klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
Were closing in on Bound For Glory and fresh off another show that ended in chaos with the American Top Team guys cleaning house. World Champion Eli Drake actually got to do something though as he and Chris Adonis got to beat down Johnny Impact and Garza Jr., who is now involved in the main event scene for some reason. Lets get to it.
In Memory of Lance Russell.
We get a Pray For Vegas graphic.
We open with a recap of Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake last week with Impact getting cheated out of the title. Johnny wants a fair rematch.
Opening sequence.
Here are Drake and Adonis to open things up. Drake talks about driving down Victory Road last week and pulling straight into Slam Town. He turned the ghetto into a parking lot and built Elis Cakes on top. Eli: YUMMY! YEAH! Johnny isnt here tonight and theres a good chance he wont get back after that Gravy Train he took last week.
Drake turns his sights to Jim Cornette, whose golden boy couldnt get the job done. Cornette has brought up every challenger he can and next week hes sending the champ to Japan. Since he has to go halfway around the world next week, hes getting the night off tonight. As for Adonis though, he wants to fight so lets get an opponent out here right now.
Chris Adonis vs. Garza Jr.
Adonis is in street clothes and Drake joins commentary. Garza scores with a series of kicks for two but Adonis takes over on the arm. Back up and a hurricanrana takes Adonis out to the floor but he drops Garza onto the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Garza fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a butterfly suplex.
Adonis cranks on both arms as this match just keeps going. Seriously its Chris Masters vs. the local luchador. Why is this getting ten minutes? A spinebuster plants Garza but we cut to the back where Johnny Impact arrives. The Adonis Lock doesnt work as Garza sends him into the corner. Drake bails to feed the parking meter and THERE GO GARZAS PANTS!!! The Lionsault misses and Impact runs in for the DQ at 12:00.
Post match Impact beats up Adonis but gets in a fight with Garza. Cue Jim Cornette to make Impact vs. Garza Jr. for next week (yay). He throws in a bonus: the winner will be facing Drake for the title at Bound For Glory. So Garza goes from a midcard tag guy to possibly #1 contender for the World Title in the main event of the biggest show of the year in a few weeks? Even Jinder Mahal would think thats extreme. Garza and Impact brawl some more. By the way, the total time between Cornette coming up and the music playing after his announcement: 87 seconds.
Recap of Moose vs. Bobby Lashley, which of course features the American Top Team guys. Good grief why do they think we care?
Moose is in a parked car looking for Lashley. Hes heading for the American Top Team headquarters.
Wrestlers are ready for Bound For Glory.
We look at OVE winning the Tag Team Titles last week.
Konnan yells at LAX for losing so Santana gets in his face. The card table is turned over.
OVE vs. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill
Non-title. Jake starts with Bolen but gets waistlocked for his efforts. A high crossbody and neckbreaker drop Bolen and McGill is sent outside as well. Jake drops both of them with a double suicide dive, followed by Daves Asai moonsault. Back in and OVE kicks McGill in the head a few times and lets plug those Pop TV sitcoms. A High/Low puts Bolen away at 3:38.
We recap James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. the AAA guys, who completely hate this company because the script tells them to.
Here are KM and Sienna with the latter complaining about not having a match on Bound For Glory. No one has a match on the show yet you nitwit. She says shes going into the Hall of Fame this year so heres Gail Kim to interrupt. Gail wants her show at the Knockouts Championship Title (still such an odd way to word it) at Bound For Glory.
Cue Taryn Terrell to say she was the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history and wants a chance to get the title back. Now its Allie coming out with Josh seemingly liking her look this week. The other three might be former Knockouts Champions but shes Allie and deserves another chance to become champion. Cue Karen Jarrett to say Sienna isnt going into the Hall of Fame. Yes, they actually felt that we needed that explained to us. Its also a four way for the title at Bound For Glory.
Joseph Park has a meet and greet scheduled for Grado but Grado thinks the prices are a little high. Park says you can charge these marks anything. He pays Grado what seems to be a small amount of money but Grado again seems happy with it.
Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams/Matt Sydal
Remember like three weeks ago when Sydal was getting a World Title shot? Or remember like fourteen years ago when people cared about Petey Williams? I mean you should, as its the only reason hes in this spot at the moment. Everything breaks down just a few seconds in with the villains taking over early on, only to be sent into each other. A triple dropkick sends them outside, followed by an apron moonsault and a double suicide dive.
Back from a break with Dutt and Sydal legsweeping Lee and Konley to set up stereo standing moonsaults. Dutt gets kneed in the back and kicked in the face as the beating begins. Konley works on the arm as the announcers talk about the villains unity for wearing all black gear. Or they want to make sure no one recognizes them on this show.
Dutt grabs a tornado DDT while dropkicking everyone else, setting up the hot tag to Petey so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Sydals top rope double knees takes Lee down. Matt throws Lee into Everett on the top, followed by the shooting star to end Everett at 14:31.
Dutt wants the title shot at Bound For Glory and the winners get in an argument over who should have the chance. Just announce Ultimate X already so it can be over hyped.
Heres this weeks Global Forged.
Syda, Dutt and Williams argue in Cornettes office. Cornette storms out.
Laurel Van Ness is back in the audience looking a husband.
Moose arrives at the gym and shoves Dan Lambert away. He gets in a cage but a fighter punches him in the face so the beatdown can be on. They throw Moose out of the building.
