klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Sacrifice 2008
Date: May 11, 2008
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
It's the final part of the TNA trio I've been trying to knock out and we have a Russo staple: WEIRD TAG PARTNERS!!! So basically Eric Young was in one of his stupid things as Super Eric and for some reason Super Eric can't be a tag champion and refuses to admit that he's Eric Young or vice versa so the tag titles he and Kaz won are stripped. The results is a Deuces Wild tag tournament, meaning half regular teams, half random teams. Oh and Joe vs. Steiner and someone else to be determined in Joe's first PPV title defense. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about how Angle wants to be champion. Wait he's not fighting for the title tonight. Oh ok it's everyone talking about how they want the title. The main focus here is on Angle and Joe. Angle was supposed to be in the main event in the spot I referred to as someone else to be determined. Angle legitimately injured his neck so we have to pick someone else later on in the show.
JB is waiting on Kurt to get here and he says he's out of the main event. If he injures his neck again it might be the end of his career. Wrestlemania is mentioned as is the Smackdown World Title. Kurt quit talking about shows that are better than this one.
Earlier today Scott Steiner, Petey Williams and Rhaka Khan get out of a car. Steiner has no comment on Angle's injury which he just heard about. He wants a one on one match with Scott. Rick Steiner is there too. And so is Nash, all out of the same car. Nash being there is supposed to be shocking it seems.
Joe gets here too. Dang man is there anything to do other than wait on people to arrive? Isn't there a wrestling match to get to? I guess even TNA knows this stupid tag tournament isn't worth watching. It's news to Joe about the neck injury and he wishes he put Angle down. He doesn't care who is going to be in the ring because he'll keep the title. Joe is told Nash and Steiner arrived together and leaves without saying anything, looking angry.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: Team 3D vs. James Storm/Sting
Storm is still in his AMW garb and has been feuding with Sting a bit lately. Yeah that's another of Russo's trademarks: tag partners that hate each other. Seeing Sting as not crazy is kind of a nice change of pace given his current gimmick. These pairings are being announced as the show goes on. Storm wants to start as does Sting so we have our first argument 15 seconds into the match.
D-Von vs. Storm gets us going and Storm slaps him in the back of the head to tick him off a little. Elbow gets two for D-Von and it's off to Bubba/Bully. The fans want Sting but they get Jackie instead. Storm finally lets Sting come in but he isn't happy with it. Ray starts a 21 chant, meaning this is their 21st tag title they're going for. YOU THINK THAT'S ENOUGH???
Sting runs Ray around for a bit so the fat boy hits the floor for a time of chilling. D-Von comes in and has a bit better luck. Storm is still mad. He comes in without a tag to step on D-Von's fingers a bit and they get in a fight. The distraction lets the real tag team take over on Sting with double teaming. I think 3D are heels but I'm not 100% sure. You never can quite tell with them.
Storm sits on the apron facing the crowd drinking a beer while Sting is getting destroyed. I'd expect to see a lot of things like that tonight because Russo finds this stuff funny. A middle rope headbutt gets two for D-Von. Sting fights them off on his own but misses a Stinger Splash to both guys in one corner and D-Von hits What's Up. Storm is chilling on the apron and it's table time.
Sting fights them off and has a staredown with Team 3D. Storm gets behind 3D also and has a beer. They let Sting beat Storm up to a big pop as he slams Storm through the table. He lets D-Von get the easy pin (was Storm even legal?) showing that the idea of sacrificing something to win the titles means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING so far.
Rating: D+. So yeah, I'd expect a lot of matches like this until we get rid of the pointless random teams and get down to the real matches with the real teams. Russo put in an entire first round for his own amusement I suppose instead of having, you know, interesting/good matches. Sting vs. Storm is a feud that didn't go anywhere other than Sting destroying him in a match that might have been on PPV and that's it. This was worthless and more or less an extended workout for the Dudleys.
Frank Trigg, an MMA guy, is here and talks about Kurt's injury a bit. He had an MMA match with AJ on PPV and it was horrible. This takes like three minutes to say somehow.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: Robert Roode/Booker T vs. Christian Cage/Rhyno
Roode's partner was a surprise to him and guess what: THEY'RE FEUDING TOO!!! I mean what are the odds of that??? They get in an argument before their opponents are even here yet. Roode vs. Rhyno to get us going. Off to Christian after not much from the man beast. Unprettier is loaded up but it's too early for that. Even Tenay thinks that and since it's Tenay in TNA, it must be obvious.
By process of elimination, BG James and Awesome Kong will be partners. Roode wants to prove he can do this himself so he won't tag Booker in. The fans want him in but SCREW THEM I'M A HEEL! Booker applauds Roode and Roode is like yeah, I know I'm good. Roode puts a front facelock on Christian and Booker is getting a bit more interested now.
Christian manages to plant him and both crawl to the corners. Booker tags himself in and Rhyno acts like a good partner and waits for a tag so Christian gets caught. Booker is all fired up and pounds away, hitting a big bad drop. Axe kick misses and Christian hits the reverse DDT for two. Rhyno comes in now and does nothing of note with Booker before it's off to Roode. Roode tries his fisherman's suplex but is caught by a quick Gore for the pin.
Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was and it was terribly stupid at the same time. We get it already: the partners don't like each other and they don't care what happens to them for the sake of not getting along. We saw it in the first match and now we saw it in the second one. And the thing is, we're only two matches in. This was junk and the ending was horribly rushed.
