Viola Moonlight
I'm Literally Just Here for WZCW
Deadline: Wednesday, 22nd of August (11:59pm Central Time)
MD77: Titus/Angel/Saboteur/Saxton vs. The New Church/Strikeforce
- Thread starter Viola Moonlight
- Start date
- Status
Beastmode 24
BEAST MODE, MOTHERFUCKERS
Chapter 1:I have seen the light.
The camera cuts on to reveal a room lit only by a light bulb swinging in the middle of the room; swinging back and forth, it casts a shadow on some of the room, while brilliantly encasing the other parts of the room in brilliant light. In the middle of the room sits Derek Jacobs, head down. He looks at the camera and begins to speak.
Derek Jacobs: Redemption. Websters Dictionary defines this as deliverance or rescue. For me, redemption didnt come in the form of the Mayhem Championship, or in the form of more money. Redemption for me came in seeing the light. For so long, my eyes have been closed to the hard truth. WZCW is a battleground of good and evil. Now I know that Im no saint, but Ive never been wholly evil either. No, thats reserved for people like Titus, Saboteur and Saxon, and that so-called man of God the Angel. These men portray all that is wrong with WZCW; All that is evil within this great company. Titus is the definition of a legend here in WZCW, two time former world champion, Oscar winning actor, the list goes on and on. Saboteur and Saxon are the reigning tag team champions, winning the titles not too long ago, and Angel proclaims that hes sent from God himself and all he wants to do is be a good person. But all of my worthy opponents share the same fault. All they want to do is please you.
(Derek almost vomits the last word out)
There is no hope for these four fools, they have made their bed, and now their judgment has come. Even two of my allies this week have fallen down this road, but there is still hope for the two known as Strikeforce. Stormrage and Howard are a team thats confused right now and you people are the reason theyre confused. For so long all they wanted to do was please you, to make you people happy and what happened? You turned your backs on them for a bunch of fake superheroes. But fear not my brothers. For in your corner is the truth, in your corner is the light. In your corner is The New Church!
(Derek stands up, raising his hands in the air and smiling from ear to ear)
I have seen the light ladies and gentlemen, and his name is Mason Westhoff! This man helped me see the light, and hell help you too. We are the Army for The Almighty and we will bring judgment on WZCW!
Just outside the view of the camera stands Mason Westhoff, and he couldn't be happier with the fire in the eyes of his new "brother." After clapping for Jacobs, he begins to speak
Brother Jacobs, that was simply inspirational. The zeal you showed in your first message since joining me shows why The Almighty has chosen you to do his work. Now I know that you are happy about teaming with Howard and Stormrage this week, but remember dear brother, these men will continue to be obstacles in the path the The Almighty has placed us on unless we can find a way to destroy them. They are just like those who are standing across from us this week. They are weak and can be easily manipulated. It's up to us to figure out how. With The Almighty as our guiding light, we can bring His righteous judgment upon anyone who stands in our way.
Jacobs and Westhoff leave the room as the camera feed cuts.
Thriller Ant
Beep Bop Boop
Lesson of the Day:
Only perspective distinguishes an enemy from a friend.
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Only perspective distinguishes an enemy from a friend.
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The late summer sun pours through the giant stained glass windows of a mega-church. It is filled to capacity with well over 1,000 in their Sunday best filling the pews and standing along the back wall. At the front of the church, under the beautiful windows and exactly 2 steps higher than the main floor where the congregation is rests an ornate pulpit. A few paces beyond that is a large wooden seat, comparable to a throne, in which Brother Mason Westhoff sits in his beautiful, pure white vestments. To Brother Westhoffs right is Derek Jacobs, sitting in a much simpler chair and wearing a button down shirt and much nicer jeans than we are accustomed to seeing from him. The excitement from the crowd is palpable as Brother Westhoff rises and begins toward the pulpit.
Brothers and sisters in The Almighty, it is one of many glorious blessings from above to be with you today. Let us briefly thank The Almighty for all of the blessings in our lives.
The entire congregation, including Brother Westhoff and Derek, quickly fall to their knees and silently pray. After a few seconds, everyone returns to their seats and the sermon begins once more.
Now, brothers and sisters, as you all know, I will be joining a company called WrestleZone Championship Wrestling. The Almighty has blessed me with many physical gifts, which I had, and still do plan on using to show the light to salvation to the fans of the best wrestling company in the world. One thing I hadnt planned on happening, however, was bringing someone to The Almighty from the locker room, especially this quickly. Brothers and sisters, I want to introduce you to our newest brother, the product of the mystery of The Almighty, Brother Derek Jacobs.
Derek stands and raises his arm to acknowledge the crowd. As he stands, so does the entire congregation, and together they say:
As a son of The Almighty, you are a brother of mine. Welcome, Brother Jacobs.
The congregation returns to their seats, as does Brother Jacobs, clearly humbled by the welcome.
Brother Jacobs was a lost man. The only world had known was one of prostituting his physical gifts. The day I signed my WZCW contract, I met him in the locker room and became the latest person he offered himself to. He asked me why not after I declined, so we began talking. Once I started speaking about The Almighty, Brother Jacobs eyes lit up, just like many of the eyes in this room did their first time hearing the message delivered straight from The Almighty.
Since then, Brother Jacobs and I have studied and trained together many hours every day. That is why, despite knowing each other for only a brief time, we will join forces and work for The Almighty as a tag team called The New Church in WZCW. Together, we will attempt to spread the message from The Almighty and demolish anyone that stands in our way.
The congregation loudly cheers at the last sentence. Only Brother Westhoff motioning for them to quiet down can end the ovation.
The New Church makes its debut this week on Meltdown, the flagship show of WZCW, in an 8 man tag team match. Across the ring from us will be Angel, former WZCW World Champion Titus, and the WZCW Tag Team Champions, Action Saxton and Saboteur. Alternatively, the follower of a false higher power, the actor who was immersed in the sinful Hollywood lifestyle, and the goofballs that hold what Brother Jacobs and I want. Teaming with The New Church is Strikeforce, the former WZCW Tag Team Champions.
Normally, these two would be considered enemies of The New Church, as they also desire to be champions. We are in their way and they in ours. I would not be surprised if sometime in the near future, our two teams face each other for an opportunity at that goal. However, for one week, one glorious week, the four of us will be united in a common goal: Defeat the heathens and the champions. Now, for a closing prayer.
The congregation and Brother Jacobs fall to their knees, with eyes closed and heads down. Brother Westhoff spreads his arms and closes his eyes as he begins to pray aloud.
We pray unto The Almighty for healing and forgiveness. Healing unto our opponents for the injuries that they will suffer, and forgiveness unto Strikeforce, Brother Jacobs, and I for the injuries we will inflict unto them. We ask that The Almighty hear our prayer.
If The Almighty wishes it, then so it shall be.
Everyone returns to their feet. The camera zooms in on Brothers Westhoff and Jacobs smiling and shaking hands as the scene fades to black.
Signal Panic, Inc. presents
Action Saxton & Saboteur
in
"The Triumphant Return"
Action Saxton & Saboteur
in
"The Triumphant Return"
The waiting area at the Greater Wyoming Area Air Port and Bar is crowded. More crowded than its ever been, which isnt really saying all that much considering the previous record was set when there was a rumor that Ted Nugents plane had to make an emergency landing prompting a few dozen Wyomingites to come see if the rumor was true (it wasnt).
But today there are wrestling fans from all over the country packed into the Greater Wyoming Air Port and Bar with signs, pens and paper, and the shirts sporting images of their new WZCW Tag Team Champions. They are there because, unlike Ted Nugent, the new WZCW Tag Team champions will be landing at the Greater Wyoming Air Port and Bar. In fact, theyre about to get off the plane now.
The crowd explodes with cheers as Saxton and Saboteur make their way into the waiting area. The champs have their shiny new WZCW Tag Team Champion belts proudly displayed over their shoulders, and the champs look pleased to greet their fans despite the fact they just got off a transpacific flight. Saboteur and Saxton begin slapping hands with their fans and even stopping to sign autographs and take pictures. Then a woman jumps onto Saxton and starts kissing his face and a fan reaches over towards Saboteur and starts tugging on his spandex. Saxton and Saboteur push away from their adoring fans and break into a run as they try to escape the pandemonium that is sure to ensue. But as Saxton and Saboteur start to run, their fans start to chase after them! Saboteur and Saxton pick up the speed as the chaos chases after them, but Saboteur and Saxton manage to separate from the pack and jump into an elevator. Saboteur mashes the door close button, but the doors wont close and the fans are closing in. Saxton grabs the elevator doors and pulls them shut.
Saboteur: Sheesh, not much of a vacation, huh?
Saxton: You tellin me! First, WZCW sends us to Japan to do the commentary for their crazy All-Stars bologna, and then this? Being WZCW tag team champions is hard!
Saboteur: Well, at least we can get our luggage, go back to Saboteur tower
Saxton: Saxton Tower
Saboteur: And relax. No more of this business crap.
The elevator doors open and immediately outside theres a chauffer holding a sign that says Action Saxton and Saboteur. He already has their luggage.