Ethan Carter III/James Storm vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano Jr.
In what is becoming a trend, this is getting nearly half an hour. Storm takes Texano down to start as JB hypes this as main eventers vs. main eventers. Carter and Storm get in an argument over a tag though and its Fantasma sneaking in for a cheap shot to take over. Storm slips over and makes the tag to Carter for a flapjack on Texano.
The TK3 gets two but Fantasma gets the same off a dropkick. Carter is taken into the heel corner for some stomping, followed by a hard kick to the chest for two. Its off to the chinlock for a bit until Carter fights up, only to have Pagano come strolling down. Back from a break with Carter still in trouble via some more choking on the ropes.
Texano adds in a jawbreaker and shouts in Spanish for Fantasma to go up. That means a missed splash though and a cutter allows the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down again and Storm starts to clean house. It must not be a very big house though as Fantasma superkicks him down, only to get crotched on top. He hasnt had much luck up there.
The Tower of Doom takes everyone down and thing slow a bit. Carter is thrown outside and then into the post by Pagano as Eddie Edwards not being here to even things out is likely going to be a plot point. Storm loads up a suplex, only to have Pagano trip him up and hold the leg so Fantasma can get the pin at 19:50.
We go back to the LAX club house where Konnan has a big idea: a street fight at Bound For Glory. Everyone leaves to party and Low Ki is shaking his head.
Results
Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered
OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill High/Low to Bolen
Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett Shooting star press to Everett
Texano/El Hijo de Fantasma b. James Storm/Ethan Carter III Crossbody to Storm
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2017
Date: October 8, 2017
Location: Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
Its time for the Shane McMahon Does Something Stupid Show. The main event tonight is Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens inside the shows namesake structure as Shane fights to defend his familys honor. Other than that we have the Usos challenging the New Day for the Tag Team Titles inside the Cell too. Lets get to it.
On the Kickoff Show, Tye Dillinger mentions to Daniel Bryan that he beat Baron Corbin on Smackdown but Corbin is getting a US Title shot tonight. Therefore, Tye should be added to the match. Bryan agrees and we get a YES/TEN exchange with both guys doing the others thing.
Kickoff Show: Hype Bros vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable
Shelton works on Mojos arm to start before its off to Gable, who eats a crossbody. Ryder and Benjamin come in with Shelton scoring with a spinebuster and the Bros heading to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ryder still in trouble as Benjamin and Gable take turns suplexing him. Sheltons superplex is broken up and its a missile dropkick to Benjamin. The hot tag brings in Mojo for shoulders and a tilt-a-whirl slam to Gable. A clothesline takes Mojo down and Gable has to try a moonsault, only to land on his feet when Mojo moves.
Instead he belly to bellys Rawley and hits the second attempt at a moonsault for two. Ryder gets knocked off the apron as Mojo starts .uh .hyping up. The Hype Ryder is broken up (which Ryder seems to blame on Mojo) and Paydirt gives Shelton two on Ryder with Mojo making the save. The powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination puts Ryder away at 10:22.
The opening video looks at the power and devastation of the Cell itself before looking at most of the matches tonight. Standard but it still works.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos
The Usos are challenging inside the Cell. Before the Usos come out, New Day talks about how its going to be a prison break tonight when they break the Usos apart. Its Kofi as the odd man out and they dont even bother waiting around before finding the weapons. Two kendo sticks (rainbow colored for Xavier), a chair and a chain are brought in with New Day getting the better of it and Big E. dropping Woods (and the chain) onto Jimmys face for an early two.
Big E. is sent into the Cell though and Jey dives over the top to take Woods down. Back up though and Big E. spears Jey into the Cell for a heck of a crash. Woods breaks Francesca II over Jeys back but Big E. pulls out Francesca III for the same result. And now, a cowbell is brought in with Woods hitting Jey in the ribs. If thats not enough music for your taste, its time for a gong (Mortal Kombat reference) but Jimmy throws a chair at Woods head. Big E. gets superkicked down and its time for the kendo stick beating.
The running Umaga Attack drives Woods up against the Cell but Big E. is back up with a Rock Bottom off the apron into a Backstabber from Woods on the floor. Woods grabs about six kendo sticks and pins Jey up in the corner, sliding the sticks through the Cell like prison bars. It doesnt last long but its a heck of a creative spot. Jimmy throws Big E. onto his shoulders for a spear through the ropes from Jey, driving Big E. into the Cell again.
Back in and the double Superfly Splashes get two and the Usos are frustrated. They bust out some handcuffs and cuff Woods around the post for some stick shots to the ribs ala Orton vs. Cena at Breaking Point back in 2009. They unload on Woods with about twenty shots in a row before letting him off the corner. Thats rather dumb no?
Big E. is back up though and cleans house, including driving Jimmy into the Cell so hard that the whole thing moves. He does it again, driving Jimmy into Jey this time around. The Big Ending gets two on Jey but Jimmy is back in with a pair of superkicks. A double superkick sets up the double Superfly Splash but Woods somehow dives in for the save. The still handcuffed Woods gets all fired up and shrugs off the kendo stick shots but they finally beat him down. With a chair put over Woods, the double Superfly Splash at 21:56.
AJ Styles isnt worried about the match being made a triple threat (with Tye Dillinger being added) and quotes a little Tom Petty in a nice touch.
