes say they can do it faster. I still have no idea if the Briscoes are faces or heels, or how to spell their names for that matter. Jay Briscoe vs. Alexander starts us off. We're told about ROH on Twitter and using the hashtag WatchROH. What a third rate promotion. Instead of saying random catchphrases, they're telling people to watch their show. What lunkheads.
The not-famous team starts off hot, sending the Briscoes to the floor and hitting stereo dives. The Briscoes are in trouble here until they realize they're the most famous tag team ever in the company....and there goes the referee. Here are Haas/Benjamin with chairs and the it's thrown out at about 3:20. A lot of that was the chase out of the ring so I'm not going to bother rating it. This was just filler until we got to the run-in.
Michael Elgin vs. Raphael Constantine/Sean Casey
The jobbers are from ROH. Truth Martini is on commentary. And now he's off after saying he's going after Eddie Edwards instead of Richards. I have no idea what you're expecting to see here. It's an exhibition by Elgin to dominate people who have nothing to do with the product and company for the most part. He no sells everything and gets Casey on his own. Ok now this is going too long as they're kicking out of stuff. Elgin tries a backdrop on Constantine but drops him on his head. Then he picks them both up at the same time for a double Alabama Slam, pinning both at 5:03. Ok the finisher was cool.
Cornette thinks he's ready to offer Kevin Steen a settlement. Next week he wants Steen, Jimmy Jacobs, the attorney and Steve Corino in the ring where he'll make the offer.
Inside ROH is a video on Dan Severn, who is an MMA master and a UFC Hall of Famer, because wrestling fans want to see MMA right? Edwards says this was a secret but it wasn't stolen from Davey. Davey went to Japan and that's not Edwards' fault. Severn talks forever and we talk about Best in the World for the 19th time this week.
Now Roderick Strong runs his mouth a bit because that's what Roderick Strong does anymore.
TV Title: El Generico vs. Jay Lethal
This is a rematch from when Lethal won the title on I think the first episode. Bennett and Evans come out to watch the match. They exchange feeling out process stuff to start and fly around the ring a little bit. Generico is faster here but not by much. Generico takes over and hits what we would call Starship Pain for two. He gets sent to the floor and misses a moonsault off the barricade, allowing Lethal to pop him with a superkick as we take a break.
Back with lethal hooking a hold which is similar to a surfboard. The camera was on Bennett and Evans so it's not like we got to see it or anything. There's nothing to talk about here. Lethal does some stuff, Generico does some stuff. Generico hits a Mafia kick in the corner and we have about three minutes to go, which is accurate for once.
Lethal hits a handspring ala Tajiri into a cutter. Bennett picks up the TV Title belt and puts it on which doesn't seem to mean much. They speed things way up and Lethal is knocked to the floor. Bennett taunts him and we finally get a brawl between them. Lethal drills him and takes Generico down back in the ring. He loads up the top rope elbow but Bennett gets the referee and it's a time limit draw at 15:00.
Generico hits a big dive to all three of them and we're told the title picture is now a three way race. You mean we're including a guy that got beat and then was beaten again here but didn't get pinned because the referee was distracted? Why is he involved in it?
Results
Briscoe Brothers vs. Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander went to a no contest
Michael Elgin b. Raphael Constantine/Sean Casey – Double Alabama Slam
El Generico vs. Jay Lethal went to a time limit draw
Sunday
Nothing today.
Quick Results
Raw
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland
NXT
Yoshi Tatsu b. Johnny Curtis – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Jimmy Uso b. JTG – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Tyler Reks b. Percy Watson/Tyler Reks – Gut Check to O'Neil
Impact Wrestling
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Mexican America – Double chokeslam to Anarquia
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Velvet Sky b. Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne – BeauDT to Rayne
Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver
Team Storm b. Team Angle last eliminating Bully Ray
Smackdown
Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to AJ
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder to Ziggler
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater – Dream Street
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton, Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes – LeBell Lock to Rhodes
Ring of Honor
Briscoe Brothers vs. Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander went to a no contest
Michael Elgin b. Raphael Constantine/Sean Casey – Double Alabama Slam
El Generico vs. Jay Lethal went to a time limit draw