klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 19, 2015
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is a special episode as it's not only the go home show for the Royal Rumble but also the Raw Reunion with some big names being brought back in for an appearance. Those are almost always at least somewhat interesting, though there are other times where the legends are just there without doing anything special. Let's get to it.
We open with a tribute to Martin Luther King, which WWE airs in some form every year.
Opening sequence.
Here are Heyman and Lesnar to get things going. Brock cuts off Heyman's intro and says he's here to fight Seth Rollins. He gives Rollins ten seconds and the crowd is nice enough to count it down for him. Instead, here's HHH to address the champ. He understands that Brock is upset about getting Curb Stomped into the ground. However, wouldn't Brock have done that if he had the chance?
After all, he suplexed Rollins first, so maybe Seth's actions are understandable. Maybe we should just go to the back and get Brock a steak while he and Heyman talk about things. Brock isn't pleased and asks if HHH is here to fix this or fight. Heyman loses his mind but here are Stephanie with Big Show and Kane to intervene. Lesnar and the Authority have a standoff but Rollins pops up on screen (prompting Heyman to grab his own head and shout OH NO).
He'll be getting his shot at Lesnar soon enough, right before he takes Brock's title. Heyman says let the adults talk about things and wants the Authority to put a leash on their puppy. If they don't fix things, the roster is going to be destroyed and Lesnar is walking out Sunday with the champion. Cue Cena (now in a blue shirt and hat) to say that they're going to beat each other up on Sunday. However, he's here to talk to the Authority.
They offered him a spot on the team a few months back but he politely declined. Every week, the Authority tries to make him quit, but he wants them to keep it up. Every single thing they say and do lights a new fire him that he's taking to the Rumble this Sunday to get the title back. The Authority used their power and politics to get three people fired, so he's going to enjoy sticking it to them this Sunday.
Stephanie cuts off his exit and says Cena reached a turning point when he brought back the Authority. Now he's a loser and a liar and no one wants to cheer that. Rollins says Cena will fail again on Sunday because Cena's time is up. He should just duck out of the match on Sunday and walk off with whatever dignity he has left.
Cena of course mocks Rollins for saying tuck his legs between his legs before saying everyone will respect him after Sunday. Cena offers to sweeten the pot: if he wins the title Sunday, Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler get their jobs back. HHH seems intrigued but wants one more stipulation: Cena has to have a match tonight and if he wins, all three of them get their jobs back. If he loses though, they stay fired and he's out of the triple threat. We're still not done though because HHH wants to make it an App poll.
How to download the App.
This opening segment was ridiculous. First of all, you bring out Stephanie as the mediator? Of course, because Stephanie is the greatest thing in the history of ever and her mere presence can soothe the savage beast. Then you have even more of Cena vs. the Authority because it worked with Austin vs. McMahon and......well it worked well enough with Austin vs. McMahon to mention it twice.
The stipulations are stupid and make sure you know Lesnar isn't walking out, but it does leave the door open for a Rollins cash-in after the match. Thankfully they've changed it up so those guys can get their jobs back tonight, thereby making the last two weeks totally pointless. I'm so glad we saw the Authority make those three people mildly annoyed and inconvenienced instead of destroying their lives.
Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt
Cole says it's been nearly a year since Bryan wrestled on Raw. More like eight and a half months but close enough. Cole never has been very good at counting. Bryan starts fast by knocking Bray to the floor and hitting a huge dive....and here's Kane, leading to a break less than two minutes into the match. Stephanie wants to talk? All the time in the world. Rematch of a Match of the Year candidate? Two minutes and we NEED a break.
Back with Bray missing a charge into the middle buckle but still being able to knock Bryan off the top rope. Bray puts on a nerve hold before hitting his flying body block to put Daniel down again. The announcers start speculating about Bryan's potential Rumble spot and him not having the cardio to get through the whole match as Bray drops knees and goes to a chinlock. Back up and Bray hits a HARD clothesline, sending Daniel out to the floor, holding his neck.
We return from another break with Bray getting two off a backsplash. Bryan scores with a running clot, followed by the running dropkick in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gets two and it's time to unleash the kicks. Wyatt gets clotheslined to the floor and the Flying Goat takes him down again. Kane gets in a cheap shot on the way back in though, allowing Bray to send him into the buckle, followed by Sister Abigail for the pin at 16:13.
Kane chokeslams Bryan post match and hits some bad looking right hands.
HHH is on the phone when Scott Hall and Kevin Nash (in NWO shirts) come into his office. They mock him for wearing a suit and ask him to come out with them tonight. Shawn Michaels pops in and offers HHH a spot on the legends panel. HHH should drop the suit, bring back the three fired guys and make their lives miserable here. HHH: I don't tell you how to shoot defenseless animals.
Nash wonders where X-Pac is and here's Damien Mizdow in X-Pac attire. The real one comes in and they do the poses until Miz comes in to take Mizdow away. Nash: What kind of show are you running? You knew this was coming and it was fine. Mizdow's history with DX wasn't mentioned, even though it was the high point of his career back then.
We recap HHH putting the Cena match to a fan vote.
It's time for the Royal Rumble Legends Panel with guests Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels. The first question is should Cena put his title shot on the line to get the three jobs back. Only Flair says no and only Hogan's answer is more than one word long with definitely yes. Ric says winning the Rumble was still the greatest night of his career and defeating people like Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Roddy Piper and Randy Savage made it even better.
Shawn is asked about winning back to back Rumbles and the famous shot of his foot dangling above the ground. He talks about the Rumble being the future and the winner's future being Wrestlemania. Shawn says the two men next to him wouldn't be where they are now without the Rumble and there wouldn't be a Mr. Wrestlemania without the Royal Rumble. Hogan goes last and says he remembers the competition in the Rumble and dfeating super talent after super talent to win the matches. Thankfully he had Hulkamania in his corner to help him survive.
As for this year's picks, Shawn goes with Bray Wyatt and Hogan isn't pleased. Shawn gets annoyed and wants a rematch of Summerslam 2005. Hogan: You don't want any of that again do you? Shawn: Nah probably not. Hogan picks Daniel Bryan and Flair goes with Ambrose, but here's Big Show because where would we be without him. He says all three of them are jealous of him and brings up beating Hogan at Halloween Havoc 1995. Then he beat Flair for the World Title on Nitro a few months later. Then he showed up in the WWF and Shawn retired (not quite) because he knew Big Show would eat him alive.
Now the three of them are washed up has beens out here begging for a bit of attention. He's going to win on Sunday and no one in the back can stop him. The fans are already looking up for Reigns. Show threatens to bea tthem all up so Flair takes his jacket off and starts throwing punches, only to take the KO Punch. Cue Reigns to check on the legends and clothesline Big Show out to the floor. Show comes up favoring his arm and bails.
The votes are in and Cena is going to put his title shot on the line to save the jobs by a vote of 85% to 15%. Cena says the most important part of the WWE is the WWE Universe and tonight he's fighting for his friends.
Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title. Dean takes him to the mat to start before running Barrett over with an elbow and clothesline. A power drive elbow gets two but Barrett comes back with a kick to the throat and another to the jaw. Ambrose comes back by knocking Barrett to the floor as we take a break. Of note here, the bottom line said that the series finale of Rivalries is airing tomorrow night on the Network. There have been six episodes and they're already canceling it? It's a good idea for a show and they can only come up with six shows, but they can have twenty Monday Night Wars shows? Really?
Back with Dean laid across the top rope and getting forearmed in the back for two. It's already off to the chinlock until Dean fights up with a bulldog out of the corner. The standing elbow drop gets two but the knee gives out, meaning Dean can't hit the running dropkick. He can however hit the rebounding clothesline and goes up top, only to get caught in the Wasteland. Dean fights out of that and Dirty Deeds pins Barrett at 8:16.
It's time for Rumble by the numbers.
30 men
782 entrants eliminated
2 feet must hit the floor
39 eliminations for Shawn Michaels, the all time record
38 eliminations for Kane, second place
15 years that Kane has eliminated someone
11 eliminations in 2001 to give Kane the record for a single matching
12 eliminations in 2014 for Roman Reigns to break the record
216,577 or 108 tons in the Rumble over the years
9 won in Rumble debut
43 Hall of Famers have competed
26 nations have been represented
1 time the Rumble has broadcasted on the Network
170 countries have the Network
170,822 people in attendance
3 Steve Austin victories
1 second that Santino Marella lasted to set the record
62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted to set the record
3:51:32 that HHH has spent in the Rumble, the longest all time
2 winners from both #1 and #30
Here's the New Day to say they're always positive to keep the rage under control. They're here to make sure everyone has a smile on their face and they're doing it for the day. Woods is out with an ankle injury so it's just a tag here.
Kofi Kingston/Big E. vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd
Rose is on the floor as well because he feels forgotten by WWE, just like Kidd and Cesaro. Big E. throws Kidd into the air for a dropkick from Kofi, but Rose offers a distraction so Cesaro can sneak in an uppercut. A suplex/side slam combo (called a Blockbuster by Booker) gets two on Kofi and the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick gets the same with Big E. having to make a save. Cesaro picks Kofi up to drive him into the corner but Kofi kicks off of Kidd and rolls up Cesaro for the pin out of nowhere at 2:59. It's nice to see them change the formula up for once instead of the same thing over and over. It keeps it a bit exciting.
Here's the NWO (Hall, Nash and Waltman) for a chat. The fact that Hall is allowed on live TV is proof that DDP should be canonized. Nash says the NWO created the Monday Night Wars, which you can relive on the WWE Network. You're welcome Hunter. They're responsible for Austin, DX and the Attitude Era. Nash acknowledges they have egos, but you have to admit they created every single good thing ever. Waltman gets the mic but here's Ascension to interrupt.
They see the NWO as three dogs ready to be put out of their misery, because Ascension was born and bred to rip and shred. No team from the past, present or future is better than they are, especially not one from WCW. The NWO is ready to fight but JBL won't have any of this. He takes off the jacket and tie and says wearing spikes doesn't make you a legend any more than painting yourself green makes you a frog. He was afraid this would happen, so he made a phone call. JBL takes off his shirt to reveal an APA shirt and here's Ron Simmons.
Before anything happens though, here are the New Age Outlaws in Dallas Cowboys jerseys to interrupt. Dogg says an old school party doesn't stop and the brawl is on with only the Outlaws getting physical. Billy hits a nice tilt-a-whirl slam and JBL starts stretching his arm. The Clothesline knocks Viktor silly and Waltman pulls off the NWO shirt to reveal the DX colors. This was every bit as fun as I thought it was going to be and was one of the better old school reunion segments. Also, anyone for JBL in the Hall of Fame?
The Authority announces Cena's opponent for later tonight. Complete with a drum roll, it's Cena vs. Seth Rollins, Big Show and Kane. A bugler comes up to play Taps.
Paige/Natalya vs. Summer Rae/Alicia Fox
The Bellas are on commentary and will be facing Paige/Natalya at the Rumble. A double suplex gets two on Summer but Natalya goes after Alicia, allowing Rae to spin kick her for two. Natalya gets over for the hot tag to Paige and things speed up with Alicia eating a superkick for two. Everything breaks down and another superkick sets up the PTO for the submission at 2:55. I'm glad they're not doing the Nikki vs. Natalya title match as we've seen it so many times already that whatever appeal it had is long gone.
The Kickoff match this Sunday is New Day vs. Cesaro/Kidd/Rose in an elimination tag.
Rusev vs. R-Truth
Only Truth gets an entrance and he's a step off on his rap. Truth says everyone is coming for Rusev on Sunday and that's the whole truth. Whomp there it is. Truth quickly knocks him over the top but eats the jumping superkick. The Accolade makes him tap at 46 seconds.
Rollins and Lesnar meet up in the back and Brock suggests that Seth take Cena out tonight. Then Brock can take Rollins out on Sunday. Unlike last week, Rollins looks shaken.
Jey Uso vs. Miz
Gah do something else already. Miz spends too much time looking at Mizdow and gets rolled up for two. Some choking sets up the Reality Check for two and we hit the chinlock. The top rope ax handle drops Jey but he avoids a charge, sending Miz into the post. A superkick and the Superfly Splash are good for the pin on Miz at 2:56. I can't imagine Miz and Mizdow are still together this time next week.
Hogan says it can only get better for Cena from here.
The New Age Outlaws vs. the Ascension has been added to Sunday.
John Cena vs. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins
One fall to a finish and it's Cena vs. Big Show to start but John wants to go after Rollins. Show scores with a big chop and it's off to Rollins to hammer Cena down. Rollins gets in some stomps in the corner but Cena's bulldog sends him rolling out to the floor. Kane gets the top and sends Cena into Big Show's boot before the bigger giant comes in for a corner splash. Cena's slam attempt fails (of course it did this early on) and we take a break.
Back with Rollins putting Cena in a sleeper before a Blockbuster gets two. Rollins misses the top rope knee though and Cena scores with the shoulders. The ProtoBomb puts Rollins down again but the Stooges break up the AA attempt. Rollins blasts him with a low superkick for two but the AA connects, only to have Kane pulls Cena outside. Big Show adds a spear and the Authority is literally standing over Cena gloating. He dives in at nine though and gets chokeslammed for two. Rollins loads up the Curb Stomp.....and STING shows up on the screen. He walks into the arena and Cena rolls up Rollins for the pin at 13:08.
Cena goes into the crowd and HHH shouts that Sting doesn't belong here. Cue Lesnar for right hands to Rollins, an F5 to Kane and an AA (yes an AA) to Big Show. Heyman holds up the title as Rollins runs away to end the show. Lesnar looked like and was received like a superhero here.
