MD100: Barbosa (c) vs. Ricky Runn - WZCW Championship Swag City Street Fight
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doesn't know REAL wrestling...
*Inside Screen 4 of a Multi-Cineplex World, a crowd are currently engrossed in the latest rom-com outing to be inflicted on the public in time for Valentine's Day.
From amongst a sea of the backs of heads, one rises up from its seated position and leans in to whisper to its neighbour.*
???: Sorry, I just have to nip out
*This escapee then quickly shuffles his way past the other watching heads and up the aisle towards the exit.
It is Barbosa.
He walks down the connecting corridor and out into the lobby of the cinema.
Suddenly, his head snaps back and forward as if he is confused about where he is.*
Barbosa: It happened again!
Barbosa: This is becoming increasingly worrying. The frequency and, judging by the darkness outside, length of our blackouts have increased. And yet we do not seem to be doing anything troublesome during these blackouts; nothing rash or ridiculous.
Barbosa: How do we know where we have been going and what we have been doing?
*Barbosa reaches into his pocket and removes his mobile phone.*
Barbosa: There is a "Barbosa Locator App" now? SHIT will be pleased.
Barbosa: Receipts and check-ins.
Barbosa: We use social media? We are full of surprises these days
*Barbosa scrolls through his phone, looking for evidence of his recent whereabouts.*
Barbosa: A receipt at a supermarket, a check-in at a coffee shop, reservations for a cinema and a restaurant If we had to sum up our actions during these blackouts in one word it would be "mundane."
Barbosa: Sounds like we were going on a date What did we buy at the supermarket? Flowers, chocolates? Did we get a wishful thinking packet of condoms while we were at it?
Barbosa: Is Mondayne not good? We weren't doing anything silly or dangerous?
Barbosa: Wait a minute there is something problematic Look at the name of the coffee shop we checked-in at Cups and Rings that is the same place we frequented in Florida
Barbosa: And yet Meltdown 100 is supposed to be in Los Angeles.
*Barbosa quickly flicks through the other receipts, reservations and check-ins recorded on the apps on his phone, coming to the inevitable conclusion of where Multi-Cineplex World is located as well *
Barbosa: We are on the other side of the country with just a day before Meltdown 100
Barbosa: That is most definitely a problem.
Barbosa: And there is another...
Barbosa: There always is.
Barbosa: Richard Runn.
*Barbosa throws his hands up, almost throwing his phone across the lobby floor. *
Barbosa: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Aside from getting him to stop Running, Ricky is not a problem. Nothing more than a thieving fly buzzing around our head, clearly inferior but able to stay out of our reach through nothing but sheer good fortune.
But eventually his luck will turn and we will swat him aside; leave him sprawled on his back and then stomp him out of existence.
And the same goes for his hive of misfits who will no doubt rare their ugly heads
Even this monstrosity of a match honestly, how many stupid matches do we end up in?... but even it will not stop us!
*Barbosa puts his hands out in front of him miming the flight of several flies *
Barbosa: BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!
* before then slamming his fist into the pal of his other hand.*
Barbosa: SPLAT!
Barbosa: Indeed, that is a satisfactory tableau vivant of what we plan to do to Richard Runn and his allies in our latest attempt to reclaim possession of our WZCW title belt.
Barbosa: Yeah! We must get the Big Shiny back!
Barbosa: Then why is he a problem?
Barbosa: It is only a plan.
Barbosa: Our plans usually work perfectly.
Barbosa: Did we plan to be on the other side of the country 24 hours before Meltdown 100?
Barbosa: Er no. Of course not.
Barbosa: So what if we suffer another mundane blackout in the middle of attempting to regain possession of our world title belt and those plans go out the proverbial window?
*Barbosa stops to think about this possibility, coming to an uncomfortable revelation.*
Barbosa: Someone who goes on a date with coffee, condoms and popcorn could be a worse wrestler than Ricky Runn!
Barbosa: NO! That is not possible! The universe would implode at the presence of such a useless individual!
Barbosa: It is not being worse than Richard Runn that is strictly the problem but should we fall into the mundane during the match, we could very well not have the physical and mental firepower to see off the inevitable interference of Richard's allies and of any number of others.
Whilst it may seem like a positive that our mundane self is not doing anything rash or ridiculous
Barbosa: Going on a date is not ridiculous?!? God, we hope we did not end up seeing some vomit-inducing romantic comedy
Barbosa: Hey! Zac Efron is a comic genius with a tender heart!
