klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Rebellion 2002
Date: October 26, 2002
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 13,416
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
This is the LAST European PPV and thank goodness for that. The issue with these is that theyre glorified house shows and usually not very good at all. The card here looks good enough though so we have that to fall back on I guess. This is a Smackdown show with Edge vs. Lesnar/Heyman for the title at the main event. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about all the new powers that have taken over. The powers referred to would be Guerrero, Angle and Lesnar. There is a hope though in the form of good guys apparently. This is a rather dramatic opening but its working for me and the show feels rather epic. The Rebellion has begun.
Heres Stephanie, looking sexy as always. Huge cleavage going on there too. She says that Undertaker wont be here because his baby is due any minute. OH! Hes a biker here. That makes a lot more sense all of a sudden. Stephanie says the title match is still on and Edge can pin either Lesnar or Heyman. Her voice is cracking a bit here so maybe HHH has been extra horny lately. Apparently there was some kind of a talent exchange program between her and Bischoff for this, so for one night only we have a special guest.
Booker T vs. Matt Hardy
Its Booker in case you didnt guess. He was incredibly hot at this point and would get the title shot at Mania. Naturally hes opening the show here but to be fair hes a surprise so its all good. Your Mattitude Fact: Matt Loves English Muffins. He says that Matt Hardy Version One is here! I really liked this gimmick and always thought Matt worked better as a heel.
Matt wants a Test of Strength but keeps changing his mind. Booker does the same thing to a nice little chuckle. Instead he pulls his hand down in front of his face which was a nice little bit there. Arm drag by Matt finally gets us going. HUGE Booker T chant starts up and ends just as quickly. Booker sends Hardy to the floor and looks awesome so far.
Tazz thinks Edge is English, speaks French and is the hometown boy tonight. After a brief skirmish on the floor Matt takes over with some stomps to the back. Angle/Benoit vs. Los Guerreros later. That works for me. Neckbreaker gets two for Matt. Booker gets that perfect twisting sunset flip out of the corner for two. Side Effect gets two.
We hit a long chinlock by Matt to fill in some time. Booker gets a half Alabama Slam/half spinebuster to get things back to even. They slug it out with Booker winning and a side kick gets two. This is starting to drag. The yelling leg drop misses so Booker hits a missile dropkick for a close two. Twist of Fate is blocked into the Book End for two.
Ah theres the Twist but Matt cant cover due to being too fat and tired. Ok so he wasnt fat yet but the joke works better now. Another Twist of Fate is blocked (hes hitting 1/3 on those. Maybe he should change finishers?) and a single kick to the gut keeps Matt hunched over long enough to allow the Scissors Kick to end this.
Rating: C+. Not bad but the match going 12 minutes is too long. They needed to cut this down by 3-4 minutes and it would have been much better. Booker was a nice little surprise here and that helped a lot as the fans seemed way into him. Not a bad match at all but too long and it weighed it down.
Booker says hes here to give the fans what they wanted to see and we get a Spinarooni.
Heyman barges into Stephanies office and rants about being in the main event. This is six days after the Taker vs. Lesnar Hell in a Cell match at No Mercy. Stephanie says that its fair because Heyman is why Taker isnt here tonight so he has to make up for him. Heyman has to wrestle in a suit.
Quick clip of Torrie catching her dad (in clothes) in the shower with Dawn Marie. This set up a lesbian angle of all things. Torrie wanted them to break it off, the dad wanted more Dawn pussy so its not over yet.
Billy Kidman/Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie/John Cena
Cena is brand new here and freshly heel after teaming with Kidman in the tag title tournament and turning on him after losing. His tights look like Robbie Es of all people. Torrie tries to go straight at Dawn to start. The genitalia doesnt have to match here. Billy and Kidman start us off as Cole talks about how Cena has been a big baby. Much like I said about Miz, never write someone off when they debut.
Off to the girls and Torries great act of revenge: she spanks Dawn. Cena knees her in the back and Dawn takes over. For some reason the girls are getting more time in this than the guys. Cena comes in to torment Torrie a bit. Torrie kicks him in the lower regions that You Cant See. Yeah that joke sucked I know.