Saxton: Awww hell, who the eff is this fool?
Saboteur: I think he wants to give us a ride home! Must be one of the perks of being a WZCW champion!
Saboteur and Saxton follow the chauffer to the small parking lot attached to the airport where a stretch SUV limo is waiting for them. The chauffer opens the door for the duo, and the two enter to find two people waiting for them: Garrett and some guy in a suit.
Saboteur: What the hell is this? Garrett, did you get kidnapped again?
Garrett: No, this is Jerry Fogel, and hes an agent.
Saxton: Say what?
Garrett: You guys are so busy with your wrestling, adventures, and general goofing around that I decided to hire you guys an agent to keep your business options open. You have a huge tower full of employees that youre paying to do nothing. You need to be making a profit!
Jerry: Allow me, Garrett. Saxton, Saboteur, like Garrett said my name is Jerry Fogel, but you can call me Jerry, Jerry Bear, or ATM because Im going to be making you CASH MONEY! Am I right guys?
Jerry smiles and laughs, but Saboteur and Saxton just stare at him, puzzled. Jerry is a handsome man with a full face and an expensive haircut, but this just makes Saboteur and Saxton uneasier with the man.
Jerry: Well, anyway, Im here to make you rich. Im talking stupid rich, maybe not Warren Buffett rich but damn close! Everyone from Arkansas to Zimbabwe will know the names Action Saxton and Saboteur. Im gonna get you fellas a line of toys, movie deals, and Im even talking about an Action Saxton and Saboteur theme park! Can you guys dig that or what?
Jerry puts his hand out for a high five but his left hanging as Saxton and Saboteur still look at the man with a completely puzzled look on their faces.
Jerry: Okay, well, I can see you gentlemen are interested in my services, lets negosh some compensash. Im thinking about taking 10 points off the back end, 5 points off the front end, and a 12% cut of all merchandise. Dig it?
Saxton: How about I dont put my foot up your dumb butt as compensation. Dig it?
Jerry: Okay, well we can work out a specific contract later. In the mean time, I got you fellas signed up for a few gigs. First of all, youre doing an autograph signing at the Jacksonville Toys R Us next Monday.
Saboteur: No can do, I have a lifetime ban from Toys R Us! One time I slashed all the tires on their tricycles to make sure an army of midget skinheads couldnt ride to a rally.
Jerry: Huh, okay then, well well just do it outside the Toys R Us. After that were doing a tour of Chik-Fil-As for photo ops.
Saxton: Oh HELL no! It dont matter if you like the ding dong, wing wang, or poon tang, Action Saxton dont care who you love as long as you lovin somebody! Chik-Fil-A dont feel that way, so Saxton dont feel like givin them suckas business!
Saboteur: Me neither! Their chicken tastes like sand!
Jerry: Okay, well then well do Burger Kings instead! See how easy this is guys? I come up with ideas, you give me feedback, and I work out your problems! This is how its going to be! Oh, but I do have one NON-negotiable arrangement for this Saturday. The WZCW Tag Team Champions, i.e. you two, will be teaming up with Titus and Angel on Meltdown!
Saboteur and Saxton exchange a look of concern.
Saboteur: I dont know man, that Titus guy is kind of crazy.
Garrett: Well if thats not a case of the pot calling the kettle cookwear.
Saxton: And theres something about that Angel dude that makes Saxton uneasy. For some reason he reminds me of Armando Paradyse, and I dont like that dude.
Jerry: Aw come on guys, this is a great career move for you! First we pair you with Titus, a WZCW legend! Think about it, you guys would be standing side by side with a two time WZCW Champion! And then on the other side you have Angel, a newcomer to WZCW with a ton of promise. Im telling you guys, people are going to look back when he retires and say, That match with Saboteur and Saxton, thats when he realized he was a star! And with those new shiny tag team titles around your waists, the crowd is going to go nuts! I mean totally crazy for you fellas!
Saxton scratches his chin and ponders the thought.
Saxton: Well, Ive worked with Titus a couple times before. The dude aint all there in the head, but hes a good dude, and a better wrestler. With him in our corner our chances of winning are good. Damn good!
Saboteur: Having God in our corner aint to bad either. Who are we facing anyway?
Jerry: What? Oh, nobody, some cultists and Strikeforce.
Saboteur and Saxton perk up and simultaneously say: Strikeforce!
Saboteur: Alright Jerry, well fight in this match and sign those autographs and take those pictures, but if you dont make us like, a titanic amount of money, Ill cut your face off and feed it to a squirrel.
Saxton: Oh hell do it too!
Jerry: All right all right! Chill out bros, everything is going to go primo. Major smiles times for you in the wallets, kapeesh? Now here, get out.
Jerry opens the door of the limo, revealing that they pulled up to Tituss house in Keystone City.
Jerry: You guys should start talking strategy with your new tag team partner. Okay? Hasta va lista bros, take it E-Z-For-Sheezy!
Saboteur and Saxton hop out of the limo and make their way up to Tituss house.
Find'er Woo'er Ryder
:( lost ma Mayhem Title
Part 3
It's a hot and sunny day in Las Cruses, New Mexico, which is also the new home of The Angel. He is standing outside of his local church, gazing at the people driving and walking by. He turns around and walks inside and sits down on a stool on top of a stage. He looks up at a painting of God and shakes his head.
Father. It's sad how many people do believe in you, but they force their beliefs on others. That is what Mason Westoff does. He is my opponent this week on Meltdown. Him and his new friend, Derek Jacobs, along with the former tag champs Strikeforce, will compete in an eight man tag team match. You have blessed me with the stongest and best in WZCW as my partners and it is an honor and a privelage to compete with them on my side. Titus, a Two time WZCW world champion, and the current reigning tag champs, Sabetuer and Action Saxton.
He gets down on his knees and looks up, arms opened wide, as he accepts God into his life and begins to pray.
Dear God,
I want to thank you for blessing me with everything you have. The money I got from working in WZCW has helped out the orphanage tremendously. I ask you to look over everyone in the match and allow us to compete together with no injuries. I want to thank you again for this opprutunity. Amen.
He stands up and walks over to an open bible. He begins to read it quietly.
"Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." Mathew 7:21-23
This verse screams Mason Westoff. Basically, a fake. A man who pretends to love our Lord in order to get others to do what he wants. He is full of sin. Greed. A powerful word that describes the Devils desire. And that's exactly what you are Mason. You disgust me with your preaching. Derek Jacobs was just a boy trying to make it in the business and you go and turn him into you're goon. Mikey and James? I was welcomed in the locker room by you two my first day here and back then you were some real great guys. The tag team gold you are after has turned you two into greedy savages. I considered you two friends. What has gotten into you the past few weeks. I understand you want a goal in the business but attacking men from behind? Cowards play.
He turns around and looks at a staute of Jesus, hanging from the Cross.
He gave his life for us, So we must live our life to the fullest for him.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4
Mason, Derek, Mikey, James. I will fear no evil. For thou art with me; Thy friends, Titus, Sabetuer, and Action Saxton, they comfort me.
It's a hot and sunny day in Las Cruses, New Mexico, which is also the new home of The Angel. He is standing outside of his local church, gazing at the people driving and walking by. He turns around and walks inside and sits down on a stool on top of a stage. He looks up at a painting of God and shakes his head.
Father. It's sad how many people do believe in you, but they force their beliefs on others. That is what Mason Westoff does. He is my opponent this week on Meltdown. Him and his new friend, Derek Jacobs, along with the former tag champs Strikeforce, will compete in an eight man tag team match. You have blessed me with the stongest and best in WZCW as my partners and it is an honor and a privelage to compete with them on my side. Titus, a Two time WZCW world champion, and the current reigning tag champs, Sabetuer and Action Saxton.
He gets down on his knees and looks up, arms opened wide, as he accepts God into his life and begins to pray.
Dear God,
I want to thank you for blessing me with everything you have. The money I got from working in WZCW has helped out the orphanage tremendously. I ask you to look over everyone in the match and allow us to compete together with no injuries. I want to thank you again for this opprutunity. Amen.
He stands up and walks over to an open bible. He begins to read it quietly.
"Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." Mathew 7:21-23
This verse screams Mason Westoff. Basically, a fake. A man who pretends to love our Lord in order to get others to do what he wants. He is full of sin. Greed. A powerful word that describes the Devils desire. And that's exactly what you are Mason. You disgust me with your preaching. Derek Jacobs was just a boy trying to make it in the business and you go and turn him into you're goon. Mikey and James? I was welcomed in the locker room by you two my first day here and back then you were some real great guys. The tag team gold you are after has turned you two into greedy savages. I considered you two friends. What has gotten into you the past few weeks. I understand you want a goal in the business but attacking men from behind? Cowards play.
He turns around and looks at a staute of Jesus, hanging from the Cross.
He gave his life for us, So we must live our life to the fullest for him.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4
Mason, Derek, Mikey, James. I will fear no evil. For thou art with me; Thy friends, Titus, Sabetuer, and Action Saxton, they comfort me.
