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No Surrender 2009
Date: September 20, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We keep going with the TNA in 2009 series as we hit the show where both Bobby Lashley debuts and we have a big old mess for the world title as its a scheduled 4 man world title match that would be changed to five at some point in the show. Sting is defending the title against AJ, Angle and Morgan while Lashley is debuting against Rhyno. Oh and theres a Lethal Lockdown match because we havent had enough of those in a year right?Other than that its your typically decent TNA show at this point so lets get to it.
The opening video is in black and white and consists of someone singing in overly enthusiastic Italian. Now we shift into some heavy metal with people brawling and faster Italian singing. Ill just assume theres some deep/ironic meaning here that I just dont get and move on.
Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde/Sarita
This is the finals of a tournament where if you can believe it they actually had eight teams for. The Beautiful People here arent the originals as Angelina Love has been thrown out of TNA because of visa issues but shell be back soon. Wow those red belts are ugly. Earl Hebner comes out for some reason and takes over the refereeing job because Slick Johnson has been seen in the shower with Madison. Ok then. The non-Beautiful chicks take over on Velvet quickly with Sarita getting a bunch of covers as the smart fans shout dos.
Theyre tagging in and out very quickly here and Madison finally takes Sarita down to take over. Madison looks better as a blonde .maybe. Velvet cant even throw her by the hair properly. Dropkick by Sarita misses and Velvet gets two out of it. Tornado DDT gets the Canadican out of trouble and its off to Madison and Taylor. Apparently Scott DAmore has said Wilde/Sarita remind him of a female Rock N Roll Express. Even the announcers crush that idea dead as a springboard dropkick/German suplex combination give Sarita and Taylor the titles in a quick match.
Rating: D. This was really quite bad but the girls looked good out there which is the right thing for the most part. They were missing moves out there like crazy and it made the whole thing look like a joke for the most part. They did what they could but Sarita was way off and Taylor cant carry a match by herself. Anyway, weak match here and it sucked for the most part. By the way, this was less than five minutes and was the second longest match of the tournament.
The card is run down, including Pope vs. Suicide in a falls count anywhere match. Why falls count anywhere you ask? Well who cares as its a gimmick added onto the match.
The new champions brag a bit.
We recap Hernandez vs. Eric Young. Young is the head of World Elite here and wanted Hernandez to join but he said no, setting up this match.
World Elite, a HUGE group, says theyre going to do what it takes to teach Hernandez a lesson even though they care about him. Homicide is on the team also. Young isnt going to fight apparently as hes in a suit.
Eric Young vs. Hernandez
Hernandez has a Feast or Fired case which is more or less MITB. Young is in a suit and doesnt fight back. Hernandez destroys him in less than a minute with the Border Toss. Clearly this needed to be on PPV right?
Morgan says its about insanity tonight. He says to Kurt that theyre both thoroughbreds and its in their blood to compete. Tonight its the two of them against each other (I guess Sting and AJ are forgotten) and hes the future.
Recap of Joe vs. Daniels who dont like each other because theyve fought forever and Daniels can never win. Joe is X Champion again here and is also Main Event Mafia, having been bought off and turning on TNA at Slammiversary. This is the showdown .three months after he turned but whatever.
X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels
Joe has the face tattoo here. He really should yell at the guy that gave him that thing if its already gone. Joe hammers him in the corner and Daniels is in trouble early. Daniels speeds things up a bit and hits a suicide dive to the floor. Back in though he jumps into a Rock Bottom and Joe strikes away. Theres a nerve hold by Joe as I guess he didnt have a Twinkie to give him the extra energy for this match.
Snap powerslam gets two on Daniels. Daniels gets punched in the face a lot as he employs the Rocky Balboa defensive strategy. A jawbreaker, bulldog and guillotine legdrop manage to send Joe to the floor so Daniels can dive on him. And never mind as Joe sends him into the steps to retake the advantage. As Daniels is getting back in Joe clips him in the back of the knee which is kind of unique considering hes on the apron already.
Back in the ring Joe keeps mixing it up again and in a move Ive never seen before he catches Daniels in a hot shot position and sits down with it, driving Daniels knees straight into the mat. Cool move. Joe grabs a legbar and Daniels has to go to the rope to escape. Powerbomb shifts into an STF as this has been 90% Joe. Daniels avoids a kick and takes over with some fast strikes, including a top rope clothesline for two.
Joe is like screw that youre keeping me from the buffet and hits a half nelson suplex for a close two. The fans chant for the X Division which never made a ton of sense to me. If theres no weight limit then wouldnt everyone be in the X-Division? If thats the case, how can it be a division? STO looks to set up the BME but the knee gives out. Angels Wings doesnt work and theres the Clutch and were done.
Rating: C+. I still dont like Daniels and dont get the appeal of him but this wasnt bad. Not much of a match as it was almost all Joe here, but they did what they could I guess. Joe continues his dominance and Daniels continues to lose so I guess some things never change. Anyway, not bad here.
Foley, the guest commentator later, has his portrait destroyed which has him all annoyed. I think it would be revealed that Abyss did it.
We recap Pope vs. Suicide which more or less is I dont like you and you dont like me. Yeah I have no idea why theyre fighting. I even read the LD for this show and even then I had no idea why they were fighting. That says a lot.