Off to Kidman who comes in with a jumping back elbow. Cena fights back but runs into a bulldog for two. The girls fight out to the floor and Kidman gets a sick sounding enziguri to more or less kill Cena dead. The Shooting Star Press is less of a Press and more of a Shooting Star Headbutt but it gets the pin anyway. Torrie kisses Kidman post match.
Rating: D+. This was pretty weak but it combined two feuds so it has that going for it at least. Cena was nothing at all here other than a low level heel bully. Kidman was fun to watch back in the day but this wasnt much beyond a filler match for the most part. Granted this is more or less a house show so its not like its supposed to be Wrestlemania.
Edge talks about how hes wanted to be champion since he was 9 years old. Given that he can pin Heyman tonight his odds are better and he can smell something coming tonight.
Funaki vs. Crash Holly
See what I mean about not the most interesting matches? This is Crashs UK debut apparently. The fans are WAY behind Funaki here. Fast start which doesnt really get us anywhere. Crash pulls out a Japanese flag (called the British flag by the idiotic announcers) bandana and its a kung fu match apparently.
Crash takes over and we hit the chinlock. This show is getting very boring very quickly indeed. Apparently the winner of this might get a Cruiserweight Title shot. Both get rollups for two. Crash attempts an Oklahoma Roll but Funaki lays down on him and gets the pin. This was another rather short match with nothing special about it at all.
Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything but sweet damnation this has been a boring show and this match didnt help it. The problem is that theres no point to this and its nothing but filler and everyone knows it. Not a bad match or anything like I said but it would be nice to have something actually matter.
Nidia doesnt like England and neither does Noble.
Rey looks high as a damn kite.
Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble
Elimination rules here and Noble is champion coming in. I havent heard a crowd be as silent for someone as they are for Tajiri in a long time. Reys pop makes up for the lack of excitement for both other guys. Noble blasts Rey as he tries to get in. Rey hits a big old twisting corkscrew plancha to take out both guys almost immediately. This was before his knees were destroyed if you didnt get that.
Tajiri gets that wicked handspring elbow to take down both guys. This is rather spot festy to start us off. Theres the Tarantula to Rey and Noble adds a dropkick to the masked man. Noble rams Tajiri into Rey and a Tiger Bomb puts out Tajiri to get us down to one on one for the title. Tiger Bomb is reversed into a rana for two as Rey takes over.
Seated Senton is countered into a powerbomb for two. As always Cole keeps reminding us that we wont see this on anything but Smackdown. Except for on a PPV like this one right? Noble apparently forgets his name so he asks the crowd for it. Noble has an armbar on but Rey rolls through. Jamie holds on though and we stay at it. He stays on the arm as hes trying to keep it on the ground as you would expect.
Clothesline gets two. The fans want to see a 619. Instead they get a Northern Lights Suplex from Jamie for two. Off to a modified Fujiwara Armbar. Rey counters an electric chair into a tornado DDT to break Jamies momentum for a bit. We speed up a bit and Rey drops the dime for two. Seated Senton off the top gets the same.
The people still want the 619. Rey gets caught in more or less a Falcons Arrow for two. Sunset Bomb, Melinas finisher, gets what would be three but Nidia gets up on the apron to make the save. Rey drops Noble onto the bottom rope but Nidia trips him anyway. Tiger Bomb gets two and the fans are into it for the most part now. And then Rey goes for a victory roll but Noble dives into it (Owen at Mania X) and Nidia adds a hand to end it.
Rating: B-. Again it was a good match and this time the title helped things a good deal. Naturally there was no way the title was going to change hands but that doesnt mean it wasnt entertaining. Fun stuff here ewith Rey being like his old self for a change instead of being all old and banged up and in over his head.
Post match both evildoers take a 619. Cole calls it a 12 2 18 because hes a stupid person. Not really but it sounds good.
Benoit and Angle argue again over who the captain of their team is, this time based on international relations with England. This was funny stuff every time. Benoit points out that hes won the last two matches, meaning hes the better wrestler and the team captain. This would lead to their masterpiece at the Rumble. They cant fight as long as theyre champions though.
Big Valbowski/Chuck Palumbo vs. Reverend D-Von/Ron Simmons
Yes thats really what Val was going by at the time. D-Von was a corrupt preacher as he had absolutely nothing else to do at this point. He would soon get an associate named Deacon Batista. Never mind as apparently theyve already split. Surprising. They double team Palumbo to start but Val comes in. He walks into a spinebuster by Simmons as I think we have a squash on our hands.
