Relationships that start over the internet

[Hyorinmaru]

In this day and age people are always busy and going out on dates and meeting people in person is getting more and more difficult. In comes the internet.

With the internet came hundreds of dating sites over the years targeted to different groups of people. Now people can meet others and get to know them in their spare time and if they want they can set up a date at a time good for both parties.

That being said there are still risks. People will lie to you over the internet and in recent years people have been killed by people they met on the internet.


1) What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?
I have no problem with them. The problems I mentioned can affect any relationship even ones that start in person. There are other reasons that I'll discuss I when I answer the next question


2) Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?
Yes I have, in fact I'm in one right now. I met her on Facebook of all places about 4 months ago and we started talking on FB and after a month we exchanged phone numbers and just recently we decided to start dating. Over the months I have found out that we have so many things in common. She makes me laugh and I talk to her every day. I plan on moving down to where she lives so we can be together

 

[Paralyzer Z]

What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?

I don't really see a problem with internet dating. It gives people that are not good with real life confrontation situations a chance to get to know someone with ease. Eventually an encounter maybe needed to take the next step but for the most part it really opens up a lot of opportunities for people. That is not to say it isn't the bearer of major flaws. Like you said people can lie to you and create a personality very distinct of their actual one and use it to deceive you. Rapist, serial killers, or just plain perverts can hang out on these sites. The best thing about this concept of online dating in my opinion is that it offers more freedom of who you want to pick. For example if you do not want to show that you desire a tall of freaky partner when you go out with your friends? Chances are there are dating sties made specifically for those seeking that type of intimacy. My teacher from about 2 years ago met a former navy guy online and married after a year. Unlike in real life it is not a luck of the draw thing, it is a pick and chose concept. The dangers that I mentioned before still should be taken into account when it comes to finally meet in person your internet love.

Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?

Not at all. I have not even been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship in life period. I did however introduce online dating to my uncle this past year. He got a new laptop and wanted me to show him the wonders of finding love behind the pixels. After refusing to take the E-harmony test he ended up on craigslist so you can see what kind of female he was going for. One day when I am older I may try an internet dating site but for now I will focus high school grades rather than high school women.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

1) What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?

I'm wary of them. The thing about developing a relationship online is that as neither party will feel as shy or unsure as they may do if a meeting was happening in the flesh, they may come across as relatively different to how they actually are day-to-day. What I mean is that perhaps online someone can come across as very sympathetic and kind and all that stuff, but in real life they perhaps don't exaggerate these same tendencies as they would online, and so give a mis-representation of what they are like to the other person.
My friend has met a few guys from an online dating site, and more often than not the reason she breaks up with them is that they are not how really how they presented themselves to be online.

2) Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?

Nope. Closest I've come was chatting to one of my best friend's friends from Uni over facebook then over MSN, with random meets every now and then. Early this year we met up for a coffee, just the two of us, but she just wasn't what I imagined her to be, personality wise. It wasn't vastly different to how she was online, but it was a bit of an eye-opener.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Relationships that start over the internet can work out just as well as those that do not start over the internet. Who cares if you met someone through facebook or a dating webpage? What's important is what happens afterward. I am in a relationship that started over the internet. My wife and I met on eHarmony.

My biggest piece of advice is to make phone calls become the primary form of communication rather than email. Some people are not "themselves" in emails or instant messages which sets you up for disappointment when it comes time for dates. Phone calls are more personal because you hear the person and their tone as they respond to what you say. If they live near you, start hanging out. Do NOT rely primarily on emails or instant messages. Call him/her. Go on dates. Treat it like any other relationship and it will be just fine.

If you are long distance, it can still work out. My wife and I were long distance until our wedding. She was in California and I was in Texas. We had a phone "date" every single night before going to bed. It was the highlight of both of our day. We also each went to visit the other a couple of times for dates that lasted a week or so. Those were always fun and those memories hold a special place in my heart.

Two years later I am still living proof that relationships that start on the internet can work out fine even if they are long distance at first. So if you think that "friend of a friend" on your friend's facebook is attractive, go for it. Want to try a dating site? Do it. No one's stopping you. Find someone special and send them an email. I wouldn't be married if I hadn't given it a try. Be honest though and treat it like you would any other relationship.

