klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're in a new year for TNA and we have Genesis this coming Sunday. I won't say it comes off as a throwaway show, but it feels almost like a given that Hardy is going to win the title. It almost feels like it's too much of a given actually. Anyway, tonight we have the finals of the Wild Card Tournament to determine who faces Morgan/Crimson on Sunday. Other than that there isn't much that I know of. Let's get to it.
Here's Sting to open the show. He requests Jeff come down here so here he comes too. Sting talks about Jeff rebuilding trust back one step at a time. He was dealing with some demons of his own recently but he got a second chance, just like Jeff has. Here come Angle, Ray and Roode to interrupt. Roode wants to know why Sting is endorsing Hardy instead of Roode or Angle or Ray. Roode says that Sting picks his favorites and it looks like we're going to have a fight.
Cue Storm and Abyss and I think you know where this is going. Storm gets in the faces of Roode and Angle, talking about how the Last Call put Kurt down. Abyss is his friend and he likes to drink beer too. Kurt starts to say something but Abyss shouts him down. Abyss promises to make Ray pay for the sins of Immortal. Ray starts to respond but Sting makes the required six man for later tonight.
Madison Rayne is in a bikini. No particular reason but we cut over to Traci in the other end of the pool. Gail, the camerawoman, jumps in and it's a big brawl. Mickie does the same. I'm not complaining about the four of them in swimsuits.
Knockout Tag Titles: Mickie James/Traci Brooks vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne
Big brawl to start and the challengers dominate to start. They beat Gail up with ease and send the champs to the floor as we take a break. Back with Mickie firing away on Madison in the corner. Traci and Gail get into it on the floor as Madison holds a Cravate on Mickie. Mickie hits a dropkick and everything breaks down again. Bridging rollup gets two for Mickie. Another gets the same result but Madison gets in a shot to take over again. Off to Gail and Traci as things speed up a bit. Everything breaks down as Mickie hits Madison with the top rope Thesz Press but Eat Defeat pins Traci soon thereafter at 10:30.
Flair hypes up Gunner in the back. They're going to put someone else in the hospital again but Sting pops up and says that since RVD has no partner later, Gunner won't have a manager either. Sting and Flair will be sitting in the back watching the match.
Eric is still in love with ODB and thinks they're still in the tournament.
Recap of the Wild Card Tag Tournament.
Magnus is fired up but Joe says nothing.
Not-Fourtune says they have chemistry and they trust each other.
Garrett Bischoff is back as a referee. Sting says he's a wrestler, not a referee and gives him some boots.
Eric goes into the Knockouts' locker room looking for ODB and gets yelled at. He tries to lock up with them and gets choked by Madison. Madison gets shoved into a locker and this isn't funny.
Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam
The fans get on Gunner to start but van Dam grabs a quick rollup for two. Van Dam slides to the floor and we take another break. Back and Gunner is in control with nothing of note. F5 is countered into a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rolling Thunder gets no cover. They go to the floor and RVD gets his leg caught in the ring skirt. Gunner pulls back the mats....which draws the DQ at 9:50. So you can get disqualified for threatening people?
Van Dam escapes the piledriver but his spin kick to the railing hits the railing. The agents run down to break up the piledriver.
Abyss, Storm and Hardy are ready for the main event.
So are their opponents.
Kid Kash/Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion
This is your fourway X-Division Title match on Sunday. Sorensen and Kash start us off with Kash taking a nice dropkick. Ion tags himself in, gets struck down for a few seconds and then it's off to Aries. MY GOODNESS that was a hard chop. He hits the suicide dive to Ion and then a spinebuster kind of move sets up the pendulum elbow for two. That one was much faster so it was much better and more believable. Sorensen comes back in and hits those jumping shots of his.
Kash and Aries have some heel (?) miscommunication and everyone is down. Ion comes in and hits a spinning cross body for two on Aries. Aries and Kash try a double suplex but Ion escapes and brings Sorensen in to speed things up. McGillicutter takes Aries down and a plancha puts Kash down as well. Brainbuster is countered and Sorensen goes up, but he and Ion argue over who gets to finish Aries. The distraction allows Aries to recover but Sorensen makes a blind tag and hits a Test Drive for the pin on Aries at 7:10.
AJ and Kaz are ready. Kaz was sitting in a locker and Daniels walks out of it after AJ and Kaz leave. Interesting.
ODB is taking pictures of a photographer when Eric comes up and says they have a match. They roll around on the floor and ODB kisses him. Oh geez.
Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Finals: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian
Winners get Morgan/Crimson on Sunday. AJ vs. Joe to start and that works for me. Joe takes him down to start and hooks an abdominal stretch to control. Off to Magnus vs. Kaz as the British guy gets his head kicked off. Back to AJ who drops a knee and brings Kaz back in. Joe comes back in with a senton backsplash for two. Taz is talking about bathtubs for some reason.
Kaz is playing Ricky Morton and gets beaten down by Magnus, but by the time I've typed that Kaz has rolled to the corner and brought in AJ. Springboard forearm looks to set up the Clash but Magnus escapes. Pele puts Magnus down and Daniels is in the aisle. AJ goes for a tag but Kaz drops to the floor. Joe runs over AJ and beats him down so a top rope elbow from Magnus sends he and Joe to the finals at 6:18.
Morgan and Crimson are cool with facing Magnus and Joe. The challengers pop up and brag and a brawl almost breaks out but D'Lo pops up and I think they better recognize his authority.
We run down the Genesis card.
Jeff Hardy/Abyss/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Bully Ray/Kurt Angle
Storm vs. Ray gets us going and the referee has to throw the chain....into Ray's corner. Why not like, a neutral corner to to someone not in the ring? Ray tries to get a cheap shot in the corner but gets chopped instead. Off to Abyss and Ray tries to hide. Off to the champ instead and to his credit he goes after Abyss. The heels manage some double teaming on Abyss and we take a break.
Back with Angle hammering on Abyss but it's off to Storm vs. Roode quickly. Ray clotheslines Storm down quickly and we have Beer Money and Angle in there at the same time. Ok now it's just Beer Money but Ray tags in quickly. After a quick bow and arrow hold it's back to Angle. Storm hits a Russian legsweep to put Angle down and it's hot tag to Hardy to meet Roode. Twisting Stunner gets two and everything breaks down. Everybody pairs off....and it's thrown out 12:07. LAME.
Twist to Roode post match but Ray breaks up the Swanton. Codebreaker to Roode but Angle breaks up the kick, hitting one of his own to Storm. Abyss cleans house now and tries Chock Treatment to Angle but Ray gets his chain and hits Abyss with it a few times. The bad guys rule the ring and Abyss is hung a bit. I mean a chain is put around his neck and pulled on you sick freaks. Hardy is tapping to a Crossface and we go off the air.
Results
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Mickie James/Traci Brooks Eat Defeat to Brooker
Rob Van Dam b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner pulled the ring mats back
Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash Rolling DDT to Aries
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. AJ Styles/Kazarian Top rope elbow to Styles
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Kurt Angle/Bully Ray went to a double disqualification
Friday
Impact is taping at Wembley Arena in London later this month.
Speaking of Impact: 1.1, as usual.
Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2012
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
I'm presuming Booker will be on commentary here. Anyway tonight we have a double main event with two title matches. First of all we have Booker challenging Cody for the IC Title in their rubber match in what should be good. We also get Bryan defending the world title against Big Show in what should be an interesting match as I'm really not sure how well Bryan will be able to manage against a monster. He's a great seller though which should help. Let's get to it.
We open with a video of Orton vs. Barrett last week.
Booker isn't on commentary.
