klunderbunker
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Victory Road 2006
Date: July 16, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 600
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
This is the last of the Victory Road series and is almost a holy grail of TNA for me. I looked for months to find this and finally got a copy of it so here it is. This will be I think the first whole PPV series for TNA that Ive gotten through. Anyway this is from the earlier days of TNA so they dont have this down to a science yet. The main event is a fatal fourway for the #1 contender spot with the winner getting a shot next month at Hard Justice. Lets get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event scene which is the aforementioned fatal fourway. Jarrett won the title in a controversy at Slammiversary and the deal is Cornette, the guy that made the decision to give Jarrett the title, gets to pick the four guys in here tonight. Christian says hes still champion. The four guys are Sting, Steiner, Joe and Christian. Jarrett says hes champion and thats all that matters as he runs down all four guys. This goes on too long.
This is the old school Impact Zone with the tunnel and all that jazz.
Naturals vs. Diamonds in the Rough
The Diamonds in the Rough never could win a match if I remember. Theyre comprised of Elix Skipper and David Young, who had an epic losing streak back in the day. The name comes from their manager being Simon Diamond. The Naturals might be the least interesting team youve ever seen and are managed by Shane Douglas because Chris Candido was their manager and passed away so Douglas stepped in for Candidos honor.
Shane comes in to start and runs down Flair who has nothing to do with this but he does it anyway. Hes had the Naturals (Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas) in a boot camp or something like that. They have new haircuts (I think) and new outfits, having been franchised. Is this like having your ass franchised? Young vs. uh .oh does it matter? Shane doesnt stay with them here for reasons of tough I guess.
Both Naturals take Young down with a double shoulder. Andy has black hair. Got it. They tag in quickly and beat up Skipper for a bit. Young gets the same as this has been one sided in the first minute. Stevens misses an Asai Moonsault and Skipper gets two on him back in the ring. Off to Young as the Diamonds take over. The referee wears shorts which is freaky looking for some reason.
The Diamonds hit a combination Dominator/top rope double axe to Stevens. Douglas finally comes in and the double teaming begins on Skipper. We get what I think was miscommunication by the Diamonds and here comes Stevens. I think the Naturals are the faces but I have no idea for the most part. Spinning neckbreaker kind of move gets two on Skipper. Skipper tries to take over but gets caught in a combination Batista Bomb/Missile dropkick to end Skipper. Cool finisher.
Rating: C+. Just a tag match really that could have been on any TV show. Nothing was too bad in it and the Naturals looked pretty good. The crowd seemed into it and for an opener thats really all you can ask for. Fun little opener here but its not like this really accomplished anything.
Shane yells at them for not being good enough.
As always we run down the card. I dont get why we have to do that but its a TNA staple I guess.
Christian asks what happened to the old Christian but is back here. I think this led to a heel turn for him but Im not sure. Steiner has no heart apparently and can be right back in Jarretts shadows after he loses. Joe apparently says Joe is TNA and also says are you going to finish those fries. Joe says he wants to be the man but Christian is the man. Sting is a carton of milk. It smells fine but it expired, meaning its not what it looks like. Good promo here.
We recap Rhynos open challenge. He got a push because WWECW came around and Rhyno was offered a spot which he turned down and burned what was allegedly the ECW TV Title belt in a trash can. He then issued an open challenge to anyone from a 4, 6 or 8 sided ring. Monty Brown took him up on it so here we are.
Monty Brown vs. Rhyno
Brown wants to go on a win streak like Joe did which got Joe to the world title picture. Joe wouldnt get the title for almost two years because we NEEDED to have Sting get like three reigns and Angle (ok thats not fair) to get the title for like a year in between. Big brawl to start as were on the floor almost immediately. Brown drops him onto the railing and we go back to the ring.
Rhyno tries to fight back and gets run over by Brown. Brown of course would be in WWE by the end of the year. Pounce misses and down goes the referee in maybe two minutes. Rhyno sends him to the floor and DIVES OVER THE TOP to crush Brown in a cool looking move. The referee is kind of back up and Rhyno gets a belly to belly. Theres a Gore for the referee in the corner and hes more or less dead.
Out to the floor again and its a big brawl. They head up the aisle and I think I know where this is going. Both guys hammer away as the referee is like dead or something in the ring. Lots of punches from both guys but we head into the crowd. They go towards the door and the bell rings as I guess the angel of the referee calls it.
Rating: D+. Intense brawl, but can someone explain to me why these two were booked together if they were going to go with this ending? If both guys are getting pushes, wouldnt it be better for them to get wins? I dont get that at all as the whole point was the referee being down. Odd booking but a fun brawl.
Konnan says LAX is awesome and theyll get the tag titles. Oh and Cornette sucks and LAX will be taking over.
We recap LAXs push which is a political one if you can believe that. Its about immigration reform or something like that with Mexicans not being able to be legalized citizens. This gets a music video with it for no apparent reason. LAX staged a work stoppage and Cornette said Jiffy Lube was hiring. Ron Killings and Sonjay Dutt got in their faces about it, setting this up.
LAX vs. Sonjay Dutt/Ron Killings
LAX has their own announcer who speaks Spanish. Theres a section of the arena that has graffiti all over it. Dutt is a guy that is always around and no one ever really cared. Killings is more commonly known as R-Truth. Its weird to hear Whats Up as his theme music but he wrote it so its officially his song so its here in TNA also. His entrance takes forever here as we get into the rarely heard third verse.
LAX jumps them to start and Hernandez goes sailing over the top which wasnt his intentions. Homicide hits a big dive to take out Dutt but Truth takes out all of LAX in return. Truth vs. Homicide in the ring now. Truth wipes his ass with Homicides headband. Sunset flip gets two and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. Ive never been a fan of homicide but hes moving pretty well here.