Simmons with a chinlock on Val who is in trouble. This isnt much of a match at all. Chuck finally comes in off what is supposed to be a hot tag but really was just a tag. He cleans house for awhile and the discus punch of all things gets a big reaction. Jungle Kick to D-Von but Simmons makes the save. Simmons nails Palumbo and D-Von gets a rollup for the pin. At least we get D-Vons awesome theme song again.
Rating: D. Total squash here with nothing special at all about it. This could have been on any house show for Smackdown all year long and it would be just as boring there as it was here. At only about four minutes, how into this match could you really get? Pretty weak overall but they needed something to fill in space I guess.
The Guerreros talk about how nice the people here in Germany have been. Chavo thinks theyre in Ireland. They talk about remembering the Alamo because they won there. I loved these guys and it was easily the most I ever enjoyed Eddie. They close it out by talking about the delicious food that Grandma is going to make them. Hilarious stuff.
Rikishi vs. Albert
This is a kiss my ass match. Albert was about to become the A-Train and get the second biggest push of his American career which would get him about nowhere. Albert says that he knows the ladies think hes sexy. I get why he never talks. The loser has to kiss the winners ass. We talk about Show injuring Taker on Smackdown. He wouldnt be back until the Rumble I dont think.
Its a power vs. power match of course which is about exactly what you would expect. Rikishi tries an ass drop but Albert gets out of the way at the last possible second. Albert rips a buckle off and rams Rikishis back into it. A splash and chinlock follows as its all Albert here. I wonder if hes related to Del Rio.
This is one of those matches where minutes pass with nothing to say at all. They collide and we get a double count. Tazz is surprised they count in English. Rikishi gets up first and hammers away before hitting a Samoan Drop for no cover. Bicycle Kick takes the Samoan down for two. Albert misses a charge into the corner and the big ass drop ends it.
Rating: D. Another weak as hell match here which had no point other than to feed someone to Rikishi. Pretty much a nothing match here as neither guy meant much. Rikishi was supposed to be some big deal or some big strong guy at this point but I dont think anyone really bought that at all. Just a way to set up the post match stuff.
Albert tries to run so the referee says he has until the count of ten to get in there or hes suspended without pay. Instead Albert hits a low blow and Baldo Bomb. Rikishi fights him off and its a Stinkface for Albert.
But wait were not done yet. Rikishi wants to dance but needs someone to dance with, so he calls in all the announcers, save for Funaki who the fans chant for. THANKFULLY we go to a video as Cole and Tazz start gyrating their asses.
Benoit and Angle cant fight while theyre champions or theyre gone for a year. The video also recaps the tag tournament and No Mercy where Angle/Benoit won the belts in a classic over Rey/Edge.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit
This should be awesome. Big reaction for Benoit. Benoit and Angle argue again about who starts this time. Angle and Eddie finally start us off but Chavo comes in after only a few seconds and no contact. Crowd loves Angle here. Big hip toss puts Chavo down and elbows do the same to Eddie. Angle and Benoit fight over a tag as its off to Benoit vs. Eddie.
Ok make that Benoit vs. Chavo. LOUD WE WANT ANGLE chant. Now its Benoit vs. Eddie. This is hard to review as there isnt much to make fun of at all. Crowd is all of a sudden hot as hell. Everything goes nuts and Benoit and Angle take turns hitting Germans on Eddie to more or less kill him. The argument allows the Guerreros to take over on Benoit.
Eddie sends Benoit into the buckle which is still exposed during the previous match. The fans still want Angle. Benoit grabs a Crossface on Chavo out of nowhere but Eddie makes the save. Benoit is sent to the floor and Eddie hammers away. Hes in legally now with his slingshot hilo for tow.
Gory Special from Eddie as Benoit is screaming like a madman. Must be practice for later. Off to Chavo who gets caught in a backslide for two. More hammering on Benoit who finally just freaking snaps and ends Eddie with a powerbomb. Chavo comes in but Benoit snaps him down into a Crossface. Eddie saves but it brings in Angle. Eddie comes off the top with the Frog Splash to Benoit who is on top of Chavo but Benoit rolls away and Chavo is crushed.