Intercontinental Title: Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes
Feeling out process to start and Booker has a very mild advantage. Cody takes over and works on the arm. They chop it out with Booker winning. They're starting slowly here which implies they'll have a lot of time to work with. Booker sends him to the floor where he gets dropped onto the railing. We take a break with Rhodes in control. Back with the same circumstances, just in the ring this time.
Backslide gets two for the challenger as does a big kick. Rhodes blocks a shot into the corner and tries the top rope standing moonsault, which only partially hits. Cody seemed to have hurt his leg coming down. He isn't limping so maybe it was just a quick flash of pain. Off to a double arm hold, as in imagine if Booker is sitting down and Cody has Booker's arms like he's trying a double arm DDT or butterfly suplex.
Spinebuster takes Cody down but Booker can't hit the scissors kick or the Book End. The second attempt at the kick gets two. Big reaction on the kickout too. Cody gets up and sends Booker into the corner where he sets for the Jack Brisco sunset flip but Cody stays in the middle of the ring. Booker tries a side kick but Cody ducks and hits the Beautiful Disaster for the pin at 9:12 shown of 12:42.
Cody is walking in the back and Dustin pops up to congratulate him on a big victory. Cody yells at him, saying this is why they don't talk. He's already more of a success than his brother and he might be a better one than his dad. If Dustin considers putting on the gold paint for one more run, think twice because he's a joke but not a laughing stock. Cody can change that though, so don't try it.
Ryder is with Teddy and says he's stepping down as assistant to the GM. Drew pops in but Ryder offers up Santino to be the new assistant, which is accepted. Zack leaves and Santino mentions some of the things he can do for Teddy, including syncing his iPod. As for Drew, he's got Santino tonight and if he loses, he's on very thin ice. If Santino wins, he's officially the assistant. Drew leaves and here's Aksana. Santino leaves while the two of them make dinner plans.
Royal Rumble moment: Cena returns. Screw WWE.com's list. That's the #1 moment in the history of the Rumble.....maybe. It's probably either that or Hogan vs. Warrior. Either way it's better than their's: Shawn survives from #1.
Alicia is talking to AJ and AJ is really happy with Daniel. She's worried about his match though. Bryan pops up to a pop which I don't buy. He brags about beating Big Show and Alicia leaves. AJ is nervous about the match and Bryan is very confident. Sex is implied for later.
Hornswoggle vs. Heath Slater
This is an over the top rope challenge, so basically a two man battle royal. Horny looks at something in the lights and when Slater looks, Horny stomps on his foot. Slater chokes in the corner as we're certainly in a comedy match. Horny tries a middle rope cross body but gets caught. Slater tries to dump him but Horny uses leverage and hair for the win at 1:37. This was just for the kids.
Slater beats him down post match but Gabriel makes the save. He hits the 450 and we cut to a very closeup shot on Slater, as in it looked like it was about a foot from his body on the mat and pointed at the corner.
Don't be a bully.
Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico
Camacho, the bodyguard, has a mic. Oh wait it's Hunico with the mic and Camacho is riding the bike. Both of them talk and aren't happy that they didn't get invited to join the DiBiase Posse. That Lowrider bike just isn't working for me. Hunico tries to speed things up to start and hooks a headscissors which DiBiase countered into kind of a reverse sitout powerbomb. That could be a solid finisher if used by some power guy.
Hunico takes it to the mat and hooks a Fujiwara Armbar. DiBiase comes back and hits some dropkicks but Dream Street is countered. The arm goes into the buckle and Hunico locks in one of the weirdest pinning combinations I've ever seen. Basically DiBiase looked like he was in a backslide but Hunico was on one knee with DiBiase's legs on his shoulders and was looking the other way. No idea what that's called but it gets the pin at 3:06.
At the end of the day though, they're riding away on a bicycle. Not working for me.
Here's Barret and apparently this is supposed to be an update on Orton. Barrett says he'll be handling this update instead of the doctors. We see a clip of the end of the show last week. As for the medical update, he has a herniated disc. As for his career update, he's done. Oh sure he might try to come back someday but his mental edge is gone.
That brings us to the Royal Rumble in Orton's hometown, where Orton will have to sit in the crowd and watch him win. There isn't a single superstar that can stop him from winning. Cue Sheamus with a rebuttal. I like the idea of this feud as Sheamus needs something to do until the Rumble and Barrett can't get to Bryan yet while the monsters are still after him. Sheamus says Barrett is like his uncle: a big talker, but just a sheepherder. Well at least he's not a bushwhacker. However the uncle had been kicked in the head as a child so he wasn't all there. Now what's Barrett's excuse?
They're about to fight when they're interrupted by.....Jinder Mahal? He doesn't say anything but slaps Sheamus in the face. Sheamus fights them off but sets for a Celtic Cross on Barrett. Mahal gets in a shot but Sheamus destroys him again. Sheamus walks into Winds of Change and Barrett leaves. Sheamus gets put in a camel clutch and Jinder stands tall. Why are they going with this match again? Sheamus has destroyed him every time they've been together and they're doing it again? Why? Hopefully so it'll lead to Barrett vs. Sheamus, which is what it probably is.
We recap the Show/Bryan/Henry ordeal at TLC.
Santino Marella vs. Drew McIntyre
If Santino wins he's the assistant to the GM and Drew is on very thin ice. Santino does his splits and hammers away. Drew comes back with a suplex, getting two. Futureshock is countered but Drew keeps control. Drew sets up a superplex but Santino slips off the top (intentionally) and sends Drew into the post. Cobra ends this at 2:28. Cole: We're going to go the way of WCW with these two running the show. I'm fine with Santino here as it's going to be played for comedy and it gives him something to do. No harm no foul here as Drew isn't doing anything anyway.
In the back, Drew is freaking out when Teddy comes in. Drew says that can't count because of a greased rope or something. Teddy says that's strike two and next week, if it's strike three he very well may be out.
Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom
Non-title here. Rosa is rather enjoying to watch. We haven't seen the champs in awhile. I think that's Epico starting with Bourne. Bourne lands on his feet out of a snapmare attempt and it's off to Kofi. The champs combine to do AJ Styles' dropdown to the dropkick spot. Rosa: Ay caramba! Off to Primo as we hear about Epico playing baseball at Western Michigan University. Kofi gets in a shot and double tags bring in Bourne and Primo. Bourne speeds things up and everything breaks down. Kofi sets to dive but Rosa blocks I think Primo. Bourne tries Air Bourne but Epico pulls Primo out and Bourne crashes, getting pinned at 3:50.
Big Show says that tonight he'll be conscious and he'll get the title back. Bryan may be a good wrestler....and here he is. Bryan comes off like a total jerk here, talking about how Show is all natural and Bryan had to work to get where he is. If Bryan had been born as big as Show is, it wouldn't have been 9 years between his title reigns. Show puts his hand on his shoulder and says don't make me hurt you out there. Bryan doesn't like being touched and is very defensive about it. Pretty heelish promo by Bryan here.
Sheamus vs. Jinder next week.
Natalya vs. Tamina
We get a quick highlight package of both of their papas before the match. Natalya takes her down quickly and pounds away at Tamina, shouting about family. Tamina tries a cross body but bounces off Natalya instead of falling on top of her. A Samoan Drop sets up the Superfly Splash and we're done at 1:42. Standard Divas match anymore.
Raw ReBound.
Still don't be a bully. If we have to Stand Up For WWE this fall again I'll pull my hair out.
The same Rumble moment from Raw is shown here: Hacksaw winning it.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan
Henry joins us for commentary, probably giving away the ending already. We get big match intros. Cole asks Henry who would win between Bryan and Hornswoggle. Henry GOES OFF, ranting about how that has nothing to do with this match and how it has nothing to do with him not having the title, which is all that matters here. Henry: If you don't got nothing intelligent to say, don't say nothing at all.
