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Superbrawl 2000
Date: February 20, 2000
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 8,569
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Mike Tenay
This is the final WCW 2000 PPV I have to do so after it we'll be going to the other end of the spectrum for some of the first ever PPVs in WCW that I haven't done yet. The main event is a three way with Sid vs. Jarrett vs. Hall and it should be really interesting to see the comparison between what we were getting under the Bischoff/Russo regime and this one which is under Kevin Sullivan and I think Kevin Nash's booking. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about the old guys, in the forms of Flair vs. Funk and Hogan vs. Luger. There's a world title match also but it's not that important. Oh I forgot the NWO was around at this point too. Whatever. This is also the first PPV in the post-Radicalz era so the midcard should be really interesting.
Nash is commissioner at this point but is injured. Gene tries to talk to him but the Nitro Girls and Jarrett plus the Harris Boys come out, saying that Nash isn't going to be here tonight. Jeff says he's the acting commissioner and the Harris Boys will be here tonight.
Let's run down that card that we've already paid for and we already listed in the opening video! They waste like five minutes doing the whole thing, leaving nothing out at all.
We recap Oklahoma, a fat man impersonating JR, vacating the title and the tournament that followed. I mean we go over all six matches we've gotten already.
We're over ten minutes into this show and the first entrance is just starting now.
Cruiserweight Title: TAFKAPI vs. Lash Leroux
It's Prince Iaukea doing a Prince (singer) gimmick. The title is vacant and this is a tournament final due to Oklahoma (a parody of Jim Ross) winning it and weighing about 300lbs. The audio is rather bad here as it keeps cutting in and out. Artist's chick Paisley does a stupid intro but gets a nice little slap on the moneymaker by Lash. Prince goes insane and the ring is LOUD tonight.
Artist takes over to start and pounds away with right hands. Lash fights back but tries a discus punch, allowing Prince to kick him in the face. Sweet counter there. The fans are trying to care but it's not really happening. Lash hits a nice dive to take Prince down again but walks into a SICK dragon screw to give Artist the advantage again. Tree of Woe is used and Lash buries his face in the Snickers logo.
Lash tries a sunset flip and Artist grabs the crotch of the referee to avoid going down. This is getting way too close to a Goldust character here. Out to the floor and Lash goes into the steps. Apparently it's cool for Paisley to chill on the apron. They go a bit more back and forth and it's the living definition of mediocre stuff. Paisley keeps Lash from taking him off the top and the jumping DDT off the middle rope gives Artist the title.
Rating: D. Well let's see. The match wasn't anything remotely decent, the ending was typical/predictable and the fans didn't care at all. What other grade did you expect me to give this? Artist was a worthless guy because his in ring stuff was just boring so let's push him to ANOTHER singles title. They never got that he just wasn't very good but tried with him anyway, which I guess is the Eric Young approach.
Norman Smiley has bad ribs.
Brian Knobbs wants the Hardcore Title. He talks about Finlay training him and that he'll be Nasty Knobbs tonight.
There's a room that's off limits and we're not sure who asked for it/who's in it.
Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow is champion and brings a bunch of weapons with him. Knobbs has a broken arm thanks to Lex Luger which is a habit of his lately. Knobbs comes out to a version of....My Sharona? It sounds like something Mickie James would come out to. They both grab weapons and hit the floor with Brian running away. Finlay is in the aisle with a broken arm/hand of his own.
They go over to the WCW.com area and it's your typical hardcore brawl. They're in the back now and Knobbs goes through a table. Finlay makes it a handicap match but Knobbs wants to do it on his own. They walk back to the ring and it's table time. Madden asks who puts the tables there and Tony says whoever makes them must make a fortune. He's right too as they have what, 10 a night?
The table is set up in the corner by Brian, meaning he's going through it according to wrestling law #5. Yep there it is via a splash. The announcers say Tony is smart for calling that or whatever. Greetings From Asbury Park gets no cover because Bigelow isn't that smart. Bigelow goes after Finlay but gets caught with a cast shot and Brian My Sharona Knobbs is champion.
Rating: D+. Seriously, what was the point of this? They were really trying to capitalize on the hardcore thing after WWF did almost every goofy idea with it ever to this point? The match was nothing of note, mainly due to it being Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Finlay served no purpose here and the whole thing was a waste of time.
Flair tells Luger that he's awesome.
Security is guarding the doors of the main event guys.
3 Count vs. Norman Smiley
Why these guys are fighting is beyond me. Smiley has bad ribs and it's a handicap match. Evan says they're not going to sing and it's the pop of the night. Smiley is in a 49ers jersey which is a thing he did around this time: the local sports team jersey. It worked in the same theory for Foley so why not? 3 Count has to tag and the fans think they suck. The boy band starts going after the ribs and Shane tries some BIG flipping dive but Norman gets out of the way.