Angle finally gets in and the beating is on. BIG backdrop to Eddie followed by a big German by the American to the Mexican stereotype. Benoit rolls the Germans so Eddie saves. Benoit doesnt seem to care which one he suplexes so its over to Eddie now. Swan Dive gets two as Chavo saves. Benoit and Chavo hit the floor as Eddie sets for the Frog Splash. Benoit saves and its Crossface time again.
The referee doesnt care at all about who is legal. Benoit and Angle get into it and shove each other a bit and Angle winds up in the Lasso From El Paso (kind of the Texas Cloverleafs inbred cousin). He rolls through into the Ankle Lock but Chavo gets a belt shot to Angle for two. Benoit takes out Chavo and a big old Angle Slam to Eddie finally ends this.
Rating: B+. And somehow thats a downgrade for them. These four guys plus Rey/Edge were mind blowing around this time. They would have an insane triple threat at Survivor Series that was somehow a step above this. Anyway, another great one here and definitely the match of the night so far which doesnt surprise me at all.
Benoit and Angle almost argue again but the Guerreros dive in to try to steal the titles. The champions just put their feet on the belts and the Texicans run.
Heyman is warming up kind of. Lesnar says hes done his job already by taking out Undertaker. If Heyman costs Brock the title, Brock is going to end him. Wheres Velasquez when you need him?
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman
Edge can pin either guy to win the title. Lesnar won the title at Summerslam and is the most mind blowing guy anyone can remember in forever. Edge is the hottest thing in the world though and this is allegedly his first title shot. Heyman of course looks terrified. He would turn on Brock at Survivor Series. Brock doesnt want Edge to even look at the title.
Heyman channels his inner Cody Deaner and turns the hat around backwards. Brock basically tells Heyman to stay in the corner and let him handle this. This should be really good actually. Brock uses pure power to start but Edge out moves him. Brock is like screw this and charges, throwing Edge back into the corner.
Edge sends him to the floor and Brock chills for a bit. More or less Edges only chance is to use speed moves. Edge makes fun of Brocks pose and Brock charges, flying over the top. He destroys some steps because he can. We hit the floor for a bit with Edge in control. Heyman grabs Edges foot so Brock can take over. Heyman goes insane, skipping around ringside and celebrating his triumph.
Never mind as Edge drops him almost immediately. Edge wants the Edgecution but Brock is like boy Im Brock and suplexes him. Back to the floor again and Edge is sent into the post. Back in and its all Lesnar as he works on the back. Brock gets a freaky looking Boston Crab where instead of wrapping his arms around the legs he grabs them with his hands and pulls back. Never seen that before.
Off to a chinlock which doesnt last incredibly long. Brock grabs him around the waist in more or less a reverse bearhug on the mat. Edge finally fights him off and has Brock in some trouble. Baseball slide drills Heyman again but Edge walks into a spinebuster to take over again. Lesnar charges in the corner and his shoulder goes into the post to give Edge a chance.
Edge speeds things up and hits an Edge-O-Matic (its that reverse X-Factor where he grabs the guy by the head and slams them into the mat back first) for two. Edge pulls Heyman in and apparently can pin him without him tagging in. Edge gets a dive off the top to the floor to take out Lesnar. Ok, why in the hell would you do that when you could just roll up Heyman and get the title?
Back in the ring a missile dropkick takes down Lesnar for two. The fans are getting into this now. Cross body takes out the referee by mistake and the F5 is countered into the Edgecution (elevated DDT since no one but me uses these names anymore). Paul throws Brock a chair but Edge gets a spear out of nowhere for two. Edge comes off the top but jumps into a chair shot and the F5 ends this.
Rating: B-. The main issue here was that it ran long, going almost 20 minutes. Fun stuff for the most part but at the same time it needed to be a bit shorter to really make this work as well as possible. Edge looked good as did Lesnar. You have to keep in mind here that Edge wasnt a main event guy yet and Brock was brand new to it. This would be almost like Miz vs. Kofi or something like that. Fun match though and it wasnt boring at all.
Heyman runs his mouth post match and runs into an Edgecution for his troubles.
Overall Rating: C. Well parts of it were bad, but the last two matches were both good and that makes up for a lot of the really bad stuff. This wasnt as bad as some of these matches were and Ive seen far many worse than this one. Nothing horrible here but some boring stuff brings this one down. The tag title and world title matches are good enough to make this worth a look though, but dont go out of your way.
