klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Turning Point 2009
Date: November 15, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay
Back to Orlando for another show here, this time from just before Hogan and Bischoff arrived. AJ is champion here and the main event is against his old buddies in the form of Daniels and Joe. This is back in the period when the idea was AJ is awesome. Other than that there isnt much going on here but the focus is definitely more on wrestling than drama, and thats certainly a nice change of pace from todays product. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about change and how everything goes through it. This of course transitions into a video about Hogan and then into the three way main event. Joe wants to be the best in the world and Daniels wants to prove that hes as good as AJ. Also Desmond Wolfe has been jumping Angle so they have a match tonight.
X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Homicide
Red is champion here but Homicide has pinned him recently. Don West is with Red here. Oh and Homicide is in World Elite which I dont think is going to matter at the end of the day. Its still a six sided ring too which takes some time to adjust to again. Naturally things speed up quickly and they trade speed moves. Headscissors puts Homicide down but a clothesline turns Red inside out.
West is shouting LOUDLY, as in you can hear him and its not loud enough to be on a microphone. Red fights back and gets a seated clothesline for two. What can be described as a Swanton Bomb but falling (I think intentionally) misses and Homicide hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Homicide goes after West which gets him nowhere. The fans chant no me gusta (Spanish for I dont like you) at Homicide in a funny bit.
West playing cheerleader is a funny bit. The coaching hes giving sounds good too so its not as bad as it sounds. Homicide gets a palm shot ala Abdullah the Butcher and its off to a modified leg lock. Homicide lets it go and shouts to someone that we cant see. Red is sat up on the top and they slug it out a bit from there, resulting in Red sending him down. Arm drag off the top by Red which is a cool move I dont remember seeing before. By that I mean Red jumped and caught one in the air.
DDT gets two and this is a pretty fun opener. Loud hes amazing chant lasts about 3 seconds. This is the Crucial Crew I think and theyre getting very annoying. Red fires off some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip and a Michinoku Driver for two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) doesnt work as Red takes him down and gets a standing shooting star for two.
Moonsault press is mostly caught in a cutter for a long two. West is losing his mind on these kickouts. Hes a very energetic guy to say the least and hes having a good time out there. Homicides top rope rana is reversed into a sunset bomb off the top (called the Code Red. Red jumped down onto Homicide to hook it, making it look awesome) for the pin to retain. Sweet opener.
Rating: B. Good stuff here as the theory of fast paced high flying stuff is a great way to open the show. It worked fine here and West added a nice energy to this. I wouldnt want to see it every night (West I mean) but for a one off thing here its fine. This is the kind of stuff you dont see anymore in TNA: two guys getting ten minutes to go out there and have a fast paced and fun match. Sad too.
Taz and West run down the card. As in the one we already paid for. I dont get it either.
Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita
All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think Ill see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but its off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. Were less than a minute in and theyve all been in already.
Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.
Madison takes over and its off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey cant wrestle so were back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and its cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.
Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesnt get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.
Wolfe says this all started with a handshake and then drilled him, which proved his point. Tonight the Wolfe will devour every scrap that remains. He knows Angle really well but Angle knows nothing about Wolfe. School is in session tonight and in Wolfe 101, Angle loses. Good night this guy was awesome.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns
The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. Theyre heels and Beer Money are faces .I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but theyre faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and its off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.
They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roodes leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and its off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.
Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.
We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) cant connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!
Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe Im jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much its clear theyre going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, heres Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it .and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.
Rating: C-. Match wasnt bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didnt add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.
We recap Raven returning on Impact and throwing a fireball at Foley to join Dr. Stevie. Theyre not on the show tonight or anything. Were just wasting time here. Foley will be on Impact apparently.
Nash, holding the Global Title, says JB shouldnt use such foul language. This is between him and Hulk apparently. Oh dear. Apparently the explanation comes Thursday if Hulk says its ok.
We recap Tara vs. Kong in a cage. The idea is Tara doesnt back down from her and is debuting here. Ok then. Tara got in a good line saying she wont be locked in there with Kong but Kong will be locked in there with her.
Tara vs. Awesome Kong
This is when Tara wore those TINY shorts and a t-shirt to start which she would remove later. The shirt, not the shorts unfortunately. There goes the shirt as I wonder how in the world Playboy turned her down, which they did. Kong takes her straight into the corner to start and they slug it out. I love those holes in the cage that TNA uses for the cameras. Splash misses by Kong and the spinning backfist goes into the cage as well.