Pope says something about excommunicating Suicide. During the middle of the promo he stops to have a shot of 6 Hour Energy which is sponsoring the show. Funny bit and then Suicide jumps him. And lets cut away from that and go to the arena to see the referrer running to the back to film this. So .what was wrong with the camera they had there already? Whatever dude.
Suicide vs. DAngelo Dinero
Falls count anywhere and theyre already in the back when this starts. Pope drops an elbow off some anvil cases but hurts himself in the process. This is being written the day after Randy Savage died so that hurt a bit to see. Suicide grabs a small package for two as we more or less have a hardcore match here. They fought on Impact apparently and this is the rematch.
Pope gets backdropped into a small dumpster for two. Lets get a golf cart to run over Suicide with now. So its an attempted homicide on Suicide? Pope climbs a small fence and Suicide pulls his shorts down. Thankfully he has regular tights on under it. Naturally Suicide pulls those down too and yeah there it is. For some reason Pope cant pull them up for awhile so theres your visual for the match.
In the arena now and Pope rings the bell on Suicides head and talks about Jingle Bells for no apparent reason. Hey lets go to the ring for a change of pace. More brawling follows and its table time. Suicide takes a belly to back suplex on the ramp for two. Neither guy can get thrown off the ramp through a table so Suicide covers on the stage for two. He takes over and hammers away on the stage for another few minutes with nothing of note happening. Pope gets put on a table but the double leg drop through it misses and were done.
Rating: C-. Its just a hardcore match. I tend to say that a lot when I review these but a lot of the time theres nothing to distinguish these from any others that occur. This probably ran too long as its about 12 minutes, especially given how long there was between a lot of the bigger moves. Not a very good match but hardcore matches are all about on the same level anyway so well say this was fine, if not a bit generic. Also did anyone expect Pope to lose when he used the sponsors product?
We recap ODB vs. Cody Deaner. Oh dear its this angle again. There was a mixed tag at Hard Justice where ODB and Deaner teamed up and if their team won, she got the title. Deaner got the pin so he said he should be Womens Knockout Champion. Foley vacated the title and made man vs. woman for the Womens Title. Just get it over with already.
Knockout Title: Cody Deaner vs. ODB
Oh and these two used to date. That needs to be thrown in for no apparent reason. Naturally its a comedy match with ODB dominating. Low blow doesnt work on ODB of course because she doesnt have balls. Out to the floor and she dives on Deaner to take him down. Deaner isnt allowed to punch her apparently which wasnt announced but the referee says so and thats law I guess.
Deaner slams her as this turns into ever other man vs. woman match with the guy doing very basic stuff to her and its supposed to be all devastating and no one cares. Deaner gets a shot from the flask so ODB grabs him by the balls as he comes off the middle rope. Thesz Press gets two for ODB and I remember watching this match, thinking if not begging that they wouldnt let Deaner have the belt. Deaner and the referee argue into a rollup for two by ODB. Theres a comedy spot on a sunset flip and were finally done after a TKO to give ODB the title.
Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but the joke sucked and I dont know how many people cared about ODB at the end of the day. At least she has the title and breasts which is the point of the title. Anyway pretty weak match here but it was at least somewhat competitive which is all you can ask for at times.
ODB says she had to win. Lauren is so pretty.
Angle isnt worried because hes smarter than Morgan. Theres a mention of fairy tales and AJ and Sting will lose apparently.
Legends Title: Abyss vs. Kevin Nash
This is part 84745 of Stevie Richards vs. Abyss. Richards was his anti-hardcore therapist and then turned on him, putting out a $50,000 bounty on him. Nash had an interesting character going here, saying that he was in it all for the money and being a champion allowed him to charge more at autograph signings. Thats a nice twist on things actually. Foley is on commentary here.
Abyss is in his weird clap a lot and be all socially weird stage. Nash mocks the clapping which is kind of funny. Nash hammers him down to start and takes him to the corner, pounding away as fast as he can, meaning its a slow paced match. Tazz and Foley crack some jokes about Vince yelling in announcers ears. They both try chokeslams but Nash goes with a right hand instead.
Out to the floor with Nash missing a chair shot, instead hitting the post. Now what did that post ever do to him before? Nash is rammed into various metal objects and we head back into the ring. Dr. Stevie is sitting on the stage. More hammering away commences with neither guy being able to take over. We talk about Jeep Swenson for no apparent reason as Abyss gets a side slam for two.
Stevie comes towards the ring and Daffney pops in with a taser. Black Hole Slam takes her down as I actually see some of the zombie hot they talk about with her at times. In all of the commotion Nash gets a chair shot to Abyss head for two. Jackknife doesnt work and Abyss gets most of a chokeslam for two. Abyss asks Foley for the barbed wire bat but as Foley tries to give it to him, Nash tases Abyss in the balls to end this.
Rating: C-. Standard battle of the big men here and surprisingly enough Nash didnt ruin it. Nash really does get a bad rap at times but when hes in the midcard and not on top of the company and making himself the focal point of the show hes rather watchable. Abyss would get even worse as time went by, making his push all the more head scratching. Anyway, pretty ok match here but nothing great at all.
Booker and Steiner, the tag champions, dont like the British Invasion, their partners in the tag team Lethal Lockdown. Steiner says he doesnt like British people, or Canadians. Or any foreigners for that matter. Either speak our language or get out!