Date: October 26, 2002
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 13,416
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
This is the LAST European PPV and thank goodness for that. The issue with these is that theyre glorified house shows and usually not very good at all. The card here looks good enough though so we have that to fall back on I guess. This is a Smackdown show with Edge vs. Lesnar/Heyman for the title at the main event. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about all the new powers that have taken over. The powers referred to would be Guerrero, Angle and Lesnar. There is a hope though in the form of good guys apparently. This is a rather dramatic opening but its working for me and the show feels rather epic. The Rebellion has begun.
Heres Stephanie, looking sexy as always. Huge cleavage going on there too. She says that Undertaker wont be here because his baby is due any minute. OH! Hes a biker here. That makes a lot more sense all of a sudden. Stephanie says the title match is still on and Edge can pin either Lesnar or Heyman. Her voice is cracking a bit here so maybe HHH has been extra horny lately. Apparently there was some kind of a talent exchange program between her and Bischoff for this, so for one night only we have a special guest.
Booker T vs. Matt Hardy
Its Booker in case you didnt guess. He was incredibly hot at this point and would get the title shot at Mania. Naturally hes opening the show here but to be fair hes a surprise so its all good. Your Mattitude Fact: Matt Loves English Muffins. He says that Matt Hardy Version One is here! I really liked this gimmick and always thought Matt worked better as a heel.
Matt wants a Test of Strength but keeps changing his mind. Booker does the same thing to a nice little chuckle. Instead he pulls his hand down in front of his face which was a nice little bit there. Arm drag by Matt finally gets us going. HUGE Booker T chant starts up and ends just as quickly. Booker sends Hardy to the floor and looks awesome so far.
Tazz thinks Edge is English, speaks French and is the hometown boy tonight. After a brief skirmish on the floor Matt takes over with some stomps to the back. Angle/Benoit vs. Los Guerreros later. That works for me. Neckbreaker gets two for Matt. Booker gets that perfect twisting sunset flip out of the corner for two. Side Effect gets two.
We hit a long chinlock by Matt to fill in some time. Booker gets a half Alabama Slam/half spinebuster to get things back to even. They slug it out with Booker winning and a side kick gets two. This is starting to drag. The yelling leg drop misses so Booker hits a missile dropkick for a close two. Twist of Fate is blocked into the Book End for two.
Ah theres the Twist but Matt cant cover due to being too fat and tired. Ok so he wasnt fat yet but the joke works better now. Another Twist of Fate is blocked (hes hitting 1/3 on those. Maybe he should change finishers?) and a single kick to the gut keeps Matt hunched over long enough to allow the Scissors Kick to end this.
Rating: C+. Not bad but the match going 12 minutes is too long. They needed to cut this down by 3-4 minutes and it would have been much better. Booker was a nice little surprise here and that helped a lot as the fans seemed way into him. Not a bad match at all but too long and it weighed it down.
Booker says hes here to give the fans what they wanted to see and we get a Spinarooni.
Heyman barges into Stephanies office and rants about being in the main event. This is six days after the Taker vs. Lesnar Hell in a Cell match at No Mercy. Stephanie says that its fair because Heyman is why Taker isnt here tonight so he has to make up for him. Heyman has to wrestle in a suit.
Quick clip of Torrie catching her dad (in clothes) in the shower with Dawn Marie. This set up a lesbian angle of all things. Torrie wanted them to break it off, the dad wanted more Dawn pussy so its not over yet.
Billy Kidman/Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie/John Cena
Cena is brand new here and freshly heel after teaming with Kidman in the tag title tournament and turning on him after losing. His tights look like Robbie Es of all people. Torrie tries to go straight at Dawn to start. The genitalia doesnt have to match here. Billy and Kidman start us off as Cole talks about how Cena has been a big baby. Much like I said about Miz, never write someone off when they debut.
Off to the girls and Torries great act of revenge: she spanks Dawn. Cena knees her in the back and Dawn takes over. For some reason the girls are getting more time in this than the guys. Cena comes in to torment Torrie a bit. Torrie kicks him in the lower regions that You Cant See. Yeah that joke sucked I know.
Off to Kidman who comes in with a jumping back elbow. Cena fights back but runs into a bulldog for two. The girls fight out to the floor and Kidman gets a sick sounding enziguri to more or less kill Cena dead. The Shooting Star Press is less of a Press and more of a Shooting Star Headbutt but it gets the pin anyway. Torrie kisses Kidman post match.