Show charges right at Bryan so the champ has to use speed maneuvers. Josh asks Henry if he thinks it's fair that Show gets the first shot. Henry says no so Josh points out that Show was the champion that Bryan beat. He gets cut off by Henry who tells Josh to shut up. I'm LOVING Henry on commentary here. He's all ticked off and tells people what he thinks. Show grabs him by the throat and throws him to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Bryan firing away kicks to no effect. He goes to the floor and after a quick switch, Bryan hits a baseball slide to send Show back to the table. Henry: Why you all jumping? Cole: It might have something to do with a 500lb man coming at us. A plancha is caught but Show's knees go into the post. His head does the same and Bryan tries to win via countout. Back in and Show is mad.
Bryan manages to get his to his knees and fires off the kicks which have no effect. Cole and Henry are cracking me up with Henry refusing to admit he's wrong on anything, even stuff that makes no sense and scaring Cole into agreeing. That's what a monster should do. Bryan goes outside again so Show pulls him up by the hair. FREAKING OW MAN! Bryan tries something off the top but jumps into a chop. Show comes out of the corner and spears Bryan down for a very delayed two.
Henry is standing up now. He actually gives Bryan credit for kicking out of that. Show pulls the straps down and calls for the chokeslam but Bryan counters into a guillotine. Why Show doesn't use his free hand to punch Bryan in the ribs is beyond me but whatever. Bryan is bleeding from the mouth and he shifts to a LeBell Lock. Show breaks it pretty easily and pulls up the big punch but Bryan hits the floor. Bryan gets in Henry's face and Henry shoves him, so Bryan yells to the referee and it's a DQ. Total heel move there by Bryan. Match ran 6:17 shown of 9:47.
Bryan does the huge post match celebration as usual.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
Hornswoggle b. Heath Slater Slater hit the floor
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Bridging Rollup
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre Cobra
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Epico pinned Bourne after a missed Air Bourne
Tamina b. Natalya Superfly Splash
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show via disqualification when Mark Henry interfered
Saturday
WWE has officially cut the number of PPVs this year to 12 instead of 13. HIAC has moved into Vengeance's spot and it hasn't been replaced.
Sunday
Genesis 2012
Date: January 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Today is the genesis of the beginning of the genesis of the....oh wait wrong company. It's the first TNA PPV of the year and we have Hardy vs. Roode in the main event. The card has been fairly well built up on paper and I'm somewhat interested in what happens tonight. Also we have Angle vs. Storm II (officially III but I don't count the first one) so I'd picture Storm to lose to set up an eventual third match at Lockdown, although they might do a draw at Against All Odds to bridge the gap. Let's get to it.
We open with Robert Roode arriving. Jeff got here about two hours earlier.
X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen
I didn't know this but it's elimination rules. The fans seem to like Jesse the most. Aries chills on the floor to start and Sorensen cleans house. A northern lights gets two on Ion and Aries comes in. This is one of those matches where there's no point in trying to keep track of everything that's going on. Kash and Aries are sent to the floor and after Ion is put up top it's the Tower of Doom! That hasn't been used in awhile.
Aries goes up top but Ion shoves him down to the floor onto Kash. Ion hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor to take the two of them out. Sorensen of course follows in the customary series of dives. Still gets a great reaction from the crowd too. Jesse gets two on Aries back inside. Ion gets sent into the corner so Kash tries a superplex, but Aries is whipped into the corner to send Kash crashing. Ion stands up and hits the 450 on Kash to put him out first.
Aries busts out the 450 on Sorensen for just two. The fans are WAY behind Jesse here. Top rope cross body gets two on Aries. A suplex into a cutter kind of move gets the same as Ion breaks up the pin because he's an idiot. Ion goes after Jesse but walks into a small package for the second elimination to get us down to one on one. Aries rolls up Sorensen but Ion has the referee.
Brainbuster is countered into the Game Changer (Test Drive into a DDT) but Ion's distraction keeps it at just two. Aries breaks up something off the top but runs into a boot in the corner. Ion is ducked out of sight on the floor. Sorensen goes up but Ion crotches him, letting Aries dropkick him and a middle rope brainbuster keeps the title on Aries 10:59.
D-Von's kids are in the back and they already get on my nerves. They're dressed like Pope and are both sixteen. Why we're wasting a decent story like this on Elijah Burke and D-Von Dudley is beyond me. Pope says he'll get rid of D-Von tonight.
Recap of D-Von vs. Pope. Basically it's been six months of D-Von yelling at his kids while they like Pope until they finally turned on their dad.
D'Angelo Dinero vs. D-Von
D-Von starts fast and sends Pope to the floor with a lot of punches. There isn't much to say here as it's just D-Von hammering away on him. The fans are split here, thereby again proving that either A, faces and heels mean nothing in TNA or B, the Impact Zone needs to shut up. D-Von finally gets caught by a shot and Pope takes over.
Pope beats him to the floor and hits a jumping axe handle to the floor. Off to a chinlock as the dueling chants continue. We get a Ronnie Garvin reference to make me roll my eyes. Pope was using a Garvin Stomp, so Taz says those are rugged kicks. Naturally has has to say get it to Tenay to get rid of the humor to it but that's Taz for you.
With D-Von down, his kids come in. Pope says get him and they're apprehensive about it. Dinero shoves them and then throws one of them to the floor. He hits the other one and D-Von snaps. The kids never touched him so it's not a DQ. D-Von hits some power stuff as the fans want a table. Pope gets out of a fireman's carry and hits an uppercut. A flying shoulder gets two for the former Dudley. Corner splash misses and a neckbreaker gets no cover for Pope. The boys are back up and the DDE misses. D-Von hits the inverted reverse DDT for the pin at 10:17.
D-Von reunites with his kids post match. So we just wasted 6 months for that payoff? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
Sting is in the back for an interview and Velvet wants to talk to him. She wants the Knockouts VP job. Velvet goes on a big rant, talking about how Madison made herself the boss and it shouldn't count. Velvet has a plan to keep Madison occupied during the title match and whispers it in Sting's ear. He likes it but there's not enough time according to Sting. She asked the crew about it earlier and it's called the Velvet Touch. No idea what it is but Sting says go with it. She leaves and Sting talks about the main event. Hardy earned his title shot tonight and got here one step at a time. Sting says he's in charge, not Roode.
Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam
Rematch from Impact after the weak ending. They actually go to the mat to start as Gunner is getting frustrated. Rollup gets two for RVD. Crucifix gets one and it's a standoff. Gunner takes over with strikes and we head to the floor. Van Dam gets in a kick to take over and sends Gunner back in, but has to chase Flair off. He gets crotched on top but throws Gunner down on the way back in.
Top rope cross body gets two. Top rope kick sets up Rolling Thunder for two. Gunner rolls to the floor so RVD dives, only to have Flair pull Gunner out of the way. With Flair distracting the referee, Gunner DDTs him on the floor to basically kill him. He's out cold and that's enough for the pin at 6:52. Man that match went by fast.
RVD goes out on a stretcher post match. He keeps trying to get the neck brace off.
Hardy is in the back and says he doesn't brag about what he did. He's modest and another him is what there will never be. Creatures, mount up because they have a world title to win.
We recap the Knockout Title match. Gail returned and sided with the forces of evil, allegedly taking the division back ten years.
Velvet's Touch is a small cage at ringside.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Gail Kim
And now the box with Madison in it is going to the ceiling. The bars are painted pink and white. The match starts as the cage is being raised, letting Gail get in a shot to take over. Mickie speeds things up to take over, hitting a low dropkick for two. Gail gets in a shot and the fans are split, although leaning towards Mickie. She avoids a slide by Mickie and hooks a Dragon Sleeper which is pretty easily countered.