We go older than old school with a giant swing. Shane almost gets the Wiggle but it turns into a dance contest. Shannon comes in and 3 Count looks like a bunch of clueless idiots. The Norman Conquest (Crossface chickenwing) goes onto Shannon and now it gets serious with a three on one beating. The jersey is gone and they work on the ribs. Evan hits a corkscrew splash and everyone busts out big dives to the ribs. Norman submits to a Liontamer.
Rating: D. What was the point of this again? 3 Count can beat one guy with bad ribs. So what? They seemed confused about whether or not this was a comedy match or a serious match also as it changed about halfway through. Norman never got an actual push outside of the hardcore stuff which is annoying given that he was very popular in a Santino kind of way.
Jarrett wants to send the Harris Brothers to see who is behind the door.
The Wall vs. The KISS Demon
Oh boy it's this match. This is a special main event to keep WCW from getting sued to the end of the country and back. So WCW came up with this idea to partner with KISS and have wrestlers themed like KISS with one guy for each band member. Eventually it was brought down to one guy in the form of the KISS Demon. He was promised one PPV main event match which WCW bailed on, so this is the main event match to fulfill the contract.
Wall likes to chokeslam people so I'd expect a squash here. Wall jumps him near the entrance and a big brawl breaks out. Wall is in a suit minus a jacket. We get a Warrior gorilla press drop. Demon gets a shot in and the fans are a bit bored. There's no story here so Madden makes dick jokes. Demon gets a decent dropkick in and a suplex for no cover. Wall fights back and works on the back. Demon slams Wall off the top, nearly breaking his neck in the process. He goes up and there's a chokeslam off the top to end the main event in about 4 minutes.
Rating: L. As in lawsuit which should come soon after this. This was a joke and I can picture the bosses cowering in their offices in fear of legal papers being served to them at any given moment. This was idiotic and I think everyone knew it. No one came out of it looking good and it was just a squash to get Demon on PPV.
Ernest Miller insists James Brown is here.
The Harris Brothers can't get in the door.
Tank Abbott and Big Al (no idea who he is and that's because WCW never told us anything other than they knew from their past) are ready and we get a video about this being over a leather jacket.
Tank Abbott vs. Big Al
Abbott likes to punch people out cold with one shot. It's called a skins match but it's a leather jacket on a pole. Very few of you might remember Big Al as Al Green from the 90s in a tag team called The Wrecking Crew. Al takes off his belt and they tie their hands together and take turns hitting each other in the head. Remember that Abbott was a legit UFC guy earlier so he knows how to hit people.
They curse a lot and Al goes down from some left hand shots. It was the big right hand that dropped people. The belt is dropped and Abbott goes down from a right hand. Al puts Tank's legs around the post and then...stops. He didn't tie the legs or injure them or anything. Now Al stands on Tank's face as Tank hasn't moved in about two minutes. That wakes him up I guess and Tank lays into Al. Tank destroys him and then climbs the ropes with Al on his shoulders. Then he drops him (unintentionally) to the floor. Tank goes up to get the jacket and end this mess.
Rating: W. As in Wow. This made live PPV and someone thought it was a good idea. Russo wanted Abbott to be WORLD CHAMPION which is what got him fired. Let that sink in for a few seconds. We're not done with these two yet though, so let's end this rating by saying this was atrocious and no one knew what the point of it was.
Tank pulls a knife out of the jacket pocket and puts it to Al's throat as Al is out cold. I could fucking kill you right now. The camera go wide FAST as Tony says he thought it was a pair of scissors to cut Al's beard. If Al had a beard or any hair on his face, that could be plausible but Al had less hair than Steve Austin.
Harlem Heat says Big T is ready for Booker and will win the rights to the name Harlem Heat. Big T is Ahmed Johnson.
We recap the Harlem Heat feud which is Booker allegedly losing what it means to be from the streets. Stevie brought in Big T to reform Harlem Heat as Harlem Heat 2000. They brought in Clarence freaking Mason to say this was a legal issue and that Booker can't even use the flames anymore.
Booker says nothing of note.
Booker vs. Big T
Earlier on Booker had lost the rights to the letter T in a match sponsored by Sesame Street. Booker is forced to come out to whimsical carnival music. All Booker to start as Big T needs a box of Twinkies. T can't really move so he uses clubbering offense. Biggs and Stevie keep cheating as it's kind of hard to buy Booker loosing to this guy fairly. Stevie cheats enough to send Booker in and let T have the advantage for a full 4 seconds. Booker gets a Russian leg sweep and the axe kick but sets for the side kick instead of covering.
That's a good idea though as it hits, only for Biggs (Mason if I didn't mention that) comes in as the Book End hits. Stevie interferes again as Booker hits his finishing missile dropkick....and there go the lights. There was a chick named Midnight who did this around this time but it's a big guy in a leather jacket instead who just stands there. The distraction lets T hit a sloppy Pearl River Plunge for the pin. If you remember the No Limit Soldiers, it's 4x4.
