klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Slamboree 1995
Date: May 21, 1995
Location: Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan
We’re back to WCW as I continue to try to plow through this awful period for the company as we’ve still got a YEAR before the NWO showed up to save the wrestling world. On paper this card looks freaking terrible to say the least. However, given my experience with WCW and this time period, it won’t be terrible.
It’ll be so far beyond terrible that I’ll be looking for a blunt object to bash my head in during the main event. In this case, it’s Hogan and Savage vs. Vader and the returning Flair. Any bets on how long Flair gets to wrestle before jobbing to Hogan? Let’s get to it.
Oh and it’s the Legends Reunion again, which something tells me even fewer will care about.
Should be noted that in the opening video, Sting is listed as a legend of tomorrow while Hogan and Savage are considered the top stars of today. Most interesting. Most odd choice for a commentary team too. Apparently Meng vs. Hawk has been thrown onto the card. Bad to know.
We recap the Nasty Boys (who are still wrestling on PPV tonight, 15 years later somehow) vs. Harlem Heat. There’s an easier way to do this than by making a video package: watch any of the last three PPVs where this has been the tag title match.
WCW Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat
The Nastys are the face challengers here and there’s no Brian Knobbs. Check the concession stand. Apparently this is going to start as a handicap match. Sherri is FREAKY looking here. I guess you could call the crowd warm. Maybe a bit hot but not full on hot. Sags actually punches Sherri in the face. That’s different if nothing else. Yep they’re letting Sags dominate. Oh dear. Eric isn’t that good on commentary yet to say the least.
Wait, this is a street fight? It certainly doesn’t look like one. Sags chases Sherri so the Heat can take over. Booker comes in to put some talent in there. The Nastys were announced as being from New York yet Eric says they’re both from Tampa. I love when the announcers just don’t pay attention at all. I love the Harlem Hangover. Booker gets the slowest two count of all time. This really is a handicap match for the most part which is rather odd indeed.
Heenan says it would be merciful to stop the match. I think the same as Bobby Heenan, meaning I am made of win. And here’s Knobbs with tape on his ribs. Apparently Knobbs beat up two doctors to get out here. Have fun with those lawsuits Brian. He freaking LAUNCHES Sherri over the ropes onto Stevie. That name just doesn’t fit him at all. And Sags hits a top rope elbow on Booker for the titles. Bischoff saying that this is Against All Odds makes me chuckle. The Blue Bloods come out and stare at them.
Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of the handicap aspect was at all and it was rather stupid. The match wasn’t very good either but thankfully this was the last tiemt ehy went head to head. Not a great or even good match but the fans were into it so there we are.
On a related note, by the time this aired, the Nastys had already lost the titles. There had been a massive TV taping on May 3 where the Nastys lost the tag belts back to Harlem Heat, so they won them 18 days after losing them. While I’ll spare you from the laundry list of reasons why this is dumb, here’s a new one: why should the Nastys even try to improve? They’re going to lose the titles on television in about a month anyway, so at house shows etc, what’s the point in even trying?
The Nastys say they said they’d do it. Eric should not be allowed to say Gino.
Kevin Sullivan is fighting Brutus who is currently known as The Man With No Name. Do I even need to make fun of this?
Kevin Sullivan vs. The Man With No Name
I’ll spare the jokes of The Man With No Name being a name in and of itself. This is a grudge match apparently and they immediately start brawling. I might need a drink for this one. WOW I really couldn’t care less about this match if I tried. This would somehow spiral into the Dungeon of Doom a few days later with Sullivan finding the Master, an old guy, covered in dust and other things associated with being old.
Naturally he was able to talk. It’s somehow dumber than it sounds. Apparently Sullivan is hearing the voice already. Naturally we hear it too because we can hear his inner thoughts. Yeah Brutus is the face here before turning heel again in like a week. Sullivan wins with the running knee in the corner and the stomp. The Master, the guy that he would find in a cave (in Parts Unknown apparently) comes on the screen and tells Sullivan to come find him so they can destroy Hogan.
Ok, hang on a second. This guy is covered in dust. He’s in a CAVE. HOW IN THE HELL DOES HE KNOW WHAT HOGAN IS DOING??? Third, HOW DO YOU GET ELECTRICAL CORDS TO RUN A CAMERA INSIDE A FREAKING CAVE??? This is 1995, not 2010. It’s not like you can do a remote signal without electricity. Even with that, you need power for the lighting. Also, there is someone there filming. Either that or he went to Best Buy and got a tripod.
