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Souled Out 1999
Date: January 17, 1999
Location: Charleston Civic Center, Charleston, West Virginia
Attendance: 10,833
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan
Zero justification for doing this other than I was bored out of my mind with the stuff I was doing so I grabbed a random show and figured I’d do it. Might as well knock some random show out to spice things up a bit I guess. This is in the middle of WCW somehow managing to blow whatever they had left at the time, with WWF reigning on high at the moment and not looking back at all.
The Goldberg Streak had just ended the month before and we’re two weeks removed from the Fingerpoke of Doom. The main event is Goldberg vs. Hall in a ladder match but you win by using the stun gun so it’s a stun gun on a pole that you have to get with a ladder match. Amazingly, Russo was 9 months away. Remember this would be competing with Foley vs. Rock. Again, no reason for this but just felt like watching a random as hell show. Let’s get to it.
We open with a press conference from the President of WCW: Ric Flair. Apparently WCW is winning the war with the NWO! Yes, that’s what they’re talking about in 1999. I’m amazed. Is there even a war going on at this point or are they just around still? Hogan is world champion here. Egads man. Seriously is it 1997 or something?
It’s a night of revenge apparently for WCW. I have a very bad feeling about this show. David Flair debuts tonight. Oh joy. There’s a dress match tonight. And call the Hotline! I did that once. It sucked. You can’t understand Tony here.
There’s a disturbance backstage and Goldberg is holding his knee. Good to know. Seriously, how did they fuck up Goldberg? Seriously, HOW DID THEY DO THAT???
Mike Enos vs. Chris Benoit
And you wonder why they went out of business. A Beverly Brother is fighting Chris Benoit in the opening match of a damn PPV. Wow. Benoit is a Horseman here. This was around the time when Benoit, Malenko and Guerrero were just fucking fed up with Bischoff and were on the verge of leaving but they would hang around for another year. Giant showed up in WWF in a month so you could tell things were going bad.
The audio is horrible here as it’s actually hard to understand Tony and company. Apparently it’s obvious that the NEW NWO is responsible for this. Obvious indeed. Yep, they’re not going to talk about Benoit or Enos at all are they? Benoit was popular as hell here but he hadn’t held a major title (TV Champion) at all yet. This is physical if nothing else so that’s good. Apparently there’s a tag title tournament going on at the time.
The announcers talk up Benoit. He was popular and over and good. WHY NOT PUSH HIM??? Oh he’s under 40 and hasn’t been in WWF yet. There’s your reasoning. SWEET DAMN Benoit could throw a chop. Enos got a random singles push and of course nothing came of it after that but he had some passable power stuff. To be clear: this is a WCW event and not an NWO event.
You can tell this as the NWO logo on the mat has a red X painted over it. Seriously, let it go people. This really was the most overdone angle in history. It’s rather stupid to say the least. Enos keeps using power stuff and while it’s ok, this needs to end soon. It’s just been going on too long here. His chest is BLOOD red. Benoit chopped the living hell out of him. He busts out the Germans and you know what’s coming. The crossface ends it soon after.
Rating: B-. Solid stuff here as Benoit is just epic at this time. Enos was a jobber of the month but that’s fine as he was just built up for some guy like Benoit to take down. Now the thing is, Benoit never got above this level at least not with the whole winning aspect of it. His matches were always entertaining though. Seriously, name a bad Benoit match. Not so easy is it?
Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Norman has the ashes of Pepe the Stick Horse in an urn. Oh dear. Yeah it’s dumber than it sounds. Chavo was insane at the time and his stick horse got destroyed. Naturally it makes sense to take two incredibly talented guys like these two and have them in a feud over a damn toy horse. For those of you unfamiliar with him, Smiley is one of the best in the world.
Chavo is much better than he’s given credit for, so this should be a great match if given time and respect. Chavo looks like he’s showing off here so this should be fun. Norman used to do this dance where he more or less looked like he was fucking the other guy on the ropes called the Big Wiggle. Naturally he got over beyond belief and could wrestle to back it up. Naturally WCW made him a comedy character and wasted him.
Why use a guy with talent and experience that is wildly popular in something good or significant? We can’t do that now can we? He starts busting out some weird submissions that look like they would hurt like hell. Again, talented and popular. That’s DANGEROUS in WCW. WE MUST KILL THEM OFF! Now listen people. The fans are making noise when Smiley does things. It’s called cheering. That means the fans like him.
Pay attention to it now, as you won’t hear it that much later on. This is a clinic in submission wrestling in case you were wondering and it’s most entertaining. It really is sad that a guy that is talented and over like this is being wasted. It really is. Look at Benoit. Same thing. This is getting some time if nothing else. Damn shame that the fans are chanting boring and neither guy will get to do a damn thing. Tony, stop talking. You do it too much.
Smiley’s dance gets an EPIC pop. They might be going a bit long here. Yeah this needs to end. Again, the problem is that there is zero direction for this area of the card as neither is going to do anything or get any kind of significant push so despite how great they are out there, nothing is going to come of it, which is what killed the company to me. Starting with the Gory Special, they hit a ridiculous series of holds and reversals. This is good stuff.
And of course we have to hit the goofy stuff as Smiley throws sawdust (the ashes of the horse) in Chavo’s eyes and hooks Norman’s Conquest (Crossfaced Chickenwing) for the tap. That’s WCW for you. Get two great wrestlers to put on a clinic and then have them do a goofy as hell ending to keep anyone from taking them seriously. And you wonder why they went out of business.