Off to Dutt now who speeds things up a bit and gets two on Homicide. I think this is your X-Division tag match here. The guys both get dueling chants. Hernandez comes in and Dutt cant do a damn thing to him. Since Hernandez did well while he was in he tags out to Homicide who didnt do well while he was in there. We hit the chinlock on Dutt for a few seconds but Dutt speeds things up again which doesnt work that well.
Back off to Hernandez as this is some weird cousin of power vs. speed. Dutt tries to move again and gets caught in a backbreaker that Truth has to break up. Homicide sends him to the floor and Konnan hammers away a bit more. Sonjay speeds things up again (notice a pattern here?) and it lets him bring in Truth.
Truth takes over with his usual odd offense and throws in Konnans rolling clothesline. Gringo Cutter by Homicide gets two. Truth blocks a suplerplex and gets a Falcons Arrow from the middle rope for two. They go to the floor so Hernandez and Dutt go at it some more. Finally the speed works but Homicide cracks something with a chair and gets taken down by Truth. Sonjay goes up and Konnan hits him with a slapjack to allow a Border Toss to end this.
Rating: C. Just a tag match here as were 45 minutes into this show and nothing has stood out at all yet. LAX is getting a push here which I guess is fine. They would get the titles in a few months and hold them for all of a month, showing once again that brilliant TNA booking. These tag matches so far have been glorified squashes. Im not sure I get the point.
Steiner yells at JB about the main event.
Heres Team Canada. Oh wait theyre not Team Canada anymore as theyve been disbanded. Theyre comprised of Coach Scott DAmore, Eric Young, Bobby Roode, A-1 and Petey Williams. This is their last appearance together and the Coach isnt happy with it, blaming Cornette. The fans do the goodbye song while the Coach says this is the beginning of a movement or something which went nowhere.
Roode is a hot free agent apparently. This would result in appearances from random managers until he hooked up with Ms. Brooks. Petey is like a son to DAmore. The fans like Eric apparently. This is more or less them saying weve got nothing and were really hoping you dont pick up on that. A-1, the muscleman but not the enforcer mind you, cant wrestle according to the fans but will be fine according to DAmore.
Finally theres Young left, who has been cheered for the whole time. Apparently the disbanding of Team Canada is all Erics fault because of his paranoia and all that jazz. Young was the one that was terrified of being fired and was always threatened with it and it cost them I think. Coach makes him give up his team jacket and his Team Canada pants. Give me my pants back! Hes wearing different color socks.
DAmore threatens to have Eric fired and then leaves in a big fat huff. I said he left in one, not that he is one. Actually he is anyway so its pretty clear Im just filling in time at the moment. Anyway Eric addresses the fans, asking if they want him fired. They say no, so he asks again. The plan is set apparently and Dont Fire Eric is their secret mission. He goes into the crowd to celebrate with his new friends. This literally ate up 15 minutes.
Ad for Bound For Glory. I guess if you listed off all these people, you could say THEY would be there. Nah thatll never catch on. Its in Detroit this year.
Senshi (Kaval) says that nothing here has been unbelievable because hes awesome. Hes facing a mystery opponent that is a former X Champion. Hes the current champion if that makes more sense.
X-Division Title: Senshi vs. ???
The surprise opponent is Kazarian. He just comes out before his name is announced and is out first. Was there a point to him being a mystery at all? Whatever. Good sign: Chuck Norris Fears Senshi. Feeling out process to start us off here as you would expect. Senshi grabs an armbar over the ropes which gets him nowhere since its in the ropes. Kaz shoots a single leg and we hit the mat for a bit.
With Senshi holding a headscissors, Kaz literally bounces back and forth before grabbing a headlock. The champion kicks away with those hard shots of his. They chop it out with no one being able to get a long advantage. Kaz has short hair here which is a very weird look for him. Senshi gets some knees in and drapes him over the top for two. Muta elbow gets two and we hit a body scissors.
Dueling chants: This is boring vs. Shut the fuck up. Im with the former but not entirely. After some martial arts we go right back to the mat. Kaz gets up and gets something like a spinning clothesline to break the momentum. The fans are split here as Kaz gets a springboard back elbow for no cover. Slingshot dropkick in the corner has Senshi in trouble.
That only gets two though as the crowd wakes up for a few seconds and then dies just as fast. I mean literally it sounds like a radio show with West commentating at times. Sunset flip by Kaz is blocked by a double stomp by Senshi to shift momentum again. Rapid fire kicks to the head by Senshi as this is dominating again. Kaz gets a DDT out of nowhere for two. Running kick in the corner by Senshi though sets up the Warriors Way to end it.
Rating: D. Oh man this was dull and the crowd knew it. They would do some mat stuff, Senshi would throw some kicks, Kaz would try to get something going but then would get stuck right back on the mat. This was terribly weak and I still dont get the appeal of Senshis style. Its 90% kicks and it went nowhere at all.
Larry Zbyszko is ready to go for his hair vs. hair match with Raven. Slick Johnson is the referee tonight and isnt very trustworthy.
We recap this very long running feud which began with Raven being all whiny because he couldnt get a break while Larry was the boss. Then Larry cost Raven the title (kind of) and Larry put him through hell for like a year before Larry lost his authority and we get this out of it. It wasnt bad but it went on WAY too long and people stopped caring.
Raven vs. Larry Zbyszko
Raven is the face here if youre confused, as you likely are. He has a big old gut here and Larry seems to fall. Apparently Johnson tripped him. Well at least theyre not hiding it anymore. They lock up and go around the ring a bit as its clear this isnt going to go long. Larry gets a spin kick as the crowd is pretty much dead here. Larry throws on a spinning toe hold and works the leg a bit.