Rating: F+. Booker was trying so hard here but he needed something else to work with besides himself out there. Ahmed got so big and fat in just four years that it's unreal. The match was nothing at all and the whole thing was just a mess as Booker was doing everything out there but couldn't get it to work at all. He would become GI Bro later in the year, I kid you not.
The Maestro (the legit nephew of Gorgeous George and a classical music themed character who had Ryan Shamrock as his manager named Symphony) offers a bet to Miller that he'll listen to whatever music Miller wants him to if the real James Brown is here. If Brown isn't here, Miller becomes Maestro's servant.
The Harris Brothers still try to get in the door and beat up the guy with the key when it doesn't work. Couldn't they, oh I don't know, BREAK THE DOOR DOWN???
Recap of Kidman vs. Vampiro which is over respect or something but Vampy could never beat him. Ok so yes he could and this is the rubber match or something. It's nice to see just a basic feud though. The Wall is involved somehow also. The package keeps going and I have no idea what they're fighting over after about a minute of it. I think they're friends but I have no idea for the most part. It's WCW so were you really expecting a coherent storyline?
Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro
We start with some decent technical stuff until Kidman gets a rana to send Vampiro to the floor. Back in the ring Vampy gets a suplex off the top for two. Kidman is dropkicked into Torrie and now Billy is all fired up. Vampiro takes over the heel role here as Madden reaches a new low in bad jokes: If Torries helps Kidman beat Vampiro is she Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?
Back inside now and Vampy is in control with some suplexes. Kidman grabs a Sky High for two. Fameasser gets two for Vampiro. Madden says in a year this will be for the US Title and in two years for the world title. Oh that wacky Mark. Vampiro hits a double powerbomb with the second being a release version. They go up top and Kidman hits a reverse tornado DDT off the middle rope for the pin. That came out of nowhere.
Rating: C-. Not bad here and it's one of the better matches of the night, primarily due to it actually getting some time. Vampiro was supposed to be heel but the fans liked him so WCW totally ignored that because they knew what the fans wanted more than the fans so they made him more and more evil until the fans gave up and the bookers got what they wanted.
Funk says he'll win the death match.
Sid sends away security.
We recap the tag title match. The Mamalukes are champions and have been all awesome so David Flair/Crowbar/Daffney did their insane stuff, setting up a stretcher match despite stretchers not being involved at all.
The Mamalukes say things that Italian stereotypes say.
Tag Titles: Mamalukes vs. David Flair/Crowbar
You have to put both guys on stretchers and get them all the way out of the ring. Disco manages the Mamalukes and he jumps in on commentary. Crowbar hits a Vader Bomb off the railing to Vito. David puts Johnny on a stretcher and Crowbar dives over the top onto him but we're only a minute and a half into this so no one buys that it could be ending yet. The Mamalukes take over and Disco insists the stretchers are made in China.
With the champions dominating, Daffney comes in and snaps off a rana on Johnny then maces Disco. David is on a stretcher and is going up the ramp, only for Crowbar to make the save. Flair takes a stretcher apart and it's table time. Wrestling law #6 comes into play and Crowbar goes through it for bringing it in. Disco is still blinded so he keeps asking if stuff was good for their team. Can I get some medical attention? Does anyone care about me? Tony: No.
Flair is taped to a stretcher and for some reason the referees take him out. I'm not sure if he's eliminated or if he can come back now. Yeah it's a handicap match now. Daffney rings the bell for no apparent reason. Crowbar gets another table but gets hit in the back with a lead pipe. Law #6 comes into play again, this time via a Big Vito splash off the top to the floor. That's enough to retain.
Rating: C+. Not horrible here but nothing we haven't seen a bunch of times. Sometimes on a show you need to just take the brains out of it and have a goofy match and that's what they did here. Amazingly enough, this was one of the better matches of the night although that could be due to the rest of the show dying before our eyes.
The Mamalukes put Daffney on a stretcher too for some reason.
Jarrett doesn't care that the Harris Brothers couldn't get in.
Sid says he'll be world champion after the show ends.
Ready to waste A LOT of time? Cat brings out a James Brown impersonator to win the bet, Maestro comes out and calls shenanigans and then the REAL James Brown comes out to dance. This cost them how much money for a total of no one caring?
Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair
This is a death match which is last man standing but you have to pin the guy/get a submission before the count begins. Dustin Rhodes is here for no real reason other than to enforce the three way Flair vs. Rhodes vs. Funk feud that is brought up every year. They slug it out in the corner and Flair backs off to the floor. Ric begs off and gets beaten on even more.
Funk hooks the spinning toe hold but Ric kicks him off. Here come the chops and we go to the floor. Madden says Flair has the advantage out there. It's Terry Funk in a no rules environment. How in the world is he at a disadvantage? Funk suplexes him on the floor and is promptly whipped into the railing. Another suplex out there gives Funk a fall but Flair is up at at five.