Booker congratulates the winners post match. Post congratulations he hits them both with a chair, turning heel.
Steiner and Nash argue about something involving Joe. Steiner offers Nash a title shot in exchange for helping him win the title and Nash thinks about it.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: Kip James/Matt Morgan vs. LAX
Yeah because why would we want to see Kip James and BG James reunite as the Outlaws in this match? Kip and Matt were the only ones that were previously known which is how we knew BG and Kong were going to be partners. Homicide vs. Kip to start us off and Kip makes fun of his height. He puts Homicide on the top rope to be a jerk. Homicide kicks him in the face because that's what people do to jerks.
Homicide busts out the tope con hilo and Hernandez teases a huge dive but the random team moves. Morgan comes in and hits Old School for two. We're just waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez to kill everyone dead. Kip beats on Homicide a bit but misses a splash in the corner and here's SuperMex. The big men slug it out and Morgan is sent to the floor. Morgan and Kip try their finishers at the same time and it doesn't go well, with Morgan kicking Kip and Hernandez grabs the pin to advance.
Rating: D. Hey look: not traditional tag partners having communication problems. I won't even yell about it being the same thing we've seen in all three matches now. LAX dominated here and was never in any real trouble other than being bullied by Kip and his oddly colored tights. This was at least shorter.
AJ isn't sure what to do about facing Kong in the next match when Angle runs in to yell at him, accusing him of sleeping with Karen. AJ didn't check on him when he was injured and Angle yells more. Styles doesn't answer about Karen.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: BG James/Awesome Kong vs. Super Eric/AJ Styles
So yeah this is the guy that caused all the problems. I'm shocked too: Eric Young being insane and messing up title situations. AJ is the Prince of Phenomenal or whatever here, meaning he has a crown. James vs. Eric to start us off. AJ tags himself in and speeds things up with the dropkick. Off to Kong and AJ isn't sure what to do here. She hits the spinning backfist and he's shaken but not down.
AJ gets in a shot so she hits him in the balls. BG hits an atomic drop and that should be illegal. AJ and Eric are a normal team here as Eric is subbing for AJ's regular partner Tomko who was injured in Japan. Back to Kong who sits on AJ's chest after a counter to the Awesome Bomb. BG tries his dancing punches so AJ takes him down with a Pele. Hot tag brings in Young who hits a Swanton for two. Eric dives out on Kong as AJ botches a springboard something. They go to a fast ending as AJ rolls up James for the pin. I think there might have been an injury there.
Rating: D+. Well it wasn't good but it was less bad than the rest of them. The ending might have been due to an injury and if it was then there's little to complain about. Not a bad match but the losing team had no real reason to be together, especially when you could have had the Outlaws as the other real team and put AJ, Kong, Eric and Morgan in the wild card spots. Then again that would make sense so we know that's not happening.
Here are the updated brackets:
Team 3D
Christian Cage/Rhyno
LAX
AJ Styles/Super Eric
So yeah, the four regular teams made it and the four wildcard teams were eliminated. I'm stunned too.
Cornette will announced the replacement for Angle later tonight.
Rick Steiner looks about 65 years old, is here to support his brother and that's it.
Video on the TerrorDome which is the new concept match debuting tonight. It's shaped like the Elimination Chamber but there's a hole at the top. You have to climb through the hole and the first person out wins. Now let's show why TNA can't get their ideas right. You'll get it quickly.
Curry Man vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed vs. Shark Boy vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Kaz vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal
Sure we can put TEN PEOPLE in a cage and expect it to be coherent in any way, shape or form. TNA: redefining overdoing it every night. Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future against I think Petey Williams. Shark Boy is Stone Cold here and it's just so stupid. Cornette comes out and says the winner gets to be in the main event in Angle's place. For the record, the total time of the entrances and Cornette's announcement and lowering the ceiling on the Dome: 7:31. Longest match so far tonight: 8:45.
Everyone but Rave and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian/Japanese curry company mascot) go onto the cage walls and try to escape. The six sided ring is bigger so there's some extra room but since everyone is on the walls it's hard to call anything. The Guns take over with speed and Creed makes a run for the top. Kaz, ever the scholar, uses Creed's arms as a slingshot to drop a leg on someone instead of pulling him down. Creed, also the lunkhead, drops down to beat up Kaz.
Another problem is that everyone is wearing black tights except for the people that aren't so you can barely tell most of them apart. They mess up the Tower of Doom pretty badly and Dutt escapes the Spice Rack to Dutt. You can't really call anything but spots here and it's really annoying because of that. Creed hits a DDT on Rave. Shelley takes a Chummer (Stunner) from Shark Boy.
Sabin and Shark Boy mess something up badly but Kaz takes him out with a spinning downward spiral. Dutt has been chilling on the roof for awhile so Curry Man takes him down. Rave takes a Spice Rack off the top rope. There's nothing else to report here other than these random spots. They're flashy looking and cool but there's no coherence or flow to it at all.
Curry shoves Kaz off the top rope and goes up, only to have Kaz come stop him. Rave pulls him off the top with a Codebreaker and Devine hits a Devine Intervention (double underhook piledriver) to Creed. Shouldn't the afro shield him from that? Rave goes up and Kaz pulls him off. It's certainly good that 8 people were in the middle of the ring and no one was going after Kaz who escapes to advance to the title match later.