 

[LilacFray]

Dagger Dias -

Spoiler

What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?
I've got nothing against it, having gone that way myself once. The fact that people mostly don't turn out to be who they seemed to be online is true, but hey - there are exceptions. Something good that I think about online relationships is that people who have a hard time conversing with people face to face have a better chance of letting their opinions be heard. But there are things like people pretending to be who they aren't and just being out there to have a laugh. What actually matters is how far you take the relationship. It's much better like how Dagger Dias said - if you make phone calls later on and arrange dates and things like that instead of hanging onto the e-mailing or texting. (Doubt a guy would actually be satisfied that way for too long anyway )

Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?
Yes. It was great while it lasted. After getting to know each other online, we had met and stuff but I had to go abroad and a lot of things happened. It ended up with him thinking that since I was young, I wasn't serious (There was more to that) when in reality, we broke up when I was madly in love with him. Yeah, I said love. Now I know how people my age over use that word, just treat it like any other word and how it's looked down upon by older people, but I know. First and Last guy who I've ever felt that way in my life up to now.

 

[Miko]

1) What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?

They creep me out, I am all for being open minded and all that, but I just think its wierd, you havent met this person, you havent touched this person, you havent heard them laugh, as good as text can be when written well (something very rare on the internet) its not the same as being able to see somebodies real reaction which tell me an awful lot more about a person than what they type or say. I mean, honestly, meeting a girl in a nightclub, taking her home, and having your wicked way with her and then maybe not even see her again is still more personal than any text on any computer screen. It's human contact at least, no matter how meaningless.

I just think its a by product of people spending too much time indoors.

2) Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?

No.

 

[LSN80]

1) What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?

I'll say this: They're highly misunderstood. People look at relationships that start over the Internet as solely being a place for those who can't develop one elsewhere. I'd say that thinking is short-sighted, because if i were single and given the choice, I'd meet someone over the Internet through a secure, classy dating site then I would by going to a Bar or Nightclub. I've seen several friends have great success with women/men they met online through matchmaking services, and I've only seen one relationship work out for a friend who met their significant other at a bar/nightclub. As social media becomes more prevalent and more of a monopoly in our society, I think we'll see a shift more towards people meeting others online. My only caution to people who meet others online is to meet someone from your area, so you don't have to uproot your life, or they theirs, just for the sake of a relationship that may or may not work. That's why it's called online dating for the most part, this isn't a mail-order bride service.

2) Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?

In college, I dated some girls I met on the Internet, but that was more fun then anything. Part of it was environmental- I went to a conservative college and the females there simply didn't interest me because of their religious beliefs, which I didn't share, at the time. It was fun meeting girls located near me who didn't attend the same college, and there were a few I actually kept in touch with as friends up until I was married. But it was never anything I was serious about, as i was just looking to have a good time.

I plan on moving down to where she lives so we can be together.

And this is the dangerous part I was referring to. My question to you, or anyone else who does/plans on doing this, is this: What happens if the relationship doesn't work out for you? Then you've uprooted your entire life, and for what? Nothing. You've left your friends, family, and safe haven of home behind. I don't care how much you think you've gotten to know someone through text messaging, phone calls, and Skype, you're never going to truly know how things are going to pan out until you actually meet them. That's why I provided the word of caution regarding meeting people from your area. So even if it doesn't work out, you haven't uprooted yourself from everything and everyone you know just to be with someone you don't truly know. Because until you interact with someone in person, you don't truly know them. I hope it does work out for you Milenko, but in all honesty, I'm wary about the idea of picking up and moving just to try and start something with someone you only know through social interaction, not personally.

 

[Amarillo del Bosque Verde]

1. I honestly see no problem with them. They say that love comes at funny places. And that can be completely true. Whether it be Facebook, a forum, or even Twitter, you can find love there.

2. Yes, actually. Still am. Summer of 2010. On the WWE Facebook page, me and tons of others messed around there. This one girl brought her friend one day to try it out. We started talking (me and her friend) and it was like love at first PM. After a couple months, we started dating. We literally had EVERYTHING in common. Music, wrestling, everything. Soon we started calling eachother everyday. Then we started video chatting with eachother. September 2011 was our one year anniversary. A few days after our official anniversary, we finally met in real life. Her mom brought her here. She's back home now, but we're still together and I plan on moving in with her after I graduate.

