Week of 1/6/2014 - 1/12/2014 (Thursday - Sunday)

klunderbunker

Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 9, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the final taped show in a long series of them as we're closing in on Genesis next week. The main story tonight is the World Title unification match between AJ Styles and Magnus which has had a full week's worth of hype. On top of that, Kurt Angle has an open challenge to anyone willing to step inside of a cage with him. Let's get to it.

After the opening recap, here's Dixie in a sweater and skirt that belongs on a 22 year old. She doesn't want to put up with this nonsense tonight so AJ needs to get out here and sign this contract. AJ comes out but Dixie goes into a long rant about how the contract is for one night only and the match tonight is going to be No DQ. She wants Magnus to leave AJ bloodied and broken and carried out on a stretcher tonight so he'll be out of her life forever.

AJ says she must have a lot of confidence in her champion, just like she did at Bound For Glory when she bet against AJ and lost. Before signing, AJ says there are boys in the back that hate Dixie just as much as he does and they don't mind coming out here to help him tonight. Dixie says those people weren't there for him over the last 11 years like she was when she was feeding his wife and kids.

She owns those people and will be the one to break AJ Styles. AJ says Dixie doesn't get wrestling because it's supposed to be about two wrestlers but Dixie keeps screwing it up. The belt got respect when AJ won it while the paper champion was hiding under Dixie's skirt, so here's Magnus to keep this segment going.

Magnus asks Dixie to leave the ring and gets in AJ's face for calling him a paper champion. The last image anyone had of AJ is him running away, just like he'll be doing after Magnus gets done with him tonight. Magnus leaves and AJ talks about how it took eleven years to get him to the title, which is the kind of hard work Magnus doesn't understand.

Post break Dixie tells Gail Kim and Lei'D Tapa to make sure they take care of something.

Eric Young/Joseph Park vs. Bro Mans

Non-title. Dixie is shown in the back telling the Bro Mans how serious this is. I have a bad feeling about a running theme tonight. Eric starts fast with Robbie and tries to do a Flair strut after being sent into the corner but instead slides through his legs for a sunset flip. A belly to belly puts Jessie down and Eric loads up the top rope elbow but we see Gail and Tapa beating up ODB in the back.

Eric runs off to help, leaving Joseph to get double teamed. Park gets beaten down into the corner but runs both champions over with shoulder blocks and slams. Robbie's cross body just bounces off Park so he chop blocks Park down instead. The Bro Down (Hart Attack) is good for the pin at 3:27.

Post match the Bro Mans remove a piece of the barricade and put it in the ring, setting up a Bro Down on Park onto the steel.

Joe goes into Dixie's office (fourth appearance in 25 minutes) and says he'll have AJ's back tonight. Dixie says Joe has a match with Ethan Carter III tonight, but Joe says Ethan's blood is on Dixie's hands tonight.

Eric carries ODB to an ambulance, sending Sting off to find Dixie.

James Storm is in the ring and wants to talk to Gunner right now. Gunner comes to the ring and Storm talks about being part of some of the best tag teams ever in wrestling history. You have to check your ego if you're going to be part of a team, but if loving the fans chanting Cowboy means you have a big ego, he has the biggest ego of all time. The world title has split up Beer Money, America's Most Wanted and now the two of them.

Gunner says Storm can keep his ego because he has the case. Storm knew the risk he was taking in Feast or Fired and Gunner played by the rules. James says let's hang the case up one more time because Gunner can't do it again in another match. They shake on it and I think we have either a briefcase on a pole or a ladder match, presumably for next week.

Ethan Carter jumps Joe in the back.

We come back with Ethan and Joe slugging it out on the stage before Joe punches Ethan down the ramp.

Ethan Carter III vs. Samoa Joe

They ight into the ring and we get a bell with Joe taking over with his usual stuff. The backsplash gets two and Carter is knocked into the corner for the enziguri, only to have Carter come out with a dropkick to the knee. Ethan goes after the knee as the fans tell Carter he can't wrestle. Joe breaks up something off the top and goes for the MuscleBuster, only to have Spud grab Joe's leg. The distraction lets Carter get in a shot to the knee for a.....no contest at 2:50? Shouldn't it be a DQ?

