MD35 - Doug Crashin vs. Heavy Artillery

[Phoenix]

Three men with a poor run of luck despite tremendous effort, do battle. Originally scheduled to be a tag match, but Doug Crashin wants to prove a point to the WZCW locker room, as do Heavy Artillery. Who will gain the bragging rights out of this encounter?

Deadline is Monday 18th January, 23:59 EST

 

[The Doctor]

The scene opens to a closeup of a quarter flipping in the air. It falls off the screen briefly, only to be launched into the air again. The camera follows it on its way down, revealing a gloved hand that catches the quarter before flipping it into the air once more. Slowly, the camera zooms out to reveal Max Karzai sitting in a chair in the living room of his house. The large bay windows behind him cast him into silhouette, making it hard to discern his features. The effect is unsettling. As he catches the quarter again, he pauses for a second, smiles, and begins to speak, flipping the coin the whole time.

Karzai: It’s a funny thing, money. With money, the poor can become nobility, the ugly can become beautiful, and your everyday Joe can become a celebrity. Wars have been waged over it, people scream and climb over each other for it, some people hoard it, lie for it, spy for it, kill for it, die for it. And there are some people…who love it.

Karzai stands up, throwing his face into sharp relief but leaving the rest of his body in shadow. The camera locks onto his face, with the quarter coming in and out of the frame and he continues his endless game of flip-and-catch.

Karzai: I’m no stranger to the love of money. Some people have described me as the classic rags-to-riches story. Nondescript kid, using music to rise through the ranks and become a star. And through the whole thing, I have seen what happens to people who love money. I have seen my friends and colleagues metamorphose into monsters and slime balls, because they’ve gotten their hands on a little bit of money. I made a vow never to end up like that. Never to end up like them.

The camera zooms out as Karzai steps into the light. He withdraws his wallet from his pocket and begins thumbing through it, eventually drawing out three one-dollar bills.

Karzai: Doug Crashin, you represent the worst of those money-loving assholes. You were born into a wealthy family. You don’t know what living in the poorhouse is like, to not know where your next meal is coming from. I do. Jordan does. You do not. You have never had to fight or struggle for your life, for the right to live another day. Everything you have had has been handed to you on a silver platter. Now, I’m not saying that training with the Japanese is a cakewalk, but you always had the money. And the fact that you are so well-off, and know it…it makes me sick.
You are so high on yourself, yet are the lowest of the low. You walk around flaunting your riches in peoples‘ faces. Do you think being rich makes you any less of an arrogant asshole? Do you think snapping at officials and throwing tantrums will do you any favors in life?

Karzai retrieves a lighter from his pocket, holding up one dollar with his other hand at the same time.

Karzai: Throughout time, men like you have walked the Earth, caring about nothing but themselves, only looking for the next way to make a buck. All through time, men like you have done nothing to help those lesser than you.

Karzai holds the lighter up to the first dollar bill, lighting it on fire. The flame dances up the dollar and towards Karzai‘s hand, burning and blackening the dollar.

Karzai: Crashin, this dollar represents what will be remembered of you when you leave this life. If you are lucky, you will be remembered as a waste of space, a waste of time, an asshole who did nothing to contribute to this world. That is, if you are remembered at all.

Karzai drops the flaming dollar, now a twisted and curled scrap, into a plate on the table where it continues to burn. He holds the second dollar up to the first, where it too catches on fire. After a few seconds, Karzai drops it onto the plate where it burns.

Karzai: This dollar represents your chances against myself and Jordan. We have been facing challenges our whole lives, and have faced tough challenges in WZCW. We took Second Coming and Teach N Kurtesy to task, and though we may have come up short those times, we did not give up. We will not give up. Especially not to scum like you. You are nothing more than another brash blowhard, saying things instead of doing them. I am not afraid to do whatever it takes to win. Any tactics you pull on me, I can pull them better. Try to pull a hold out on me, and I will reverse it. I can be everywhere and nowhere. I will be there when fire makes you dance. I will give you a look to open up the skies. It’s time to put your money where your mouth is, Crashin, or else you will just be another one of the millions and millions to go up in smoke.