Rating: B. Just a clinic here of submission wrestling that you’ll never see in modern wrestling. This was entertaining to no end until we had the stupid as hell ending. That’s WCW for you though. We can’t have good wrestlers get over. That’s not how you run a wrestling company, period.
Mark Madden (blocking out the sun already) asks Konnan what’s next for him. Konnan wants to know who decided to throw him out of the NWO.
Fit Finlay vs. Van Hammer
Yes it’s the same Finlay from WWE. Van Hammer was a guy that was pushed to the moon in 1991 and then disappeared for like 5 years. He came back as a hippie and then an anti-hippie who loved violence. We’ll ignore the fact that he completely sucked at that point. He’s on winning streak number I’d guess 7 here and is of course going to lose to Finlay here since Finlay is older. I used to be a huge Van Hammer fan. This match sucks beyond any reasonable belief. Again, it’s not terrible but it’s just not interesting at all. There’s nothing of note to talk about here. Finlay wins with the Tombstone to total silence.
Rating: D. Again, WHY SHOULD I GIVE A DAMN AND WANT TO PAY FOR THIS??? That’s never answered so what difference does it make at the end of the day? Just another match that won’t be remembered in like an hour or so.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath
Oh this could be BAD. Bigelow is (kind of) fresh from ECW and few care. He was a huge deal there but here he’s a meal for Goldberg and nothing more. Wrath is more commonly known as Adam Bomb in WWF. I liked him there more than I should have I think. This is your standard power vs. power thing so while it’s ok, it’s not great. You can tell Heenan’s heart isn’t really in this that much. The problem with this whole show so far is simple: the wrestling is ok, but there is no point to it.
I mean it’s like why in the world should I give a damn about anything I’m watching here? I have no idea why and for the most part I don’t care at all. It’s somewhat entertaining, but there’s nothing here I’m going to care about in a day or so. Wrath kicked the camera on a kickout. That’s kind of amusing. And both guys are down now. Wrath misses a charge and walks into Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t interesting at all.
Rating: D+. Again, not bad but at the same time there was nothing here that I’m going to remember in a day or so. There’s just no emotion in the whole company and there is even less direction. Why are these two fighting? It’s never explained. Are either going to do anything off of this win or loss?
Nope, because they’re not one of about 7 guys. No one ever had anything to gain in the company so guys like Benoit or Wrath or whoever had zero incentive to work hard. That’s not how you run a wrestling company.
Konnan vs. Lex Luger
Konnan is mad because Luger and Nash threw out of the Wolfpac. Another guy that got over with the crowd and was ok in the ring and would never get a single push. He certainly wasn’t the best wrestler in the world, but he was getting reactions. Isn’t that the point of talking and wrestling? To entertain the people? He’s doing that here and nothing is ever going to come of it.
Why isn’t it? Because of people like Luger who had some good matches 10 years earlier so naturally he still gets pushed today. Of course Luger is going to go over here. No one cares, so of course he’s going to go over. Now I’m not saying give Konnan the world title or anything, but if the fans are into him, LISTEN TO THEM! Seriously is it that hard? Hell in TNA Pope is getting pops and he got pushed. That’s INTELLIGENT! Pope isn’t the best in the company.
Hell he’s not even one of the good ones, but the fans like him so he got pushed. How hard is that? Luger says Konnan didn’t make the cut and we’re ready to go. I can’t hear Tony or Tenay. Literally, the (likely canned) cheering is that loud. Yeah it got cut off WAY too fast to be legit. Ok, even then, if you’re going to make the illusion of him being over, PUSH HIM. Oh yeah that’s very canned.
There was a tossed salad reference before the match. I forgot to mention that one and I know everyone reading this cares about it. Luger gets a ton of canned heat too. Ok now it’s just getting stupid. The crowd isn’t moving and apparently they’re cheering/booing people out of the building. Yeah that makes sense doesn’t it? Yeah all of a sudden the crowd is just DEAD. Luger is just boring as hell in the ring. Tell me more than 5 moves you’ve ever seen him do.
It’s been all Luger in case you were wondering. And here’s Liz with epic new boobs. Why is she here? Who cares. Why would we need something like an explanation? The Tequila Sunrise is on but she paints Konnan’s eyes. And the Rack ends it. You know what might help here? IF HIS EYES HAD PAINT ON THEM! Just wow I can’t believe how awful this company is at times. At least on the replay something comes out of the can.
Rating: D. Just boring as all hell here. The booking of course serves the good old boys and the NWO as the heel wins again. Why would anyone be surprised here? The match was boring as hell of course and it served no purpose. Yep it’s WCW baby!
Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn
The loser has to wear a dress. Why? Eh who cares about things like storylines? Jericho gets a solid pop. He’ll never get pushed of course. Can we please fix these damn audio issues? It’s really annoying. Jericho has Ralphus with him which was always pretty damn funny. They have a bag with them that’s a surprise. The referee doesn’t like Saturn. Ok then.
Jericho is hilarious here as he knows it’s a matter of time before he gets out and heads to WWF where he’ll be placed in a feud with Road Dogg and ultimately Benoit. Apparently there was a coin toss and Rey and Kidman will start the fatal fourway later on. Good to know. Not really but I thought I’d try to sound nice. Jericho is the only reason to watch this at the moment. Saturn is legit strange as you’ve likely known but it’s very true indeed.