Mickie starts a comeback and speeds things up. There's the nip up but she gets caught in an Octopus Hold (kind of) which she countered with something like a Samoan Drop. Jumping DDT is blocked but Gail is knocked outside. Out to the floor and Mickie hits a hurricanrana. Back in and the flying crotch to the face gets two. Madison throws an object to Gail which is intercepted. Another object (brass knucks I think) are sent down but caught by Mickie. She decks Gail and it's a DQ at 6:21. The fans chant BS for some reason, despite it being pretty clear what happened.
Ray says he used to be nervous about the Monster's Ball but he realized he's the king of these matches, so tonight Abyss rejoins Immortal. Thankfully Ray lists off the members of Immortal because I had no idea who was still in it. Gunner is apparently. Who knew?
We recap Abyss vs. Ray. Basically Immortal can't stop him so for some reason he's agreed to this match where if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin Immortal.
Bully Ray vs. Abyss
This is Monster's Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here's a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.
Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they're back already. They weren't off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss' arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.
He doesn't open them yet and instead it's a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.
Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it's TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks....for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That's enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.
Crimson and Morgan say they're awesome and that they'll win.
Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Crimson vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus
Joe starts with Morgan and the tall one is taken down quickly. Off to Crimson who is the least interesting undefeated person this side of Tatanka. Magnus comes in and gets double teamed by the champs. Morgan hits his corner elbows and Crimson hits an overhead suplex for two. Back to Joe who runs Morgan over. Crimson comes in and has the same result as Morgan had.
Magnus comes back in and we go split screen as Ray is beating up Abyss. And now we're back full screen as Joe has a chinlock on Crimson. We get a dueling We Want Morgan/No We Don't chants. Crimson spears Joe down and we're told that Bully Ray is trending worldwide on Twitter. Off to Morgan who hits the Hellevator (not called that) to Magnus but Joe breaks up the pin.
In a HORRIBLE looking sequence, Joe hits a bunch of strikes in the corner, followed by the middle rope elbow from Magnus. It only gets two though, due to Crimson breaking it up. The horrible part: Magnus flew off of Morgan about a second and a half before Crimson even touched him. Magnus reverses a chokeslam but a double version is enough to pin Magnus at 9:38.
Storm says he's ready for Angle. He doesn't want to be interviewed though so he changes places, putting the hat and glasses on JB and asks about JB's match with Angle tonight. This translates into you gotta believe.....somehow.
We recap Angle vs. Storm. Basically Angle says Storm is a barfighter and not a wrestler.
James Storm vs. Kurt Angle
Angle stalls to open us up. Storm grabs a headlock and goes for the Last Call about a minute in. Kurt heads to the floor again for a few seconds. Back in, James hits a facebuster and neckbreaker for two. Another Last Call attempt sends Kurt to the floor. Storm hits a slingshot dive to the floor to keep control. Back in the ring Kurt finally gets Storm to the mat and you know he'll control there. Off to a chinlock.
Taz says Kurt has the best cardio ever. I think there's an old manager on this roster that might take exception to that. Storm comes back with a Russian legsweep and a Backstabber for two. How can we be ten minutes into this already? The chinlock must have lasted longer than I thought. Angle hits Rolling Germans as Taz actually explains what makes suplexes work.
The moonsault mostly hits for two. Storm pops up with a DDT for two. They're doing a fairly slow build here and that's just fine. Angle Slam hits for two. The fans don't even react to the kickout anymore. Angle tries a superkick but Storm avoids it into a cutter for two. Top rope elbow gets the same for the same person. And then Kurt pulls the referee out of position, hits a low blow and a superkick for the pin at 13:45.
Ray is in the back and doesn't know where Abyss is. It's implied he's hiding something.
We recap Hardy vs. Roode. Basically it's Roode is champion and selfish while it's Hardy's chance to come back to glory.
Roode says this is disgusting because Hardy has no business here.
TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode
Roode grabs the arm to start but Hardy takes him down with an armdrag. Headscissors out of the corner by Hardy sets up a little sequence of offense, capped off by a low dropkick for two. Out to the floor and Hardy hits Poetry in Motion using the steps. Tenay calls it a dropkick for some reason. Back in Hardy goes up but gets crotched to shift momentum.
Roode throws him into the corner chest first for two. Suplex sets up a middle rope kneedrop for two. Off to the chinlock by Roode and they go to the floor again. Back in, Roode hooks the Crossface and the fans don't really react at all. Roode goes up but misses whatever he was trying to put both guys down. Hardy starts his comeback and hits a Russian legsweep and that splitlegged cover he does.
Jawbreaker doesn't do much to Roode as he snaps off a spinebuster for two. Roode tries a superplex but Hardy knocks him off. The champ avoids the Swanton and heads to the floor again. Roode gets the belt and goes to leave but Hardy brings him back. Roode grabs a quick fisherman's suplex for two. Twisting Stunner puts Roode onto his knees but the Whisper in the Wind gets two. There's another attempt at the Twist and Roode bails again.
Hardy follows him up the ramp and throws him back. Roode has the belt but it gets knocked out of his hands. Hardy tries another Twist but the referee breaks it up so that it's not onto the belt. Roode tries a rollup with feet on the ropes but it only gets two. The champ begs off...and then kicks the referee low for the REALLY FREAKING LAME DQ. Jeff hits a Twist but the bell rings before a cover. I forgot to check the clock but it was about 20:00.
The fans IMMEDIATELY chant that they want Sting. Hardy hits a Swanton and holds up the belt...and that's it. No seriously, that's the end of the show.
Results
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen, Kid Kash and Zema Ion Aries last eliminated Sorensen to win
D-Von b. D'Angelo Dinero Reverse Inverted DDT
Gunner b. Rob Van Dam DDT on the floor
Gail Kim b. Mickie James via disqualification when Mickie hit Gail with brass knuckles
Abyss b. Bully Ray Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Magnus/Samoa Joe Double Chokeslam to Magnus
Kurt Angle b. James Storm Superkick
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode via disqualification when Roode kicked the referee
Quick Results
Raw
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes Small Package
Wade Barrett b. Santino Marella Winds of Change
Dolph Ziggler b. CM Punk via countout
Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly Small package to Eve
Big Show/John Cena/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Kane/Mark Henry Cena last eliminated Swagger to win
NXT
Alex Riley b. Michael McGillicutty TKO
Maxine b. Kaitlyn Standing dragon sleeper
Trent Barretta b. Curt Hawkins Tornado DDT
Darren Young b. Derrick Bateman Fireman's Carry into a gutbuster
Impact Wrestling
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Mickie James/Traci Brooks Eat Defeat to Brooker
Rob Van Dam b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner pulled the ring mats back
Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash Rolling DDT to Aries
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. AJ Styles/Kazarian Top rope elbow to Styles
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Kurt Angle/Bully Ray went to a double disqualification
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
Hornswoggle b. Heath Slater Slater hit the floor
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Bridging Rollup
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre Cobra
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Epico pinned Bourne after a missed Air Bourne
Tamina b. Natalya Superfly Splash
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show via disqualification when Mark Henry interfered
Genesis 2012
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen, Kid Kash and Zema Ion Aries last eliminated Sorensen to win
D-Von b. D'Angelo Dinero Reverse Inverted DDT
Gunner b. Rob Van Dam DDT on the floor
Gail Kim b. Mickie James via disqualification when Mickie hit Gail with brass knuckles
Abyss b. Bully Ray Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Magnus/Samoa Joe Double Chokeslam to Magnus
Kurt Angle b. James Storm Superkick
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode via disqualification when Roode kicked the referee
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're in a new year for TNA and we have Genesis this coming Sunday. I won't say it comes off as a throwaway show, but it feels almost like a given that Hardy is going to win the title. It almost feels like it's too much of a given actually. Anyway, tonight we have the finals of the Wild Card Tournament to determine who faces Morgan/Crimson on Sunday. Other than that there isn't much that I know of. Let's get to it.
