Watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

[CH David]

Holy shit I haven't watched this movie in like three years and I can still quote it like I watched it yesterday.

 

[CH David]

If the buzz is any indicator this movie is going to make some huge bank.

What buzz?

The internet buzz.

What the fuck is the internet?

 

[CobraVenom]

I have a feeling Matt Damon shows off his lemon face quite a bit.

 

[CH David]

Holy shit! Look at his lipstick he's got a stoner boner.

 

[Little Jerry Lawler]

I'm not even supposed to be here today.

 

[CH David]

Justice huh? That's a nice name. Jay and Justice sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G

 

[CH David]

Dear lord, Eliza Dushku is so fuckin' fine.

 

[CH David]

So you like animals, huh?

Sure.

Even snakes?

You can't exclude an animal just because their not cuddily. Of course I like snakes.

How about trouser snakes?

Ooooh what's a trouser snake?

 

[CH David]

Fuck you fatty.

 

[Buffalo Dave]

Who's stupid now, Dirty sheep fucker!!

 

[CH David]

Judd Nelson is great.

Are you fuckin' crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son, that's the ape.

I think I'd recognize an ape if I saw one. And the only thing I do recognize right now is a political fiasco here that I'm about to avoid by letting this butt fucking Brady Bunch go!!

 

[Uncle Sam]

I like Kevin Smith. Haven't seen any of his movies, mind you.

 

[CH David]

I'm actually surprised you haven't seen any, Sam. Probably shouldn't be, but I am.

 

[CH David]

THE SIGN ON THE BACK OF THE CAR SAID CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD!!!! YOU DUMB FUCK!!!!

Say it, don't spray it.

 

[CH David]

Ahh Matt Damon. Fantastic.

 

[CH David]

Holy shit I am wearing pansy red booties. Why the fuck didn't you tell me?!

 

[Uncle Sam]

The one with angels and shit. Help me remember it.

 

[CH David]

Dogma.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Thank you. Have an Al Snow "end your life" rep as a reward.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Oh, I can't. Shame that.

 

[CH David]

Why would you want me to end my life, Sam?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Because people aren't allowed to remember the titles of movies that I can't. Or just because I haven't been able to use it yet. Whichever.

 

[CH David]

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf mute. Well, I shan't kill myself. But I'll say this, Cody Rhodes is a dashing man. Beautiful.