The guy can work a decent match though. Saturn had one of the weirdest offenses I’ve ever seen but it was damn fun to watch so I’ll give him that. And I was right the bag had a dress in it. Oh and it’s leopard print. Very sexy. Naturally you have two guys here that can wrestle with anyone in the world and are very popular and we’ll have one of them wear a dress. That’s WCW for you.
Wow I’ve said that a lot lately haven’t I? That arrogant pin causes Saturn to attempt to kill him. So much for that theory. Jericho is mostly in control here. And just as I say that so does Tony. I said it first. Ignore the 11 year time difference. Lionsault misses but Saturn catches him with a T-Bone. Nice one too. I love how casual Saturn is about this whole thing. It’s rather amusing. Saturn hits a nice splash and Tenay is too excited about Jericho wearing a dress.
We hit a pinfall reversal sequence which is always solid. They crank it up while WCW cranks up the fake cheering. Saturn gets a small package but Dickinson, the referee, shoves it over and we get a fast count for the pin for Jericho. Leave it to WCW to have a screwjob with a referee. That’s never happened before right? This is idiotic. Saturn puts it on and the referee zips him up. Yep, one of the best wrestlers in the world is in a dress and the referee caused it. But hey, Luger is still getting pushed right?
Rating: C-. Match was good, angle is idiotic. Wow where have we heard THAT before? Seriously, what is the point here again other than for the writers to have a laugh at Saturn? Is this supposed to be entertaining or something like that? Seriously, this is freaking stupid so of course it gets PPV time in WCW.
David Flair says he isn’t a wrestler but is going to be his Father’s partner anyway. Say it with me: Flair will get screwed by him eventually. They waited two months but it happened.
Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis
So it’s tagging in and out. In what should be a spotfest match. I hate WCW. Juvi has no mask at this point. We have the wrong information from the back about who is starting. What a shocking turn of events! Rey is just a really good cruiserweight that comes out to bad hip hop at this point, so don’t expect him to be anything epic here. Oh and he has a mask here.
We can’t have some popular guy with an accessory that sells well right? Screw that. We need to get rid of that thing that makes money RIGHT NOW! Ok so it IS Kidman vs. Rey to start. Does it fucking matter??? According to Tony it does of course. They’re arguing over whether there is a tag or not. Tony hates this as do I. The announcers have the same question: why tag out? You can’t win if you’re not in?
Maybe they realize that being champion means nothing special. Well better realizing it now than later on. It’s Juvi and Psicosis now. They won’t do any big jumps though. That might be too interesting I guess. Now we’re getting somewhere. Again, why are we tagging? Why am I trying to use logic on this fucking show? This is just a clusterfuck. It’s not interesting or anything. It’s just a clusterfuck.
Rey and Kidman are trying and when they do they’re getting some reactions, but still there’s just nothing of note going on here. Tony has issues keeping up with things. Really? Have you tried WATCHING THE MATCH? Naturally they’ve just said fuck the tags and are going all over the place LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Juvi FINALLY busts out a dive and hey, IT WAS COOL!
Rey does one also and amazingly, IT GETS A REACTION! Rey hits a springboard seated senton which is called a Thesz Press for general idiotic purposes. The fans chant USA. Well at least there’s one American based wrestler in it so I can’t make fun of them for it (Yes I know Rey is from California but he’s a luchador).
Tony says now they’re doing it like they should. Sure, TWELVE MINUTES INTO THE MATCH! FINALLY we hit Flippy City but the match is long past being interesting here. The fans keep quitting caring for awhile until a spot helps them. It’s Kidman and Juvi in there now. And there’s the Shooting Star for the pin to end this mess.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad, but the booking for it was all wrong. For one thing, DON’T GIVE THEM MORE THAN TEN MINUTES! The idea here is to be fast and full of action. With such little time, it makes it possible to seem cool. With 15 minutes, it gets boring. That and not doing a big spot for like 9 minutes is FUCKING STUPID. The guys were trying, but the booking was just idiotic.
Booker T says Jericho cheated. They’re going to have a match tomorrow.
Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Ric Flai/David Flair
So Hennig is NWO and Windham isn’t but the NWO is supposed to be a brotherhood for life but apparently it’s ok when beating on father son combinations in a glorified handicap match. Sure why not. Remember David is worthless beyond belief here. Flair is a 13 time champion here so he’s an amateur at this point. Thankfully he doesn’t have a robe too. From what I can find, this actually IS his debut. Yeah that’s not a bad idea at all is it?
Oh and Arn is in the faces’ corner. Flair threatens to send Hennig to WWF. PLEASE DO RIC! We get about 5 minutes of talking before the match and it just needs to end like now. So let’s have David start. Sure that can’t be a bad idea at all. And of course he can’t do anything at all. Are we really supposed to buy Flair, and I mean either of them, as some force? And we’ll just leave David in there to get his ass kicked.
Naturally Ric is the only one of his team that can do jack shit out there. Could it have to do with DAVID HAS NEVER WRESTLED BEFORE??? Windham hits the Superplex on Ric which won him a world title before and now it’s just a run of the mill move. That’s wrestling for you. Also, what is with guys just wrestling in jeans in this era? Is that supposed to look good or something? Wear freaking TIGHTS!
Hennig busts out a spinning toehold. I’ll ignore the annoyance of having three old guys in there and the only young one is Flair’s son that isn’t a wrestler. Hennig puts on the figure four. Now Windham goes for the figure four. The five minutes Flair has been in trouble for is now 20 by the way. Oh and Ric is President here.