Rating: D+. This was pretty weak but it combined two feuds so it has that going for it at least. Cena was nothing at all here other than a low level heel bully. Kidman was fun to watch back in the day but this wasnt much beyond a filler match for the most part. Granted this is more or less a house show so its not like its supposed to be Wrestlemania.
Edge talks about how hes wanted to be champion since he was 9 years old. Given that he can pin Heyman tonight his odds are better and he can smell something coming tonight.
Funaki vs. Crash Holly
See what I mean about not the most interesting matches? This is Crashs UK debut apparently. The fans are WAY behind Funaki here. Fast start which doesnt really get us anywhere. Crash pulls out a Japanese flag (called the British flag by the idiotic announcers) bandana and its a kung fu match apparently.
Crash takes over and we hit the chinlock. This show is getting very boring very quickly indeed. Apparently the winner of this might get a Cruiserweight Title shot. Both get rollups for two. Crash attempts an Oklahoma Roll but Funaki lays down on him and gets the pin. This was another rather short match with nothing special about it at all.
Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything but sweet damnation this has been a boring show and this match didnt help it. The problem is that theres no point to this and its nothing but filler and everyone knows it. Not a bad match or anything like I said but it would be nice to have something actually matter.
Nidia doesnt like England and neither does Noble.
Rey looks high as a damn kite.
Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble
Elimination rules here and Noble is champion coming in. I havent heard a crowd be as silent for someone as they are for Tajiri in a long time. Reys pop makes up for the lack of excitement for both other guys. Noble blasts Rey as he tries to get in. Rey hits a big old twisting corkscrew plancha to take out both guys almost immediately. This was before his knees were destroyed if you didnt get that.
Tajiri gets that wicked handspring elbow to take down both guys. This is rather spot festy to start us off. Theres the Tarantula to Rey and Noble adds a dropkick to the masked man. Noble rams Tajiri into Rey and a Tiger Bomb puts out Tajiri to get us down to one on one for the title. Tiger Bomb is reversed into a rana for two as Rey takes over.
Seated Senton is countered into a powerbomb for two. As always Cole keeps reminding us that we wont see this on anything but Smackdown. Except for on a PPV like this one right? Noble apparently forgets his name so he asks the crowd for it. Noble has an armbar on but Rey rolls through. Jamie holds on though and we stay at it. He stays on the arm as hes trying to keep it on the ground as you would expect.
Clothesline gets two. The fans want to see a 619. Instead they get a Northern Lights Suplex from Jamie for two. Off to a modified Fujiwara Armbar. Rey counters an electric chair into a tornado DDT to break Jamies momentum for a bit. We speed up a bit and Rey drops the dime for two. Seated Senton off the top gets the same.
The people still want the 619. Rey gets caught in more or less a Falcons Arrow for two. Sunset Bomb, Melinas finisher, gets what would be three but Nidia gets up on the apron to make the save. Rey drops Noble onto the bottom rope but Nidia trips him anyway. Tiger Bomb gets two and the fans are into it for the most part now. And then Rey goes for a victory roll but Noble dives into it (Owen at Mania X) and Nidia adds a hand to end it.
Rating: B-. Again it was a good match and this time the title helped things a good deal. Naturally there was no way the title was going to change hands but that doesnt mean it wasnt entertaining. Fun stuff here ewith Rey being like his old self for a change instead of being all old and banged up and in over his head.
Post match both evildoers take a 619. Cole calls it a 12 2 18 because hes a stupid person. Not really but it sounds good.
Benoit and Angle argue again over who the captain of their team is, this time based on international relations with England. This was funny stuff every time. Benoit points out that hes won the last two matches, meaning hes the better wrestler and the team captain. This would lead to their masterpiece at the Rumble. They cant fight as long as theyre champions though.
Big Valbowski/Chuck Palumbo vs. Reverend D-Von/Ron Simmons
Yes thats really what Val was going by at the time. D-Von was a corrupt preacher as he had absolutely nothing else to do at this point. He would soon get an associate named Deacon Batista. Never mind as apparently theyve already split. Surprising. They double team Palumbo to start but Val comes in. He walks into a spinebuster by Simmons as I think we have a squash on our hands.
