Second Round: Dallas - Antonio Inoki vs. Samoa Joe

[klunderbunker]

This is a second round matchup in the Dallas Subregion. The ring and arena are universal throughout the first round and the organization is not a factor. There is a 20 minute time limit. Vote using any criteria you like. Most votes in the poll at the end of the time period wins. In the case of a tie we will go off of the number of written votes. In the case of a second tie, both are eliminated. Assume one week has passed since the first round ended.

Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas.

Antonio Inoki

Vs.

Samoa Joe

Voting is open for 4 days.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Well, there are two main possibilities for this match:

1) Antonio Inoki is a powerful sorcerer, hence him magically appearing in this match. Somoa Joe goes for a powerslam? Be prepared for one of Inoki's patented energy blasts from his Staff of Improbability. Muscle Buster time? More like Powerful-hex-that-shrinks-your-penis time. A rear naked choke, perhaps? Only if Joe is prepared to look into the eyes of the Mighty Serpent of Karak-doom.

It'd be like Lord of the motherfucking Rings, only with less logic.

2) Antinio Inoki committed suicide in the fashion that I described in the previous thread - sumurai sword, belly, you get the picture - and is therefore a rotting corpse in the middle of the ring at this point. Of course, this could go either way. Samoa Joe is probably good enough to get a pin on a rotting corpse, but what if its shoulder breaks off? Most of the match would be Joe searching around for the shoulder. He'd eventually wander out of the ring and be counted out.

OK, I know what you're going to say - Joe would just make Inoki tap out. He's a corpse, dumbass - you can't make him tap out. And if he's not disqualified for being deceased, he's hardly going to be disqualified for failing to answer to the count of ten, is he?

Basically, I don't see any situation in which Joe wins this one.

 

[Coco]

I like where Sam's head is at, but he might be a little bit off. Inoki-Punk wasn't the only first round match to take place in the Reunion Arena, so kayfabe and my loose understanding of probability suggest that Inoki's body has been removed from the ring by this point. As a result, Samoa Joe winning via forfeit is the new Vegas odds favorite.

BUT WAIT. There's more. Don't celebrate just yet, Joe fans. I know that you all think Joe is just going to waltz in and get his hand raised, but you fail to take into account the effect this all-but-certain forfeit will have on Joe's attitude regarding the second round. You see, Joe's a man who gets motivated before a match by anticipating his opprotunity to kill somebody. In this contest, he's been robbed of that. As a result, he's more susceptible than usual to be distracted by a medium-rare piece of good old fashioned Texas steer (complete with fixings from JR's kitchen to yours). If the Yakuza are really as involved in this tournament as is suggested, who's to say they wouldn't send Joe several complimentary steaks to make sure he's too busy to show up for his match? At that point, all it will take is the Yakuza making sure part of Inoki finds it's way back into the ring (probably the missing shoulder), and you've got the makings of this year's big Ultimate Opprotunist leaving his mark on the second round.

Inoki takes the win in a match that will be described as "the best Inoki match of of 2010."

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Much better. Another ROH legend and another Inoki victim. Fat Joe is less talented than CM Punk and twice his size. Inoki would teach Joe a lesson and cut some bacon off his fat ass in this match.

Joe is probably humbled in about 7 minutes by Inoki. And then Joe will bow and get smacked in the face by Inoki to give him strength.

Inoki. Boomba yay!

 

[8thwotwATG]

There isn't a submission or hold that Samoa Joe knows that Inoki doesn't have a counter for. Inoki squashes another victim in a match that he should cruise through.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Inoki. Boomba yay!

There isn't a submission or hold that Samoa Joe knows that Inoki doesn't have a counter for. Inoki squashes another victim in a match that he should cruise through.

Now these are two clearly well informed voters. Pay special attention to how, as I've bolded, Lariat has even attempted to imitate one of Inoki's patented spells. It won't work for him of course, don't be silly - he's not a sorcerer. Only sorcerers and certain species of squirrel (it's either red or grey, I can never remember) are capable of such potent magic.

My good friend, uh, 8thwotwATG is acutely aware of the energy safeguards that Inoki has put in place to prevent submissions. Remember, he's a motherfucking sorcerer after all. Inoki's Forcefield of Eternity will, as any experienced player of Dungeon and Dragons will know, make him invulnerable to pain. Oh, but what about the rear naked choke, which would deprive Inoki of air? Pah! Air is for *****es.

Besides, the cunt already killed himself. As if that whole "breathing" thing is going to deter him now.

 

[gd]

It has to be Joe here. I'm going to play the "he's had a much bigger influence on my wrestling viewing experience than Antonio Inoki can ever dream of" card. Some great arguments were thrown around last round like Inoki being a "legend" and having a "legendary" career in Japan and having beat a bunch of "legends." The fact of the matter is, what do any of us know about this Japanese mystery man? Not a lot.

What about Samoa Joe? We sure know a lot about he. We know he had some fantastic, some may even say 5 star matches with the likes of CM Punk, AJ Styles, and Daniels. We know he's the most athletic fat guy in wrestling. We know he has beaten the likes of Kurt Angle, Booker T, and others. Joe may have had his spurts of shit, but he's in TNA so that's to be expected. Joe is the easy vote.

Edit: After reading the sorcerer arguments, I don't feel as confident. I'm still holding out hope though.

 

[klunderbunker]

Has to be Inoki here. Joe, despite how much hype he gets here, just isn't that good. he's a fat guy that got over huge in a tiny company. Now he's in TNA and he's been a letdown. Anyone remember anything good about his world title reign? he comes back about every 6 months and destroys the X Division, gets built up like a monster and then turns into this whiny fat kid that sounds like someone knocked his ice cream and Capri Sun over. Inoki wins this in a walk due to not being overrated as hell.

 

[Via Armbar]

There isn't a submission or hold that Samoa Joe knows that Inoki doesn't have a counter for. Inoki squashes another victim in a match that he should cruise through.

I'm going to agree with the guy who just slammed his face into the keyboard when choosing his username. Joe is seen a somewhat of a submission specialist, or at least that's what I've heard. What Japanese legend comes to mind when you mention submission specialists? Inoki. He's better than Joe at what Joe does best. Joe may have an advantage with his power and striking, but he isn't going to finish Inoki off with those things. He is going to try to choke him out and that's when Inoki will reverse him into a submission of his own and stretch Joe out.

If greatness was measured in ice cream cones eaten, Joe would walk away with this. Unfortunately for him, his annoying fans overrating him has done him in. So my vote is for the better man.

Not to mention a vote for Joe is like a vote for Christian Battlez.

 

[future admin]

oh crap, Joe is dead.I havent watched inoki, but I have heard he is a very great wrestler. Bad luck joe, you had a bad run, but, theres always next year

 

[Tastycles]

Inoki probably. Joe has consistently failed to produce anything resembling interest in his career since debuting, and as much as I've been convinced of Inoki's shitness by people what know what they are talking about in the previous round, I'm pretty sure he could overcome Joe, who has always wrestled in promotions where the foreigners don't do half bad.

 

[D-Man]

I just can't seem to get on this Samoa Joe bandwagon. I mean, when TNA first started, Joe was a monster. He almost got me believing that a chubby guy could be tough. But then I imagined him eating a bacon cheeseburger and reminded myself that he's just a fat guy.

Inoki, however, is just superior to Joe in every way. Submission? Inoki's got him covered. Power? Inoki was a beast. Fighting? Inoki was an MMA fighter. Overall look? Inoki's got that in the bag.

Inoki should kill Joe here.