Flair kicks him in the nuts and gets in some chair shots to the knees. Back in the ring Funk gives up to the Figure Four which is logical and not out of character here. Funk is up at five. Flair gets slammed off the top and to the floor we go again where Flair gets a pair of piledrivers, including one with the mats pulled back, for another pin. While Flair is being counted Terry sets up a table. Flair is up at about seven.
Funk grabs a mic for some reason and asks if Flair wants to quit. Terry says he wants to break Flair's neck again and piledrives him through a table. Thank goodness this isn't Memphis. That gets...a two count because Funk breaks up his own cover. With Flair not moving, Funk gets another table set up and wrestling law #6 applies again, this time due to a double axe through it. The pin goes through and Flair wins with that.
Rating: C+. Nothing great here but the fact that it takes two guys who combine to be over a century old at this point for the best match of the night two hours into a show, you know that the company is in trouble. It was slow which hurts it a lot and would have been epic in the 80s but here it's pretty dull. Still though it wasn't horrible.
The door is still shut.
Hogan isn't worried about facing Luger with a broken arm. That was Luger's thing at this point: he broke a lot of arms.
Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan
It's the alliteration title match! This is just a grudge match. Hogan gets a solid reaction but he was always over in California. Luger jumps him during the entrance so Buffer is still announcing while Luger is stomping away on him. Luger's big elbow misses and Hogan hammers away. They head to the floor and the idea is that Hogan is combining Hulk and Hollywood into SUPER HOGAN.
Hogan pops Lex in the back with a chair as this is Hollywood I think. Hogan gets caught by an elbow back in the ring and it's a strike off. Luger tries a right hand but hits the cast and Hogan takes over with a clothesline. Hulk rams Lex's head into the corner ten times and sets for the leg drop but Liz hits him with the bat. It doesn't seem to hurt but it lets Lex get a shot in to take over one more time. Jimmy steals the bat from Liz and Luger beats on him some more. Luger hits a suplex and it's Hulk Up time. You know the drill and we're done. There were some weightlifting belt shots and a cast shot in there too.
Rating: D. When Hogan's 80s formula is enough to bore me, that's saying a lot because I love that stuff. This was more of a fight than a match and that's not a good thing. This was nothing of note and at 8 minutes, how much more can you really expect? Not a good match or anything but the fans were into Hogan so this wasn't a horrible idea.
Flair comes out for a double team but Sting returns for the save.
Hall comes out of his dressing room and sends the security away.
Sid is ready too.
Jeff and company come out.
We recap the main event. Hall was brought back in for no apparent reason but he got a title shot at Sid. It should be noted that Hogan's song is playing over the majority of this video. This became Outsiders vs. Jarrett which resulted in Hall vs. Jeff for the shot at Sid, resulting in a triple threat.
The private room has been opened but it's empty and we're told it wasn't Sting.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid vs. Scott Hall
This is Hall's last match in WCW. Hall is the popular one but since he has no chance it's not like it matters. He and Jarrett go at it before Sid gets here. Hall takes out the Harris Brothers and this is no DQ. Jeff chills on the floor while Hall pounds on Sid. Sid beats them both down and the Harris Brothers are running around at their pleasure. The Twins pull Hall to the floor and Jeff works over Hall a bit.
Tony calls Hall and Jarrett a couple of young kids and there goes the referee. Sid hits a double chokeslam and another referee comes down to count two. Jeff takes Sid out with a belt shot for two. The second referee gets a Stroke because....well because Jeff isn't a nice person. Some heel miscommunication lets Hall get two on Jeff. Sid cracks the Harris Brothers with chairs and Jeff beats up the third referee in about five minutes.
The fourth referee comes in and down he goes immediately. Here's the fifth referee and it's the crooked referee Slick Johnson. Jeff sees him coming but gets caught in the Outsider's Edge, only for Johnson to do the whole OW MY SHOULDER bit. Jeff hits Hall with the guitar and here's Roddy Piper to be the referee. He's the guy behind the door and he stops Johnson from counting the pin. Chokeslam to Jeff, powerbomb to Hall and Sid retains.
Rating: D+. Well all things considered (7 minutes, 6 referees, 2 Harris Twins and 1 guy with zero chance at all) they did about as much as they could. This felt as rushed as a little personal time when your mom is on her way home and you're 13 years old. I have no idea why it was so rushed but could it have anything to do with JAMES BROWN DANCING FOR TEN MINUTES?
Sid poses and we're done in a hurry.
Overall Rating: F. It's WCW in the year 2000. Were you expecting anything remotely decent? The main event is rushed and barely feels like a main event, Hogan vs. Luger is barely anything and the best match had Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair, 11 years after Funk was the grizzled veteran wanting one last shot. This was horrible and I can see why they brought back Bischoff and Russo. Not worth seeing at all.