Simmons with a chinlock on Val who is in trouble. This isnt much of a match at all. Chuck finally comes in off what is supposed to be a hot tag but really was just a tag. He cleans house for awhile and the discus punch of all things gets a big reaction. Jungle Kick to D-Von but Simmons makes the save. Simmons nails Palumbo and D-Von gets a rollup for the pin. At least we get D-Vons awesome theme song again.
Rating: D. Total squash here with nothing special at all about it. This could have been on any house show for Smackdown all year long and it would be just as boring there as it was here. At only about four minutes, how into this match could you really get? Pretty weak overall but they needed something to fill in space I guess.
The Guerreros talk about how nice the people here in Germany have been. Chavo thinks theyre in Ireland. They talk about remembering the Alamo because they won there. I loved these guys and it was easily the most I ever enjoyed Eddie. They close it out by talking about the delicious food that Grandma is going to make them. Hilarious stuff.
Rikishi vs. Albert
This is a kiss my ass match. Albert was about to become the A-Train and get the second biggest push of his American career which would get him about nowhere. Albert says that he knows the ladies think hes sexy. I get why he never talks. The loser has to kiss the winners ass. We talk about Show injuring Taker on Smackdown. He wouldnt be back until the Rumble I dont think.
Its a power vs. power match of course which is about exactly what you would expect. Rikishi tries an ass drop but Albert gets out of the way at the last possible second. Albert rips a buckle off and rams Rikishis back into it. A splash and chinlock follows as its all Albert here. I wonder if hes related to Del Rio.
This is one of those matches where minutes pass with nothing to say at all. They collide and we get a double count. Tazz is surprised they count in English. Rikishi gets up first and hammers away before hitting a Samoan Drop for no cover. Bicycle Kick takes the Samoan down for two. Albert misses a charge into the corner and the big ass drop ends it.
Rating: D. Another weak as hell match here which had no point other than to feed someone to Rikishi. Pretty much a nothing match here as neither guy meant much. Rikishi was supposed to be some big deal or some big strong guy at this point but I dont think anyone really bought that at all. Just a way to set up the post match stuff.
Albert tries to run so the referee says he has until the count of ten to get in there or hes suspended without pay. Instead Albert hits a low blow and Baldo Bomb. Rikishi fights him off and its a Stinkface for Albert.
But wait were not done yet. Rikishi wants to dance but needs someone to dance with, so he calls in all the announcers, save for Funaki who the fans chant for. THANKFULLY we go to a video as Cole and Tazz start gyrating their asses.
Benoit and Angle cant fight while theyre champions or theyre gone for a year. The video also recaps the tag tournament and No Mercy where Angle/Benoit won the belts in a classic over Rey/Edge.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit
This should be awesome. Big reaction for Benoit. Benoit and Angle argue again about who starts this time. Angle and Eddie finally start us off but Chavo comes in after only a few seconds and no contact. Crowd loves Angle here. Big hip toss puts Chavo down and elbows do the same to Eddie. Angle and Benoit fight over a tag as its off to Benoit vs. Eddie.
Ok make that Benoit vs. Chavo. LOUD WE WANT ANGLE chant. Now its Benoit vs. Eddie. This is hard to review as there isnt much to make fun of at all. Crowd is all of a sudden hot as hell. Everything goes nuts and Benoit and Angle take turns hitting Germans on Eddie to more or less kill him. The argument allows the Guerreros to take over on Benoit.
Eddie sends Benoit into the buckle which is still exposed during the previous match. The fans still want Angle. Benoit grabs a Crossface on Chavo out of nowhere but Eddie makes the save. Benoit is sent to the floor and Eddie hammers away. Hes in legally now with his slingshot hilo for tow.
Gory Special from Eddie as Benoit is screaming like a madman. Must be practice for later. Off to Chavo who gets caught in a backslide for two. More hammering on Benoit who finally just freaking snaps and ends Eddie with a powerbomb. Chavo comes in but Benoit snaps him down into a Crossface. Eddie saves but it brings in Angle. Eddie comes off the top with the Frog Splash to Benoit who is on top of Chavo but Benoit rolls away and Chavo is crushed.