Quick recap of Rusev vs. Randy Orton, which is their third match after the first two didnt combine to last thirty seconds. Orton attacked Rusev when he was being given the key to his hometown to set up a third match.
Rusev vs. Randy Orton
An early RKO attempt sends Rusev bailing to the floor but he comes back in and fires off shoulders in the corner. Orton stomps away though and tries the hanging DDT but they head outside again. Rusev drives him into the barricade and grabs a chinlock back inside. A spinwheel kick gives Rusev two but he seems to be favoring his back.
Some big elbows are good for two but a missed charge sends Rusev face first into the post (CHECK HIS TEETH!). An RKO attempt doesnt work so Orton settles for the snap powerslam for two instead. A fall away slam gives Rusev two more but the Accolade attempt sends Orton bailing to the floor. Back in and the hanging DDT connects but Rusev kicks him down again. The Accolade doesnt work again though and its an RKO to put Rusev away at 11:43.
US Title: Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles
Styles is defending and Dillinger was added to the match earlier tonight. Dillinger had tried to answer the US Open Challenge but Baron attacked him, setting up a mini feud between the two. Corbin was scheduled to be the challenger but Tye beat him on Smackdown, earning a spot in this match too. AJ and Tye stare Corbin out to the floor and look to go at each other, only to stomp Corbin down when he tries to sneak back in.
They send Corbin outside again and AJ rolls Tye up for two before scoring with with the drop down dropkick. Corbin punches Tye to the floor and avoids AJs dropkick to take over for the first time. A hard whip sends AJ ribs first into the post so Corbin chokes Dillinger in the corner. They head outside with Corbin whipping Tye into the barricade and then slugging him down.
Back in and AJ wins a slugout with Corbin (bit of a surprise) before scoring with the Phenomenal Blitz. Tye comes back in with a hot shot and backdrop to AJ, followed by that one knee Codebreaker for two. Back up and AJ slaps on the Calf Crusher but Corbin pulls Tye to the ropes for the break.
AJ dives over the top with a slingshot forearm but his second springboard is countered into a chokebreaker for a rather near fall. Tye comes back in and kicks both guys in the face until AJ Peles him onto Corbin for a heck of a false finish. The springboard 450 connects with Corbin but Tye makes the save. That just earns Tye a Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Corbin throw AJ out and steal the pin and the title at 19:30.
We recap Charlotte vs. Natalya, which thankfully isnt another Bret vs. Ric feud. Natalya is champion and Charlotte won a multi-woman match to get the shot.
Womens Title: Natalya vs. Charlotte
Natalya is defending and this match gives her the record for most pay per view matches in womens history. They trade early leg hold attempts but Natalya settles for some kicks to the leg to really take over. Charlotte uses the good leg to kick her away but still gets caught in a leglock.
Thats broken without too much effort and Charlotte uses the good leg for a big boot to the jaw. A powerbomb doesnt work as the leg is too banged up so Charlotte tries a backslide for two instead. Shes still able to strut on one leg but tries a moonsault for some reason, allowing Natalya to hit her in the knee a few times. Natalya gets two off a sitout powerbomb but eats another big boot.
This time its with the bad knee though and Charlotte goes down, even needing to head outside. The leg is knocked into the steps and Charlotte is in big trouble. Back in and Natalya loads up the Sharpshooter, only to have Charlotte flip her into the buckles for the break. Natalya heads outside again so Charlotte moonsaults down onto her, banging up the knee again. Not that it matters as Natalya grabs a chair to hit Charlottes knee for the DQ at 12:18.
Its Fashion Files time! Their bulletin board includes Cesaro as Tooth Fairy 3 and Raven as Thats So Raven. Theyve solved the 2B case and tease a flashback but wind up in the same place. Ascension, in bad disguises, come in with a delivery. Its a tube, which Breeze thinks means 2B.
Inside the case is an Ascension poster with the message we want 2B your friends. Breeze says theres no way its Ascension because theyre idiots. Ascension takes off the disguises and leave looking very sad. Breeze: Those disguises were incredible! Theres another knock at the door but its just a black briefcase. They open it up and the contents are glowing ala Pulp Fiction. Its a new case, meaning Pulp Fashion begins on Tuesday.
We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal for the Smackdown World Title. Basically Mahal is overconfident and thinks Nakamura is funny looking so he made some semi-racist jokes at Nakamuras expense. Nakamura also has to deal with the Singh Brothers to make things even worse.
Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal
Mahal is defending and grabs a wristlock to start. Nakamura takes him down without too much effort but cant get a cross armbreaker. Back up and Nakamura says COME ON before the threat of the Kinshasa sends Mahal bailing to the floor. The champ sends him back first into the post and we hit a camel clutch back inside. A hard whip into the corner has Nakamura in more trouble and its off to a chinlock.
Nakamura fights up with a spinning kick to the head for a breather, followed by kicks to the chest. The running knee in the corner gets two and Nakamura adds a knee drop from the apron, only to bang up his own knee again. Back in and the Khallas is broken up, followed by a middle rope knee to Mahals chest.
Cue the Singh Brothers for a distraction but Nakamura grabs a rollup for two anyway. The referee finally ejects the Brothers and theres Kinshasa to Mahal but he grabs the rope at two. Another Kinshasa hits knee though and its the Khallas to keep the title on Mahal (again) at 12:05.