Barbosa: it would seem to highlight that we are not influencing our own actions during these blackouts. Nothing rash would seem to preclude that part of ourselves complete with the athletic training and viciousness. Nothing ridiculous removes the creativity and pleasant manipulativeness and the absence of both these composite facets suggests that the ruthless strategising will also be missing.
Barbosa: That is not good
Barbosa: We'll be a sitting Duck Taliban!
Barbosa: We will have time to think about this on the flight to Los Angeles.
If we do not black out again
*A silence falls over Barbosa as he hangs his head and restarts his walk to the exit.*
Barbosa: Hold on a second, why exactly did we come here? Across to the other side of the country?
*As Barbosa once again scans his phone, he meanders around a corner, closer to the exit. However, before he can leave or tabulate his latest cellular research, his musings are briefly interrupted by a female shouting in the lobby.*
???: Sebastian?
*Without looking back around the corner, Barbosa ignores the shout.*
Barbosa: Flowers and chocolates in the supermarket, just a check-in at the coffee shop and reservations for two at both the restaurant and the cinema
We were on a date!
???: SEBASTIAN?!?
*This time Barbosa looks back around the corner to see a female scanning the lobby looking for something or someone but without setting eyes on her target.
However, this was not just any jilted female but one of the coffee shop servers from Cups and Rings who had been so surprised at his amenable reaction to being knocked into by a pain in the ass businessman.*
Barbosa: Shit! We stand corrected: we are still on a date!
Barbosa: Where? Is Poo here?
Barbosa: We have to get out of here and get to the airport before she sees us!
Barbosa: Wait, Poo is a she?
Barbosa: SHUT UP!
*With that, Barbosa high-tails it out the door and into the street. However, his escape is interrupted once more, this time by the chirping of his mobile phone that is still in his hand.*
Barbosa: Well, at least the mundane us did not change our ringtone to a bland ring or worse, some horrific pop song
Barbosa: Hey! Katy Perry is a genius!
*Instead of answering immediately, Barbosa looks at the screen to see who is calling.*
Barbosa: Britney? Who the hell is Britney and why does she have our number? And why are there two 'kisses' after her name?
*Barbosa quickly hangs his head, realising he knows the answer to his own question. Or least most of him does.*
Barbosa: Wait, who is Britney?
Barbosa: The girl in the lobby shouting for "Sebastian."
Barbosa: Aw, that is a nice name! But who is Sebastian?
*A deep sigh of exasperation, irritation and growing rage escapes Barbosa before he manages to give his trademark expression that somehow seems like he is staring at himself in frustration.
Part of him eventually gets it.*
Barbosa: Wait chocolates, flowers, restaurant, cinema, a girl called Britney? We are Sebastian?
Barbosa: Finally
*Barbosa seems to start giggling to himself.*
Barbosa: Sebastian and Britney sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G!
*Then as Barbosa continues to ignore the ringing phone, he begins to walk off again only for something to stop him.*
Barbosa: Where are we going?
Barbosa: To the airport.
Barbosa: But we cannot leave Britney. She seems like such a nice girl!
Barbosa: You will have to kiss her if we go back.
Barbosa: EWWWW! They have cooties!
*Barbosa is then able to continue his escape from the cinema and Britney's potential public meltdown when she met the real Barbosa.
Besides, he had another date to keep. Another meltdown to laud over.
And a championship to reclaim.*
From amongst a sea of the backs of heads, one rises up from its seated position and leans in to whisper to its neighbour.*
???: Sorry, I just have to nip out
*This escapee then quickly shuffles his way past the other watching heads and up the aisle towards the exit.
It is Barbosa.
He walks down the connecting corridor and out into the lobby of the cinema.
Suddenly, his head snaps back and forward as if he is confused about where he is.*
Barbosa: It happened again!
Barbosa: This is becoming increasingly worrying. The frequency and, judging by the darkness outside, length of our blackouts have increased. And yet we do not seem to be doing anything troublesome during these blackouts; nothing rash or ridiculous.
Barbosa: How do we know where we have been going and what we have been doing?
*Barbosa reaches into his pocket and removes his mobile phone.*
Barbosa: There is a "Barbosa Locator App" now? SHIT will be pleased.