Angle finally gets in and the beating is on. BIG backdrop to Eddie followed by a big German by the American to the Mexican stereotype. Benoit rolls the Germans so Eddie saves. Benoit doesnt seem to care which one he suplexes so its over to Eddie now. Swan Dive gets two as Chavo saves. Benoit and Chavo hit the floor as Eddie sets for the Frog Splash. Benoit saves and its Crossface time again.
The referee doesnt care at all about who is legal. Benoit and Angle get into it and shove each other a bit and Angle winds up in the Lasso From El Paso (kind of the Texas Cloverleafs inbred cousin). He rolls through into the Ankle Lock but Chavo gets a belt shot to Angle for two. Benoit takes out Chavo and a big old Angle Slam to Eddie finally ends this.
Rating: B+. And somehow thats a downgrade for them. These four guys plus Rey/Edge were mind blowing around this time. They would have an insane triple threat at Survivor Series that was somehow a step above this. Anyway, another great one here and definitely the match of the night so far which doesnt surprise me at all.
Benoit and Angle almost argue again but the Guerreros dive in to try to steal the titles. The champions just put their feet on the belts and the Texicans run.
Heyman is warming up kind of. Lesnar says hes done his job already by taking out Undertaker. If Heyman costs Brock the title, Brock is going to end him. Wheres Velasquez when you need him?
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman
Edge can pin either guy to win the title. Lesnar won the title at Summerslam and is the most mind blowing guy anyone can remember in forever. Edge is the hottest thing in the world though and this is allegedly his first title shot. Heyman of course looks terrified. He would turn on Brock at Survivor Series. Brock doesnt want Edge to even look at the title.
Heyman channels his inner Cody Deaner and turns the hat around backwards. Brock basically tells Heyman to stay in the corner and let him handle this. This should be really good actually. Brock uses pure power to start but Edge out moves him. Brock is like screw this and charges, throwing Edge back into the corner.
Edge sends him to the floor and Brock chills for a bit. More or less Edges only chance is to use speed moves. Edge makes fun of Brocks pose and Brock charges, flying over the top. He destroys some steps because he can. We hit the floor for a bit with Edge in control. Heyman grabs Edges foot so Brock can take over. Heyman goes insane, skipping around ringside and celebrating his triumph.
Never mind as Edge drops him almost immediately. Edge wants the Edgecution but Brock is like boy Im Brock and suplexes him. Back to the floor again and Edge is sent into the post. Back in and its all Lesnar as he works on the back. Brock gets a freaky looking Boston Crab where instead of wrapping his arms around the legs he grabs them with his hands and pulls back. Never seen that before.
Off to a chinlock which doesnt last incredibly long. Brock grabs him around the waist in more or less a reverse bearhug on the mat. Edge finally fights him off and has Brock in some trouble. Baseball slide drills Heyman again but Edge walks into a spinebuster to take over again. Lesnar charges in the corner and his shoulder goes into the post to give Edge a chance.
Edge speeds things up and hits an Edge-O-Matic (its that reverse X-Factor where he grabs the guy by the head and slams them into the mat back first) for two. Edge pulls Heyman in and apparently can pin him without him tagging in. Edge gets a dive off the top to the floor to take out Lesnar. Ok, why in the hell would you do that when you could just roll up Heyman and get the title?
Back in the ring a missile dropkick takes down Lesnar for two. The fans are getting into this now. Cross body takes out the referee by mistake and the F5 is countered into the Edgecution (elevated DDT since no one but me uses these names anymore). Paul throws Brock a chair but Edge gets a spear out of nowhere for two. Edge comes off the top but jumps into a chair shot and the F5 ends this.
Rating: B-. The main issue here was that it ran long, going almost 20 minutes. Fun stuff for the most part but at the same time it needed to be a bit shorter to really make this work as well as possible. Edge looked good as did Lesnar. You have to keep in mind here that Edge wasnt a main event guy yet and Brock was brand new to it. This would be almost like Miz vs. Kofi or something like that. Fun match though and it wasnt boring at all.
Heyman runs his mouth post match and runs into an Edgecution for his troubles.
Overall Rating: C. Well parts of it were bad, but the last two matches were both good and that makes up for a lot of the really bad stuff. This wasnt as bad as some of these matches were and Ive seen far many worse than this one. Nothing horrible here but some boring stuff brings this one down. The tag title and world title matches are good enough to make this worth a look though, but dont go out of your way.