Here's Sting to open the show. He requests Jeff come down here so here he comes too. Sting talks about Jeff rebuilding trust back one step at a time. He was dealing with some demons of his own recently but he got a second chance, just like Jeff has. Here come Angle, Ray and Roode to interrupt. Roode wants to know why Sting is endorsing Hardy instead of Roode or Angle or Ray. Roode says that Sting picks his favorites and it looks like we're going to have a fight.
Cue Storm and Abyss and I think you know where this is going. Storm gets in the faces of Roode and Angle, talking about how the Last Call put Kurt down. Abyss is his friend and he likes to drink beer too. Kurt starts to say something but Abyss shouts him down. Abyss promises to make Ray pay for the sins of Immortal. Ray starts to respond but Sting makes the required six man for later tonight.
Madison Rayne is in a bikini. No particular reason but we cut over to Traci in the other end of the pool. Gail, the camerawoman, jumps in and it's a big brawl. Mickie does the same. I'm not complaining about the four of them in swimsuits.
Knockout Tag Titles: Mickie James/Traci Brooks vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne
Big brawl to start and the challengers dominate to start. They beat Gail up with ease and send the champs to the floor as we take a break. Back with Mickie firing away on Madison in the corner. Traci and Gail get into it on the floor as Madison holds a Cravate on Mickie. Mickie hits a dropkick and everything breaks down again. Bridging rollup gets two for Mickie. Another gets the same result but Madison gets in a shot to take over again. Off to Gail and Traci as things speed up a bit. Everything breaks down as Mickie hits Madison with the top rope Thesz Press but Eat Defeat pins Traci soon thereafter at 10:30.
Flair hypes up Gunner in the back. They're going to put someone else in the hospital again but Sting pops up and says that since RVD has no partner later, Gunner won't have a manager either. Sting and Flair will be sitting in the back watching the match.
Eric is still in love with ODB and thinks they're still in the tournament.
Recap of the Wild Card Tag Tournament.
Magnus is fired up but Joe says nothing.
Not-Fourtune says they have chemistry and they trust each other.
Garrett Bischoff is back as a referee. Sting says he's a wrestler, not a referee and gives him some boots.
Eric goes into the Knockouts' locker room looking for ODB and gets yelled at. He tries to lock up with them and gets choked by Madison. Madison gets shoved into a locker and this isn't funny.
Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam
The fans get on Gunner to start but van Dam grabs a quick rollup for two. Van Dam slides to the floor and we take another break. Back and Gunner is in control with nothing of note. F5 is countered into a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rolling Thunder gets no cover. They go to the floor and RVD gets his leg caught in the ring skirt. Gunner pulls back the mats....which draws the DQ at 9:50. So you can get disqualified for threatening people?
Van Dam escapes the piledriver but his spin kick to the railing hits the railing. The agents run down to break up the piledriver.
Abyss, Storm and Hardy are ready for the main event.
So are their opponents.
Kid Kash/Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion
This is your fourway X-Division Title match on Sunday. Sorensen and Kash start us off with Kash taking a nice dropkick. Ion tags himself in, gets struck down for a few seconds and then it's off to Aries. MY GOODNESS that was a hard chop. He hits the suicide dive to Ion and then a spinebuster kind of move sets up the pendulum elbow for two. That one was much faster so it was much better and more believable. Sorensen comes back in and hits those jumping shots of his.
Kash and Aries have some heel (?) miscommunication and everyone is down. Ion comes in and hits a spinning cross body for two on Aries. Aries and Kash try a double suplex but Ion escapes and brings Sorensen in to speed things up. McGillicutter takes Aries down and a plancha puts Kash down as well. Brainbuster is countered and Sorensen goes up, but he and Ion argue over who gets to finish Aries. The distraction allows Aries to recover but Sorensen makes a blind tag and hits a Test Drive for the pin on Aries at 7:10.
AJ and Kaz are ready. Kaz was sitting in a locker and Daniels walks out of it after AJ and Kaz leave. Interesting.
ODB is taking pictures of a photographer when Eric comes up and says they have a match. They roll around on the floor and ODB kisses him. Oh geez.
Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Finals: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian
Winners get Morgan/Crimson on Sunday. AJ vs. Joe to start and that works for me. Joe takes him down to start and hooks an abdominal stretch to control. Off to Magnus vs. Kaz as the British guy gets his head kicked off. Back to AJ who drops a knee and brings Kaz back in. Joe comes back in with a senton backsplash for two. Taz is talking about bathtubs for some reason.
Kaz is playing Ricky Morton and gets beaten down by Magnus, but by the time I've typed that Kaz has rolled to the corner and brought in AJ. Springboard forearm looks to set up the Clash but Magnus escapes. Pele puts Magnus down and Daniels is in the aisle. AJ goes for a tag but Kaz drops to the floor. Joe runs over AJ and beats him down so a top rope elbow from Magnus sends he and Joe to the finals at 6:18.
Morgan and Crimson are cool with facing Magnus and Joe. The challengers pop up and brag and a brawl almost breaks out but D'Lo pops up and I think they better recognize his authority.
We run down the Genesis card.
Jeff Hardy/Abyss/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Bully Ray/Kurt Angle
Storm vs. Ray gets us going and the referee has to throw the chain....into Ray's corner. Why not like, a neutral corner to to someone not in the ring? Ray tries to get a cheap shot in the corner but gets chopped instead. Off to Abyss and Ray tries to hide. Off to the champ instead and to his credit he goes after Abyss. The heels manage some double teaming on Abyss and we take a break.
Back with Angle hammering on Abyss but it's off to Storm vs. Roode quickly. Ray clotheslines Storm down quickly and we have Beer Money and Angle in there at the same time. Ok now it's just Beer Money but Ray tags in quickly. After a quick bow and arrow hold it's back to Angle. Storm hits a Russian legsweep to put Angle down and it's hot tag to Hardy to meet Roode. Twisting Stunner gets two and everything breaks down. Everybody pairs off....and it's thrown out 12:07. LAME.
Twist to Roode post match but Ray breaks up the Swanton. Codebreaker to Roode but Angle breaks up the kick, hitting one of his own to Storm. Abyss cleans house now and tries Chock Treatment to Angle but Ray gets his chain and hits Abyss with it a few times. The bad guys rule the ring and Abyss is hung a bit. I mean a chain is put around his neck and pulled on you sick freaks. Hardy is tapping to a Crossface and we go off the air.
Results
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Mickie James/Traci Brooks Eat Defeat to Brooker
Rob Van Dam b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner pulled the ring mats back
Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash Rolling DDT to Aries
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. AJ Styles/Kazarian Top rope elbow to Styles
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Kurt Angle/Bully Ray went to a double disqualification
Friday
Impact is taping at Wembley Arena in London later this month.
Speaking of Impact: 1.1, as usual.
Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2012
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
I'm presuming Booker will be on commentary here. Anyway tonight we have a double main event with two title matches. First of all we have Booker challenging Cody for the IC Title in their rubber match in what should be good. We also get Bryan defending the world title against Big Show in what should be an interesting match as I'm really not sure how well Bryan will be able to manage against a monster. He's a great seller though which should help. Let's get to it.
We open with a video of Orton vs. Barrett last week.
Booker isn't on commentary.
