ROUND ONE: Zelda & Sonic vs. Riddick & Hulk Hogan

Discussion in '3rd BattleZone Tournament (2013)' started by JGlass, Oct 22, 2013.

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ROUND ONE: Zelda & Sonic vs. Riddick & Hulk Hogan

  1. Zelda & Sonic

  2. Riddick & Hulk Hogan

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  1. JGlass

    JGlass Unregistered User

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    ROUND ONE​


    [​IMG]

    Many strange creatures come from Hyrule, but has Zelda ever had the pleasure of meeting the fastest hedgehog in existence? On the other side of things we have one guy that has seen more destruction and chaos than anyone that has ever lived, but can Riddick keep up with Hulk Hogan when he's running wild? You decide who wins!

    FIGHT!
     
    #1
  2. The 1-2-3 Killam

    The 1-2-3 Killam Mid-Card Championship Winner

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    Maybe if Hulk Hogan kicked off the first round against humans with no supernatural abilities, Hulkamania would be running wild into the second round. But uh...it's Sonic. Nevermind that Zelda can just float around in the corner, throwing projectile magic blasts everywhere (ala Smash Bros). Forget Zelda. Sonic is stupid fast. I don't think he's at Flash level, or Superman level, by any means, but there's still no way Old Man Hogan catches him. Vin Diesel might have a better chance, but I don't see that happening.
     
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  3. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    The thing is, Hogan has a built-in comeback. If he catches Sonic's first punch, Sonic loses his rings, then Sonic dies at the leg drop. Sonic's great, but he's fragile.

    However, a thing with spikes on its head would no doubt cause Hulkster some pain, but it'll be enough for a three-count, brothurr.
     
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  4. The Doctor

    The Doctor Great and Devious

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    Bear Hug raises a great point. Sonic is fragile, and if Hogan can catch him unawares, there's no way Sonic is kicking out of the big leg. If Sonic gets taken out early, Hogan and Riddick will have to team up against Zelda, and that's something I can see going either way. Zelda is used to fighting off huge men and monsters, and has impressive magical skills as well as weaponry. However, when Hogan is hulking up, he basically can shrug off anything.

    I'm going to be arguing mostly from a Hogan standpoint here since I'm not as familiar with Riddick as I should be, but man, if Hogan and Riddick can take Sonic out quickly and hogan manages to Hulk up before Zelda's magic or a well-placed arrow gets to him, he could be unstoppable.

    I wouldn't brush the Hulkster off just yet.
     
    #4
  5. Rainbow Yaz

    Rainbow Yaz Sing about me, I'm dying of thirst
    E-Fed Mod

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    Listen here brother, that Zelda is a woman and the Hulkster has never once let a woman beat him outside the courtroom. As for Sonic, let me tell you something jack, that cruiser weight can cruiser wait brother. Little guys and women don't draw, but The Hulkster and a muscle bound warrior like Riddick take this after a big leg drop and the ref slaps on a one, two, three.
     
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  6. Blade

    Blade "Original Blade"

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    What does Sonic actually do? I mean, he's fast, but he doesn't have much going in terms of attacks. He can spin a bit and jump on your head. But Sonic is, what, like 3 feet tall? That's fine against tiny mech animal things, but last time I checked, Hogan was roughly 8 feet tall. You can't combat that with speed and a decent jump. Plus, Sonic definitely doesn't take his vitamins, so he dies here. If only it was the Sonic.exe version of Sonic, then he'd win the whole thing.

    This comes down to what mood Zelda is in. She has some crazy powers and as Sheik, she had incredible agility. I think Zelda would avoid the lumbering attacks of Hogan and Riddick and manage to blow them up with a well-aimed Din's Fire.

    Zelda drags Sonic's lifeless corpse to round two.
     
    #6
  7. Con T.

    Con T. Yaz ain't enough, I need Fluttershy

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    *whistles a jaunty tune*

    [YOUTUBE]ze_uxxFJTvE[/YOUTUBE]

    I'm sorry, I'm just not of the mindset to vote for a team, when one of the team is nothing more than dead weight. And as the above video explains, the one thing Sonic has that makes him relatively unique, the one thing I'd say is an advantage, is actually something that is relatively overblown. And that leaves Zelda to fight two heroes, on her own.

    It astounds me that every year, Sonic seems to make the cut, especially when any of these names;

    • Sam Winchhester (fuck, take Dean even.)
    • Hal Jordan
    • The Incredible Hulk (tired of taking him? Fuck, take Jekyll
    • Raiden (no, not Metal Gear)

    All names I could see being better members of this tournament than Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog is the Tito Santana of this tournament. He's extremely brittle, his most notable skill (at least in game) is marginal at best, and even worse, his moment of invicinability is easily ruined by a timer.