We recap Lethal Lockdown. Theres absolutely no reason why this is a tandem tag team match for no titles or anything like that but it is anyway.
Booker T/Scott Steiner/British Invasion vs. Beer Money/Team 3D
Its Wargames: start with a person per team for five minutes then another from one team comes in for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes then its tied for two minutes and so on until were at 4 each. Then the roof comes down with weapons and its first fall wins. The heels, Steiner/Booker/Brits, have the advantage. The Mafia members are TNA Tag Champions and the Brits are IWGP Tag Champions because TNA thinks most Americans care about those titles. Douglas Williams vs. James Storm to start us off.
Williams leaves the cage to try to jump Storm which doesnt work at all. Into the cage now as the fans are behind Storm sort of but other than that theyre rather quiet. Storm gets a reverse tornado DDT but he cant cover since not everyone is in. This is more or less just a slow paced one on one match here with no one really taking over. Granted that might be because theres no need to have this be in Lethal Lockdown.
Eye of the Storm (spinning release Razors Edge) sets up some choking but Williams kicks him low to reverse the momentum again. We have a minute left and Williams team will get the next man in. In second is Brutus Magnus so its 2-1 for two minutes. Storm wisely dropkicks the door onto his face before he can get in but Williams sends Storm into the ropes, allowing Magnus to slam the door onto Storms back to take over.
The Brits like to shake hands a lot. A lot of time is wasted here as were almost at two minutes and Storm is busted open. Its been two minutes and theres no clock. Ah theres the countdown but it was more like 2:15. In next is Robert Roode to make it a tag team cage match which again shows THERE WAS NO POINT TO THIS BEING LETHAL LOCKDOWN. Some nice double teaming by Beer Money gives them the advantage as the crowd only kind of seems to care.
The annoying Impact Zone fans count down the clock from like 30 seconds because they need to be a part of the show right? Anyway in next is Steiner which kind of surprises me. Steiner busts out come clotheslines and suplexes so Tenay makes a small wisecrack about that being all he does. Taz takes exception to being criticized for only using suplexes in a slightly funny moment. Frankensteiner (or what is now called that) kills Storm and the beating is on.
The clock is on as one of the problems with this match comes into focus: it takes about 15 seconds for someone to come from the back and get into the cage. That doesnt sound like a long time but when you only have two minutes before the next intro and the countdown clock comes on at 15 seconds to go, you have about 1:30 to do your thing with the focus on you. However, about 45 seconds of that is just you hitting random moves on everyone at a fast pace, leaving you with about 45 seconds to use teamwork. Its very fast paced and something that wasnt as much of an issue in WarGames with everyone on the floor.
Anyway D-Von and company take over as we wait on Booker and Bubba to get here to even the numbers out. Also, one ring with eight guys in it is WAY too crowded. I think one year there were only six people in this match and it worked far better. Heres Booker as not a lot happened in D-Vons time. Booker walks even slower, showing off the tag titles. He took about 40 seconds to get there and somehow none of the faces were standing there waiting on him. How can you not pick up on that?
Steiner hits the floor and chokes Roode with the cage door as were waiting on Bubba with about 20 seconds to go. The clock is extended a bit more this time as Booker got about 2:15 in his period if you can call it that. Ray comes down but Rob Terry jumps him in the aisle and then nails him with a chair. Terry then yells at the guy that controls the roof of the cage to come down and here come the weapons.
Ok so now its first fall by either pin or submission. Well at least there are only seven people in the ring which helps a tiny bit. On the floor Ray avoids another chair shot and takes Terry out with a shot to the head. Hes in now with the chair, drilling all heels with some WEAK chair shots and here come the good guys. A trashcan gets put on someones balls and Bubba drills it with a crutch, prompting Tazz to yell YAMBAG YAHTZEE!!!
Brutus and Beer Money go to the top of the cage and its a double team suplex to Magnus. Im terrified of heights so Id be scared to death up there. BEER MONEY is shouted up there and its 3D to Steiner from .well from 3D. Does that mean they can charge more for not much of a difference in the visual aspect of it? Book End takes down Bubba but its time for heel miscommunication. Blockbuster by Roode to Booker and DWI ends Williams for the pin.
Rating: B. Lethal Lockdown is a match that automatically gets a higher grade to start and this is right about in the middle for one. The biggest problem is obvious: there is zero reason this needed to be Lethal Lockdown at all. This should have been a pair of tags or maybe a Survivor Series style match. Not much of note but again Lethal Lockdown on its own is inherently cool so it gets a good grade.
Rhyno says Lashley (the greatest MMA fighter in the world according to Lauren which made everyone in the IWC roll their eyes at once) isnt in MMA tonight because this is wrestling. Oh and hes a War Machine.
Tazz is curious about why Rhyno would give up his game plan by saying hell win with a Gore. WHEN DOES HE EVER USE ANYTHING ELSE?????
They run through the card so far, I guess for people that decided to pay $40 for the last 50 minutes of the show.
Rhyno vs. Bobby Lashley
No real feud here as they just threw Rhyno out there as his first opponent, which is far better than like Kiyoshi or some no name guy. And Lashley gets almost no reaction. I mean there is NOTHING. You can look at the fans and theyre just sitting there. THIS IS THE IMPACT ZONE AND HES GETTING NO REACTION. Let that sink in a bit. Also, who thought it was a good idea to put the feature match on after a major gimmick match?
