This is one Earthquake that you can't predict!

Discussion in 'Campaign Headquarters' started by enviousdominous, Mar 27, 2014.

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  1. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    [​IMG]

    A strong work ethic, stalwart discipline and a damn good heart. Sometimes the traits that make the man behind the pro-wrestler are what make that pro-wrestler a legend of his age.

    Pro-wrestling is a world where top stars can only maintain their reputation on their ability to overcome a viable threat to their place.

    No heel, in the history of pro-wrestling has a better track record than John Tenta.

    Anybody can flatter their bosses, bulk up a million dollar body and tell kids to take their vitamins. Those qualities make you a star in pro-wrestling. To compete in legitimate athletic competition outside of pro-wrestling, few competitions are nearly as extreme as the sport of Sumo Wrestling. For a Gaijin to enter a world proudly dominated by people of Polynesian ancestry, and absolutely dominate is unheard of.

    http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1986-07-06/sports/8602180446_1_sumo-japanese-canadian-embassy

    Let me put this into perspective for you. John Tenta wouldn't just beat his opponents in Sumo, he would beat his opponents up in Sumo. He earned the respect of the Japanese audience that once heckled him by showing them that he could easily throw the best of them out of that ring. He fought his way through 21 victories of legitimate competition and mainly bowed out because a higher level of rank would mean having to get new skin grafted over his tattoo.

    That's all well and good for getting your foot in the door. To be a somebody on tv you have to reach out to people. The Earthquake wasn't just another villain, he was a monster that could haunt your nightmares for weeks. He was never once pinned or submitted on PPV. Not by Hogan, Sting or anyone else. If you step into the ring with Earthquake, you're only squeaking away with a count-out victory or maybe having an advantage in an obscure gimmick match.

    Behind the masks, face paint and facade as the most evil human being in pro-wrestling history; John Tenta was one Hell of a man. A great man with a good heart defined what being a pro-wrestling villain should be. He was a big man, one of the biggest of all time, that would still pull off dropkicks with the best of them.

    I know that this one is a long-shot. I've only covered a small fraction of this man's accolades in hopes that some of you will share a few others. A teaspoon of faith can move mountains, I have faith that there are a few more John Tenta fans out there.
     
    #1
  2. Dan Severn's Moustache

    Dan Severn's Moustache Patent Pending

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    He's against Cena Round 1. Have fun.
     
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  3. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    Someone had to make this about Cena. Take a gander at what I wrote near the end of my post, how I realize that it's a long-shot. Two plus two buddy.

    Yeah, I didn't just throw this out there in hopes that he was taking on Sin Cara. I knew who he was up against.

    You've got Double D throwing rep around to get more people on the Cena band-wagon who truly don't give a flying fuck either way, great mod that guy. You've got half the damn website going through a phase where they feel like it's their duty as pro-wrestling fans with influence that doesn't go beyond this website to combat a consensus that Cena is a shit performer.

    I know full well that singing the praises of John Tenta against a jack-ass like John Cena is a losing battle in that more people will obviously only relate to one of those individuals.

    Let it be known that while I recognize that I'm probably not going to get anyone on board, I'm also not going to let nobody speak of the man that John Tenta used to be. It's really cute that a dork like Cena can get universal appeal in a dark corner of the internet that thinks that it knows its shit based on a group-think mentality, if I can get at least one person on this website to recognize that John Tenta was a performer worthy of mention then I feel like I've done something worthwhile.
     
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  4. Con T.

    Con T. Yaz ain't enough, I need Fluttershy

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    If this is the bitchfit of an "I Hate Cena" thread we get in the campaign thread, imagine what we get when Earthquake doesn't get one god damned vote against Cena.

    You may have swayed me to backing Cena all tournament. Congrats.
     
    #4
  5. Dan Severn's Moustache

    Dan Severn's Moustache Patent Pending

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    Is that the way the children say it these days?
     
    #5
  6. Bernkastel

    Bernkastel Reaper of Miracles
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    There are plenty of John Tenta fans on this site, me included. In fact the poster "Tenta" is basically a living shrine to the man. If this tournament were based on popular vote then I'd be tempted. While I like Cena I also really like Earthquake. But that's not what the tournament is about. It's about finding the best wrestler of all time. And no matter how you look at it Cena is just better than Quake objectively. And because of that favoritism has to take a back seat.

