The sounds of a computer keyboard clatter away as we open on-screen. The letters appear as they are typed; W-Z-C-W-.-C-O-M. With a click of a button we zoom away, passing millions of other options until, after what is a mere moment to us, we arrive at a results page. The curser hovers over the top option and most likely destination; the official homepage of WZCW.com. There is a click of the mouse and we prepare to enter the site. It starts to load, images of all the favourites begin to appear; David Cougar, Drake Callahan, Triple X, Barbosa, Matt Tastic...and then, the loading stops and a flash of static hits the screen. The curser recoils out of surprise. The static stops, but the screen is black. Then, as it appears the computer has crashed, coloured bars appear along with a high pitched frequency. Then, they too disappear. There is a moment of doubt once more when suddenly a video begins to play. It opens with soft music and a graphic emerging onto screen in a smoke like fashion. A familiar voice reads out the words:
Tyger, Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
- William Blake
Then, the darkness fades, but the smoke remains. It begins to clear and we recognise a chair of some sorts with a creature sat in it. As the image becomes clearer, we can see that it is a battered and broken throne of some sorts. It was clearly once grand and majestic, but the colours of red, gold and silver are all dimmed now, the wood snapped and sagging. The image again begins to gain clarity. Now we recognise the familiar source of the voice; The Elite Steven Holmes. He sits on the throne; a crown sloped on his head, not sitting proudly on top. His head is dipped, not facing the audience. He has a grand robe thrown over his usual marvellous suit and the World Heavyweight Championship is resting on his lap, quite comfortably. He is slightly hunched as the smoke lingers in the air. He raises his head up, the crown remaining sloped and stares into the camera, directly addressing the viewer.
Holmes: Your feeble little mind is likely wondering just what has happened to WZCW.com. Well the truth of the matter is it no longer exists in its intended form. Dont worry, this is not a permanent amendment, this videos life expectancy is a meagre three days. It will expire and you can all resume your dandy little lives as the previous so-called Gods had intended. I, as your new omnipotent overlord merely wished to address you, my people. Despite your idiotic minds, your unwashed faces and your petty squabbles with the way I rule, you are still my people, and it is my aim before I resign my post in this world and step forth into the next to educate and establish you all to a higher level of class, decency and hygiene.
The venom is already pouring from Holmes mouth, his trademark sneer apparent for all to see.
Holmes: As such I must teach you about the order of things and that is why I must initially begin this address to talk about David Cougar and his assault on me.
Holmes pauses. He rubs his chin, a hint of stubble is heard as he rubs and a static like noise is heard. Then he flashes his pearly whites for all to see. It is a truly disturbing sight as the beast wears the crown.
Holmes: What David Cougar did was an act of treason. Under such acts, the penalty is traditionally execution. However, in light of recent events, a far more suitable punishment for Cougar is to deny him any joy whatsoever. With Celeste facing Cougar, he will feel the wrath of the sword, but with I now in possession of what he believes is rightfully his and with no way into the Kingdom Come main events, Cougar is deprived of what his warped soul sees as justice. Therefore, he will squirm and wriggle and suffer like the maggot he is as he watches me enter the main event of Kingdom Come and storm Callahans land and destroy it, burning it to the ground to start anew. The sword will avenge the shield and it will leave just enough energy is Cougars body to watch these events unfold, his eyes welling with tears as he can only wonder what if? But thats the problem, isnt it? He never was.
What Im trying to communicate to you is that you were presented with a cavalcade of pathetic false idols, strewn across your multi-media platforms. They walked around as if the true heir to the throne and were above every single one of you watching this. But in actuality, they were no better than you, the peasants. They were worse in fact, lying, cheating, and deceiving. They pretended that they were brave, noble and above all else, good. They arent. They are cheats, liars, manipulators and out-right bastards. These imposters are numerous and many, but come the 90th edition of the show we call Meltdown I will face one of the grander false prophets. I face the man of multiple minds and many memories. I collide with a man known as Barbosa. Or, thanks to my new beaus teaching of the language: Барбосa.
Pausing for a moment, Holmes chuckles lightly, knowing what faces him at Meltdown. He is under no assumptions that the task he faces is grand and mighty, but he does not balk at such opportunity, instead he relishes it and will fight.
Holmes: What Barbosa presents is a prime example of a creature whose myth is greater than fact. He is a beast that has defeated Ty Burna in the pits of hell. He is a being who captured from Big Dave. He is a creature who lurks in a big, bad pit. These might all be true, but the myth surrounding Barbosa has increased his ferocity ten-fold. He appears far more monstrous than in actuality he is. He isnt a monster, he isnt as creature of darkness and he isnt a giant and even if he were, I am his David. Fee-fi-fo-fum, I will smell blood, but not of an Englishmen. Nay, instead it will be Barbosas, and he will be slain in the ring. Whether it be by dropping him on his skull and obliterating any mental faculties he has remaining, or depriving him of oxygen and choking him until the blood vessels snap and spew forth, I will have my victory and he will have his defeat.
However, for all his faults and all the myth surrounding Barbosa, he is rife with potential. Once he has submitted to me, he will be presented with an opportunity. His beast like abilities would be an asset in the war against Callahan and I would gladly offer him the spot of the first line of defence before the king. Should he accept such a position, then he will be in a prime position to join the forces. Should he refuse, I will raise the weapon I love so dearly, and I will use it to behead the monster, and unlike the hydra of Greek myth, there will be no re-growing of heads.
Making a slit-throat signal, Holmes smirks. He knows that with the odds in his favour, his network of allies will prove extremely beneficial in such circumstances.
Holmes: This of course brings me to Drake Callahan. What happened last week Drake was a sample of the destruction and devastation that awaits you at Kingdom Come. You will step forward to face me and I will cast you down, out and into the deepest abyss man has ever known. However, I want the road to that abyss to be as painful and psychologically disturbing for you as possible and while last week I taunted you in defeat, this week I am decreeing that it is open season on Drake Callahan. Anyone who brings misery and pain to his life will be rewarded for such acts and will be in my good books for the foreseeable future. This will benefit you greatly of course. It will please your king. Good luck Drake.
A howl of a laugh bursts from Holmess mouth as he relishes the concept of Drake struggling and squiring at the hands of others outside his immediate empire, let alone at his own hands.
Holmes: With my queen, the sword of justice, and my brethren, the shield from injustice I will ride to Castle Callahan and much as we did last time, we shall gloat over your fallen corpse. Erik will smugly spite you and Celeste will enjoy the warm embrace of her king before we retire for an evening of carnal pleasures in your own bed, sodomising and sullying your kingdom. The fires are coming to purify you. The tyger I spoke of before is coming and she will shine bright. My immortal hand will frame her and she will rise to strike fear into your hearts. It has begun; thy fearful symmetry...
As Holmes face contorts to enhance shadows and the smoke begins to increase with volume once more, the monstrous king begins to chuckle, the sound reverberating throughout the throne-room. It begins to break into a full fit of cackling before the feed for the video cuts out and blares into static once again.