Out to the floor early as this is more or less a power brawl. Theyre treating this like Lashleys first wrestling match ever because TNA is kind of stupid at times. Spinebuster gets two back in the ring for Rhyno. He works on the back as its so cute that he thinks he has a chance to win here. Taz talks about Rhynos mindset of me against the world because TNA wants Lashley to win for the sake of making him a star, which makes sense.
Lashley gets an elbow up to break Rhynos momentum and a hip toss of all things. The crowd flat out does not care here and its painfully obvious. Rhyno is bleeding from next to the eye and there goes the referee due to a spear from Lashley. Gore gets two as theres another referee here. Another Gore attempt is countered by .a punch, which ends this. I guess its his MMA training that allows him to do that? Terrible, terrible ending.
Rating: D. Weak match here as no one bought Rhyno as having a chance but more importantly no one, and I mean NO ONE was interested in Lashley. Its no real shock that he was gone in less than six months as the interest in the whole MMA thing just wasnt there because, and I know this is a shock to wrestling writers: WRESTLING FANS WANT TO SEE WRESTLING, NOT MIXED MARTIAL ARTS. Anyway, weak match and indicative of Lashleys time in TNA.
AJ and Sting are in the back and AJ is glad he didnt retire. The idea here was that AJ had wanted to retire because of his recent losses and Sting told him not to and thats about it.
We recap the four guys in the main event. AJ and Sting I explained, Morgan wants to get his hands on Angle for being all evil to him as Morgan wants to be in the Mafia. Angle is champion and there were a lot of qualifying matches for the rest of the guys which dont matter.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles
We get the walking to the ring shots for all four guys and each guy gets a quick video about them also. AJ is listed as a three time world champion, meaning NWA title reigns count, which makes me wonder why Abyss is NEVER listed as a former world champion. These intros are taking FOREVER. There are a bunch of No Surrender posters in the hall coming out of Angles room as I guess they wanted to make sure their employees bought the show?
Tenay talks about bringing the title back to the family of the Mafia. You know, where it already is. We even do big match intros because a regular entrance, a video on each guy and watching them come to the ring isnt enough I guess. And were STILL not done because as Angle is getting ready to be introduced, heres Hernandez saying he didnt come here just to wrestle for five minutes. More like 50 seconds but whatever. Hes jumping into this match instead of, you know, WAITING FOR IT TO BE OVER, but no one ever accused him of being smart.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles vs. Hernandez
The Lashley match ended nearly 17 minutes ago and the bell hasnt rung yet for this one. Hernandez destroys Angle while everyone else watches which is a nice touch. He literally holds Angle up for 30 seconds in a vertical suplex and Angle is mostly dead. THERES THE BELL, 19 minutes after the previous match ended. Angle and Hernandez go to the floor so its more or less a triple threat in the ring.
Morgan is dominating in the ring as Hernandez sets for a Border Toss on the stage. Heres Eric Young who hits Hernandez with a pipe and piledrives him on the stage. Thats all well be seeing out of Hernandez here, meaning they wasted the last year for him with the briefcase and his time in the main event here ran about three minutes. AJ takes Sting down with a dropkick as Hernandez is helped to the back.
Angle is back at ringside now so AJ dives on him and Morgan. Morgan and Angle seem to team up as apparently Angle took the bullet for him on that dive. A tombstone doesnt work for AJ as Angle rolls into the ankle lock. Morgan and Sting go inside now and there are the elbows in the corner. With AJ down its Angle/Morgan double teaming Sting as the match is dragging a bit already.
AJ pops up out of nowhere with the springboard clothesline on Angle. Fallaway slam to AJ by Morgan but Sting is back up now. Things are speeding back up a bit now as AJ pounds away on Matt, only to walk into a belly to belly by Angle. Morgan and Angle get into a contest of who can beat up AJ worse for awhile as Sting is stuck on the floor. Angle charges into the post so Morgan takes AJ down with a dropkick.
Pele puts Morgan down but Angle suplexes Styles. Did Sting die or something? Hes been gone for like five minutes now. Ah there he is with a missile dropkick to Angle but he might have hurt his shoulder. AJ pops back into it and hits a Styles Clash to Angle for two as Morgan saves. Hellevator gets the same on AJ. Death Drop to Morgan for two. Scorpion to Angle is countered into the ankle lock but a Carbon Footprint takes down Angle. Morgan goes to the floor and Sting stares at AJ. Sting dives on Morgan as AJ hits a springboard 450 to Angle for the title.
Rating: C-. I wasnt feeling it here for the most part as they kept going back and forth two at a time which got rather boring after awhile. The ending was fine I guess as it set up Sting vs. AJ at BFG in a respect match, but the rest was pretty dull. The Hernandez aspect was such a waste but no one ever accused TNA of thinking these things through did they?
Daniels comes out and a bunch of fans get into the ring for the big celebration. The wide shot showing that its only about 60% full is a weak touch but theyre trying at least.
Overall Rating: D-. Bad show overall as most of the stuff wasnt very good or had no business being on PPV. The main event is weak and Lashleys featured match was just bad. Lethal Lockdown is one of the weakest theyve ever had and even with seventeen minutes spent getting ready for the main event they had to add in a twelve minute bonus match. Not impressed here at all and it wasnt much to see. I was bored when I watched it live and I was bored here. Bad show all around.