Tara goes after the hand, proving that shes hot as well as smart. She tries to escape but KONG SMASH, catching her in an electric chair. Kong goes up, only to get crotched. Im not sure if that hurts or not. You pick whether Im not sure due to a lack of gonads or an excess of fat. KONG GETS A MISSILE DROPKICK FOR TWO!!!! WOW. Kong drapes her up against the cage and rams into her back. Id make a ramming into Tara from behind joke but that might not be PG enough.
The fans all chant for Tara as I cant believe shes 38 here. All Kong at the moment as she tries for a suplex. The key word there being try though as Tara counters into a DDT. Tara hammers away and gets a superkick (see what I mean about it always being used) and a dropkick for two. They both stand on the top rope, facing the cage before falling and crotching themselves on the top.
They kick away at each other with Tara falling to the mat. You can win by the traditional three ways here if I didnt mention that. Tara tries the Widows Peak off the top but settles for a HUGE FREAKING POWERBOMB that only gets two. That totally should have been the finish right there. Instead Tara looks to climb out but comes back, hitting a cross body/Thesz Press to end it.
Rating: C. Pretty good match here and Taras awesome legs help it a lot, but I kind of wonder why this is in a cage other than for the ending bump. Its not terrible but at the same time this was nothing great for the most part. Tara was pretty clearly winning as it was her big debut. Not bad, but nothing particularly great at all. Also this isnt the traditional Broken theme song so its not as good.
Tara says shes coming after ODB who she would beat soon.
The announcers talk about Hogan a bit and we get a video about it. Oh joy. Nothing you couldnt guess would be in here.
Rhyno/Team 3D vs. DAngelo Dinero/Hernandez/Matt Morgan
The Dudleys have the Japanese tag titles as usual. Apparently Pope just added himself to his team. This was when Hernandez and Morgan had been awesome about a month before and then got stuck in a weak tag team which you could argue is a story still going on today. D-Von looks like he isnt sure if he wants chicken or beef. He and Hernandez start us off. The fans are chanting something and the crowd has kind of died here.
The opening is surprisingly slow as they seem like theyre not sure what they want to do. Shoulder block takes D-Von down and Pope tags himself in, doing something a bit heelish. A shoulder of his own gets two. Id hope it was of his own at least as it would be odd for him to use someone elses shoulder. Ray comes in and rips up some of the Dinero Bucks and gets taken down by a double leg takedown.
Ray takes over and its Flip Flop and Fly time. Why does Ray always want various men sucking on his penis? Pope comes back as these two have been in there WAY too long. Bubba Bomb puts Pope down and Ray poses a bit. Rhyno comes in for the first time and its off to Morgan. This is an interesting match for some reason that I cant quite place. Rhyno gets a shoulder into the ribs in the corner but walks into a discus lariat.
Everyone comes in and Team 3D hits a reverse 3D on Pope. Pope might have taken the bullet for Hernandez but its not entirely clear. D-Von and Pope are legal off that somehow and now its off to Rhyno. The heel team keeps up their fast tagging as Ray comes in to throw on a bearhug. That doesnt last long but Pope cant make the tag. Would it be a sin to keep the Pope from doing what he wants to do?
Back off to D-Von who gets a headbutt/splash for two. We hit the chinlock as Pope is in a good deal of trouble here. Is there such a thing as a bad deal of trouble? Ah good I dont have to think about it that long as the hold doesnt last long. Rhyno comes in and the fans arent that keen on him. Dinero is thrown to the floor and Ray drops an elbow while shouting that hes a bigger pimp than Pope. Ill leave that one up to you guys.
Naturally Ray misses his backsplash which is probably a good thing. I wouldnt want Pope pancakes. Hot tag to Morgan who cleans house, including making D-Von run away from a right hand/clothesline. Rapid fire elbows in the corner to Rhyno and a side slam gets two. Off to Hernandez who hits a slingshot double clothesline to everyone not named Bubba and/or Ray and/or Bully.
With everyone on the floor, Hernandez launches a HUGE dive over the top to take down everything in sight. How did they manage to screw this up? Back in the ring a top rope splash gets a LONG two on Rhyno. Whats Up is broken up by Pope and Morgan is back in again. He leaves just as quickly though and might have twisted his knee. I hope its a Hogan knee injury like at Mania 6 which is never heard from again about a minute later. Ray crotches Pope on the post, allowing D-Von to pop Hernandez with a chair. The Gore ends Supermex a second later.
Rating: C+. This was a longer match than it probably should have been but it really wasnt that bad at all. A good term for this would be acceptable. Its not a bad match at all but its nothing that was all that great. It was long enough to let everyone get in there and the big spots werent bad. Pretty good little match here and nothing to really complain about. And I had joke material so Im perfectly fine with it.