Forgot/don’t care I guess. Arn pulls Hennig out and gets beaten down for it. Figure Four on Windham. David hits Hennig low and gets his ass almost kicked for it. Arn hits Hennig with a tire iron and David falls on him for the pin.
Rating: D-. I feel sorry for someone here, but I’m not sure who. Ric used his pull for his son to be a star and you can’t really blame David for his dad throwing him in there. The heels did what they could in a glorified handicap match. Oh that’s right: I feel bad for the audience. Why should they have to put up with terrible wrestling so Ric can be proud? It’s whatever though as it’s WCW.
Post match, the NWO A-Team come out and beat the hell out of the Flairs (I’m stunned too). Oddly enough, this is cheered. WCW, pay attention: no one likes David. Oh and aren’t you just STUNNED that Hogan can show up to make Flair look like an idiot all over again? No Goldberg and no Sting or anything of course. This is about Bischoff or some bullshit like that. Am I supposed to care about this and I’m just not getting it?
There might be 15 NWO people there. Liz is hot. Like really hot. Seriously, is this supposed to be entertaining? Hogan…go away. Seriously, just leave. This is 1996 all over again and the ratings are continuing to plummet. Whatever though. Oh and Hogan would beat Flair at SuperBrawl. Did you expect otherwise? Ah NOW we get a Hogan Sucks chant. After they cheered a lot. WCW, get your fake cheers straight.
We recap Luger, Hall, Hogan and Nash, as in the old guys, beating down Goldberg, as in the new guy. Perfect sense yes? How did this company ever make a damn dime? I’d love to know.
Scott Hall vs. Goldberg
So it’s a ladder match to get to a taser, but you have to use the taser to win. Sure why not. And we’re already talking about Flair instead of Goldberg. Yeah I’m not surprised either. SO let me get this straight. Hogan is here, but he’s not defending the title…why? Title matches main event PPVs 99% of the time, or they should, period. I always wanted one of those wolf face shirts. They looked awesome back in the day. Hey Yo gets a pop.
Apparently Hall broke the undefeated streak. Ok now remember, Goldberg was seen with a bad knee earlier, they promised updates all night, Hall says he has a knee injury, and let’s wait on the announcers thinking he’s got a knee injury. Let’s just wait on it. Additional information: he’s got a brace on it. AND HE’S LIMPING.
I love how when Buffer said Goldberg’s name it sounded like he was shivering on the berg part. I KNEW IT! TENAY FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!! He thinks Goldberg is favoring the knee! WCW announcers are fucking idiots. Hall is one of the top five pro wrestlers in the world apparently. WOW. It’s amazing how in WCW the crowd pops and then does nothing at all. As in they cheer but they don’t move.
Damn I forgot this was a ladder match. Brilliant stuff WCW, brilliant. Are we supposed to believe that Razor is good enough to be in a ladder match like he was five years before this? Goldberg is bleeding, so we cut away from the normal camera angles. You know, paint in the eyes and torture is fine, but not BLOOD. Goldberg gets his ass kissed more than Flair does and that’s saying a lot. I don’t think we’ve been past the 3rd run of the ladder yet. This is idiotic.
My goodness how fucking hard is it to use Goldberg? They fight for like 8 minutes, spear and Jackhammer and we’re done? SERIOUSLY HOW HARD IS IT??? Again we don’t even get to the third rung as Hall dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t fall but fucks up Goldberg’s knee anyway. Oh I almost forgot: the NWO put an X over the WCW logo too so both logos are crossed out.
We’ll ignore that WCW made the fucking mats and could have LEFT THE OTHER LOGO OFF and that there is apparently no one producing the show tonight. Goldberg goes for the ladder and here’s Disco Inferno. He can knock the thing over when Hall couldn’t. Sure why not. Hall gets the taser but can’t use the fucking thing. There’s some fan that is WAY too into this show.
Disco takes it and so does Hall (after a spear and Jackhammer like should have ended this mess in the first place), meaning Goldy wins. Oh one more thing: before Goldberg zaps him, we cut to the entrance ramp. No one is coming through, but we cut to it anyway. Back in the ring, Bigelow runs in after the zapping to beat up Goldberg. Hall is up in like 4 seconds and zaps them both to end the show with the NWO in charge. WOW.
Rating: F. Again: 8 minutes, spear, Jackhammer, pin. HOW CAN YOU FUCK THAT UP??? WCW did it. I don’t know how, but they DID IT. I cannot get over the fact that this company ever made a dime. I mean, they had Goldberg. They had THE ONE GUY THAT THE FANS ACTUALLY LIKED that they made and they messed him up for Scott Hall. WOW. This company is pathetic and they have two damn years to go. WOW.
Overall Rating: D-. I mean REALLY? This is just freaking inept. I know I bash TNA a lot, but there is NO WAY this is on TNA’s level. TNA is divine compared to this. There are things in TNA that you can point at. There are things in TNA you can boast about. There are things in TNA that are better than in WWE. This was GARBAGE. This was a love letter from the old guard of WCW to the old guard of WCW.
We made sure the good wrestlers were either made to look like fools or in nothing matches while the old guys reign on high. I am in fucking awe of this company and how pathetic they are. Seriously, this is A YEAR AFTER STING VS HOGAN and it’s the same shit. Literally, this might as well have been any show from 1996-1998 and you wouldn’t have known the damn difference. That’s not acceptable at all.
Due to Benoit and Chavo and Smiley working hard, this isn’t a failure. That’s it. That’s the appeal of this show. I can’t believe I sat through three hours of this. Get me some Russo stuff. It HAS to be better than this was.