Rating: B-. Yeah it's fun but there's no way you can tell what's going on for the most part here. This needed to be about 5 guys at most and they could have gotten something going. It's a nice change to the cage match formula so of course TNA never used it as anything resembling that since they're not incredibly intelligent at times. This was fun but it really needed to be tweeked.
Joe doesn't care about Kaz winning or about Nash. He chokes JB because that's what he does.
Tenay and West fill time by talking about the main event while the Dome is taken down.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: Christian Cage/Rhyno vs. Team 3D
Rhyno is messed up from the chair shot earlier as is Christian. D-Von jumps Christian to start and Ray has an advantage when he starts with the Canadian. A neckbreaker gets two. D-Von works on the neck also. Christian fires off some chops and brings in Rhyno. He loads up the Gore but Ray makes the save. D-Von works over Rhyno now but gets caught in a spinebuster to put both guys down.
There's a hot tag to Christian who cleans a few rooms and then dives to the floor to take out both Dudleys. From a kayfabe perspective, why would they stand there to let him him them? I know they have to for his safety but why would they do that? It doesn't make sense. Ray sends Christian into the steps twice as D-Von gets the referee's attention. D-Von works on the neck even more as I'm sensing a theme here.
Off to Ray who takes too much time on the top and gets caught in a rana by Christian to put both guys down. There are the double tags to bring in D-Von and Rhyno with Rhyno in control. What's Up is broken up by Christian and they get to double team. Johnny Devine is here with a kendo stick and the Unprettier is broken up by Ray. We get left with Rhyno vs. D-Von in the ring and Rhyno hitting a powerslam for two. He hits the Gore but Devine starts coming in, letting Ray clock Rhyno with the kendo stick for the pin and the spot in the finals.
Rating: C. By far and away the best tag match of the night so far because, wait for it, wait for it.....THERE WERE REAL TAG TEAMS IN IT. Instead of having two guys that either didn't team together regularly or hated each other, we had regular teams and we got a decent match out of it. Best match of the night but the tournament is wearing thin as LAX vs. Team 3D probably has been the only possible final all night.
Nash isn't worried about Joe and says let's go find him and see what he says.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: AJ Styles/Super Eric vs. LAX
Can we just watch Salinas dance for the last hour of this show? Homicide vs. AJ to start and they fly around the mat a bit. They hit stereo cross bodies and it's off to Eric vs. Hernandez. Eric sends him to the floor and then charges at the guy that uses a slingshot shoulder block when he's coming back in. Surprisingly, he gets hit by a slingshot shoulder block.
Now Eric wants a test of strength. Well what would an Eric Young match be without silly comedy? Young does get a solid bridge in there with Hernandez laying on his chest and it still doesn't break. Ok that was impressive. Young sends SuperMex to the floor and uses the referee to help with getting to the top. Why he needed the help I'm not sure but logic has never been a big deal in Eric matches.
AJ is back in now and has less success with Hernandez. Well he is a heel here so his abilities do go down a bit. The springboard forearm takes Hernandez down though and it's back to Super Eric. Hernandez gets put in a chinlock by AJ after Eric did nothing at all. Hernandez realizes he's a big strong guy and takes AJ down, setting up the double tags. Hernandez hooks a delayed vertical suplex on Eric and LAX takes over. Homicide tries the Gringo Killa but Eric makes the save. In a REALLY stupid ending, AJ rolls up Homicide but Hector turns it over. Despite AJ's arm being 8 inches off the mat the pin counts anyway.
Rating: C+. Good match but again: what's the point in these teams fighting? It's the problem with one night tournaments: there are no real reasons for these matches to happen and when you have seven matches in one night, they get really dull after awhile, even when the matches are ok. The last two matches have been much better though.
LAX vs. Team 3D in the finals.
Samoa Joe's family, a bunch of so stereotypical it's borderline racist (for some reason) Samoans, talk about how awesome Joe is.
We recap the Knockout situation. This is another stupid and overdone concept match which has most of the Knockouts in it. They have a regular battle royal and then the final two people in it have a ladder match. The winner of THAT gets a Knockout Title shot sometime later. The loser is shaved bald.
Knockouts Battle Royal
Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Rhaka Khan, Salinas, Christy Hemme, ODB, Roxxi Laveaux, Jacqueline, Traci Brooke, Gail Kim
For absolutely no apparent reason, Gail cannot have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, the last person eliminated from the battle royal has her head shaved instead. I'll give Vince Russo 10 bucks to explain his own stories. Roxxi puts Salinas out (not over the top) less than 30 seconds in. Velvet does some fighting from the apron and yeah it's only there to have a nice shot from behind her. She's out a few seconds later.
Traci is gone and the fans chant for ODB. Khan puts Christy out. They're going out so fast that you can't really keep track of who is still in there. Jackie and ODB double team Khan and Love joins them to get rid of the tall one. Jackie and ODB go out within seconds of each other and Angelina is out at the hands of Roxxi to put us down to Roxxi and Gail.
Gail Kim vs. Roxxi Laveaux
This is a ladder match and if Roxxi wins, Angelina's head is shaved. This is officially the same match so I'll rate it all together. The fans all cheer for Roxxi because Angelina isn't a nice person. Gail sets up the ladder and goes up quickly but Roxxi makes the save. I see no point whatsoever to this being a ladder match but it's TNA so what difference does it really make?