Barbosa: Receipts and check-ins.
Barbosa: We use social media? We are full of surprises these days
*Barbosa scrolls through his phone, looking for evidence of his recent whereabouts.*
Barbosa: A receipt at a supermarket, a check-in at a coffee shop, reservations for a cinema and a restaurant If we had to sum up our actions during these blackouts in one word it would be "mundane."
Barbosa: Sounds like we were going on a date What did we buy at the supermarket? Flowers, chocolates? Did we get a wishful thinking packet of condoms while we were at it?
Barbosa: Is Mondayne not good? We weren't doing anything silly or dangerous?
Barbosa: Wait a minute there is something problematic Look at the name of the coffee shop we checked-in at Cups and Rings that is the same place we frequented in Florida
Barbosa: And yet Meltdown 100 is supposed to be in Los Angeles.
*Barbosa quickly flicks through the other receipts, reservations and check-ins recorded on the apps on his phone, coming to the inevitable conclusion of where Multi-Cineplex World is located as well *
Barbosa: We are on the other side of the country with just a day before Meltdown 100
Barbosa: That is most definitely a problem.
Barbosa: And there is another...
Barbosa: There always is.
Barbosa: Richard Runn.
*Barbosa throws his hands up, almost throwing his phone across the lobby floor. *
Barbosa: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Aside from getting him to stop Running, Ricky is not a problem. Nothing more than a thieving fly buzzing around our head, clearly inferior but able to stay out of our reach through nothing but sheer good fortune.
But eventually his luck will turn and we will swat him aside; leave him sprawled on his back and then stomp him out of existence.
And the same goes for his hive of misfits who will no doubt rare their ugly heads
Even this monstrosity of a match honestly, how many stupid matches do we end up in?... but even it will not stop us!
*Barbosa puts his hands out in front of him miming the flight of several flies *
Barbosa: BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!
* before then slamming his fist into the pal of his other hand.*
Barbosa: SPLAT!
Barbosa: Indeed, that is a satisfactory tableau vivant of what we plan to do to Richard Runn and his allies in our latest attempt to reclaim possession of our WZCW title belt.
Barbosa: Yeah! We must get the Big Shiny back!
Barbosa: Then why is he a problem?
Barbosa: It is only a plan.
Barbosa: Our plans usually work perfectly.
Barbosa: Did we plan to be on the other side of the country 24 hours before Meltdown 100?
Barbosa: Er no. Of course not.
Barbosa: So what if we suffer another mundane blackout in the middle of attempting to regain possession of our world title belt and those plans go out the proverbial window?
*Barbosa stops to think about this possibility, coming to an uncomfortable revelation.*
Barbosa: Someone who goes on a date with coffee, condoms and popcorn could be a worse wrestler than Ricky Runn!
Barbosa: NO! That is not possible! The universe would implode at the presence of such a useless individual!
Barbosa: It is not being worse than Richard Runn that is strictly the problem but should we fall into the mundane during the match, we could very well not have the physical and mental firepower to see off the inevitable interference of Richard's allies and of any number of others.
Whilst it may seem like a positive that our mundane self is not doing anything rash or ridiculous
Barbosa: Going on a date is not ridiculous?!? God, we hope we did not end up seeing some vomit-inducing romantic comedy
Barbosa: Hey! Zac Efron is a comic genius with a tender heart!
Barbosa: it would seem to highlight that we are not influencing our own actions during these blackouts. Nothing rash would seem to preclude that part of ourselves complete with the athletic training and viciousness. Nothing ridiculous removes the creativity and pleasant manipulativeness and the absence of both these composite facets suggests that the ruthless strategising will also be missing.
Barbosa: That is not good
Barbosa: We'll be a sitting Duck Taliban!
Barbosa: We will have time to think about this on the flight to Los Angeles.
If we do not black out again
*A silence falls over Barbosa as he hangs his head and restarts his walk to the exit.*
Barbosa: Hold on a second, why exactly did we come here? Across to the other side of the country?
*As Barbosa once again scans his phone, he meanders around a corner, closer to the exit. However, before he can leave or tabulate his latest cellular research, his musings are briefly interrupted by a female shouting in the lobby.*
???: Sebastian?
*Without looking back around the corner, Barbosa ignores the shout.*
Barbosa: Flowers and chocolates in the supermarket, just a check-in at the coffee shop and reservations for two at both the restaurant and the cinema
We were on a date!