Date: September 20, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We keep going with the TNA in 2009 series as we hit the show where both Bobby Lashley debuts and we have a big old mess for the world title as its a scheduled 4 man world title match that would be changed to five at some point in the show. Sting is defending the title against AJ, Angle and Morgan while Lashley is debuting against Rhyno. Oh and theres a Lethal Lockdown match because we havent had enough of those in a year right?Other than that its your typically decent TNA show at this point so lets get to it.
The opening video is in black and white and consists of someone singing in overly enthusiastic Italian. Now we shift into some heavy metal with people brawling and faster Italian singing. Ill just assume theres some deep/ironic meaning here that I just dont get and move on.
Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde/Sarita
This is the finals of a tournament where if you can believe it they actually had eight teams for. The Beautiful People here arent the originals as Angelina Love has been thrown out of TNA because of visa issues but shell be back soon. Wow those red belts are ugly. Earl Hebner comes out for some reason and takes over the refereeing job because Slick Johnson has been seen in the shower with Madison. Ok then. The non-Beautiful chicks take over on Velvet quickly with Sarita getting a bunch of covers as the smart fans shout dos.
Theyre tagging in and out very quickly here and Madison finally takes Sarita down to take over. Madison looks better as a blonde .maybe. Velvet cant even throw her by the hair properly. Dropkick by Sarita misses and Velvet gets two out of it. Tornado DDT gets the Canadican out of trouble and its off to Madison and Taylor. Apparently Scott DAmore has said Wilde/Sarita remind him of a female Rock N Roll Express. Even the announcers crush that idea dead as a springboard dropkick/German suplex combination give Sarita and Taylor the titles in a quick match.
Rating: D. This was really quite bad but the girls looked good out there which is the right thing for the most part. They were missing moves out there like crazy and it made the whole thing look like a joke for the most part. They did what they could but Sarita was way off and Taylor cant carry a match by herself. Anyway, weak match here and it sucked for the most part. By the way, this was less than five minutes and was the second longest match of the tournament.
The card is run down, including Pope vs. Suicide in a falls count anywhere match. Why falls count anywhere you ask? Well who cares as its a gimmick added onto the match.
The new champions brag a bit.
We recap Hernandez vs. Eric Young. Young is the head of World Elite here and wanted Hernandez to join but he said no, setting up this match.
World Elite, a HUGE group, says theyre going to do what it takes to teach Hernandez a lesson even though they care about him. Homicide is on the team also. Young isnt going to fight apparently as hes in a suit.
Eric Young vs. Hernandez
Hernandez has a Feast or Fired case which is more or less MITB. Young is in a suit and doesnt fight back. Hernandez destroys him in less than a minute with the Border Toss. Clearly this needed to be on PPV right?
Morgan says its about insanity tonight. He says to Kurt that theyre both thoroughbreds and its in their blood to compete. Tonight its the two of them against each other (I guess Sting and AJ are forgotten) and hes the future.
Recap of Joe vs. Daniels who dont like each other because theyve fought forever and Daniels can never win. Joe is X Champion again here and is also Main Event Mafia, having been bought off and turning on TNA at Slammiversary. This is the showdown .three months after he turned but whatever.
X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels
Joe has the face tattoo here. He really should yell at the guy that gave him that thing if its already gone. Joe hammers him in the corner and Daniels is in trouble early. Daniels speeds things up a bit and hits a suicide dive to the floor. Back in though he jumps into a Rock Bottom and Joe strikes away. Theres a nerve hold by Joe as I guess he didnt have a Twinkie to give him the extra energy for this match.
Snap powerslam gets two on Daniels. Daniels gets punched in the face a lot as he employs the Rocky Balboa defensive strategy. A jawbreaker, bulldog and guillotine legdrop manage to send Joe to the floor so Daniels can dive on him. And never mind as Joe sends him into the steps to retake the advantage. As Daniels is getting back in Joe clips him in the back of the knee which is kind of unique considering hes on the apron already.
Back in the ring Joe keeps mixing it up again and in a move Ive never seen before he catches Daniels in a hot shot position and sits down with it, driving Daniels knees straight into the mat. Cool move. Joe grabs a legbar and Daniels has to go to the rope to escape. Powerbomb shifts into an STF as this has been 90% Joe. Daniels avoids a kick and takes over with some fast strikes, including a top rope clothesline for two.
Joe is like screw that youre keeping me from the buffet and hits a half nelson suplex for a close two. The fans chant for the X Division which never made a ton of sense to me. If theres no weight limit then wouldnt everyone be in the X-Division? If thats the case, how can it be a division? STO looks to set up the BME but the knee gives out. Angels Wings doesnt work and theres the Clutch and were done.
Rating: C+. I still dont like Daniels and dont get the appeal of him but this wasnt bad. Not much of a match as it was almost all Joe here, but they did what they could I guess. Joe continues his dominance and Daniels continues to lose so I guess some things never change. Anyway, not bad here.
Foley, the guest commentator later, has his portrait destroyed which has him all annoyed. I think it would be revealed that Abyss did it.
We recap Pope vs. Suicide which more or less is I dont like you and you dont like me. Yeah I have no idea why theyre fighting. I even read the LD for this show and even then I had no idea why they were fighting. That says a lot.