Date: January 17, 1999
Location: Charleston Civic Center, Charleston, West Virginia
Attendance: 10,833
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan
Zero justification for doing this other than I was bored out of my mind with the stuff I was doing so I grabbed a random show and figured I’d do it. Might as well knock some random show out to spice things up a bit I guess. This is in the middle of WCW somehow managing to blow whatever they had left at the time, with WWF reigning on high at the moment and not looking back at all.
The Goldberg Streak had just ended the month before and we’re two weeks removed from the Fingerpoke of Doom. The main event is Goldberg vs. Hall in a ladder match but you win by using the stun gun so it’s a stun gun on a pole that you have to get with a ladder match. Amazingly, Russo was 9 months away. Remember this would be competing with Foley vs. Rock. Again, no reason for this but just felt like watching a random as hell show. Let’s get to it.
We open with a press conference from the President of WCW: Ric Flair. Apparently WCW is winning the war with the NWO! Yes, that’s what they’re talking about in 1999. I’m amazed. Is there even a war going on at this point or are they just around still? Hogan is world champion here. Egads man. Seriously is it 1997 or something?
It’s a night of revenge apparently for WCW. I have a very bad feeling about this show. David Flair debuts tonight. Oh joy. There’s a dress match tonight. And call the Hotline! I did that once. It sucked. You can’t understand Tony here.
There’s a disturbance backstage and Goldberg is holding his knee. Good to know. Seriously, how did they fuck up Goldberg? Seriously, HOW DID THEY DO THAT???
Mike Enos vs. Chris Benoit
And you wonder why they went out of business. A Beverly Brother is fighting Chris Benoit in the opening match of a damn PPV. Wow. Benoit is a Horseman here. This was around the time when Benoit, Malenko and Guerrero were just fucking fed up with Bischoff and were on the verge of leaving but they would hang around for another year. Giant showed up in WWF in a month so you could tell things were going bad.
The audio is horrible here as it’s actually hard to understand Tony and company. Apparently it’s obvious that the NEW NWO is responsible for this. Obvious indeed. Yep, they’re not going to talk about Benoit or Enos at all are they? Benoit was popular as hell here but he hadn’t held a major title (TV Champion) at all yet. This is physical if nothing else so that’s good. Apparently there’s a tag title tournament going on at the time.
The announcers talk up Benoit. He was popular and over and good. WHY NOT PUSH HIM??? Oh he’s under 40 and hasn’t been in WWF yet. There’s your reasoning. SWEET DAMN Benoit could throw a chop. Enos got a random singles push and of course nothing came of it after that but he had some passable power stuff. To be clear: this is a WCW event and not an NWO event.
You can tell this as the NWO logo on the mat has a red X painted over it. Seriously, let it go people. This really was the most overdone angle in history. It’s rather stupid to say the least. Enos keeps using power stuff and while it’s ok, this needs to end soon. It’s just been going on too long here. His chest is BLOOD red. Benoit chopped the living hell out of him. He busts out the Germans and you know what’s coming. The crossface ends it soon after.
Rating: B-. Solid stuff here as Benoit is just epic at this time. Enos was a jobber of the month but that’s fine as he was just built up for some guy like Benoit to take down. Now the thing is, Benoit never got above this level at least not with the whole winning aspect of it. His matches were always entertaining though. Seriously, name a bad Benoit match. Not so easy is it?
Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Norman has the ashes of Pepe the Stick Horse in an urn. Oh dear. Yeah it’s dumber than it sounds. Chavo was insane at the time and his stick horse got destroyed. Naturally it makes sense to take two incredibly talented guys like these two and have them in a feud over a damn toy horse. For those of you unfamiliar with him, Smiley is one of the best in the world.
Chavo is much better than he’s given credit for, so this should be a great match if given time and respect. Chavo looks like he’s showing off here so this should be fun. Norman used to do this dance where he more or less looked like he was fucking the other guy on the ropes called the Big Wiggle. Naturally he got over beyond belief and could wrestle to back it up. Naturally WCW made him a comedy character and wasted him.
Why use a guy with talent and experience that is wildly popular in something good or significant? We can’t do that now can we? He starts busting out some weird submissions that look like they would hurt like hell. Again, talented and popular. That’s DANGEROUS in WCW. WE MUST KILL THEM OFF! Now listen people. The fans are making noise when Smiley does things. It’s called cheering. That means the fans like him.
Pay attention to it now, as you won’t hear it that much later on. This is a clinic in submission wrestling in case you were wondering and it’s most entertaining. It really is sad that a guy that is talented and over like this is being wasted. It really is. Look at Benoit. Same thing. This is getting some time if nothing else. Damn shame that the fans are chanting boring and neither guy will get to do a damn thing. Tony, stop talking. You do it too much.
Smiley’s dance gets an EPIC pop. They might be going a bit long here. Yeah this needs to end. Again, the problem is that there is zero direction for this area of the card as neither is going to do anything or get any kind of significant push so despite how great they are out there, nothing is going to come of it, which is what killed the company to me. Starting with the Gory Special, they hit a ridiculous series of holds and reversals. This is good stuff.
And of course we have to hit the goofy stuff as Smiley throws sawdust (the ashes of the horse) in Chavo’s eyes and hooks Norman’s Conquest (Crossfaced Chickenwing) for the tap. That’s WCW for you. Get two great wrestlers to put on a clinic and then have them do a goofy as hell ending to keep anyone from taking them seriously. And you wonder why they went out of business.
