My Roomate is An Asshole

[Harthan]

He is making a series of passive aggressive noises and motions in his bed to make me feel bad about being awake and high at 5 AM.

To which I say...bugger off.

EDIT:

I thought the British online would appreciate my colloquialism.

I spelled colloquialism without spellcheck.

That never happens.

 

[Nate DaMac]

Ha. My wife is doing the same thing. Only instead of being high, I'm sitting right next to her *********ing with headphones on.

 

[Harthan]

Ha. My wife is doing the same thing. Only instead of being high, I'm sitting right next to her *********ing with headphones on.

Have I ever told you that I like you?

You've got style.

EDIT:

And class. That's the most important part.

 

[JWGunslinger]

Hehe I'm drunk and posting on WZ at 2:07 in the AM and pissing off my fiance. Apparently I have an addiction, but it's not to what you would think.

 

[Theo Mays]

Hehe I'm drunk and posting on WZ at 2:07 in the AM and pissing off my fiance. Apparently I have an addiction, but it's not to what you would think.

Drunk posting, ah the good ole days. Drunk Theo needs one more run on the forums before finally bowing out. However the chances of that seem very unlikely.

 

[Harthan]

I wish instead of being a douche from Douchetown, Ohio, my roomate was a finacee/wife into whom I could insert my penis.

Repeatedly.

 

[Theo Mays]

I wish instead of being a douche from Douchetown, Ohio, my roomate was a finacee/wife into whom I could insert my penis.

Repeatedly.

Isn't that what everyone's wish?

 

[Harthan]

Isn't that what everyone's wish?

Some dudes prefer their penises in other dudes.

Also, some people do not have penises.

 

[JWGunslinger]

I wish instead of being a douche from Douchetown, Ohio, my roomate was a finacee/wife into whom I could insert my penis.

Repeatedly.

Another addiction I have, geez I have enough addictions to go on Maury.

You could always find a girl to do that to and fuck her at 5 in the morning to really screw with your roomie.

 

[Theo Mays]

Some dudes prefer their penises in other dudes.

Also, some people do not have penises.

Touche

 

[Harthan]

Another addiction I have, geez I have enough addictions to go on Maury.

You could always find a girl to do that to and fuck her at 5 in the morning to really screw with your roomie.

I do not find it very easy to have sexytimes with the ladies.

I do not do well with them.

 

[Theo Mays]

I do not find it very easy to have sexytimes with the ladies.

I do not do well with them.

I feel you there brother. I landed my first date of my life a few months ago scheduled to happen in the next few weeks (whenever she gets back from France). Other than that my record with women is well below the Mendoza line.

 

[JWGunslinger]

You need to find a girl who cares about your interests so much that she creates a WZ account, that is true love and I am lucky enough to have that, very fucking lucky because before her I had horrible luck with the ladies.

 

[JWGunslinger]

I might add that I didn't go on a date til senior year of HS and three of the gals I went out with that year just dropped me out of the blue....bitches.

 

[Harthan]

I feel you there brother. I landed my first date of my life a few months ago scheduled to happen in the next few weeks (whenever she gets back from France). Other than that my record with women is well below the Mendoza line.

I have a kind of date Saturday. I think she thinks I'm gay, though, which makes things awkward.

 

[JWGunslinger]

If you have sex with her opinion may change. If that doesn't convince her then I don't know what to tell ya.

 

[Harthan]

If you have sex with her opinion may change. If that doesn't convince her then I don't know what to tell ya.

I just worry that I'm going to try, and she'll be all, "Whoa now, I was pretty confident you did not swing this way, I am not comfortable with imminent juxtaposition of penis and vagina that's about to go down" and then you know, everything will be ruined forever.

 

[klunderbunker]

Do what I did: find a girl on here. Works so much better that way.

Until she hijacks your laptop while you're in the other room and makes herself admin.

 

[JWGunslinger]

That doesn't sound good, then again there are two thing you could do here.

1) Continue to let her think that way and then enjoy the humor in that situation or...

2) Be as macho as possible without coming off as a douche and end the night making her night, wham bam thank you maam.

 

[JWGunslinger]

Do what I did: find a girl on here. Works so much better that way.

Until she hijacks your laptop while you're in the other room and makes herself admin.

I found a girl and then she made an account, does that count?

 

[Theo Mays]

I have a kind of date Saturday. I think she thinks I'm gay, though, which makes things awkward.

Yikes. Good luck with that one homie. A stick situation indeed. If things go well just ask her out again. That should let her know that your intentions and that you aren't gay. Just try and not think too much about it, that will make matters worse. Definitely easier said than done.

 

[Harthan]

Do what I did: find a girl on here. Works so much better that way.

Until she hijacks your laptop while you're in the other room and makes herself admin.

My only option is Mustang Sally, and we've never even spoken. I might have repped her, because she's great, but I don't think many girls will have sex with you for rep.

That doesn't sound good, then again there are two thing you could do here.

1) Continue to let her think that way and then enjoy the humor in that situation or...

2) Be as macho as possible without coming off as a douche and end the night making her night, wham bam thank you maam.

I like option 2, now if only I was mystically suave enough to pull it off...

 

[klunderbunker]

I found a girl and then she made an account, does that count?

Mine was a G-Mod and officially my boss for awhile. It works better that way.

 

[JWGunslinger]

My only option is Mustang Sally, and we've never even spoken. I might have repped her, because she's great, but I don't think many girls will have sex with you for rep.

If you can get past the penis I do believe Rohan would.

 

[Harthan]

If you can get past the penis I do believe Rohan would.

Having sex with a dude from the interwebs would be pretty counter intuitive to my goal of proving I'm not gay.

But maybe give me his phone number, just in case.