    Oh, that's right; Sonic has a fan base of 90's kids who all prop this franchise up as this classic series (in spite of having 3-4 good to great games, and not having a decent game since 1999). So he's getting in. Sorry Jglass and Doctor, I love you guys and the participant list was great, until Sonic.
     
    #7
  8. JGlass

    JGlass Unregistered User

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    Has anybody actually seen Riddick in action? This dude is a killer, and he's really, REALLY fucking good at it. Did you see him do this?



    That's a casual kill for Riddick. This is a guy that can pick anything up and figure out how to kill you with it. And you people think a few magic tricks and a ninja outfit could beat him?

    If Sheik got close to Riddick, Riddick would destroy her. Whether he did it with his bare hands, his Ulaks, or one of Zelda's own weapons, that lady is getting taken the fuck down by Vin Diesel.

    And of course, there's Hogan. You really think Hogan is going to let a vanilla midget like Sonic go over? The dude is shit on the mic and all of his matches are spot fests. He doesn't have half the ring psychology as Hulk Hogan, and he has less than a hundredth of his personality. That's why Hulk Hogan goes over the Hedgehog.

    Or, if you want a more legitimate argument, The Hulk is a big, big man, and Sonic is a hedgehog. A very fast hedgehog, yes, but it's still a rodent. Hulk Hogan can stomp that shit to death after it crashes into him.
     
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  9. Blade

    Blade "Original Blade"

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    Oh great, Riddick can kill some random moron with his own sword.

    Zelda has powers that were imparted upon her by the Gods, not to mention an impenetrable shield (an believe me, Ganon has tried in many ways to get through that shield) plus some pretty decent telepathy and ability to see the future. Riddick is a quick thinker, but he'd be pretty useless when Zelda knows what he's going to do.

    In Twilight Princess, Zelda is possessed by Ganon and Link barely escapes with his life. And that's Zelda in a form where she doesn't have most of her powers.

    And then there's the piece of the Triforce. It's said in Twilight Princess (I think it's Twilight Princess, it might be Wind Waker) that Zelda actually has powers that she isn't even aware of herself. And how many comics, TV shows and movies have there been when someone has discovered their incredible powers when about to be killed? All I'm saying.

    Riddick may be a good fighter, but he's completely outmatched by Zelda.
     
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  10. JGlass

    JGlass Unregistered User

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    Yeah... by juggling it with his feet and kicking it across the room. Even Batista is scared of that shit!

    If Zelda is such a powerful fighter, then why is it always up to Link to save the world? If Zelda is such a powerful telepath, then how'd she get managed to become possessed? If she can see the future, why is Hyrule constantly getting screwed over? Wouldn't she be able to devise a plan on how to prevent these evil plots that seem to happen over and over and over again?

    While Zelda may possess awesome power, she's clearly inept at using them.

    Oh good, powers she's not aware of. I'm sure those powers she doesn't know how to use will be a huge help to her when she's not using them in this fight.

    No no no, this is all wrong. Riddick is a GREAT fighter. Fighting is what he does. His culture is killing, and he's one of the best at it. What's Zelda good at? Getting kidnapped by a pig monster and bossing Link around.

    Riddick slits Zelda's throat in a scene way to graphic to be shown in a Nintendo game.
     
    #10
  11. Blade

    Blade "Original Blade"

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    We're really using Batista as the yardstick for toughness?


    Well because all the prophecies of the Hero of Hyrule state that Link has to be the one who saves the world. But there have been several instances where Zelda has done major damage to Ganon while fighting alongside Link. And I can promise you that Ganon is vastly more powerful than Riddick.

    Though it's kind of a cop-out, Zelda has to abide by the prophecies of Hyrule. The time when a prophecy wasn't followed, Hyrule ended up underwater, flooded by the Gods because shit got so out of control.

    She has to follow rules that limits the use of her powers and forces her reliance on Link. But no such rules apply in this tournament, so she can cut loose, something that is incredibly impressive in the rare times she's allowed.

    Also, she got possessed by the darkness of the Twilight Realm. Something that would've turned Riddick's brain to mush had he been the victim.

    Jean Grey had powers she wasn't aware of. Then she became the Phoenix. You know how dangerous hidden powers can be when backed into a corner, or when given the freedom to let your powers out, the freedom that Zelda would be given in this tournament.


    When she's at her best, she's also very good at helping Link defeat Ganon. Again, that's someone way more powerful than Riddick could ever be.

    Riddick kicks swords and bullets and whatever else he can find at Zelda, which does no damage due to Zelda's shield that is impenetrable to all except the most powerful of dark magic, then sends him bursting into flames with Din's Fire. As I recall from Pitch Black, Riddick isn't particularly fond of bursting into flames, is he?
     
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