A chop gets two but Larry bitches about the speed of the count. Well at least hes actually wrestling and not stalling all day here as is his custom. Back to the toe hold because I guess those chops were too exciting for us. Raven Effect hits but Johnson was knocked down. A pair of small packages get us nowhere and then the Raven Effect #2 ends this.
Rating: F. What else were you expecting here? Boring match to end a boring angle (by the end of it) and the ending was known for weeks. Yeah Ive got nothing here. This was boring. Thats it.
Larry tries to escape post match but cant and theres the haircut after Raven tapes him to the chair. After Larry screams about firing everyone we FINALLY go to the back for something different. Another five minutes or so wasted here.
The Paparazzi (Shelley, Devine and Nash) continue their hilarious anti-X-Division stuff. I have no idea what the point of this was but it became Nash claiming to be the X-Division god or something like that and it was a total parody that cracked me up. Still have no clue what it was though.
We recap said feud which was Nash saying that with AJ and Daniels and Joe doing other stuff, hes going after the X Title and taking Devine and Shelley under his wing. He went after the X guys and beat the hell out of all of them.
Kevin Nash/Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin/Jay Lethal
See what I mean here? This was hilarious stuff and it worked the whole time. Shelley (with blonde highlights) vs. Sabin to start us off. This is pre-Guns by about a year. They go to a stalemate and its off to Nash now who draws a face chant. Nash vs. Lethal now with Nash holding his hand above his head and managing to kick it in a shocking lack of a muscle tear.
Lethal speeds things up and tries a springboard spinning cross body which lands at Nashs feet as he misjudged it. Sabin and Lethal double team Shelley a bit with some Guns style offense. The heels hit the floor for a breather as we stop the momentum again. Thats a running theme/problem tonight. Lethal vs. Shelley now with Alex cheating to take over like a good little heel.
Devine crotches Lethal and Shelley adds a crotch claw for reasons of .uh ..someone else want to take this one? Off to Nash now who fires in some knees. Lethal is 20 years old here. Thats almost scary. Sabin comes in and takes out Nashs knees to take over completely. Using Nash as a springboard we get a hesitation dropkick to Shelley who is in the Tree of Woe. The faces hit a bunch of stuff in rapid succession to Shelley. Devine messes up but Sabin cant hit the Cradle Shock. A second attempt fails but Sabin gets a fast rollup with a half bridge to win it. We get to hear HAIL SABIN again so Im happy.
Rating: C+. This was ok but thats about it. Nash was barely in it and the match kind of came and went. I guess this is the blowoff? I seem to remember Sabin beating Nash clean but Im not sure. Not much of a match but Gun vs. Gun is always worth a look. Needed more Nash though. Wow did I really just say that?
The heels go for a post match beatdown but Jerry Lynn, the TNA agent, runs out with a chair for the save.
Team 3D is in the back and Bubba says violence about 15 times and says thats what tonight is all about. This Team 3D also has Runt, aka Spike. Theyve got the James Gang, aka the New Age Outlaws and Abyss tonight. D-Von says nothing of note and Runt doesnt talk.
We recap the feud which involved the Outlaws doing an imitation of the Dudleys. The Dudleys believed the third opponent would be Bob Armstrong who was like 70. Instead they got Abyss for no apparent reason. This gets the music video treatment here for no apparent reason.
James Gang/Abyss vs. Team 3D
This is anything goes since its an Abyss match. Mitchell is with Abyss here. Bubba brings a chair out with him. For no apparent reason he drops it as this is one of those stupid ANYTHING GOES matches where they start with tagging. D-Von and BG James (Road Dogg) start us off. Abyss comes in and Runt wants a piece of him. There he is as its perfectly fine apparently. Bubba is thankfully wearing a t-shirt here.
Cross body by Runt literally bounces off Abyss. Chokeslam doesnt work so Abyss grabs him with a gorilla press slam. Off to Bubba now who stomps on the mat a lot. They slug it out with Bubba winning and attempting the Flip Flop and Fly, throwing in Road Doggs dance. When he stops though here comes Abyss, launching Runt over the top and into the crowd.
They break out the weapons now and the James Gang takes over. They stop for a random beer but Team 3D drills them low to take over. Abyss beats the hell out of Runt while Bubba and D-Von drink the beers. They fight out to the floor with neither really in control. Abyss misses a charge into the stage and Runt gets a chair to throw at him. Double stomp keeps Abyss down as the other four fight some more.
Runt finds a golf club from out of nowhere to choke Abyss with. Bubba puts staples into Abyss head and finds a sign that says ECW fears TNA. No, not really. That gets stapled to Abyss head in a sick spot. Fameasser to Bubba as the James Gang takes over. And never mind as Abyss takes Whats Up. Its table time but the James Gang stops it just in time.
The fans want fire. What sick fucking people! Double neckbreaker which is called 3D II to Kip James (seriously Kip James? That was the best they could do?) but heres Abyss to beat a lot of people up. Kip breaks up a 3D through the table and Abyss is able to hit Runt with a Black Hole Slam onto (not through at first) the table to end it.
Rating: C+. Another brawl here that isnt really different than any other brawl. These hardcore style matches are fine but it takes talented people to have good matches, which to be fair usually holds true for every match in existence. This wasnt great or anything but it was certainly fine I guess.
AMW says theyre awesome and theyll get the belts tonight in their last chance. Storm says not to worry about the girl in the match.
We recap Daniels/Styles vs. AMW. The idea here is that Gail Kim kept interfering and costing Styles/Daniels the belts. They went out and got some Chyna wannabe named Sirelda and its a six person tag with the belts on the line.
Tag Titles: AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels/Sirelda vs. Americas Most Wanted/Gail Kim
The champions come out to something sounding like The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. AJ vs. Storm to start. AMW is Chris Harris and James Storm if youre not familiar. Storm avoids an arm drag but gets caught in a rana. Theres an implied history between Gail and Sirelda which was never gone into. Storm grabs his hat and brings in Harris. AJ beats both of them up and kicks the hat off of Storm, throwing it into the audience.