Karzai smiles, and places the last dollar onto the plate before stepping back into the shadows. The camera focuses on the flame as the scene slowly fades into black.

 

[Super Crazy]

The scene is an almost empty parking lot. Only one car remains, and from a distance, we can see a shadowy figure perched atop the roof of the car. As the cameras get closer, we can see that it is Jordan Lights, and he seems to be intently looking upon the moon, almost deep in thought, until he realizes the camera is there. Only then does he begin to talk.

Lights : Bad choices don't seem so bad do they? Well at least they don't seem so bad when we make them. That is until we look back, and we wonder why. Well I stopped wondering when I was 15 and began to hurt people. Understand that I wanted to care. I really did.

As Jordan says this he jumps down from the roof the car.

Lights : I really wanted to CARE!! ( As Jordan says this he punches the door on the car. ) But I've done and seen so much in young life. I've hurt not just opponents, but family, and friends. But caring is a luxury I can no longer afford. If I cared, I would not have left home when my mother turned her back on me. If I had cared, I would have stayed by her side til the day that she died. I would not have secluded myself from everyone I know, hurting the ones I love.

Jordan rubs his head, almost as if he is questioning his own thoughts and what he is about to do.

Lights : Understand, there is no salvation for me, the things I've done in life, there is no righteous path to follow. I know who, and what I am. What I've done, I work hard to be forgiven, yet I know, I feel, there is no forgiveness in life.

Jordan goes to the front of the car. and kicks in the headlights.

Lights : I live a life without a illusions, without lies, when those are the only things that can comfort us all. There is no icing on the cake, nothing good coming from what I've done. I've brought pain to those around me in the past. However, I am a changed man, however, there are people who still try to hold me down, try to stop me from being successful.

Jordan now goes into his bag, and picks up a sledgehammer. He begins bashing in all the windows on the car as he continues to talk.

Lights : And that, that brings me to you, Doug Crashin, and the hunger inside of you. You see, I too am hungry, but for something different then you. You are hungry for your next big pay off, you could care less about how you get it, as long as it's got at least 6 digits to the left of the decimal you are happy with it I'm going to tell you something right now, I've never been handed anything in my life. Every single thing I've earned, everything from the money I've made, to the respect of others. I've got no respect for someone such as your self. I saw what you were a part of last week. I won't let that happen, at least not to me or my tag team partner. You want to make an impact? I'll show you an impact.

As Jordan says this, he begins breaking all of the rims off of the car.

Lights : See, Crashin, you are nothing but a rich and cocky prick whose probably been handed EVERYTHING in life. I've been handed nothing, and I cetainly don't need millions of dollars to help me get by in life.

Jordan goes into his bag and pulls out a gas can and begins pouring it over the car.

Lights : And I certainly don't need anything materialistic in my life. You want to make an impact, meet my partner and I at Meltdown, and we'll see who is truly ready to make an impact.

As Lights finishes his statement he lights a match and tosses it as the car goes up in flames as Jordan begins to walk away and the camera fades out.

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

We find ourselves outside Doug’s penthouse apartment building where we see Doug who is wearing an orange tuxedo with top hat. We can see him pacing around and looking at his Rolex

Doug *to himself*: *sigh* come on Jay where are ya!

We see a hot orange Lamborghini pull up in the empty spot in front of the building. The passenger side door opens and Doug gets in the car as it drives off. Inside the Lambo are all the standard features and a few custom options built just for Doug. Carbon Leather bucket seats, Leather steering wheel and a Kenwood touch screen head unit that receives satellite radio as well as HD radio and terrestrial radio with iPod hookup and Bluetooth/hands free.

Doug: what took you so long Jay? I’ve been standing out here for 15 minutes in the freezing cold!

Jason: sorry Mr. Crashin. You know how New York is.

Doug: No I don’t. My private parking garage is three blocks away.

Jason: regardless sir did you really have to pick this car? I can barely get inside the gull wings.

Doug: we’re going to one of the top rated clubs here in the city. I have to drive in style.

Jason: you know you have a Mercedes–Benz G-Class SUV that I can actually get into.

Doug: I know but that doesn’t make a statement. You know how I love making statements. Oh look there’s a spot.

Jay: I can see that.