I came around in the medical area just in time to see Ty Burna get cremated. That was terrible but I wasnt concerned about him, he was gone and that was good for everyone involved. I wasnt wishing death on him but I had more important business to attend to. My intention was to be at the airport by now, something my ticket could verify. It was almost exactly 11pm, my flight was at 11:15 and from there I had a two hour flight to San Francisco International Airport followed by a twenty minute drive to the hospital, I would have arrived in time to have a smoke, a coffee and a good nights sleep in a waiting room before our appointment with the gynaecologist. I wasnt even going to get the flight.
I swallowed hard, it made the back of my throat feel like it closed and I realised that the phone call I was about to make was a big one. The kind of call that changes your life and not always in the way you hoped. I dialled the number from memory, my fingers sliding from button to button without even thinking about it. It rang three times and Dinah answered, she had a voice that knew the whole conversation we were about to have.
Hey honey, please tell me that you about to board your flight.
I hesitated, silently saying more than a photograph. My mouth was dry, I swallowed again but before I could speak Dinah continued.
Youre not about to board your flight are you? I knew it. Ever since you won those damn titles youve done nothing but let me down. I swear to god Im kidding myself about you being a good father. I will call you when Im out of the hospital and tell you the gender of your unborn child.
I wanted to stop her, to tell her I didnt want to know without her, nor that I didnt want her to know without me. It was too late; three beeps from my phones earpiece told me she had hung up. The sound of metal on wood reverberated around the room as my mobile had its first flying lesson; it made a noise as it skidded along the floor, resting at my feet like a five hundred dollar boomerang.
A guttural, visceral scream left my lips as I finally found my voice. People have bad days; the last two hours had felt like a bad year. I grabbed the phone from the floor and clutched it tightly, hoping the scuffed and scratched outside had protected the interior like a motorcycle helmet. The screen was lit and I could see the menu as I glanced through the cracked glass. For a brief second I felt relief washing over me; until it rang. The ringtone gurgled through the speakers and the vibration felt stronger than usual, the screen flickered with effort. It was Dinah calling me back. I pressed the answer button and as I lifted the phone to my ear I could hear sympathy in her voice, I then heard the sound of sand falling in an hourglass as the circuitry crumbled and the lights of the screen went black.
There was a second flying lesson, plastic metal, glass and wood burst from the door. I stood, calm and centred, collected the SIM card and headed out of the door. The walk through the corridors was long and my head felt like it had been packed with cotton wool, by the time I reached our Dressing Room Mikey had packed our bags and was sat, waiting.
Were not making our flight are we? Mikey asked, his shoulders leaning forward as his chin almost touched his sternum.
No chance in hell buddy.
What the hell are we going to do? We lost our titles and now were going to lose the girls too. His sizable frame rose to its feet in an instant, his face crinkled and twitched. My mind went into panic mode and ran through six months of sparring, I could take him, if it came to it, Id probably have to end his career to keep him down though; the big guy had no idea of his own strength. In some ways I was amazed he hadnt accidentally hurt Rose at some point. There was no way the soft ass teddy bear would do that on purpose, but hes a six foot and damn near three-hundred pound wrestler and she was barely a hundred soaking wet.
I placed my hand on his shoulder, well figure something out, we need to get a hire car. If we go now we can take shifts and get to Frisco for the morning.
Its only a six hour drive.
I know but I destroyed my phone in the medical room and took a chunk out of the door, when Myles finds out hes going to be pissed.
I doubt it. I think Ty Burna just got killed, hes got more important things to worry about.
As we made our way out of the arena, Chris KO was sat atop a flight case. He was pale and with a bead of sweat on his forehead. The whole crew was, we hung our heads and walked silently out of the door. As we walked away from the arena, for the first time in months there were no fans waiting by the back door, just a black van quietly reaching the distance.
The following morning, just before dawn we pulled up the driveway in our rental car. Mikey agreed to return it at noon as I set out for a twenty four hour mall, hoping to pick up a new handset before I made my way to the hospital. When I powered up my new phone it went crazy, receiving twenty texts within minutes, Dinah, Alex, several guys from the locker room. Asking me about losing the belts and if I had heard anything about Ty. I wondered why they asked me, probably out of desperation, I hadnt heard anything, no-one had. I managed to shake the thoughts from my mind and focus on the other end of life. I reached the hospital just in time to see the wisps of Dinahs red hair disappear into the ultrasound room.
My mouth had dried as I walked down the corridor and knocked firmly on the door, I was hoping beyond hope that I wasnt too late for Dinah. The door was opened a crack by a nurse; he asked Dinah if I was allowed in the room. I heard nothing but the door was swung open from the inside and I was beckoned in. Dinah had her belly exposed and they were applying gel to it as she smiled at me.
What happened to you last night? I called you back but the signal mustve died. I didnt know if you were even going to try to get here until I saw Mikey in the kitchen.
I leant towards her, grasping her hand and kissing her on the forehead. It doesnt matter right now, Ill tell you later. I made it, thats what matters. What I said resonated; the titles had nearly destroyed our relationship. Theyd nearly destroyed me professionally and personally. I needed to be smarter when I next held gold, waiting months was not part of the plan. I wanted those titles back, at the first opportunity that came my, our way. Me and Stormrage were the best tag team in the company, we knew it, Saxoteur knew it, everyone knew it. We just needed to get our rhythm back. My thought process was interrupted by the Doctor, she smiled from ear to ear as she looked at me and Dinah.
Your babies are perfectly healthy; would you like to know the sex of your children?
I looked at Dinah; she looked back at me slightly concerned. I could feel the blood rushing away from my head. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before murmuring.
Children?
Dinah put her hand on my back to hold me up. Why do you think I wanted you here so badly? Were having twins James. We would like to know their sexes doctor.
Well, youre having one of each, a boy and a girl.
The hour after leaving the appointment room was a blur of phone calls to family and friends. Calls were coming in from all over in between; it was an hour so hectic I didnt even get a chance to celebrate. I had saved one call until last. Mikey and Rose had been having some problems, I think my problems and Dinahs problems had spilled over to them, I wanted to give them some time to talk. I ended up leaving a voicemail message for Mikey to call me. In the meantime I looked up on WZCW.com the match-ups for the next set of tapings. We were teaming up with some new guy and Derek Jacobs; they were calling themselves The New Church. I looked the new guy up, he sounded like he could be from Westboro; it was not a pairing I would have chosen to work with, but we could make it work. Our opponents were more troubling. Our rivals, Saboteur and Action Saxton were taking us on along with a new guy who had clearly impressed the right people in Angel and a former World Champion in Titus. They had experience on their side, but we had fearlessness. I knew Mikey and I wouldnt back down from this fight. Titus was a goofball, you could never tell if you were going to get the former world champion or a guy dressed in cardboard in an attempt to mock S.H.I.T. Angel was an unknown quantity, I hadnt followed him really but his profile read like a guy who had taken one too many chair-shots on his way to the bigs. Saboteur and Saxton were most definitely opponents we knew, a pair of jackasses who have done things that would make even Holmes and Burna wince but somehow the crowd loved them.
Mikey called back. I greeted him with elation, hey bro, Im having twins. One of each.
Holy sh~ Really? Hey Rose, theyre having twins. His sentence was punctuated by a squeal of delight from the background. I think Rose was happy.
Were going to go on holiday to celebrate. Dinah nudged me and smiled her approval. She knew what I was going to say next. After our next match, wed be delighted if you and Rose joined us.
Where you going?
I dunno really, probably Malibu or something. Not too far and the girls can get their shop on for baby clothes.
Sounds like a plan buddy. I heard the sound of Rose kissing Mikey on the cheek I uh, Ive got to go, Rose is going out in an hour and weve got some making up to do.
That was more than I needed to know. We need to hit the gym tonight, although we know Saxoteurs playbook I have no goddamn idea what Titus or Angel are capable of. We need to run through their moves and get planning.
The uh-huh I heard in response may as well have been a scream to hurry up.
Well go out for lunch. See you in a couple of hours.
For the first time in months I felt myself again, the rise and fall of our first tag reign was far too short. It was time to start the rise of our second. Although we were teaming with the New Church, I knew we would almost certainly have to go through them to get to our goal. This was our chance to scout them from relative safety. I was relishing it. I was relishing winning again.
I swallowed hard, it made the back of my throat feel like it closed and I realised that the phone call I was about to make was a big one. The kind of call that changes your life and not always in the way you hoped. I dialled the number from memory, my fingers sliding from button to button without even thinking about it. It rang three times and Dinah answered, she had a voice that knew the whole conversation we were about to have.
Hey honey, please tell me that you about to board your flight.
I hesitated, silently saying more than a photograph. My mouth was dry, I swallowed again but before I could speak Dinah continued.
Youre not about to board your flight are you? I knew it. Ever since you won those damn titles youve done nothing but let me down. I swear to god Im kidding myself about you being a good father. I will call you when Im out of the hospital and tell you the gender of your unborn child.