Rating: B. Just a clinic here of submission wrestling that you’ll never see in modern wrestling. This was entertaining to no end until we had the stupid as hell ending. That’s WCW for you though. We can’t have good wrestlers get over. That’s not how you run a wrestling company, period.
Mark Madden (blocking out the sun already) asks Konnan what’s next for him. Konnan wants to know who decided to throw him out of the NWO.
Fit Finlay vs. Van Hammer
Yes it’s the same Finlay from WWE. Van Hammer was a guy that was pushed to the moon in 1991 and then disappeared for like 5 years. He came back as a hippie and then an anti-hippie who loved violence. We’ll ignore the fact that he completely sucked at that point. He’s on winning streak number I’d guess 7 here and is of course going to lose to Finlay here since Finlay is older. I used to be a huge Van Hammer fan. This match sucks beyond any reasonable belief. Again, it’s not terrible but it’s just not interesting at all. There’s nothing of note to talk about here. Finlay wins with the Tombstone to total silence.
Rating: D. Again, WHY SHOULD I GIVE A DAMN AND WANT TO PAY FOR THIS??? That’s never answered so what difference does it make at the end of the day? Just another match that won’t be remembered in like an hour or so.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath
Oh this could be BAD. Bigelow is (kind of) fresh from ECW and few care. He was a huge deal there but here he’s a meal for Goldberg and nothing more. Wrath is more commonly known as Adam Bomb in WWF. I liked him there more than I should have I think. This is your standard power vs. power thing so while it’s ok, it’s not great. You can tell Heenan’s heart isn’t really in this that much. The problem with this whole show so far is simple: the wrestling is ok, but there is no point to it.
I mean it’s like why in the world should I give a damn about anything I’m watching here? I have no idea why and for the most part I don’t care at all. It’s somewhat entertaining, but there’s nothing here I’m going to care about in a day or so. Wrath kicked the camera on a kickout. That’s kind of amusing. And both guys are down now. Wrath misses a charge and walks into Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t interesting at all.
Rating: D+. Again, not bad but at the same time there was nothing here that I’m going to remember in a day or so. There’s just no emotion in the whole company and there is even less direction. Why are these two fighting? It’s never explained. Are either going to do anything off of this win or loss?
Nope, because they’re not one of about 7 guys. No one ever had anything to gain in the company so guys like Benoit or Wrath or whoever had zero incentive to work hard. That’s not how you run a wrestling company.
Konnan vs. Lex Luger
Konnan is mad because Luger and Nash threw out of the Wolfpac. Another guy that got over with the crowd and was ok in the ring and would never get a single push. He certainly wasn’t the best wrestler in the world, but he was getting reactions. Isn’t that the point of talking and wrestling? To entertain the people? He’s doing that here and nothing is ever going to come of it.
Why isn’t it? Because of people like Luger who had some good matches 10 years earlier so naturally he still gets pushed today. Of course Luger is going to go over here. No one cares, so of course he’s going to go over. Now I’m not saying give Konnan the world title or anything, but if the fans are into him, LISTEN TO THEM! Seriously is it that hard? Hell in TNA Pope is getting pops and he got pushed. That’s INTELLIGENT! Pope isn’t the best in the company.
Hell he’s not even one of the good ones, but the fans like him so he got pushed. How hard is that? Luger says Konnan didn’t make the cut and we’re ready to go. I can’t hear Tony or Tenay. Literally, the (likely canned) cheering is that loud. Yeah it got cut off WAY too fast to be legit. Ok, even then, if you’re going to make the illusion of him being over, PUSH HIM. Oh yeah that’s very canned.
There was a tossed salad reference before the match. I forgot to mention that one and I know everyone reading this cares about it. Luger gets a ton of canned heat too. Ok now it’s just getting stupid. The crowd isn’t moving and apparently they’re cheering/booing people out of the building. Yeah that makes sense doesn’t it? Yeah all of a sudden the crowd is just DEAD. Luger is just boring as hell in the ring. Tell me more than 5 moves you’ve ever seen him do.
It’s been all Luger in case you were wondering. And here’s Liz with epic new boobs. Why is she here? Who cares. Why would we need something like an explanation? The Tequila Sunrise is on but she paints Konnan’s eyes. And the Rack ends it. You know what might help here? IF HIS EYES HAD PAINT ON THEM! Just wow I can’t believe how awful this company is at times. At least on the replay something comes out of the can.
Rating: D. Just boring as all hell here. The booking of course serves the good old boys and the NWO as the heel wins again. Why would anyone be surprised here? The match was boring as hell of course and it served no purpose. Yep it’s WCW baby!
Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn
The loser has to wear a dress. Why? Eh who cares about things like storylines? Jericho gets a solid pop. He’ll never get pushed of course. Can we please fix these damn audio issues? It’s really annoying. Jericho has Ralphus with him which was always pretty damn funny. They have a bag with them that’s a surprise. The referee doesn’t like Saturn. Ok then.
Jericho is hilarious here as he knows it’s a matter of time before he gets out and heads to WWF where he’ll be placed in a feud with Road Dogg and ultimately Benoit. Apparently there was a coin toss and Rey and Kidman will start the fatal fourway later on. Good to know. Not really but I thought I’d try to sound nice. Jericho is the only reason to watch this at the moment. Saturn is legit strange as you’ve likely known but it’s very true indeed.
