Online Dating.

[The Rob]

Online dating appears to be quite popular these days, even with people my own age. A friend of mine met her current boyfriend off a dating site and their now living together and are extremely happy so it obviously works occasionally. She suggested I make an account on that dating site (Plenty of Fish it's called, it's quite a popular one) and, even if I didn't end up meeting anyone off it, I'd just have a look anyway. So I have made one, written about myself and had a look around and I have to say it's actually okay. I was unsure as to whether it would be any good but I've had several conversations with people off Plenty of Fish and even added a few of them on Facebook after extensive conversations.

Who else here has at least had a look at online dating before? What's your opinions on it in general?

 

[Dagger Dias]

I can offer some advice, speaking as someone who met their spouse online. Online dating is worth trying. The thing most people do wrong about it is relying far too much on emailing. If you are going to date someone then you need to actually DATE them, not just send them emails or instant/text messages. Even if you are long distance you can call each other and make visits to go on real dates. I met my wife on eHarmony. She was still in California at the time while I was in Texas. We made it work because we talked daily (on the phone, not just emailing) and had frequent visits to see each other. One would fly out to see the other for a week or two, then we'd alternate on who would be traveling each time, until we got married and she moved down here. It can work and is certainly worth a try provided that you treat as you would any other relationship, don't just message them. You need to DATE them, online or not. Hope that helped some.

 

[SalvIsWin]

Online dating appears to be quite popular these days, even with people my own age. A friend of mine met her current boyfriend off a dating site and their now living together and are extremely happy so it obviously works occasionally. She suggested I make an account on that dating site (Plenty of Fish it's called, it's quite a popular one) and, even if I didn't end up meeting anyone off it, I'd just have a look anyway. So I have made one, written about myself and had a look around and I have to say it's actually okay. I was unsure as to whether it would be any good but I've had several conversations with people off Plenty of Fish and even added a few of them on Facebook after extensive conversations.

Who else here has at least had a look at online dating before? What's your opinions on it in general?

My fiancee's roommate uses Plenty of Fish, it's popular because it's free. As far as I know, Plenty of Fish has a lot of people because it's free, but you also get a lot of hassle with the website because of this. I don't think they delete old accounts, and I'm quite certain they have fake accounts message you to say they're interested to entice you to keep using the website, but I'm not positive on that.

In my opinion, if you're actually looking for a long-term relationship, you should pay for a website that has additional features like pair-matching, more customized accounts, and a staff that will get rid of accounts that are old or from people just trolling other people (which I think is a problem on POF).

As far as online dating in general is concerned, I think it's fine and probably a decent idea. I know quite a few people who have at least made an account and tried it, but I don't think they had much luck - I think they were surprised at the amount of work you have to put into it. I think as a male you have to spend time sending other people messages rather than putting up a picture and some information and expecting a flood of requests or comments.

Good luck.

 

[D-Man]

I have different views about online dating.

I've been a part of Match.com and PlentyofFish for quite some time now and I've had no luck. It amazes me how picky women become when they're choosing a man from behind a computer screen. I understand that no one really wants to settle, but then again, no one is willing to bend a little bit for someone else. When it comes to the women I'm attracted to, they have non-negotiable prerequisites that have to be met in order to make it past the "I'm only going to going at your pictures before I even bother reading your profile" stage. They include things like height requirements, income levels, and activities that MUST include working out at least 3-4 times per week.

Sure, I've been out with a few women, but mostly because I've been ignoring many of my own standards to try and find someone. I've realized that NO ONE is going to fit every one of my categories and I'm only wasting my time if I don't keep an open mind. I just wish that women did the same thing. While they're turning me down because I'm only 5'8" and work out less than they require, my only red flag towards them is if they fall into the overweight category. (Granted, I'm not trying to find the female version of Skeletor but I at least want a women who isn't obese. And if she's overweight, as long as she's got nice curves then I'm a happy camper.) Looks are also important and I can understand anyone's views on it. But women need to realize that men can't get taller and things like height should not make or break their choices in men... that's just unfair.

Anyway, my point is that online dating is a process, and a patient one at that. None of us are going to find the right match overnight. It takes lots of work, process of elimination, and patience. But in the end, if enough of the work is put in, online dating can really be a positive tool.

 

[Dagger Dias]

my point is that online dating is a process, and a patient one at that. None of us are going to find the right match overnight. It takes lots of work, process of elimination, and patience. But in the end, if enough of the work is put in, online dating can really be a positive tool.

I left out this part. Thanks for bringing that up, D-Man.

I had to be VERY patient even during my run on eHarmony. I went through many other matches (no joke) before I found my princess. I activated the account around Christmas and it wasn't until the following April that I got matched with her. I gave several of those other ladies a chance but sometimes either you or she will notice that you aren't clicking. That's ok. People get discouraged by that, but if you are looking for a tag team partner in the romantic sense, you have to be willing to search for that needle in the haystack. I did have to compromise in the end some too, my wife has a tatoo and the ONLY part of my long list of standards she didn't fit was being tatoo free. She had to compromise too, I cannot play a musical instrument but fit the rest of her list. Patience and the process of elimination are just as important in the online form of dating as they are in "traditional" dating. It can work out if both people are willing to be patient and put in the work, the end result is beautiful. However, those who are impatient will struggle and may be better off sticking to traditional dating or having friends with benefits, depending on what the person is looking for in particular. Knowing what you want beforehand helps too.

 

[Vega]

I have different views about online dating.

I've been a part of Match.com and PlentyofFish for quite some time now and I've had no luck. It amazes me how picky women become when they're choosing a man from behind a computer screen. I understand that no one really wants to settle, but then again, no one is willing to bend a little bit for someone else. When it comes to the women I'm attracted to, they have non-negotiable prerequisites that have to be met in order to make it past the "I'm only going to going at your pictures before I even bother reading your profile" stage. They include things like height requirements, income levels, and activities that MUST include working out at least 3-4 times per week.

Sure, I've been out with a few women, but mostly because I've been ignoring many of my own standards to try and find someone. I've realized that NO ONE is going to fit every one of my categories and I'm only wasting my time if I don't keep an open mind. I just wish that women did the same thing. While they're turning me down because I'm only 5'8" and work out less than they require, my only red flag towards them is if they fall into the overweight category. (Granted, I'm not trying to find the female version of Skeletor but I at least want a women who isn't obese. And if she's overweight, as long as she's got nice curves then I'm a happy camper.) Looks are also important and I can understand anyone's views on it. But women need to realize that men can't get taller and things like height should not make or break their choices in men... that's just unfair.

Anyway, my point is that online dating is a process, and a patient one at that. None of us are going to find the right match overnight. It takes lots of work, process of elimination, and patience. But in the end, if enough of the work is put in, online dating can really be a positive tool.

I think everyone can have standards as high as wanted, in the end it's a thing of supply and demand. I don't think there's a moral obligation to consider someone, and I'm saying that as a guy who's only 5'7", rather lazy and possesses little charm. If a girl is not attracted to smaller men, is that really her fault? If her standards are too high, she'll be alone, so she can either drop some of them or has to put up with loneliness. I'd even say everyone has standards as high as maintainable. In the past it were mainly men who had higher standards and judged women by their look. Today it's more like an "open market" I'd say.

Anyway, I wasn't really a member of dating sites, just took a look and deleted my account some hours later. My expectations are too special for a standard dating site and I'd like to meet someone without dating thoughts first. I found a girlfriend over a normal internet forum, but I'm not with her anymore (too much distance and different views on life).