Also, HE’S IN A DAMN CAVE WITH DUST ALL OVER HIM AND WANTS TO DESTROY HOGAN. WHAT IS HOGAN DOING TO HIM IN THERE??? I mean think about it. HE LIVES IN A FUCKING CAVE!!! How is Hogan being world champion in WCW hurting this guy? THIS MAKES NO SENSE! Are the bats wearing bandanas and singing I Want To Be A Hulkamaniac?
Oh yeah the match. Sullivan pinned Beefcake (that's who it was if I didn't mention that).
Rating: F. Why do you think I talked about the old guy in the cave the entire time? Moving on.
Jimmy Hart, now in TNA, is joined by Hogan and Savage. Hogan has no belt for some reason. Savage’s father is here tonight to go into the HOF. Good for him.
Angelo Poffo, Savage’s dad, is happy.
Wahoo McDaniel vs. Dick Murdoch
Yep it’s a legends match. And it’s in black and white. Oh dear. Gordon Solie is with Heenan here. Something tells me this is going to be dumb. Wahoo is rather fat. Who actually adjusts their sets? This is odd as hell looking. Murdoch would be dead in a few months. This is light years behind Funk vs. Blanchard last year. This is little more than two old guys beating on each other.
The problem is there are so few people out there that know who these guys are which is why this is a relatively dumb idea. This black and white thing is freaking stupid. What’s the point in having it in black and white? I just don’t get it. This referee is reaching Brian Armstrong levels of bad refereeing. And Wahoo hits the chop out of nowhere for the win.
Rating: D-. They were both big and fat and slow. The chop was a regular chop and it’s enough to get a pin? I get the idea, but at what point does it reach embarrassing for guys their age? This wasn’t terrible but on a national PPV, this was a joke.
Big Bubba is ready for Sting.
IWGP Title: Great Muta vs. Paul Orndorff
Uh, yeah. Can someone show me the point of PAUL FREAKING ORNDORFF getting a title shot in 1995? In other words, we have a guy that is nearly 10 years past being relevant vs. a Japanese guy that made 1/5 of the crowd has heard of for a title that means nothing in America. Works for me. Bischoff saying we are back in color is rather dumb sounding if you think about it. Apparently Muta is on the verge of being a Japanese legend. Riiight.
I know Muta is great, but this is going to be brutal. Eric says American wrestling is slightly different than other countries. That’s just amusing. Muta is the face by default here. Muta’s hair is either really tall or his Wiki entry is wrong. He’s listed at 6’0 and Paul is 6’1, yet Muta is about 3 inches taller here. We start the match meaning we start the stalling. That’s so cute. Bischoff thinks he knows something.
Apparently Orndorff is the toughest wrestler in the world or something. Crowd is dead by the way as Paul works on the arm for no apparent reason. Yeah that’s brilliant: a high flying martial artist that’s taller than I am. Sounds like a candidate for arm work to me. WOW. Muta hit a dropkick. Nothing odd there obviously, but here is word for word with pauses put in of how Eric called it: A jump………..double………kick. IT’S A FUCKING DROPKICK YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
Why in the world is he in charge of a wrestling company if he doesn’t know one of the three moves that Jerry Lawler can pull off? I don’t know what to say. We hit another chinlock and no one cares at all. The fans are tired of this boring style and I can’t blame them.
Muta works in spurts of like 40 seconds at a time and in a match that’s gone nearly ten minutes so far, that’s just freaking bad. Hey look, more chinlocking! This match needs to end like now. It’s 1995 and this guy is getting PPV time. What is so great about Paul? I freaking don’t get it at all. FINALLY the moonsault, which Bischoff doesn’t know the name of either, ends this torture.
Rating: D-. Paul Orndorff is having a title match on a 1995 pay per view. REALLY? I mean seriously who thought that was a good idea? Either way, the match was boring as hell as it was mostly chinlock. Why would I want to see that at all? It was just complete and utter crap all around and that’s mainly on Paul. Just a terrible match that made no sense.
We get a recap I guess you would say of Alex Wright vs. Arn Anderson. More or less Anderson is TV Champion and Wright has won a lot. There you are.
Arn calls himself Mr. Anderson. That’s very funny. Flair and Vader are with him and talk down to Hogan.
Terry Funk is here.
TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Alex Wright
Wright’s song is as addictive as music in wrestling can be. And then you get the theme of the Horsemen so you can’t go wrong there. Wright is undefeated here. Bischoff is really annoying on commentary to say the least. And now we’re laying around on the mat a lot. Bischoff is clearly not ready to be doing a show like this but to be fair, he’s definitely trying and you can’t ask for much more than that.
Wright uses an STFU. John Cena stole a move from Alex Wright! (To the 5-6 people that will complain about me not knowing what I’m talking about and how Chono or whoever else used it for a long time, this is what we call a JOKE. I know Cena didn’t invent it and I know the real name of the move) Wright was a guy that really could have been something if they used him right. It’s weird to say that but he really was pretty good.
And all of a sudden Eric is talking about the Holyfield fight from the previous night? The hell? A BRILLIANT ending here as Arn pulls back for a punch and stops when Wright ducks, hooks the head and the DDT ends it. Love that for some reason.
Rating: D+. Not bad but nothing special at all. It’s ok I guess and fine for a TV title defense. Wright more or less was worthless for awhile after this though so either that was planned or they fucked up. Either way, not terrible but nothing great or notable by any stretch of the imagination.
Meng vs. Hawk
There was zero transition here by the way. Penzer says he believes Meng is accompanied by Robert Parker. Never heard that before. Bischoff really needs to stop those long pauses in his talking. Heenan says this man is just a machine. Ok then. Hawk gets a freaking ROAR. Eric: “Here you’re getting a match that would be a main event match anyplace in the world.” WOW. Meng is dominating in this MAIN EVENT MATCH.
Hawk of course no sells a piledriver because that’s what he does. This has been pretty much all Meng at this point. Fuck it I’m tired of being completely wrong on this timing thing. I love this sequence. Meng keeps using this complicated sequence of kicks and Hawk just hits him. There’s something awesome about that. Both guys are on the floor and I think I know what’s coming. Eric thinks it’s a Chicago Street Fight. Who cares if we’re in Florida? Yep I’m right: double count out.
Rating: F+. And that’s just because of that hitting sequence. This was really weak and apparently there’s bad blood now. Good to know I guess. Who thought it was a good idea to continue giving Hawk singles matches? I never got that.
Time for the Hall of Fame inductions. Gordon Solie hosts. All is right with my world. Apparently we have six inductees.
Wahoo McDaniel. This guy was TOUGH. He played football and wrestled and actually was better on the field than he was in the ring. He challenged Flair a lot but like most others never beat him. Solie tells a “funny little story” about him getting hurt badly in a match four days before reporting to training camp. Not funny but whatever.
Terry Funk. They point out that he’s still active in wrestling which translates to ECW. He actually looks normal here other than his sweat band. Solie says when he won the world title it was the best inside cradle he’s ever seen. Terry: HI MOM! That was funny. The trophy looks weird as all hell. It’s like a weird looking torch kind of thing I guess you’d say. Nice speech as he says God bless wrestling.
Angelo Poffo. No one including Solie thought he should be in the Hall of Fame but Savage, his son, more or less demanded it and they used him in an angle with Flair. This is the WCW version of George Steele or Koko B. Ware. Solie left WCW because of the induction. His speech is a thing saying go faces in the main event.
Antonio Inoki. At least there are a few guys here that make sense. This guy is someone that you owe it to yourself to look up. He’s a legit great wrestler and is the equivalent of a Senator in Japan. An interpreter delivers his speech and it’s rather good indeed. It does amuse me that Inoki wanted to promote peace in the world (nothing wrong with that) through a violent sport.
Big John Studd. This is another odd one but I think it’s because he had died just recently. Yeah he died two months before this. This is really short which is fine I guess. Studd’s son accepts for him. His son is like 12 but the idea here is fine.
Dusty Rhodes. Amazing I know right? Yes the fat man with the ego the size of his ass gets into the Hall of Fame in the company that he was partially running. Rhodes is the epitome of a guy that convinced everyone he was great but never actually had that many good matches. Rhodes was a guest lecturer at the University of South Florida??? Solie says he could go on all night about Rhodes. Shocking I know. There’s a young boy with him that I can only assume is one Cody Rhodes. Dusty’s speech is of course longer than most of the others put together.
BUT WAIT!
Dusty comes back to the mic (yeah I’m stunned too) and says there’s one more inductee. Solie starts looking around and you can see him being really confused. Yep, Solie is the 7th inductee. If he knew about this beforehand, he deserves an acting award as he looks legit surprised. Cool moment.