Kevin Owens doesnt want to hear about what he did to the McMahon Family because Shane has caused Owens family harm for the sake of feeding his bottomless ego. Tonight, Shane has to pay.
Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler
Its a battle over entrances. Ziggler cuts off his own entrance and comes out to silence and no video. A headlock slows Roode down to start until Roode snaps him throat first across the top to really take over. Some chops in the corner have Ziggler even further in control and we hit a chinlock to keep Roode down.
Its off to a sleeper for a good while as this is one of the worst ways they could go about having Roodes pay per view debut. Roode fights up and sends Ziggler shoulder first into the post for his first major offense. A swinging Rock Bottom gives Roode two but Zigglers jumping DDT is good for the same.
Just in case you thought this match could get interesting, Ziggler grabs the sleeper AGAIN. A bulldog (called a Fameasser) gets two on Roode but the superkick is countered into a spinebuster. The Glorious DDT is countered into a rollup to give Ziggler two and they trade rollups for a bunch of near falls until Roode grabs the tights (which Ziggler was doing every time) for the pin at 11:35.
Ziggler immediately hits the Zig Zag on Roode to set up a rematch.
Long recap of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens. Kevin claimed a conspiracy against him for months and attacked Vince after securing a match with Shane inside the Cell. Shane is fighting for his family and is basically holding up a big sign saying Im going to do something stupid.
Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon
Inside the Cell and with falls count anywhere for reasons of Shane needs to do something outside. Owens steps into the Cell so the bell rings and Shane baseball slides him through the door. That means the bad punches make an early appearance and Shane follows up with a clothesline off the barricade.
Owens heads into the cage for safety so Shane kicks the door into his face. Back in and Shane gets knocked off the apron and into the Cell wall, allowing Owens to rub his face against the cage, right in front of Shanes kids. Owens grabs the steps but gets kicked in the chest. Thats it for Shanes offense at the moment though as Owens drops a backsplash for two. Theres the Cannonball for two as the crowd is just waiting for Shane to start doing something so they can care.
The Swanton Bomb hits Shanes knees though and his legs are too banged up to do anything. Why is that something no one else can understand? Back up and Shane peppers him with some more punches, only to miss the shooting star press. Owens frog splash gets two but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a pretty messy looking triangle choke.
A powerbomb onto the steps gets Owens out of trouble and its table time. The table is leaned up against the table but Owens Cannonball off the apron misses Shane and sends him through the table for a crash. Shane hits him with a piece of the broken table and tosses a trashcan into the ring. Coast to Coast connects on Owens but his foot is on the rope, which completely defeats the point of falls count anywhere.
Shane cuts the door open with bolt cutters, allowing Owens to DDT Shane on the ramp with a thud. Owens puts him on the announcers table and climbs onto the barricade .before looking up at the Cell. He goes up, looks down at Shane .and cant bring himself to do it. Instead Shane gets up and climbs to the top as well and its time for a slugout on the roof. Shane grabs a Russian legsweep and bangs his own head before slamming Owens on the steel.
Theres a suplex on the Cell to keep teasing the big spot. Owens takes him down for a change and drops a backsplash. The powerbomb is reversed into a backdrop but Owens gets the Pop Up Powerbomb, which still doesnt break the Cell. Owens teases throwing him off the top but Shane punches his way out of dying.
Thankfully Owens starts climbing down and Shane follows him for some kicks to the back, followed by a ram to the cage to send Owens through the table. EMTs come down to check on Owens but Shane picks him up and puts him on the second announcers table. Shane goes up but dives through the table as Sami Zayn popped up to pull Owens off the table. Sami throws the EMTs away and puts Owens on top for the pin at 38:18.
Results
Usos b. New Day Double Superfly Splash to Woods
Randy Orton b. Rusev RKO
Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles and Tye Dillinger Phenomenal Forearm to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya used a chair
Jinder Mahal b. Shinsuke Nakamura Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler Rollup with a handful of tights
Kevin Owens b. Shane McMahon Pin after Shane fell through a table
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Braun Strowman b. Seth Rollins Running powerslam
Elias b. Titus ONeil Drift Away
Mickie James b. Nia Jax via DQ when Alexa Bliss interfered
Anderson and Gallows b. Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan Magic Killer to Hardy
Roman Reigns b. The Miz via DQ when Sheamus and Cesaro interfered
Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Alicia Fox/Emma Bayley to Belly to Fox
Smackdown
Carmella/Natalya b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch Sharpshooter to Charlotte
Bobby Roode b. Mike Kanellis Glorious DDT
Tye Dillinger b. Baron Corbin Small package
Randy Orton b. Aiden English Pop up RKO
NXT
Ruby Riot/Nikki Cross b. Billie Kay/Peyton Royce Pele to Kay
Kairi Sane b. Aaliyah Top rope elbow
Drew McIntyre b. Roderick Strong Claymore
Impact Wrestling
Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered
OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill High/Low to Bolen
Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett Shooting star press to Everett
Texano/El Hijo de Fantasma b. James Storm/Ethan Carter III Crossbody to Storm
Hell in a Cell 2017
Usos b. New Day Double Superfly Splash to Woods
Randy Orton b. Rusev RKO
Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles and Tye Dillinger Phenomenal Forearm to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya used a chair
Jinder Mahal b. Shinsuke Nakamura Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler Rollup with a handful of tights
Kevin Owens b. Shane McMahon Pin after Shane fell through a table
Impact Wrestling
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
Were closing in on Bound For Glory and fresh off another show that ended in chaos with the American Top Team guys cleaning house. World Champion Eli Drake actually got to do something though as he and Chris Adonis got to beat down Johnny Impact and Garza Jr., who is now involved in the main event scene for some reason. Lets get to it.