???: SEBASTIAN?!?
*This time Barbosa looks back around the corner to see a female scanning the lobby looking for something or someone but without setting eyes on her target.
However, this was not just any jilted female but one of the coffee shop servers from Cups and Rings who had been so surprised at his amenable reaction to being knocked into by a pain in the ass businessman.*
Barbosa: Shit! We stand corrected: we are still on a date!
Barbosa: Where? Is Poo here?
Barbosa: We have to get out of here and get to the airport before she sees us!
Barbosa: Wait, Poo is a she?
Barbosa: SHUT UP!
*With that, Barbosa high-tails it out the door and into the street. However, his escape is interrupted once more, this time by the chirping of his mobile phone that is still in his hand.*
Barbosa: Well, at least the mundane us did not change our ringtone to a bland ring or worse, some horrific pop song
Barbosa: Hey! Katy Perry is a genius!
*Instead of answering immediately, Barbosa looks at the screen to see who is calling.*
Barbosa: Britney? Who the hell is Britney and why does she have our number? And why are there two 'kisses' after her name?
*Barbosa quickly hangs his head, realising he knows the answer to his own question. Or least most of him does.*
Barbosa: Wait, who is Britney?
Barbosa: The girl in the lobby shouting for "Sebastian."
Barbosa: Aw, that is a nice name! But who is Sebastian?
*A deep sigh of exasperation, irritation and growing rage escapes Barbosa before he manages to give his trademark expression that somehow seems like he is staring at himself in frustration.
Part of him eventually gets it.*
Barbosa: Wait chocolates, flowers, restaurant, cinema, a girl called Britney? We are Sebastian?
Barbosa: Finally
*Barbosa seems to start giggling to himself.*
Barbosa: Sebastian and Britney sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G!
*Then as Barbosa continues to ignore the ringing phone, he begins to walk off again only for something to stop him.*
Barbosa: Where are we going?
Barbosa: To the airport.
Barbosa: But we cannot leave Britney. She seems like such a nice girl!
Barbosa: You will have to kiss her if we go back.
Barbosa: EWWWW! They have cooties!
*Barbosa is then able to continue his escape from the cinema and Britney's potential public meltdown when she met the real Barbosa.
Besides, he had another date to keep. Another meltdown to laud over.
And a championship to reclaim.*
"Brother jack dude, you have done well. Now you are at your last destination. May ultimate swag embrace you. Dude, jack man"
That was the last text Ricky had gotten from his phone once he arrived to a small village out near South Dakota. Looking at a sign Ricky read the sign indicating he was at a Native American reservation known as "Pine Ridge" While Ricky wanted to find Dude McManBro and get his title back, his phone began to rang. It was none other than the new owner of WZCW, Mr.Banks. Ricky let out a sigh and answered his phone.
Ricky:Yo
Banks seems annoyed at Ricky's answer, with a sigh of his own, Banks said sternly.
Banks: Ricky, I am starting to get impatient, where is the World Heavyweight Championship? You promised that you would have it by Meltdown 99 and yet no one has seen it. Now, I know you told me that you knew exactly where it is... if you are lying to me Mr.Runn you're not going to like what happens to employees of mine who lie to me. It's bad enough you steal the title, but
Ricky:Dawg, chill alright? I got that championship status. You know what, I actually got the championship on me, right now.
Banks:Okay then, if you do. Take a picture and send it to me, right now.
Ricky:Um, wait what?
Banks:You heard me, take a picture of yourself with the championship, right now.
Ricky looks around, trying to think of something to replace the belt. The currently most handsome man in South Dakota had to think on the spot. Taking his phone he took a picture of himself and sent it to Banks. After a few seconds, Banks got the picture.
Banks: Did... did you just send me a selfie?
Ricky:Normally I charge thirty bucks for those. So you're welcome.
Banks:You know I can fire you, right?
Ricky:YOLO SWAG NO FILTER!
Runn, being the brightest star in the universe hung up his phone and turned it off. It was for the best, Banks may be his boss but he was dragging on his style. Seemingly out of nowhere, Ricky spotted a large tent in the middle of town, the tent was covered in bedazzled jewels, and on the canvas had the bold letters "OBEY." An icon that everyone with swag can identify with. Ricky saw that as a sign, and walked towards the tent. Seeing as knocking on a tent was a daunting task, Ricky simply opened the tent and said with his elegant, provoking voice.
