The John Tenta Memorial Invitation, Round 1: Big Dick Johnson VS. Nailz

[Tenta]

The John Tenta Memorial Invitational​

The following match is take place in the first round of the John Tenta Memorial Invitational, to crown the worst gimmick in the history of professional wrestling. It takes part in the Katie Vick Region, and at The TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, Massachusetts

VS.

Big Dick Johnson VS. Nailz​

The match will be contested in a standard, one fall match, with no time limit. A wrestler can win the match by pinfall, submission, countout, or disqualification. Much like the Annual Wrestlezone Tournament, there's no se way in which one needs to vote for the match. This can be done either by kayfabe, or by non kayfabe. Either way, pick a winner to advance to the second round.



Voting Ends By Saturday, July 10th

 

[The Holy One]

Had to go with Big Dick Johnson here. There is nothing better to drive your audience away then showing a fat man in a thong squirting baby oil on himself while grinding on men and women alike.

 

[The Brain]

Nailz may have been a bad gimmick, but he wasn't that bad. He's an ex con who feuded with a former prision guard. At least it was a logical feud. Nailz came in, feuded with Bossman, and was gone in six months. No harm done. I actually wanted to see Nailz vs Bossman in 1992. I don't think anyone wanted to see Johnson ever. He's not even a wrestler or associated with any wrestlers. He just made random appearances to....I have no idea why he was ever on tv. In my opinion Johnson is a far worse gimmick so he should move on.

 

[Rulk25]

BDJ
He manages to turn a picture of a drop dead gorgeous lingerie clad diva into acid for the eyeballs. I think Vince must have got angry as the writer ands forced him to do this for his job

 

[The Doctor]

In kayfabe, Nailz would ******* Big Dick Johnson and win via DQ.

In complete seriousness, the worse gimmick is easily Big Dick Johnson. As Brain said, Nailz being an ex-con and feuding with Bossman made sense. It was a cartoony storyline, but it had some logic to it. Big Dick Johnson on the other hand has no reason to even exist. He's only used in "comedy" segments (Admittedly, the Miz lapdance one was pretty good) and isn't even a wrestler. He has no place on a program, at all. No one wants to see a fat guy jump around in his underwear, and it's got to be embarrassing for the writer who is doing this to himself. He'd better be getting paid well.

Yeah, Big Dick Johnson FTL.

 

[Theo Mays]

The Nailz gimmick, while it wasn't great, it made a whole lot of sense. He feuded with a police officer and he was that of a convict. I'm not even sure Nailz did anything after he was done with Bossman. Big Dick Johnson on the other hand is annoying and rather disturbing to look it. His gimmick is that of a freaking stripper and its not an appealing one (though Layla is looking good in the OP pic). Gotta go with BDJ here by far.

 

[JJ15776]

Nailz was awesome back in the day. His storyline made sense, and it was actually a GOOD storyline at the time. I remember being really excited about the possible Nailz vs. Undertaker fued. Of course, his departure from the WWE is one of the stranger stories out there, but that doesn't change what he did on screen. Then again, I liked Ludvig Borga too, so what do I know.

Like everybody else has said, nobody wants to see Big Dick Johnson. It's just not a funny or good or entertaning gimmick, or anything that should ever be televised anywhere ever. I don't know who keeps writing him into segments, but they need to be fired. IMO, he's the early favorite to win this sumbitch.

 

[It's Damn Real!]

Nailz' character had an obvious expiration date on it, which was it's biggest flaw, but logically speaking his character made sense seeing as he was an ex-con (playing one) who feuded with a kayfabe prison guard.

Big Dick Johnson, on the other hand, was nothing short of disturbing. Homoeroticism at it's best. In the male-dominated world of pro-wrestling, I don't think you could count on one hand the number of people who honestly wanted to see an overweight man in a thong dance while squirting baby oil all over himself.

BDJ wins by a mile here.

 

[Pay Per Ghost]

oh good GOD!!
Couldn't we just have said Big Dick Johnson, but not had a pic of his!!!!

He was just plain irritating and just for the sake of his absence I like the PG rating
So yes Big Dick Johnson, worst here and maybe a dark horse to win the whole tournament.

 

[Davekdc0064]

I think I'll stick with my kayfabe match voting here. I'm going with Nailz because he would demolish BDJ. Also I never want to see that picture again LOL.

 

[Wolfdemon]

Never really watched that old school of wrestling but I went back and watched a few promos for the sake of this. The gimmick did seem to do its due in this feud but nonetheless is was pretty bad. Big Dick never wrestled a match at all from what i've seen atleast. I have to go with BDJ on this one because every time he appears its just a facepalm waiting to happen.

 

[Ferbian]

Big Dick Johnson has always served as a comedy act. Mostly around D-Generation X and he wasn't taken serious in any kind of way. The only thing he's good for is being entertaining.

Nailz on the other hand left the world in shock with his debut. When he went berserk on Big Bossman and handcuffed him to the ring. It was a shocking moment for the wrestling industry because I would assume it was around the time people believed in the kayfabe things.

