Unscripted '12: Bearded Gentlemen vs. Tastic/Celeste/Dragon

[Viola Moonlight]

THE BEARD:

The Beard is shaken in his sleep as a strange man stands above him. Beard goes to swing but the man ducks and heads out the window. The Beard fiddles around before flipping the switch at his bedside. Next to him, an envelope stamped “Top Secret”. Beard rubs his eyes as he tears open the envelope mumbling under his breath.

Gent needs to stop with these sneaky memos.

Beard finally tears it open and inside a ransom like letter. Beard is concerned as he reads it aloud.

Dear friend,

I apologize if this startles you, but our meeting draws near and I look forward to seeing your face one last time. Down the road is a rest station, I ask of you to meet me there at 6:30 AM time. It would mean the world to me and after that you’ll never hear from me again.

The Beard drops the letter before looking at the clock reading 6:35. Beard frantically hurries as he rushes out the door and heads down the road to the rest stop mentioned above. As Beard arrives a sign points out where he is to go, the men’s bathroom. Beard pops his head in as he flips the lights on. A voice from a stall answers.

Beard is that you? I see you got my message.

Yeah, a little untimely though.

I’m sorry. I had to hire a middle man. The cost was cheap, a pack of twinkies and a bottle of Yoohoo.

Lets get this over with. The nonsense needs to end, show yourself and explain your action so I can move on with my life.

This nonsense was to help you move on and I can tell that it has worked. I’m proud of you for that.

Thanks?

Beard sounds puzzled as the stall door opens and reveals Beard’s former partner, The Local Talent. Beard is in awe as Talent looks at his former partner.

Whoops, forgot to flush.

Beard has a smirk on his face as Talent flushes the toilet before appearing out of the stall once again.

Sorry about that, duty calls. Hehe see what I did there, duty calls. Doody as in-

Beard cuts off his former partner as he shoves him against the bathroom wall. A look of concern comes across Talent’s face, a fear for his life.

You…you son of a bitch. First you just up and leave me after Kingdom Come and then you go and just mess up my life. I don’t know what made you think that it was a good idea to stalk me at every turn. And now that I know it is you, it’ll give me great pleasure to beat the living piss out of you.

Beard clinches his fist as he raises it towards Talent’s face, who squints in fear that Beard is going to knock his face off. Beard lets out a sigh before releasing his former partner, who slides down the wall towards the ground. Talent grabs hold of Beard’s leg, like a child to a parent trying to leave the toy store.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Beard breaks the hold as he lifts Talent back up and roughly places him against the wall before heading to the exit.

Look I’m sorry, I had to leave. My family was onto me and I couldn’t bear to face the fact that I let you down. We had something special, a strange chemistry. I couldn’t talk to you, I wasn’t emotionally stable enough to do so.

Beard stops in his tracks as Talent continues on his rant.

That’s why I went to Emily. I knew she’d understand and I wanted to make you happy. I wanted you to completely forget about me and that is where The Gent came along. I knew you two would make for an interesting team so I campaigned for it to happen. I was just trying to make you happy Beard, I never meant to make you cry.

Cry? What the hell are you talking about?

Wait, you didn’t cry? I cried for days after our breakup. Well now this isn’t embarrassing or anything.

Look Talent, I get what you did. I just wish you came to me instead of playing this game as if you were trying to rekindle what we once had. All you had to do was make the call and we would have been good. I could never be mad at you. For some odd reason you get me and for an even weirder reason, I like you.

You like me? You really like me?!?!

Talent leaps into Beard’s arms, tears in his eyes. Beard has a stern look on his face but slowly begins to crack a smile as he embraces his former partner and friend.

It was good seeing you Talent. I hope everything works out for you my friend. And this isn’t a goodbye, it is a see you later.

Beard walks out as Talent watches on, smile on his big Jewish face. A feint nose blowing can be heard as Beard exits as he shakes his head at Talent’s shenanigans.

Ahh there you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.

Do you have a GPS hooked to me that I’m unaware of?

Now why would I need a GPS? You left with this childish yet horrifying letter behind back at your motel room. Anywho, it is good to see you awake and going this beautiful morning.

Beard gives The Gent a thumbs up as Gent continues on.

We have a conundrum on our hands. You see, management has placed us in a top secret match that will kick off the Unscripted PPV.

Top secret? Bring it on.

It will be our biggest challenge. Our hands will be full for sure. As we will either be facing Celeste, Matt Tastic, or El Califa Dragon.

If I may, I think one of my old catchphrases would come in handy here. Time to beard ‘em up and fu-

Stop. No need for that language monsieur. We need focus. It’s time go beard or go home.

Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Beard gives his Gent a knuckle bump for stealing one of his mottos.

We mustn’t waste any time Beard.

Gent and Beard walk off as they discuss strategy as they fade into the distance. The Local Talent peeps his head out of the bathroom exit and whispers under his breath.