In Memory of Lance Russell.
We get a Pray For Vegas graphic.
We open with a recap of Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake last week with Impact getting cheated out of the title. Johnny wants a fair rematch.
Opening sequence.
Here are Drake and Adonis to open things up. Drake talks about driving down Victory Road last week and pulling straight into Slam Town. He turned the ghetto into a parking lot and built Elis Cakes on top. Eli: YUMMY! YEAH! Johnny isnt here tonight and theres a good chance he wont get back after that Gravy Train he took last week.
Drake turns his sights to Jim Cornette, whose golden boy couldnt get the job done. Cornette has brought up every challenger he can and next week hes sending the champ to Japan. Since he has to go halfway around the world next week, hes getting the night off tonight. As for Adonis though, he wants to fight so lets get an opponent out here right now.
Chris Adonis vs. Garza Jr.
Adonis is in street clothes and Drake joins commentary. Garza scores with a series of kicks for two but Adonis takes over on the arm. Back up and a hurricanrana takes Adonis out to the floor but he drops Garza onto the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Garza fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a butterfly suplex.
Adonis cranks on both arms as this match just keeps going. Seriously its Chris Masters vs. the local luchador. Why is this getting ten minutes? A spinebuster plants Garza but we cut to the back where Johnny Impact arrives. The Adonis Lock doesnt work as Garza sends him into the corner. Drake bails to feed the parking meter and THERE GO GARZAS PANTS!!! The Lionsault misses and Impact runs in for the DQ at 12:00.
Post match Impact beats up Adonis but gets in a fight with Garza. Cue Jim Cornette to make Impact vs. Garza Jr. for next week (yay). He throws in a bonus: the winner will be facing Drake for the title at Bound For Glory. So Garza goes from a midcard tag guy to possibly #1 contender for the World Title in the main event of the biggest show of the year in a few weeks? Even Jinder Mahal would think thats extreme. Garza and Impact brawl some more. By the way, the total time between Cornette coming up and the music playing after his announcement: 87 seconds.
Recap of Moose vs. Bobby Lashley, which of course features the American Top Team guys. Good grief why do they think we care?
Moose is in a parked car looking for Lashley. Hes heading for the American Top Team headquarters.
Wrestlers are ready for Bound For Glory.
We look at OVE winning the Tag Team Titles last week.
Konnan yells at LAX for losing so Santana gets in his face. The card table is turned over.
OVE vs. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill
Non-title. Jake starts with Bolen but gets waistlocked for his efforts. A high crossbody and neckbreaker drop Bolen and McGill is sent outside as well. Jake drops both of them with a double suicide dive, followed by Daves Asai moonsault. Back in and OVE kicks McGill in the head a few times and lets plug those Pop TV sitcoms. A High/Low puts Bolen away at 3:38.
We recap James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. the AAA guys, who completely hate this company because the script tells them to.
Here are KM and Sienna with the latter complaining about not having a match on Bound For Glory. No one has a match on the show yet you nitwit. She says shes going into the Hall of Fame this year so heres Gail Kim to interrupt. Gail wants her show at the Knockouts Championship Title (still such an odd way to word it) at Bound For Glory.
Cue Taryn Terrell to say she was the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history and wants a chance to get the title back. Now its Allie coming out with Josh seemingly liking her look this week. The other three might be former Knockouts Champions but shes Allie and deserves another chance to become champion. Cue Karen Jarrett to say Sienna isnt going into the Hall of Fame. Yes, they actually felt that we needed that explained to us. Its also a four way for the title at Bound For Glory.
Joseph Park has a meet and greet scheduled for Grado but Grado thinks the prices are a little high. Park says you can charge these marks anything. He pays Grado what seems to be a small amount of money but Grado again seems happy with it.
Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams/Matt Sydal
Remember like three weeks ago when Sydal was getting a World Title shot? Or remember like fourteen years ago when people cared about Petey Williams? I mean you should, as its the only reason hes in this spot at the moment. Everything breaks down just a few seconds in with the villains taking over early on, only to be sent into each other. A triple dropkick sends them outside, followed by an apron moonsault and a double suicide dive.
Back from a break with Dutt and Sydal legsweeping Lee and Konley to set up stereo standing moonsaults. Dutt gets kneed in the back and kicked in the face as the beating begins. Konley works on the arm as the announcers talk about the villains unity for wearing all black gear. Or they want to make sure no one recognizes them on this show.
Dutt grabs a tornado DDT while dropkicking everyone else, setting up the hot tag to Petey so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Sydals top rope double knees takes Lee down. Matt throws Lee into Everett on the top, followed by the shooting star to end Everett at 14:31.
Dutt wants the title shot at Bound For Glory and the winners get in an argument over who should have the chance. Just announce Ultimate X already so it can be over hyped.
Heres this weeks Global Forged.
Syda, Dutt and Williams argue in Cornettes office. Cornette storms out.
Laurel Van Ness is back in the audience looking a husband.
Moose arrives at the gym and shoves Dan Lambert away. He gets in a cage but a fighter punches him in the face so the beatdown can be on. They throw Moose out of the building.