Carter hits Joe's knee with a wrench to really put him out.

Angle promises to wreck anyone who gets in a cage with him tonight because he'll be seeing Bobby Roode.

We recap all the injures tonight.

Joe refuses to be taken to the hospital but is forced to go.

James Storm and Gunner have been attacked by whiskey bottles. Sting sees them and goes through the door to find Dixie (5th appearance) for a good yelling about the events tonight. She says this is a dangerous business but Sting says she can be turned back. He asks what happened to her but Dixie yells at him for trying to be Dr. Phil. Sting has a match tonight with an unnamed opponent.

Kurt Angle vs. ???

In a cage with an open challenge. Angle waits and gets.....Bobby Roode? He doesn't come to the cage though because he's got a mic. In seven days Angle is going to lose inside the cage and his Hall of Fame induction will be gone forever. Roode says Angle can get him in the cage next week, but for tonight it's two on one.

Kurt Angle vs. Bad Influence

Daniels goes through the door as Kaz tries to climb the cage. Angle puts Christopher down and goes after Kaz, only to get crotched on the top. Daniels sends Angle into the cage as Kaz comes in with a top rope ax handle to give Christopher two. Angle is rammed back first into the cage as Bad Influence keeps up their double teaming. He grabs a small package on Daniels but Kaz grabs the referee to prevent a count.

A spinning springboard legdrop gets two on Angle but he pops up with the suplexes for everyone. We get Germans, belly to bellys and more Germans before Kaz breaks up the Angle Slam on Daniels. Kaz tries to leave but gets superplexed down, landing on Daniels in the process. Angle sends Daniels hard into the cage before the Angle Slam pins Kaz at 6:11.

Dixie (6th appearance) says leave the cage up. Bobby Roode comes in and is told he has a cage match tonight. Roode assumes it's with Angle but it's against Sting. Bobby freaks out as you would expect him to. Dixie promises to have him covered.

Angle is having pictures taken with some fans when Al Snow comes up in a car, saying Angle has to get to the airport for an emergency.

Bobby Roode vs. Sting

In a cage as well. I didn't hear a bell but Sting takes him into the corner, only to be taken down by a shoulder block. Sting blocks being rammed into the cage but Roode does the same. A Stinger Splash hits Roode's feet and Roode gets two off a clothesline. Sting won't let Bobby go through the door and stops a charging Roode with a boot and elbow to the jaw.

Roode comes back with a spinebuster for two but Sting breaks up another escape attempt. Sting slams him off the top in classic fashion before ramming Roode into the cage a few times. A pair of Stinger Splashes sets up the Death Drop and Deathlock but here are Ethan and Spud to interfere. Spud distracts the referee, allowing Spud to send in a baton so Roode can lay Sting out and escape at 7:10.

Earlier today, Mr. Anderson entered a funeral home to finish this with Ray.

We recap Ray trying to set Joseph park on fire last week.

Anderson is in the funeral home where Aces and 8's were laid to rest. Ray is sitting in the corner with his sunglasses on and Anderson says let's finish this. Bully says if he wanted to finish this, he would have done it last week with the lighter. That's too forgiving of him though because he wants this to last. He says there's something in his other hand that doesn't smell as nice (lighter fluid?) before talking about Anderson taking everything from him.

Ray wants his loneliness to encompass Anderson's life. Next week is Genesis, or the beginning, but it means the end for Anderson. He talks about Anderson throwing the Aces and 8's colors in the coffin and tells Anderson to go look at what's in there now. Anderson goes to look and gets ad before turning back to see Ray gone. We see what appears to be baby clothes in Anderson's hands.

We recap the attacks tonight.

Sting comes into Dixie's office (7th appearance tonight) and says it takes more than that to put him down. Dixie says it's contract season and implies that she'll pay Sting to side with her.

We recap the AJ vs. Dixie situation and hype the main event.

We run down the stacked Genesis card.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Magnus

No DQ and both guys are champion coming in. Magnus immediately goes to the floor and does it again for a second time in less than ninety seconds. No contact yet. Magnus gets back in but here are Ethan Carter and Spud to jump AJ before any contact is made. AJ fights them off and superkicks Magnus in the ribs but Carter breaks up a Styles Clash attempt. Sting finally comes out for the save but doesn't do anything as AJ saves himself. Magnus bails to the floor and we take a break.