    If he had drawn some talentless fuck like Swagger, Christian, or John Morrison then I'd be all for it.
     
    #6
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  7. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    Well, congratulations yourself there duder. Your Cena lust is the only means of disparaging the reputation of John Tenta.

    Do you have anything to say about John Tenta?
     
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  8. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    Why, are you trying to pick up some children?

    Yeah, umm. Obviously I'm outgunned here if using baseless bullshit as an excuse for an argument is going to be the basis for making any kind of response on this thread. Take a bow buckaroo.

    Do you have anything to say about John Tenta?
     
    #8
  9. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    Can we do something special for this website? Everytime someone strays away from the point of conversation if only to set up a straw man argument, we just make this picture the new Wrestlezone logo:

    [​IMG]

    You're going in every direction except recognizing John Tenta's accomplishments and weighing them against John Cena's.

    What is this tournament about? This tournament is about who can wax the most compelling case for their favorite performer, because dammit it all we have the free-time so why the fuck not. This isn't an arbitration court where after being chided by Judge Judy she shouts "JUDGEMENT FOR JOHN CENA!!" We're literally trying to coax people to agree with our bargain, because that's fun to do sometimes.

    No matter how I personally look at it, Cena is better than Earthquake? I could be observing it from all possible angles and every one would force me to admit the inevitable conclusion that Cena is better than Earthquake? Shit, you should write my auto-biography.

    Here's an idea, and please tell me if this isn't the most fucking stupid idea you've ever heard. Take a concept like your personal opinion that Earthquake doesn't size up against Cena, and turn it into a thoughtful criticism of Earthquake. You like Earthquake, I like Earthquake, we all scream for Earthquake. Don't just repeat some kind of indoctrinated fluff that Cena is inevitably better in every way, prove it with an explanation so we can get back on track.
     
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  10. Rainbow Yaz

    Rainbow Yaz Sing about me, I'm dying of thirst
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    This got weird fast
     
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  11. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    How ironic. What did it for you little talking pony?

    Oh and, do you have anything to say about John Tenta. Positive, negative, I'm open to any ideas that even someone like you might share. I don't mean to take up too much of your free-time, so please understand that I greatly appreciate anything you can share that's on topic.
     
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  12. Rainbow Yaz

    Rainbow Yaz Sing about me, I'm dying of thirst
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    It's very rude to make fun of other people's interests. Love and tolerate bro.

    So as to not rustle your butt jimmies further, yeah I can speak on John Tenta. Its unfortunate he died so soon because he has an accomplished sumo wrestler and for a short time an unstoppable monster heel. He was then fed to Hogan. He is exactly the type of guy that Cena would beat today. Remember the Mark Henry fake retirement and subsequent feud? Probably go a lot like that.

    And let's not pretend he was above criticism. He once cooked Jake Robert's dead snake and fed it to Vince and Heenan, and ended his career as a member of the Oddities.

    I don't even like Cena, but Tenta is a mere ripple in the wrestling world.
     
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  13. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    I'm being lectured on social etiquette by someone who sports a playfully racist interpretation of Neil deGrasse Tyson. I didn't make fun of your interests, I was noting how someone who seems to wear the term "weird" like a badge of honor was making what seemed like a serious attempt to criticize the status of this thread as being abnormal. If your interest is in failing to stay on track even though your mind practically runs on one rail, then I apologize for exploiting that in a way that doesn't involve a compelling interest.

    Oh, please lay off my butt jimmies. This website is always "butt jimmies" this and "butt jimmies" that. It's a fucking butt jimmies palooza over here. FINALLY!! Someone with the decency to just lay off my butt jimmies and give them a much deserved rest. THANK GOD!



    I'm getting a serious statement out of you?! If there was ever a need for a "HOLY SHIT!" chant, this beats crashing through three flaming tables in a heartbeat. Of all the people on this website, the internet incarnate of Rainbow Yaz is ignoring the lure of "You're a stupid head!" insults and is making headway into the frightening world of serious debate. I'm not saying any of this with an ounce of sarcasm or ridicule, your effort alone is universally commendable. I'm glowing right now because someone on this website intends to prove me wrong with actual conclusive thought, even if I lose this debate I'm happy.