 

[JWGunslinger]

I think that in general too many people look down on relationships that are started on the Internet or search for someone that way. It's just like finding someone elsewhere, it could be good or bad just like if you met someone at a bar, the only difference is that it's easier since you can look for people with similar traits and that you don't know if they're being completely honest. I know plenty of people who have found their husbands or wives on dating sites or even Facebook or another social site, but I think that they're a great way for people to find someone that fits them well. I do think that finding someone in person can feel more special and real, I'd rather look back on dating the one I'm marrying and think about how we met years back in school rather than on some site, but that doesn't mean the relationship would be any less real.

I did mess around on some sites when I was frustrated with the lack of respectable girls at my high school but nothing ever came of it aside from meeting someone who I had alot in common but we just became good friends.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

And this is the dangerous part I was referring to. My question to you, or anyone else who does/plans on doing this, is this: What happens if the relationship doesn't work out for you? Then you've uprooted your entire life, and for what? Nothing. You've left your friends, family, and safe haven of home behind. I don't care how much you think you've gotten to know someone through text messaging, phone calls, and Skype, you're never going to truly know how things are going to pan out until you actually meet them. That's why I provided the word of caution regarding meeting people from your area. So even if it doesn't work out, you haven't uprooted yourself from everything and everyone you know just to be with someone you don't truly know. Because until you interact with someone in person, you don't truly know them. I hope it does work out for you Milenko, but in all honesty, I'm wary about the idea of picking up and moving just to try and start something with someone you only know through social interaction, not personally.

I understand 100% but the thing is I'm moving closer to my family. Most of my family lives in FL and where I'm moving to is only 2 hours away from where my dad lives. As much as I hope, pray & think this is going to work out on the small chance this doesn't work I have my family to fall back on and I know they would help me.

 

[Davi323]

1) What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?

I don't see the problem at all. Are the risks involved really any worse than the risks in trying to pick up a woman at the bar? With a relationship that begins online, you get a chance to know them a little before you ever meet, so that when you do meet, it feels kind of like a reunion, which is more relaxed.

2) Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?

Yes, twice. I met my ex-wife in one of the old MSN Chatrooms, and I met my current GF of over 4 years now on a dating site.

 

[HBK-aholic]

My 'relationship that started on the internet' is better than any I've had with a guy I met anywhere else. I didn't plan for things to happen the way they did, but the fact it's the internet didn't figure into things at all. I trusted my boyfriend was who he said he was and after nearly 3 years of talking every day I travelled 4000 miles to see what happened in person - and it was even more amazing than I thought - he was even more amazing than I thought. People who have an issue with relationships started on the internet are just very small minded. Sure, the person could lie and turn out to be a murderer - as could the guy you pick up in a bar.

And this is the dangerous part I was referring to. My question to you, or anyone else who does/plans on doing this, is this: What happens if the relationship doesn't work out for you? Then you've uprooted your entire life, and for what? Nothing. You've left your friends, family, and safe haven of home behind. I don't care how much you think you've gotten to know someone through text messaging, phone calls, and Skype, you're never going to truly know how things are going to pan out until you actually meet them. That's why I provided the word of caution regarding meeting people from your area. So even if it doesn't work out, you haven't uprooted yourself from everything and everyone you know just to be with someone you don't truly know. Because until you interact with someone in person, you don't truly know them. I hope it does work out for you Milenko, but in all honesty, I'm wary about the idea of picking up and moving just to try and start something with someone you only know through social interaction, not personally.

I'd assume that people who uproot and move to their significant other do so after having met them on more than one occasion - not after having a few chats. No normal person would talk online then move house without having met the person and feeling strongly for them.

I understand the 'What if it doesn't work out?' question, but the more important question, to me is 'What if it does?'. I couldn't, wouldn't end a long distance relationship that started on the internet based on the first question, because the fact that you're considering moving your life shows how much you love and want to be with that person. There's a chance in every relationship that things will turn sour, of course there is, but there's a much bigger chance that you'll get everything you ever wanted - how could you turn that down?