Kim and Daniels come in and Kim slaps Sirelda. Off to the monster now and Kim runs to bring in Storm. He gets slapped so its off to Harris vs. Sirelda. Gail tries to interfere and gets launched. Everything breaks down and the champions and their chick clean house. They throw AMW/Gail into the corner and we wind up getting a threesome scene with Gails face between Harris balls and Storm behind her. Use your imagination.
Storm vs. Daniels now with Daniels in control. Styles vs. Kim now and Gail gets spanked. She hits AJ low and AMW takes over. AJ isnt in trouble long but is caught in a spinebuster by Harris to put him right back down. Gail comes in to get some shots and adds in an Octopus Hold of all things. Off to Storm (they look A LOT alike here) who gets an Orton DDT for two.
The fans get behind AJ and he hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT to break up the heel momentum and bring in Daniels to no pop. Wow that was a long sentence. Death Valley Driver gets two. Everything breaks down and the girls do a REALLY bad sequence. AJ hits the big springboard forearm (love that move!) and Daniels grabs a Koji Clutch out of nowhere on Storm. After its broken up Gail and Storm hits a Death Sentence on Daniels.
Weve more or less abandoned the whole tagging thing here. Handcuffs are brought in which mean nothing at all. Angels Wings (sitout Pedigree) for two on Storm. Sirelda chokeslams Gail for two as Storm hits the Eye of the Storm on AJ for two as well. Harris avoids accidently being hit by the beer bottle which is part of the problems AMW had been having. Harris accidently drills Storm with a chair and a horrible sunset flip ends it with Storms shoulder about two inches off the mat.
Rating: C-. Totally average match here which went nowhere at all. The girls were totally worthless here for the most part but Gail wasnt horrible. Sirelda .not so much. This was a boring match for the most part with the titles never being in jeopardy at all. At least were closer to being over on this totally not interesting show.
We recap the main event. No one likes anyone and they all want to fight Jarrett. Seriously thats all there is here. More or less its totally obvious itll be Sting or Joe. Joe was insanely popular but TNA decided Sting was more deserving somehow despite no one really wanting to see Sting vs. Jarrett.
Joe says hes going to kill someone and that hes not going to be stopped.
Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. Scott Steiner vs. Sting
Steiner is Jarretts hired gun. Everyone gets the long walk to the ring from the back to waste even more time. Joe is undefeated here which would last until that bald Olympic dude got here. Cage has never been pinned or tapped in TNA either. I did like Christians entrance in TNA. That was always cool. Sting thinks Jarrett is a cancer because cancer is a word that its perfectly fine to throw around in wrestling.
The fans are completely behind Joe so Tenay says its Stings crowd. I think thats what he said at least as the JOES GONNA KILL YOU chant is drowning it out. Steiner vs. Christian and Sting vs. Joe to start. Sting vs. Joe in the ring with Joes knee being Stings target. Scorpion goes on quickly but Steiner breaks it up. Belly to belly puts Sting on the floor. Something tells me were going to be going into the formula here quickly.
Joe vs. Christian in the ring which was a big rivalry for awhile. Sting and Steiner fight up around the entrance which we really dont need to watch as the match cant end there. See, why dont they use a split screen here where it would actually make sense? Facewash by Joe and Sting cracks Steiner with a chair a few times. The pairs switch places and Sting remains in control of Steiner.
Steiner tries a backslide of all things but a cameraman pops in and sprays Sting in the eyes with alleged gasoline to blind him. I love how in a huge open area like this you can smell gasoline like 20 feet away according to West. Sting is taken out as the fans chant TNA. Oh the cameraman was Jarrett in disguise. I knew I forgot to mention something. Jarrett is thrown out in the back.
Its a triple threat for all intents and purposes here as Christian gets two on Joe. Steiner is on the floor at the moment. Joe tries the Musclebuster which doesnt connect and the Unprettier doesnt either. Christian gets a facewash to Joe in a nice touch. He tries something else but Steiner pulls him to the floor. Joe dives through the ropes to take everyone down at once.
Joe busts out a table for no apparent reason at all. He tries to suplex Steiner onto it but Scott reverses into a DDT onto the apron. As per the laws of wrestling, Joe is put through it via an elbow drop from Steiner. Points to Steiner for trying something like that which most older guys wouldnt do ever. Christian vs. Steiner in the ring at the moment with Steiner catching him in a powerslam.
Steiner gets something like an Angle Slam off the middle rope and Joe pops in for a pair of twos. Frog Splash by Christian misses and here comes Joe. He beats Christian down in the corner and knocks him into Steiner. Christian rolls Scotty up for two in a bit of a contrived spot. By contrived I mean that looked fake as hell. Belly to belly by Steiner gets no cover but does set up the Recliner. Oh my that hold is pathetic looking.
Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch and Christian has to make the save. Christian and Joe go up and Steiner drills both of them. Heres Sting back with a bandage around his head of course. Frog Splash to Steiner by Christian gets two. Steiner dumps Joe and Christian so that the Death Drop and send Sting to Hard Justice.
Rating: C. Totally average main event here that is nothing to remember at all. The Sting injury seemed rather pointless as he was out there for a good while in the first place and then comes back later on so the injury wasnt that serious it would seem. Not much of a match at all but it wasnt that bad I guess.
Christian gets in Stings face but shakes his hand to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show is just not interesting. There is only one bad match but theres nothing good on this at all. Nothing here stands out in the slightest and theres nothing on here Im going to ever want to see again. It was three hours of average to somewhat above average wrestling and thats about it. Nothing to see here but that was typical around this time in TNA. Weak show and definitely not worth seeing at all.