    I beg to differ on the notion that Earthquake was "fed" to Hogan. Indeed, both men gave each other the rub. History, and our nostalgic warping of that history, will recognize that a monster called Earthquake challenged Hogan and failed to end Hulkamania like so many other villains before him. How did he fail at doing that? He was counted out in his match with Hogan unlike Bundy, Slaughter or Kevin Sullivan who all lost more decisively. The only person I'd put on par with Earthquake in terms of his ability to survive a Hogan onslaught would be Roddy Piper. I realize that it's silly to argue semantics, either way I admit that it would have been silly for Earthquake to ever pin someone of Hogan's caliber.

    Here's the thing about John Cena. He's not someone of Hogan's caliber either, maybe he'll be that someday but the dude has had to take a backseat to other stars because his program was getting redundant in a negative way. Hogan did the job for Warrior because he respected him and because he was going to get the belt back anyway; while it can be argued that Hogan's style was no less redundant (or possibly more-so) than John Cena, Hogan never lost the crowd to the degree that John Cena has.

    Who were the fans cheering for when John Cena took on Luke Harper last RAW? Do you think it would be a stretch to imagine that the fans would pop huge if Earthquake stomped to the ring to challenge John Cena? I realize that I'm not trying to convince them, I'm trying to convince the forum of this website.

    It would probably go like the Mark Henry fake retirement? Wow, you're so abrasive toward WWE creative and yet before you were calling me rude for supposedly joshing in regard to your interests. I'm not going to bore you with my ideas for what would work for Earthquake in a feud with John Cena, I imagine you're bored enough at this point. It would be the return of an under-appreciated star and the pop would be that of when Diesel was a surprise Rumble entrant, the fans were booing Rey Mysterio when that happened.

    If you were in that crowd, you'd pop for every one of his spots against Cena as well. Needless to say, Earthquake is the underdog in this fight. In the fairy tale world that pro-wrestling continuity is dictated by, the underdog has a better chance of pulling off a victory.

    You know what? No joke, it broke my heart when he supposedly killed Damien. I absolutely HATED him for that, and that's what you do to build interest for your match. I'm not going to negatively criticize him for being a great heel in an age where that kind of program was relevant. Earthquake would go into the match as the class act that he is, so even though the crowd would pop for him he would go out of his way to make Cena look like the good guy. If history has anything to show for it, he'll do a damn good playing a heel that warrants an emotional reaction.

    Yes, he was a member of the Oddities. Performers are often relegated to lower roles if they return after selling tickets for a competitor. He wasn't on the main card, he was lucky if he made the mid-card. Was that because Earthquake was less of a performer? Absolutely not, that was because the WWE felt that they already had a good enough mix of faces and heels to keep the crowd coming back. He was part of a foolish endeavor to market the ICP, but he was willing to become whatever gimmick they needed him to be if only to entertain the fans. People loved him as Earthquake, and people loved him as Golga.

    I try not to mention people if only to recognize that I just don't like them without providing an explanation, it helps the topic of John Tenta remain in focus.

    Let's try something. From now on, how about we don't recognize our tiny bubbles of perspective in regard to the wrestling world as the actual wrestling world. If you watched wrestling when I watched wrestling, and if you were exposed to as much of it as I was, then maybe you'd have recognized John Tenta's contributions as more than just a mere ripple.

    The man has proven that he can draw ANYWHERE he goes. Big men don't get very far if all they can do is a splash and a sloppy belly to belly suplex. John Tenta raised the bar for big men and he raised the bar for western performers of all sizes in Japan. Pro-wrestling or legitimate sport, John Tenta showed them that a quiet guy who was raised in Canada and trained in Louisiana can stomp the best of them into a state of discipline.

    John Tenta passing was unfortunate, I met him when he had cancer the first time and there wasn't one day that he let depression compromise his mood. He confirmed what everyone else had told me, that John Tenta was a great person and an absolute joy for anyone to share an experience with. For that matter, it should be mentioned that he didn't actually kill a living thing on tv.

    Why do I think he can beat Cena?

    John Tenta did something that Cena can never do, and that every wise entertainer dreams of being able to do. He left the crowd wanting more, he left the ring when we weren't done being entertained by him. He'll be remembered for great moments, because every moment involving him was a great moment.

    John Cena has been the same guy, doing the same thing for the last ten years. Fans aren't just hungry to see him lose, they're hungry to see him get destroyed. If John Cena retires today, he won't leave a sense of longing in anyone, not even his fans.
     