The guy can work a decent match though. Saturn had one of the weirdest offenses I’ve ever seen but it was damn fun to watch so I’ll give him that. And I was right the bag had a dress in it. Oh and it’s leopard print. Very sexy. Naturally you have two guys here that can wrestle with anyone in the world and are very popular and we’ll have one of them wear a dress. That’s WCW for you.
Wow I’ve said that a lot lately haven’t I? That arrogant pin causes Saturn to attempt to kill him. So much for that theory. Jericho is mostly in control here. And just as I say that so does Tony. I said it first. Ignore the 11 year time difference. Lionsault misses but Saturn catches him with a T-Bone. Nice one too. I love how casual Saturn is about this whole thing. It’s rather amusing. Saturn hits a nice splash and Tenay is too excited about Jericho wearing a dress.
We hit a pinfall reversal sequence which is always solid. They crank it up while WCW cranks up the fake cheering. Saturn gets a small package but Dickinson, the referee, shoves it over and we get a fast count for the pin for Jericho. Leave it to WCW to have a screwjob with a referee. That’s never happened before right? This is idiotic. Saturn puts it on and the referee zips him up. Yep, one of the best wrestlers in the world is in a dress and the referee caused it. But hey, Luger is still getting pushed right?
Rating: C-. Match was good, angle is idiotic. Wow where have we heard THAT before? Seriously, what is the point here again other than for the writers to have a laugh at Saturn? Is this supposed to be entertaining or something like that? Seriously, this is freaking stupid so of course it gets PPV time in WCW.
David Flair says he isn’t a wrestler but is going to be his Father’s partner anyway. Say it with me: Flair will get screwed by him eventually. They waited two months but it happened.
Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis
So it’s tagging in and out. In what should be a spotfest match. I hate WCW. Juvi has no mask at this point. We have the wrong information from the back about who is starting. What a shocking turn of events! Rey is just a really good cruiserweight that comes out to bad hip hop at this point, so don’t expect him to be anything epic here. Oh and he has a mask here.
We can’t have some popular guy with an accessory that sells well right? Screw that. We need to get rid of that thing that makes money RIGHT NOW! Ok so it IS Kidman vs. Rey to start. Does it fucking matter??? According to Tony it does of course. They’re arguing over whether there is a tag or not. Tony hates this as do I. The announcers have the same question: why tag out? You can’t win if you’re not in?
Maybe they realize that being champion means nothing special. Well better realizing it now than later on. It’s Juvi and Psicosis now. They won’t do any big jumps though. That might be too interesting I guess. Now we’re getting somewhere. Again, why are we tagging? Why am I trying to use logic on this fucking show? This is just a clusterfuck. It’s not interesting or anything. It’s just a clusterfuck.
Rey and Kidman are trying and when they do they’re getting some reactions, but still there’s just nothing of note going on here. Tony has issues keeping up with things. Really? Have you tried WATCHING THE MATCH? Naturally they’ve just said fuck the tags and are going all over the place LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Juvi FINALLY busts out a dive and hey, IT WAS COOL!
Rey does one also and amazingly, IT GETS A REACTION! Rey hits a springboard seated senton which is called a Thesz Press for general idiotic purposes. The fans chant USA. Well at least there’s one American based wrestler in it so I can’t make fun of them for it (Yes I know Rey is from California but he’s a luchador).
Tony says now they’re doing it like they should. Sure, TWELVE MINUTES INTO THE MATCH! FINALLY we hit Flippy City but the match is long past being interesting here. The fans keep quitting caring for awhile until a spot helps them. It’s Kidman and Juvi in there now. And there’s the Shooting Star for the pin to end this mess.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad, but the booking for it was all wrong. For one thing, DON’T GIVE THEM MORE THAN TEN MINUTES! The idea here is to be fast and full of action. With such little time, it makes it possible to seem cool. With 15 minutes, it gets boring. That and not doing a big spot for like 9 minutes is FUCKING STUPID. The guys were trying, but the booking was just idiotic.
Booker T says Jericho cheated. They’re going to have a match tomorrow.
Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Ric Flai/David Flair
So Hennig is NWO and Windham isn’t but the NWO is supposed to be a brotherhood for life but apparently it’s ok when beating on father son combinations in a glorified handicap match. Sure why not. Remember David is worthless beyond belief here. Flair is a 13 time champion here so he’s an amateur at this point. Thankfully he doesn’t have a robe too. From what I can find, this actually IS his debut. Yeah that’s not a bad idea at all is it?
Oh and Arn is in the faces’ corner. Flair threatens to send Hennig to WWF. PLEASE DO RIC! We get about 5 minutes of talking before the match and it just needs to end like now. So let’s have David start. Sure that can’t be a bad idea at all. And of course he can’t do anything at all. Are we really supposed to buy Flair, and I mean either of them, as some force? And we’ll just leave David in there to get his ass kicked.
Naturally Ric is the only one of his team that can do jack shit out there. Could it have to do with DAVID HAS NEVER WRESTLED BEFORE??? Windham hits the Superplex on Ric which won him a world title before and now it’s just a run of the mill move. That’s wrestling for you. Also, what is with guys just wrestling in jeans in this era? Is that supposed to look good or something? Wear freaking TIGHTS!
Hennig busts out a spinning toehold. I’ll ignore the annoyance of having three old guys in there and the only young one is Flair’s son that isn’t a wrestler. Hennig puts on the figure four. Now Windham goes for the figure four. The five minutes Flair has been in trouble for is now 20 by the way. Oh and Ric is President here.