I wanted to stop her, to tell her I didnt want to know without her, nor that I didnt want her to know without me. It was too late; three beeps from my phones earpiece told me she had hung up. The sound of metal on wood reverberated around the room as my mobile had its first flying lesson; it made a noise as it skidded along the floor, resting at my feet like a five hundred dollar boomerang.
A guttural, visceral scream left my lips as I finally found my voice. People have bad days; the last two hours had felt like a bad year. I grabbed the phone from the floor and clutched it tightly, hoping the scuffed and scratched outside had protected the interior like a motorcycle helmet. The screen was lit and I could see the menu as I glanced through the cracked glass. For a brief second I felt relief washing over me; until it rang. The ringtone gurgled through the speakers and the vibration felt stronger than usual, the screen flickered with effort. It was Dinah calling me back. I pressed the answer button and as I lifted the phone to my ear I could hear sympathy in her voice, I then heard the sound of sand falling in an hourglass as the circuitry crumbled and the lights of the screen went black.
There was a second flying lesson, plastic metal, glass and wood burst from the door. I stood, calm and centred, collected the SIM card and headed out of the door. The walk through the corridors was long and my head felt like it had been packed with cotton wool, by the time I reached our Dressing Room Mikey had packed our bags and was sat, waiting.
Were not making our flight are we? Mikey asked, his shoulders leaning forward as his chin almost touched his sternum.
No chance in hell buddy.
What the hell are we going to do? We lost our titles and now were going to lose the girls too. His sizable frame rose to its feet in an instant, his face crinkled and twitched. My mind went into panic mode and ran through six months of sparring, I could take him, if it came to it, Id probably have to end his career to keep him down though; the big guy had no idea of his own strength. In some ways I was amazed he hadnt accidentally hurt Rose at some point. There was no way the soft ass teddy bear would do that on purpose, but hes a six foot and damn near three-hundred pound wrestler and she was barely a hundred soaking wet.
I placed my hand on his shoulder, well figure something out, we need to get a hire car. If we go now we can take shifts and get to Frisco for the morning.
Its only a six hour drive.
I know but I destroyed my phone in the medical room and took a chunk out of the door, when Myles finds out hes going to be pissed.
I doubt it. I think Ty Burna just got killed, hes got more important things to worry about.
As we made our way out of the arena, Chris KO was sat atop a flight case. He was pale and with a bead of sweat on his forehead. The whole crew was, we hung our heads and walked silently out of the door. As we walked away from the arena, for the first time in months there were no fans waiting by the back door, just a black van quietly reaching the distance.
The following morning, just before dawn we pulled up the driveway in our rental car. Mikey agreed to return it at noon as I set out for a twenty four hour mall, hoping to pick up a new handset before I made my way to the hospital. When I powered up my new phone it went crazy, receiving twenty texts within minutes, Dinah, Alex, several guys from the locker room. Asking me about losing the belts and if I had heard anything about Ty. I wondered why they asked me, probably out of desperation, I hadnt heard anything, no-one had. I managed to shake the thoughts from my mind and focus on the other end of life. I reached the hospital just in time to see the wisps of Dinahs red hair disappear into the ultrasound room.
My mouth had dried as I walked down the corridor and knocked firmly on the door, I was hoping beyond hope that I wasnt too late for Dinah. The door was opened a crack by a nurse; he asked Dinah if I was allowed in the room. I heard nothing but the door was swung open from the inside and I was beckoned in. Dinah had her belly exposed and they were applying gel to it as she smiled at me.
What happened to you last night? I called you back but the signal mustve died. I didnt know if you were even going to try to get here until I saw Mikey in the kitchen.
I leant towards her, grasping her hand and kissing her on the forehead. It doesnt matter right now, Ill tell you later. I made it, thats what matters. What I said resonated; the titles had nearly destroyed our relationship. Theyd nearly destroyed me professionally and personally. I needed to be smarter when I next held gold, waiting months was not part of the plan. I wanted those titles back, at the first opportunity that came my, our way. Me and Stormrage were the best tag team in the company, we knew it, Saxoteur knew it, everyone knew it. We just needed to get our rhythm back. My thought process was interrupted by the Doctor, she smiled from ear to ear as she looked at me and Dinah.
Your babies are perfectly healthy; would you like to know the sex of your children?
I looked at Dinah; she looked back at me slightly concerned. I could feel the blood rushing away from my head. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before murmuring.
Children?
Dinah put her hand on my back to hold me up. Why do you think I wanted you here so badly? Were having twins James. We would like to know their sexes doctor.
Well, youre having one of each, a boy and a girl.
The hour after leaving the appointment room was a blur of phone calls to family and friends. Calls were coming in from all over in between; it was an hour so hectic I didnt even get a chance to celebrate. I had saved one call until last. Mikey and Rose had been having some problems, I think my problems and Dinahs problems had spilled over to them, I wanted to give them some time to talk. I ended up leaving a voicemail message for Mikey to call me. In the meantime I looked up on WZCW.com the match-ups for the next set of tapings. We were teaming up with some new guy and Derek Jacobs; they were calling themselves The New Church. I looked the new guy up, he sounded like he could be from Westboro; it was not a pairing I would have chosen to work with, but we could make it work. Our opponents were more troubling. Our rivals, Saboteur and Action Saxton were taking us on along with a new guy who had clearly impressed the right people in Angel and a former World Champion in Titus. They had experience on their side, but we had fearlessness. I knew Mikey and I wouldnt back down from this fight. Titus was a goofball, you could never tell if you were going to get the former world champion or a guy dressed in cardboard in an attempt to mock S.H.I.T. Angel was an unknown quantity, I hadnt followed him really but his profile read like a guy who had taken one too many chair-shots on his way to the bigs. Saboteur and Saxton were most definitely opponents we knew, a pair of jackasses who have done things that would make even Holmes and Burna wince but somehow the crowd loved them.
Mikey called back. I greeted him with elation, hey bro, Im having twins. One of each.
Holy sh~ Really? Hey Rose, theyre having twins. His sentence was punctuated by a squeal of delight from the background. I think Rose was happy.
Were going to go on holiday to celebrate. Dinah nudged me and smiled her approval. She knew what I was going to say next. After our next match, wed be delighted if you and Rose joined us.
Where you going?
I dunno really, probably Malibu or something. Not too far and the girls can get their shop on for baby clothes.
Sounds like a plan buddy. I heard the sound of Rose kissing Mikey on the cheek I uh, Ive got to go, Rose is going out in an hour and weve got some making up to do.
That was more than I needed to know. We need to hit the gym tonight, although we know Saxoteurs playbook I have no goddamn idea what Titus or Angel are capable of. We need to run through their moves and get planning.
The uh-huh I heard in response may as well have been a scream to hurry up.
Well go out for lunch. See you in a couple of hours.
For the first time in months I felt myself again, the rise and fall of our first tag reign was far too short. It was time to start the rise of our second. Although we were teaming with the New Church, I knew we would almost certainly have to go through them to get to our goal. This was our chance to scout them from relative safety. I was relishing it. I was relishing winning again.
Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
I was a tag team champion once, but that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked.
What are you talking about?
I stopped looking out the window and looked over at James.
I yawned, tired from the drive. We were only a short time removed from six hour drive, and it was taking its toll on my energy. At this point I could barely keep my eyes open.
Come on man, the girls are asleep back at the house. Don't you go out too.
Are you calling me a girl?
You sure aren't acting much like a man at this point.
I'll pound you like a man.
A silence fell between us.
That came out wrong.
James laughed it off as I shook my head. I let out a sigh as he shoved my arm.
So what do you think we are going to do this week? An eight man tag match. We know Saxton and Saboteur, that part is easy. The New Church, Angel, and Titus are new to us though.
The New Church are on our team.
I know, but can we trust them? A religious zealot and Jacobs, that guy is a monster.
We have to trust them, a temporary alliance.
Okay, like two foes with a common enemy. Like when Master Chief and The Arbiter teamed up to take on the Covenant in Halo 2.
James nodded in silent agreement.
Do you really think we can trust them? After the match they go back to being just another team.
You trust me don't you?
Of course, you are my partner and a damn fine friend.
Thanks man, but you know Strikeforce can't last forever.
I don't like to think about that.
James took a moment to change lanes before he continued.
I'm sure one day you will want to avenge that loss to me in our debuts.
Of course. I watch traffic out the window, pondering my next words. That's a long time down the road once. I may be able to beat Saboteur without you, but I can't beat them both. I need you.
Well we need to talk about strategy.
I yawned and stretched as best I could.
I promise we will talk things over when we get to the restaurant, right now though dude I am exhausted. I'm taking a nap.
I struggled to take off my button up shirt in my cramped confines. I shifted my weight as best I could in the front seat of the car. I bundled up my shirt into a pillow, laid it against the window, and drifted off to sleep.
I awoke inside a dark room. I struggled my way forward to a sliver of light. As I got closer I realized the light was coming through a door that was left ajar. I opened it and light poured into my face. I used my hand to shield my eyes, I made out the silhouette of a man and made my way toward him.
As I lowered my head in an attempt to allow my eyes to adjust I saw that I was wearing armor and had a sword sheathed at my side. Before I had time to even think the man's voice ran out.
