Quit Cheering For Me When I'm A Heel! by Raven

Discussion in 'Columns Lounge' started by TheOneBigWill, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. TheOneBigWill

    TheOneBigWill [This Space for Rent]

    May 28, 2007
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    Quit Cheering For Me When I'm A Heel: by Raven

    I was gonna write some more about commentators, but something came up that seemed more pressing. I will get back to commentators at some point, but I have A.d.d. and my interests fluctuate. I apologize to anyone who was waiting for more on commentators, but I believe my close personal lackey, the Disco Inferno is writing about Jim Lampley and Lennox Lewis, so that should hold you for a while.

    I wrote a blog on my website www.theraveneffect.com recently about fans cheering heels. I was making a distinction that when I’m a heel I would rather be booed and that booing is proper etiquette. Some of the fans on my website were bothered and somewhat alarmed by that and thought I was saying that they were wrong for doing what they want, cheering me. That somehow, I was for censoring, something I am unequivocally against. I decided therefore, to address this but in a somewhat larger forum. First I want to mention that true heels want to be booed. There are those workers who want adulation, but aren’t good enough to get over as babyfaces and become heels playing to the crowd. They are a pox on our business, but that is unimportant. We aren’t talking about those morons today. Those idiots will have their day in court, and the best part is they have no idea who they are. By virtue of what they are doing, unless they are incredibly self aware, they don’t even realize their own behavior because that would mean admitting they aren’t over, which to them they is nonsense, because they are being cheered. They must be over. Unfortunately, their job is to get booed. If you are a heel who is cheered by a small percentage of fans and yet you try to get booed, you are doing your job and there isn’t much you can do about it.

    For the people who missed my point about booing and cheering heels. Maybe I didn’t make my point clear. Maybe you weren’t paying attention. Maybe I did a shit-ass job of making a point. Maybe you had your collective heads up your collective asses. Maybe I’m a dum-dum and I need gum-gum, or maybe, just maybe, we all took hallucinogens in the 60's like in that movie Blue Sunshine, and turned into zombie f***s 10 years later. Maybe. Did anyone ever see that movie? That is the only reason I never took acid and thank Yahweh for that. Like I really needed one more drug to screw up my childhood addled brain. If only I had seen Requiem for a Dream twenty years earlier, even though it hadn’t been made yet, because maybe I wouldn’t have taken half the stupid shit I took. It should be required watching at all rehabs, even Lilo's and Brit-Brit's. That and the movie The Boost, with James Woods, and Sean Young; what a creepy pair those two were/are. Most other movies made me want to take more, those two made me want to quit, and Blue Sunshine kept me from ever taking acid. Interesting.

    I believe my A.d.d. sidebar is done. I like sidebars, A.d.d. influenced or not, because that is how people, or at least the Boss(me), thinks. Someday I will make a drawing, and probably not a particularly good one, because I can’t draw very well, but I do draw with passion(like that means dick when you can’t even draw stick figures), of how my brain functions. It will be very enlightening, I promise. Well it won’t be that enlightening, but it should be kinda funny and bizarre and that’s always kinda interesting . . . sort of.

    Anyway, my point was basically that if you just truly love certain heels and want to cheer them, that is your perogative, just like it was Britney's perogative to rape and pillage, and then vomit all over Bobby Brown's original version of his breakout anthem, "My Perogative". I’m all about freedom of choice, in fact I’m totally pro-choice. See how I sneakily slid in my view on Roe vs. Wade. The problem is, is that that isn’t why most people are doing it. Ladies and germs, this is my point. Most people are doing it to get themselves over, and using the stars as excuses. If you are doing it to be cool, you aren’t. If you are doing it to be disruptive, unfortunately you are, and if you are doing it to annoy the other fans, regrettably, you are right on your game plan, except, it really isn’t cool, and some guy with an afro should spit an apple on you, or perhaps, a berry, or a melon . . . . depending on what's in season.

    Look, if you really love a heel, or think that little of a baby face, that’s fine, do what you want. You spent your money, have as good a time as you want. I have absolutely nothing against that. Nothing. Nothing at all. That why I said it three times. In fact as long as you are having a great time and getting your money's worth, do whatever you want as long as you don’t ruin someone else's good time. Cheer, boo, stand-up, clap, do a wave, blow a kazoo, blow an air horn, blow the guy you came with in the parking lot, throw streamers, I like streamers, especially when I’m a babyface. Streamers are fun. How come no one throws me streamers. I want streamers. Booooooooo, you suck. Non-streamer throwing bastards. Look, whatever it is that floats your boat, get your boat floating and have a good time.

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