Date: February 20, 2000
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 8,569
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Mike Tenay
This is the final WCW 2000 PPV I have to do so after it we'll be going to the other end of the spectrum for some of the first ever PPVs in WCW that I haven't done yet. The main event is a three way with Sid vs. Jarrett vs. Hall and it should be really interesting to see the comparison between what we were getting under the Bischoff/Russo regime and this one which is under Kevin Sullivan and I think Kevin Nash's booking. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about the old guys, in the forms of Flair vs. Funk and Hogan vs. Luger. There's a world title match also but it's not that important. Oh I forgot the NWO was around at this point too. Whatever. This is also the first PPV in the post-Radicalz era so the midcard should be really interesting.
Nash is commissioner at this point but is injured. Gene tries to talk to him but the Nitro Girls and Jarrett plus the Harris Boys come out, saying that Nash isn't going to be here tonight. Jeff says he's the acting commissioner and the Harris Boys will be here tonight.
Let's run down that card that we've already paid for and we already listed in the opening video! They waste like five minutes doing the whole thing, leaving nothing out at all.
We recap Oklahoma, a fat man impersonating JR, vacating the title and the tournament that followed. I mean we go over all six matches we've gotten already.
We're over ten minutes into this show and the first entrance is just starting now.
Cruiserweight Title: TAFKAPI vs. Lash Leroux
It's Prince Iaukea doing a Prince (singer) gimmick. The title is vacant and this is a tournament final due to Oklahoma (a parody of Jim Ross) winning it and weighing about 300lbs. The audio is rather bad here as it keeps cutting in and out. Artist's chick Paisley does a stupid intro but gets a nice little slap on the moneymaker by Lash. Prince goes insane and the ring is LOUD tonight.
Artist takes over to start and pounds away with right hands. Lash fights back but tries a discus punch, allowing Prince to kick him in the face. Sweet counter there. The fans are trying to care but it's not really happening. Lash hits a nice dive to take Prince down again but walks into a SICK dragon screw to give Artist the advantage again. Tree of Woe is used and Lash buries his face in the Snickers logo.
Lash tries a sunset flip and Artist grabs the crotch of the referee to avoid going down. This is getting way too close to a Goldust character here. Out to the floor and Lash goes into the steps. Apparently it's cool for Paisley to chill on the apron. They go a bit more back and forth and it's the living definition of mediocre stuff. Paisley keeps Lash from taking him off the top and the jumping DDT off the middle rope gives Artist the title.
Rating: D. Well let's see. The match wasn't anything remotely decent, the ending was typical/predictable and the fans didn't care at all. What other grade did you expect me to give this? Artist was a worthless guy because his in ring stuff was just boring so let's push him to ANOTHER singles title. They never got that he just wasn't very good but tried with him anyway, which I guess is the Eric Young approach.
Norman Smiley has bad ribs.
Brian Knobbs wants the Hardcore Title. He talks about Finlay training him and that he'll be Nasty Knobbs tonight.
There's a room that's off limits and we're not sure who asked for it/who's in it.
Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow is champion and brings a bunch of weapons with him. Knobbs has a broken arm thanks to Lex Luger which is a habit of his lately. Knobbs comes out to a version of....My Sharona? It sounds like something Mickie James would come out to. They both grab weapons and hit the floor with Brian running away. Finlay is in the aisle with a broken arm/hand of his own.
They go over to the WCW.com area and it's your typical hardcore brawl. They're in the back now and Knobbs goes through a table. Finlay makes it a handicap match but Knobbs wants to do it on his own. They walk back to the ring and it's table time. Madden asks who puts the tables there and Tony says whoever makes them must make a fortune. He's right too as they have what, 10 a night?
The table is set up in the corner by Brian, meaning he's going through it according to wrestling law #5. Yep there it is via a splash. The announcers say Tony is smart for calling that or whatever. Greetings From Asbury Park gets no cover because Bigelow isn't that smart. Bigelow goes after Finlay but gets caught with a cast shot and Brian My Sharona Knobbs is champion.
Rating: D+. Seriously, what was the point of this? They were really trying to capitalize on the hardcore thing after WWF did almost every goofy idea with it ever to this point? The match was nothing of note, mainly due to it being Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Finlay served no purpose here and the whole thing was a waste of time.
Flair tells Luger that he's awesome.
Security is guarding the doors of the main event guys.
3 Count vs. Norman Smiley
Why these guys are fighting is beyond me. Smiley has bad ribs and it's a handicap match. Evan says they're not going to sing and it's the pop of the night. Smiley is in a 49ers jersey which is a thing he did around this time: the local sports team jersey. It worked in the same theory for Foley so why not? 3 Count has to tag and the fans think they suck. The boy band starts going after the ribs and Shane tries some BIG flipping dive but Norman gets out of the way.