Welcome young Stormrage. We have brought you hear to help us combat a terrible evil.
I look around, my eyes having finally adjusted. The room is adorned with pews and decorative ornaments. I can see colored images on the floor, being cast my ornate stained glass windows. I was clearly in a church.
I see you are confused by your surroundings. This church is our only safety from the evil.
I notice movement in the shadows.
Those who seek shelter from the evil come here.
I'm sorry, what is this evil you speak of?
A few of the people in the shadows come forward. The looks on their faces show cautious optimism. They are clearly dejected, many in torn and tattered clothing. Others appear as though they haven't bathed or eaten well in some time.
There are four men of mythical power who have invaded our land. The Fallen Angel, the Man of Many Faces, and the Champion Duo, the Masked Trickster and The Enraged Warrior. They have caused much havoc, and we feel you are our only hope.
I take a moment, again looking around the room. The looks in the faces of those who have taken shelter here pierce my soul. I still have no clue how I got here, or why for that matter, but I feel compelled to help.
I will help. I don't know why, I have no idea how I got here, or who you people even are, but I feel a force is controlling me. Like I have no choice.
Know on your journey that you will be alone. The church can offer no help. Your friend from your previous quests, the fighter, can no longer help you. It is up to you and you alone to find and exploit the weakness of each of these tyrants.
I nod, still having trouble taking everything in. The man leads me to the double doors at the front of the church and wishes me luck on my way.
As I set out the land is rough, the grass dead and many trees bare of their leaves. There are partially destroyed buildings and small fires burning in the ruble. In the distance I can see a dim light, and what looks to healthy foliage. As I get closer I can hear a faint humming. I see a man, head down, dressed in pure white, sitting alone in the middle of the suddenly green grass. Though I can't see his mouth due to his mask I can hear him praying. As I approach he rises, head still down. His praying becomes louder and louder until he finishes in a yell. No sooner than he is finished, I am hurled backward onto the ground.
What the fu... I am cut off by more praying. This time a large rock from nearby is hovering above me. I quickly roll out of the way and scramble to my feet.
The Fallen Angel, this has to be him.
I roll out of the way of another rock. I draw my sword and charge at him. Again with the utterance of a simple prayer he sends me hurling backward. As I get back to my feet I tighten the grip on my sword and charge again.
Before he is able to begin another prayer I am able to get within range to swing my sword. Despite swinging my hardest the sword simply glances off him. I try again to the same result. He laughs at me before throwing me aside. I go to grab my sword when another rock comes my way. I dodge it, but it leaves me too far from my sword as The Angel advances on me. My only defense is to hurl a small rock at him. The rock strikes his mask and he recoils in pain.
The mask!
I try again with a larger rock and he recoils further. I gather myself and charge again. The Angel is enraged at this point, and is shouting prayers. Despite the barrage I am able to reach him with a new found ability to flip and dodge with the greatest of ease. I duck under a wild swing and leap on his back. After a short struggle I am able to get a firm grasp on his mask. I keep my grip despite his struggles, and am finally able to remove his mask. A sudden flash of light descends from the Heavens and The Angel is gone.
I fall to my back, breathing heavy. After a few moments I stand and feel suddenly stronger. I grab my sword and put it back in the sheath. I look around, unaware of where to go next. I look back but the route is suddenly blocked by more rubble. Upon further inspection I realize I only have one possible way to travel.
After a long journey I come to a large building. It stands menacingly alone in the middle of the road.
Looks like I have no choice. Why does it feel like I have done this before?
I walk to the doors and suddenly everything goes dark for a brief moment. Suddenly I am inside, with no recollection of actually opening the doors. A fast paced instrumental beat starts to play. As I continue forward I notice the room is filled with many outfits and mirrors. Despite the space in the room I find myself unable to walk anywhere other than the long decorative rug leading to the other side of the room. As I walk a man appears before me. Suddenly he changes into an entirely new person. A transformation happens again before he vanishes. I want to turn around but I can only retreat a few steps before I feel like I am just walking in place.
Great, another boss battle. Judging by the costumes and the crazy Optimus Prime act this must be The Man of Many Faces.
The man appears again, but stands motionless until I approach him. Again he transforms multiple times before vanishing. I continue to the end of the room when he appears behind me and attacks. I am able to fend him off long enough for him to disappear again. I look around for the man. I see him and lunge, but I just fall through one of the many mirrors in the room. I look and notice the man appear in random mirrors. I start to smash the mirrors until there is only one left. Before I can break the last one the man appears again. He begins to fight me. He catches me off guard and knocks my sword to the ground.
Why give me a sword if I can't use it?
The man continually changes form, really weirding me out. Suddenly I feel the urge to walk to the corner and grab the leg off a mirror frame. I attack with it, clearly hurting the man. He eventually fights me off and throws the club aside. This continues, each time the man becomes weaker and weaker, until he stops changing his form. He lunges one last time. I am able to catch him and a full on brawl ensues between us until I am able to gain control over him. My vision shifts focus, without my controlling it, to the remaining. I throw the man through the mirror without a second thought.
The music I heard suddenly changes to a positive tune and a blinding light again shines down. This time however a door appears in the light. I shrug my shoulders and try to open it. The door doesn't budge. I try again to no avail. Suddenly my sword flashes. I roll my eyes.
Figures.
I walk over and pick up my sword. Once I put it back in the sheath I can hear the door unlock. I open the door and it transports me to a wide open square area, devoid of any features, save a giant building in the middle.
Must be Wyoming. I laugh to myself.
I approach the building, feeling as if I have no other choice.
Hang on, I have to try this.
I turn around and try the door. It has been locked again. I try it a second time and the door disappears.
Thought so.
I walk back toward the building. I can hear what sounds like arguing inside. I reach the door and open it nervously. When I step inside the room is empty. I take a second step inside and suddenly feel the floor move. I feel myself being lifted into the air, the floor rising up below me.
I swallow hard. Great, heights.
The floor elevator combo reaches its destination. I walk through the double doors and watch a katana fly past my head and stick into the wall. The two men turn and face me. One man, clad in a full body suit with a mask is laughing, the other a well built man who cracks his knuckles.
The Masked Trickster and the Enraged Warrior. Why do I feel like I have seen these guys before?
The masked trickster charges at me with a katana but I am able to easily dispose of him with one quick swing of my own sword.
I already beat him once, you will have to try harder than that.
The Warrior walks over and attends to his fallen friend. They have a quick chat and the two of them rise up together. I ready myself again, feeling as though I can deal with the both of them. I hold my own for a while, but the numbers game catches up to me. I put up a futile battle for as long as I can, but it wasn't a fight I could win. My battle scars are evident, I feel as though I only have half a heart to go on at this point, but I press on. I take a final swing to no avail. The Warrior and the Trickster stand over me. The Trickster hands one of his katanas to The Warrior and they swing simultaneously.
No, game over!
What the hell are you on about?
I look over at James, my glasses now hanging off my face.
Oh bad dream. Are we there yet?
I have been trying to wake you for twenty minutes.
I roll over and face him, rubbing my eyes.
Sorry, I'm tired. I haven't had much time to sleep.
Yeah I know. When you left the house your fly was unzipped.
You're the one with the pregnant girlfriend. Don't judge me.
James blushes a bit.
So what about that dream?
I step out of the car and grab my bag.
It felt like I was playing a game.
Even when you dream you are gaming.
Yeah, but I think it meant something. We have to work as a team no matter what. We have had our victories alone, but we are much more successful as a team. Neither of us can conquer the champions alone. If we work together we can regain that gold.
Damn straight, you can get Belty back.
A tear forms in the corner of my eye. I look at the ground and watch as a rock becomes stained with the tear.
We can and we will.
I lean over the hood of the car and bump fists with James.
Like Marcus Fenix and Dom Santiago.
Like Sonic and Tails.
Mario and Luigi.
Master Chief and Cortona.
I look at him puzzled.
Wait which one of us is the girl?
You are obviously.
Why do I have to be the girl?
Because you are the only one us to have the tits for it.
What are you talking about?
I stopped looking out the window and looked over at James.
I yawned, tired from the drive. We were only a short time removed from six hour drive, and it was taking its toll on my energy. At this point I could barely keep my eyes open.
Come on man, the girls are asleep back at the house. Don't you go out too.
Are you calling me a girl?
You sure aren't acting much like a man at this point.
I'll pound you like a man.
A silence fell between us.
That came out wrong.
James laughed it off as I shook my head. I let out a sigh as he shoved my arm.
So what do you think we are going to do this week? An eight man tag match. We know Saxton and Saboteur, that part is easy. The New Church, Angel, and Titus are new to us though.
The New Church are on our team.
I know, but can we trust them? A religious zealot and Jacobs, that guy is a monster.
We have to trust them, a temporary alliance.
Okay, like two foes with a common enemy. Like when Master Chief and The Arbiter teamed up to take on the Covenant in Halo 2.
James nodded in silent agreement.
Do you really think we can trust them? After the match they go back to being just another team.
You trust me don't you?