Date: July 16, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 600
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
This is the last of the Victory Road series and is almost a holy grail of TNA for me. I looked for months to find this and finally got a copy of it so here it is. This will be I think the first whole PPV series for TNA that Ive gotten through. Anyway this is from the earlier days of TNA so they dont have this down to a science yet. The main event is a fatal fourway for the #1 contender spot with the winner getting a shot next month at Hard Justice. Lets get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event scene which is the aforementioned fatal fourway. Jarrett won the title in a controversy at Slammiversary and the deal is Cornette, the guy that made the decision to give Jarrett the title, gets to pick the four guys in here tonight. Christian says hes still champion. The four guys are Sting, Steiner, Joe and Christian. Jarrett says hes champion and thats all that matters as he runs down all four guys. This goes on too long.
This is the old school Impact Zone with the tunnel and all that jazz.
Naturals vs. Diamonds in the Rough
The Diamonds in the Rough never could win a match if I remember. Theyre comprised of Elix Skipper and David Young, who had an epic losing streak back in the day. The name comes from their manager being Simon Diamond. The Naturals might be the least interesting team youve ever seen and are managed by Shane Douglas because Chris Candido was their manager and passed away so Douglas stepped in for Candidos honor.
Shane comes in to start and runs down Flair who has nothing to do with this but he does it anyway. Hes had the Naturals (Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas) in a boot camp or something like that. They have new haircuts (I think) and new outfits, having been franchised. Is this like having your ass franchised? Young vs. uh .oh does it matter? Shane doesnt stay with them here for reasons of tough I guess.
Both Naturals take Young down with a double shoulder. Andy has black hair. Got it. They tag in quickly and beat up Skipper for a bit. Young gets the same as this has been one sided in the first minute. Stevens misses an Asai Moonsault and Skipper gets two on him back in the ring. Off to Young as the Diamonds take over. The referee wears shorts which is freaky looking for some reason.
The Diamonds hit a combination Dominator/top rope double axe to Stevens. Douglas finally comes in and the double teaming begins on Skipper. We get what I think was miscommunication by the Diamonds and here comes Stevens. I think the Naturals are the faces but I have no idea for the most part. Spinning neckbreaker kind of move gets two on Skipper. Skipper tries to take over but gets caught in a combination Batista Bomb/Missile dropkick to end Skipper. Cool finisher.
Rating: C+. Just a tag match really that could have been on any TV show. Nothing was too bad in it and the Naturals looked pretty good. The crowd seemed into it and for an opener thats really all you can ask for. Fun little opener here but its not like this really accomplished anything.
Shane yells at them for not being good enough.
As always we run down the card. I dont get why we have to do that but its a TNA staple I guess.
Christian asks what happened to the old Christian but is back here. I think this led to a heel turn for him but Im not sure. Steiner has no heart apparently and can be right back in Jarretts shadows after he loses. Joe apparently says Joe is TNA and also says are you going to finish those fries. Joe says he wants to be the man but Christian is the man. Sting is a carton of milk. It smells fine but it expired, meaning its not what it looks like. Good promo here.
We recap Rhynos open challenge. He got a push because WWECW came around and Rhyno was offered a spot which he turned down and burned what was allegedly the ECW TV Title belt in a trash can. He then issued an open challenge to anyone from a 4, 6 or 8 sided ring. Monty Brown took him up on it so here we are.
Monty Brown vs. Rhyno
Brown wants to go on a win streak like Joe did which got Joe to the world title picture. Joe wouldnt get the title for almost two years because we NEEDED to have Sting get like three reigns and Angle (ok thats not fair) to get the title for like a year in between. Big brawl to start as were on the floor almost immediately. Brown drops him onto the railing and we go back to the ring.
Rhyno tries to fight back and gets run over by Brown. Brown of course would be in WWE by the end of the year. Pounce misses and down goes the referee in maybe two minutes. Rhyno sends him to the floor and DIVES OVER THE TOP to crush Brown in a cool looking move. The referee is kind of back up and Rhyno gets a belly to belly. Theres a Gore for the referee in the corner and hes more or less dead.
Out to the floor again and its a big brawl. They head up the aisle and I think I know where this is going. Both guys hammer away as the referee is like dead or something in the ring. Lots of punches from both guys but we head into the crowd. They go towards the door and the bell rings as I guess the angel of the referee calls it.
Rating: D+. Intense brawl, but can someone explain to me why these two were booked together if they were going to go with this ending? If both guys are getting pushes, wouldnt it be better for them to get wins? I dont get that at all as the whole point was the referee being down. Odd booking but a fun brawl.
Konnan says LAX is awesome and theyll get the tag titles. Oh and Cornette sucks and LAX will be taking over.
We recap LAXs push which is a political one if you can believe that. Its about immigration reform or something like that with Mexicans not being able to be legalized citizens. This gets a music video with it for no apparent reason. LAX staged a work stoppage and Cornette said Jiffy Lube was hiring. Ron Killings and Sonjay Dutt got in their faces about it, setting this up.
LAX vs. Sonjay Dutt/Ron Killings
LAX has their own announcer who speaks Spanish. Theres a section of the arena that has graffiti all over it. Dutt is a guy that is always around and no one ever really cared. Killings is more commonly known as R-Truth. Its weird to hear Whats Up as his theme music but he wrote it so its officially his song so its here in TNA also. His entrance takes forever here as we get into the rarely heard third verse.
LAX jumps them to start and Hernandez goes sailing over the top which wasnt his intentions. Homicide hits a big dive to take out Dutt but Truth takes out all of LAX in return. Truth vs. Homicide in the ring now. Truth wipes his ass with Homicides headband. Sunset flip gets two and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. Ive never been a fan of homicide but hes moving pretty well here.