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  14. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    Tussle. Novelty. Neglect.
     
    #14
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  15. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    Mantra of a man that only Stephanie McMahon could truly love.

    Let's change gears here for a minute. For every John Tenta vote, I'll give you $40 DOLLARS! The payment will have to wait until I can hack into Dagger's Target account, but it's coming.
     
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  16. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    Will seriously have to reconsider, now... $40 is roughly R424. That, in turn, equals about 29 Castle Lagers...
     
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  17. Dan Severn's Moustache

    Dan Severn's Moustache Patent Pending

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    With the WoZ Scarecrow image you posted, it got me thinking.

    Could Cena beat DC Scarecrow?
     
    #17
  18. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    The best part; it'll be in Dagger Dias fun-bucks. They might not buy you too many Castle Lagers, but I'm sure that they're honored at your local Starbucks.
     
    #18
  19. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    I got you thinking?! You and Rainbow Yaz. Holy fuck Batman, I made two miracles happen in one day. One more and Vatican City will make me a saint. It'd be WoO by the way, WoZ makes it look like he guards crops for Steve Wozniak. If it was a Freudian slip regarding my associating him with common styles of argument on Wrestlezone, the inception has begun.

    I imagine it could be like putting John Cena against Earthquake, Cena would be having to engage an opponent who'd be inevitably more over with the crowd. I imagine that Scarecrow would win also as once the fear gas reached the mishapen bucket that is Cena's head, and a few minutes passed for his brain to react to the otherwise immediate chemical stimulation, he'd just see CM Punk standing there and pass out from terror.
     
    #19
  20. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    If it's not beer, it's not worth raiding my beloved Dagger's account.

    If they sell "special" beverages at Starbucks, I'm totally in, though.
     
    #20
  21. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    Okay, now you're just being silly. I never meant to imply that your beloved Dagger's account would buy beverages from Starbucks, I don't know where you would get that idea from.

    Dagger Dollars buy "special" services from Starbucks, not beverages. Before I continue, shall we sing the Dagger Dias loyalty song?
     
    #21
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  22. Con T.

    Con T. Yaz ain't enough, I need Fluttershy

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    I have something to say about John Tenta.

    He shouldn't get one vote against John Cena. And that isn't an insult. Being in the tournament means enough.
     
    #22
  23. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    Is this tournament sanctioned by a more important entity than CraveOnline? Do they even give a shit about this?

    I'll get on the horn right now and let John Tenta's relatives know that he's been "honored" with a placing in an obscure pro-wrestling website's even more obscure message board's greatest ever tournament bracket.

    How about this, since you seem to really want to prove that your opinions are substantiated with undeniable meaning: Explain which of your expectations John Tenta fails to meet in regard to recognizing him as a viable challenge to Cena. Go into fine detail, put it out there that your opinion deserves to be as concise as it was because I'm one of the few on this site that doesn't immediately recognize your username and assume that everything you say is credible.
     
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  24. Con T.

    Con T. Yaz ain't enough, I need Fluttershy

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    John Cena is one of the top draws in the history of wrestling.

    Earthquake was, like, Hogan's tenth or eleventh best opponent.

    If you need excessive detail as to why Earthquake loses, I'm not sure what to tell you.
     
    #24
  25. enviousdominous

    enviousdominous Behold my diction

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    You want to make that the crux of your argument? Okay, you expect performers to draw big numbers. Is there an exact number that John Cena surpassed and John Tenta failed to meet? I'm not arguing that Cena isn't a top draw, I'm arguing that being a top draw means having exceptionally talented individuals keep you there. If John Cena's current rapport with the crowd is any example, then his opponents have failed at their jobs.

    Alright, we're ranking Hogan's opponents from best to worst. You wanted to make that into your argument, so I'll let you do the honors by compiling the first list. Whether or not Earthquake ranks as his best opponent is a matter of opinion, you worded your sentence as though your stated opinion is a matter of fact.

    I don't need excessive detail, I'd appreciate more carefully worded thoughts than you've given me so far. I'm not sure what you can possibly tell me if you think the assertions you've made contained a fair amount of detail for the claims that you're making. If you take the time to humor me, I'll appreciate the effort either way.
     
    #25
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