Forgot/don’t care I guess. Arn pulls Hennig out and gets beaten down for it. Figure Four on Windham. David hits Hennig low and gets his ass almost kicked for it. Arn hits Hennig with a tire iron and David falls on him for the pin.
Rating: D-. I feel sorry for someone here, but I’m not sure who. Ric used his pull for his son to be a star and you can’t really blame David for his dad throwing him in there. The heels did what they could in a glorified handicap match. Oh that’s right: I feel bad for the audience. Why should they have to put up with terrible wrestling so Ric can be proud? It’s whatever though as it’s WCW.
Post match, the NWO A-Team come out and beat the hell out of the Flairs (I’m stunned too). Oddly enough, this is cheered. WCW, pay attention: no one likes David. Oh and aren’t you just STUNNED that Hogan can show up to make Flair look like an idiot all over again? No Goldberg and no Sting or anything of course. This is about Bischoff or some bullshit like that. Am I supposed to care about this and I’m just not getting it?
There might be 15 NWO people there. Liz is hot. Like really hot. Seriously, is this supposed to be entertaining? Hogan…go away. Seriously, just leave. This is 1996 all over again and the ratings are continuing to plummet. Whatever though. Oh and Hogan would beat Flair at SuperBrawl. Did you expect otherwise? Ah NOW we get a Hogan Sucks chant. After they cheered a lot. WCW, get your fake cheers straight.
We recap Luger, Hall, Hogan and Nash, as in the old guys, beating down Goldberg, as in the new guy. Perfect sense yes? How did this company ever make a damn dime? I’d love to know.
Scott Hall vs. Goldberg
So it’s a ladder match to get to a taser, but you have to use the taser to win. Sure why not. And we’re already talking about Flair instead of Goldberg. Yeah I’m not surprised either. SO let me get this straight. Hogan is here, but he’s not defending the title…why? Title matches main event PPVs 99% of the time, or they should, period. I always wanted one of those wolf face shirts. They looked awesome back in the day. Hey Yo gets a pop.
Apparently Hall broke the undefeated streak. Ok now remember, Goldberg was seen with a bad knee earlier, they promised updates all night, Hall says he has a knee injury, and let’s wait on the announcers thinking he’s got a knee injury. Let’s just wait on it. Additional information: he’s got a brace on it. AND HE’S LIMPING.
I love how when Buffer said Goldberg’s name it sounded like he was shivering on the berg part. I KNEW IT! TENAY FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!! He thinks Goldberg is favoring the knee! WCW announcers are fucking idiots. Hall is one of the top five pro wrestlers in the world apparently. WOW. It’s amazing how in WCW the crowd pops and then does nothing at all. As in they cheer but they don’t move.
Damn I forgot this was a ladder match. Brilliant stuff WCW, brilliant. Are we supposed to believe that Razor is good enough to be in a ladder match like he was five years before this? Goldberg is bleeding, so we cut away from the normal camera angles. You know, paint in the eyes and torture is fine, but not BLOOD. Goldberg gets his ass kissed more than Flair does and that’s saying a lot. I don’t think we’ve been past the 3rd run of the ladder yet. This is idiotic.
My goodness how fucking hard is it to use Goldberg? They fight for like 8 minutes, spear and Jackhammer and we’re done? SERIOUSLY HOW HARD IS IT??? Again we don’t even get to the third rung as Hall dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t fall but fucks up Goldberg’s knee anyway. Oh I almost forgot: the NWO put an X over the WCW logo too so both logos are crossed out.
We’ll ignore that WCW made the fucking mats and could have LEFT THE OTHER LOGO OFF and that there is apparently no one producing the show tonight. Goldberg goes for the ladder and here’s Disco Inferno. He can knock the thing over when Hall couldn’t. Sure why not. Hall gets the taser but can’t use the fucking thing. There’s some fan that is WAY too into this show.
Disco takes it and so does Hall (after a spear and Jackhammer like should have ended this mess in the first place), meaning Goldy wins. Oh one more thing: before Goldberg zaps him, we cut to the entrance ramp. No one is coming through, but we cut to it anyway. Back in the ring, Bigelow runs in after the zapping to beat up Goldberg. Hall is up in like 4 seconds and zaps them both to end the show with the NWO in charge. WOW.
Rating: F. Again: 8 minutes, spear, Jackhammer, pin. HOW CAN YOU FUCK THAT UP??? WCW did it. I don’t know how, but they DID IT. I cannot get over the fact that this company ever made a dime. I mean, they had Goldberg. They had THE ONE GUY THAT THE FANS ACTUALLY LIKED that they made and they messed him up for Scott Hall. WOW. This company is pathetic and they have two damn years to go. WOW.
Overall Rating: D-. I mean REALLY? This is just freaking inept. I know I bash TNA a lot, but there is NO WAY this is on TNA’s level. TNA is divine compared to this. There are things in TNA that you can point at. There are things in TNA you can boast about. There are things in TNA that are better than in WWE. This was GARBAGE. This was a love letter from the old guard of WCW to the old guard of WCW.
We made sure the good wrestlers were either made to look like fools or in nothing matches while the old guys reign on high. I am in fucking awe of this company and how pathetic they are. Seriously, this is A YEAR AFTER STING VS HOGAN and it’s the same shit. Literally, this might as well have been any show from 1996-1998 and you wouldn’t have known the damn difference. That’s not acceptable at all.
Due to Benoit and Chavo and Smiley working hard, this isn’t a failure. That’s it. That’s the appeal of this show. I can’t believe I sat through three hours of this. Get me some Russo stuff. It HAS to be better than this was.
