[We open to a black screen. After a few moments, text appears in white on the screen.]
may·hem
n.
1. The offense of willfully maiming or crippling a person.
2. Infliction of injury on a person or thing; wanton destruction.
3. A state of violent disorder or riotous confusion; havoc.
[The screen begins to fade into static. Soon after, the static gives way to the image of Leon Kennedy standing with
Gordito.
Leon is wearing a cheap grey broadcasters suit with a red tie, while
Gordito is in his torn black denim jeans, a red WZCW t-shirt, and his ratty red robe, his mohawk spiked up. They appear to be in an underground parking structure which is quite full. Each of them is holding a mic, and
Gordito turns towards the camera as he starts to speak into his.]
Welcome back, WZCW fans! It's The Dirty One Gordito, here to share some crazy with you before I head out for the night.
[A mid 80's model van pulls up a couple of yards away. It appears to be painted in black primer, with red patches in streak at random intervals. There appears to be quite a few
rockabilly and punk types inside, but as there aren't any windows on the sides, no one is really visible to the camera. The horn strikes twice.
Gordito turns around to greet them, while
Leon appears to be spooked for just a moment.]
I'll just be a few minutes, guys!
[
Gordito turns back towards
Leon.]
Leon, buddy, do you know why you're here right now?
[
Leon answers sheepishly.]
Because Klamor stills wants nothing to do with you?
[
Gordito is surprised by this.]
Wait, what really? Well, besides that man!
Oh sorry, I-I mean, is it because of the missing Mayhem Championship Belt?
[
Gordito steps forward a bit a gives
Leon a hearty pat on the back that he is not ready for.]
Exactly, buddy!
[
Leon reaches up to fix his glasses, which had fallen loose.]
Recently, at Apocalypse, I was given a second shot at the WZCW Mayhem Championship. It was a six way ladder match, and I was a favorite to win. After all the carnage, after all the violence, it was down to two men; Baez and The Dirty One. The reigning champion, and the restless challenger. The way it should be, baby.
[
Leon, who has by now recovered his composure, is quick to pick up where this is going.]
But then somebody hit the lights! An-and when they came back on...
I was laid out on my ass...
And the Mayhem Championship Belt was gone! There was a only a note left in it's place...
And it appeared to be the work of Dr. Steven Kurtesy. And I'll be honest; if you're looking to enter into a division with an impact, there are certainly worse ways to try. But here's the problem for Stevie now...
[
Gordito turns towards the camera again.]
You've disrespected Mayhem, Stevie. You've disrespected Mayhem, and that means you've disrespected me! You want that belt? You get in line with the rest of us! You earn it! You should have entered the match, and beat the hell out of me, Baez, and everyone else in that ring. Sucker punch me off of a ladder after hitting the lights? You've been here longer than I have, and you claim to be a well educated person, so surely you know by now the everything has repercussions.
Maybe he believes he can handle you, Gordito? Dr. Kurtesy is a pretty seasoned veteran in WZCW, and if I remember correctly, you lost your match before Apocalypse.
[
Gordito turns back towards
Leon to cut him off.]
I lost in a brilliant display of Mayhem at it's finest to Baez, the Champion, and I remember that it was an inspiration to many. But you're right Leon, The Dirty Train needs some momentum. It's a good thing I get both Stevie and Doug Crashin come Meltdown. And I'm not fighting alone. Oh no, baby, it's The Dirty One Gordito and Baez, The Killjoy, making tag team history! Come Meltdown, I'm spiking the bottle of Kickassery, baby. The Dream Team of Destruction! No DQ, no disqualification, just Mayhem! And our friend Stevie...
And our fri...I-I mean, and Doug Crashin! The Crash-Klinic paired up once again.
And if anyone else tries to make a surprise appearance, they get their ass stamped suspended. HA! I love it.
Still, The Crash-Klinic is no laughing matter. They were contenders for the WZCW Tag Team Titles.
And they're broken now. This isn't some well publicized reunion? Where are they now, Leon? One's a promotion wide joke, and the other's too cowardly to show his face around here until he has to. I'll be surprised if Stevie even shows up for Meltdown. And Doug? Doug Crashin could be a great! Doug Crashin could be a champion! But what is he instead? A punchline, a speed bump, a...
[The van honks again.
Gordito turns quickly to yell at them while
Leon shirks away again in surprise.]
Hold on a minute, assholes!
[
Gordito turns back towards
Leon.]
Where was I? Oh yeah, that's right...
[
Gordito turns towards the camera.]
Doug Crashin, you can't stop the Dirty Train! You and Stevie? You've never faced a force this violent before! We're talking wanton destruction out there, boys! I've taken my share of punishment and more in my lifetime; what's the worst you could bring? You think I'm mad? How do you think Baez is feeling right now?! If anyone is looking forward to this match more than I am, it's him baby!
[
Leon turns to speak to the camera, and
Gordito turns to watch him.]
Once again viewers, on the next Meltdown Dr. Steven Kurtesy and Doug Crashin will face Baez and Gordito in a no disqualification tag match and Chuck Myles has decreed that anyone outside of the match who tries to interfere will face suspension!
That's right, Leon! Just the four of us, we don't need anyone else for the party! Everything else is legal. Including dropping the Meteor of War and putting someone through a table or two!
[
Gordito turns back towards the camera.]
Doug, Stevie, you want to prove me wrong? You want to show you have some character, that you have some real passion? Show me out there at Meltdown! Leave your nonsense and your failed pasts behind you, get out there, and just try and kick my ass. And make sure you've saved some for Baez, Mayhem Champion! Prove me wrong in the that ring, boys!
[The van honks one more time.]
WZCW, this is the Dirty Train departing for the evening! I'd like to remind you all to have fun & go crazy, and I'll see you on Meltdown! Adios amigos!
[
Gordito tosses his mic towards
Leon, and then turns to quickly enter the van, shouting to
Leon as he does.]
Thanks Leon, I'll catch you again soon.
[The sliding slide door opens, and
Gordito takes his seat in the middle aisle. The van quickly leaves before the door is closed completely. Then the scene fades out to static again as
Leon walks away.]