Online Relationships.

[Richard]

I just had a conversation with a friend of mine who has an online boyfriend and she told me they were arguing. I told her that online relationships shouldn't be taken so seriously and to not invest herself emotionally in a guy who she will never see.

I have never gotten into an online relationship, I see them as pointless and a waste of time. If you are not going to meet them, what's the point of calling yourself boyfriend/girlfriend?

So, online relationships. Opinions?

 

[Mr. TM]

Well Richard, that is pretty blind view. I have dated the same girl for 30 months, and I met her online. Online can be a girl/guy in the same city as you, and you meet over something like facebook. I met my girlfriend through a friend who had moved, so its not like she was stepping in blind when she started talking. She lived 12 hours from me, so one day, I went on a road trip and was able to meet her. I switched my university pick so we could live in the same city, and almost 3 years later, we are still together. I give my thumbs up to online relationships.

 

[FromTheSouth]

Ok, he means relationships that exist solely online. Like you live in Rome, she lives in Mississippi. Those are ridiculous. They exist for teenagers who have limited social skills. They think four hours of texting are going to make them more confident at school. Wrong! It is going to make them more clueless about face to face interaction.

 

[Rusty]

Well I do know some people that married their partner after many years even though they first met online. Hell, with chat rooms, msn, myspace and other discussion places it is fairly easy to meet someone of the opposite sex online. I've never had an online relationship before as I'm not a huge fan, but it works for other many people.

So Richard, I think you have a problem with long distance relationships, not online relationships. Long distance relationships are waste of time simply because you will most likely never meet this person especially if they live in a totally different country to you. I must say though, meeting someone in person is better simply because you know exactly what they look like and how they really are in person. Many people are different on the internet than what they are in person.

 

[a7xoff]

It really depends for me. I've known people that were in online relationships and they worked great for a while, however not seeing the other person very often if at all took a toll on the relationships. In the end none of them worked out. Some people who are really serious about them seem to figure out how to get them to work. In a sense long distance/online relationships require a lot more faith and trust than a close distance one. In not for anything else, one reason is simply that they require each person to have a lot of faith in the other that they will not be unfaithful to each other. I would imagine it is very hard for the person to find out about their partner say cheating if they are so far away.

Personally they are not for me. I'd much rather prefer to be able to see my g/f whenever it's convienet for the two of us. However for those that make it work, that's great for them, but for me, it just wouldn't work out at all.

 

[Slyfox696]

In my opinion, having a relationship that exists exclusively online is ridiculous. However, it is NOT ridiculous to have an online relationship, if it leads to real life interactions. I met my current girlfriend through a friend's page on MySpace, and one of my good friends met his fiancee on the Internet. He lives in Missouri, USA, and she lives in Canada (and is quite hot and VERY rich...I hate my friend).

But anyways, having an exclusively online relationship is just foolish if it never leads to real life interactions.

 

[eXtremely-Priceless2K9]

well.... serious they are stupid. not tryin 2 offend anyone who does hav a online BF/GF
but u could b 13 and THINK you are dating a 13-14 yr old BUT u r actually dating a 32 year old pedophile
so i give online relatinships a thumbs down

 

[Father:_Polley]

In my opinion, having a relationship that exists exclusively online is ridiculous. However, it is NOT ridiculous to have an online relationship, if it leads to real life interactions.
But anyways, having an exclusively online relationship is just foolish if it never leads to real life interactions.

Pretty much sums up everything I wanted to say. I mean, if you're 'dating' someone, but yet haven't met them, well, how is that different to an online friendship (It's not).

If you're sure the person is real and you intend to actually meet and date for real, well what's the harm in that. It's no different than texting someone and then deciding to go out.

Now if your friend is currently so bent out of shape that her and her bf who she has never met are 'fighting', tell her as respectfully as you can to get a real boyfriend

 

[HBK-aholic]

Yeah, I think they key point is being able to be with them someday. I know a couple of people who have met their boyfriend online, one of them recently got engaged. But it'd hurt me too much to 'be' with someone I had no chance of meeting. As I said above, if you will meet them one day, there's nothing wrong with it.

An important point to remember is that you can't help who you fall for. It's great to have friends online. But it's easy to turn friends into you feeling something more without realising it. So while it's fine for you to say you think it's stupid, it's not always as easy.

 

[My$terio_Fan]

Online dating is alright if you eventually meet and go on in a normal way. It is kinda silly to think you can fall in "love" with someone without meeting them, but I wouldn't say it doesn't happen. I just think you can't know if someone is right for you just by a picture and chatting online. Anybody can say what they like online, but in person it's different. It still doesn't mean I don't think it can happen but I don't think I could fall in love over the internet.