Back with the two champions still not making contact as the Bro Mans and Zema Ion come out to jump Sting and AJ and giving us six run-ins in less than eight minutes. Zema DDTs AJ and the Bro Down gets a delayed two on Styles. Sting comes back in as Magnus just chills at ringside. The Brit finally comes back in and AJ quickly loads up the Clash, only to have Bad Influence make the save and lay him out with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo.

Earl Hebner refuses to count so Dixie and Brian Hebner get us to ELEVEN people coming out for this match. Bad Influence goes High/Low on AJ for two and Brian gets yelled at. Sting lays out the Bro Mans with a double Death Drop on the floor before putting Ion in the Deathlock. AJ fights back against Bad Influence as Sting comes in to help even more. We're down to Magnus vs. AJ with Styles getting the Calf Killer, only to have Kazarian take out the referee.

Kazarian monkey flips AJ into Daniels but AJ clotheslines him down and Peles Kaz. Now the Styles Clash takes out Magnus but there's no referee. Earl Hebner hobbles back out (we'll call that #12) to count two before AJ dives over the top to take out Bad Influence yet again. AJ goes up top but Bobby Roode makes it #13 by shoving Styles into the ropes. Three AA/DVDs lay AJ out for about the fifth time, giving Magnus the pin (thanks to referee #3 and the fourteenth person added to the match) and the undisputed title at 15:47. Sting was being held back by most of the heels in case you were wondering.

Dixie and Magnus pose to end the show.

Results
Bro Mans b. Joseph Park/Eric Young – Bro Down to Park
Ethan Carter III vs. Samoa Joe went to a no contest
Kurt Angle b. Bad Influence – Angle Slam to Kazarian
Bobby Roode b. Sting – Roode escaped the cage
Magnus b. AJ Styles – Magnus pinned Styles after a Death Valley Driver from Bobby Roode

Friday

Impact got a 1.14, its highest rating since July.

Smackdown
Date: January 10, 2014
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

There isn't much to talk about coming into this show. Monday was Old School Raw and the biggest story to come out of that was the surprising return of Jake Roberts who looked better than he has in years. Talk has turned to the Rumble though as we're now just over two weeks away. Things can start to get very interesting very fast around this time so hopefully the pace picks up. Let's get to it.

We open with a Wyatt Family promo and Bray talking about Daniel being lost and needing his guidance.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

It's Harper and Rowan with no Daniel or Bray in sight. Harper overpowers Jimmy to start by driving him into the corner, only to have Jey make a blind tag and sneak in with a kick to Harper's ribs. That's all good with Luke as he takes Jey down with ease before bringing in Rowan who gets kicked in the chest to change control again. Rowan runs him over with a shoulder and puts Jey on the corner for forearms to the chest from both monsters.

Erick stays on Jey but gets kicked in the head, knocking him back into the corner for a tag back to Harper. Luke kicks Jimmy off the apron to break up a tag before it's back to Rowan for some face pulling. Jey tries to fight back but gets caught in a fallaway slam for no cover. Harper comes back in and breaks up another tag attempt with a shot to the ribs and another to the jaw.

A catapult sends Jey throat first into the middle rope and we hit the Gator Roll. Back to Rowan for the fist head squeeze until Jey fights out with a jawbreaker and Whisper in the Wind. Harper and Jimmy come in off the hot tags with Jimmy speeding things up but not moving as quickly as he usually does.

A Samoan drop puts Harper down but Jimmy has to superkick Rowan, only to walk into a Michinoku Driver from Harper. Everything breaks down and Jimmy rolls Luke up for two. Harper is sent to the floor so Jimmy can hit a big dive to put everyone down. Rowan runs Jey over as Harper comes back with the discus lariat, leading to the double countout at 9:45.

