Respect

[Hawkeye]

What is the big deal surrounding this concept of "respect"? Everyone demands it, but no one wants to give it. Some say it's earned, some feel that it is an unalienable right almost. Why is it so difficult for people to throw away their foolish pride and simply just acknowledge one another's abilities and limits. Too many people are walking around with these glammed up ideas of respect and are making fools of themselves daily. Idealistic nonsense that had driven people apart for far too long, I say.

How do you feel about the concept of respect? Especially here,on this grand stage of an internet wrestling forum, where respect is always a hot topic.

 

[Mac Attack]

Respect what a funny thing. Personally I feel that it is earned if not already a thing that we are born into. Personally, I would respect anyone who has shown me that they truly know what is best and don't make stupid decisions. I think that it is something that people don't want to give because it makes them feel like they have had a loss of pwere. I think would the world be better off with respect of course however it will not happen do to the power struggle people get themselves into.

 

[LSN80]

Let me answer the question with a question. Why do we respect certain people, and how do we earn the respect of others? These are the questions that should be asked. There are infinite scenarios that are directly responsible in leading one person gaining the respect of another. However, any and all of these scenarios likely have one of a few underlying characteristics. When I define respect, I view it as a feeling of social approval and high regard for another individual. Why is that important? Well, isn't that how we connect with people in the first place?

Think about the deepest emotional connections you have with people. They're based around respect. Respect they've earned in some way or form. Is it some unalienable right? No. Respect can be lost instantaneously and take a lifetime to earn. What's important is defining whose worthy or your respect, and whose respect truly matters to you. If you look hard enough, you'll see a few characteristics that generally define respect.

One characteristic is having confidence and pride in oneself while at the same time being considerate of others, you're going to earn the respect of others. I think this is a principle that should be used across the board. You don't owe people anything but that consideration, and what they do with whatever social cues you give off is on them. Its your confidence and pride in yourself that is truly important in these situations.

A second scenario regarding respect is simply when someone does something kind for someone else without expecting anything in return. If a social contract of some kind is formed, thats a great thing, but in general, I respect a person who does something for someone else and receive nothing in return, other then the satisfaction of knowing they were able to help. There have been several people on here that have gained my trust, admiration, and respect because they helped me out when I was going through difficult situations. They didn't have to help, or offer their support. But they did, asking for nothing in return. I respect that, immensely.

Third, I look at honesty as a characteristic to respect. Look, if I can't trust someone to be honest with me in a crucial moment in their life, then I can't respect them. Id be devastated if my wife told me she no longer had feelings for me and wanted to seperate, but Id respect that honesty much more then if she just did things to drive me away rather then telling me the truth. Honesty, especially in times of tension, is something that will certainly make or break my respect for you. Lie to me, and you've lost my respect.

Respect also comes from achievement of some kind, or reaching a certain goal. I respect each and every one of the people I work with, because they worked hard to get to the place they are in life in terms of degrees. To get to the point where someone can practice at a high level in the mental health field, they've got to make alot of sacrifices of their time, and put in alot of "practice" under close scrutiny. Those who are able to come out on the other side are those I respect. Heck, I respect anyone who sets a goal for themself, and achieves it. I respect that aspect about them.

Respect can come in many forms, as Ive mentioned above. Distribution and receipt of respect surely isn't an exact science, it's much more an art form then anything else. It truly depends on the individual characteristics of the people involved in any given scenario. But respect is important for developing relationships, gaining trust, and achieving social status. It's by those characteristics that social approval and high regard for others are developed, but in what situation, atmosphere, and individual characteristics vary by the individual, and its importance. What matters is how important those things are to you.

 

[JWGunslinger]

Respect is one of the most important things in the world to me, mostly because it has become such a rare thing these days. I also believe that there are different degrees of respect, for instance when I meet someone I start off our meeting/friendship or whatever it is with some respect. I treat them kindly and am open to what they think and saying, then if we get to know each other more respect will grow, you can respect people because you have similar ideals or you could even respect them for having different beliefs. But I think the key about Respect is that it is hard to receive if you are not open to give it, I live my life to be a good person and be the best human being I can be all around and I think that spreading respect, earning it and giving it are all important factors in being a good person. Nothing but love can out do the feeling of earning someone's full respect or finding someone that you feel deserves your full respect, the people you completely often make the best friends and allies.
True respect is beautiful but it is earned, hell just look at my avatar

 

[Notorious718]

I think people seek respect because respect is more or less the approval of other people. People seek that approval in order to feel like they belong. Having the respect of others simply makes us feel good about ourselves. As I see it, respect is something that is earned. I think the main way to earn respect is to show respect, for example by taking another person's feelings into consideration and by showing another person that they and their feelings matter. Showing consideration for others is one way respect is earned, in my opinion. I think respect allows people to communicate and see eye to eye with each other. I usually see it in debates on the forum. If I respect you, even when I don't agree with what you do or say, I won't make nasty comments or try to make your life more difficult. I may voice my opinion about things, but I won't insist that you agree or follow my line of thinking. Similarly, if you respect me, you'll listen to my opinion, weigh it honestly and then make your own decision. Again, you may voice your disagreement, but it won't become a full-blown arguement because we can respect each other's differing opinions.