 

[Richard]

After reading all your responses I should have worded my initial post a bit better. I was talking about relationships that are 100% online and there would be no chance in meeting in real life at all.

TM, sorry if I offended you. I know what you mean and it's ok if you are going to meet up. I was talking about the 13 and 14 year old girls who go in a chat room and find some guy who they think they love and then invest themselves emotionally when there is no chance of meeting up because it wouldn't be possible with restraints such as countries.

One problem I have with the whole online thing, is that yes, you may be able to meet up once every few months and such, but what about the fact that cheating is very easy for both parties involved and the guy (Or in some cases the girl) could just be using the other one for just one thing. Someone to hook up with once in a while.

In my opinion, having a relationship that exists exclusively online is ridiculous. However, it is NOT ridiculous to have an online relationship, if it leads to real life interactions.

Again, I should have worded my initial post better, that's what I was meaning.
Also you have to think aswell, how often are the interactions going to be? Once a week? Once a month? Once every 2 or 3 months? I don't see the point if it were to be once every few months.

 

[HBK-aholic]

restraints such as countries.

Song lyrics come to mind here.

They've got Planes and Trains and Cars.

One problem I have with the whole online thing, is that yes, you may be able to meet up once every few months and such, but what about the fact that cheating is very easy for both parties involved and the guy (Or in some cases the girl) could just be using the other one for just one thing. Someone to hook up with once in a while.

Cheating is a problem with ANY relationship. Trust is the key, and that goes for all relationships. If you trust them, and actually love them, neither will be tempted to cheat.

 

[dirtyshubb]

Overall from what i have seen with firends who have had onlibe relationships they have always failed and ended quite badly.

The problem is when you meet people online they could be anyone, now i dont mean that they could be a man pretending to be a 14 year old girl (although they could ) but that you have a lot more time to put into your responses and how you come accross to someone.

Now when you actually meet people you dont really have that option as body language greatly helps to show not only what sort of person they are but to help cut through the bullshit that people give i order to present themselves in a good fashion.

Another problem with these sort or relationships is sooner or later distrust will set in, yes you can say i trust them fully but without that personal interaction at some point something will happen, be it neglecting to call on a few occasions or stories of being friends with someone who is of the opposite sex or even an ex (which i have heard happen from friends experiences) ect that will make you start doubting and once it starts down that path it rarely gets any better from taht point on.

Of course it can work out in a few instances but overall i wouldnt go anywhere near an online relationship as it brings up far too many problems that could be avoided for the most part with a conventional realationship.

 

[Tim]

I believe that online relationships are completely stupid, unless it's someone that you are going to see or someone that was in a relationship with you, but now you can't see them. If you aren't going to see someone you've supposedly got a serious relationship with, then why even bother? It's not going to lead anywhere, and you don't even know whether the person yu are speaking to is who they say they are. They could be 20 years older than they say.

Online, you can say things that aren't true, you can lie easily. You can just type a sentence, even if you don't mean it. This is what happens all too often in online relationships, and the two people are not being honest with each other. You should always be honest in a relationship, but online nothing really matters. It doesn't really mean anything to have an online relationship, unless it leads to you meeting them. But if it does not, then you are wasting your time in an online relatonship where if you do want a relationship, you should go out and try and find someone for you.

Song lyrics come to mind here.

They've got planes and trains and cars

I really can't believe you said this. You're going to travel across countries, maybe even continents, to meet someone that you met onjline? You might not even know what the person looks like. You almost certainly won't know their true selves, unless they are some naïve student that has confided their deepest darkest secrets in a stranger. You have to be extremely desperate if you travel across countries to meet someone that you are in an online relationship with.

 

[The Snake]

Not a problem with it for me, but I think it should stem more from friendship as opposed to looking online for a relationship, I'm not quite sure about my reasoning for this, maybe sort of the idea of it being "easy" online to find a relationship is a little bit undermining.

I think one of the key things to get out of peoples heads can be that the monitor is some sort of disguise over everyone. Sure, some people can use it like that, you can't establish tone or see body language from the internet, but I think if you go on the right sort of sites and be a little bit careful, then there is no reason why you can't make some good friends on the net.

On the subject of never meeting them, erm.... at what point does this constitute a relationship? I would hate to speak for everyone else, but just saying "Oh I'm in a relationship with this guy" does not make it true, the furthest you can push it to is that you are their friend, I have made a few friends on the net, from various places, I have never met anyone from there (mainly because they are from other countries), but I know they are genuine enough to talk to and stuff.

If people start saying they are in a relationship with someone they met online it is a complete lie, what sort of fun are they actually having, do they actually get gratification from it? Do they see a long term future? So, all in all, I will conclude that the title in indeed an oxymoron, as my view of what constitutes a relationship, does not coincide with it being solely via internet, keyboard, mouse and webcam.