Pope says something about excommunicating Suicide. During the middle of the promo he stops to have a shot of 6 Hour Energy which is sponsoring the show. Funny bit and then Suicide jumps him. And lets cut away from that and go to the arena to see the referrer running to the back to film this. So .what was wrong with the camera they had there already? Whatever dude.
Suicide vs. DAngelo Dinero
Falls count anywhere and theyre already in the back when this starts. Pope drops an elbow off some anvil cases but hurts himself in the process. This is being written the day after Randy Savage died so that hurt a bit to see. Suicide grabs a small package for two as we more or less have a hardcore match here. They fought on Impact apparently and this is the rematch.
Pope gets backdropped into a small dumpster for two. Lets get a golf cart to run over Suicide with now. So its an attempted homicide on Suicide? Pope climbs a small fence and Suicide pulls his shorts down. Thankfully he has regular tights on under it. Naturally Suicide pulls those down too and yeah there it is. For some reason Pope cant pull them up for awhile so theres your visual for the match.
In the arena now and Pope rings the bell on Suicides head and talks about Jingle Bells for no apparent reason. Hey lets go to the ring for a change of pace. More brawling follows and its table time. Suicide takes a belly to back suplex on the ramp for two. Neither guy can get thrown off the ramp through a table so Suicide covers on the stage for two. He takes over and hammers away on the stage for another few minutes with nothing of note happening. Pope gets put on a table but the double leg drop through it misses and were done.
Rating: C-. Its just a hardcore match. I tend to say that a lot when I review these but a lot of the time theres nothing to distinguish these from any others that occur. This probably ran too long as its about 12 minutes, especially given how long there was between a lot of the bigger moves. Not a very good match but hardcore matches are all about on the same level anyway so well say this was fine, if not a bit generic. Also did anyone expect Pope to lose when he used the sponsors product?
We recap ODB vs. Cody Deaner. Oh dear its this angle again. There was a mixed tag at Hard Justice where ODB and Deaner teamed up and if their team won, she got the title. Deaner got the pin so he said he should be Womens Knockout Champion. Foley vacated the title and made man vs. woman for the Womens Title. Just get it over with already.
Knockout Title: Cody Deaner vs. ODB
Oh and these two used to date. That needs to be thrown in for no apparent reason. Naturally its a comedy match with ODB dominating. Low blow doesnt work on ODB of course because she doesnt have balls. Out to the floor and she dives on Deaner to take him down. Deaner isnt allowed to punch her apparently which wasnt announced but the referee says so and thats law I guess.
Deaner slams her as this turns into ever other man vs. woman match with the guy doing very basic stuff to her and its supposed to be all devastating and no one cares. Deaner gets a shot from the flask so ODB grabs him by the balls as he comes off the middle rope. Thesz Press gets two for ODB and I remember watching this match, thinking if not begging that they wouldnt let Deaner have the belt. Deaner and the referee argue into a rollup for two by ODB. Theres a comedy spot on a sunset flip and were finally done after a TKO to give ODB the title.
Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but the joke sucked and I dont know how many people cared about ODB at the end of the day. At least she has the title and breasts which is the point of the title. Anyway pretty weak match here but it was at least somewhat competitive which is all you can ask for at times.
ODB says she had to win. Lauren is so pretty.
Angle isnt worried because hes smarter than Morgan. Theres a mention of fairy tales and AJ and Sting will lose apparently.
Legends Title: Abyss vs. Kevin Nash
This is part 84745 of Stevie Richards vs. Abyss. Richards was his anti-hardcore therapist and then turned on him, putting out a $50,000 bounty on him. Nash had an interesting character going here, saying that he was in it all for the money and being a champion allowed him to charge more at autograph signings. Thats a nice twist on things actually. Foley is on commentary here.
Abyss is in his weird clap a lot and be all socially weird stage. Nash mocks the clapping which is kind of funny. Nash hammers him down to start and takes him to the corner, pounding away as fast as he can, meaning its a slow paced match. Tazz and Foley crack some jokes about Vince yelling in announcers ears. They both try chokeslams but Nash goes with a right hand instead.
Out to the floor with Nash missing a chair shot, instead hitting the post. Now what did that post ever do to him before? Nash is rammed into various metal objects and we head back into the ring. Dr. Stevie is sitting on the stage. More hammering away commences with neither guy being able to take over. We talk about Jeep Swenson for no apparent reason as Abyss gets a side slam for two.
Stevie comes towards the ring and Daffney pops in with a taser. Black Hole Slam takes her down as I actually see some of the zombie hot they talk about with her at times. In all of the commotion Nash gets a chair shot to Abyss head for two. Jackknife doesnt work and Abyss gets most of a chokeslam for two. Abyss asks Foley for the barbed wire bat but as Foley tries to give it to him, Nash tases Abyss in the balls to end this.
Rating: C-. Standard battle of the big men here and surprisingly enough Nash didnt ruin it. Nash really does get a bad rap at times but when hes in the midcard and not on top of the company and making himself the focal point of the show hes rather watchable. Abyss would get even worse as time went by, making his push all the more head scratching. Anyway, pretty ok match here but nothing great at all.
Booker and Steiner, the tag champions, dont like the British Invasion, their partners in the tag team Lethal Lockdown. Steiner says he doesnt like British people, or Canadians. Or any foreigners for that matter. Either speak our language or get out!