Sting says tonight won’t be like Uncensored and he’ll win. As basic as you could ask for but Sting’s charisma makes it cool.
Sting vs. Big Bubba Rogers
You know who he is so I’ll save the Boss Man jokes. This is a Lights Out match whatever that means. I hope it’s not what I think it is. Sting brings a table with him for no adequately explored reason. Lights Out means no rules I guess. Bischoff says everywhere he goes people are talking about this company. Buyrates suggest otherwise but what do I know? To my complete shock, Sting starts out in control.
Why does it have to be an Irish whip? Why not a Sly or Shocky whip? We go to the floor and fight over the table which leads nowhere. Bubba takes over by throwing powder in his eyes. Sweet damn this is just boring somehow.
Heenan gets a good line in of saying that since Bubba used to be a cop maybe they were powdered doughnuts that he took with him. Sting splashes the table as I think they were trying to appeal to the ECW audience at this point. And Sting hooks the Scorpion for the tap out to thankfully end this thing.
Rating: D. It’s not bad, but DAMN it was boring. That’s the best way to describe the whole show: not bad but just boring as hell. I mean it’s Sting vs. Big Boss Man. You would think that would at least be decent, but somehow they managed to make this as uninteresting as possible. That’s WCW for you though I guess.
We preview the main event which is just a big tag match with nothing on the line as Flair is returning. Oh the faces are the MONSTER MANIACS now. Renegade is with the faces and Anderson is with the heels. Good to know.
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Vader
Hmm, Flair and Hogan in a big match. I wonder what’s going to happen in the end. I have no idea why I’m bothering to watch this as the ending is as obvious as physically possible. Bischoff makes sure to point out that the fans came to see Hogan. He ignores the other probably 15 world titles in the ring, not to mention everyone else on the card. Renegade of course gets his own entrance, being the least talented of the 6.
Anderson has to pretend to be afraid of him and this is just stupid. Vader and Hogan start us off here. Vader would be gone in a few months to WWF to be replaced by the returning Luger. The faces are completely dominating here. Flair cheats to take over as you can see why this match means nothing at all: the match means nothing at all. It’s a tag match that proves nothing either way. Hogan will still be champion no matter what so why would I want to see this match? That makes no sense at all.
Oh look Hogan is beating up Flair. That’s a relief. For a minute there I thought WCW might be doing something new. I couldn’t handle that! The heels finally take over for a bit here. Oh and there was an appearance of a guy that we couldn’t see clearly. He would become known as the Giant, or later on as he’s known now, the Big Show.
They very kind of imply that he looks like Andre, which would be where they went with it. Vader fucks up and shoves the referee across the ring. Naturally since that’s not the finish though he lets it go. The Vader Bomb hits but we have no cover. One from the top misses though and both he and Hogan are down. Yep still not interesting. Oh and Hogan might have died had that top rope Bomb hit. Did Savage vs. Vader ever happen?
That could have been decent. Flair gets slammed off the top for the second time in the match. That can’t be fun. Arn interferes to let the heels take over again. Renegade is fierce apparently. The moonsault hits on Savage and as Hogan makes the save he kicks out anyway. Just a reminder: Angelo Poffo is IN THE HALL OF FAME.
Hogan gets the hot tag and of course, beats the hell out of Flair. After a melee and some botched interference from Anderson, say it with me, HOGAN PINS FLAIR!!! The heels beat up Savage afterwards and then they beat up Angelo Poffo to the shock of no one as no one cares. Savage vs. Flair was the main event of the Great American Bash.
Rating: C+. Not bad I guess. It’s your standard main event tag match with nothing on the line which I never like at all. It was your run of the mill stuff with the heels beating down the faces for a good while until the heels mess up. Nothing too hardcore but nothing bad either.
Overall Rating: F-. This had ZERO business being a Pay Per View, end of argument. There is NOTHING here that is worth paying to see. This could and should have been on TV as a special or a Clash of the Champions or something like that. It was like a love letter to Hogan as he and Savage were made to look like gods here. That was WCW’s problem: they insisted on having the same stuff over and over again and it crippled Flair for the most part.
This is three times in under a year that Hogan has pinned Flair clean on PPV. That’s just absurd as all the heels were handed to Hogan and it killed the company. A year after this they had to make Hogan a heel and then THEY DID IT AGAIN, only this time as a heel that crushed all of the faces. In short: Hogan strangled WCW. BIG failure here as it was just crap all around.