Of course, you are my partner and a damn fine friend.
Thanks man, but you know Strikeforce can't last forever.
I don't like to think about that.
James took a moment to change lanes before he continued.
I'm sure one day you will want to avenge that loss to me in our debuts.
Of course. I watch traffic out the window, pondering my next words. That's a long time down the road once. I may be able to beat Saboteur without you, but I can't beat them both. I need you.
Well we need to talk about strategy.
I yawned and stretched as best I could.
I promise we will talk things over when we get to the restaurant, right now though dude I am exhausted. I'm taking a nap.
I struggled to take off my button up shirt in my cramped confines. I shifted my weight as best I could in the front seat of the car. I bundled up my shirt into a pillow, laid it against the window, and drifted off to sleep.
I awoke inside a dark room. I struggled my way forward to a sliver of light. As I got closer I realized the light was coming through a door that was left ajar. I opened it and light poured into my face. I used my hand to shield my eyes, I made out the silhouette of a man and made my way toward him.
As I lowered my head in an attempt to allow my eyes to adjust I saw that I was wearing armor and had a sword sheathed at my side. Before I had time to even think the man's voice ran out.
Welcome young Stormrage. We have brought you hear to help us combat a terrible evil.
I look around, my eyes having finally adjusted. The room is adorned with pews and decorative ornaments. I can see colored images on the floor, being cast my ornate stained glass windows. I was clearly in a church.
I see you are confused by your surroundings. This church is our only safety from the evil.
I notice movement in the shadows.
Those who seek shelter from the evil come here.
I'm sorry, what is this evil you speak of?
A few of the people in the shadows come forward. The looks on their faces show cautious optimism. They are clearly dejected, many in torn and tattered clothing. Others appear as though they haven't bathed or eaten well in some time.
There are four men of mythical power who have invaded our land. The Fallen Angel, the Man of Many Faces, and the Champion Duo, the Masked Trickster and The Enraged Warrior. They have caused much havoc, and we feel you are our only hope.
I take a moment, again looking around the room. The looks in the faces of those who have taken shelter here pierce my soul. I still have no clue how I got here, or why for that matter, but I feel compelled to help.
I will help. I don't know why, I have no idea how I got here, or who you people even are, but I feel a force is controlling me. Like I have no choice.
Know on your journey that you will be alone. The church can offer no help. Your friend from your previous quests, the fighter, can no longer help you. It is up to you and you alone to find and exploit the weakness of each of these tyrants.
I nod, still having trouble taking everything in. The man leads me to the double doors at the front of the church and wishes me luck on my way.
As I set out the land is rough, the grass dead and many trees bare of their leaves. There are partially destroyed buildings and small fires burning in the ruble. In the distance I can see a dim light, and what looks to healthy foliage. As I get closer I can hear a faint humming. I see a man, head down, dressed in pure white, sitting alone in the middle of the suddenly green grass. Though I can't see his mouth due to his mask I can hear him praying. As I approach he rises, head still down. His praying becomes louder and louder until he finishes in a yell. No sooner than he is finished, I am hurled backward onto the ground.
What the fu... I am cut off by more praying. This time a large rock from nearby is hovering above me. I quickly roll out of the way and scramble to my feet.
The Fallen Angel, this has to be him.
I roll out of the way of another rock. I draw my sword and charge at him. Again with the utterance of a simple prayer he sends me hurling backward. As I get back to my feet I tighten the grip on my sword and charge again.
Before he is able to begin another prayer I am able to get within range to swing my sword. Despite swinging my hardest the sword simply glances off him. I try again to the same result. He laughs at me before throwing me aside. I go to grab my sword when another rock comes my way. I dodge it, but it leaves me too far from my sword as The Angel advances on me. My only defense is to hurl a small rock at him. The rock strikes his mask and he recoils in pain.
The mask!
I try again with a larger rock and he recoils further. I gather myself and charge again. The Angel is enraged at this point, and is shouting prayers. Despite the barrage I am able to reach him with a new found ability to flip and dodge with the greatest of ease. I duck under a wild swing and leap on his back. After a short struggle I am able to get a firm grasp on his mask. I keep my grip despite his struggles, and am finally able to remove his mask. A sudden flash of light descends from the Heavens and The Angel is gone.
I fall to my back, breathing heavy. After a few moments I stand and feel suddenly stronger. I grab my sword and put it back in the sheath. I look around, unaware of where to go next. I look back but the route is suddenly blocked by more rubble. Upon further inspection I realize I only have one possible way to travel.
After a long journey I come to a large building. It stands menacingly alone in the middle of the road.
Looks like I have no choice. Why does it feel like I have done this before?
I walk to the doors and suddenly everything goes dark for a brief moment. Suddenly I am inside, with no recollection of actually opening the doors. A fast paced instrumental beat starts to play. As I continue forward I notice the room is filled with many outfits and mirrors. Despite the space in the room I find myself unable to walk anywhere other than the long decorative rug leading to the other side of the room. As I walk a man appears before me. Suddenly he changes into an entirely new person. A transformation happens again before he vanishes. I want to turn around but I can only retreat a few steps before I feel like I am just walking in place.
Great, another boss battle. Judging by the costumes and the crazy Optimus Prime act this must be The Man of Many Faces.
The man appears again, but stands motionless until I approach him. Again he transforms multiple times before vanishing. I continue to the end of the room when he appears behind me and attacks. I am able to fend him off long enough for him to disappear again. I look around for the man. I see him and lunge, but I just fall through one of the many mirrors in the room. I look and notice the man appear in random mirrors. I start to smash the mirrors until there is only one left. Before I can break the last one the man appears again. He begins to fight me. He catches me off guard and knocks my sword to the ground.
Why give me a sword if I can't use it?
The man continually changes form, really weirding me out. Suddenly I feel the urge to walk to the corner and grab the leg off a mirror frame. I attack with it, clearly hurting the man. He eventually fights me off and throws the club aside. This continues, each time the man becomes weaker and weaker, until he stops changing his form. He lunges one last time. I am able to catch him and a full on brawl ensues between us until I am able to gain control over him. My vision shifts focus, without my controlling it, to the remaining. I throw the man through the mirror without a second thought.
The music I heard suddenly changes to a positive tune and a blinding light again shines down. This time however a door appears in the light. I shrug my shoulders and try to open it. The door doesn't budge. I try again to no avail. Suddenly my sword flashes. I roll my eyes.
Figures.
I walk over and pick up my sword. Once I put it back in the sheath I can hear the door unlock. I open the door and it transports me to a wide open square area, devoid of any features, save a giant building in the middle.
Must be Wyoming. I laugh to myself.
I approach the building, feeling as if I have no other choice.
Hang on, I have to try this.
I turn around and try the door. It has been locked again. I try it a second time and the door disappears.
Thought so.
I walk back toward the building. I can hear what sounds like arguing inside. I reach the door and open it nervously. When I step inside the room is empty. I take a second step inside and suddenly feel the floor move. I feel myself being lifted into the air, the floor rising up below me.
I swallow hard. Great, heights.
The floor elevator combo reaches its destination. I walk through the double doors and watch a katana fly past my head and stick into the wall. The two men turn and face me. One man, clad in a full body suit with a mask is laughing, the other a well built man who cracks his knuckles.
The Masked Trickster and the Enraged Warrior. Why do I feel like I have seen these guys before?
The masked trickster charges at me with a katana but I am able to easily dispose of him with one quick swing of my own sword.
I already beat him once, you will have to try harder than that.
The Warrior walks over and attends to his fallen friend. They have a quick chat and the two of them rise up together. I ready myself again, feeling as though I can deal with the both of them. I hold my own for a while, but the numbers game catches up to me. I put up a futile battle for as long as I can, but it wasn't a fight I could win. My battle scars are evident, I feel as though I only have half a heart to go on at this point, but I press on. I take a final swing to no avail. The Warrior and the Trickster stand over me. The Trickster hands one of his katanas to The Warrior and they swing simultaneously.
No, game over!
What the hell are you on about?
I look over at James, my glasses now hanging off my face.
Oh bad dream. Are we there yet?
I have been trying to wake you for twenty minutes.
I roll over and face him, rubbing my eyes.
Sorry, I'm tired. I haven't had much time to sleep.
Yeah I know. When you left the house your fly was unzipped.
You're the one with the pregnant girlfriend. Don't judge me.
James blushes a bit.
So what about that dream?
I step out of the car and grab my bag.
It felt like I was playing a game.
Even when you dream you are gaming.
Yeah, but I think it meant something. We have to work as a team no matter what. We have had our victories alone, but we are much more successful as a team. Neither of us can conquer the champions alone. If we work together we can regain that gold.
Damn straight, you can get Belty back.
A tear forms in the corner of my eye. I look at the ground and watch as a rock becomes stained with the tear.
We can and we will.
I lean over the hood of the car and bump fists with James.
Like Marcus Fenix and Dom Santiago.
Like Sonic and Tails.
Mario and Luigi.
Master Chief and Cortona.
I look at him puzzled.
Wait which one of us is the girl?
You are obviously.