Lauren (still gorgeous) is with Scott Steiner and tells him that the match is now No DQ and falls count anywhere. Steiner says its on Lashleys wife, saying Lashley cant satisfy her so she went after Scott. Laurens reactions to this are great.
We recap the feud and its more or less what I just explained. This is kind of like Roberts vs. Rude which isnt a bad feud to draw from and its been over 20 years so I think its ok. Taz saying Steiner crossed the line made me chuckle. Shouldnt that be grounds for a raise?
Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner
I was right about the Rude/Roberts thing as Scott has Krystals face on his tights ala Ravishing Rick. Hey he has alliteration in his name too. This is rather interesting. The fight starts in the middle of the aisle with Lashley throwing him all over the place. Into the ring now with Lashley in full control. A clothesline and shoulder in the corner has Scott in trouble. Suplex gets two.
Spinebuster gets no cover as Bobby sets for a spear. Steiner gets a boot up but walks into a T-Bone suplex for a long two. Clothesline puts Steiner right back onto the floor. Scott FINALLY breaks the momentum with a pair of shots to the Little Boss. Make that three of them. That set of them gets two as maybe Krystal will like Scott more now. Chair goes across the back of Bobby for two.
Back in and the spinning belly to belly by Steiner gets two. Overhead belly to belly nearly breaks Bobbys neck as is Scotts custom. A third suplex gets two. Steiner does what he now calls the Frankensteiner but for some reason Bobby drops down to the bottom rope so it looked a bit awkward. That gets two. Steiner goes up but gets caught. Lashley drops him onto the top rope instead of slamming him down. Nice change of pace there I guess.
To the floor again and Lashley throws him into the table and pounds away. Chair to the back of Steiner and they go into the back where its really dark. Like Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 96 dark. Also we dont have a camera there. It does make it look a bit more realistic I guess though. Apparently the camera was off so Scott could blade as hes busted open now.
Lashley puts him through a table for two. He goes off and gets a 2x4, prompting the entire crowd to shout HO! Well theyre smart at least. Lashley charges into a well placed piece of wood. Taz asks why the wood was there and is promptly ignored. Scott chokes away with a cord and gets two off that. They fight back to what is apparently behind the set. Up to the Spanish Announce Table and Steiner rips the scaffolding apart. A piece of the pipe winds up going around the head of Lashley and were done. No idea what the point is of giving Steiner the win here but whatever.
Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here with both big monsters hammering away on each other pretty well. The ending doesnt work for the most part as it says monster MMA fighter loses to implied attempted rapist. Not a classic or anything but it wasnt supposed to be. Fine for what it was which Ive been trying to cut back on saying but it fits here.
Angle says Wolfe is trying to make a statement by taking out the biggest dog in the yard. Well now he has him. The whole I dont know you means nothing here because HES KURT ANGLE! Good response by Angle here: short and awesome.
We recap the Angle vs. Wolfe feud which is based on Wolfe debuting and wanting to meet Angle. The Jason Statham lookalike jumped Angle and has left him laying multiple times now. This was an awesomely built feud and thankfully the matches worked also.
Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle
They fight over a wristlock to start and the easily impressed fans chant this is wrestling. Modified crossface chickenwing by Wolfe and we hit the mat. After some arm work on the left, surprisingly enough Wolfe goes after the right arm. Thats a rare thing to say the least. Angle wakes up and snaps off a suplex. When all else fails, throw someone around. Or kick them in the face which is my preference.
Kurts shoulder goes into the post and Wolfe goes in like a shark. I think I got my animal metaphors crossed there. Lots of mat work on the arm follows with Kurt not being able to counter into an ankle lock. Wolfe plays to the crowd, Id assume due to rarely being in front of this many people, and gets caught in a belly to belly and some clotheslines/forearm from Kurt for two.
The American hits some Germans on the Englishman. Six in this case. Six Germans that is, not six Englishmen or six Americans. Angle Slam is countered into an arm drag and lariat for a close two. Tower of London misses so the Angle Slam gets its required two count. After the move that has won Angle world titles (I think) hits, Wolfe has an arm hold on maybe 15 seconds later. Now THAT is no-selling.
Ankle lock goes on but Wolfe counters into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock again but a rope is grabbed. The announcers talk about how Wolfe has scouted Angle and knows a counter to everything. I wonder how many tapes he watched to figure out that the counter to the ankle lock is to grab a rope? Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.
Tower of London (falling cutter off the top) gets two. Kurt gets a clothesline to break the momentum but the moonsault, say it with me, misses. A slick arm hold by Wolfe looks for the submission but Kurt backslides into a rope. They fight on the ropes and down goes Wolfe. FROG SPLASH by Kurt gets two. Ankle lock goes on for roughly the 20th time and Wolfe cant reverse. Off to a cross armbreaker attempt but Wolfe clasps his hands. Instead Angle shifts to a side triangle choke and Wolfe taps immediately.