Results
Bray Wyatt b. Daniel Bryan Sister Abigail
Dean Ambrose b. Bad News Barrett Dirty Deeds
New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd Rollup to Cesaro
Natalya/Paige b. Alicia Fox/Summer Rae PTO to Fox
Rusev b. R-Truth Accolade
Jey Uso b. Miz Superfly Splash
John Cena b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins Rollup to Rollins
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 21, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Jason Albert
Things are starting to pick up again in NXT with Kevin Owens making another appearance last week to lay out NXT Champion Sami Zayn after a successful title defense against Adrian Neville. These two are on a collision course and there's no way the match isn't going to be awesome. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens over the last few weeks. Neville promises revenge.
William Regal announces the next Takeover special for February 11. There will be a tournament for the #1 contendership starting tonight, as well as Charlotte defending against Sasha Banks. As usual, Regal keeps this quick as he was on screen less than a minute and announced a show, a tournament and a title match.
Opening sequence.
Sami Zayn vs. Tye Dillinger
Sami charges the ring and EXPLODES on Dillinger, knocking him to the floor before the bell rings. No match I'm assuming.
Zayn demands Owens get out here right now but he gets Regal instead. The champ says he isn't wrestling one more match unless it's against Owens so get him out here right now. Regal says he can't do that because Owens hasn't earned a title shot yet. Sami offers to make it non-title or whatever he has to do to get his hands on Owens. He won't explode out of respect for Regal, but he'll do whatever Regal asks him to get what he wants. Regal agrees and makes the showdown for Takeover.
Owens vs. Zayn at Takeover will be non-title.
Regal says Owens and Zayn will sign the contract next week.
#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Curtis Axel vs. Finn Balor
I love how foreboding Balor's music is. Fans: FINN'S GONNA KILL YOU! Axel elbows him in the face to start so Balor knocks him to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in and Axel clotheslines him in the back of the head for two and nails a great looking dropkick. The fans keep it simple by telling Axel that he sucks.
We hit the chinlock before a running knee to the head gets two more. It's amazing how much easier Axel matches are to sit through when he doesn't have all the big expectations behind him. Heyman seems to have caused him more problems than good. Balor fights back up with the Pele and Sling Blade, followed by the top rope double stomp for the pin to advance at 4:55.
Here are the full tournament brackets.
Finn Balor
Curtis Axel
Adrian Neville
Tyson Kidd
Hideo Itami
Tyler Breeze
Baron Corbin
Bull Dempsey
Sasha Banks says Charlotte has no one to protect her tonight and it's time to win the title. She doesn't care if Devin has any more questions.
Bull Dempsey swears revenge next week.
Women's Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
They grapple to the mat to start with Charlotte getting the better of it but having to nail Becky in the face. Back in and Charlotte hammers away but Becky comes in for the DQ at 2:15. Not much of a match due to time.
Bayley comes in for the save but eventually picks up the title. Charlotte isn't cool with that and eats a Belly to Bayley. It doesn't seem like a heel turn as Bayley almost looks like she regretted it. It worked for Rick Steiner back in 1989 (albeit in a face turn) so why not here? Regal comes out and makes a fourway title match for Takeover.
Kevin Owens doesn't want to be interviewed and will say whatever he has to say to Sami's face next week.
Vaudevillains vs. Buddy Murphy/Wesley Blake
The Vaudevillains have been doing dinosaur training to make up for their recent losses, which apparently involves the Iron Sheik's Persian clubs. English misses a forearm to Murphy in the corner to start and eats a running forearm, only to take Buddy into the corner for a beating. Off to Gotch for a suplex for two and English hooks a chinlock. Murphy finally rolls over for the tag to Blake who gets a fast two off a powerslam with Gotch making the save. With the referee getting Gotch out of the ring, Murphy sneaks in a kick to the head, giving Blake the pin at 3:58.
Tyler Breeze is ready to implement his plan to separate the gorgeous ones from the uggos.
Murphy and Blake say that wasn't an upset and want a title shot next week.
#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze
Marcus Louis is seen looking at Breeze from behind the stage during Tyler's entrance. Breeze avoids a big kick to start and wags a finger at Itami. Another kick misses and the fans call Breeze a TOTAL DIVA. Breeze suckers Itami in for a kick of his own before running into a knee to the ribs. Back up and Itami gets sent face first into the middle buckle and tossed out to the floor. A dropkick (noticing a theme here?) gets two for Breeze and a neckbreaker gets an even closer near fall as we take a break.
Back with Breeze holding a chinlock but Itami fights up with clotheslines and a tornado DDT necksnap. There's the top rope clothesline followed by a release fisherman's suplex for two on Breeze. Back up and Breeze blocks an O'Connor Roll and DRILLS Hideo with the Supermodel Kick for two.
Itami is shaken up in the corner so Breeze crawls onto his back for a kind of snap crucifix for a fall so near that the referee looked like he had to slow down for the kickout. Tyler shouts that this is about him but Itami screams at him. More kicks have Breeze rocked and the running dropkick in the corner sets up a running boot to the face for the pin at 14:24.
Results
Finn Balor b. Curtis Axel Top rope double stomp
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks via DQ when Becky Lynch interfered
Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy b. Vaudevillains Kick to the head
Hideo Itami b. Tyler Breeze Running kick to the face
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Much like last week, this actually feels like a big show. The main event for tonight is again Bryan vs. Kane, now in a No DQ match with Bryan's Rumble spot on the line. The show had a significantly bigger audience last week compared to the normal audiences on Fridays, so maybe we're in for more big time shows. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of Raw with Sting helping Cena win the 3-1 handicap match to save Cena's spot in the Sunday's title match but more importantly getting Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback's jobs back.
Opening sequence.
Here's Daniel Bryan to get things going. He's excited to get on the Road to Wrestlemania and would love to talk about his No DQ match tonight and how he won't let anything stop him from winning the Royal Rumble. He could talk about how obsessed he is with getting the WWE World Heavyweight Championship back. Or he could talk about Sting's first ever appearance on Raw and how it ruined the Authority's night.
However, there's something more important than that, and it's what John Cena accomplished on Raw. There are three people with something to say about it, so here are Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler for their big returns. Well as big as they can be after just getting a few weeks off. It's really hard to care about them being fired when they're back in just a few weeks.
The fans chant FEED ME MORE at Ryback before he compares his firing to Bryan's injury. The Big Guy is back but doesn't have much more to say other than catchphrases. Rowan says being gone was sort of a blessing because he had a lot of time to sit back and think. Believe it or not, he used to be a different person. He was naive and someone's puppet, but these last few weeks have let them (as in he and the sheep mask) know who he really is.
That leaves us with Ziggler, who of course gets the biggest reaction of the three. Ziggler set around eating stuffed crust pizza and watched the HHH and Stephanie fitness DVDs. He's joking of course and brings up all the momentum he had before getting fired (because WWE loves to build people up and then take them off TV). But the Authority tried to take it away because they're a threat. He would rather stay here and take a beating like never before than going home sitting on his couch and complaining on a podcast (it had been too long since the last Punk cheap shot).
