ROUND ONE: Bowser & Bruce Lee vs. Bishop and Duke Nukem

[JGlass]

ROUND ONE

Bruce Lee may be one of the greatest martial artists in the history of the world, but this is his first year entering the BattleZone Tournament. Bishop is also a newcomer, but both he and Lee have veteran allies in Duke Nukem and Bowser respectively. Can King Koopa and Sai Fon beat the time traveling mutant and the rude, lewd dude?

FIGHT!​

 

[red ass skull muhfukkah]

Duke Nukem would fill Lee and Bowsers bodies with bullets faster than the bitches take their panties off for him.

I have no clue what Bishop does but if I remember right, Lee's Kung Fu can't stop a grenade launcher.

 

[klunderbunker]

Bruce would be better off kicking Bowser in the face at the opening bell and trying his luck solo. Bowser has proven time and time again that he's completely useless, having NEVER seen one of his plans actually work. Do you know how to beat Bowser? Jump on his head or run through his legs. Seriously, that's all it takes and he's beaten. This isn't exactly difficult.

Bruce may be the best martial artist of all time, but he can't survive a bullet to the head. Duke and Bishop move on.

 

[JGlass]

Bruce would be better off kicking Bowser in the face at the opening bell and trying his luck solo. Bowser has proven time and time again that he's completely useless, having NEVER seen one of his plans actually work. Do you know how to beat Bowser? Jump on his head or run through his legs. Seriously, that's all it takes and he's beaten. This isn't exactly difficult.

Bruce may be the best martial artist of all time, but he can't survive a bullet to the head. Duke and Bishop move on.

Why not use Bowser as a human, er, koopa shield? Bowser is nothing if not durable, and I reckon that hard shell of his would be fantastic at absorbing bullets, energy blasts, and whatever Nukem and Bishop have to throw at Bruce Lee and and Bowser. Then, while they're reloading/recharing, Bruce Lee takes the fight into close combat, and that's where he shines. I have little doubt he could kill, or at least knock out, Duke Nukem in about two seconds since Nukem is an idiot who relies solely on his strength to win fights. Bishop would prove to be a much bigger challenge, but between having to fight Bruce Lee in hand to hand combat and having a giant mutant turtle breathing fire down his neck, I'm not sure Bishop has what it takes to get out of this one alive.

I'm still calling it for Bruce Lee and Bowser.

 

[klunderbunker]

Why not use Bowser as a human, er, koopa shield? Bowser is nothing if not durable, and I reckon that hard shell of his would be fantastic at absorbing bullets, energy blasts, and whatever Nukem and Bishop have to throw at Bruce Lee and and Bowser. Then, while they're reloading/recharing, Bruce Lee takes the fight into close combat, and that's where he shines. I have little doubt he could kill, or at least knock out, Duke Nukem in about two seconds since Nukem is an idiot who relies solely on his strength to win fights. Bishop would prove to be a much bigger challenge, but between having to fight Bruce Lee in hand to hand combat and having a giant mutant turtle breathing fire down his neck, I'm not sure Bishop has what it takes to get out of this one alive.

I'm still calling it for Bruce Lee and Bowser.

Because I would have zero confidence in Bowser to do something as simple as standing in one place or standing in front of Bruce. He would either be convinced he could do it himself, refuse to listen to Bruce, or hit Bruce in the head with his tail. Bowser is one of those characters that just can't accomplish even simple tasks without screwing it up. Also, think back to Mario 64. Mario, a guy with far less training and combat skill than either Bishop or Duke, was able to get behind Bowser with ease.

Finally, since it's a two man team, there's a simple solution. Have Bishop go to the right and Duke go to the left. Bowser can't defend them both at once and Bruce is going to get caught eventually.

This is also assuming this version of Bishop doesn't have his time travel abilities, which depends on the time frame we're talking about.