Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 60 Minutes With Stan Lee! Now here's your host, STAN LEE!!
The crowd roars as we go on the air for the late night talk show hosted by the legendary comics figure. Wonder how things will go.
Excelsior, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight I have an interesting show for ya. i have with me a special guest that will most likely be the oddest one here. I've had guys like Nicholas Cage, Lou Ferigno, Mark Hamill and even Chad Vader, but this is probably the closest guy to come here that resembles something out of a comic book. This man has been talked about quite a bit. Mostly for harassing Oscar winning movie star and pro wrestler, Titus. 'Nuff said. Give it up, for the Enigmatic Baez!
I come out and see the crowd clapping simply because a sign says so. I go by and sit. What to expect from Stan Lee?
So Baez. You've been quite the popular wrestler. But it seems that as of late you've caught the eye, and ire, of the Hollywood world. People don't really seem to appreciate how you harass Titus every week.
You think I care what the people from that cesspool think? They carry dogs in purses. They have no right to judge me.
OK then. Why do you attack Titus then?
At first, it was because of all these stupid comparisons of how he was a better masked wrestler than me. Management casted a huge shadow over me and made it public that they disliked me because my attitude affected my sales. Now, it's because Titus fails to acknowledge that at the least, I'm as good as he is. I beat him weeks ago fair and square and nothing changed after that. People still think the same. That I'm just #2. So I decided to get under his skin. Have I not been doing a good job? He's lost his cool over the past few weeks just because I show up to ruin his day. This would have never reached such a point if it weren't for him being blinded by his fanbase.
I find that very interesting. I myself find you to be your own man and not the "other" masked wrestler if that makes sense. I deal with masked people all the time. I'd never compare Spiderman to Captain America though. Totally different people.
That's my point! People see Titus or Red Mask and bask at his so called glory. But when they see me, I'm just the other guy. Freakin' Bucky. I'm out to prove a point. He may be popular, but I have the attitude.
Now, I know you two have a major match coming up on Pay-Per-View coming soon. Thing about it though, it's got these little bet's to them and we have to choose them. You got Hair versus Hair where the winner shaves the loser. You got Contract versus Contract, where the loser becomes the winners forced sidekick. And finally you have your mask wagered against his Oscars. Which would you choose?
First off, the Hair vs Hair stipulation is stupid. I wear a mask. I can just get one that covers my head. But picturing Titus bald isn't so bad though.
A moment of silence goes by with me looking around for a bit.
I was expecting a picture of him bald showing on screen, but I guess there isn't one.
Yeah, production wasn't able to do it. Something about a lawsuit.
Typical. The second stipulation you mentioned was a match for our contracts? You know what? Screw that. I tried to be friendly and he didn't care. Why would I want to force him now? All the humiliation in the world would not chance people's view of us and personally, I don't want people feeling sorry for him. If I win his contract, it's strictly so he can help me win a title. I don't feel like using his contract to make him suffer because I know it will benefit him in the end.
That's an interesting point of view. Pretty genre savvy if you ask me.
Of course. No better teacher than past experiences. Even if they come from other people. But my true wish is to get my hands on his Oscars. His priced possessions and the very root of these problems. Those stupid statues represent how must acceptance he has. Not to mention just how good an actor he is. And believe me, to be the suck up he can be, those acting skills are very well needed. Owning his Oscars would be like castrating the man. I'll be owning what he lives for. And that will be in my possession as a constant reminder that I am better.
I must admit, you are one very devious person, Baez. If I do say so myself, you remind me of Venom a bit. You're not evil so to speak, but you serve your own agenda that mostly involves holding a grudge with the one person causing problems in your life.
Well thanks, Stan. It means a lot to me. Hell, if you ever want to, I could play Venom if you ever make a movie.
You're an actor?
Why sure I am. Matter of fact, I'm nominated for a few Oscars already. For my performance at Apocalypse. And the one I'll have at Unscripted.
Well, we'll be sure to keep that in mind.
Say, are you ever gonna gonna use Kraven The Hunter for one of your flicks? Because I know this one guy who...
I'm not really the one working the movies. I just make the cameos in them.
So, you're saying you can't get me to play Venom?
No. From what I've heard, the people that do work with the movies are looking to cast Titus for the role of Cable in a possible "Cable & Deadpool" title.
WHAT?! TITUS? CABLE? RYAN REYNOLDS? How could that goodie-two-shoes possibly be casted as freakin' Cable?!
The crowd bursts in cheers at the unconfirmed announcement. I, however, am not too thrilled.
My girlfriend can be a better Cable than him. And what the hell are you idiot's cheering about? Wouldn't you prefer me playing Venom?!
BOO! Cheers on the crowd. As I angrily get off the couch.
That idiot is no better than me. Bringing pointless grief to me is all he's really good at. I've beaten him once, and soon enough I'll do it again. And I'll carry the proof from our wager to prove it. Whether it's his hair, his Oscars or even his own ass-faced self. You people will soon enough have to deal with the fact that I'm just plain better as I carry the proof and rub it on everyone's face. Soon enough, I'll be #1 and he'll just be #2. And from what I hear, #2 stinks.
With great power comes great responsibility, Baez. Don't let the crowd get to ya.
At the end of the day, I'm the one on TV and they are the one's watching.
So whats your game plan for Sunday?
Easy, Stan. To bring the Kickassery.
Well, you heard it here, folks. Baez to wrestle Titus on Sunday at Unscripted. What will be on the line? Hair? Contracts? Or their most priced possessions? Go online now and vote. We'll be right back with "That Time With Kirby". 'Nuff Said.
The crowd roars and I just leave. I go backstage to wait for the show end. Alisha is back there waiting for me. She seems worried.
You know, all the time we spent together the last few weeks and you don't seem the least bit worried about what would happen if you lost.
Worrying would make things bad.
For a guy who knows so much about wrestling tropes, you should be aware that at times, one guy win's but he'll most likely lose the second time.
So that's you having no confidence in me?
I do think you can do it. But with so much on the line and you doing as much as you have, I worry Titus might decide to go all out too. What'll you do if you lose?
Keep fighting. I don't care how hated I am for the things I've done. I look out for number 1. Me. And I've never been one to take the safe route. Titus is already on top of the world. I have far more to gain from beating him, than he has from beating me. Making him fall from such a high grace is what motivates me to keep trying. Because I know it will be a hard fall. If I lose my hair, my mask or even my own freedom in the attempt, so be it. I'm a scrappy guy. I'll keep fighting even if I'm buried 6 feet under. I'm tired of falling behind. I wanna be the one people talk about.
Just be careful.
Sorry. That ain't in me. I aim to win at all costs.
*Sigh*
Now let's hit the catering.
We walk off down the hallway. You can tell I'm pretty determined. But only time will tell if that determination can get me a win.