Cue the Authority minus the actual authority with Rollins saying this is a Survivor Series reunion with a garden gnome replacing Bryan. Ziggler wants to beat Rollins up right now but Rollins has more important things to do than deal with someone who sits on a couch eating stuffed crust pizza. Oh and the fitness DVDs are AWESOME! Ziggler says Rollins must enjoy them because he's never seen anyone run away from Lesnar that fast.
Kane tells Bryan to calm down because he still has to survive tonight to get into the Rumble. Bryan responds by showing a clip of Lesnar destroying Kane and Big Show to close Raw. That's not cool with Big Show who promises to win the Rumble on Sunday because the four people in the ring are all losers. Kane promises to go to depraved levels to destroy Bryan but turns his attention to Ziggler. Since he's a new employee, Ziggler has to start back at the bottom of the ladder and work his way back to the Intercontinental Title. However, Kane is willing to give Ziggler a match against Barrett right now.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title and only Ziggler can qualify with a win. Barrett easily takes him down to start but gets caught in a headlock. A nice dropkick gets two for Dolph but a headscissors is countered with a kick to the ribs. They head outside where Barrett sends him into the apron before cranking on the arm back inside. This is the kind of stuff I'd like to see more of: someone grabbing a body part and cranking on it for the middle part of the match.
A top wristlock has Ziggler in trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner. The running DDT gets two for Dolph and we take a break. Back with Barrett going back to the arm but Ziggler rolls through to send Barrett shoulder first into the post. Dolph nails a big superkick for two more and both guys are down. Back up and the champ kicks him in the ribs but the Bull Hammer is blocked, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:54.
We recap Ascension getting beaten down by the legends on Raw.
Reigns looks at the footage of Big Show going after the legends from Raw and knocking out Flair until Reigns made the save. Roman doesn't know if Renee Young has heard, but Big Show is a giant. If you haven't heard, just listen because it's all he ever talks about. Andre never had to do that because his actions did the talking.
Show also always talks about Reigns wanting his spot, but Reigns wants his own spot. In the Rumble, everyone is all over the place and his fist is cocked, locked and ready to rock. He's the one vs. all and he's the one standing at the end. Believe that. This was FAR better than his usual stuff and felt much more natural.
Fandango draws his Rumble number and seems very pleased. As he dances with Rosa, Ambrose sneaks in and steals his number. The referee monitoring the drawing has no issue with this.
Ryback vs. Rusev
Non-title again and only Ryback can qualify. Ryback hits a hard shoulder but Rusev frantically rolls outside before the cover. Back in and Ryback hits a nice suplex, sending Rusev's legs into the ropes in the process. The champ bails to the floor again but is able to dropkick a charging Ryback to take over. We take a break and come back with Rusev getting two off a DDT.
Rusev wraps the leg around the post, hoping Ryback actually sells it unlike he did in the Big Show match a few weeks back. Ryback takes advantage of Rusev's trash talking and hits a slingshot belly to back suplex and a powerslam for two. A Backpack Stunner gets two more and Ryback stops to hold his knee (to be fair Rusev didn't do much to the knee so it's not as annoying this time).
Ryback's powerbomb is countered into an Alabama Slam (Siberia Slam?) for two but he just runs Rusev over. For some reason Ryback goes up top, only to be quickly crotched down for two. Rusev tells himself to crush but Ryback fights out of the Accolade and loads up the Meathook, sending Rusev running again. Ryback follows and hammers away before beating the count at 13:47.
Rusev goes after him again but gets dispatched one more time.
Brie Bella vs. Naomi
Paige and Natalya are on commentary. Thankfully the BRIE MODE is gone. The Bellas mock Natalya for loving cats and call Paige a vampire. Paige corrects them by saying she's a glampire and a black heart. Naomi kicks at Brie's leg as Paige and Natalya debate if they're friends or not. Paige calls Tyson Kidd an idiot as Naomi gets her throat snapped across the top rope for two. Brie misses her running knee but hits a jawbreaker on the knee, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 2:20. So much for Naomi meaning anything.
Luke Harper says you can send anyone into the Royal Rumble, but don't send in anyone you want back. Rowan better not blink or the monsters will get him. Are you scared yet?
Goldust and Stardust draw their numbers and hiss at each other.
Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper
Only Rowan can qualify. They slug it out to start and Rowan runs him over with a shoulder for an early two. Harper busts out a freaking hurricanrana to counter a powerbomb. This guy is not normal. Rowan just throws him into the corner and gets two more off a spin kick. Luke bites the fingers to block I think a full nelson but this time Rowan's powerbomb connects for two. Erick misses a top rope splash though and a superkick and discus lariat gives Harper the pin at 3:20.
Kane borrows the Stooges for his match with Bryan.
Rumble by the numbers video.
Miz is annoyed at Mizdow for imitating X-Pac without his permission. Mizdow says the fans liked it but Miz says no one cheers for him because they're all cheering for Miz. Miz also rejects the pumpkin latte for having the wrong amount of foam. He leaves and the Usos come up and tell Mizdow that he can get his hands on Miz in the Rumble. The idea intrigues Mizdow but he still looks conflicted.
Kane vs. Daniel Bryan
No DQ with Bryan's Rumble spot on the line and the Stooges in Kane's corner. A cross body gets one on Kane but Bryan has to go after the Stooges, allowing Kane to kick him down to the floor. He stays on the neck with a neckbreaker on the floor before dropping him onto the barricade. It's kendo stick time with Bryan getting cracked over the back a few times before they head back inside.
Daniel gets the cane to cane Kane before alternating between kicks and cane shots to the back. A big kick to the head is only good for two and Kane knocks him out of the air as we go to a break. Back with Kane holding a chinlock (what else would he be doing?) and cracking Bryan in the back with a chair for two. The chair gets wedged into the corner but Kane low bridges him to the floor. The Flying Goat is countered with an uppercut and Kane takes over on the floor. Bryan gets whipped into the steps and the Stooges load up the announcers' table. They're already more useful than Patterson and Brisco.
The tomestone and chokeslam are both countered and Kane gets sent into the post to give Daniel a breather. Back in and a bad looking YES Lock has Kane in trouble but the Stooges come in to break it up. Lawler and Cole are incensed but Saxton correctly point out that they're not breaking any rules. Bryan fights them off but eats a chokeslam for two. Kane is livid and gets another chair, only to be sent into the one he wedged in the corner, setting up the running knee to send Bryan to the Rumble at 12:18.
Speaking of Big Show, he drags Bryan back to the ring but Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback come in for the save. The big Rumble brawl is on until Ambrose and Reigns come out to make it serious. Roman cleans house, even though most of the guys were already gone by the time he got in. It gets down to all of the big heroes in the ring (minus Rowan. They're not even hiding it now) and Kane and Big Show on the apron to end the show.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett Zig Zag
Ryback b. Rusev via countout
Brie Bella b. Naomi Bella Buster
Luke Harper b. Erick Rowan Discus lariat
Daniel Bryan b. Kane Running knee
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 19, 2015
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is a special episode as it's not only the go home show for the Royal Rumble but also the Raw Reunion with some big names being brought back in for an appearance. Those are almost always at least somewhat interesting, though there are other times where the legends are just there without doing anything special. Let's get to it.