Rating: B+. Solid stuff here, questionable selling aside. Its a nice change of pace to see guys get on the mat and work on each other with some psychology in there. Not as classic as its going to be made up to be as the ending came out of nowhere and the arm work more or less went nowhere, but still a very good match.
Joe talks about how he hasnt caused any trouble with AJ and Daniels but rather has just shown reality to everyone. It doesnt matter that there are two on the same page and one on the other as Joe is the one that has hurt them both before and will win tonight.
We recap the Unbreakable triple threat which I need to get to and the feud that sets up the match here. Daniels allegedly jumped AJ and left him laying. The guy would wind up being revealed as Tomko in the ultimate of a wasted opportunity. Daniels said AJ was arrogant and AJ apologized for thinking it was Daniels that jumped him, but not for being world champion. Joe jumped both of them because he could.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
After some big match intros were ready to go. We get the always annoying streamers thrown for each guy. Daniels gets the first shot in with a right hand to AJ. Joe needs to stick with the tights rather than the shorts. They dont work on him at all really. AJ gets the clothesline/forearm in the corner and hammers on Daniels a bit also. Joe takes over with his strikes and actually chops Styles in the back which is a new one.
Joe is sent to the floor and AJ gets that dropkick of his to put Daniels down. Headlock takeover by AJ and he adds a dropkick to keep Joe on the floor in a nice move. Joe back in now and he hammers Daniels down in the corner. With AJ down the submission guy actually does some submission stuff. What a novel concept. A suplex attempt on Joe finally works as AJ probably has a hernia now.
Indian Deathlock with a facelock ala Benoit by AJ to Joe. I love that move. Joe hits the floor and its back to AJ vs. Daniels with the Fallen Angel in control. We get our first dual submission as AJ is put in a Boston Crab and Joe in a camel clutch at the same time. Joe, apparently in need of a snack and thinking that the fingers are hot dogs, bites the hand of Daniels to get out of it. Love people staying in character like fat boy Joe here.
Rock Bottom out of the corner kills Daniels and AJ is taken down as well. Joe gets a dropkick to AJ and lands on Daniels, giving Joe complete control. And never mind as AJ takes him down on the floor and its back to the two guys that cant block out the sun. They shift positions and AJ gets a running shooting star press over the top to take out both guys. Cool move that he doesnt use that often anymore which is what makes it cool.
Joe and AJ slug it out in the ring and heres Daniels to make it a perfectly matches set. Poetry in Motion takes down Daniels and its a springboard rana to Daniels for two. The fans of course chant random things because thats what they think they exist for. Joe gets all powerbomb happy, getting two on AJ. Various submissions including an amplified Boston Crab, an STF and a crossface dont work either.
Daniels pops up again and gets a reverse DDT to Joe/Rock Bottom to AJ at the same time. Not bad there. Death Valley Driver gets two on AJ. AJ fights back with a neckbreaker for two as this is needing to get to another gear for the ending. Everyone back in now and they all slug it out. Pele puts Daniels down so were all on the mat. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and the springboard forearm gets two.
In a nice bit of psychology, AJ hits the backflip into the reverse DDT on Joe and tries it again on Daniels. Daniels counters his though and gets a Cross Rhodes (Last Rites) to AJ. Muscle Buster to Daniels as AJ saves again. Big spin kick puts Joe down but Daniels breaks up the Styles Clash. Daniels and AJ cant get each others finishers so they take Joe out instead.
AJ and Daniels high five each other and go at it. Joe pops up and chops AJ to the floor and its a BME to Joe. AJ pops up again and hits the springboard 450 to the back of Daniels (knees to the back have to hurt REALLY FREAKING BADLY) and steals the pin on Joe to set up AJ vs. Daniels the next month at Final Resolution.
Rating: A-. Taz calls it 15 stars and thats a bit of a stretch. Its still a very good match and great is probably a fair term. Its not the Unbreakable match but with that being the standard they were kind of hamstrung. Still its a great match with Joe being a bit less than what he was back in 2005. Good stuff though to say the least.
Overall Rating: B+. Very solid show here and a shining example of what TNA could be that could make people look at it and say thats an actual alternative to WWE. Instead were looking at Sting vs. Hogan probably which is something I think only Sting and Hogan fans want to see. Anyway, this was a great show with some very solid wrestling in there throughout. Its easy to watch too which helps it a lot. By that I mean it flies by, which is the sign of a good show. Check it out if you get the chance.