Speaking of the forum, respect does seem to be a hot topic. I've noticed this more predominantly among the rookie posters who feel that they have something to prove when they first join up. I remember I felt the same way when I first joined. I remember, that I wanted people to take notice of me and respect me as a poster (even though most of us are just people who will never meet each other in real life and only interact over the internet) and that I wanted to have a high rep count so people would take me seriously. While I don't exactly feel so bent on having such a high rep count (although that always is nice) as I did a year ago, I still want to look good and respectable to other posters with a solid posting style and not like a complete idiot.

 

[Dagger Dias]

What is the big deal surrounding this concept of "respect"? Everyone demands it, but no one wants to give it.

I do. It's just that people need to earn it first. I'm a fairly laid-back relaxed guy so my respect isn't hard to earn. The bad news is, it's easy to lose. I take respect very seriously and if something makes me angry then I tend to hold that against the person or thing involved.

Why is it so difficult for people to throw away their foolish pride and simply just acknowledge one another's abilities and limits.

It is difficult for them due to struggling with the issue of having too much pride. They feel that they are better as a person and do not want to put others over. If you had the spotlight wouldn't you want to hold onto it until you find someone worthy of passing the torch to? The problem is that some people have too high of a standard and end up hogging the spotlight instead. Respect SHOULD be earned, but it shouldn't be difficult to earn. The problem lies with pride of arrogant people because they are too concerned with wanting to be better than everyone else and then there's the stupidity of others who do nothing to earn respect from even more relaxed people such as myself.

 

[ABMorales787]

Respect is some thing pretty easy to gain. From just a hand shake, a hello or a good day. It's not really the respect that's the issue, it's the attitude a person present's when you first meet him/her. Think about it. You meet a person for the first time and that person act's smug, displays the confidence to use some words you wouldn't use without earning some trust first and so on. You'll say that person has no respect. So you don't give the person respect. And thus the chain of disrespect takes place and slowly we evolve in to despise. You despise that person.

Respect is a way of presenting yourself to others. You would tell your parent's to "fuck off" because you have respect for them. But you'd tell it to some jerk you just met because he's not behaving properly.

Simply put, respect is the way you present yourself to others.

 

[Uncle Phatso]

Respect for me is fairly simple to earn, and rather simple to lose.

Like others I am a very laid back guy, in fact if you see how I post on here you basically know how I am in real life. I try to allways make friends and act very nice to people, because I believe everyone diserves a chance at my respect. All you have to do in turn is just be a nice person. Life is to short to hold grudges aganst people, but I will not respect you if you disrespect me or my friends.

Respect like I said earlier is very easy to lose in my eyes to. It's also rather hard to gain back after that. I don't judge it on who they are, but rather how they act. If you are a dick to people when you are hanging out with me you will most likely loose my respect. If you constantly shit talk, or start bullshit around me. Your on a one way train to staying the hell out of my life.

I will help the people I don't respect though, because even though I don't respect them all humans diserve to be helped in one way or another. I'm really strange on this.

 

[Mustang Sally]

It is difficult for them due to struggling with the issue of having too much pride.

And remember, pride is often just stubbornness that they're calling pride. Yes, the word "pride" sounds better, but a person often refuses to recognize the positive qualities of someone else simply because they're too pig-headed to acknowledge it.

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I have mixed feelings about the "respect" issue because there are different definitions of what it really means.....and what the person is really respecting (or disrespecting).

For instance, the term "respect your elders." The meaning is obvious enough, but what is it you're actually being asked to show respect for? The fact they got old? The notion that they must have acquired wisdom by virtue of having lived so long? The fact that they're more physically fragile than us young whippersnappers? What?

I've asked this question of older people and the general consensus is that we should respect them because, in having lived longer than us, they've seen and done more than we have.

Okay, I'll buy that premise, but I think a better indication of whether they're due respect is how they've handled all they've seen and done. Were they kind? Did they use their experience to help others? Did they grow as people by seeing all this stuff? Or did all the experiences over the years simply bounce off them and teach them nothing? I've met people like that and so have you. They used to be young fools......and by virtue of having lived a long time, they're now old fools. We've all also met old folks who've grown by what they've seen and done.

I've met old people I respect and ones I don't. Neither one had anything to do with their age; it had to do with who they were as people.

How about this one?....... When those old people were young, did they respect their elders?

 

[Calderownz]

I've never really worried about respect. It's a matter of perspective and it's really not important in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day, you have to simple get what you need to get done, done.

Some will respect you, some won't. In either situation, you need to prove yourself. They might respect you in the process, they might not. It's nice to have. But, either way, you still have to prove yourself. Respect can come of it. But, you can't get much done with respect.

It's a worthless commodity in the sense that it's something most want, but has little value when it comes to life. Unless you need it for job opportunities or something along those lines, it's worthless. Most jobs you get, you will keep with hard work and not respect.