We open with a tribute to Martin Luther King, which WWE airs in some form every year.
Opening sequence.
Here are Heyman and Lesnar to get things going. Brock cuts off Heyman's intro and says he's here to fight Seth Rollins. He gives Rollins ten seconds and the crowd is nice enough to count it down for him. Instead, here's HHH to address the champ. He understands that Brock is upset about getting Curb Stomped into the ground. However, wouldn't Brock have done that if he had the chance?
After all, he suplexed Rollins first, so maybe Seth's actions are understandable. Maybe we should just go to the back and get Brock a steak while he and Heyman talk about things. Brock isn't pleased and asks if HHH is here to fix this or fight. Heyman loses his mind but here are Stephanie with Big Show and Kane to intervene. Lesnar and the Authority have a standoff but Rollins pops up on screen (prompting Heyman to grab his own head and shout OH NO).
He'll be getting his shot at Lesnar soon enough, right before he takes Brock's title. Heyman says let the adults talk about things and wants the Authority to put a leash on their puppy. If they don't fix things, the roster is going to be destroyed and Lesnar is walking out Sunday with the champion. Cue Cena (now in a blue shirt and hat) to say that they're going to beat each other up on Sunday. However, he's here to talk to the Authority.
They offered him a spot on the team a few months back but he politely declined. Every week, the Authority tries to make him quit, but he wants them to keep it up. Every single thing they say and do lights a new fire him that he's taking to the Rumble this Sunday to get the title back. The Authority used their power and politics to get three people fired, so he's going to enjoy sticking it to them this Sunday.
Stephanie cuts off his exit and says Cena reached a turning point when he brought back the Authority. Now he's a loser and a liar and no one wants to cheer that. Rollins says Cena will fail again on Sunday because Cena's time is up. He should just duck out of the match on Sunday and walk off with whatever dignity he has left.
Cena of course mocks Rollins for saying tuck his legs between his legs before saying everyone will respect him after Sunday. Cena offers to sweeten the pot: if he wins the title Sunday, Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler get their jobs back. HHH seems intrigued but wants one more stipulation: Cena has to have a match tonight and if he wins, all three of them get their jobs back. If he loses though, they stay fired and he's out of the triple threat. We're still not done though because HHH wants to make it an App poll.
How to download the App.
This opening segment was ridiculous. First of all, you bring out Stephanie as the mediator? Of course, because Stephanie is the greatest thing in the history of ever and her mere presence can soothe the savage beast. Then you have even more of Cena vs. the Authority because it worked with Austin vs. McMahon and......well it worked well enough with Austin vs. McMahon to mention it twice.
The stipulations are stupid and make sure you know Lesnar isn't walking out, but it does leave the door open for a Rollins cash-in after the match. Thankfully they've changed it up so those guys can get their jobs back tonight, thereby making the last two weeks totally pointless. I'm so glad we saw the Authority make those three people mildly annoyed and inconvenienced instead of destroying their lives.
Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt
Cole says it's been nearly a year since Bryan wrestled on Raw. More like eight and a half months but close enough. Cole never has been very good at counting. Bryan starts fast by knocking Bray to the floor and hitting a huge dive....and here's Kane, leading to a break less than two minutes into the match. Stephanie wants to talk? All the time in the world. Rematch of a Match of the Year candidate? Two minutes and we NEED a break.
Back with Bray missing a charge into the middle buckle but still being able to knock Bryan off the top rope. Bray puts on a nerve hold before hitting his flying body block to put Daniel down again. The announcers start speculating about Bryan's potential Rumble spot and him not having the cardio to get through the whole match as Bray drops knees and goes to a chinlock. Back up and Bray hits a HARD clothesline, sending Daniel out to the floor, holding his neck.
We return from another break with Bray getting two off a backsplash. Bryan scores with a running clot, followed by the running dropkick in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gets two and it's time to unleash the kicks. Wyatt gets clotheslined to the floor and the Flying Goat takes him down again. Kane gets in a cheap shot on the way back in though, allowing Bray to send him into the buckle, followed by Sister Abigail for the pin at 16:13.
Kane chokeslams Bryan post match and hits some bad looking right hands.
HHH is on the phone when Scott Hall and Kevin Nash (in NWO shirts) come into his office. They mock him for wearing a suit and ask him to come out with them tonight. Shawn Michaels pops in and offers HHH a spot on the legends panel. HHH should drop the suit, bring back the three fired guys and make their lives miserable here. HHH: I don't tell you how to shoot defenseless animals.
Nash wonders where X-Pac is and here's Damien Mizdow in X-Pac attire. The real one comes in and they do the poses until Miz comes in to take Mizdow away. Nash: What kind of show are you running? You knew this was coming and it was fine. Mizdow's history with DX wasn't mentioned, even though it was the high point of his career back then.
We recap HHH putting the Cena match to a fan vote.
It's time for the Royal Rumble Legends Panel with guests Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels. The first question is should Cena put his title shot on the line to get the three jobs back. Only Flair says no and only Hogan's answer is more than one word long with definitely yes. Ric says winning the Rumble was still the greatest night of his career and defeating people like Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Roddy Piper and Randy Savage made it even better.
Shawn is asked about winning back to back Rumbles and the famous shot of his foot dangling above the ground. He talks about the Rumble being the future and the winner's future being Wrestlemania. Shawn says the two men next to him wouldn't be where they are now without the Rumble and there wouldn't be a Mr. Wrestlemania without the Royal Rumble. Hogan goes last and says he remembers the competition in the Rumble and dfeating super talent after super talent to win the matches. Thankfully he had Hulkamania in his corner to help him survive.
As for this year's picks, Shawn goes with Bray Wyatt and Hogan isn't pleased. Shawn gets annoyed and wants a rematch of Summerslam 2005. Hogan: You don't want any of that again do you? Shawn: Nah probably not. Hogan picks Daniel Bryan and Flair goes with Ambrose, but here's Big Show because where would we be without him. He says all three of them are jealous of him and brings up beating Hogan at Halloween Havoc 1995. Then he beat Flair for the World Title on Nitro a few months later. Then he showed up in the WWF and Shawn retired (not quite) because he knew Big Show would eat him alive.
Now the three of them are washed up has beens out here begging for a bit of attention. He's going to win on Sunday and no one in the back can stop him. The fans are already looking up for Reigns. Show threatens to bea tthem all up so Flair takes his jacket off and starts throwing punches, only to take the KO Punch. Cue Reigns to check on the legends and clothesline Big Show out to the floor. Show comes up favoring his arm and bails.
The votes are in and Cena is going to put his title shot on the line to save the jobs by a vote of 85% to 15%. Cena says the most important part of the WWE is the WWE Universe and tonight he's fighting for his friends.
Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title. Dean takes him to the mat to start before running Barrett over with an elbow and clothesline. A power drive elbow gets two but Barrett comes back with a kick to the throat and another to the jaw. Ambrose comes back by knocking Barrett to the floor as we take a break. Of note here, the bottom line said that the series finale of Rivalries is airing tomorrow night on the Network. There have been six episodes and they're already canceling it? It's a good idea for a show and they can only come up with six shows, but they can have twenty Monday Night Wars shows? Really?
Back with Dean laid across the top rope and getting forearmed in the back for two. It's already off to the chinlock until Dean fights up with a bulldog out of the corner. The standing elbow drop gets two but the knee gives out, meaning Dean can't hit the running dropkick. He can however hit the rebounding clothesline and goes up top, only to get caught in the Wasteland. Dean fights out of that and Dirty Deeds pins Barrett at 8:16.
It's time for Rumble by the numbers.
30 men
782 entrants eliminated
2 feet must hit the floor
39 eliminations for Shawn Michaels, the all time record
38 eliminations for Kane, second place
15 years that Kane has eliminated someone
11 eliminations in 2001 to give Kane the record for a single matching
12 eliminations in 2014 for Roman Reigns to break the record
216,577 or 108 tons in the Rumble over the years
9 won in Rumble debut
43 Hall of Famers have competed
26 nations have been represented
1 time the Rumble has broadcasted on the Network
170 countries have the Network
170,822 people in attendance
3 Steve Austin victories
1 second that Santino Marella lasted to set the record
62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted to set the record
3:51:32 that HHH has spent in the Rumble, the longest all time
2 winners from both #1 and #30
Here's the New Day to say they're always positive to keep the rage under control. They're here to make sure everyone has a smile on their face and they're doing it for the day. Woods is out with an ankle injury so it's just a tag here.
Kofi Kingston/Big E. vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd
Rose is on the floor as well because he feels forgotten by WWE, just like Kidd and Cesaro. Big E. throws Kidd into the air for a dropkick from Kofi, but Rose offers a distraction so Cesaro can sneak in an uppercut. A suplex/side slam combo (called a Blockbuster by Booker) gets two on Kofi and the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick gets the same with Big E. having to make a save. Cesaro picks Kofi up to drive him into the corner but Kofi kicks off of Kidd and rolls up Cesaro for the pin out of nowhere at 2:59. It's nice to see them change the formula up for once instead of the same thing over and over. It keeps it a bit exciting.
Here's the NWO (Hall, Nash and Waltman) for a chat. The fact that Hall is allowed on live TV is proof that DDP should be canonized. Nash says the NWO created the Monday Night Wars, which you can relive on the WWE Network. You're welcome Hunter. They're responsible for Austin, DX and the Attitude Era. Nash acknowledges they have egos, but you have to admit they created every single good thing ever. Waltman gets the mic but here's Ascension to interrupt.
They see the NWO as three dogs ready to be put out of their misery, because Ascension was born and bred to rip and shred. No team from the past, present or future is better than they are, especially not one from WCW. The NWO is ready to fight but JBL won't have any of this. He takes off the jacket and tie and says wearing spikes doesn't make you a legend any more than painting yourself green makes you a frog. He was afraid this would happen, so he made a phone call. JBL takes off his shirt to reveal an APA shirt and here's Ron Simmons.
Before anything happens though, here are the New Age Outlaws in Dallas Cowboys jerseys to interrupt. Dogg says an old school party doesn't stop and the brawl is on with only the Outlaws getting physical. Billy hits a nice tilt-a-whirl slam and JBL starts stretching his arm. The Clothesline knocks Viktor silly and Waltman pulls off the NWO shirt to reveal the DX colors. This was every bit as fun as I thought it was going to be and was one of the better old school reunion segments. Also, anyone for JBL in the Hall of Fame?
The Authority announces Cena's opponent for later tonight. Complete with a drum roll, it's Cena vs. Seth Rollins, Big Show and Kane. A bugler comes up to play Taps.
Paige/Natalya vs. Summer Rae/Alicia Fox
The Bellas are on commentary and will be facing Paige/Natalya at the Rumble. A double suplex gets two on Summer but Natalya goes after Alicia, allowing Rae to spin kick her for two. Natalya gets over for the hot tag to Paige and things speed up with Alicia eating a superkick for two. Everything breaks down and another superkick sets up the PTO for the submission at 2:55. I'm glad they're not doing the Nikki vs. Natalya title match as we've seen it so many times already that whatever appeal it had is long gone.
The Kickoff match this Sunday is New Day vs. Cesaro/Kidd/Rose in an elimination tag.
Rusev vs. R-Truth
Only Truth gets an entrance and he's a step off on his rap. Truth says everyone is coming for Rusev on Sunday and that's the whole truth. Whomp there it is. Truth quickly knocks him over the top but eats the jumping superkick. The Accolade makes him tap at 46 seconds.
Rollins and Lesnar meet up in the back and Brock suggests that Seth take Cena out tonight. Then Brock can take Rollins out on Sunday. Unlike last week, Rollins looks shaken.
Jey Uso vs. Miz
Gah do something else already. Miz spends too much time looking at Mizdow and gets rolled up for two. Some choking sets up the Reality Check for two and we hit the chinlock. The top rope ax handle drops Jey but he avoids a charge, sending Miz into the post. A superkick and the Superfly Splash are good for the pin on Miz at 2:56. I can't imagine Miz and Mizdow are still together this time next week.
Hogan says it can only get better for Cena from here.
The New Age Outlaws vs. the Ascension has been added to Sunday.
John Cena vs. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins
One fall to a finish and it's Cena vs. Big Show to start but John wants to go after Rollins. Show scores with a big chop and it's off to Rollins to hammer Cena down. Rollins gets in some stomps in the corner but Cena's bulldog sends him rolling out to the floor. Kane gets the top and sends Cena into Big Show's boot before the bigger giant comes in for a corner splash. Cena's slam attempt fails (of course it did this early on) and we take a break.
Back with Rollins putting Cena in a sleeper before a Blockbuster gets two. Rollins misses the top rope knee though and Cena scores with the shoulders. The ProtoBomb puts Rollins down again but the Stooges break up the AA attempt. Rollins blasts him with a low superkick for two but the AA connects, only to have Kane pulls Cena outside. Big Show adds a spear and the Authority is literally standing over Cena gloating. He dives in at nine though and gets chokeslammed for two. Rollins loads up the Curb Stomp.....and STING shows up on the screen. He walks into the arena and Cena rolls up Rollins for the pin at 13:08.
Cena goes into the crowd and HHH shouts that Sting doesn't belong here. Cue Lesnar for right hands to Rollins, an F5 to Kane and an AA (yes an AA) to Big Show. Heyman holds up the title as Rollins runs away to end the show. Lesnar looked like and was received like a superhero here.