Date: November 15, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay
Back to Orlando for another show here, this time from just before Hogan and Bischoff arrived. AJ is champion here and the main event is against his old buddies in the form of Daniels and Joe. This is back in the period when the idea was AJ is awesome. Other than that there isnt much going on here but the focus is definitely more on wrestling than drama, and thats certainly a nice change of pace from todays product. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about change and how everything goes through it. This of course transitions into a video about Hogan and then into the three way main event. Joe wants to be the best in the world and Daniels wants to prove that hes as good as AJ. Also Desmond Wolfe has been jumping Angle so they have a match tonight.
X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Homicide
Red is champion here but Homicide has pinned him recently. Don West is with Red here. Oh and Homicide is in World Elite which I dont think is going to matter at the end of the day. Its still a six sided ring too which takes some time to adjust to again. Naturally things speed up quickly and they trade speed moves. Headscissors puts Homicide down but a clothesline turns Red inside out.
West is shouting LOUDLY, as in you can hear him and its not loud enough to be on a microphone. Red fights back and gets a seated clothesline for two. What can be described as a Swanton Bomb but falling (I think intentionally) misses and Homicide hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Homicide goes after West which gets him nowhere. The fans chant no me gusta (Spanish for I dont like you) at Homicide in a funny bit.
West playing cheerleader is a funny bit. The coaching hes giving sounds good too so its not as bad as it sounds. Homicide gets a palm shot ala Abdullah the Butcher and its off to a modified leg lock. Homicide lets it go and shouts to someone that we cant see. Red is sat up on the top and they slug it out a bit from there, resulting in Red sending him down. Arm drag off the top by Red which is a cool move I dont remember seeing before. By that I mean Red jumped and caught one in the air.
DDT gets two and this is a pretty fun opener. Loud hes amazing chant lasts about 3 seconds. This is the Crucial Crew I think and theyre getting very annoying. Red fires off some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip and a Michinoku Driver for two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) doesnt work as Red takes him down and gets a standing shooting star for two.
Moonsault press is mostly caught in a cutter for a long two. West is losing his mind on these kickouts. Hes a very energetic guy to say the least and hes having a good time out there. Homicides top rope rana is reversed into a sunset bomb off the top (called the Code Red. Red jumped down onto Homicide to hook it, making it look awesome) for the pin to retain. Sweet opener.
Rating: B. Good stuff here as the theory of fast paced high flying stuff is a great way to open the show. It worked fine here and West added a nice energy to this. I wouldnt want to see it every night (West I mean) but for a one off thing here its fine. This is the kind of stuff you dont see anymore in TNA: two guys getting ten minutes to go out there and have a fast paced and fun match. Sad too.
Taz and West run down the card. As in the one we already paid for. I dont get it either.
Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita
All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think Ill see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but its off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. Were less than a minute in and theyve all been in already.
Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.
Madison takes over and its off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey cant wrestle so were back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and its cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.
Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesnt get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.
Wolfe says this all started with a handshake and then drilled him, which proved his point. Tonight the Wolfe will devour every scrap that remains. He knows Angle really well but Angle knows nothing about Wolfe. School is in session tonight and in Wolfe 101, Angle loses. Good night this guy was awesome.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns
The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. Theyre heels and Beer Money are faces .I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but theyre faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and its off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.
They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roodes leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and its off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.
Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.
We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) cant connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!
Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe Im jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much its clear theyre going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, heres Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it .and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.
Rating: C-. Match wasnt bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didnt add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.
We recap Raven returning on Impact and throwing a fireball at Foley to join Dr. Stevie. Theyre not on the show tonight or anything. Were just wasting time here. Foley will be on Impact apparently.
Nash, holding the Global Title, says JB shouldnt use such foul language. This is between him and Hulk apparently. Oh dear. Apparently the explanation comes Thursday if Hulk says its ok.
We recap Tara vs. Kong in a cage. The idea is Tara doesnt back down from her and is debuting here. Ok then. Tara got in a good line saying she wont be locked in there with Kong but Kong will be locked in there with her.
Tara vs. Awesome Kong
This is when Tara wore those TINY shorts and a t-shirt to start which she would remove later. The shirt, not the shorts unfortunately. There goes the shirt as I wonder how in the world Playboy turned her down, which they did. Kong takes her straight into the corner to start and they slug it out. I love those holes in the cage that TNA uses for the cameras. Splash misses by Kong and the spinning backfist goes into the cage as well.