 

[BK Styles]

It's something I haven't done, but I know so many people who have relationships that started on the internet. A few through dating sites, one even theough Facebook. One of my uni buddies went to a gig last year, and joined its official facebook page beforehand, and it introduced him to other people going on the same day. He got talking to one of them; a girl from Ireland, and he and she have now been together 8 months since meeting at the gig.

I personally don't see a problem with it at all. So much communication in general is done on the internet these days. It's just another way of talking to people. If you happen to meet someone on a website who has similar tastes to you, and you get along with very well, then why shouldn't you give it a go? Yeah, there are risks, but you never known when you're in a nightclub, dancing with an axe-murderer, do you?

Relationships spawning from meeting on the internet carry risks that common sense and carefulness can all but alleviate. If you ask me, there's nothing wrong with them.

 

[J.J.]

I think "online relationships" are silly. I can only communicate with this person via phone or in this day and age Skype if I'm lucky. It just can't be trusted and how can someone tell how sincere someone is by reading some emails, private messaging or chatroom transcript? Especially when someone's feelings are at stake. Plus side is I guess it gives you an opportunity to really know them on the inside. I haven't attempted an online relationship but while I was in Iraq and Afghanistan my means of communication with my wife was email and Skype. Bottom line it can't be trusted, your hot blond or brunette, senorita or ebony princess might be a Jerry Sandusky(assuming I'm speaking to an all male audience).

To answer your second question, absolutely not! I believe in finding a woman the standard way. Net my wife while i was home after my first overseas tour at a friend's birthday party. We have something to reflect on when we first met. Imagine introducing a girl to your family
- "Yeah this is sexygurl4u11, I met her on adultfriendfinder.com, no I don't know why her looks or personality doesn't fit her screen name." Awkward!

 

[Notorious718]

Well since I've never been in a relationship, I don't think I'm quite qualified to really talk about this much. But I'm of the belief that it doesn't really matter how the relationship starts as long as it can be successful in the long run. Although I haven't seen it happen often, I think a relationship that starts over the internet can be successful as one that starts in person as long as the relationship doesn't stay strictly over the internet. Like Dagger said, it's far better to actually speak to someone than to use email or IM as people tend to adopt "personas" online that differs from how they are in real life. Like most relationships, it's gonna be hit or miss.

 

[Trill Co$by]

Internet relationships are way safer than people lead you to believe. For example, if you're in a bar and get drunk enough, then the person you've been flirting with or has been flirting with you can take full advantage of you... On the internet, the worst that they can see is you get on camera naked.

I've been in two internet relationships, and they weren't terrible at all. They've been just like any other relationship I've been in. If a relationship isn't going to work, then it's because you aren't meant to... no matter how close or far you are, there's nothing that can deny love or make someone feel something that isn't there.

True, I'm not with the two people I dated online... but at the same time, I'm not with the 5 girls I dated in high school either now am I?

The same thing goes for the "What happens if you move in together and it doesn't work?"... If I moved in with someone, it would be after I've grown to trust them enough. Hell, I've been with my current girlfriend for a few months now and I still don't know if moving in with her is a risk I want to take yet... and she lives literally two blocks from me.

 

[Chess]

If you're looking for a quick fuck then the internet is a fine way to go, there are multiple sites where ****ty girls are just looking for a good knobbing. However if you are looking at having a real relationship with someone my advise would be grow a set and approach girls that you find attractive.It is much easier to get a decent and more accurate opinion of someone face to face. Most things on the internet have an element of fakeness to them, including how people portray themselves through the internet. Just look at these forums, it is full of fake people who talk shit and try to look hard when in reality they are probably just the prey of bullies in real life.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

It is much easier to get a decent and more accurate opinion of someone face to face. Most things on the internet have an element of fakeness to them, including how people portray themselves through the internet. Just look at these forums, it is full of fake people who talk shit and try to look hard when in reality they are probably just the prey of bullies in real life.

This I agree with but like it's been said people life in real life as well. While it is easier in real life it's not full proof.

