From the camera facing left in the front passenger seat of an automobile, Leon Kensworth is seen with an anxious look on his face as he sits behind the wheel in the dead of night. He’s only visible because of the light inside the car. The way he’s handling the wheel gives the impression that he’s weaving in and out of traffic. The view out of the window on his side of the car reinforces this assumption and the rate at which he’s passing cars indicates that he’s on a high-speed expressway. He begins honking his horn frantically as he starts to pull up beside a dark red Chevrolet Astro cargo van. He rolls his window down when the driver of the Chevy notices him.
Kensworth motions off camera, somewhere behind the right side of the camera facing him.
Leon Kensworth: GET OFF AT THE EXIT AND PULL OVER!
GET OFF AT THE --
Kensworth stops shouting as the Astro pulls ahead and cuts past him in order to make the exit. Kensworth, now somewhat relieved that the driver of the Astro is responding to his instructions, tails him without a word to the cameraman.
As both cars get off the exit ramp, the Astro leads them across the street into the well-lit but empty parking lot of a Wal-Mart. The Astro parks to the right of a street light and Kensworth parks to the right of the van.
Kensworth exists the ca and the cameraman does the same to follow Kensworth, walking around the back to catch up with the WZCW interview personality. As he does, the camera catches enough of the car which Kensworth just got out of to reveal to any avid car buff that it’s a white 1993 Ford Taurus. Kensworth continues past the back of the van. As the camera follows, it’s lowered to catch a bumper-sticker on the van. In black text on a white backdrop, it reads “If This Van’s Rockin’, I’m Butchering a Wild Animal Carcass.”
The camera follows Kensworth around to the driver’s side of the van, as the door opens and Hunter Kravinoff steps out. Kravinoff closes the door and steps towards Kensworth with a smile on his face.
Hunter Kravinoff: LEON! Finally decided to show up and interview me, have you?
Leon Kensworth: Look, you knew it was going to be a hassle for me to make it to the meeting place on time. Would it really have been asking too much for you to wait an extra few minutes for me to show up?
Hunter Kravinoff: Coming from the representative of a company that so clearly doesn’t respect me, yes. It would have been asking too much. I’m not going to wait around foolishly to be mistreated again by you and your colleagues.
Kravinoff grins as Kensworth looks perplexed.
Leon Kensworth: What are you talking about? How has WZCW mistreated you?
Hunter Kravinoff: Get off it Kensworth.
Kravinoff pokes Kensworth a few times with his right index finger.
Hunter Kravinoff: I’m on to you.
Leon Kensworth: Excuse me for saying so, but you sound rather paranoid.
The grin vanishes from Kravinoff’s face to be replaced by a look that clearly shows he’s just agitated by Kensworth’s remarks.
Leon Kensworth: Sorry, but I’m just calling it like I see it.
Hunter Kravinoff: As am I. If you opened your eyes, you’d see it too.
Leon Kensworth: See what?
Hunter Kravinoff: You’d see that on WZCW.com’s Meltdown preview, someone within your organization says I’ve been in Europe for the last few months. EUROPE. What is it? Am I not significant enough for them to bother fact checking stories regarding me? I know I did an interview with you prior to Redemption where I say nothing about Europe. Did the people in your organization even watch the interview?
Leon Kensworth: It was a busy night with Redemption airing. I’m sure nobody overlooked you on purpose while preparing the Meltdown preview.
Hunter Kravinoff: Yet nobody went out of their way to promote the exclusive pre-Redemption interview with me with a major splash on WZCW.com. I’m sure you’ll tell me it’s an oversight, but it can’t be excused. How am I supposed to be intimate with my fans if you aren’t going to give me the proper outlet to do so?
Leon Kensworth: Fine. I’ll see if I can do anything about that, okay?
Hunter Kravinoff: That’s all I wanted to hear.
Leon Kensworth: In the meantime, I’m here with a camera. If you want to speak directly to the people, now’s your time.
The look of agitation melts away from Kravinoff’s face as he calmly considers the opportunity presented to him by Kensworth.
Hunter Kravinoff: Well, over the last few days, I’ve been trying to cut out the middle man. I simply don’t trust WZCW to do me justice, so I’ve been heading out in my van and going to WZCW stars’ autograph signings to chat with some of the fans face-to-face. I’m trying to give them a real taste of Kravinoff and make sure they know who I am.
Leon Kensworth: How’s that been working out for you?
Hunter Kravinoff: Not well. Nobody watches the pay per view preview shows, so I have to go blue in the face explaining who I am to people and where I’ve been. And then it turns out nobody believes in me, my abilities, my killer instincts, or my thirst for pain. So it’s all been for naught. People are so disillusioned about me that they won’t even step into my van for a close, personal chat. They seemed frightened by me. Especially parents with small children.
Kensworth takes and uneasy glance at the camera, which confuses Kravinoff.
Hunter Kravinoff: We’re talking. Why are you looking at him?
Leon Kensworth: Just making sure the red light is on. We might need this for a court case or something down the road.
Hunter Kravinoff: I wouldn’t be too worried about that.
Leon Kensworth: Why’s that?