Tara goes after the hand, proving that shes hot as well as smart. She tries to escape but KONG SMASH, catching her in an electric chair. Kong goes up, only to get crotched. Im not sure if that hurts or not. You pick whether Im not sure due to a lack of gonads or an excess of fat. KONG GETS A MISSILE DROPKICK FOR TWO!!!! WOW. Kong drapes her up against the cage and rams into her back. Id make a ramming into Tara from behind joke but that might not be PG enough.
The fans all chant for Tara as I cant believe shes 38 here. All Kong at the moment as she tries for a suplex. The key word there being try though as Tara counters into a DDT. Tara hammers away and gets a superkick (see what I mean about it always being used) and a dropkick for two. They both stand on the top rope, facing the cage before falling and crotching themselves on the top.
They kick away at each other with Tara falling to the mat. You can win by the traditional three ways here if I didnt mention that. Tara tries the Widows Peak off the top but settles for a HUGE FREAKING POWERBOMB that only gets two. That totally should have been the finish right there. Instead Tara looks to climb out but comes back, hitting a cross body/Thesz Press to end it.
Rating: C. Pretty good match here and Taras awesome legs help it a lot, but I kind of wonder why this is in a cage other than for the ending bump. Its not terrible but at the same time this was nothing great for the most part. Tara was pretty clearly winning as it was her big debut. Not bad, but nothing particularly great at all. Also this isnt the traditional Broken theme song so its not as good.
Tara says shes coming after ODB who she would beat soon.
The announcers talk about Hogan a bit and we get a video about it. Oh joy. Nothing you couldnt guess would be in here.
Rhyno/Team 3D vs. DAngelo Dinero/Hernandez/Matt Morgan
The Dudleys have the Japanese tag titles as usual. Apparently Pope just added himself to his team. This was when Hernandez and Morgan had been awesome about a month before and then got stuck in a weak tag team which you could argue is a story still going on today. D-Von looks like he isnt sure if he wants chicken or beef. He and Hernandez start us off. The fans are chanting something and the crowd has kind of died here.
The opening is surprisingly slow as they seem like theyre not sure what they want to do. Shoulder block takes D-Von down and Pope tags himself in, doing something a bit heelish. A shoulder of his own gets two. Id hope it was of his own at least as it would be odd for him to use someone elses shoulder. Ray comes in and rips up some of the Dinero Bucks and gets taken down by a double leg takedown.
Ray takes over and its Flip Flop and Fly time. Why does Ray always want various men sucking on his penis? Pope comes back as these two have been in there WAY too long. Bubba Bomb puts Pope down and Ray poses a bit. Rhyno comes in for the first time and its off to Morgan. This is an interesting match for some reason that I cant quite place. Rhyno gets a shoulder into the ribs in the corner but walks into a discus lariat.
Everyone comes in and Team 3D hits a reverse 3D on Pope. Pope might have taken the bullet for Hernandez but its not entirely clear. D-Von and Pope are legal off that somehow and now its off to Rhyno. The heel team keeps up their fast tagging as Ray comes in to throw on a bearhug. That doesnt last long but Pope cant make the tag. Would it be a sin to keep the Pope from doing what he wants to do?
Back off to D-Von who gets a headbutt/splash for two. We hit the chinlock as Pope is in a good deal of trouble here. Is there such a thing as a bad deal of trouble? Ah good I dont have to think about it that long as the hold doesnt last long. Rhyno comes in and the fans arent that keen on him. Dinero is thrown to the floor and Ray drops an elbow while shouting that hes a bigger pimp than Pope. Ill leave that one up to you guys.
Naturally Ray misses his backsplash which is probably a good thing. I wouldnt want Pope pancakes. Hot tag to Morgan who cleans house, including making D-Von run away from a right hand/clothesline. Rapid fire elbows in the corner to Rhyno and a side slam gets two. Off to Hernandez who hits a slingshot double clothesline to everyone not named Bubba and/or Ray and/or Bully.
With everyone on the floor, Hernandez launches a HUGE dive over the top to take down everything in sight. How did they manage to screw this up? Back in the ring a top rope splash gets a LONG two on Rhyno. Whats Up is broken up by Pope and Morgan is back in again. He leaves just as quickly though and might have twisted his knee. I hope its a Hogan knee injury like at Mania 6 which is never heard from again about a minute later. Ray crotches Pope on the post, allowing D-Von to pop Hernandez with a chair. The Gore ends Supermex a second later.
Rating: C+. This was a longer match than it probably should have been but it really wasnt that bad at all. A good term for this would be acceptable. Its not a bad match at all but its nothing that was all that great. It was long enough to let everyone get in there and the big spots werent bad. Pretty good little match here and nothing to really complain about. And I had joke material so Im perfectly fine with it.