Gail puts the ladder in the corner for no apparent reason. She gets taken down and Angelina throws in a ladder of her own. Gail does look good in those TINY shorts. She powerbombs Roxxi off the ladder and might be busted a bit. Angelina interferes again and gets dropped by Roxxi. Roxxi gets a SICK spinebuster to Gail onto the ladder and here's Angelina again....and she's gone already. She and Velvet shove Roxxi off the ladder and Gail gets the contract.
Rating: D. Well let's see. The matches combined to take about 8 minutes, the eliminations were pedestrian and nothing particularly interesting happened. On the other hand, Gail showed off a lot of skin and the other girls looked good too so we can't call it a total loss. Again though: why was it a ladder match? Can someone explain that to me?
The haircut eats up some time and we get a Fire Russo chant.
Nash and JB go to find Joe and Joe yells a lot. Nash says it's a swerve but I guess he thinks Steiner isn't watching the show. Joe says he doesn't need Nash. Nash says he won't be at the main event tonight and Joe says if he does show up, Joe is taking him out.
Saving Abel and Billy Corrigan are here.
Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D
Wow the top face team is facing the top heel team in the finals. Who saw this coming? We get little clips talking about how each team got here. 3D gets in Hector's face so Homicide gets a running start and takes Bubba out with a tope con hilo. It's a brawl on the ramp to start with no one really having a distinct advantage. I'm not sure if this is part of the match or not.
Ray gets in some weak weapon shots and sends Hernandez into the steps. No one has been in the ring yet. Ok now we do have people in there with D-Von vs. Homicide and the bell finally rings after about three minutes of brawling. D-Von is sent to the floor almost immediately but Ray shoves Homicide off the top to prevent a dive. The fans chant 187 as the Dudleys control.
Delayed vertical gets two for D-Von. Ray throws on a triangle choke/head scissors as again we're waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez to do the dominating. Tenay says Team 3D is taking advantage of a situation here. Well yeah, just like any team would do. There's the tag to Hernandez and we go old school with a double noggin knocker. He puts them both on the floor with a double dropkick and then hits a huge dive.
Devine is here again and he pulls out a table. Hector comes around and the power of Lazertron puts Devine down. Hector goes up top and jumps through Devine and the table which more or less was a dropkick while a guy was on the table. It was weird but the guy is retired. Back in the ring Hernandez takes a superplex and a top rope headbutt for two. 3D gets two on Homicide because D-Von let him up. Oh ok he wasn't legal. Homicide hits something like a rana off the top (after being down for maybe 8 seconds off a 3D). D-Von goes up top and gets caught in a Border Toss and a frog splash for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C+. Fun brawl but the tournament took forever to get here. It wasn't bad or anything but it's the third time tonight we've seen these teams. You can only get so into them here which is the problem that these one night tournaments have. The final was probably the best match but not by all that much.
Slammiversary is going to be in Memphis. This brings out Eric Young (not Super Eric) who says that he's going to bring Elvis to the show. Oh for Pete's sake.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kaz vs. Scott Steiner
Frank Trigg is on commentary because wrestling companies think we watch wrestling to see MMA. Joe gets a big tribal dance thing. After some big match intros we're ready to go. Kaz grabs a rollup on Steiner 10 seconds in and a second one 20 seconds in. Joe is like screw this and runs them both over, unleashing some kicks. He cleans house and puts a half Liontamer on Kaz.
Steiner runs over for the save and is immediately put in a Fujiwara armbar. Now Kaz is in a Texas Cloverleaf. See, this is what I like Joe doing: throwing on random holds because that's what he's supposed to be good at. A clothesline puts Steiner on the floor and he hits his face on the apron. Kaz tries that spinning springboard legdrop but Joe moves. Trigg is actually offering ideas and strategy, suggesting that Steiner and Kaz should join up and double team Joe to take him out. I have no problem with someone that wants to be there and is trying. Trigg is doing both.
Steiner sends Joe into the railing outside and it's Kaz vs. Steiner with the roided one in control. Scott hits a Samoan Drop off the middle rope for two on Kaz. Is that gimmick infringement? Joe is beating him like he stole something so maybe it was. Steiner busts out the suplexes and puts Joe in the Recliner. He does what no one could do in 2000 and stands up, letting Kaz hit a dropkick in the form of a Doomsday Device to put Steiner down for a full 5 seconds.
Steiner charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner from Joe. Joe tries a suicide dive but jumps into a pipe Steiner is holding. It looked like the shoulder took most of it. Back in a slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz. Petey gets involved and crotches Kaz and a Frankensteiner gets two as Joe makes a very last second save. Why is it that a single shot to the leg can cause a guy to go flying off a cover?
Joe goes insane and is holding his shoulder. It would be good selling if it was the same shoulder that the pipe hit but left and right might be a bit too complex for Joe. A superkick puts Kaz down but he gets up in time to kick Joe onto the apron. Kaz tries something off the top on Steiner but it looks like a bad DDT. Steiner gets a cover out of it if that gives you any idea. With Steiner still on top Joe grabs the MuscleBuster and retains.
Rating: C+. Not bad here and they had a decent match. Steiner vs. Joe would have been bad so adding in the high flying of Kaz was a nice touch. It's not a great match or anything but it was fine for Joe's first major title defense. The pipe never went anywhere but it wasn't supposed to I don't think. Not great but not bad here so just over in the middle sounds good.
Overall Rating: D. There are some ok matches but dang that first hour was weak. There was zero point to the whole thing and the tournament in general just got dull fast. The other matches aren't anything special and could have been on Impact easily. The tournament was just overly complicated and the first round had no purpose at all. Not worth seeing at all.