Why do I have to be the girl?
Because you are the only one us to have the tits for it.
[size=-2]Part 4[/size]
Signal Panic, Inc. presents
Action Saxton and Saboteur and Titus and The Angel
in
"Four Good Men Go To Church"
It is a fine day in Las Cruces, New Mexico - "The City of Crosses". The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and inside a quaint but fairly well-kept church, four men are strategizing.
"If we manage to distract the referee, we could grab a cup of soda from the crowd and throw it in Howard's face, causing Mikey Stormrage to go mad with hunger and devour his face! Westhoff and Mason will be so shocked at the brutality that they'll announce their religion and burst into flames on the spot, giving us the win by DQ!"
There is an impressive silence as Action Saxton, Titus, and The Angel stare at Saboteur with bemused looks on their faces. Titus's mouth is slightly open. Action Saxton opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it. It's hard to tell what Angel is doing, as his face is covered with a mask. After inhaling and exhaling, Action Saxton opens his mouth to speak once more.
"Well, sucka, it's imaginative, but I gotta be blunt - I don't think that this will work in this match."
Saboteur folds his arms indignantly. "It always works when I play the WZCW'13 demo at Wal-Mart."
"Always?"
Saboteur shrugs. "I may be remembering it wrong."
"Perhaps," Titus speaks up, "we should focus on working as a team to defeat them in a wrestling match."
Action Saxton ponders his suggestion for a moment.
"That's crazy-talk, sucka!" he replies. "Wrestling during wrestling is for suckas who can't imagine anything better."
"Perhaps we should pray to the Lord, so that he may light our path," Angel pipes up.
Action Saxton looks thoughtful. "You know, sucka, you may have a point. But we can save that for later. I tried praying once, and my prayer was answered, but that big guy in the sky only sent one ton of ninja-crushing cement my way instead of the forty-two waves I specifically requested."
He sighs, and stands up.
"Okay, maybe you all have a point. Saboteur, you are right in thinking we all need to work together. Titus, you are right because the best way to beat that fat sucka, that MMA sucka, and those ugly churchy suckas - no offense, Angel - is to show them how real wrestlers wrestle for real!"
"No offense was taken, my friend," Angel replies, politely waiting until after Saxton had paused in his speech to reply. Saxton nods in acknowledgment before continuing.
"And hell, maybe a little divine intervention against those suckas won't be too bad. Now, Sab and I have faced Strikeforce before on multiple occasions. They're tough mu'suckas who are also mean."
"Yeah! Ugly, too!"
"Exactly. But you know what, Sab? We beat those suckas and we beat them hard. You and me, we are the WZCW Tag Team Champions. We worked hard for these belts, fighting through hellfire, brimstone, and suckas in Easter Bunny outfits. We've talked about how fat Stormrage is and how dumb mixed martial arts is and how goofy Howard's beard is more times than Armando Paradyse has lost matches. What's one more time?"
Action Saxton moves his gaze to Titus.
"Sucka, you are a former two-time WZCW Champion. I am honored to be fighting alongside you. You also have starred in movies. I have starred in movies. Now I'm sure that the movie you were in with the gangsters or the movie you were in with the priests were not as entertaining as the one where I punched a ninja so hard he hit the moon and caused it to explode. I would not know as I have not seen your movies. But the fact remains is that you and I have a lot in common. And you have a lot in common with these suckas here in that you have a shared love of masks. You are a winner, sucka, a WZCW legend who knows the ways of the squared circle."
Finally, he turns once again to Angel.
"Sucka, this is your chance to make an impression. You are young in career but you already have a distinct advantage over those suckas in The New Church as you have us on your side and you have a cool mask. Now, there are many people who wear masks. Titus was once Red Mask. Saboteur may be wearing a mask, unless he has a rare skin condition and if that is the case I am truly sorry and mean no nevermind by it. I once donned a mask as superhero Super America in order to defend America in my film Super America Defends America. Masks can contain power, sucka, power that the non-mask-wearing New Church suckas do not have. If you can channel the power that your mask gives you, and if we can all work together, Strikeforce and The New Church are all going down."
The four of them all stand in a group and place their right hands together. They all look at each other and nod. Action Saxton decides that the time is right for an inspirational speech.
"One thing we have over those suckas on the other side is that we have many things in common. But the number one thing we have in common is heart. And if the three of you feel as strongly about Earth, Wind, & Fire as I do, then that is another thing we have in common. I do not believe that will play a part in our match, but I may be mistaken.
But listen up, suckas! Together we form an unbreakable team of passion and heart, two things that those suckas on the other side lack. It is this fighting spirit and unbreakable camaraderie that will lead us to victory over Strikeforce and The New Church. We don't want to lose, and with this conviction I know we won't.
These hands are stained with the blood of a thousand ninjas, and can punch through concrete. These feet know fury like many scorned women. I am the badass brother unlike any other. I am the man with no equal, a friend to all people. And with all of us together I know we fear nothing. Strikeforce! New Church! Prepare yourselves for the storm, suckas.
Now can you dig that?"
The entire team acknowledges that they can indeed dig that, their responses echoing throughout the church. Together, pumped up, they leave to prepare for their match.
Action Saxton and Saboteur and Titus and The Angel
in
"Four Good Men Go To Church"
It is a fine day in Las Cruces, New Mexico - "The City of Crosses". The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and inside a quaint but fairly well-kept church, four men are strategizing.
"If we manage to distract the referee, we could grab a cup of soda from the crowd and throw it in Howard's face, causing Mikey Stormrage to go mad with hunger and devour his face! Westhoff and Mason will be so shocked at the brutality that they'll announce their religion and burst into flames on the spot, giving us the win by DQ!"
There is an impressive silence as Action Saxton, Titus, and The Angel stare at Saboteur with bemused looks on their faces. Titus's mouth is slightly open. Action Saxton opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it. It's hard to tell what Angel is doing, as his face is covered with a mask. After inhaling and exhaling, Action Saxton opens his mouth to speak once more.
"Well, sucka, it's imaginative, but I gotta be blunt - I don't think that this will work in this match."
Saboteur folds his arms indignantly. "It always works when I play the WZCW'13 demo at Wal-Mart."
"Always?"
Saboteur shrugs. "I may be remembering it wrong."
"Perhaps," Titus speaks up, "we should focus on working as a team to defeat them in a wrestling match."
Action Saxton ponders his suggestion for a moment.
"That's crazy-talk, sucka!" he replies. "Wrestling during wrestling is for suckas who can't imagine anything better."
"Perhaps we should pray to the Lord, so that he may light our path," Angel pipes up.
Action Saxton looks thoughtful. "You know, sucka, you may have a point. But we can save that for later. I tried praying once, and my prayer was answered, but that big guy in the sky only sent one ton of ninja-crushing cement my way instead of the forty-two waves I specifically requested."
He sighs, and stands up.
"Okay, maybe you all have a point. Saboteur, you are right in thinking we all need to work together. Titus, you are right because the best way to beat that fat sucka, that MMA sucka, and those ugly churchy suckas - no offense, Angel - is to show them how real wrestlers wrestle for real!"
"No offense was taken, my friend," Angel replies, politely waiting until after Saxton had paused in his speech to reply. Saxton nods in acknowledgment before continuing.
"And hell, maybe a little divine intervention against those suckas won't be too bad. Now, Sab and I have faced Strikeforce before on multiple occasions. They're tough mu'suckas who are also mean."
"Yeah! Ugly, too!"
"Exactly. But you know what, Sab? We beat those suckas and we beat them hard. You and me, we are the WZCW Tag Team Champions. We worked hard for these belts, fighting through hellfire, brimstone, and suckas in Easter Bunny outfits. We've talked about how fat Stormrage is and how dumb mixed martial arts is and how goofy Howard's beard is more times than Armando Paradyse has lost matches. What's one more time?"
Action Saxton moves his gaze to Titus.
"Sucka, you are a former two-time WZCW Champion. I am honored to be fighting alongside you. You also have starred in movies. I have starred in movies. Now I'm sure that the movie you were in with the gangsters or the movie you were in with the priests were not as entertaining as the one where I punched a ninja so hard he hit the moon and caused it to explode. I would not know as I have not seen your movies. But the fact remains is that you and I have a lot in common. And you have a lot in common with these suckas here in that you have a shared love of masks. You are a winner, sucka, a WZCW legend who knows the ways of the squared circle."
Finally, he turns once again to Angel.
"Sucka, this is your chance to make an impression. You are young in career but you already have a distinct advantage over those suckas in The New Church as you have us on your side and you have a cool mask. Now, there are many people who wear masks. Titus was once Red Mask. Saboteur may be wearing a mask, unless he has a rare skin condition and if that is the case I am truly sorry and mean no nevermind by it. I once donned a mask as superhero Super America in order to defend America in my film Super America Defends America. Masks can contain power, sucka, power that the non-mask-wearing New Church suckas do not have. If you can channel the power that your mask gives you, and if we can all work together, Strikeforce and The New Church are all going down."
The four of them all stand in a group and place their right hands together. They all look at each other and nod. Action Saxton decides that the time is right for an inspirational speech.