Ricky:Hey hey hey, anyone seen a Championship in here?
Though once Ricky entered the tent, the sight before him put him in awe. It was none other than SnoopDogg Lion, sitting next to him around a bonfire was DudeFace McManBro, and a Indian Chief wearing a large feather hat. The always composed and swagtastic, Ricky pointed at DudeFace and shouted.
Ricky:DudeFace! I'm done playing around, sure, it was fun playing basketball with Prince, and sure it was awesome beating up Barbosa whenever I got the chance to, but for the love of everything that is swag, I can't go to Meltdown 100 without the title! Hell if I lose you know what that does to me? Does to my reputation? That'll prove to all the haters they're right. You want that, yo? You want haters to be right?
Snoop Lion raises his hand at the Swagtastic voice of a generation. Stopping him in his tracks, with his signature voice he said to Ricky.
Snoop Lion:Yo yo yo, slow your roll roll roll. DudeFace is here chilling with us because he's on the same journey as you are, yo. It's not the destination, it's how you got there is what counts. Know what I'm saying?
DudeFace than stood up and said to the Swagtastic Swaggy Swagman, Ricky Runn.
DudeFace:Yo brother Jack dude, man. We have been watching, we've been watching ever since you've embraced swag. I gotta say dude, man bro. The form you were in for Redemption, that aura... that swagga, it was unreal. No one could match it, not Krypto, not Blade, and certainly not Beard. You're the fastest man in the world, and you proved that in beating Beard in record time. You unknowingly entered the Swag zone.
Ricky's eyebrow raised up and asked with a voice just as confused as his face led on.
Ricky:Um, what?
The Chief then stood up and held out his hands over the fire. His attire was what you would normally see from a Swaggin village chief. The feathers were bright, and bold and his eyes were covered with sunglasses. DudeFace pointed to the chief and said to Ricky.
DudeFace:I'll let him explain.
With a swift movement of his hand, the chief tossed some sand into the fire, causing it to spark and glow a vibrant blue.
Walks With Swag:I am Chief Walks with Swag, and I am... swag. While others, like yourself, Dudeface, and even the one called Snoop Lion have adopted Swag. I was raised at a young age to achieve peace within the swag zone. However, young Ricky, you were in that swag zone when you rushed that gold, and now you must achieve again if you wish to call this title your own.
In the blue fire, the World Heavyweight championship glowed brightly, Ricky was put into awe by what seemed like magic.
Ricky:Dude there's my title! Finally, I can go home!
Suddenly the fire snapped at Ricky, who was about to make an attempt to grab the title from the flames.
Walks With Swag:You fool! You can not simply grab the title without being in the Swag Zone
Ricky:Who needs the Swag Zone when you got swag? YOLO
Ricky would then reach for the title, only for the fire to bite his hand harshly. The bite sent Ricky gripping his hand in pain who then shouted.
Ricky:Oh hamburgers fire is hot!
The Chief looked down at the young man with an unimpressed look.
Walks With Swag:For a young man with so much potential, you still have so much to learn. You think everything is so simple, yet it is further from the truth. Much like your opponent, this fire, this title is so much more than what meets the eye.
Almost as quickly as the title appeared in the flames, the fire went from blue, back to the normal orange glow, along with the title vanishing from the flames. Ricky's eyes were opened wide, while the young man was exceptionally skilled at making others stare in awe of him, he was finally shocked, downright in awe of the man who Walked with Swag. Finally convinced Ricky said to the Chief.
Ricky:Oh my ninja... you know what? all of you guys have a point. DudeFace, Walks With Swag, and Snoop Dogg I gotta--
Snoop Lion:It's Snoop Lion
Snoop Lion cut Ricky off to interject that. While Ricky was too much into the current moment to let that small correction stop him.
Ricky Runn:Right, Snoop Lion. What I'm saying is, I am ready to learn, I am willing to do whatever it takes to become one with swag. To enter the swag zone, yo. Just tell me what to do, bro and it's done.
The Chief seemed to be impressed with what Ricky said. Walks with Swag than looked over to Snoop Lion and gave him a nod. Snoop accepted the nod and began to search through his bag.