Date: May 11, 2008
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
It's the final part of the TNA trio I've been trying to knock out and we have a Russo staple: WEIRD TAG PARTNERS!!! So basically Eric Young was in one of his stupid things as Super Eric and for some reason Super Eric can't be a tag champion and refuses to admit that he's Eric Young or vice versa so the tag titles he and Kaz won are stripped. The results is a Deuces Wild tag tournament, meaning half regular teams, half random teams. Oh and Joe vs. Steiner and someone else to be determined in Joe's first PPV title defense. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about how Angle wants to be champion. Wait he's not fighting for the title tonight. Oh ok it's everyone talking about how they want the title. The main focus here is on Angle and Joe. Angle was supposed to be in the main event in the spot I referred to as someone else to be determined. Angle legitimately injured his neck so we have to pick someone else later on in the show.
JB is waiting on Kurt to get here and he says he's out of the main event. If he injures his neck again it might be the end of his career. Wrestlemania is mentioned as is the Smackdown World Title. Kurt quit talking about shows that are better than this one.
Earlier today Scott Steiner, Petey Williams and Rhaka Khan get out of a car. Steiner has no comment on Angle's injury which he just heard about. He wants a one on one match with Scott. Rick Steiner is there too. And so is Nash, all out of the same car. Nash being there is supposed to be shocking it seems.
Joe gets here too. Dang man is there anything to do other than wait on people to arrive? Isn't there a wrestling match to get to? I guess even TNA knows this stupid tag tournament isn't worth watching. It's news to Joe about the neck injury and he wishes he put Angle down. He doesn't care who is going to be in the ring because he'll keep the title. Joe is told Nash and Steiner arrived together and leaves without saying anything, looking angry.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: Team 3D vs. James Storm/Sting
Storm is still in his AMW garb and has been feuding with Sting a bit lately. Yeah that's another of Russo's trademarks: tag partners that hate each other. Seeing Sting as not crazy is kind of a nice change of pace given his current gimmick. These pairings are being announced as the show goes on. Storm wants to start as does Sting so we have our first argument 15 seconds into the match.
D-Von vs. Storm gets us going and Storm slaps him in the back of the head to tick him off a little. Elbow gets two for D-Von and it's off to Bubba/Bully. The fans want Sting but they get Jackie instead. Storm finally lets Sting come in but he isn't happy with it. Ray starts a 21 chant, meaning this is their 21st tag title they're going for. YOU THINK THAT'S ENOUGH???
Sting runs Ray around for a bit so the fat boy hits the floor for a time of chilling. D-Von comes in and has a bit better luck. Storm is still mad. He comes in without a tag to step on D-Von's fingers a bit and they get in a fight. The distraction lets the real tag team take over on Sting with double teaming. I think 3D are heels but I'm not 100% sure. You never can quite tell with them.
Storm sits on the apron facing the crowd drinking a beer while Sting is getting destroyed. I'd expect to see a lot of things like that tonight because Russo finds this stuff funny. A middle rope headbutt gets two for D-Von. Sting fights them off on his own but misses a Stinger Splash to both guys in one corner and D-Von hits What's Up. Storm is chilling on the apron and it's table time.
Sting fights them off and has a staredown with Team 3D. Storm gets behind 3D also and has a beer. They let Sting beat Storm up to a big pop as he slams Storm through the table. He lets D-Von get the easy pin (was Storm even legal?) showing that the idea of sacrificing something to win the titles means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING so far.
Rating: D+. So yeah, I'd expect a lot of matches like this until we get rid of the pointless random teams and get down to the real matches with the real teams. Russo put in an entire first round for his own amusement I suppose instead of having, you know, interesting/good matches. Sting vs. Storm is a feud that didn't go anywhere other than Sting destroying him in a match that might have been on PPV and that's it. This was worthless and more or less an extended workout for the Dudleys.
Frank Trigg, an MMA guy, is here and talks about Kurt's injury a bit. He had an MMA match with AJ on PPV and it was horrible. This takes like three minutes to say somehow.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: Robert Roode/Booker T vs. Christian Cage/Rhyno
Roode's partner was a surprise to him and guess what: THEY'RE FEUDING TOO!!! I mean what are the odds of that??? They get in an argument before their opponents are even here yet. Roode vs. Rhyno to get us going. Off to Christian after not much from the man beast. Unprettier is loaded up but it's too early for that. Even Tenay thinks that and since it's Tenay in TNA, it must be obvious.
By process of elimination, BG James and Awesome Kong will be partners. Roode wants to prove he can do this himself so he won't tag Booker in. The fans want him in but SCREW THEM I'M A HEEL! Booker applauds Roode and Roode is like yeah, I know I'm good. Roode puts a front facelock on Christian and Booker is getting a bit more interested now.
Christian manages to plant him and both crawl to the corners. Booker tags himself in and Rhyno acts like a good partner and waits for a tag so Christian gets caught. Booker is all fired up and pounds away, hitting a big bad drop. Axe kick misses and Christian hits the reverse DDT for two. Rhyno comes in now and does nothing of note with Booker before it's off to Roode. Roode tries his fisherman's suplex but is caught by a quick Gore for the pin.
Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was and it was terribly stupid at the same time. We get it already: the partners don't like each other and they don't care what happens to them for the sake of not getting along. We saw it in the first match and now we saw it in the second one. And the thing is, we're only two matches in. This was junk and the ending was horribly rushed.