Intercontinental Title: Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes
Feeling out process to start and Booker has a very mild advantage. Cody takes over and works on the arm. They chop it out with Booker winning. They're starting slowly here which implies they'll have a lot of time to work with. Booker sends him to the floor where he gets dropped onto the railing. We take a break with Rhodes in control. Back with the same circumstances, just in the ring this time.
Backslide gets two for the challenger as does a big kick. Rhodes blocks a shot into the corner and tries the top rope standing moonsault, which only partially hits. Cody seemed to have hurt his leg coming down. He isn't limping so maybe it was just a quick flash of pain. Off to a double arm hold, as in imagine if Booker is sitting down and Cody has Booker's arms like he's trying a double arm DDT or butterfly suplex.
Spinebuster takes Cody down but Booker can't hit the scissors kick or the Book End. The second attempt at the kick gets two. Big reaction on the kickout too. Cody gets up and sends Booker into the corner where he sets for the Jack Brisco sunset flip but Cody stays in the middle of the ring. Booker tries a side kick but Cody ducks and hits the Beautiful Disaster for the pin at 9:12 shown of 12:42.
Cody is walking in the back and Dustin pops up to congratulate him on a big victory. Cody yells at him, saying this is why they don't talk. He's already more of a success than his brother and he might be a better one than his dad. If Dustin considers putting on the gold paint for one more run, think twice because he's a joke but not a laughing stock. Cody can change that though, so don't try it.
Ryder is with Teddy and says he's stepping down as assistant to the GM. Drew pops in but Ryder offers up Santino to be the new assistant, which is accepted. Zack leaves and Santino mentions some of the things he can do for Teddy, including syncing his iPod. As for Drew, he's got Santino tonight and if he loses, he's on very thin ice. If Santino wins, he's officially the assistant. Drew leaves and here's Aksana. Santino leaves while the two of them make dinner plans.
Royal Rumble moment: Cena returns. Screw WWE.com's list. That's the #1 moment in the history of the Rumble.....maybe. It's probably either that or Hogan vs. Warrior. Either way it's better than their's: Shawn survives from #1.
Alicia is talking to AJ and AJ is really happy with Daniel. She's worried about his match though. Bryan pops up to a pop which I don't buy. He brags about beating Big Show and Alicia leaves. AJ is nervous about the match and Bryan is very confident. Sex is implied for later.
Hornswoggle vs. Heath Slater
This is an over the top rope challenge, so basically a two man battle royal. Horny looks at something in the lights and when Slater looks, Horny stomps on his foot. Slater chokes in the corner as we're certainly in a comedy match. Horny tries a middle rope cross body but gets caught. Slater tries to dump him but Horny uses leverage and hair for the win at 1:37. This was just for the kids.
Slater beats him down post match but Gabriel makes the save. He hits the 450 and we cut to a very closeup shot on Slater, as in it looked like it was about a foot from his body on the mat and pointed at the corner.
Don't be a bully.
Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico
Camacho, the bodyguard, has a mic. Oh wait it's Hunico with the mic and Camacho is riding the bike. Both of them talk and aren't happy that they didn't get invited to join the DiBiase Posse. That Lowrider bike just isn't working for me. Hunico tries to speed things up to start and hooks a headscissors which DiBiase countered into kind of a reverse sitout powerbomb. That could be a solid finisher if used by some power guy.
Hunico takes it to the mat and hooks a Fujiwara Armbar. DiBiase comes back and hits some dropkicks but Dream Street is countered. The arm goes into the buckle and Hunico locks in one of the weirdest pinning combinations I've ever seen. Basically DiBiase looked like he was in a backslide but Hunico was on one knee with DiBiase's legs on his shoulders and was looking the other way. No idea what that's called but it gets the pin at 3:06.
At the end of the day though, they're riding away on a bicycle. Not working for me.
Here's Barret and apparently this is supposed to be an update on Orton. Barrett says he'll be handling this update instead of the doctors. We see a clip of the end of the show last week. As for the medical update, he has a herniated disc. As for his career update, he's done. Oh sure he might try to come back someday but his mental edge is gone.
That brings us to the Royal Rumble in Orton's hometown, where Orton will have to sit in the crowd and watch him win. There isn't a single superstar that can stop him from winning. Cue Sheamus with a rebuttal. I like the idea of this feud as Sheamus needs something to do until the Rumble and Barrett can't get to Bryan yet while the monsters are still after him. Sheamus says Barrett is like his uncle: a big talker, but just a sheepherder. Well at least he's not a bushwhacker. However the uncle had been kicked in the head as a child so he wasn't all there. Now what's Barrett's excuse?
They're about to fight when they're interrupted by.....Jinder Mahal? He doesn't say anything but slaps Sheamus in the face. Sheamus fights them off but sets for a Celtic Cross on Barrett. Mahal gets in a shot but Sheamus destroys him again. Sheamus walks into Winds of Change and Barrett leaves. Sheamus gets put in a camel clutch and Jinder stands tall. Why are they going with this match again? Sheamus has destroyed him every time they've been together and they're doing it again? Why? Hopefully so it'll lead to Barrett vs. Sheamus, which is what it probably is.
We recap the Show/Bryan/Henry ordeal at TLC.
Santino Marella vs. Drew McIntyre
If Santino wins he's the assistant to the GM and Drew is on very thin ice. Santino does his splits and hammers away. Drew comes back with a suplex, getting two. Futureshock is countered but Drew keeps control. Drew sets up a superplex but Santino slips off the top (intentionally) and sends Drew into the post. Cobra ends this at 2:28. Cole: We're going to go the way of WCW with these two running the show. I'm fine with Santino here as it's going to be played for comedy and it gives him something to do. No harm no foul here as Drew isn't doing anything anyway.
In the back, Drew is freaking out when Teddy comes in. Drew says that can't count because of a greased rope or something. Teddy says that's strike two and next week, if it's strike three he very well may be out.
Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom
Non-title here. Rosa is rather enjoying to watch. We haven't seen the champs in awhile. I think that's Epico starting with Bourne. Bourne lands on his feet out of a snapmare attempt and it's off to Kofi. The champs combine to do AJ Styles' dropdown to the dropkick spot. Rosa: Ay caramba! Off to Primo as we hear about Epico playing baseball at Western Michigan University. Kofi gets in a shot and double tags bring in Bourne and Primo. Bourne speeds things up and everything breaks down. Kofi sets to dive but Rosa blocks I think Primo. Bourne tries Air Bourne but Epico pulls Primo out and Bourne crashes, getting pinned at 3:50.
Big Show says that tonight he'll be conscious and he'll get the title back. Bryan may be a good wrestler....and here he is. Bryan comes off like a total jerk here, talking about how Show is all natural and Bryan had to work to get where he is. If Bryan had been born as big as Show is, it wouldn't have been 9 years between his title reigns. Show puts his hand on his shoulder and says don't make me hurt you out there. Bryan doesn't like being touched and is very defensive about it. Pretty heelish promo by Bryan here.
Sheamus vs. Jinder next week.
Natalya vs. Tamina
We get a quick highlight package of both of their papas before the match. Natalya takes her down quickly and pounds away at Tamina, shouting about family. Tamina tries a cross body but bounces off Natalya instead of falling on top of her. A Samoan Drop sets up the Superfly Splash and we're done at 1:42. Standard Divas match anymore.
Raw ReBound.
Still don't be a bully. If we have to Stand Up For WWE this fall again I'll pull my hair out.
The same Rumble moment from Raw is shown here: Hacksaw winning it.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan
Henry joins us for commentary, probably giving away the ending already. We get big match intros. Cole asks Henry who would win between Bryan and Hornswoggle. Henry GOES OFF, ranting about how that has nothing to do with this match and how it has nothing to do with him not having the title, which is all that matters here. Henry: If you don't got nothing intelligent to say, don't say nothing at all.