Nailz on a kayfabe manner would rip Big Dick Johnson apart. But Big Dick Johnson is the worst of the gimmicks without the shadow of a doubt. So seeing as this is not a fight to the best of the two. It's a fight of the worst of the gimmicks. And Big Dick Johnson is the worst.

 

[Remix]

Nailz is an ex-con. BDJ carries around baby oil. Someone's getting sodomised.

BDJ wasn't so much a gimmick as a repulsive fat man with no sence of shame. For this reason, Nailz passes through as his gimmick is worse. Because he had one.

 

[dd23beatlesfan1]

Well I read that the point of this tournament was to crown the worst gimmick of all-time.

Nailz, IMO, wasn't a bad gimmick at all. As everyone pointed out, it was a logical character with a purpose (destroying the Big Boss Man). Now it was somewhat of a limited gimmick to a degree, but that doesn't mean it was a terrible gimmick. The guy that played the character (can't remember his name) did a damn fine job of playing the character. He looked like a scary psychopath you wouldn't want to meet in an alley or a jail cell. If you go back and watch those beating he did on the Bossman, those were some pretty brutal segments. I didn't find them hokey at all, especially as a kid. He kind of scared me. Even watching him now, he still kind of scares me. That's pretty darn good I'd say.

Big Dick Johnson on the other hand, is a waste of space, big time. Now granted he's not that important thankfully and he hasn't horribly ruined shows as he usually only makes brief appearances here and there. At least they didn't do something stupid with him and make him a champion or something in a fluke match.

And his gimmick had been done before (anyone remember Naked Mideon?), so while it's a horrible gimmick and one I don't really wanna watch per se, I also wouldn't say it's the worst gimmick ever. The sad part is the character is somewhat realistic. You ever go to a party, there's always a fat guy who has no shame and embarasses himself to make everyone laugh. Big Dick Johnson happens to be that guy for the WWE.

So while it's a sucky gimmick, at least WWE doesn't try to make the character out to be something serious. It's just silly dumb entertainment. No harm really (other than on the eyes).

But would I rather watch Big Dick Johnson rub oil on himself and dance for people, or watch Nailz kick some ass. I'd rather watch Nailz kick some ass.

So beings we're going with worst gimmick, then yep it goes to Big Dick Johnson.


By the way Tenta, can you help me out here? Is there a thread that details the rules and points of the tournament, like a "headquarters" type thread? A post that lists the participants of the tournament and the match breakdowns and stuff? Cause I couldn't find it in your John Tenta Memorial for Bad Gimmicks thread, or anywhere else on the boards.

 

[Judah's Lion]

some obvious and great observations already made here...

Nailz, though a limited gimmick, was a good and believable one, especially during his timeframe of wrestling. the ex-con feuding with an ex-prison guard. totally plausible.

Naked Mideon and Big Dick Johnson, though shameless and entertaining, are disturbing and multiple levels.

gotta go with Big Dick Johnson as the winner of "worst gimmick" in this match as Nailz would cuff him and pound him and lose by DQ.

 

[Mr_billy]

Big Dick Johnson was funny. I cracked up every time he came out, and it was almost always unexpected. The look on the other peoples faces was worth seeing him in a speedo or thong.

 

[King Blitzkonic]

Nailz had that psychotic ex-con gimmick (very similar to Abyss as a heel and seems to be the direction Eli Cottonwood's headed) that got the heat for beating down the big bossman.

BDJ on the other hand just dances around covered in baby oil. So yeah, that heat is the "We don't want to see you" heat.

My winner: BDJ by countout. Nailz rolls out the ring blinded after a baby oil shot to the eyes behind the ref's back.

 

[Tenta]

You know, this was actually a toss up for me, and I wasn't sure who I was taking in this match. Both of these gimmicks are absolutely awful, and there's no way of getting around that. People say that Nailz was only meant to play this role, but that's simply not true. As a matter of fact, after his match with Nailz, there was heavily invested feud between Nailz and Undertaker feud, so it was more than just a one off feud with The Big Bossman.

No... What swayed it for me was this performance.

[YOUTUBE]WlLsB1je0dM[/YOUTUBE]​

This is easily the worst performance in the history of professional wrestling. We're talking about a company in which had David Arquette and Vince Russo were World Champions, and this was the worst performance by a wrestler in the company. And let's not get into semantics... This is, in fact, the exact same gimmick.

Nailz, or The Prisoner, moves on in this match. Big Dick Johnson was annoying. Nailz was just all around bad.

 

[Poop Master Flex]

Gotta go with the majority of the posters and choose Big Dick Johnson. Nailz really wasn't that terrible and probably would of been around longer if Mr. Magnificent didn't threaten Vince (because I heard that they were going to have him feud with the Undertaker next). BDJ on the other hand was just plain annoying, seeing that guy once was too much and I saw that guy alot more than I ever wanted to, frankly I wanted to destroy my TV everytime he was on it (and he wasn't supposed to be a heel). The last thing I need to see is a fat guy in a thong rubbing oil all over himself.