Booker congratulates the winners post match. Post congratulations he hits them both with a chair, turning heel.
Steiner and Nash argue about something involving Joe. Steiner offers Nash a title shot in exchange for helping him win the title and Nash thinks about it.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: Kip James/Matt Morgan vs. LAX
Yeah because why would we want to see Kip James and BG James reunite as the Outlaws in this match? Kip and Matt were the only ones that were previously known which is how we knew BG and Kong were going to be partners. Homicide vs. Kip to start us off and Kip makes fun of his height. He puts Homicide on the top rope to be a jerk. Homicide kicks him in the face because that's what people do to jerks.
Homicide busts out the tope con hilo and Hernandez teases a huge dive but the random team moves. Morgan comes in and hits Old School for two. We're just waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez to kill everyone dead. Kip beats on Homicide a bit but misses a splash in the corner and here's SuperMex. The big men slug it out and Morgan is sent to the floor. Morgan and Kip try their finishers at the same time and it doesn't go well, with Morgan kicking Kip and Hernandez grabs the pin to advance.
Rating: D. Hey look: not traditional tag partners having communication problems. I won't even yell about it being the same thing we've seen in all three matches now. LAX dominated here and was never in any real trouble other than being bullied by Kip and his oddly colored tights. This was at least shorter.
AJ isn't sure what to do about facing Kong in the next match when Angle runs in to yell at him, accusing him of sleeping with Karen. AJ didn't check on him when he was injured and Angle yells more. Styles doesn't answer about Karen.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: BG James/Awesome Kong vs. Super Eric/AJ Styles
So yeah this is the guy that caused all the problems. I'm shocked too: Eric Young being insane and messing up title situations. AJ is the Prince of Phenomenal or whatever here, meaning he has a crown. James vs. Eric to start us off. AJ tags himself in and speeds things up with the dropkick. Off to Kong and AJ isn't sure what to do here. She hits the spinning backfist and he's shaken but not down.
AJ gets in a shot so she hits him in the balls. BG hits an atomic drop and that should be illegal. AJ and Eric are a normal team here as Eric is subbing for AJ's regular partner Tomko who was injured in Japan. Back to Kong who sits on AJ's chest after a counter to the Awesome Bomb. BG tries his dancing punches so AJ takes him down with a Pele. Hot tag brings in Young who hits a Swanton for two. Eric dives out on Kong as AJ botches a springboard something. They go to a fast ending as AJ rolls up James for the pin. I think there might have been an injury there.
Rating: D+. Well it wasn't good but it was less bad than the rest of them. The ending might have been due to an injury and if it was then there's little to complain about. Not a bad match but the losing team had no real reason to be together, especially when you could have had the Outlaws as the other real team and put AJ, Kong, Eric and Morgan in the wild card spots. Then again that would make sense so we know that's not happening.
Here are the updated brackets:
Team 3D
Christian Cage/Rhyno
LAX
AJ Styles/Super Eric
So yeah, the four regular teams made it and the four wildcard teams were eliminated. I'm stunned too.
Cornette will announced the replacement for Angle later tonight.
Rick Steiner looks about 65 years old, is here to support his brother and that's it.
Video on the TerrorDome which is the new concept match debuting tonight. It's shaped like the Elimination Chamber but there's a hole at the top. You have to climb through the hole and the first person out wins. Now let's show why TNA can't get their ideas right. You'll get it quickly.
Curry Man vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed vs. Shark Boy vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Kaz vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal
Sure we can put TEN PEOPLE in a cage and expect it to be coherent in any way, shape or form. TNA: redefining overdoing it every night. Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future against I think Petey Williams. Shark Boy is Stone Cold here and it's just so stupid. Cornette comes out and says the winner gets to be in the main event in Angle's place. For the record, the total time of the entrances and Cornette's announcement and lowering the ceiling on the Dome: 7:31. Longest match so far tonight: 8:45.
Everyone but Rave and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian/Japanese curry company mascot) go onto the cage walls and try to escape. The six sided ring is bigger so there's some extra room but since everyone is on the walls it's hard to call anything. The Guns take over with speed and Creed makes a run for the top. Kaz, ever the scholar, uses Creed's arms as a slingshot to drop a leg on someone instead of pulling him down. Creed, also the lunkhead, drops down to beat up Kaz.
Another problem is that everyone is wearing black tights except for the people that aren't so you can barely tell most of them apart. They mess up the Tower of Doom pretty badly and Dutt escapes the Spice Rack to Dutt. You can't really call anything but spots here and it's really annoying because of that. Creed hits a DDT on Rave. Shelley takes a Chummer (Stunner) from Shark Boy.
Sabin and Shark Boy mess something up badly but Kaz takes him out with a spinning downward spiral. Dutt has been chilling on the roof for awhile so Curry Man takes him down. Rave takes a Spice Rack off the top rope. There's nothing else to report here other than these random spots. They're flashy looking and cool but there's no coherence or flow to it at all.
Curry shoves Kaz off the top rope and goes up, only to have Kaz come stop him. Rave pulls him off the top with a Codebreaker and Devine hits a Devine Intervention (double underhook piledriver) to Creed. Shouldn't the afro shield him from that? Rave goes up and Kaz pulls him off. It's certainly good that 8 people were in the middle of the ring and no one was going after Kaz who escapes to advance to the title match later.