Post match the Wyatts get ready to destroy Jey but Jimmy makes the save and gets them out of there. They get up the ramp but Bryan and Wyatt jump them from behind and it's a 4-2 beatdown. There's the running knee to Jey and Bryan stares at the announcers with his tongue out. Jimmy gets Sister Abigail and all four Wyatts pose. For some reason this was on a wider camera shot.

Randy Orton comes into Vickie's office and demands to see HHH and Stephanie but they're not here tonight. Randy is in a match tonight but hasn't been consulted like he's supposed to be. Vickie loads up the Best for Business line but Orton doesn't want to hear it. He's going to give the Authority a piece of his mind on Raw because it's best for Randy Orton.

It's MizTV with special guest the Big Show. Before Show comes out we look at Lesnar breaking Mark Henry's arm on Monday before Big Show came out and threw Lesnar around. Miz recaps the story again and asks Big Show why he did what he did. Big Show puts it simply: he doesn't like Brock Lesnar and never has. He's not happy that Brock Lesnar is back and doesn't like it when everyone who stands up to Brock Lesnar is left laying.

Big Show challenges Lesnar to a fight and here's Heyman to answer. Heyman calls Lesnar the Ultimate Fighter of WWE and asks if Big Show wants to fight Brock right now. Big Show is ready and Heyman does his always great fake out, saying Brock will fight when Heyman says so. Heyman throws out an offer for a match at the Royal Rumble and says Brock will not be a hard man to find before then.

Batista is still coming.

Video on the Network announcement. I drool more every time I hear the details.

Ryback/Curtis Axel/Real Americans vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Los Matadores

Diego sends Axel into the corner but Axel knees him in the ribs and takes over. They run the ropes until Diego stops to shout OLE! Axel sends him into the corner for something like Ultimo Dragon's headstand until Diego takes him down with a headscissors. Off to Fernando who gets taken into the corner for the tag to Cesaro. Fernando nips up off the mat into a headscissors and it's back to Diego to chop Swagger in the head.

Axel comes in immediately and gets dropkicked by Sin Cara, sending him into the corner for a tag off to Ryback. A few dropkicks have Ryback in trouble but he bails to the floor before Rey can hit the 619. The good guys are in control as we go to a break. Back with Swagger driving a knee into Rey's ribs and elbowing him in the face.

The Vader Bomb hits feet and Rey kicks him in the head for two as everything breaks down. Torito dives on Axel as Rey rolls out of the Patriot Lock but the 619 is caught, only to have Cara break up the pin. Sin and Axel take each other out to the floor, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and Drop the Dime for the pin on Jack at 4:40 shown of 8:10.

Video on Cena vs. Orton.

Randy Orton vs. Big E. Langston

Non-title of course. Langston takes him down with a shoulder block but Orton rolls to the floor before a cover. Back in and a headlock sets up another shoulder block sends Orton to the floor again. Orton comes in again and punches Big E. down, only to walk into a headbutt for two. Langston sends Orton to the mat with a single right hand to the ribs before slapping on an armbar.

Orton fights up again and pounds on Big E., only to get caught in a backbreaker. A second backbreaker gets two and Langston is getting in a zone. Randy escapes the Big Ending and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with the chinlock until Big E. powers out, only to get kneed in the ribs for two. Back to the chinlock but Big E. fights up again.

The comeback is short lived again though as Orton sends him through the ropes to the floor. Langston is sent into the steps twice in a row for two before we hit the chinlock again. Big E. fights up one more time and runs Orton over twice in a row, followed by a belly to belly suplex. The Warrior Splash gets two but Orton hits his backbreaker to get a breather. The RKO is countered with a splash in the corner but Orton pokes Big E. in the eye, setting up the RKO for the pin at 14:28.

Bray Wyatt talks about fate being a dangerous beast. She tears you apart with her teeth while tearing you apart with her eyes. Bray wants to know if he cuts an Uso, will the other bleed? He asks about the lies of the world, making Daniel scream LIE. Daniel rants about the lies of the world making him want to ram his head into a wall until he breaks something.

Xavier Woods vs. Fandango

This is a result of Fandango interrupting and costing Truth and Woods a match on Main Event. Truth joins commentary and says he and JBL are down like four flat tires. Woods takes him down with a headlock to start but Fandango sends him out to the floor. Xavier slingshots back into a rollup for the pin at 1:25. It's as fast as it sounds.