If Beard has taught me anything, it is that with hard work you will persevere. And at Unscripted, their hard work will pay off. Goodbye my Beard, goodbye. *sniff*

 

[Viola Moonlight]

TBK:

Las Vegas: Sin City, The Gambling capitol of the World. Whatever name you have for it, it’s known for primarily one thing, gambling. The sight of neon lights flashing from outside to the millions upon millions stacked up inside testing their luck on slot machines, roulette wheels and blackjack tables is one man’s heaven and another man’s hell. It’s here in the empty room of the King’s Casino, in an empty red room with nothing else but a chair in the corner sits the official interviewer of WZCW, a Leon Kensworth, who was given this exact location and time for an interview with someone who wasn’t really his favorite person to interview, on account of a few unfortunate previous experiences that ended up in him being stranded in the middle of France, the eccentric “Le Gentleman Masque”, a masked man from France, taking his time away to explore more of America.

Kensworth: I guess I should count my lucky blessing I got to stay in America this time when I had to travel to interview him. I wonder why this room is so empty.

Suddenly, a knock is heard from the door.

Kensworth: Just in time.

As he opens up the door, he is greeted face to face, not by Le Gentleman Masque, but by the sight of a giant white tiger.

Kensworth: Pleasure to see you, Tiger…TIGER?

The mere sight of the giant White Tiger this close to him causes Kensworth to dash to the exact opposite side of the room. Suddenly, from behind the lion, enters the man himself, pulling on the leash of the creature, before calmly petting her.

The Gent: Sabrina, calm! …My deepest apologies Sir Kensworth. This is Sabrina, one of the two white tigers, the same ones commonly used by the famous Foggleton and Larry show they hold here in Las Vegas. My, the tigers are so very noble creatures. Why I have a tiger myself at home. His name is Wolfgang, a reference to the famous composer, mind you.

Kensworth: Be honest with me. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

Taking off his hat to scratch his head, The Gent simply looks in confusion before once again putting his hat back on.

The Gent: I am not entirely sure what you’re talking about, but to my best knowledge, I believe that giving you a heart attack was not in my agenda. Of course, the human mind is an odd case, so I might have been doing it entirely subconsciously! What a dastardly crime my brain hatches without me even realizing it.

Sighing, Kensworth moves to an area just close enough so that the mic can barely pick up what The Gent is saying without the tiger being able to get to him.

Kensworth: Gent, why do you have a tiger? Why are we in Las Vegas?

The Gent: Terrific questions. Stupendous, I would say, in fact. I would suggest, however that we take it one at a time. Now then, you brought up the question of why we were in Las Vegas? I’ll tell you why we are in this city. While I initially came here to visit a friend of mine, I had decided to test my luck at a casino here accompanied by my partner, Le Beard. I remember many things, but not too many about my first night here. I remember getting a surprisingly good luck streak, I remember ordering a bottle of the finest whine that this Casino had to offer and by the time I woke up, I experienced what is commonly referred to as a hangover, however it wasn’t quite as amusing as that one movie.

Kensworth: Could you answer the question about the tiger first?

The Gent: Huh. If you must know, I guess I could say I was using it as training for my upcoming match, showing that one must be prepared for anything, but a more accurate and truthful answer is that I personally miss Wolfgang after I made a more long-term run to America. My butler, Sir Banks, is looking after him, but I do wish he was with me. Despite my best attempts, I couldn’t find a hotel that allowed me to bring my tiger into the room, sadly. Is it too much to ask for a tiger in one’s room, I say? …Apologies, I am getting sidetracked. To shorten my answer to your initial question, Sir Kensworth, it reminds me of home, I did not mean to disturb you.

Finally calmed down, Kensworth realizes something.

Kensworth: …Wait a second. You said your partner is with you. Where is he right now?

The Gent: Why that’s an easy one, Kensworth. Who do you think has the other Tiger, Sabrina’s brother, Samson? Speaking of which, the next Foggleton and Larry show should be on soon. Get your tickets, will you? It’s a strange mix of the mystical dark arts and the rabid adventurous animal taming nature. Completely fascinating, I’d say. Before I go, however, I must say a few words. Whomever my partner and I face, whatever combination of Sir Tastic, Sir Califa or a Lady Celeste, I have complete faith in my partner and I can only hope the raging giant has faith in me when we take on what feels to me like our first real match as a team, two classy individuals setting their sights on perhaps one day, the coveted Tag Team gold, but until then, let’s make the world classy, I say. Adieu, Sir Kensworth.

Leaving with the tiger, The Gent makes one last bow before throwing his calling card, the tiny replica of his mask, now with an an additional card that’s a small replica of his partner’s Beard up into the air before shutting the door behind him.

Kensworth: Thank god.

As he goes to open up the door to leave the interview, he overhears the sound of the intercom for the casino vaguely outside his door.

Intercom: Attention customers of the King’s Casino. We’re sorry to say that due to lack of supervision, there is now a tiger roaming around the casino. The person who accidentally left him off his leash, a Mr. ‘Mayske’ would like to inform people that he is sorry about this. Please, stay away from the Tiger, thank you.

Stopped in his tracks, he sighs once again before sitting down on the ground

Kensworth: Well Leon, looks like you’re spending another night trapped again. I should really remember to bring something for next time this happens.