Rating: B-. Yeah it's fun but there's no way you can tell what's going on for the most part here. This needed to be about 5 guys at most and they could have gotten something going. It's a nice change to the cage match formula so of course TNA never used it as anything resembling that since they're not incredibly intelligent at times. This was fun but it really needed to be tweeked.
Joe doesn't care about Kaz winning or about Nash. He chokes JB because that's what he does.
Tenay and West fill time by talking about the main event while the Dome is taken down.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: Christian Cage/Rhyno vs. Team 3D
Rhyno is messed up from the chair shot earlier as is Christian. D-Von jumps Christian to start and Ray has an advantage when he starts with the Canadian. A neckbreaker gets two. D-Von works on the neck also. Christian fires off some chops and brings in Rhyno. He loads up the Gore but Ray makes the save. D-Von works over Rhyno now but gets caught in a spinebuster to put both guys down.
There's a hot tag to Christian who cleans a few rooms and then dives to the floor to take out both Dudleys. From a kayfabe perspective, why would they stand there to let him him them? I know they have to for his safety but why would they do that? It doesn't make sense. Ray sends Christian into the steps twice as D-Von gets the referee's attention. D-Von works on the neck even more as I'm sensing a theme here.
Off to Ray who takes too much time on the top and gets caught in a rana by Christian to put both guys down. There are the double tags to bring in D-Von and Rhyno with Rhyno in control. What's Up is broken up by Christian and they get to double team. Johnny Devine is here with a kendo stick and the Unprettier is broken up by Ray. We get left with Rhyno vs. D-Von in the ring and Rhyno hitting a powerslam for two. He hits the Gore but Devine starts coming in, letting Ray clock Rhyno with the kendo stick for the pin and the spot in the finals.
Rating: C. By far and away the best tag match of the night so far because, wait for it, wait for it.....THERE WERE REAL TAG TEAMS IN IT. Instead of having two guys that either didn't team together regularly or hated each other, we had regular teams and we got a decent match out of it. Best match of the night but the tournament is wearing thin as LAX vs. Team 3D probably has been the only possible final all night.
Nash isn't worried about Joe and says let's go find him and see what he says.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Semi-Finals: AJ Styles/Super Eric vs. LAX
Can we just watch Salinas dance for the last hour of this show? Homicide vs. AJ to start and they fly around the mat a bit. They hit stereo cross bodies and it's off to Eric vs. Hernandez. Eric sends him to the floor and then charges at the guy that uses a slingshot shoulder block when he's coming back in. Surprisingly, he gets hit by a slingshot shoulder block.
Now Eric wants a test of strength. Well what would an Eric Young match be without silly comedy? Young does get a solid bridge in there with Hernandez laying on his chest and it still doesn't break. Ok that was impressive. Young sends SuperMex to the floor and uses the referee to help with getting to the top. Why he needed the help I'm not sure but logic has never been a big deal in Eric matches.
AJ is back in now and has less success with Hernandez. Well he is a heel here so his abilities do go down a bit. The springboard forearm takes Hernandez down though and it's back to Super Eric. Hernandez gets put in a chinlock by AJ after Eric did nothing at all. Hernandez realizes he's a big strong guy and takes AJ down, setting up the double tags. Hernandez hooks a delayed vertical suplex on Eric and LAX takes over. Homicide tries the Gringo Killa but Eric makes the save. In a REALLY stupid ending, AJ rolls up Homicide but Hector turns it over. Despite AJ's arm being 8 inches off the mat the pin counts anyway.
Rating: C+. Good match but again: what's the point in these teams fighting? It's the problem with one night tournaments: there are no real reasons for these matches to happen and when you have seven matches in one night, they get really dull after awhile, even when the matches are ok. The last two matches have been much better though.
LAX vs. Team 3D in the finals.
Samoa Joe's family, a bunch of so stereotypical it's borderline racist (for some reason) Samoans, talk about how awesome Joe is.
We recap the Knockout situation. This is another stupid and overdone concept match which has most of the Knockouts in it. They have a regular battle royal and then the final two people in it have a ladder match. The winner of THAT gets a Knockout Title shot sometime later. The loser is shaved bald.
Knockouts Battle Royal
Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Rhaka Khan, Salinas, Christy Hemme, ODB, Roxxi Laveaux, Jacqueline, Traci Brooke, Gail Kim
For absolutely no apparent reason, Gail cannot have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, the last person eliminated from the battle royal has her head shaved instead. I'll give Vince Russo 10 bucks to explain his own stories. Roxxi puts Salinas out (not over the top) less than 30 seconds in. Velvet does some fighting from the apron and yeah it's only there to have a nice shot from behind her. She's out a few seconds later.
Traci is gone and the fans chant for ODB. Khan puts Christy out. They're going out so fast that you can't really keep track of who is still in there. Jackie and ODB double team Khan and Love joins them to get rid of the tall one. Jackie and ODB go out within seconds of each other and Angelina is out at the hands of Roxxi to put us down to Roxxi and Gail.
Gail Kim vs. Roxxi Laveaux
This is a ladder match and if Roxxi wins, Angelina's head is shaved. This is officially the same match so I'll rate it all together. The fans all cheer for Roxxi because Angelina isn't a nice person. Gail sets up the ladder and goes up quickly but Roxxi makes the save. I see no point whatsoever to this being a ladder match but it's TNA so what difference does it really make?