Results
Bray Wyatt b. Daniel Bryan Sister Abigail
Dean Ambrose b. Bad News Barrett Dirty Deeds
New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd Rollup to Cesaro
Natalya/Paige b. Alicia Fox/Summer Rae PTO to Fox
Rusev b. R-Truth Accolade
Jey Uso b. Miz Superfly Splash
John Cena b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins Rollup to Rollins
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 21, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Jason Albert
Things are starting to pick up again in NXT with Kevin Owens making another appearance last week to lay out NXT Champion Sami Zayn after a successful title defense against Adrian Neville. These two are on a collision course and there's no way the match isn't going to be awesome. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens over the last few weeks. Neville promises revenge.
William Regal announces the next Takeover special for February 11. There will be a tournament for the #1 contendership starting tonight, as well as Charlotte defending against Sasha Banks. As usual, Regal keeps this quick as he was on screen less than a minute and announced a show, a tournament and a title match.
Opening sequence.
Sami Zayn vs. Tye Dillinger
Sami charges the ring and EXPLODES on Dillinger, knocking him to the floor before the bell rings. No match I'm assuming.
Zayn demands Owens get out here right now but he gets Regal instead. The champ says he isn't wrestling one more match unless it's against Owens so get him out here right now. Regal says he can't do that because Owens hasn't earned a title shot yet. Sami offers to make it non-title or whatever he has to do to get his hands on Owens. He won't explode out of respect for Regal, but he'll do whatever Regal asks him to get what he wants. Regal agrees and makes the showdown for Takeover.
Owens vs. Zayn at Takeover will be non-title.
Regal says Owens and Zayn will sign the contract next week.
#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Curtis Axel vs. Finn Balor
I love how foreboding Balor's music is. Fans: FINN'S GONNA KILL YOU! Axel elbows him in the face to start so Balor knocks him to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in and Axel clotheslines him in the back of the head for two and nails a great looking dropkick. The fans keep it simple by telling Axel that he sucks.
We hit the chinlock before a running knee to the head gets two more. It's amazing how much easier Axel matches are to sit through when he doesn't have all the big expectations behind him. Heyman seems to have caused him more problems than good. Balor fights back up with the Pele and Sling Blade, followed by the top rope double stomp for the pin to advance at 4:55.
Here are the full tournament brackets.
Finn Balor
Curtis Axel
Adrian Neville
Tyson Kidd
Hideo Itami
Tyler Breeze
Baron Corbin
Bull Dempsey
Sasha Banks says Charlotte has no one to protect her tonight and it's time to win the title. She doesn't care if Devin has any more questions.
Bull Dempsey swears revenge next week.
Women's Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
They grapple to the mat to start with Charlotte getting the better of it but having to nail Becky in the face. Back in and Charlotte hammers away but Becky comes in for the DQ at 2:15. Not much of a match due to time.
Bayley comes in for the save but eventually picks up the title. Charlotte isn't cool with that and eats a Belly to Bayley. It doesn't seem like a heel turn as Bayley almost looks like she regretted it. It worked for Rick Steiner back in 1989 (albeit in a face turn) so why not here? Regal comes out and makes a fourway title match for Takeover.
Kevin Owens doesn't want to be interviewed and will say whatever he has to say to Sami's face next week.
Vaudevillains vs. Buddy Murphy/Wesley Blake
The Vaudevillains have been doing dinosaur training to make up for their recent losses, which apparently involves the Iron Sheik's Persian clubs. English misses a forearm to Murphy in the corner to start and eats a running forearm, only to take Buddy into the corner for a beating. Off to Gotch for a suplex for two and English hooks a chinlock. Murphy finally rolls over for the tag to Blake who gets a fast two off a powerslam with Gotch making the save. With the referee getting Gotch out of the ring, Murphy sneaks in a kick to the head, giving Blake the pin at 3:58.
Tyler Breeze is ready to implement his plan to separate the gorgeous ones from the uggos.
Murphy and Blake say that wasn't an upset and want a title shot next week.
#1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze
Marcus Louis is seen looking at Breeze from behind the stage during Tyler's entrance. Breeze avoids a big kick to start and wags a finger at Itami. Another kick misses and the fans call Breeze a TOTAL DIVA. Breeze suckers Itami in for a kick of his own before running into a knee to the ribs. Back up and Itami gets sent face first into the middle buckle and tossed out to the floor. A dropkick (noticing a theme here?) gets two for Breeze and a neckbreaker gets an even closer near fall as we take a break.
Back with Breeze holding a chinlock but Itami fights up with clotheslines and a tornado DDT necksnap. There's the top rope clothesline followed by a release fisherman's suplex for two on Breeze. Back up and Breeze blocks an O'Connor Roll and DRILLS Hideo with the Supermodel Kick for two.
Itami is shaken up in the corner so Breeze crawls onto his back for a kind of snap crucifix for a fall so near that the referee looked like he had to slow down for the kickout. Tyler shouts that this is about him but Itami screams at him. More kicks have Breeze rocked and the running dropkick in the corner sets up a running boot to the face for the pin at 14:24.
Results
Finn Balor b. Curtis Axel Top rope double stomp
Charlotte b. Sasha Banks via DQ when Becky Lynch interfered
Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy b. Vaudevillains Kick to the head
Hideo Itami b. Tyler Breeze Running kick to the face
Thursday
Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Much like last week, this actually feels like a big show. The main event for tonight is again Bryan vs. Kane, now in a No DQ match with Bryan's Rumble spot on the line. The show had a significantly bigger audience last week compared to the normal audiences on Fridays, so maybe we're in for more big time shows. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of Raw with Sting helping Cena win the 3-1 handicap match to save Cena's spot in the Sunday's title match but more importantly getting Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback's jobs back.
Opening sequence.
Here's Daniel Bryan to get things going. He's excited to get on the Road to Wrestlemania and would love to talk about his No DQ match tonight and how he won't let anything stop him from winning the Royal Rumble. He could talk about how obsessed he is with getting the WWE World Heavyweight Championship back. Or he could talk about Sting's first ever appearance on Raw and how it ruined the Authority's night.
However, there's something more important than that, and it's what John Cena accomplished on Raw. There are three people with something to say about it, so here are Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler for their big returns. Well as big as they can be after just getting a few weeks off. It's really hard to care about them being fired when they're back in just a few weeks.
The fans chant FEED ME MORE at Ryback before he compares his firing to Bryan's injury. The Big Guy is back but doesn't have much more to say other than catchphrases. Rowan says being gone was sort of a blessing because he had a lot of time to sit back and think. Believe it or not, he used to be a different person. He was naive and someone's puppet, but these last few weeks have let them (as in he and the sheep mask) know who he really is.
That leaves us with Ziggler, who of course gets the biggest reaction of the three. Ziggler set around eating stuffed crust pizza and watched the HHH and Stephanie fitness DVDs. He's joking of course and brings up all the momentum he had before getting fired (because WWE loves to build people up and then take them off TV). But the Authority tried to take it away because they're a threat. He would rather stay here and take a beating like never before than going home sitting on his couch and complaining on a podcast (it had been too long since the last Punk cheap shot).
