Screen shot of a multi coloured no signal screen for 3 seconds before camera turns on to reveal a flashy dressed man. His hair is slicked back and he's wearing a very expensive pair of shades. His dark purplish vest is adorned with silver lightning bolts. A smile flashes on his face as he pulls a mic up to his face
We will return shortly with your poorly scheduled broadcasting. Now we bring you the real show with a message for you the viewers. This Thursday, five men, one match, one contract. The fate of the show, the fate of WZCW... the fate of the viewers watching at home rests in the hands of one man. One man willing to be the star, one man willing to do whatever it takes to win, one man who was made to be here. One man... Camera boy, come, come over here for a sec.
The cameraman walks out from behind the camera
Now then, do you know who that person is?
Cameraman: Well...
David Cougar: Of course you know who that man is, that man is the made for TV superstar that you see before you, that man is me, Showtime David Cougar. Now I know what a lot of people are saying, "Showtime, you haven't even debuted yet on WZCW and your out here running your mouth like you're the biggest thing since colour TV." Well, you know what I tell those people Mr. cameraman?
Cameraman: Uhh...
David Cougar: That's right, I tell them, your damn right I'm bigger than colour TV, bigger than HD, bigger than the movie theaters, bigger than the drive-in movie theaters, hell, I'm even bigger than the Obama mania that's been sweeping the US. What people don't understand is I was made to be here. You see, there are two kinds of people out there, those who were born to sit and watch, and those who were born to be the stars and I am one of those guys Monsieur cameraa man. I don't deny my god-given talents, I don't deny that I was put on here to entertain the viewers, the people sitting at home wishing, dreaming that they could be just like me. You're one of those people too, aren't you?
Cameraman: Actually...
David Cougar: Of course you wish you could be like me, Senior camera boy, everyone does... You know what, step aside. You're talking way too much and you're stealing all my air-time so I'll wrap this thing up by myself. Go on, stand over there. Over there. Thank you.
Turns and faces the camera
Anoki, Ace, Trademark, Shakur, you guys think you have a chance of walking out of Meltdown with that contract, but you're wrong. This company, these viewers, this show, has room for only one charismatic TV superstar, room for only one ratings grabbing, high flying, scene making, show stealing, best thing to happen since the birth of television, heck, I might even be bigger than that damn box because it's me that you all watch, me that you program your TV's to see, me that draws in all the ratings. When I walk down the ramp at Meltdown, and stare into the eyes of my four competitors, they will know that they are just the supporting cast and that I am the star. Look it up in your TV guides, Thursday night. The day the show debuts, the day you are all saved from the boring crap you've been watching on your TV's, the day you will all witness history made in WZCW. Ladies and gentleman, I am the Show, and that's all you need to know.
David removes his shades and grabs a white piece of paper and hands it to the cameraman
We will now return you to your poorly scheduled broadcasting,
Begins to walk to the right
but first, a word from a real interviewer.
Passes mic into the hands of Becky as he passes by her and keeps walking
Finish it up babe, read what's on the paper.
Becky squints and reads the paper the camera man is holding
Becky: ..... Showtime David Cougar. Confident he'll score with Becky after his win at Meltdown.