Ethan Carter III/James Storm vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano Jr.
In what is becoming a trend, this is getting nearly half an hour. Storm takes Texano down to start as JB hypes this as main eventers vs. main eventers. Carter and Storm get in an argument over a tag though and its Fantasma sneaking in for a cheap shot to take over. Storm slips over and makes the tag to Carter for a flapjack on Texano.
The TK3 gets two but Fantasma gets the same off a dropkick. Carter is taken into the heel corner for some stomping, followed by a hard kick to the chest for two. Its off to the chinlock for a bit until Carter fights up, only to have Pagano come strolling down. Back from a break with Carter still in trouble via some more choking on the ropes.
Texano adds in a jawbreaker and shouts in Spanish for Fantasma to go up. That means a missed splash though and a cutter allows the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down again and Storm starts to clean house. It must not be a very big house though as Fantasma superkicks him down, only to get crotched on top. He hasnt had much luck up there.
The Tower of Doom takes everyone down and thing slow a bit. Carter is thrown outside and then into the post by Pagano as Eddie Edwards not being here to even things out is likely going to be a plot point. Storm loads up a suplex, only to have Pagano trip him up and hold the leg so Fantasma can get the pin at 19:50.
We go back to the LAX club house where Konnan has a big idea: a street fight at Bound For Glory. Everyone leaves to party and Low Ki is shaking his head.
Results
Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered
OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill High/Low to Bolen
Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett Shooting star press to Everett
Texano/El Hijo de Fantasma b. James Storm/Ethan Carter III Crossbody to Storm
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2017
Date: October 8, 2017
Location: Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
Its time for the Shane McMahon Does Something Stupid Show. The main event tonight is Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens inside the shows namesake structure as Shane fights to defend his familys honor. Other than that we have the Usos challenging the New Day for the Tag Team Titles inside the Cell too. Lets get to it.
On the Kickoff Show, Tye Dillinger mentions to Daniel Bryan that he beat Baron Corbin on Smackdown but Corbin is getting a US Title shot tonight. Therefore, Tye should be added to the match. Bryan agrees and we get a YES/TEN exchange with both guys doing the others thing.
Kickoff Show: Hype Bros vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable
Shelton works on Mojos arm to start before its off to Gable, who eats a crossbody. Ryder and Benjamin come in with Shelton scoring with a spinebuster and the Bros heading to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ryder still in trouble as Benjamin and Gable take turns suplexing him. Sheltons superplex is broken up and its a missile dropkick to Benjamin. The hot tag brings in Mojo for shoulders and a tilt-a-whirl slam to Gable. A clothesline takes Mojo down and Gable has to try a moonsault, only to land on his feet when Mojo moves.
Instead he belly to bellys Rawley and hits the second attempt at a moonsault for two. Ryder gets knocked off the apron as Mojo starts .uh .hyping up. The Hype Ryder is broken up (which Ryder seems to blame on Mojo) and Paydirt gives Shelton two on Ryder with Mojo making the save. The powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination puts Ryder away at 10:22.
The opening video looks at the power and devastation of the Cell itself before looking at most of the matches tonight. Standard but it still works.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos
The Usos are challenging inside the Cell. Before the Usos come out, New Day talks about how its going to be a prison break tonight when they break the Usos apart. Its Kofi as the odd man out and they dont even bother waiting around before finding the weapons. Two kendo sticks (rainbow colored for Xavier), a chair and a chain are brought in with New Day getting the better of it and Big E. dropping Woods (and the chain) onto Jimmys face for an early two.
Big E. is sent into the Cell though and Jey dives over the top to take Woods down. Back up though and Big E. spears Jey into the Cell for a heck of a crash. Woods breaks Francesca II over Jeys back but Big E. pulls out Francesca III for the same result. And now, a cowbell is brought in with Woods hitting Jey in the ribs. If thats not enough music for your taste, its time for a gong (Mortal Kombat reference) but Jimmy throws a chair at Woods head. Big E. gets superkicked down and its time for the kendo stick beating.
The running Umaga Attack drives Woods up against the Cell but Big E. is back up with a Rock Bottom off the apron into a Backstabber from Woods on the floor. Woods grabs about six kendo sticks and pins Jey up in the corner, sliding the sticks through the Cell like prison bars. It doesnt last long but its a heck of a creative spot. Jimmy throws Big E. onto his shoulders for a spear through the ropes from Jey, driving Big E. into the Cell again.
Back in and the double Superfly Splashes get two and the Usos are frustrated. They bust out some handcuffs and cuff Woods around the post for some stick shots to the ribs ala Orton vs. Cena at Breaking Point back in 2009. They unload on Woods with about twenty shots in a row before letting him off the corner. Thats rather dumb no?
Big E. is back up though and cleans house, including driving Jimmy into the Cell so hard that the whole thing moves. He does it again, driving Jimmy into Jey this time around. The Big Ending gets two on Jey but Jimmy is back in with a pair of superkicks. A double superkick sets up the double Superfly Splash but Woods somehow dives in for the save. The still handcuffed Woods gets all fired up and shrugs off the kendo stick shots but they finally beat him down. With a chair put over Woods, the double Superfly Splash at 21:56.
AJ Styles isnt worried about the match being made a triple threat (with Tye Dillinger being added) and quotes a little Tom Petty in a nice touch.