Show charges right at Bryan so the champ has to use speed maneuvers. Josh asks Henry if he thinks it's fair that Show gets the first shot. Henry says no so Josh points out that Show was the champion that Bryan beat. He gets cut off by Henry who tells Josh to shut up. I'm LOVING Henry on commentary here. He's all ticked off and tells people what he thinks. Show grabs him by the throat and throws him to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Bryan firing away kicks to no effect. He goes to the floor and after a quick switch, Bryan hits a baseball slide to send Show back to the table. Henry: Why you all jumping? Cole: It might have something to do with a 500lb man coming at us. A plancha is caught but Show's knees go into the post. His head does the same and Bryan tries to win via countout. Back in and Show is mad.
Bryan manages to get his to his knees and fires off the kicks which have no effect. Cole and Henry are cracking me up with Henry refusing to admit he's wrong on anything, even stuff that makes no sense and scaring Cole into agreeing. That's what a monster should do. Bryan goes outside again so Show pulls him up by the hair. FREAKING OW MAN! Bryan tries something off the top but jumps into a chop. Show comes out of the corner and spears Bryan down for a very delayed two.
Henry is standing up now. He actually gives Bryan credit for kicking out of that. Show pulls the straps down and calls for the chokeslam but Bryan counters into a guillotine. Why Show doesn't use his free hand to punch Bryan in the ribs is beyond me but whatever. Bryan is bleeding from the mouth and he shifts to a LeBell Lock. Show breaks it pretty easily and pulls up the big punch but Bryan hits the floor. Bryan gets in Henry's face and Henry shoves him, so Bryan yells to the referee and it's a DQ. Total heel move there by Bryan. Match ran 6:17 shown of 9:47.
Bryan does the huge post match celebration as usual.
Results
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
Hornswoggle b. Heath Slater Slater hit the floor
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Bridging Rollup
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre Cobra
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Epico pinned Bourne after a missed Air Bourne
Tamina b. Natalya Superfly Splash
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show via disqualification when Mark Henry interfered
Saturday
WWE has officially cut the number of PPVs this year to 12 instead of 13. HIAC has moved into Vengeance's spot and it hasn't been replaced.
Sunday
Genesis 2012
Date: January 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Today is the genesis of the beginning of the genesis of the....oh wait wrong company. It's the first TNA PPV of the year and we have Hardy vs. Roode in the main event. The card has been fairly well built up on paper and I'm somewhat interested in what happens tonight. Also we have Angle vs. Storm II (officially III but I don't count the first one) so I'd picture Storm to lose to set up an eventual third match at Lockdown, although they might do a draw at Against All Odds to bridge the gap. Let's get to it.
We open with Robert Roode arriving. Jeff got here about two hours earlier.
X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen
I didn't know this but it's elimination rules. The fans seem to like Jesse the most. Aries chills on the floor to start and Sorensen cleans house. A northern lights gets two on Ion and Aries comes in. This is one of those matches where there's no point in trying to keep track of everything that's going on. Kash and Aries are sent to the floor and after Ion is put up top it's the Tower of Doom! That hasn't been used in awhile.
Aries goes up top but Ion shoves him down to the floor onto Kash. Ion hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor to take the two of them out. Sorensen of course follows in the customary series of dives. Still gets a great reaction from the crowd too. Jesse gets two on Aries back inside. Ion gets sent into the corner so Kash tries a superplex, but Aries is whipped into the corner to send Kash crashing. Ion stands up and hits the 450 on Kash to put him out first.
Aries busts out the 450 on Sorensen for just two. The fans are WAY behind Jesse here. Top rope cross body gets two on Aries. A suplex into a cutter kind of move gets the same as Ion breaks up the pin because he's an idiot. Ion goes after Jesse but walks into a small package for the second elimination to get us down to one on one. Aries rolls up Sorensen but Ion has the referee.
Brainbuster is countered into the Game Changer (Test Drive into a DDT) but Ion's distraction keeps it at just two. Aries breaks up something off the top but runs into a boot in the corner. Ion is ducked out of sight on the floor. Sorensen goes up but Ion crotches him, letting Aries dropkick him and a middle rope brainbuster keeps the title on Aries 10:59.
D-Von's kids are in the back and they already get on my nerves. They're dressed like Pope and are both sixteen. Why we're wasting a decent story like this on Elijah Burke and D-Von Dudley is beyond me. Pope says he'll get rid of D-Von tonight.
Recap of D-Von vs. Pope. Basically it's been six months of D-Von yelling at his kids while they like Pope until they finally turned on their dad.
D'Angelo Dinero vs. D-Von
D-Von starts fast and sends Pope to the floor with a lot of punches. There isn't much to say here as it's just D-Von hammering away on him. The fans are split here, thereby again proving that either A, faces and heels mean nothing in TNA or B, the Impact Zone needs to shut up. D-Von finally gets caught by a shot and Pope takes over.
Pope beats him to the floor and hits a jumping axe handle to the floor. Off to a chinlock as the dueling chants continue. We get a Ronnie Garvin reference to make me roll my eyes. Pope was using a Garvin Stomp, so Taz says those are rugged kicks. Naturally has has to say get it to Tenay to get rid of the humor to it but that's Taz for you.
With D-Von down, his kids come in. Pope says get him and they're apprehensive about it. Dinero shoves them and then throws one of them to the floor. He hits the other one and D-Von snaps. The kids never touched him so it's not a DQ. D-Von hits some power stuff as the fans want a table. Pope gets out of a fireman's carry and hits an uppercut. A flying shoulder gets two for the former Dudley. Corner splash misses and a neckbreaker gets no cover for Pope. The boys are back up and the DDE misses. D-Von hits the inverted reverse DDT for the pin at 10:17.
D-Von reunites with his kids post match. So we just wasted 6 months for that payoff? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
Sting is in the back for an interview and Velvet wants to talk to him. She wants the Knockouts VP job. Velvet goes on a big rant, talking about how Madison made herself the boss and it shouldn't count. Velvet has a plan to keep Madison occupied during the title match and whispers it in Sting's ear. He likes it but there's not enough time according to Sting. She asked the crew about it earlier and it's called the Velvet Touch. No idea what it is but Sting says go with it. She leaves and Sting talks about the main event. Hardy earned his title shot tonight and got here one step at a time. Sting says he's in charge, not Roode.
Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam
Rematch from Impact after the weak ending. They actually go to the mat to start as Gunner is getting frustrated. Rollup gets two for RVD. Crucifix gets one and it's a standoff. Gunner takes over with strikes and we head to the floor. Van Dam gets in a kick to take over and sends Gunner back in, but has to chase Flair off. He gets crotched on top but throws Gunner down on the way back in.
Top rope cross body gets two. Top rope kick sets up Rolling Thunder for two. Gunner rolls to the floor so RVD dives, only to have Flair pull Gunner out of the way. With Flair distracting the referee, Gunner DDTs him on the floor to basically kill him. He's out cold and that's enough for the pin at 6:52. Man that match went by fast.
RVD goes out on a stretcher post match. He keeps trying to get the neck brace off.
Hardy is in the back and says he doesn't brag about what he did. He's modest and another him is what there will never be. Creatures, mount up because they have a world title to win.
We recap the Knockout Title match. Gail returned and sided with the forces of evil, allegedly taking the division back ten years.
Velvet's Touch is a small cage at ringside.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Gail Kim
And now the box with Madison in it is going to the ceiling. The bars are painted pink and white. The match starts as the cage is being raised, letting Gail get in a shot to take over. Mickie speeds things up to take over, hitting a low dropkick for two. Gail gets in a shot and the fans are split, although leaning towards Mickie. She avoids a slide by Mickie and hooks a Dragon Sleeper which is pretty easily countered.
