The DugOut: Smarking out WZCW since 1993

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

Hey mouth breathers of the world out there! As always with your weekly smark update, it's Bellamy the Disco Spider here with your weekly smark update on the going ons of the biggest e-fed out there, WZCW. Now, we are about to come upon the Second annual Kingdom Come PPV. this is the be all and end all of WZCW, and I for one am going to be in the front row with my eyes peeled to see who is walking away a winner. I do however have a bones to pick with management in WZCW, and what would Bellamy the Disco Spider be if he didn't voice these to all the mouth breathers that follow The DugOut?

Batter Up then! Let's get to out first pitch!

Strike 1: What happened to Trevor Steel?

Was it not only a month or two ago that Trevor Steel was THE hottest commodity in E-Wrestling? After coming so close in a Fatal Fourway for the title, the Disco Spider was sure that Steel was well on the road towards championship gold. What happened? Whispers are going around the locker room about his supposed shabby dress attire to WZCW company functions such as the annual WZCW Pre Lethal Lottery Square Dancing Gala.

Now Steel has been thrown into the Mayhem Championship Scramble, and whilst he is certainly in a title picture, a lot of the fans are wondering what happened? Listen to your fans Bateman! You too Myles! Is anyone else getting sick of this "Audience of two"?

Strike 2: Teach 'n' Kurtesy 'n' Lazy

When Second Coming and the Full House Daves were battling over the Tag Team Titles (including a serious MOTY candidate at All or Nothing), we all rejoiced. "Finally, the Tag Team Division is back on its feet". We all praised Second Coming, two of the best tag wrestlers in the business and finally the people champions. and then, just like that, Management put the belts on Teach 'n' Kurtesy. We were wary, but we decided, "hey, it's interesting, its different. These rookies show some promise, let's give em a chance"

I'll admit, I've never personally been a big fan of Kurtesy or Teach. They were fresh and pretty good during their debut, but its seems like they've been phoning it in for a while now. If theres one thing Bellamy the Disco Spider can't stand, its laziness, and I think these two were epitomizing it for a while there. This triple threat match should be great on Sunday however, judging from the calibre of talent in the ring. Teach 'n' Kurtesy can go when they want to turn up, and Second Coming are always golden. Heavy Artillery really need to show what they're made of for the big dance, so I can't wait to see what will happen.

Strike 3 and you're out: Titus vs Everest

I can't be the only one in love with Everest title run so far. This guy has just been so dominant and has been built up as THE guy to beat. I actually have been rooting for Everest secretly while Mrs. Disco Spider wasn't watching, and his talent is absolutely phenomenal. I know he will bring it this Sunday, and we could see a serious MOTY contender, so watch for that one basement dwellers!

Then you have Titus. This guy has to be one of the most over guys on the planet, and you would think that this guy was born in a manger and had three wise guys turn up to cut the umbilical cord. I honestly hear more cheering for this guy than I thought possible, and he's genuinely one of the most talented men on the roster. I thought it strange that Management went for the WHC title match instead of the showdown with rWo, but all in due time, all in due time. I would not be sad at all if this was the guy to end the reign of Everest.

Thats all for now Mouth Breathers, but don't worry. Bellamy the Disco Spider will be back next week with all the fallout from Kingdom come as well as his thoughts on the state of the Elite X division and the term coined by some forum members, "WZCW Stockbuyers".

Dancing his way into Wrestling Heaven,
Bellamy the Disco Spider
​

 

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

Hey mouth breathers of the world out there! As always with your weekly smark update, it's Bellamy the Disco Spider here with your weekly smark update on the going ons of the biggest e-fed out there, WZCW. Now, I gotta say I am very sorry for the long space in between updates, my fellow cretins. Seems ole Bellamy is deeper in the doghouse than CardiffCam these days. The way I see it is, if Mrs. Disco Spider's Mother-In-Law's funeral had been held the day AFTER Meltdown, everything would have been fine and dandy. But now she's kicked up a big stink. She knew the commitment she was making when I moved my stuff into her condo, am I right fellas?

Anyways, on with the show, and as the pitcher heads to the mound, I can't help but ask:

Strike 1: Karnage as Champion: Will it Work?

There ain't no doubt it this boogie-oogie arachnid's mind that Criminal Ernesto Karnage the Third is one of the best monsters going around since god knows when. But how is he going to fair when he has a few ounces of gold around his waist? Karnage has certainly been around, and I remember his debut on Meltdown 23, which seems an age ago. After his tussle with Blade, which I rate as an absolute stunner of a feud, perhaps even 18.5 Disco Balls, he needed direction. Whether his new persona and now his title run is the right way to go, I'm not quite sure. but you know what? It's about time he got to wear something around his waist.

As I said, his feud with Blade was stellar, and since then he has firmly established himself as a leader of the locker room, and has been quoted as saying "I'm the big Cat, and you're in my litterbox". Karnage is always giving entertainment to the fans and always giving help to rookies. With the title belt, I think we can safely say that both in front of cameras and when he soaps up in the showers with Big Dave, he is a giver.

Strike 2: Teach 'n' Kurtesy 'n' No Show

I found out recently that one half of the FORMER Tag Team Champions no showed a couple of house shows recently. I dound this absolutely outrageous and disgusting. I am always plonked down in front of my TV, every night watching wrestling. I haven't missed a Meltdown showing in years, and even watched as I lay prone in hospital after several moped accidents, my catheter only coming loose once during a particularly rousing pyro display.

If I can show that sort of commitment, then why can't Teach turn up and wrestle a few matches? Laziness, my fellow Smarky Smarks, Laziness. Thats why. I would think if he missed a couple more matches like that, he'd be released faster than you can say "Hunter S. Kravinoff". In fact, a damn sight faster.

Strike 3 and you're out: They turned Ricky face again?!

Are you kidding me Myles? Honestly? The fans had been begging for that heel turn since 1998 and the infamous "Bulgarian Blindfold Deathmatch" Incident. Ricky was stale, he was old news and he NEEDED the rWo. Think it's just me? I went onto the forums on WZCW.com myself and found that one of their highly respected admins had written this:

Wutt the fark? ricky is stale as and if he kept going as heel he could have got some good fueds like him and lars reidar versus heavy artillery or something good. He only knows 5 moves and wasnt gud since his otherr gimmick. this is shit, f*rk ricky f*rk WZCW.

I mean, I've read some of these guys other pieces, and every one is as succinct and moving as this. He's absolutely right. Maybe its the mountain dew sugar rush going through me or my IBS medication's buzz, but I cannot settle my rage down after this heinous act, basement dwellers, and you shouldn't put up with it either. Let it be known, I am starting a petition and will change the channel everytime I see a face Ricky on my Television, and I implore you to join me in this fight against the Audience of Two. Bateman and Myles must be getting senile.

Thats all for now Mouth Breathers, but don't worry. Bellamy the Disco Spider will be back next week with exclusive pictures of extensive botox scars under Killjoy's mask and rumours of a Titus sleeping his way into Championship gold. With his daughters's boss no less!

Dancing his way into Wrestling Heaven,
Bellamy the Disco Spider​