Cue the Authority minus the actual authority with Rollins saying this is a Survivor Series reunion with a garden gnome replacing Bryan. Ziggler wants to beat Rollins up right now but Rollins has more important things to do than deal with someone who sits on a couch eating stuffed crust pizza. Oh and the fitness DVDs are AWESOME! Ziggler says Rollins must enjoy them because he's never seen anyone run away from Lesnar that fast.
Kane tells Bryan to calm down because he still has to survive tonight to get into the Rumble. Bryan responds by showing a clip of Lesnar destroying Kane and Big Show to close Raw. That's not cool with Big Show who promises to win the Rumble on Sunday because the four people in the ring are all losers. Kane promises to go to depraved levels to destroy Bryan but turns his attention to Ziggler. Since he's a new employee, Ziggler has to start back at the bottom of the ladder and work his way back to the Intercontinental Title. However, Kane is willing to give Ziggler a match against Barrett right now.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title and only Ziggler can qualify with a win. Barrett easily takes him down to start but gets caught in a headlock. A nice dropkick gets two for Dolph but a headscissors is countered with a kick to the ribs. They head outside where Barrett sends him into the apron before cranking on the arm back inside. This is the kind of stuff I'd like to see more of: someone grabbing a body part and cranking on it for the middle part of the match.
A top wristlock has Ziggler in trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner. The running DDT gets two for Dolph and we take a break. Back with Barrett going back to the arm but Ziggler rolls through to send Barrett shoulder first into the post. Dolph nails a big superkick for two more and both guys are down. Back up and the champ kicks him in the ribs but the Bull Hammer is blocked, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:54.
We recap Ascension getting beaten down by the legends on Raw.
Reigns looks at the footage of Big Show going after the legends from Raw and knocking out Flair until Reigns made the save. Roman doesn't know if Renee Young has heard, but Big Show is a giant. If you haven't heard, just listen because it's all he ever talks about. Andre never had to do that because his actions did the talking.
Show also always talks about Reigns wanting his spot, but Reigns wants his own spot. In the Rumble, everyone is all over the place and his fist is cocked, locked and ready to rock. He's the one vs. all and he's the one standing at the end. Believe that. This was FAR better than his usual stuff and felt much more natural.
Fandango draws his Rumble number and seems very pleased. As he dances with Rosa, Ambrose sneaks in and steals his number. The referee monitoring the drawing has no issue with this.
Ryback vs. Rusev
Non-title again and only Ryback can qualify. Ryback hits a hard shoulder but Rusev frantically rolls outside before the cover. Back in and Ryback hits a nice suplex, sending Rusev's legs into the ropes in the process. The champ bails to the floor again but is able to dropkick a charging Ryback to take over. We take a break and come back with Rusev getting two off a DDT.
Rusev wraps the leg around the post, hoping Ryback actually sells it unlike he did in the Big Show match a few weeks back. Ryback takes advantage of Rusev's trash talking and hits a slingshot belly to back suplex and a powerslam for two. A Backpack Stunner gets two more and Ryback stops to hold his knee (to be fair Rusev didn't do much to the knee so it's not as annoying this time).
Ryback's powerbomb is countered into an Alabama Slam (Siberia Slam?) for two but he just runs Rusev over. For some reason Ryback goes up top, only to be quickly crotched down for two. Rusev tells himself to crush but Ryback fights out of the Accolade and loads up the Meathook, sending Rusev running again. Ryback follows and hammers away before beating the count at 13:47.
Rusev goes after him again but gets dispatched one more time.
Brie Bella vs. Naomi
Paige and Natalya are on commentary. Thankfully the BRIE MODE is gone. The Bellas mock Natalya for loving cats and call Paige a vampire. Paige corrects them by saying she's a glampire and a black heart. Naomi kicks at Brie's leg as Paige and Natalya debate if they're friends or not. Paige calls Tyson Kidd an idiot as Naomi gets her throat snapped across the top rope for two. Brie misses her running knee but hits a jawbreaker on the knee, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 2:20. So much for Naomi meaning anything.
Luke Harper says you can send anyone into the Royal Rumble, but don't send in anyone you want back. Rowan better not blink or the monsters will get him. Are you scared yet?
Goldust and Stardust draw their numbers and hiss at each other.
Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper
Only Rowan can qualify. They slug it out to start and Rowan runs him over with a shoulder for an early two. Harper busts out a freaking hurricanrana to counter a powerbomb. This guy is not normal. Rowan just throws him into the corner and gets two more off a spin kick. Luke bites the fingers to block I think a full nelson but this time Rowan's powerbomb connects for two. Erick misses a top rope splash though and a superkick and discus lariat gives Harper the pin at 3:20.
Kane borrows the Stooges for his match with Bryan.
Rumble by the numbers video.
Miz is annoyed at Mizdow for imitating X-Pac without his permission. Mizdow says the fans liked it but Miz says no one cheers for him because they're all cheering for Miz. Miz also rejects the pumpkin latte for having the wrong amount of foam. He leaves and the Usos come up and tell Mizdow that he can get his hands on Miz in the Rumble. The idea intrigues Mizdow but he still looks conflicted.
Kane vs. Daniel Bryan
No DQ with Bryan's Rumble spot on the line and the Stooges in Kane's corner. A cross body gets one on Kane but Bryan has to go after the Stooges, allowing Kane to kick him down to the floor. He stays on the neck with a neckbreaker on the floor before dropping him onto the barricade. It's kendo stick time with Bryan getting cracked over the back a few times before they head back inside.
Daniel gets the cane to cane Kane before alternating between kicks and cane shots to the back. A big kick to the head is only good for two and Kane knocks him out of the air as we go to a break. Back with Kane holding a chinlock (what else would he be doing?) and cracking Bryan in the back with a chair for two. The chair gets wedged into the corner but Kane low bridges him to the floor. The Flying Goat is countered with an uppercut and Kane takes over on the floor. Bryan gets whipped into the steps and the Stooges load up the announcers' table. They're already more useful than Patterson and Brisco.
The tomestone and chokeslam are both countered and Kane gets sent into the post to give Daniel a breather. Back in and a bad looking YES Lock has Kane in trouble but the Stooges come in to break it up. Lawler and Cole are incensed but Saxton correctly point out that they're not breaking any rules. Bryan fights them off but eats a chokeslam for two. Kane is livid and gets another chair, only to be sent into the one he wedged in the corner, setting up the running knee to send Bryan to the Rumble at 12:18.
Speaking of Big Show, he drags Bryan back to the ring but Ziggler, Rowan and Ryback come in for the save. The big Rumble brawl is on until Ambrose and Reigns come out to make it serious. Roman cleans house, even though most of the guys were already gone by the time he got in. It gets down to all of the big heroes in the ring (minus Rowan. They're not even hiding it now) and Kane and Big Show on the apron to end the show.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett Zig Zag
Ryback b. Rusev via countout
Brie Bella b. Naomi Bella Buster
Luke Harper b. Erick Rowan Discus lariat
Daniel Bryan b. Kane Running knee