We recap Lethal Lockdown. Theres absolutely no reason why this is a tandem tag team match for no titles or anything like that but it is anyway.
Booker T/Scott Steiner/British Invasion vs. Beer Money/Team 3D
Its Wargames: start with a person per team for five minutes then another from one team comes in for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes then its tied for two minutes and so on until were at 4 each. Then the roof comes down with weapons and its first fall wins. The heels, Steiner/Booker/Brits, have the advantage. The Mafia members are TNA Tag Champions and the Brits are IWGP Tag Champions because TNA thinks most Americans care about those titles. Douglas Williams vs. James Storm to start us off.
Williams leaves the cage to try to jump Storm which doesnt work at all. Into the cage now as the fans are behind Storm sort of but other than that theyre rather quiet. Storm gets a reverse tornado DDT but he cant cover since not everyone is in. This is more or less just a slow paced one on one match here with no one really taking over. Granted that might be because theres no need to have this be in Lethal Lockdown.
Eye of the Storm (spinning release Razors Edge) sets up some choking but Williams kicks him low to reverse the momentum again. We have a minute left and Williams team will get the next man in. In second is Brutus Magnus so its 2-1 for two minutes. Storm wisely dropkicks the door onto his face before he can get in but Williams sends Storm into the ropes, allowing Magnus to slam the door onto Storms back to take over.
The Brits like to shake hands a lot. A lot of time is wasted here as were almost at two minutes and Storm is busted open. Its been two minutes and theres no clock. Ah theres the countdown but it was more like 2:15. In next is Robert Roode to make it a tag team cage match which again shows THERE WAS NO POINT TO THIS BEING LETHAL LOCKDOWN. Some nice double teaming by Beer Money gives them the advantage as the crowd only kind of seems to care.
The annoying Impact Zone fans count down the clock from like 30 seconds because they need to be a part of the show right? Anyway in next is Steiner which kind of surprises me. Steiner busts out come clotheslines and suplexes so Tenay makes a small wisecrack about that being all he does. Taz takes exception to being criticized for only using suplexes in a slightly funny moment. Frankensteiner (or what is now called that) kills Storm and the beating is on.
The clock is on as one of the problems with this match comes into focus: it takes about 15 seconds for someone to come from the back and get into the cage. That doesnt sound like a long time but when you only have two minutes before the next intro and the countdown clock comes on at 15 seconds to go, you have about 1:30 to do your thing with the focus on you. However, about 45 seconds of that is just you hitting random moves on everyone at a fast pace, leaving you with about 45 seconds to use teamwork. Its very fast paced and something that wasnt as much of an issue in WarGames with everyone on the floor.
Anyway D-Von and company take over as we wait on Booker and Bubba to get here to even the numbers out. Also, one ring with eight guys in it is WAY too crowded. I think one year there were only six people in this match and it worked far better. Heres Booker as not a lot happened in D-Vons time. Booker walks even slower, showing off the tag titles. He took about 40 seconds to get there and somehow none of the faces were standing there waiting on him. How can you not pick up on that?
Steiner hits the floor and chokes Roode with the cage door as were waiting on Bubba with about 20 seconds to go. The clock is extended a bit more this time as Booker got about 2:15 in his period if you can call it that. Ray comes down but Rob Terry jumps him in the aisle and then nails him with a chair. Terry then yells at the guy that controls the roof of the cage to come down and here come the weapons.
Ok so now its first fall by either pin or submission. Well at least there are only seven people in the ring which helps a tiny bit. On the floor Ray avoids another chair shot and takes Terry out with a shot to the head. Hes in now with the chair, drilling all heels with some WEAK chair shots and here come the good guys. A trashcan gets put on someones balls and Bubba drills it with a crutch, prompting Tazz to yell YAMBAG YAHTZEE!!!
Brutus and Beer Money go to the top of the cage and its a double team suplex to Magnus. Im terrified of heights so Id be scared to death up there. BEER MONEY is shouted up there and its 3D to Steiner from .well from 3D. Does that mean they can charge more for not much of a difference in the visual aspect of it? Book End takes down Bubba but its time for heel miscommunication. Blockbuster by Roode to Booker and DWI ends Williams for the pin.
Rating: B. Lethal Lockdown is a match that automatically gets a higher grade to start and this is right about in the middle for one. The biggest problem is obvious: there is zero reason this needed to be Lethal Lockdown at all. This should have been a pair of tags or maybe a Survivor Series style match. Not much of note but again Lethal Lockdown on its own is inherently cool so it gets a good grade.
Rhyno says Lashley (the greatest MMA fighter in the world according to Lauren which made everyone in the IWC roll their eyes at once) isnt in MMA tonight because this is wrestling. Oh and hes a War Machine.
Tazz is curious about why Rhyno would give up his game plan by saying hell win with a Gore. WHEN DOES HE EVER USE ANYTHING ELSE?????
They run through the card so far, I guess for people that decided to pay $40 for the last 50 minutes of the show.
Rhyno vs. Bobby Lashley
No real feud here as they just threw Rhyno out there as his first opponent, which is far better than like Kiyoshi or some no name guy. And Lashley gets almost no reaction. I mean there is NOTHING. You can look at the fans and theyre just sitting there. THIS IS THE IMPACT ZONE AND HES GETTING NO REACTION. Let that sink in a bit. Also, who thought it was a good idea to put the feature match on after a major gimmick match?