Off to Dutt now who speeds things up a bit and gets two on Homicide. I think this is your X-Division tag match here. The guys both get dueling chants. Hernandez comes in and Dutt cant do a damn thing to him. Since Hernandez did well while he was in he tags out to Homicide who didnt do well while he was in there. We hit the chinlock on Dutt for a few seconds but Dutt speeds things up again which doesnt work that well.
Back off to Hernandez as this is some weird cousin of power vs. speed. Dutt tries to move again and gets caught in a backbreaker that Truth has to break up. Homicide sends him to the floor and Konnan hammers away a bit more. Sonjay speeds things up again (notice a pattern here?) and it lets him bring in Truth.
Truth takes over with his usual odd offense and throws in Konnans rolling clothesline. Gringo Cutter by Homicide gets two. Truth blocks a suplerplex and gets a Falcons Arrow from the middle rope for two. They go to the floor so Hernandez and Dutt go at it some more. Finally the speed works but Homicide cracks something with a chair and gets taken down by Truth. Sonjay goes up and Konnan hits him with a slapjack to allow a Border Toss to end this.
Rating: C. Just a tag match here as were 45 minutes into this show and nothing has stood out at all yet. LAX is getting a push here which I guess is fine. They would get the titles in a few months and hold them for all of a month, showing once again that brilliant TNA booking. These tag matches so far have been glorified squashes. Im not sure I get the point.
Steiner yells at JB about the main event.
Heres Team Canada. Oh wait theyre not Team Canada anymore as theyve been disbanded. Theyre comprised of Coach Scott DAmore, Eric Young, Bobby Roode, A-1 and Petey Williams. This is their last appearance together and the Coach isnt happy with it, blaming Cornette. The fans do the goodbye song while the Coach says this is the beginning of a movement or something which went nowhere.
Roode is a hot free agent apparently. This would result in appearances from random managers until he hooked up with Ms. Brooks. Petey is like a son to DAmore. The fans like Eric apparently. This is more or less them saying weve got nothing and were really hoping you dont pick up on that. A-1, the muscleman but not the enforcer mind you, cant wrestle according to the fans but will be fine according to DAmore.
Finally theres Young left, who has been cheered for the whole time. Apparently the disbanding of Team Canada is all Erics fault because of his paranoia and all that jazz. Young was the one that was terrified of being fired and was always threatened with it and it cost them I think. Coach makes him give up his team jacket and his Team Canada pants. Give me my pants back! Hes wearing different color socks.
DAmore threatens to have Eric fired and then leaves in a big fat huff. I said he left in one, not that he is one. Actually he is anyway so its pretty clear Im just filling in time at the moment. Anyway Eric addresses the fans, asking if they want him fired. They say no, so he asks again. The plan is set apparently and Dont Fire Eric is their secret mission. He goes into the crowd to celebrate with his new friends. This literally ate up 15 minutes.
Ad for Bound For Glory. I guess if you listed off all these people, you could say THEY would be there. Nah thatll never catch on. Its in Detroit this year.
Senshi (Kaval) says that nothing here has been unbelievable because hes awesome. Hes facing a mystery opponent that is a former X Champion. Hes the current champion if that makes more sense.
X-Division Title: Senshi vs. ???
The surprise opponent is Kazarian. He just comes out before his name is announced and is out first. Was there a point to him being a mystery at all? Whatever. Good sign: Chuck Norris Fears Senshi. Feeling out process to start us off here as you would expect. Senshi grabs an armbar over the ropes which gets him nowhere since its in the ropes. Kaz shoots a single leg and we hit the mat for a bit.
With Senshi holding a headscissors, Kaz literally bounces back and forth before grabbing a headlock. The champion kicks away with those hard shots of his. They chop it out with no one being able to get a long advantage. Kaz has short hair here which is a very weird look for him. Senshi gets some knees in and drapes him over the top for two. Muta elbow gets two and we hit a body scissors.
Dueling chants: This is boring vs. Shut the fuck up. Im with the former but not entirely. After some martial arts we go right back to the mat. Kaz gets up and gets something like a spinning clothesline to break the momentum. The fans are split here as Kaz gets a springboard back elbow for no cover. Slingshot dropkick in the corner has Senshi in trouble.
That only gets two though as the crowd wakes up for a few seconds and then dies just as fast. I mean literally it sounds like a radio show with West commentating at times. Sunset flip by Kaz is blocked by a double stomp by Senshi to shift momentum again. Rapid fire kicks to the head by Senshi as this is dominating again. Kaz gets a DDT out of nowhere for two. Running kick in the corner by Senshi though sets up the Warriors Way to end it.
Rating: D. Oh man this was dull and the crowd knew it. They would do some mat stuff, Senshi would throw some kicks, Kaz would try to get something going but then would get stuck right back on the mat. This was terribly weak and I still dont get the appeal of Senshis style. Its 90% kicks and it went nowhere at all.
Larry Zbyszko is ready to go for his hair vs. hair match with Raven. Slick Johnson is the referee tonight and isnt very trustworthy.
We recap this very long running feud which began with Raven being all whiny because he couldnt get a break while Larry was the boss. Then Larry cost Raven the title (kind of) and Larry put him through hell for like a year before Larry lost his authority and we get this out of it. It wasnt bad but it went on WAY too long and people stopped caring.
Raven vs. Larry Zbyszko
Raven is the face here if youre confused, as you likely are. He has a big old gut here and Larry seems to fall. Apparently Johnson tripped him. Well at least theyre not hiding it anymore. They lock up and go around the ring a bit as its clear this isnt going to go long. Larry gets a spin kick as the crowd is pretty much dead here. Larry throws on a spinning toe hold and works the leg a bit.