Date: May 21, 1995
Location: Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan
We’re back to WCW as I continue to try to plow through this awful period for the company as we’ve still got a YEAR before the NWO showed up to save the wrestling world. On paper this card looks freaking terrible to say the least. However, given my experience with WCW and this time period, it won’t be terrible.
It’ll be so far beyond terrible that I’ll be looking for a blunt object to bash my head in during the main event. In this case, it’s Hogan and Savage vs. Vader and the returning Flair. Any bets on how long Flair gets to wrestle before jobbing to Hogan? Let’s get to it.
Oh and it’s the Legends Reunion again, which something tells me even fewer will care about.
Should be noted that in the opening video, Sting is listed as a legend of tomorrow while Hogan and Savage are considered the top stars of today. Most interesting. Most odd choice for a commentary team too. Apparently Meng vs. Hawk has been thrown onto the card. Bad to know.
We recap the Nasty Boys (who are still wrestling on PPV tonight, 15 years later somehow) vs. Harlem Heat. There’s an easier way to do this than by making a video package: watch any of the last three PPVs where this has been the tag title match.
WCW Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat
The Nastys are the face challengers here and there’s no Brian Knobbs. Check the concession stand. Apparently this is going to start as a handicap match. Sherri is FREAKY looking here. I guess you could call the crowd warm. Maybe a bit hot but not full on hot. Sags actually punches Sherri in the face. That’s different if nothing else. Yep they’re letting Sags dominate. Oh dear. Eric isn’t that good on commentary yet to say the least.
Wait, this is a street fight? It certainly doesn’t look like one. Sags chases Sherri so the Heat can take over. Booker comes in to put some talent in there. The Nastys were announced as being from New York yet Eric says they’re both from Tampa. I love when the announcers just don’t pay attention at all. I love the Harlem Hangover. Booker gets the slowest two count of all time. This really is a handicap match for the most part which is rather odd indeed.
Heenan says it would be merciful to stop the match. I think the same as Bobby Heenan, meaning I am made of win. And here’s Knobbs with tape on his ribs. Apparently Knobbs beat up two doctors to get out here. Have fun with those lawsuits Brian. He freaking LAUNCHES Sherri over the ropes onto Stevie. That name just doesn’t fit him at all. And Sags hits a top rope elbow on Booker for the titles. Bischoff saying that this is Against All Odds makes me chuckle. The Blue Bloods come out and stare at them.
Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of the handicap aspect was at all and it was rather stupid. The match wasn’t very good either but thankfully this was the last tiemt ehy went head to head. Not a great or even good match but the fans were into it so there we are.
On a related note, by the time this aired, the Nastys had already lost the titles. There had been a massive TV taping on May 3 where the Nastys lost the tag belts back to Harlem Heat, so they won them 18 days after losing them. While I’ll spare you from the laundry list of reasons why this is dumb, here’s a new one: why should the Nastys even try to improve? They’re going to lose the titles on television in about a month anyway, so at house shows etc, what’s the point in even trying?
The Nastys say they said they’d do it. Eric should not be allowed to say Gino.
Kevin Sullivan is fighting Brutus who is currently known as The Man With No Name. Do I even need to make fun of this?
Kevin Sullivan vs. The Man With No Name
I’ll spare the jokes of The Man With No Name being a name in and of itself. This is a grudge match apparently and they immediately start brawling. I might need a drink for this one. WOW I really couldn’t care less about this match if I tried. This would somehow spiral into the Dungeon of Doom a few days later with Sullivan finding the Master, an old guy, covered in dust and other things associated with being old.
Naturally he was able to talk. It’s somehow dumber than it sounds. Apparently Sullivan is hearing the voice already. Naturally we hear it too because we can hear his inner thoughts. Yeah Brutus is the face here before turning heel again in like a week. Sullivan wins with the running knee in the corner and the stomp. The Master, the guy that he would find in a cave (in Parts Unknown apparently) comes on the screen and tells Sullivan to come find him so they can destroy Hogan.
Ok, hang on a second. This guy is covered in dust. He’s in a CAVE. HOW IN THE HELL DOES HE KNOW WHAT HOGAN IS DOING??? Third, HOW DO YOU GET ELECTRICAL CORDS TO RUN A CAMERA INSIDE A FREAKING CAVE??? This is 1995, not 2010. It’s not like you can do a remote signal without electricity. Even with that, you need power for the lighting. Also, there is someone there filming. Either that or he went to Best Buy and got a tripod.