Walks With Swag:My people have a tradition for the young men and women who are capable of entering the swag zone. It is dangerous, but if you are able to accomplish this ritual, you will see the world in a whole new reality. Your eyes will open for the first time and you will see your new, brighter world. That is why we must wear shades. The future is always bright when you are in the swag zone. Mr. Lion, prepare the swagote
Snoop Lion:One stepizzle ahead of yo dilzzle
With that being said, Snoop opened a small plastic case, in the middle of the container was what appeared to be peyote. Except unlike regular peyote, this particular cactus seemed to glow brightly, and the color of the outside was similar to the Seattle Seahawks uniform colors, blue and green.
Walks With Swag:You must consume the entire Swagote, and if you are able to survive the visions, and look beyond reality. You will be ready to face whatever may be in your future. It will give you the strength to fight the man with many faces, the body with too many souls. No amount of backup, and no amount prep in Swag City can have you ready to face such a beast. It is this, or nothing.
Ricky, despite the warnings from the chief, Ricky took the bright colored peyote into his hand, looking up at the group of people around him. and said to the group.
Ricky:I need to do this... I have to do this. I don't want to lose to Barbosa again, the mere thought that one of his multiple personalities cheering on as he reclaims that championship makes me sick. I need to prove to Barbosa I'm better than him, and I need to make all the haters doubt themselves. As a wise man once said, what's a ghoul to a goblin?
Ricky then chewed right into the peyote. It tasted unusually sweet, enjoying the taste Ricky quickly ate the entire thing. Ricky looking about the tent he said with a laugh.
Ricky:Ha man, this ain't nothing. The way you talked about this thing you made me think I--
Suddenly, Snoop Lion began to transform into an actual lion, meanwhile DudeFace transformed into one giant cloud of hair gel and sunglasses. The only one that seemed to resemble their original appearance was Walks With Swag. However even he underwent changes, his feet transformed into a blue cloud, and grew even larger. Ricky's pupils expanded to the strange sight. To the point where the glow of the fire began to burn Ricky's eyes. Runn placed on a pair of sunglasses, yet they did not work. The fire still hurt, it wasn't until Ricky had placed on a second pair of sunglasses that things began to dim.
Walks With Swag:You have potential, but you have such a long way to go
Then Snoop Lion opened it's large mouth and let out a roar, a roar that opened to the galaxy, a galaxy that the Swagtastic Generation fell into, he was floating in emptiness now, only hearing the words of Walks With Swag
Walks With Swag:You thought yourself to have truly see the world, but now you are finally being awoken.
Stars began to glow now, bright lights began to formulate into images, the stars now formed into not one, but several Barbosa, all with angry faces, but all of them holding the same title.
Walks With Swag:Many men can never balance in one body. This man... this Barbosa is a troubled soul. He must share his body with the presence of other angry spirits. They're all trapped with the same purpose, to grow stronger in solace, to believe that two heads is actually better than one.
The title then vanished, and the Barbosa stars began to glow red, the hands turned to fists as Swag continued.
Walks With Swag:You must liberate this poor soul, you must rescue him and rid him of the one reason why these souls use this one body as host. You must take the title, you must be crowned champion. Simple theft, or a beatdown after the match will not do. You must win, young Runn. You must free this man and do it with--
Then, above the Barbosa's, a new star alignment began to take shape, it was Ricky, with shades in all dives in, causing all the of the stars that formed Barbosa to scatter, leaving Ricky and the title.
Walks With Swag:This title, the championship will complete you, young Ricky. The quest for Inner Swag differs to us all. Some may acquire their dream job, some fall in love. You Ricky... you must be the champion of the world. You're quest may seem impossible to some, and even to me it seems like a lost cause. But for you Ricky, it is in your grasp. You have the talent, you have the ability. The only thing you lack? The only thing you have ever lacked? It was this training, this ritual.
Ricky again was thrown through what seemed to be the universe, until before him was the WZCW World Heavyweight championship. Around it, were stars resembling the entire roster. One stood out brighter than the others, and that was the head of Mr.Baller.
Walks With Swag:This shrine, this championship, this title. Many have sacrificed a great deal for it, but none have lost more in the quest for the title than Mr.Baller. Baller was once like you, young Runn. Except he is now a bodyless joke, he is a punchline. If you do not win the title now, if you fail to ever beat Barbosa. You will share a similar fate!