A chop gets two but Larry bitches about the speed of the count. Well at least hes actually wrestling and not stalling all day here as is his custom. Back to the toe hold because I guess those chops were too exciting for us. Raven Effect hits but Johnson was knocked down. A pair of small packages get us nowhere and then the Raven Effect #2 ends this.
Rating: F. What else were you expecting here? Boring match to end a boring angle (by the end of it) and the ending was known for weeks. Yeah Ive got nothing here. This was boring. Thats it.
Larry tries to escape post match but cant and theres the haircut after Raven tapes him to the chair. After Larry screams about firing everyone we FINALLY go to the back for something different. Another five minutes or so wasted here.
The Paparazzi (Shelley, Devine and Nash) continue their hilarious anti-X-Division stuff. I have no idea what the point of this was but it became Nash claiming to be the X-Division god or something like that and it was a total parody that cracked me up. Still have no clue what it was though.
We recap said feud which was Nash saying that with AJ and Daniels and Joe doing other stuff, hes going after the X Title and taking Devine and Shelley under his wing. He went after the X guys and beat the hell out of all of them.
Kevin Nash/Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin/Jay Lethal
See what I mean here? This was hilarious stuff and it worked the whole time. Shelley (with blonde highlights) vs. Sabin to start us off. This is pre-Guns by about a year. They go to a stalemate and its off to Nash now who draws a face chant. Nash vs. Lethal now with Nash holding his hand above his head and managing to kick it in a shocking lack of a muscle tear.
Lethal speeds things up and tries a springboard spinning cross body which lands at Nashs feet as he misjudged it. Sabin and Lethal double team Shelley a bit with some Guns style offense. The heels hit the floor for a breather as we stop the momentum again. Thats a running theme/problem tonight. Lethal vs. Shelley now with Alex cheating to take over like a good little heel.
Devine crotches Lethal and Shelley adds a crotch claw for reasons of .uh ..someone else want to take this one? Off to Nash now who fires in some knees. Lethal is 20 years old here. Thats almost scary. Sabin comes in and takes out Nashs knees to take over completely. Using Nash as a springboard we get a hesitation dropkick to Shelley who is in the Tree of Woe. The faces hit a bunch of stuff in rapid succession to Shelley. Devine messes up but Sabin cant hit the Cradle Shock. A second attempt fails but Sabin gets a fast rollup with a half bridge to win it. We get to hear HAIL SABIN again so Im happy.
Rating: C+. This was ok but thats about it. Nash was barely in it and the match kind of came and went. I guess this is the blowoff? I seem to remember Sabin beating Nash clean but Im not sure. Not much of a match but Gun vs. Gun is always worth a look. Needed more Nash though. Wow did I really just say that?
The heels go for a post match beatdown but Jerry Lynn, the TNA agent, runs out with a chair for the save.
Team 3D is in the back and Bubba says violence about 15 times and says thats what tonight is all about. This Team 3D also has Runt, aka Spike. Theyve got the James Gang, aka the New Age Outlaws and Abyss tonight. D-Von says nothing of note and Runt doesnt talk.
We recap the feud which involved the Outlaws doing an imitation of the Dudleys. The Dudleys believed the third opponent would be Bob Armstrong who was like 70. Instead they got Abyss for no apparent reason. This gets the music video treatment here for no apparent reason.
James Gang/Abyss vs. Team 3D
This is anything goes since its an Abyss match. Mitchell is with Abyss here. Bubba brings a chair out with him. For no apparent reason he drops it as this is one of those stupid ANYTHING GOES matches where they start with tagging. D-Von and BG James (Road Dogg) start us off. Abyss comes in and Runt wants a piece of him. There he is as its perfectly fine apparently. Bubba is thankfully wearing a t-shirt here.
Cross body by Runt literally bounces off Abyss. Chokeslam doesnt work so Abyss grabs him with a gorilla press slam. Off to Bubba now who stomps on the mat a lot. They slug it out with Bubba winning and attempting the Flip Flop and Fly, throwing in Road Doggs dance. When he stops though here comes Abyss, launching Runt over the top and into the crowd.
They break out the weapons now and the James Gang takes over. They stop for a random beer but Team 3D drills them low to take over. Abyss beats the hell out of Runt while Bubba and D-Von drink the beers. They fight out to the floor with neither really in control. Abyss misses a charge into the stage and Runt gets a chair to throw at him. Double stomp keeps Abyss down as the other four fight some more.
Runt finds a golf club from out of nowhere to choke Abyss with. Bubba puts staples into Abyss head and finds a sign that says ECW fears TNA. No, not really. That gets stapled to Abyss head in a sick spot. Fameasser to Bubba as the James Gang takes over. And never mind as Abyss takes Whats Up. Its table time but the James Gang stops it just in time.
The fans want fire. What sick fucking people! Double neckbreaker which is called 3D II to Kip James (seriously Kip James? That was the best they could do?) but heres Abyss to beat a lot of people up. Kip breaks up a 3D through the table and Abyss is able to hit Runt with a Black Hole Slam onto (not through at first) the table to end it.
Rating: C+. Another brawl here that isnt really different than any other brawl. These hardcore style matches are fine but it takes talented people to have good matches, which to be fair usually holds true for every match in existence. This wasnt great or anything but it was certainly fine I guess.
AMW says theyre awesome and theyll get the belts tonight in their last chance. Storm says not to worry about the girl in the match.
We recap Daniels/Styles vs. AMW. The idea here is that Gail Kim kept interfering and costing Styles/Daniels the belts. They went out and got some Chyna wannabe named Sirelda and its a six person tag with the belts on the line.
Tag Titles: AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels/Sirelda vs. Americas Most Wanted/Gail Kim
The champions come out to something sounding like The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. AJ vs. Storm to start. AMW is Chris Harris and James Storm if youre not familiar. Storm avoids an arm drag but gets caught in a rana. Theres an implied history between Gail and Sirelda which was never gone into. Storm grabs his hat and brings in Harris. AJ beats both of them up and kicks the hat off of Storm, throwing it into the audience.