Also, HE’S IN A DAMN CAVE WITH DUST ALL OVER HIM AND WANTS TO DESTROY HOGAN. WHAT IS HOGAN DOING TO HIM IN THERE??? I mean think about it. HE LIVES IN A FUCKING CAVE!!! How is Hogan being world champion in WCW hurting this guy? THIS MAKES NO SENSE! Are the bats wearing bandanas and singing I Want To Be A Hulkamaniac?
Oh yeah the match. Sullivan pinned Beefcake (that's who it was if I didn't mention that).
Rating: F. Why do you think I talked about the old guy in the cave the entire time? Moving on.
Jimmy Hart, now in TNA, is joined by Hogan and Savage. Hogan has no belt for some reason. Savage’s father is here tonight to go into the HOF. Good for him.
Angelo Poffo, Savage’s dad, is happy.
Wahoo McDaniel vs. Dick Murdoch
Yep it’s a legends match. And it’s in black and white. Oh dear. Gordon Solie is with Heenan here. Something tells me this is going to be dumb. Wahoo is rather fat. Who actually adjusts their sets? This is odd as hell looking. Murdoch would be dead in a few months. This is light years behind Funk vs. Blanchard last year. This is little more than two old guys beating on each other.
The problem is there are so few people out there that know who these guys are which is why this is a relatively dumb idea. This black and white thing is freaking stupid. What’s the point in having it in black and white? I just don’t get it. This referee is reaching Brian Armstrong levels of bad refereeing. And Wahoo hits the chop out of nowhere for the win.
Rating: D-. They were both big and fat and slow. The chop was a regular chop and it’s enough to get a pin? I get the idea, but at what point does it reach embarrassing for guys their age? This wasn’t terrible but on a national PPV, this was a joke.
Big Bubba is ready for Sting.
IWGP Title: Great Muta vs. Paul Orndorff
Uh, yeah. Can someone show me the point of PAUL FREAKING ORNDORFF getting a title shot in 1995? In other words, we have a guy that is nearly 10 years past being relevant vs. a Japanese guy that made 1/5 of the crowd has heard of for a title that means nothing in America. Works for me. Bischoff saying we are back in color is rather dumb sounding if you think about it. Apparently Muta is on the verge of being a Japanese legend. Riiight.
I know Muta is great, but this is going to be brutal. Eric says American wrestling is slightly different than other countries. That’s just amusing. Muta is the face by default here. Muta’s hair is either really tall or his Wiki entry is wrong. He’s listed at 6’0 and Paul is 6’1, yet Muta is about 3 inches taller here. We start the match meaning we start the stalling. That’s so cute. Bischoff thinks he knows something.
Apparently Orndorff is the toughest wrestler in the world or something. Crowd is dead by the way as Paul works on the arm for no apparent reason. Yeah that’s brilliant: a high flying martial artist that’s taller than I am. Sounds like a candidate for arm work to me. WOW. Muta hit a dropkick. Nothing odd there obviously, but here is word for word with pauses put in of how Eric called it: A jump………..double………kick. IT’S A FUCKING DROPKICK YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
Why in the world is he in charge of a wrestling company if he doesn’t know one of the three moves that Jerry Lawler can pull off? I don’t know what to say. We hit another chinlock and no one cares at all. The fans are tired of this boring style and I can’t blame them.
Muta works in spurts of like 40 seconds at a time and in a match that’s gone nearly ten minutes so far, that’s just freaking bad. Hey look, more chinlocking! This match needs to end like now. It’s 1995 and this guy is getting PPV time. What is so great about Paul? I freaking don’t get it at all. FINALLY the moonsault, which Bischoff doesn’t know the name of either, ends this torture.
Rating: D-. Paul Orndorff is having a title match on a 1995 pay per view. REALLY? I mean seriously who thought that was a good idea? Either way, the match was boring as hell as it was mostly chinlock. Why would I want to see that at all? It was just complete and utter crap all around and that’s mainly on Paul. Just a terrible match that made no sense.
We get a recap I guess you would say of Alex Wright vs. Arn Anderson. More or less Anderson is TV Champion and Wright has won a lot. There you are.
Arn calls himself Mr. Anderson. That’s very funny. Flair and Vader are with him and talk down to Hogan.
Terry Funk is here.
TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Alex Wright
Wright’s song is as addictive as music in wrestling can be. And then you get the theme of the Horsemen so you can’t go wrong there. Wright is undefeated here. Bischoff is really annoying on commentary to say the least. And now we’re laying around on the mat a lot. Bischoff is clearly not ready to be doing a show like this but to be fair, he’s definitely trying and you can’t ask for much more than that.
Wright uses an STFU. John Cena stole a move from Alex Wright! (To the 5-6 people that will complain about me not knowing what I’m talking about and how Chono or whoever else used it for a long time, this is what we call a JOKE. I know Cena didn’t invent it and I know the real name of the move) Wright was a guy that really could have been something if they used him right. It’s weird to say that but he really was pretty good.
And all of a sudden Eric is talking about the Holyfield fight from the previous night? The hell? A BRILLIANT ending here as Arn pulls back for a punch and stops when Wright ducks, hooks the head and the DDT ends it. Love that for some reason.
Rating: D+. Not bad but nothing special at all. It’s ok I guess and fine for a TV title defense. Wright more or less was worthless for awhile after this though so either that was planned or they fucked up. Either way, not terrible but nothing great or notable by any stretch of the imagination.
Meng vs. Hawk
There was zero transition here by the way. Penzer says he believes Meng is accompanied by Robert Parker. Never heard that before. Bischoff really needs to stop those long pauses in his talking. Heenan says this man is just a machine. Ok then. Hawk gets a freaking ROAR. Eric: “Here you’re getting a match that would be a main event match anyplace in the world.” WOW. Meng is dominating in this MAIN EVENT MATCH.
Hawk of course no sells a piledriver because that’s what he does. This has been pretty much all Meng at this point. Fuck it I’m tired of being completely wrong on this timing thing. I love this sequence. Meng keeps using this complicated sequence of kicks and Hawk just hits him. There’s something awesome about that. Both guys are on the floor and I think I know what’s coming. Eric thinks it’s a Chicago Street Fight. Who cares if we’re in Florida? Yep I’m right: double count out.
Rating: F+. And that’s just because of that hitting sequence. This was really weak and apparently there’s bad blood now. Good to know I guess. Who thought it was a good idea to continue giving Hawk singles matches? I never got that.
Time for the Hall of Fame inductions. Gordon Solie hosts. All is right with my world. Apparently we have six inductees.
Wahoo McDaniel. This guy was TOUGH. He played football and wrestled and actually was better on the field than he was in the ring. He challenged Flair a lot but like most others never beat him. Solie tells a “funny little story” about him getting hurt badly in a match four days before reporting to training camp. Not funny but whatever.
Terry Funk. They point out that he’s still active in wrestling which translates to ECW. He actually looks normal here other than his sweat band. Solie says when he won the world title it was the best inside cradle he’s ever seen. Terry: HI MOM! That was funny. The trophy looks weird as all hell. It’s like a weird looking torch kind of thing I guess you’d say. Nice speech as he says God bless wrestling.
Angelo Poffo. No one including Solie thought he should be in the Hall of Fame but Savage, his son, more or less demanded it and they used him in an angle with Flair. This is the WCW version of George Steele or Koko B. Ware. Solie left WCW because of the induction. His speech is a thing saying go faces in the main event.
Antonio Inoki. At least there are a few guys here that make sense. This guy is someone that you owe it to yourself to look up. He’s a legit great wrestler and is the equivalent of a Senator in Japan. An interpreter delivers his speech and it’s rather good indeed. It does amuse me that Inoki wanted to promote peace in the world (nothing wrong with that) through a violent sport.
Big John Studd. This is another odd one but I think it’s because he had died just recently. Yeah he died two months before this. This is really short which is fine I guess. Studd’s son accepts for him. His son is like 12 but the idea here is fine.
Dusty Rhodes. Amazing I know right? Yes the fat man with the ego the size of his ass gets into the Hall of Fame in the company that he was partially running. Rhodes is the epitome of a guy that convinced everyone he was great but never actually had that many good matches. Rhodes was a guest lecturer at the University of South Florida??? Solie says he could go on all night about Rhodes. Shocking I know. There’s a young boy with him that I can only assume is one Cody Rhodes. Dusty’s speech is of course longer than most of the others put together.
BUT WAIT!
Dusty comes back to the mic (yeah I’m stunned too) and says there’s one more inductee. Solie starts looking around and you can see him being really confused. Yep, Solie is the 7th inductee. If he knew about this beforehand, he deserves an acting award as he looks legit surprised. Cool moment.