If you're looking for a quick fuck then the internet is a fine way to go, there are multiple sites where ****ty girls are just looking for a good knobbing. However if you are looking at having a real relationship with someone my advise would be grow a set and approach girls that you find attractive.

This part I take exception to. some people (like myself) can't talk to a real girl to save their lives, but online I can relax and just talk to them. And for every glorified porn site where ****s go to get fucked there is a site like eharmoney, match or okCupid where there is no explicit content allowed and their main goal is relationships not just sex. Like a real life relationship it all depends on what you're looking for.

 

[Chess]

This part I take exception to. some people (like myself) can't talk to a real girl to save their lives, but online I can relax and just talk to them.

All I would say to you is what is the worst thing that could happen? In my opinion the worst thing would happen is that she would say "No, I'm not interested", and that is not that bad. Everyone has to face rejection at some time in their lives but it is not worth giving up on human interaction and sticking to solely internet dating.

When you first meet a woman/girl that you like you should simply start by saying "hi". Then follow this by asking questions about herself. Women love to tell you about themselves, (at least at first) this inturn will lead her to ask about you, which in my opinion is a pretty easy topic to discuss. You should get an impression of whether the girl is interested or not after 5 or 10 minutes which will allow you to decide whether to continue or not. Finally keep it easy, don't start debating religion, science or anything than could cause confliction, smile and portray confidence even if you are lacking it.

I myself have been a lucky bastard. After loosing my mojo/confidence after a long term relationship turned sour I finally found a woman that I had always dreamt of. Many would say she is out of my league but I did not believe them, through persistance and confidence she finally agreed to date me, now she is my wife, so I say fuck the doubters and aim high.

And for every glorified porn site where ****s go to get fucked there is a site like eharmoney, match or okCupid where there is no explicit content allowed and their main goal is relationships not just sex. Like a real life relationship it all depends on what you're looking for.

I myself have never tried eharmony but I know it is very popular in the states and has a good reputation so if it suits you, good for you. There is no such thing as a perfect way to find love but I feel it is easier to create a connection and an understanding of said persons feelings in person. Also having a wank into a sock is never as good as into a woman.

Good luck!

 

[Mustang Sally]

People will lie to you over the internet ....

That's for dang sure. I've never in my life visited an Internet dating site, for the simple reason that with all the people I talk to on the 'Net, I won't meet anyone in person......and I let them know that very early in the "relationship." Keeping my Internet and "real" life separate are hard-fast rules I stick to.......without exception. Everyone else can follow whatever course of action they want, but this is what I choose to do.

As to the lying, I can say that I've written back and forth over a period of months with a lot of people. If you consider each conversation with a person separately, you might not draw much in the way of conclusions. But if you put all their correspondence together, some of these folks make it seem as if they are the most accomplished people on the planet. They've seen it all, they've done it all. Sure.

That's not to say that everyone on the Internet is a liar.....far from it. But it often seems that the guys and gals who have suggested getting together in person with me just happen to be the ones whom I consider to be the biggest liars, simply for how amazing a picture they've painted of themselves.

Of course, if you keep these keyboard ramblings strictly on the Internet, you should be okay, unless these good folks somehow have the ability to reach through your computer screen to get you.

But, in person? Forget it! You never know what you might be walking into. If you're a big, strong guy, you can take a chance......but I don't have that luxury.

 

[Davi323]

Question:

Are we only talking about places like Wrestlezone, where there are people from all corners of the globe talking to each other, or a dating site like Match.com, eHarmony and others like that, where you can specifically choose only to communicate with local people available for "real life" dating?

I think there is a huge difference between the two. A dating site with local members, where you can go on actual 1st dates at a real, physical location, and all the dating site did was suggest you meet, is not the same as trying to date someone 3 time zones away, where your only interaction is email, texts, phone calls, etc.

 

[Dr. IaN]

1)What are your thoughts on relationships that start on the internet?
I think it's fine, since I've been in one before. It just depends on how the grows. The two have to have the paitence for it in general.

2) Have you ever been in a relationship that started over the internet?
When I was fourteen. I met a girl on YouTube and we both liked video games. It got a little serious. Drama drama, blah blah blah.