Gail puts the ladder in the corner for no apparent reason. She gets taken down and Angelina throws in a ladder of her own. Gail does look good in those TINY shorts. She powerbombs Roxxi off the ladder and might be busted a bit. Angelina interferes again and gets dropped by Roxxi. Roxxi gets a SICK spinebuster to Gail onto the ladder and here's Angelina again....and she's gone already. She and Velvet shove Roxxi off the ladder and Gail gets the contract.
Rating: D. Well let's see. The matches combined to take about 8 minutes, the eliminations were pedestrian and nothing particularly interesting happened. On the other hand, Gail showed off a lot of skin and the other girls looked good too so we can't call it a total loss. Again though: why was it a ladder match? Can someone explain that to me?
The haircut eats up some time and we get a Fire Russo chant.
Nash and JB go to find Joe and Joe yells a lot. Nash says it's a swerve but I guess he thinks Steiner isn't watching the show. Joe says he doesn't need Nash. Nash says he won't be at the main event tonight and Joe says if he does show up, Joe is taking him out.
Saving Abel and Billy Corrigan are here.
Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D
Wow the top face team is facing the top heel team in the finals. Who saw this coming? We get little clips talking about how each team got here. 3D gets in Hector's face so Homicide gets a running start and takes Bubba out with a tope con hilo. It's a brawl on the ramp to start with no one really having a distinct advantage. I'm not sure if this is part of the match or not.
Ray gets in some weak weapon shots and sends Hernandez into the steps. No one has been in the ring yet. Ok now we do have people in there with D-Von vs. Homicide and the bell finally rings after about three minutes of brawling. D-Von is sent to the floor almost immediately but Ray shoves Homicide off the top to prevent a dive. The fans chant 187 as the Dudleys control.
Delayed vertical gets two for D-Von. Ray throws on a triangle choke/head scissors as again we're waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez to do the dominating. Tenay says Team 3D is taking advantage of a situation here. Well yeah, just like any team would do. There's the tag to Hernandez and we go old school with a double noggin knocker. He puts them both on the floor with a double dropkick and then hits a huge dive.
Devine is here again and he pulls out a table. Hector comes around and the power of Lazertron puts Devine down. Hector goes up top and jumps through Devine and the table which more or less was a dropkick while a guy was on the table. It was weird but the guy is retired. Back in the ring Hernandez takes a superplex and a top rope headbutt for two. 3D gets two on Homicide because D-Von let him up. Oh ok he wasn't legal. Homicide hits something like a rana off the top (after being down for maybe 8 seconds off a 3D). D-Von goes up top and gets caught in a Border Toss and a frog splash for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C+. Fun brawl but the tournament took forever to get here. It wasn't bad or anything but it's the third time tonight we've seen these teams. You can only get so into them here which is the problem that these one night tournaments have. The final was probably the best match but not by all that much.
Slammiversary is going to be in Memphis. This brings out Eric Young (not Super Eric) who says that he's going to bring Elvis to the show. Oh for Pete's sake.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kaz vs. Scott Steiner
Frank Trigg is on commentary because wrestling companies think we watch wrestling to see MMA. Joe gets a big tribal dance thing. After some big match intros we're ready to go. Kaz grabs a rollup on Steiner 10 seconds in and a second one 20 seconds in. Joe is like screw this and runs them both over, unleashing some kicks. He cleans house and puts a half Liontamer on Kaz.
Steiner runs over for the save and is immediately put in a Fujiwara armbar. Now Kaz is in a Texas Cloverleaf. See, this is what I like Joe doing: throwing on random holds because that's what he's supposed to be good at. A clothesline puts Steiner on the floor and he hits his face on the apron. Kaz tries that spinning springboard legdrop but Joe moves. Trigg is actually offering ideas and strategy, suggesting that Steiner and Kaz should join up and double team Joe to take him out. I have no problem with someone that wants to be there and is trying. Trigg is doing both.
Steiner sends Joe into the railing outside and it's Kaz vs. Steiner with the roided one in control. Scott hits a Samoan Drop off the middle rope for two on Kaz. Is that gimmick infringement? Joe is beating him like he stole something so maybe it was. Steiner busts out the suplexes and puts Joe in the Recliner. He does what no one could do in 2000 and stands up, letting Kaz hit a dropkick in the form of a Doomsday Device to put Steiner down for a full 5 seconds.
Steiner charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner from Joe. Joe tries a suicide dive but jumps into a pipe Steiner is holding. It looked like the shoulder took most of it. Back in a slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz. Petey gets involved and crotches Kaz and a Frankensteiner gets two as Joe makes a very last second save. Why is it that a single shot to the leg can cause a guy to go flying off a cover?
Joe goes insane and is holding his shoulder. It would be good selling if it was the same shoulder that the pipe hit but left and right might be a bit too complex for Joe. A superkick puts Kaz down but he gets up in time to kick Joe onto the apron. Kaz tries something off the top on Steiner but it looks like a bad DDT. Steiner gets a cover out of it if that gives you any idea. With Steiner still on top Joe grabs the MuscleBuster and retains.
Rating: C+. Not bad here and they had a decent match. Steiner vs. Joe would have been bad so adding in the high flying of Kaz was a nice touch. It's not a great match or anything but it was fine for Joe's first major title defense. The pipe never went anywhere but it wasn't supposed to I don't think. Not great but not bad here so just over in the middle sounds good.
Overall Rating: D. There are some ok matches but dang that first hour was weak. There was zero point to the whole thing and the tournament in general just got dull fast. The other matches aren't anything special and could have been on Impact easily. The tournament was just overly complicated and the first round had no purpose at all. Not worth seeing at all.