Quick recap of Rusev vs. Randy Orton, which is their third match after the first two didnt combine to last thirty seconds. Orton attacked Rusev when he was being given the key to his hometown to set up a third match.
Rusev vs. Randy Orton
An early RKO attempt sends Rusev bailing to the floor but he comes back in and fires off shoulders in the corner. Orton stomps away though and tries the hanging DDT but they head outside again. Rusev drives him into the barricade and grabs a chinlock back inside. A spinwheel kick gives Rusev two but he seems to be favoring his back.
Some big elbows are good for two but a missed charge sends Rusev face first into the post (CHECK HIS TEETH!). An RKO attempt doesnt work so Orton settles for the snap powerslam for two instead. A fall away slam gives Rusev two more but the Accolade attempt sends Orton bailing to the floor. Back in and the hanging DDT connects but Rusev kicks him down again. The Accolade doesnt work again though and its an RKO to put Rusev away at 11:43.
US Title: Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles
Styles is defending and Dillinger was added to the match earlier tonight. Dillinger had tried to answer the US Open Challenge but Baron attacked him, setting up a mini feud between the two. Corbin was scheduled to be the challenger but Tye beat him on Smackdown, earning a spot in this match too. AJ and Tye stare Corbin out to the floor and look to go at each other, only to stomp Corbin down when he tries to sneak back in.
They send Corbin outside again and AJ rolls Tye up for two before scoring with with the drop down dropkick. Corbin punches Tye to the floor and avoids AJs dropkick to take over for the first time. A hard whip sends AJ ribs first into the post so Corbin chokes Dillinger in the corner. They head outside with Corbin whipping Tye into the barricade and then slugging him down.
Back in and AJ wins a slugout with Corbin (bit of a surprise) before scoring with the Phenomenal Blitz. Tye comes back in with a hot shot and backdrop to AJ, followed by that one knee Codebreaker for two. Back up and AJ slaps on the Calf Crusher but Corbin pulls Tye to the ropes for the break.
AJ dives over the top with a slingshot forearm but his second springboard is countered into a chokebreaker for a rather near fall. Tye comes back in and kicks both guys in the face until AJ Peles him onto Corbin for a heck of a false finish. The springboard 450 connects with Corbin but Tye makes the save. That just earns Tye a Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Corbin throw AJ out and steal the pin and the title at 19:30.
We recap Charlotte vs. Natalya, which thankfully isnt another Bret vs. Ric feud. Natalya is champion and Charlotte won a multi-woman match to get the shot.
Womens Title: Natalya vs. Charlotte
Natalya is defending and this match gives her the record for most pay per view matches in womens history. They trade early leg hold attempts but Natalya settles for some kicks to the leg to really take over. Charlotte uses the good leg to kick her away but still gets caught in a leglock.
Thats broken without too much effort and Charlotte uses the good leg for a big boot to the jaw. A powerbomb doesnt work as the leg is too banged up so Charlotte tries a backslide for two instead. Shes still able to strut on one leg but tries a moonsault for some reason, allowing Natalya to hit her in the knee a few times. Natalya gets two off a sitout powerbomb but eats another big boot.
This time its with the bad knee though and Charlotte goes down, even needing to head outside. The leg is knocked into the steps and Charlotte is in big trouble. Back in and Natalya loads up the Sharpshooter, only to have Charlotte flip her into the buckles for the break. Natalya heads outside again so Charlotte moonsaults down onto her, banging up the knee again. Not that it matters as Natalya grabs a chair to hit Charlottes knee for the DQ at 12:18.
Its Fashion Files time! Their bulletin board includes Cesaro as Tooth Fairy 3 and Raven as Thats So Raven. Theyve solved the 2B case and tease a flashback but wind up in the same place. Ascension, in bad disguises, come in with a delivery. Its a tube, which Breeze thinks means 2B.
Inside the case is an Ascension poster with the message we want 2B your friends. Breeze says theres no way its Ascension because theyre idiots. Ascension takes off the disguises and leave looking very sad. Breeze: Those disguises were incredible! Theres another knock at the door but its just a black briefcase. They open it up and the contents are glowing ala Pulp Fiction. Its a new case, meaning Pulp Fashion begins on Tuesday.
We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal for the Smackdown World Title. Basically Mahal is overconfident and thinks Nakamura is funny looking so he made some semi-racist jokes at Nakamuras expense. Nakamura also has to deal with the Singh Brothers to make things even worse.
Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal
Mahal is defending and grabs a wristlock to start. Nakamura takes him down without too much effort but cant get a cross armbreaker. Back up and Nakamura says COME ON before the threat of the Kinshasa sends Mahal bailing to the floor. The champ sends him back first into the post and we hit a camel clutch back inside. A hard whip into the corner has Nakamura in more trouble and its off to a chinlock.
Nakamura fights up with a spinning kick to the head for a breather, followed by kicks to the chest. The running knee in the corner gets two and Nakamura adds a knee drop from the apron, only to bang up his own knee again. Back in and the Khallas is broken up, followed by a middle rope knee to Mahals chest.
Cue the Singh Brothers for a distraction but Nakamura grabs a rollup for two anyway. The referee finally ejects the Brothers and theres Kinshasa to Mahal but he grabs the rope at two. Another Kinshasa hits knee though and its the Khallas to keep the title on Mahal (again) at 12:05.