Out to the floor early as this is more or less a power brawl. Theyre treating this like Lashleys first wrestling match ever because TNA is kind of stupid at times. Spinebuster gets two back in the ring for Rhyno. He works on the back as its so cute that he thinks he has a chance to win here. Taz talks about Rhynos mindset of me against the world because TNA wants Lashley to win for the sake of making him a star, which makes sense.
Lashley gets an elbow up to break Rhynos momentum and a hip toss of all things. The crowd flat out does not care here and its painfully obvious. Rhyno is bleeding from next to the eye and there goes the referee due to a spear from Lashley. Gore gets two as theres another referee here. Another Gore attempt is countered by .a punch, which ends this. I guess its his MMA training that allows him to do that? Terrible, terrible ending.
Rating: D. Weak match here as no one bought Rhyno as having a chance but more importantly no one, and I mean NO ONE was interested in Lashley. Its no real shock that he was gone in less than six months as the interest in the whole MMA thing just wasnt there because, and I know this is a shock to wrestling writers: WRESTLING FANS WANT TO SEE WRESTLING, NOT MIXED MARTIAL ARTS. Anyway, weak match and indicative of Lashleys time in TNA.
AJ and Sting are in the back and AJ is glad he didnt retire. The idea here was that AJ had wanted to retire because of his recent losses and Sting told him not to and thats about it.
We recap the four guys in the main event. AJ and Sting I explained, Morgan wants to get his hands on Angle for being all evil to him as Morgan wants to be in the Mafia. Angle is champion and there were a lot of qualifying matches for the rest of the guys which dont matter.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles
We get the walking to the ring shots for all four guys and each guy gets a quick video about them also. AJ is listed as a three time world champion, meaning NWA title reigns count, which makes me wonder why Abyss is NEVER listed as a former world champion. These intros are taking FOREVER. There are a bunch of No Surrender posters in the hall coming out of Angles room as I guess they wanted to make sure their employees bought the show?
Tenay talks about bringing the title back to the family of the Mafia. You know, where it already is. We even do big match intros because a regular entrance, a video on each guy and watching them come to the ring isnt enough I guess. And were STILL not done because as Angle is getting ready to be introduced, heres Hernandez saying he didnt come here just to wrestle for five minutes. More like 50 seconds but whatever. Hes jumping into this match instead of, you know, WAITING FOR IT TO BE OVER, but no one ever accused him of being smart.
TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles vs. Hernandez
The Lashley match ended nearly 17 minutes ago and the bell hasnt rung yet for this one. Hernandez destroys Angle while everyone else watches which is a nice touch. He literally holds Angle up for 30 seconds in a vertical suplex and Angle is mostly dead. THERES THE BELL, 19 minutes after the previous match ended. Angle and Hernandez go to the floor so its more or less a triple threat in the ring.
Morgan is dominating in the ring as Hernandez sets for a Border Toss on the stage. Heres Eric Young who hits Hernandez with a pipe and piledrives him on the stage. Thats all well be seeing out of Hernandez here, meaning they wasted the last year for him with the briefcase and his time in the main event here ran about three minutes. AJ takes Sting down with a dropkick as Hernandez is helped to the back.
Angle is back at ringside now so AJ dives on him and Morgan. Morgan and Angle seem to team up as apparently Angle took the bullet for him on that dive. A tombstone doesnt work for AJ as Angle rolls into the ankle lock. Morgan and Sting go inside now and there are the elbows in the corner. With AJ down its Angle/Morgan double teaming Sting as the match is dragging a bit already.
AJ pops up out of nowhere with the springboard clothesline on Angle. Fallaway slam to AJ by Morgan but Sting is back up now. Things are speeding back up a bit now as AJ pounds away on Matt, only to walk into a belly to belly by Angle. Morgan and Angle get into a contest of who can beat up AJ worse for awhile as Sting is stuck on the floor. Angle charges into the post so Morgan takes AJ down with a dropkick.
Pele puts Morgan down but Angle suplexes Styles. Did Sting die or something? Hes been gone for like five minutes now. Ah there he is with a missile dropkick to Angle but he might have hurt his shoulder. AJ pops back into it and hits a Styles Clash to Angle for two as Morgan saves. Hellevator gets the same on AJ. Death Drop to Morgan for two. Scorpion to Angle is countered into the ankle lock but a Carbon Footprint takes down Angle. Morgan goes to the floor and Sting stares at AJ. Sting dives on Morgan as AJ hits a springboard 450 to Angle for the title.
Rating: C-. I wasnt feeling it here for the most part as they kept going back and forth two at a time which got rather boring after awhile. The ending was fine I guess as it set up Sting vs. AJ at BFG in a respect match, but the rest was pretty dull. The Hernandez aspect was such a waste but no one ever accused TNA of thinking these things through did they?
Daniels comes out and a bunch of fans get into the ring for the big celebration. The wide shot showing that its only about 60% full is a weak touch but theyre trying at least.
Overall Rating: D-. Bad show overall as most of the stuff wasnt very good or had no business being on PPV. The main event is weak and Lashleys featured match was just bad. Lethal Lockdown is one of the weakest theyve ever had and even with seventeen minutes spent getting ready for the main event they had to add in a twelve minute bonus match. Not impressed here at all and it wasnt much to see. I was bored when I watched it live and I was bored here. Bad show all around.