This just in from Dave Meltzer, After 24 years of life on this planet and on television screens, Monday Night RAW suddenly passed away during his sleep.
He was born on January 1993 by Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan during an experiment gone terribly wrong, Heenan told McMahon to throw it away; but McMahon decided to keep it, thinking it would be worth something.
Mr. RAW had been through a lot during his life, from his dorky 'New Generation' phase, to the edgy, in your face 'Attitude Era' style, then he took the unpredictable route of 'Ruthless Aggression' until finally he got off the drugs and decided to dedicate the rest of his life for entertaining kids.
In his final years, Mr. RAW had become more vocal of the state of wrestling but never really had it in him to do anything about it. Some people say that the beginning of the end for him was when he switched to three hours.
"It's too much for him." His little brother SmackDown said to us approximately two years ago. "He keeps trying to book a show made for 180 minutes and it looks like something that could be over in like 30 minutes" He then proceeded to call him a dumbass and suggested people watch SmackDown instead.
This tragic bit of news comes just one day before WWE's biggest PPV event of the year, WrestleMania. Vince McMahon has been reported to be found sobbing in his office as eating bowls of nails and melted marshmallows. When asked to comment, Paul Levesque; otherwise known as Triple H threatened to call security. Even though our sources are extremely reputable and not anywhere near click-bait, unlike those alt-right propaganda sites.
Fellow wrestling fans are in shock over these events and are concerned over the future of WWE.
"I know I kept said that RAW is Dead, but I didn't think it would ever actually die!" Famed wrestling smirk Dalyxman was quoted saying.
It is rumored that Vince McMahon is set to make an announcement that will consist of him committing suicide on live TV so that he can be with Mr. RAW forever, thus handing the company over to Triple H so he can rein for all of eternity.
We'd like to give our condolences to everyone who was friends, took care of or supported Mr. RAW; but considering how many people watch it, that would take forever.
P.S: If you haven't guessed yet, look at your calanders.
He was born on January 1993 by Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan during an experiment gone terribly wrong, Heenan told McMahon to throw it away; but McMahon decided to keep it, thinking it would be worth something.
Mr. RAW had been through a lot during his life, from his dorky 'New Generation' phase, to the edgy, in your face 'Attitude Era' style, then he took the unpredictable route of 'Ruthless Aggression' until finally he got off the drugs and decided to dedicate the rest of his life for entertaining kids.
In his final years, Mr. RAW had become more vocal of the state of wrestling but never really had it in him to do anything about it. Some people say that the beginning of the end for him was when he switched to three hours.
"It's too much for him." His little brother SmackDown said to us approximately two years ago. "He keeps trying to book a show made for 180 minutes and it looks like something that could be over in like 30 minutes" He then proceeded to call him a dumbass and suggested people watch SmackDown instead.
This tragic bit of news comes just one day before WWE's biggest PPV event of the year, WrestleMania. Vince McMahon has been reported to be found sobbing in his office as eating bowls of nails and melted marshmallows. When asked to comment, Paul Levesque; otherwise known as Triple H threatened to call security. Even though our sources are extremely reputable and not anywhere near click-bait, unlike those alt-right propaganda sites.
Fellow wrestling fans are in shock over these events and are concerned over the future of WWE.
"I know I kept said that RAW is Dead, but I didn't think it would ever actually die!" Famed wrestling smirk Dalyxman was quoted saying.
It is rumored that Vince McMahon is set to make an announcement that will consist of him committing suicide on live TV so that he can be with Mr. RAW forever, thus handing the company over to Triple H so he can rein for all of eternity.
We'd like to give our condolences to everyone who was friends, took care of or supported Mr. RAW; but considering how many people watch it, that would take forever.
P.S: If you haven't guessed yet, look at your calanders.