We go older than old school with a giant swing. Shane almost gets the Wiggle but it turns into a dance contest. Shannon comes in and 3 Count looks like a bunch of clueless idiots. The Norman Conquest (Crossface chickenwing) goes onto Shannon and now it gets serious with a three on one beating. The jersey is gone and they work on the ribs. Evan hits a corkscrew splash and everyone busts out big dives to the ribs. Norman submits to a Liontamer.
Rating: D. What was the point of this again? 3 Count can beat one guy with bad ribs. So what? They seemed confused about whether or not this was a comedy match or a serious match also as it changed about halfway through. Norman never got an actual push outside of the hardcore stuff which is annoying given that he was very popular in a Santino kind of way.
Jarrett wants to send the Harris Brothers to see who is behind the door.
The Wall vs. The KISS Demon
Oh boy it's this match. This is a special main event to keep WCW from getting sued to the end of the country and back. So WCW came up with this idea to partner with KISS and have wrestlers themed like KISS with one guy for each band member. Eventually it was brought down to one guy in the form of the KISS Demon. He was promised one PPV main event match which WCW bailed on, so this is the main event match to fulfill the contract.
Wall likes to chokeslam people so I'd expect a squash here. Wall jumps him near the entrance and a big brawl breaks out. Wall is in a suit minus a jacket. We get a Warrior gorilla press drop. Demon gets a shot in and the fans are a bit bored. There's no story here so Madden makes dick jokes. Demon gets a decent dropkick in and a suplex for no cover. Wall fights back and works on the back. Demon slams Wall off the top, nearly breaking his neck in the process. He goes up and there's a chokeslam off the top to end the main event in about 4 minutes.
Rating: L. As in lawsuit which should come soon after this. This was a joke and I can picture the bosses cowering in their offices in fear of legal papers being served to them at any given moment. This was idiotic and I think everyone knew it. No one came out of it looking good and it was just a squash to get Demon on PPV.
Ernest Miller insists James Brown is here.
The Harris Brothers can't get in the door.
Tank Abbott and Big Al (no idea who he is and that's because WCW never told us anything other than they knew from their past) are ready and we get a video about this being over a leather jacket.
Tank Abbott vs. Big Al
Abbott likes to punch people out cold with one shot. It's called a skins match but it's a leather jacket on a pole. Very few of you might remember Big Al as Al Green from the 90s in a tag team called The Wrecking Crew. Al takes off his belt and they tie their hands together and take turns hitting each other in the head. Remember that Abbott was a legit UFC guy earlier so he knows how to hit people.
They curse a lot and Al goes down from some left hand shots. It was the big right hand that dropped people. The belt is dropped and Abbott goes down from a right hand. Al puts Tank's legs around the post and then...stops. He didn't tie the legs or injure them or anything. Now Al stands on Tank's face as Tank hasn't moved in about two minutes. That wakes him up I guess and Tank lays into Al. Tank destroys him and then climbs the ropes with Al on his shoulders. Then he drops him (unintentionally) to the floor. Tank goes up to get the jacket and end this mess.
Rating: W. As in Wow. This made live PPV and someone thought it was a good idea. Russo wanted Abbott to be WORLD CHAMPION which is what got him fired. Let that sink in for a few seconds. We're not done with these two yet though, so let's end this rating by saying this was atrocious and no one knew what the point of it was.
Tank pulls a knife out of the jacket pocket and puts it to Al's throat as Al is out cold. I could fucking kill you right now. The camera go wide FAST as Tony says he thought it was a pair of scissors to cut Al's beard. If Al had a beard or any hair on his face, that could be plausible but Al had less hair than Steve Austin.
Harlem Heat says Big T is ready for Booker and will win the rights to the name Harlem Heat. Big T is Ahmed Johnson.
We recap the Harlem Heat feud which is Booker allegedly losing what it means to be from the streets. Stevie brought in Big T to reform Harlem Heat as Harlem Heat 2000. They brought in Clarence freaking Mason to say this was a legal issue and that Booker can't even use the flames anymore.
Booker says nothing of note.
Booker vs. Big T
Earlier on Booker had lost the rights to the letter T in a match sponsored by Sesame Street. Booker is forced to come out to whimsical carnival music. All Booker to start as Big T needs a box of Twinkies. T can't really move so he uses clubbering offense. Biggs and Stevie keep cheating as it's kind of hard to buy Booker loosing to this guy fairly. Stevie cheats enough to send Booker in and let T have the advantage for a full 4 seconds. Booker gets a Russian leg sweep and the axe kick but sets for the side kick instead of covering.
That's a good idea though as it hits, only for Biggs (Mason if I didn't mention that) comes in as the Book End hits. Stevie interferes again as Booker hits his finishing missile dropkick....and there go the lights. There was a chick named Midnight who did this around this time but it's a big guy in a leather jacket instead who just stands there. The distraction lets T hit a sloppy Pearl River Plunge for the pin. If you remember the No Limit Soldiers, it's 4x4.