Mickie starts a comeback and speeds things up. There's the nip up but she gets caught in an Octopus Hold (kind of) which she countered with something like a Samoan Drop. Jumping DDT is blocked but Gail is knocked outside. Out to the floor and Mickie hits a hurricanrana. Back in and the flying crotch to the face gets two. Madison throws an object to Gail which is intercepted. Another object (brass knucks I think) are sent down but caught by Mickie. She decks Gail and it's a DQ at 6:21. The fans chant BS for some reason, despite it being pretty clear what happened.
Ray says he used to be nervous about the Monster's Ball but he realized he's the king of these matches, so tonight Abyss rejoins Immortal. Thankfully Ray lists off the members of Immortal because I had no idea who was still in it. Gunner is apparently. Who knew?
We recap Abyss vs. Ray. Basically Immortal can't stop him so for some reason he's agreed to this match where if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin Immortal.
Bully Ray vs. Abyss
This is Monster's Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here's a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.
Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they're back already. They weren't off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss' arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.
He doesn't open them yet and instead it's a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.
Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it's TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks....for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That's enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.
Crimson and Morgan say they're awesome and that they'll win.
Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Crimson vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus
Joe starts with Morgan and the tall one is taken down quickly. Off to Crimson who is the least interesting undefeated person this side of Tatanka. Magnus comes in and gets double teamed by the champs. Morgan hits his corner elbows and Crimson hits an overhead suplex for two. Back to Joe who runs Morgan over. Crimson comes in and has the same result as Morgan had.
Magnus comes back in and we go split screen as Ray is beating up Abyss. And now we're back full screen as Joe has a chinlock on Crimson. We get a dueling We Want Morgan/No We Don't chants. Crimson spears Joe down and we're told that Bully Ray is trending worldwide on Twitter. Off to Morgan who hits the Hellevator (not called that) to Magnus but Joe breaks up the pin.
In a HORRIBLE looking sequence, Joe hits a bunch of strikes in the corner, followed by the middle rope elbow from Magnus. It only gets two though, due to Crimson breaking it up. The horrible part: Magnus flew off of Morgan about a second and a half before Crimson even touched him. Magnus reverses a chokeslam but a double version is enough to pin Magnus at 9:38.
Storm says he's ready for Angle. He doesn't want to be interviewed though so he changes places, putting the hat and glasses on JB and asks about JB's match with Angle tonight. This translates into you gotta believe.....somehow.
We recap Angle vs. Storm. Basically Angle says Storm is a barfighter and not a wrestler.
James Storm vs. Kurt Angle
Angle stalls to open us up. Storm grabs a headlock and goes for the Last Call about a minute in. Kurt heads to the floor again for a few seconds. Back in, James hits a facebuster and neckbreaker for two. Another Last Call attempt sends Kurt to the floor. Storm hits a slingshot dive to the floor to keep control. Back in the ring Kurt finally gets Storm to the mat and you know he'll control there. Off to a chinlock.
Taz says Kurt has the best cardio ever. I think there's an old manager on this roster that might take exception to that. Storm comes back with a Russian legsweep and a Backstabber for two. How can we be ten minutes into this already? The chinlock must have lasted longer than I thought. Angle hits Rolling Germans as Taz actually explains what makes suplexes work.
The moonsault mostly hits for two. Storm pops up with a DDT for two. They're doing a fairly slow build here and that's just fine. Angle Slam hits for two. The fans don't even react to the kickout anymore. Angle tries a superkick but Storm avoids it into a cutter for two. Top rope elbow gets the same for the same person. And then Kurt pulls the referee out of position, hits a low blow and a superkick for the pin at 13:45.
Ray is in the back and doesn't know where Abyss is. It's implied he's hiding something.
We recap Hardy vs. Roode. Basically it's Roode is champion and selfish while it's Hardy's chance to come back to glory.
Roode says this is disgusting because Hardy has no business here.
TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode
Roode grabs the arm to start but Hardy takes him down with an armdrag. Headscissors out of the corner by Hardy sets up a little sequence of offense, capped off by a low dropkick for two. Out to the floor and Hardy hits Poetry in Motion using the steps. Tenay calls it a dropkick for some reason. Back in Hardy goes up but gets crotched to shift momentum.
Roode throws him into the corner chest first for two. Suplex sets up a middle rope kneedrop for two. Off to the chinlock by Roode and they go to the floor again. Back in, Roode hooks the Crossface and the fans don't really react at all. Roode goes up but misses whatever he was trying to put both guys down. Hardy starts his comeback and hits a Russian legsweep and that splitlegged cover he does.
Jawbreaker doesn't do much to Roode as he snaps off a spinebuster for two. Roode tries a superplex but Hardy knocks him off. The champ avoids the Swanton and heads to the floor again. Roode gets the belt and goes to leave but Hardy brings him back. Roode grabs a quick fisherman's suplex for two. Twisting Stunner puts Roode onto his knees but the Whisper in the Wind gets two. There's another attempt at the Twist and Roode bails again.
Hardy follows him up the ramp and throws him back. Roode has the belt but it gets knocked out of his hands. Hardy tries another Twist but the referee breaks it up so that it's not onto the belt. Roode tries a rollup with feet on the ropes but it only gets two. The champ begs off...and then kicks the referee low for the REALLY FREAKING LAME DQ. Jeff hits a Twist but the bell rings before a cover. I forgot to check the clock but it was about 20:00.
The fans IMMEDIATELY chant that they want Sting. Hardy hits a Swanton and holds up the belt...and that's it. No seriously, that's the end of the show.
Results
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen, Kid Kash and Zema Ion Aries last eliminated Sorensen to win
D-Von b. D'Angelo Dinero Reverse Inverted DDT
Gunner b. Rob Van Dam DDT on the floor
Gail Kim b. Mickie James via disqualification when Mickie hit Gail with brass knuckles
Abyss b. Bully Ray Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Magnus/Samoa Joe Double Chokeslam to Magnus
Kurt Angle b. James Storm Superkick
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode via disqualification when Roode kicked the referee
Quick Results
Raw
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes Small Package
Wade Barrett b. Santino Marella Winds of Change
Dolph Ziggler b. CM Punk via countout
Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly Small package to Eve
Big Show/John Cena/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Kane/Mark Henry Cena last eliminated Swagger to win
NXT
Alex Riley b. Michael McGillicutty TKO
Maxine b. Kaitlyn Standing dragon sleeper
Trent Barretta b. Curt Hawkins Tornado DDT
Darren Young b. Derrick Bateman Fireman's Carry into a gutbuster
Impact Wrestling
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Mickie James/Traci Brooks Eat Defeat to Brooker
Rob Van Dam b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner pulled the ring mats back
Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash Rolling DDT to Aries
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. AJ Styles/Kazarian Top rope elbow to Styles
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Kurt Angle/Bully Ray went to a double disqualification
Smackdown
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T Beautiful Disaster
Hornswoggle b. Heath Slater Slater hit the floor
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Bridging Rollup
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre Cobra
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Epico pinned Bourne after a missed Air Bourne
Tamina b. Natalya Superfly Splash
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show via disqualification when Mark Henry interfered
Genesis 2012
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen, Kid Kash and Zema Ion Aries last eliminated Sorensen to win
D-Von b. D'Angelo Dinero Reverse Inverted DDT
Gunner b. Rob Van Dam DDT on the floor
Gail Kim b. Mickie James via disqualification when Mickie hit Gail with brass knuckles
Abyss b. Bully Ray Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Magnus/Samoa Joe Double Chokeslam to Magnus
Kurt Angle b. James Storm Superkick
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode via disqualification when Roode kicked the referee