"One thing we have over those suckas on the other side is that we have many things in common. But the number one thing we have in common is heart. And if the three of you feel as strongly about Earth, Wind, & Fire as I do, then that is another thing we have in common. I do not believe that will play a part in our match, but I may be mistaken.
But listen up, suckas! Together we form an unbreakable team of passion and heart, two things that those suckas on the other side lack. It is this fighting spirit and unbreakable camaraderie that will lead us to victory over Strikeforce and The New Church. We don't want to lose, and with this conviction I know we won't.
These hands are stained with the blood of a thousand ninjas, and can punch through concrete. These feet know fury like many scorned women. I am the badass brother unlike any other. I am the man with no equal, a friend to all people. And with all of us together I know we fear nothing. Strikeforce! New Church! Prepare yourselves for the storm, suckas.
Now can you dig that?"
The entire team acknowledges that they can indeed dig that, their responses echoing throughout the church. Together, pumped up, they leave to prepare for their match.
Lee
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supermod!
Part 2!!!
We're stood in a house which we have seen many times, stood up is Titus and he's next to Leon Kensworth. The house is, of course, that of the four time Oscar winner but the focus is not on the décor but on the two men.
Kensworth: At Redemption you almost did the impossible and became a three time world champion after previously wrestling another match. That is no mean feat.
Titus: Indeed it isn't Leon, I fought valiantly but unfortunately I was cut short.
Kensworth: So what next for you? I assume you will continue your pursuit of gold?
Titus: Luck has left me standing so tall and it's....whoa what on Earth is that?
It was about that time that Titus' house shone with the power of gold. What does it mean? Is there a champion nearby? It seems to be double the amount of shine that a champion could provide so surely that means...
CRASH
Saxton: That's right Suckah's!
"Saxton! Action Sax....boteur"
Signal Panic, Inc. Presents:
Acton Saxton, Saboteur and Titus Avison
in
"That scene from the Blues Brothers where Jake and Elwood talk to Cab Calloway after getting out of jail."
Just then Titus' door ends up on the floor and following Action Saxton is his tag team partner Saboteur.
Saboteur: Titus Avison, you meet your match!
Titus: Aww hell no!
Saxton: That's my line brother.
Saxton pulls his fist back at the speed of light but as he goes to punch forward he goes into a handshake.
Saboteur: This week we fight together.
Titus: That shall be an honour, the three of us on the same team, what could possibly go wrong?
Saxton: You jive turkey, it's not just the three of us.
Saboteur: Haven't you even checked this weeks matches?
Titus: Not really, I've been pretty busy to be honest.
Saxton: Busy enough to notice that Kensworth ran off like a little girl when we stormed the room.
All three men look around and realise that Leon was in fact nowhere to be seen.
Titus: I guess I didn't. So who's are partner? Is it the great Showtime?
Saboteur: No.
Titus: I know, is it Chris KO?
Saxton: No!
Titus looks perplexed as he looks and notices the clock across the room.
Titus: Hmm, that clock tells the time. Times Square is in New York. Old York is just called York and is close to the chocolate bar Yorkie. Yorkie, as we all know, is not for girls. You know what else is not for girls? Being a homosexual man. This is more commonly known as being Gay and you know who else is gay? Latin Singer Ricky Martin. Now he's friend with fellow singer Lou Briel who is straight. What if he wasn't? He'd be Gay Briel. As in Gabriel the Archangel who visited Mary about the birth of Jesus. Jumping Jack Flash I've got it. We're teaming with Angel!
Saboteur: Yes, he's our partner. Now we need to track him down.
Titus: He'll be at church. We could use a little churching up. Let's slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. We should listen to what he's got to say.
Saxton: I don't want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.
Titus: Action, you get wise. You get to church.
"Saxton! Action Sax....boteur...itus!"
The three men leave Titus' house. Outside there are three kids playing soccer, Titus turns to lock his front door then remembers Action Saxton kicked the mother sucker down. They walk forward to the group of boys.
Boys Hey Mr. Avison, how's it going?
Titus: Hey boys, meet my friends Saboteur and Action Saxton.
Boy 1 That's funny, my Daddy's called Action Saxton. That's what my mommy said.
Boy 2 My Mom said my Dad's called Action Saxton as well.
Saxton: A lot of cats have that name.
Saboteur feeling a bit left out turns to the other boy.
Saboteur: So what's your Dad's name?
Boy 2 My Dad is called Doug!
Saxton: Look children we need to go to church. Stay in school and stay off drugs!
Titus and the tag team champions walk off.
Saboteur: I was thinking we could get him more in the dark. Turn the lights out and just appear out the shadows, he'll not realise until it's too late. He won't be able to run from us.
Saxton: I say we barge through the door making a huge scene and we shout “Angel you suckah, it's time to learn how to wrestle!”
Saboteur: Quietness is how it gets sorted.
Saxton: No! We go all out.
Saxton pulls his fist back again but Titus stands between the two men.
Titus: We could just talk to him like a grown adult?
Saboteur: That could work.
The scene fades as all three men continue walking
We're stood in a house which we have seen many times, stood up is Titus and he's next to Leon Kensworth. The house is, of course, that of the four time Oscar winner but the focus is not on the décor but on the two men.
Kensworth: At Redemption you almost did the impossible and became a three time world champion after previously wrestling another match. That is no mean feat.
Titus: Indeed it isn't Leon, I fought valiantly but unfortunately I was cut short.
Kensworth: So what next for you? I assume you will continue your pursuit of gold?
Titus: Luck has left me standing so tall and it's....whoa what on Earth is that?
It was about that time that Titus' house shone with the power of gold. What does it mean? Is there a champion nearby? It seems to be double the amount of shine that a champion could provide so surely that means...
CRASH
Saxton: That's right Suckah's!
"Saxton! Action Sax....boteur"
Signal Panic, Inc. Presents:
Acton Saxton, Saboteur and Titus Avison
in
"That scene from the Blues Brothers where Jake and Elwood talk to Cab Calloway after getting out of jail."
Just then Titus' door ends up on the floor and following Action Saxton is his tag team partner Saboteur.
Saboteur: Titus Avison, you meet your match!
Titus: Aww hell no!
Saxton: That's my line brother.
Saxton pulls his fist back at the speed of light but as he goes to punch forward he goes into a handshake.
Saboteur: This week we fight together.
Titus: That shall be an honour, the three of us on the same team, what could possibly go wrong?
Saxton: You jive turkey, it's not just the three of us.
Saboteur: Haven't you even checked this weeks matches?
Titus: Not really, I've been pretty busy to be honest.
Saxton: Busy enough to notice that Kensworth ran off like a little girl when we stormed the room.
All three men look around and realise that Leon was in fact nowhere to be seen.
Titus: I guess I didn't. So who's are partner? Is it the great Showtime?
Saboteur: No.
Titus: I know, is it Chris KO?
Saxton: No!
Titus looks perplexed as he looks and notices the clock across the room.
Titus: Hmm, that clock tells the time. Times Square is in New York. Old York is just called York and is close to the chocolate bar Yorkie. Yorkie, as we all know, is not for girls. You know what else is not for girls? Being a homosexual man. This is more commonly known as being Gay and you know who else is gay? Latin Singer Ricky Martin. Now he's friend with fellow singer Lou Briel who is straight. What if he wasn't? He'd be Gay Briel. As in Gabriel the Archangel who visited Mary about the birth of Jesus. Jumping Jack Flash I've got it. We're teaming with Angel!
Saboteur: Yes, he's our partner. Now we need to track him down.
Titus: He'll be at church. We could use a little churching up. Let's slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. We should listen to what he's got to say.
Saxton: I don't want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.
Titus: Action, you get wise. You get to church.
"Saxton! Action Sax....boteur...itus!"
The three men leave Titus' house. Outside there are three kids playing soccer, Titus turns to lock his front door then remembers Action Saxton kicked the mother sucker down. They walk forward to the group of boys.
Boys Hey Mr. Avison, how's it going?
Titus: Hey boys, meet my friends Saboteur and Action Saxton.
Boy 1 That's funny, my Daddy's called Action Saxton. That's what my mommy said.
Boy 2 My Mom said my Dad's called Action Saxton as well.
Saxton: A lot of cats have that name.
Saboteur feeling a bit left out turns to the other boy.
Saboteur: So what's your Dad's name?
Boy 2 My Dad is called Doug!
Saxton: Look children we need to go to church. Stay in school and stay off drugs!
Titus and the tag team champions walk off.
Saboteur: I was thinking we could get him more in the dark. Turn the lights out and just appear out the shadows, he'll not realise until it's too late. He won't be able to run from us.
Saxton: I say we barge through the door making a huge scene and we shout “Angel you suckah, it's time to learn how to wrestle!”
Saboteur: Quietness is how it gets sorted.
Saxton: No! We go all out.
Saxton pulls his fist back again but Titus stands between the two men.
Titus: We could just talk to him like a grown adult?
Saboteur: That could work.
The scene fades as all three men continue walking
- Status
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