Rating: F+. Booker was trying so hard here but he needed something else to work with besides himself out there. Ahmed got so big and fat in just four years that it's unreal. The match was nothing at all and the whole thing was just a mess as Booker was doing everything out there but couldn't get it to work at all. He would become GI Bro later in the year, I kid you not.
The Maestro (the legit nephew of Gorgeous George and a classical music themed character who had Ryan Shamrock as his manager named Symphony) offers a bet to Miller that he'll listen to whatever music Miller wants him to if the real James Brown is here. If Brown isn't here, Miller becomes Maestro's servant.
The Harris Brothers still try to get in the door and beat up the guy with the key when it doesn't work. Couldn't they, oh I don't know, BREAK THE DOOR DOWN???
Recap of Kidman vs. Vampiro which is over respect or something but Vampy could never beat him. Ok so yes he could and this is the rubber match or something. It's nice to see just a basic feud though. The Wall is involved somehow also. The package keeps going and I have no idea what they're fighting over after about a minute of it. I think they're friends but I have no idea for the most part. It's WCW so were you really expecting a coherent storyline?
Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro
We start with some decent technical stuff until Kidman gets a rana to send Vampiro to the floor. Back in the ring Vampy gets a suplex off the top for two. Kidman is dropkicked into Torrie and now Billy is all fired up. Vampiro takes over the heel role here as Madden reaches a new low in bad jokes: If Torries helps Kidman beat Vampiro is she Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?
Back inside now and Vampy is in control with some suplexes. Kidman grabs a Sky High for two. Fameasser gets two for Vampiro. Madden says in a year this will be for the US Title and in two years for the world title. Oh that wacky Mark. Vampiro hits a double powerbomb with the second being a release version. They go up top and Kidman hits a reverse tornado DDT off the middle rope for the pin. That came out of nowhere.
Rating: C-. Not bad here and it's one of the better matches of the night, primarily due to it actually getting some time. Vampiro was supposed to be heel but the fans liked him so WCW totally ignored that because they knew what the fans wanted more than the fans so they made him more and more evil until the fans gave up and the bookers got what they wanted.
Funk says he'll win the death match.
Sid sends away security.
We recap the tag title match. The Mamalukes are champions and have been all awesome so David Flair/Crowbar/Daffney did their insane stuff, setting up a stretcher match despite stretchers not being involved at all.
The Mamalukes say things that Italian stereotypes say.
Tag Titles: Mamalukes vs. David Flair/Crowbar
You have to put both guys on stretchers and get them all the way out of the ring. Disco manages the Mamalukes and he jumps in on commentary. Crowbar hits a Vader Bomb off the railing to Vito. David puts Johnny on a stretcher and Crowbar dives over the top onto him but we're only a minute and a half into this so no one buys that it could be ending yet. The Mamalukes take over and Disco insists the stretchers are made in China.
With the champions dominating, Daffney comes in and snaps off a rana on Johnny then maces Disco. David is on a stretcher and is going up the ramp, only for Crowbar to make the save. Flair takes a stretcher apart and it's table time. Wrestling law #6 comes into play and Crowbar goes through it for bringing it in. Disco is still blinded so he keeps asking if stuff was good for their team. Can I get some medical attention? Does anyone care about me? Tony: No.
Flair is taped to a stretcher and for some reason the referees take him out. I'm not sure if he's eliminated or if he can come back now. Yeah it's a handicap match now. Daffney rings the bell for no apparent reason. Crowbar gets another table but gets hit in the back with a lead pipe. Law #6 comes into play again, this time via a Big Vito splash off the top to the floor. That's enough to retain.
Rating: C+. Not horrible here but nothing we haven't seen a bunch of times. Sometimes on a show you need to just take the brains out of it and have a goofy match and that's what they did here. Amazingly enough, this was one of the better matches of the night although that could be due to the rest of the show dying before our eyes.
The Mamalukes put Daffney on a stretcher too for some reason.
Jarrett doesn't care that the Harris Brothers couldn't get in.
Sid says he'll be world champion after the show ends.
Ready to waste A LOT of time? Cat brings out a James Brown impersonator to win the bet, Maestro comes out and calls shenanigans and then the REAL James Brown comes out to dance. This cost them how much money for a total of no one caring?
Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair
This is a death match which is last man standing but you have to pin the guy/get a submission before the count begins. Dustin Rhodes is here for no real reason other than to enforce the three way Flair vs. Rhodes vs. Funk feud that is brought up every year. They slug it out in the corner and Flair backs off to the floor. Ric begs off and gets beaten on even more.
Funk hooks the spinning toe hold but Ric kicks him off. Here come the chops and we go to the floor. Madden says Flair has the advantage out there. It's Terry Funk in a no rules environment. How in the world is he at a disadvantage? Funk suplexes him on the floor and is promptly whipped into the railing. Another suplex out there gives Funk a fall but Flair is up at at five.