Hunter Kravinoff: Because I operate within the laws of your jungle, if only to be a good sport. It’s why I’m satisfying my bloodlust for humanity in WZCW.
Leon Kensworth: The intricacy of this farce you’re trying to pull off never ceases to amaze me.
Hunter Kravinoff: Call it a farce while you still can, Leon. Your window to belittle me and my accomplishments closes on Meltdown.
Leon Kensworth: I was hoping we’d get around to discussing Meltdown. What are your thoughts on your opponent, John Smith?
Hunter Kravinoff: John Smith is poison to himself. He’s a sobbing disgrace to combat, to the hunt, and to WZCW. I’m half certain he’ll show up for our match with blood alcohol level that would make Janis Joplin jealous, especially after what went down at Redemption. Have you seen the outcry from the fans regarding his involvement in the Mayhem title picture? They’re disgusted. They were robbed of a proper decision, all because of this man. If a few losses can expose how unstable he is, I can only imagine the self-destructive marathon he’s been since finding himself on the receiving end of such wholesale rejection.
Leon Kensworth: Harsh words. Are you sure you want to make a man of Smith’s size and strength angry right before he’s due to lock horns with you?
Kravinoff chuckles to himself and continues prattling on eagerly.
Hunter Kravinoff: Smith’s a heavy hitter. But he only hits hard by the standards of other humans. I hit hard by the standard of any living creature on this planet. Do you really think I’m not used to dealing with beings that thought themselves to be alpha dogs? Think again. I’ve dealt with the toughest predators Mother Nature has to offer at their best and come out on top. Heck, I’ve taken on Sasquatch. Not only that, I AM SASQUATCH! Can Smith really contend with that?
Kensworth looks to be taken aback by what he just heard.
Leon Kensworth: Did you just say you’re Sasquatch?
Hunter Kravinoff: You heard me.
Leon Kensworth: Okay, more than enough people are having trouble believing your crazy stories, Tarzan. Do you really need to add more fuel to the fire?
Hunter Kravinoff: Why should I be ashamed of the truth I bring? People may not believe me now, but they’ll see the light. When Smith feels my world class strikes and submissions, he’ll know. And in a few months, when he no longer has to breathe through a tube and he’s released from traction, he’ll spread the word. I’m the genuine article, and an example will be set with this supposed “bully.”
Kensworth exhales noisily out of frustration.
Leon Kensworth: Fine, whatever you say. When did you become Sasquatch?
Hunter Kravinoff: A few years ago, just as I was coming into contract with civilized human society, on the outskirts of a town in central Canada, he confronted me. He tried to mark his territory. Like a bully. Sufficient to say, I wouldn’t stand for that. I choked him out and then finished him on the side of the road by thrusting his head repeatedly into asphalt. From there, it was a simply matter of cleaning out his carcass and climbing in. From that point forward, I made my first, brief contact with society in the form of Sasquatch sightings.
Leon Kensworth: For the record, you aren’t allowed to clean out carcasses in WZCW. I think it’s against regulations.
Hunter Kravinoff: That’s okay. There are other ways to instil belief in the WZCW audience. You’ll see them on display at Meltdown. After that, Smith will have more than the Mayhem Championship to worry about. After Meltdown, he’s going to have to think about his long term health. He might just make every hour from then on a Happy Hour in order to quell the pain. That is, if I let him get away that easily. If I choose not to make this match John Smith’s last call.
Leon Kensworth: Can’t you think of any other way to make an impression on the fans of WZCW? A way that’s less... over the line?
Hunter Kravinoff: Yes, actually. And you can help me with that.
Leon Kensworth: What do you need?
Hunter Kravinoff: Well, remember my one televised match in WZCW?
Leon Kensworth: Sure. What about it?
Hunter Kravinoff: I’d like you to use the best footage of my offensive moves in that match, play it in sync with some bad-ass rock music, and play a few of my most menacing sound bites in the background. What do you think?
Kensworth raises his eyebrows and stares in a critical manner for a moment or two.
Leon Kensworth: I can’t do it. I don’t have the authority to mobilize the manpower in our production department, I can’t rationally justify the use of that manpower on you to my superiors, it’ll be completely transparent to the fans because you’ve only had one televised match, and I won’t be able to find proper sound bites.
Hunter Kravinoff: I’ve given a few interviews for WZCW. In all that footage, you can’t find any usable sound bites?
Leon Kensworth: It’s not a knock against you. I’m sure over time, you’ll bang a few out organically. But the fact is, some people speak in sound bites and people take more time to get their point across. It’s an art to do the former. I’m sorry.
Hunter Kravinoff: When you step into the jungle with me, I will mark my territory.
Kensworth’s eyes grow narrow and suspicious.
Leon Kensworth: What?
Hunter Kravinoff: Hunter Kravinoff will make you extinct.
Leon Kensworth: You better not be doing what I think you are...
Hunter Kravinoff: I will hang you from tree to remind others of my superiority over all living things.
Kensworth turns to the cameraman and pushes the camera down.
Leon Kensworth: He’s speaking in sound bites. We’re done. Turn it off.
The screen fades to black with the word “STOP” in striking white at the top right of the shot.