They pull into the spot which is 4 cars away from the restaurant and we can see a big line accumulating by the window of the club.

Doug: I should have known there gonna be a huge line. Wait here Jay I’ll talk to the bouncer…. Or bouncers if you will.

Doug walks over to the bouncers and starts whispering to them and they open the door.

Doug: come on Jay or they’re gonna close it on ya!

Jason runs towards the door as Doug slips a 100 dollar bill in the pockets of the bouncers as they block the door and give dirty looks to Jason who in turn gives one back. The club itself holds a few stripper poles, a DJ booth, a stage, and a Coyote Ugly style bar. Basically what you would find in a New York City Dance hall.

Doug: this is great Jay. We own this building for the next couple of hours….. oh crap.

Jay: what?

Doug: bangers.

Jay: bangers sir?

Doug: did I stutter? There are 4 of them sitting at that table in the corner. I hope to god they don’t notice us. Don’t look.

Jay glances over and they get up.

Doug: oh crap they noticed us. Back away slowly.

Jay: why? I’m 7 foot and you’re a martial arts expert.

Doug: They got guns you idiot! I love a good fight more than anybody but I’m not gonna pick a fight with bangers who have guns! Let’s get out of here!

They run outside to the Lamborghini and speed off back to Doug’s apartment building.

Doug: well that was a waste of time. Ugh. I should have known that place was a banger hangout. I’ll be up in the apartment. Go park the car.

Jay facepalms and sighs as Doug gets out of the car. He notices the camera and straitens up his tux.

Doug: I hope you didn’t film that meh oh well. Let’s get this over with shall we? INSIDE!

The doorman opens up the door to reveal a Holiday Inn style lobby room with a security kiosk as Doug enters the building.

Doug: they’re with me.

He motions to the cameramen and the guard nods. Doug then turns to the camera.

Doug: well now this is interesting. I’m in a handicap match against a tag team who obviously knows little about who I am and what I’ve accomplished. Let me tell you a little story. It’s a story about a man who was 18 years old at the time. He was a child of wealthy Wall Street bankers who really did nothing to care for him. One day they took a trip to Japan. You see I was very interested in professional wrestling as a child. My parents took me to a show in the Tokyo Dome. I loved it so much that I told my parents that I wanted to train to be a professional wrestler. Do you know what they did? THEY DISOWNED ME! No child of theirs was going to stain their honor by being a professional wrestler. They hated Professional wrestling and only took me to that event so I wouldn’t shut up about it.

They left me with only the clothes on my back and told me to stay here in Japan. And so I did. After 1 year of living on the streets in Tokyo, a humble Karate master took me in. it only took me 2 years to gain black belt and it was under the harshest of conditions. After telling me he could no longer teach me I told him my true purpose. He told me of a dojo that would train me in professional wrestling. I was the only foreigner in the dojo and was scrutinized for it. The training regimen was so tough I broke my ankles the 3rd day of training. What did I do? I wanted to prove to them that the only Gaijin wanted to be a professional wrestler. So I came in the next day with Ankle tape and started hitting the mat. I gained much respect from the veteran trainers so much that they decided to bring me to the top promotion in the land. At the age of 25 I became the promotions first Gaijin to win its prestigious world heavyweight title. I was then treated like a God amongst men. At the age of 30 I was considered the best Japan has to offer. At the age of 35 with nothing left to prove to my parents. I decided to move back to America to wrestle. That’s where my story ends. I hope you liked it because I am not telling it again.

Doug ponders for a moment and continues.

Doug: you think I don’t know what you said about me Karzai? That I don’t know what living in the poor house is like? Imagine living in the streets of Tokyo with Yakuza running amok. Imagine, trying sneak around at night and taking what food you can without being noticed by said Yakuza. You wanna try that again Karzai? No? Good. And Jordan you’re the same thing. What gives you two the right to judge me?

Doug scratches his chin and continues.

Doug: I had to work for everything I have! EVERYTHING! I EARNED the right to be cocky and arrogant. I’m enjoying my life while you two are sulking and thinking to yourselves. What would it take to be like Doug Crashin. Come Meltdown when all is said and done you WILL respect Mr. Incredible. And THAT! IS A FACT!

The scene fades to black