Flair kicks him in the nuts and gets in some chair shots to the knees. Back in the ring Funk gives up to the Figure Four which is logical and not out of character here. Funk is up at five. Flair gets slammed off the top and to the floor we go again where Flair gets a pair of piledrivers, including one with the mats pulled back, for another pin. While Flair is being counted Terry sets up a table. Flair is up at about seven.
Funk grabs a mic for some reason and asks if Flair wants to quit. Terry says he wants to break Flair's neck again and piledrives him through a table. Thank goodness this isn't Memphis. That gets...a two count because Funk breaks up his own cover. With Flair not moving, Funk gets another table set up and wrestling law #6 applies again, this time due to a double axe through it. The pin goes through and Flair wins with that.
Rating: C+. Nothing great here but the fact that it takes two guys who combine to be over a century old at this point for the best match of the night two hours into a show, you know that the company is in trouble. It was slow which hurts it a lot and would have been epic in the 80s but here it's pretty dull. Still though it wasn't horrible.
The door is still shut.
Hogan isn't worried about facing Luger with a broken arm. That was Luger's thing at this point: he broke a lot of arms.
Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan
It's the alliteration title match! This is just a grudge match. Hogan gets a solid reaction but he was always over in California. Luger jumps him during the entrance so Buffer is still announcing while Luger is stomping away on him. Luger's big elbow misses and Hogan hammers away. They head to the floor and the idea is that Hogan is combining Hulk and Hollywood into SUPER HOGAN.
Hogan pops Lex in the back with a chair as this is Hollywood I think. Hogan gets caught by an elbow back in the ring and it's a strike off. Luger tries a right hand but hits the cast and Hogan takes over with a clothesline. Hulk rams Lex's head into the corner ten times and sets for the leg drop but Liz hits him with the bat. It doesn't seem to hurt but it lets Lex get a shot in to take over one more time. Jimmy steals the bat from Liz and Luger beats on him some more. Luger hits a suplex and it's Hulk Up time. You know the drill and we're done. There were some weightlifting belt shots and a cast shot in there too.
Rating: D. When Hogan's 80s formula is enough to bore me, that's saying a lot because I love that stuff. This was more of a fight than a match and that's not a good thing. This was nothing of note and at 8 minutes, how much more can you really expect? Not a good match or anything but the fans were into Hogan so this wasn't a horrible idea.
Flair comes out for a double team but Sting returns for the save.
Hall comes out of his dressing room and sends the security away.
Sid is ready too.
Jeff and company come out.
We recap the main event. Hall was brought back in for no apparent reason but he got a title shot at Sid. It should be noted that Hogan's song is playing over the majority of this video. This became Outsiders vs. Jarrett which resulted in Hall vs. Jeff for the shot at Sid, resulting in a triple threat.
The private room has been opened but it's empty and we're told it wasn't Sting.
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid vs. Scott Hall
This is Hall's last match in WCW. Hall is the popular one but since he has no chance it's not like it matters. He and Jarrett go at it before Sid gets here. Hall takes out the Harris Brothers and this is no DQ. Jeff chills on the floor while Hall pounds on Sid. Sid beats them both down and the Harris Brothers are running around at their pleasure. The Twins pull Hall to the floor and Jeff works over Hall a bit.
Tony calls Hall and Jarrett a couple of young kids and there goes the referee. Sid hits a double chokeslam and another referee comes down to count two. Jeff takes Sid out with a belt shot for two. The second referee gets a Stroke because....well because Jeff isn't a nice person. Some heel miscommunication lets Hall get two on Jeff. Sid cracks the Harris Brothers with chairs and Jeff beats up the third referee in about five minutes.
The fourth referee comes in and down he goes immediately. Here's the fifth referee and it's the crooked referee Slick Johnson. Jeff sees him coming but gets caught in the Outsider's Edge, only for Johnson to do the whole OW MY SHOULDER bit. Jeff hits Hall with the guitar and here's Roddy Piper to be the referee. He's the guy behind the door and he stops Johnson from counting the pin. Chokeslam to Jeff, powerbomb to Hall and Sid retains.
Rating: D+. Well all things considered (7 minutes, 6 referees, 2 Harris Twins and 1 guy with zero chance at all) they did about as much as they could. This felt as rushed as a little personal time when your mom is on her way home and you're 13 years old. I have no idea why it was so rushed but could it have anything to do with JAMES BROWN DANCING FOR TEN MINUTES?
Sid poses and we're done in a hurry.
Overall Rating: F. It's WCW in the year 2000. Were you expecting anything remotely decent? The main event is rushed and barely feels like a main event, Hogan vs. Luger is barely anything and the best match had Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair, 11 years after Funk was the grizzled veteran wanting one last shot. This was horrible and I can see why they brought back Bischoff and Russo. Not worth seeing at all.