Kim and Daniels come in and Kim slaps Sirelda. Off to the monster now and Kim runs to bring in Storm. He gets slapped so its off to Harris vs. Sirelda. Gail tries to interfere and gets launched. Everything breaks down and the champions and their chick clean house. They throw AMW/Gail into the corner and we wind up getting a threesome scene with Gails face between Harris balls and Storm behind her. Use your imagination.
Storm vs. Daniels now with Daniels in control. Styles vs. Kim now and Gail gets spanked. She hits AJ low and AMW takes over. AJ isnt in trouble long but is caught in a spinebuster by Harris to put him right back down. Gail comes in to get some shots and adds in an Octopus Hold of all things. Off to Storm (they look A LOT alike here) who gets an Orton DDT for two.
The fans get behind AJ and he hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT to break up the heel momentum and bring in Daniels to no pop. Wow that was a long sentence. Death Valley Driver gets two. Everything breaks down and the girls do a REALLY bad sequence. AJ hits the big springboard forearm (love that move!) and Daniels grabs a Koji Clutch out of nowhere on Storm. After its broken up Gail and Storm hits a Death Sentence on Daniels.
Weve more or less abandoned the whole tagging thing here. Handcuffs are brought in which mean nothing at all. Angels Wings (sitout Pedigree) for two on Storm. Sirelda chokeslams Gail for two as Storm hits the Eye of the Storm on AJ for two as well. Harris avoids accidently being hit by the beer bottle which is part of the problems AMW had been having. Harris accidently drills Storm with a chair and a horrible sunset flip ends it with Storms shoulder about two inches off the mat.
Rating: C-. Totally average match here which went nowhere at all. The girls were totally worthless here for the most part but Gail wasnt horrible. Sirelda .not so much. This was a boring match for the most part with the titles never being in jeopardy at all. At least were closer to being over on this totally not interesting show.
We recap the main event. No one likes anyone and they all want to fight Jarrett. Seriously thats all there is here. More or less its totally obvious itll be Sting or Joe. Joe was insanely popular but TNA decided Sting was more deserving somehow despite no one really wanting to see Sting vs. Jarrett.
Joe says hes going to kill someone and that hes not going to be stopped.
Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. Scott Steiner vs. Sting
Steiner is Jarretts hired gun. Everyone gets the long walk to the ring from the back to waste even more time. Joe is undefeated here which would last until that bald Olympic dude got here. Cage has never been pinned or tapped in TNA either. I did like Christians entrance in TNA. That was always cool. Sting thinks Jarrett is a cancer because cancer is a word that its perfectly fine to throw around in wrestling.
The fans are completely behind Joe so Tenay says its Stings crowd. I think thats what he said at least as the JOES GONNA KILL YOU chant is drowning it out. Steiner vs. Christian and Sting vs. Joe to start. Sting vs. Joe in the ring with Joes knee being Stings target. Scorpion goes on quickly but Steiner breaks it up. Belly to belly puts Sting on the floor. Something tells me were going to be going into the formula here quickly.
Joe vs. Christian in the ring which was a big rivalry for awhile. Sting and Steiner fight up around the entrance which we really dont need to watch as the match cant end there. See, why dont they use a split screen here where it would actually make sense? Facewash by Joe and Sting cracks Steiner with a chair a few times. The pairs switch places and Sting remains in control of Steiner.
Steiner tries a backslide of all things but a cameraman pops in and sprays Sting in the eyes with alleged gasoline to blind him. I love how in a huge open area like this you can smell gasoline like 20 feet away according to West. Sting is taken out as the fans chant TNA. Oh the cameraman was Jarrett in disguise. I knew I forgot to mention something. Jarrett is thrown out in the back.
Its a triple threat for all intents and purposes here as Christian gets two on Joe. Steiner is on the floor at the moment. Joe tries the Musclebuster which doesnt connect and the Unprettier doesnt either. Christian gets a facewash to Joe in a nice touch. He tries something else but Steiner pulls him to the floor. Joe dives through the ropes to take everyone down at once.
Joe busts out a table for no apparent reason at all. He tries to suplex Steiner onto it but Scott reverses into a DDT onto the apron. As per the laws of wrestling, Joe is put through it via an elbow drop from Steiner. Points to Steiner for trying something like that which most older guys wouldnt do ever. Christian vs. Steiner in the ring at the moment with Steiner catching him in a powerslam.
Steiner gets something like an Angle Slam off the middle rope and Joe pops in for a pair of twos. Frog Splash by Christian misses and here comes Joe. He beats Christian down in the corner and knocks him into Steiner. Christian rolls Scotty up for two in a bit of a contrived spot. By contrived I mean that looked fake as hell. Belly to belly by Steiner gets no cover but does set up the Recliner. Oh my that hold is pathetic looking.
Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch and Christian has to make the save. Christian and Joe go up and Steiner drills both of them. Heres Sting back with a bandage around his head of course. Frog Splash to Steiner by Christian gets two. Steiner dumps Joe and Christian so that the Death Drop and send Sting to Hard Justice.
Rating: C. Totally average main event here that is nothing to remember at all. The Sting injury seemed rather pointless as he was out there for a good while in the first place and then comes back later on so the injury wasnt that serious it would seem. Not much of a match at all but it wasnt that bad I guess.
Christian gets in Stings face but shakes his hand to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show is just not interesting. There is only one bad match but theres nothing good on this at all. Nothing here stands out in the slightest and theres nothing on here Im going to ever want to see again. It was three hours of average to somewhat above average wrestling and thats about it. Nothing to see here but that was typical around this time in TNA. Weak show and definitely not worth seeing at all.