Post match Summer Rae goes into the ring to yell but the Funkadactyls take care of her. Truth beats up Fandango for fun.

The Usos promises to show the Wyatts pain on Monday.

The Raw ReBound recaps most of the show.

Shield comes to the ring for the main event. Reigns declares himself the new best in the world after pinning Punk on Raw. Ambrose says there's no reason for someone to own a ten foot python and it gave him nightmares. He goes into a rant about choking the snake but Rollins takes the mic and says tonight is about the future, meaning it's not about the New Age Outlaws. They'll break Punk like they always do because they are the future.

Shield vs. CM Punk/New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws haven't wrestled on Smackdown in nearly 13 years. Naturally the Philadelphia fans are WAY into Punk. Ambrose and Punk get things going with Dean headlocking Punk to the mat, only to get caught in a headscissors. Off to Road Dogg who works on the arm for a few seconds before handing it off to Billy for more cranking. Cole screws up history by saying the Outlaws debuted as part of DX as Billy puts Rollins in an armbar. The Outlaws take turns on the armfor a bit before Punk comes in with a top rope elbow to the arm.

Seth gets in a shot to the jaw and tags in Ambrose, only to have Punk take him down into an Indian Deathlock. Punk misses the high kick and Dean bails to the floor as everything breaks down. Shield is sent to the floor to regroup as we take a break. Back with Ambrose working over Road Dogg until Roadie comes back with the shaky right hands. Rollins comes back in with a knee to the head for two before it's back to Reigns for some corner stomping. Back to Ambrose who does the Road Dogg arm wiggle, only to have Road punch him in the face.

Ambrose will have none of this selling for old guys and knees Dogg in the ribs before tagging off to Rollins for a chinlock. Road Dogg is taken back into the corner for more triple teaming before Reigns comes back in for a chinlock. Reigns lets him go and ducks his head, allowing Road Dogg to put him down with a DDT. Ambrose can't break up the hot tag attempt and it's Punk in to clean house.

CM hits his usual stuff on Ambrose but can't get the GTS. Both guys hit cross bodies to put each other down and it's a double tag to bring in Billy vs. Roman. Everything breaks down with Gunn cleaning house and getting two off a Jackhammer to Rollins. Punk hits a suicide dive to take out Seth but Billy takes too long setting up the Fameasser, allowing Reigns to spear him down for the pin at 13:42.

Results
Wyatt Family vs. Usos went to a double countout
Rey Mysterio/Los Matadores/Sin Cara b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel
Randy Orton b. Big E. Langston – RKO
Xavier Woods b. Fandango – Rollup
Shield b. CM Punk/New Age Outlaws – Spear to Gunn

Saturday

Nothing.

Sunday

Nothing.

Quick Results

Monday Night Raw
Usos/Rey Mysterio b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper
Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Superkick
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans – Final Cut to Swagger
Great Khali b. Damien Sandow – Chop to the head
Aksana/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Aksana pinned Brie after a missed missile dropkick
Too Cool/Rikishi b. 3MB – Seated senton to Mahal
Roman Reigns b. CM Punk – Spear

NXT
Bayley b. Summer Rae – Belly to Bayley
Aiden English b. Colin Cassady – Director's Cut
Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods – Accolade
Tyson Kidd b. Baron Corbin – Blockbuster
Ascension b. Hunico/Camacho – Fall of Man to Hunico

Impact Wrestling
Bro Mans b. Joseph Park/Eric Young – Bro Down to Park
Ethan Carter III vs. Samoa Joe went to a no contest
Kurt Angle b. Bad Influence – Angle Slam to Kazarian
Bobby Roode b. Sting – Roode escaped the cage
Magnus b. AJ Styles – Magnus pinned Styles after a Death Valley Driver from Bobby Roode

Smackdown
Wyatt Family vs. Usos went to a double countout
Rey Mysterio/Los Matadores/Sin Cara b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel
Randy Orton b. Big E. Langston – RKO
Xavier Woods b. Fandango – Rollup
Shield b. CM Punk/New Age Outlaws – Spear to Gunn
 

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