Lauren (still gorgeous) is with Scott Steiner and tells him that the match is now No DQ and falls count anywhere. Steiner says its on Lashleys wife, saying Lashley cant satisfy her so she went after Scott. Laurens reactions to this are great.
We recap the feud and its more or less what I just explained. This is kind of like Roberts vs. Rude which isnt a bad feud to draw from and its been over 20 years so I think its ok. Taz saying Steiner crossed the line made me chuckle. Shouldnt that be grounds for a raise?
Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner
I was right about the Rude/Roberts thing as Scott has Krystals face on his tights ala Ravishing Rick. Hey he has alliteration in his name too. This is rather interesting. The fight starts in the middle of the aisle with Lashley throwing him all over the place. Into the ring now with Lashley in full control. A clothesline and shoulder in the corner has Scott in trouble. Suplex gets two.
Spinebuster gets no cover as Bobby sets for a spear. Steiner gets a boot up but walks into a T-Bone suplex for a long two. Clothesline puts Steiner right back onto the floor. Scott FINALLY breaks the momentum with a pair of shots to the Little Boss. Make that three of them. That set of them gets two as maybe Krystal will like Scott more now. Chair goes across the back of Bobby for two.
Back in and the spinning belly to belly by Steiner gets two. Overhead belly to belly nearly breaks Bobbys neck as is Scotts custom. A third suplex gets two. Steiner does what he now calls the Frankensteiner but for some reason Bobby drops down to the bottom rope so it looked a bit awkward. That gets two. Steiner goes up but gets caught. Lashley drops him onto the top rope instead of slamming him down. Nice change of pace there I guess.
To the floor again and Lashley throws him into the table and pounds away. Chair to the back of Steiner and they go into the back where its really dark. Like Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 96 dark. Also we dont have a camera there. It does make it look a bit more realistic I guess though. Apparently the camera was off so Scott could blade as hes busted open now.
Lashley puts him through a table for two. He goes off and gets a 2x4, prompting the entire crowd to shout HO! Well theyre smart at least. Lashley charges into a well placed piece of wood. Taz asks why the wood was there and is promptly ignored. Scott chokes away with a cord and gets two off that. They fight back to what is apparently behind the set. Up to the Spanish Announce Table and Steiner rips the scaffolding apart. A piece of the pipe winds up going around the head of Lashley and were done. No idea what the point is of giving Steiner the win here but whatever.
Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here with both big monsters hammering away on each other pretty well. The ending doesnt work for the most part as it says monster MMA fighter loses to implied attempted rapist. Not a classic or anything but it wasnt supposed to be. Fine for what it was which Ive been trying to cut back on saying but it fits here.
Angle says Wolfe is trying to make a statement by taking out the biggest dog in the yard. Well now he has him. The whole I dont know you means nothing here because HES KURT ANGLE! Good response by Angle here: short and awesome.
We recap the Angle vs. Wolfe feud which is based on Wolfe debuting and wanting to meet Angle. The Jason Statham lookalike jumped Angle and has left him laying multiple times now. This was an awesomely built feud and thankfully the matches worked also.
Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle
They fight over a wristlock to start and the easily impressed fans chant this is wrestling. Modified crossface chickenwing by Wolfe and we hit the mat. After some arm work on the left, surprisingly enough Wolfe goes after the right arm. Thats a rare thing to say the least. Angle wakes up and snaps off a suplex. When all else fails, throw someone around. Or kick them in the face which is my preference.
Kurts shoulder goes into the post and Wolfe goes in like a shark. I think I got my animal metaphors crossed there. Lots of mat work on the arm follows with Kurt not being able to counter into an ankle lock. Wolfe plays to the crowd, Id assume due to rarely being in front of this many people, and gets caught in a belly to belly and some clotheslines/forearm from Kurt for two.
The American hits some Germans on the Englishman. Six in this case. Six Germans that is, not six Englishmen or six Americans. Angle Slam is countered into an arm drag and lariat for a close two. Tower of London misses so the Angle Slam gets its required two count. After the move that has won Angle world titles (I think) hits, Wolfe has an arm hold on maybe 15 seconds later. Now THAT is no-selling.
Ankle lock goes on but Wolfe counters into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock again but a rope is grabbed. The announcers talk about how Wolfe has scouted Angle and knows a counter to everything. I wonder how many tapes he watched to figure out that the counter to the ankle lock is to grab a rope? Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.
Tower of London (falling cutter off the top) gets two. Kurt gets a clothesline to break the momentum but the moonsault, say it with me, misses. A slick arm hold by Wolfe looks for the submission but Kurt backslides into a rope. They fight on the ropes and down goes Wolfe. FROG SPLASH by Kurt gets two. Ankle lock goes on for roughly the 20th time and Wolfe cant reverse. Off to a cross armbreaker attempt but Wolfe clasps his hands. Instead Angle shifts to a side triangle choke and Wolfe taps immediately.