Sting says tonight won’t be like Uncensored and he’ll win. As basic as you could ask for but Sting’s charisma makes it cool.
Sting vs. Big Bubba Rogers
You know who he is so I’ll save the Boss Man jokes. This is a Lights Out match whatever that means. I hope it’s not what I think it is. Sting brings a table with him for no adequately explored reason. Lights Out means no rules I guess. Bischoff says everywhere he goes people are talking about this company. Buyrates suggest otherwise but what do I know? To my complete shock, Sting starts out in control.
Why does it have to be an Irish whip? Why not a Sly or Shocky whip? We go to the floor and fight over the table which leads nowhere. Bubba takes over by throwing powder in his eyes. Sweet damn this is just boring somehow.
Heenan gets a good line in of saying that since Bubba used to be a cop maybe they were powdered doughnuts that he took with him. Sting splashes the table as I think they were trying to appeal to the ECW audience at this point. And Sting hooks the Scorpion for the tap out to thankfully end this thing.
Rating: D. It’s not bad, but DAMN it was boring. That’s the best way to describe the whole show: not bad but just boring as hell. I mean it’s Sting vs. Big Boss Man. You would think that would at least be decent, but somehow they managed to make this as uninteresting as possible. That’s WCW for you though I guess.
We preview the main event which is just a big tag match with nothing on the line as Flair is returning. Oh the faces are the MONSTER MANIACS now. Renegade is with the faces and Anderson is with the heels. Good to know.
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Vader
Hmm, Flair and Hogan in a big match. I wonder what’s going to happen in the end. I have no idea why I’m bothering to watch this as the ending is as obvious as physically possible. Bischoff makes sure to point out that the fans came to see Hogan. He ignores the other probably 15 world titles in the ring, not to mention everyone else on the card. Renegade of course gets his own entrance, being the least talented of the 6.
Anderson has to pretend to be afraid of him and this is just stupid. Vader and Hogan start us off here. Vader would be gone in a few months to WWF to be replaced by the returning Luger. The faces are completely dominating here. Flair cheats to take over as you can see why this match means nothing at all: the match means nothing at all. It’s a tag match that proves nothing either way. Hogan will still be champion no matter what so why would I want to see this match? That makes no sense at all.
Oh look Hogan is beating up Flair. That’s a relief. For a minute there I thought WCW might be doing something new. I couldn’t handle that! The heels finally take over for a bit here. Oh and there was an appearance of a guy that we couldn’t see clearly. He would become known as the Giant, or later on as he’s known now, the Big Show.
They very kind of imply that he looks like Andre, which would be where they went with it. Vader fucks up and shoves the referee across the ring. Naturally since that’s not the finish though he lets it go. The Vader Bomb hits but we have no cover. One from the top misses though and both he and Hogan are down. Yep still not interesting. Oh and Hogan might have died had that top rope Bomb hit. Did Savage vs. Vader ever happen?
That could have been decent. Flair gets slammed off the top for the second time in the match. That can’t be fun. Arn interferes to let the heels take over again. Renegade is fierce apparently. The moonsault hits on Savage and as Hogan makes the save he kicks out anyway. Just a reminder: Angelo Poffo is IN THE HALL OF FAME.
Hogan gets the hot tag and of course, beats the hell out of Flair. After a melee and some botched interference from Anderson, say it with me, HOGAN PINS FLAIR!!! The heels beat up Savage afterwards and then they beat up Angelo Poffo to the shock of no one as no one cares. Savage vs. Flair was the main event of the Great American Bash.
Rating: C+. Not bad I guess. It’s your standard main event tag match with nothing on the line which I never like at all. It was your run of the mill stuff with the heels beating down the faces for a good while until the heels mess up. Nothing too hardcore but nothing bad either.
Overall Rating: F-. This had ZERO business being a Pay Per View, end of argument. There is NOTHING here that is worth paying to see. This could and should have been on TV as a special or a Clash of the Champions or something like that. It was like a love letter to Hogan as he and Savage were made to look like gods here. That was WCW’s problem: they insisted on having the same stuff over and over again and it crippled Flair for the most part.
This is three times in under a year that Hogan has pinned Flair clean on PPV. That’s just absurd as all the heels were handed to Hogan and it killed the company. A year after this they had to make Hogan a heel and then THEY DID IT AGAIN, only this time as a heel that crushed all of the faces. In short: Hogan strangled WCW. BIG failure here as it was just crap all around.