the very injured Eric Derf?
*
Steamboat Ricky is shown on his ship out in the middle of the ocean. He is out on the main deck, sitting at his desk (which
is, in fact, a Flaming Spanish Announce Table) with his feet lounging up on it (thus forcing him to wear fire resistant boots), sipping an ice cold non-alcoholic grog.*
Yarrrr...tis a great day, Polly mate! The sun be out...the desk be hot...and your cap'n finally gained vengeance
THUNDER CRASH
YARRR!! That be odd! The sun is out...but there be thunder? Anyway...your cap'n finally gained vengeance
THUNDER CRASH
*Ricky reaches under his blazing desk and pulls out his thinking cap, puts it on momentarily, then places it back underneath.*
Yarrrr...vengeance.
THUNDER CRASH
Yarrrr...I beat Disasterpiece! Life be good, Polly! By joe...I need to change desks...hold on a second Polly...
*Realizing that his current desk has turned to complete ash, Ricky goes into the storage room, grabs a Spanish Announce Table, brings it out to the deck, sets it up, and sets it on fire.*
Yarrrrr...that be better!
Brrrrack! Why light it on fire? Would save on money...errrrr treasure! Brrrrack!
(With a disappointed glare) Polly, I be pretendin ye didn't just say that.
*All of a sudden a speed boat zips past the ship, and a newspaper lands on deck.*
Yarrr! The paperboy!
*Ricky grabs the paper, goes back over to his flaming desk, kicks his feet up, and begins reading
The Tortuga Tribune. Ricky immediately turns to the sports section, passing over the scores from dueling, swordfighting, and drunken pirate darts. He sees a box that says "WZCW Meltdown", and he notices that it is the card for the upcoming show. He sees that he is to fight Eric Derf who is listed as "very injured."*
YARRRR! Polly! I have never been in a squabble with anybody listed as "very injured!" Yarrr! I be doomed!
*All of a sudden, a mystical huge sombrero is seen, and we are clearly graced by the presence of
El Guerrero...Ricky's undead mentor.*
Heyyy homes! Ricardo...way to kick la mierda out of la fantasma, essa!
Yarrr! El Guerrero...now I am in trouble! Disasterpiece might have been a tough challenge...but at least he was healthy! Now I have to fight Derf...he be listed as "very injured." Yarrrr...I've never squared up with an injured mate before...not even back when little Ricky was a cabin boy!
Ricardo, Ricardo, Ricardo...patience. El Guerrero is here to help. Now...what I am to tell you...you must do if you want to defeat a "very injured" Derf...
*scene fades out*
(To be continued)