Rating: B+. Solid stuff here, questionable selling aside. Its a nice change of pace to see guys get on the mat and work on each other with some psychology in there. Not as classic as its going to be made up to be as the ending came out of nowhere and the arm work more or less went nowhere, but still a very good match.
Joe talks about how he hasnt caused any trouble with AJ and Daniels but rather has just shown reality to everyone. It doesnt matter that there are two on the same page and one on the other as Joe is the one that has hurt them both before and will win tonight.
We recap the Unbreakable triple threat which I need to get to and the feud that sets up the match here. Daniels allegedly jumped AJ and left him laying. The guy would wind up being revealed as Tomko in the ultimate of a wasted opportunity. Daniels said AJ was arrogant and AJ apologized for thinking it was Daniels that jumped him, but not for being world champion. Joe jumped both of them because he could.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
After some big match intros were ready to go. We get the always annoying streamers thrown for each guy. Daniels gets the first shot in with a right hand to AJ. Joe needs to stick with the tights rather than the shorts. They dont work on him at all really. AJ gets the clothesline/forearm in the corner and hammers on Daniels a bit also. Joe takes over with his strikes and actually chops Styles in the back which is a new one.
Joe is sent to the floor and AJ gets that dropkick of his to put Daniels down. Headlock takeover by AJ and he adds a dropkick to keep Joe on the floor in a nice move. Joe back in now and he hammers Daniels down in the corner. With AJ down the submission guy actually does some submission stuff. What a novel concept. A suplex attempt on Joe finally works as AJ probably has a hernia now.
Indian Deathlock with a facelock ala Benoit by AJ to Joe. I love that move. Joe hits the floor and its back to AJ vs. Daniels with the Fallen Angel in control. We get our first dual submission as AJ is put in a Boston Crab and Joe in a camel clutch at the same time. Joe, apparently in need of a snack and thinking that the fingers are hot dogs, bites the hand of Daniels to get out of it. Love people staying in character like fat boy Joe here.
Rock Bottom out of the corner kills Daniels and AJ is taken down as well. Joe gets a dropkick to AJ and lands on Daniels, giving Joe complete control. And never mind as AJ takes him down on the floor and its back to the two guys that cant block out the sun. They shift positions and AJ gets a running shooting star press over the top to take out both guys. Cool move that he doesnt use that often anymore which is what makes it cool.
Joe and AJ slug it out in the ring and heres Daniels to make it a perfectly matches set. Poetry in Motion takes down Daniels and its a springboard rana to Daniels for two. The fans of course chant random things because thats what they think they exist for. Joe gets all powerbomb happy, getting two on AJ. Various submissions including an amplified Boston Crab, an STF and a crossface dont work either.
Daniels pops up again and gets a reverse DDT to Joe/Rock Bottom to AJ at the same time. Not bad there. Death Valley Driver gets two on AJ. AJ fights back with a neckbreaker for two as this is needing to get to another gear for the ending. Everyone back in now and they all slug it out. Pele puts Daniels down so were all on the mat. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and the springboard forearm gets two.
In a nice bit of psychology, AJ hits the backflip into the reverse DDT on Joe and tries it again on Daniels. Daniels counters his though and gets a Cross Rhodes (Last Rites) to AJ. Muscle Buster to Daniels as AJ saves again. Big spin kick puts Joe down but Daniels breaks up the Styles Clash. Daniels and AJ cant get each others finishers so they take Joe out instead.
AJ and Daniels high five each other and go at it. Joe pops up and chops AJ to the floor and its a BME to Joe. AJ pops up again and hits the springboard 450 to the back of Daniels (knees to the back have to hurt REALLY FREAKING BADLY) and steals the pin on Joe to set up AJ vs. Daniels the next month at Final Resolution.
Rating: A-. Taz calls it 15 stars and thats a bit of a stretch. Its still a very good match and great is probably a fair term. Its not the Unbreakable match but with that being the standard they were kind of hamstrung. Still its a great match with Joe being a bit less than what he was back in 2005. Good stuff though to say the least.
Overall Rating: B+. Very solid show here and a shining example of what TNA could be that could make people look at it and say thats an actual alternative to WWE. Instead were looking at Sting vs. Hogan probably which is something I think only Sting and Hogan fans want to see. Anyway, this was a great show with some very solid wrestling in there throughout. Its easy to watch too which helps it a lot. By that I mean it flies by, which is the sign of a good show. Check it out if you get the chance.