Kevin Owens doesnt want to hear about what he did to the McMahon Family because Shane has caused Owens family harm for the sake of feeding his bottomless ego. Tonight, Shane has to pay.
Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler
Its a battle over entrances. Ziggler cuts off his own entrance and comes out to silence and no video. A headlock slows Roode down to start until Roode snaps him throat first across the top to really take over. Some chops in the corner have Ziggler even further in control and we hit a chinlock to keep Roode down.
Its off to a sleeper for a good while as this is one of the worst ways they could go about having Roodes pay per view debut. Roode fights up and sends Ziggler shoulder first into the post for his first major offense. A swinging Rock Bottom gives Roode two but Zigglers jumping DDT is good for the same.
Just in case you thought this match could get interesting, Ziggler grabs the sleeper AGAIN. A bulldog (called a Fameasser) gets two on Roode but the superkick is countered into a spinebuster. The Glorious DDT is countered into a rollup to give Ziggler two and they trade rollups for a bunch of near falls until Roode grabs the tights (which Ziggler was doing every time) for the pin at 11:35.
Ziggler immediately hits the Zig Zag on Roode to set up a rematch.
Long recap of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens. Kevin claimed a conspiracy against him for months and attacked Vince after securing a match with Shane inside the Cell. Shane is fighting for his family and is basically holding up a big sign saying Im going to do something stupid.
Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon
Inside the Cell and with falls count anywhere for reasons of Shane needs to do something outside. Owens steps into the Cell so the bell rings and Shane baseball slides him through the door. That means the bad punches make an early appearance and Shane follows up with a clothesline off the barricade.
Owens heads into the cage for safety so Shane kicks the door into his face. Back in and Shane gets knocked off the apron and into the Cell wall, allowing Owens to rub his face against the cage, right in front of Shanes kids. Owens grabs the steps but gets kicked in the chest. Thats it for Shanes offense at the moment though as Owens drops a backsplash for two. Theres the Cannonball for two as the crowd is just waiting for Shane to start doing something so they can care.
The Swanton Bomb hits Shanes knees though and his legs are too banged up to do anything. Why is that something no one else can understand? Back up and Shane peppers him with some more punches, only to miss the shooting star press. Owens frog splash gets two but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a pretty messy looking triangle choke.
A powerbomb onto the steps gets Owens out of trouble and its table time. The table is leaned up against the table but Owens Cannonball off the apron misses Shane and sends him through the table for a crash. Shane hits him with a piece of the broken table and tosses a trashcan into the ring. Coast to Coast connects on Owens but his foot is on the rope, which completely defeats the point of falls count anywhere.
Shane cuts the door open with bolt cutters, allowing Owens to DDT Shane on the ramp with a thud. Owens puts him on the announcers table and climbs onto the barricade .before looking up at the Cell. He goes up, looks down at Shane .and cant bring himself to do it. Instead Shane gets up and climbs to the top as well and its time for a slugout on the roof. Shane grabs a Russian legsweep and bangs his own head before slamming Owens on the steel.
Theres a suplex on the Cell to keep teasing the big spot. Owens takes him down for a change and drops a backsplash. The powerbomb is reversed into a backdrop but Owens gets the Pop Up Powerbomb, which still doesnt break the Cell. Owens teases throwing him off the top but Shane punches his way out of dying.
Thankfully Owens starts climbing down and Shane follows him for some kicks to the back, followed by a ram to the cage to send Owens through the table. EMTs come down to check on Owens but Shane picks him up and puts him on the second announcers table. Shane goes up but dives through the table as Sami Zayn popped up to pull Owens off the table. Sami throws the EMTs away and puts Owens on top for the pin at 38:18.
Results
Usos b. New Day Double Superfly Splash to Woods
Randy Orton b. Rusev RKO
Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles and Tye Dillinger Phenomenal Forearm to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya used a chair
Jinder Mahal b. Shinsuke Nakamura Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler Rollup with a handful of tights
Kevin Owens b. Shane McMahon Pin after Shane fell through a table
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Braun Strowman b. Seth Rollins Running powerslam
Elias b. Titus ONeil Drift Away
Mickie James b. Nia Jax via DQ when Alexa Bliss interfered
Anderson and Gallows b. Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan Magic Killer to Hardy
Roman Reigns b. The Miz via DQ when Sheamus and Cesaro interfered
Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Alicia Fox/Emma Bayley to Belly to Fox
Smackdown
Carmella/Natalya b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch Sharpshooter to Charlotte
Bobby Roode b. Mike Kanellis Glorious DDT
Tye Dillinger b. Baron Corbin Small package
Randy Orton b. Aiden English Pop up RKO
NXT
Ruby Riot/Nikki Cross b. Billie Kay/Peyton Royce Pele to Kay
Kairi Sane b. Aaliyah Top rope elbow
Drew McIntyre b. Roderick Strong Claymore
Impact Wrestling
Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered
OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill High/Low to Bolen
Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett Shooting star press to Everett
Texano/El Hijo de Fantasma b. James Storm/Ethan Carter III Crossbody to Storm
Hell in a Cell 2017
Usos b. New Day Double Superfly Splash to Woods
Randy Orton b. Rusev RKO
Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles and Tye Dillinger Phenomenal Forearm to Dillinger
Charlotte b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya used a chair
Jinder Mahal b. Shinsuke Nakamura Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler Rollup with a handful of tights
Kevin Owens b. Shane McMahon Pin after Shane fell through a table