Ricky:Not my body! How am I going to pick up bitches without my abs!?
Then, Ricky seemed to grow, expanding to the size of the championship, he stood over Everest, he stood over Austin Reynolds, he even stood over Barbosa as he grabbed the championship, the gold and the metal felt all too real in Ricky's hands.
Walks With Swag:You must become something bigger, you must become more than the others that came before you. Barbosa has become a beast that must be stopped, you must wear this trophy if you ever wish to conquer the Swag Zone. Now young Ricky... you have something that will make you stand tall against the greatest source of adversity. You have Swag, you have an entire city built to this great lifestyle at your disposal. Among all of these advantages, and this glory. You will find many things, the only thing you will not find? It is an excuse. You will not be excused from your victory. Do you understand, Ricky? Do you understand what must be done?
Ricky simply nodded his head and answered back to Walks With Swag with a nod.
Ricky:I do, that title, true swag, fame, everything I want is in my reach, I must take it. I need to be one with my swag to do so. Barbosa is the end all, he is the destroyer of worlds, or the destroyer of my world. I can't allow that, I won't allow that. I won't sit idly by and let Barbosa remove my shot, remove my chance of being the greatest of all time, I am the greatest thing since sliced swag. No matter the risks, no matter the damage I need to do, or the damage I need to take. I will be swag incarnate!
Walks With Swag:Good, young Ricky... you have succeeded
All of existence began to flash before Ricky's eyes, his past, his present, and even the future of him holding the title began to dawn before him. There was another flash before Ricky found himself standing out in the open. He was wearing nothing, nothing but sunglasses and the new, redesigned WZCW Championship covering his boy bits. What was under him? George Washington.
Ricky was standing on top of Mount Rushmore, and about to fall off. Looking around Ricky shouted.
Ricky:Oh Hamburgers!
That was the last text Ricky had gotten from his phone once he arrived to a small village out near South Dakota. Looking at a sign Ricky read the sign indicating he was at a Native American reservation known as "Pine Ridge" While Ricky wanted to find Dude McManBro and get his title back, his phone began to rang. It was none other than the new owner of WZCW, Mr.Banks. Ricky let out a sigh and answered his phone.
Ricky:Yo
Banks seems annoyed at Ricky's answer, with a sigh of his own, Banks said sternly.
Banks: Ricky, I am starting to get impatient, where is the World Heavyweight Championship? You promised that you would have it by Meltdown 99 and yet no one has seen it. Now, I know you told me that you knew exactly where it is... if you are lying to me Mr.Runn you're not going to like what happens to employees of mine who lie to me. It's bad enough you steal the title, but
Ricky:Dawg, chill alright? I got that championship status. You know what, I actually got the championship on me, right now.
Banks:Okay then, if you do. Take a picture and send it to me, right now.
Ricky:Um, wait what?
Banks:You heard me, take a picture of yourself with the championship, right now.
Ricky looks around, trying to think of something to replace the belt. The currently most handsome man in South Dakota had to think on the spot. Taking his phone he took a picture of himself and sent it to Banks. After a few seconds, Banks got the picture.
Banks: Did... did you just send me a selfie?
Ricky:Normally I charge thirty bucks for those. So you're welcome.
Banks:You know I can fire you, right?
Ricky:YOLO SWAG NO FILTER!
Runn, being the brightest star in the universe hung up his phone and turned it off. It was for the best, Banks may be his boss but he was dragging on his style. Seemingly out of nowhere, Ricky spotted a large tent in the middle of town, the tent was covered in bedazzled jewels, and on the canvas had the bold letters "OBEY." An icon that everyone with swag can identify with. Ricky saw that as a sign, and walked towards the tent. Seeing as knocking on a tent was a daunting task, Ricky simply opened the tent and said with his elegant, provoking voice.
Ricky:Hey hey hey, anyone seen a Championship in here?
Though once Ricky entered the tent, the sight before him put him in awe. It was none other than Snoop
Ricky:DudeFace! I'm done playing around, sure, it was fun playing basketball with Prince, and sure it was awesome beating up Barbosa whenever I got the chance to, but for the love of everything that is swag, I can't go to Meltdown 100 without the title! Hell if I lose you know what that does to me? Does to my reputation? That'll prove to all the haters they're right. You want that, yo? You want haters to be right?
Snoop Lion raises his hand at the Swagtastic voice of a generation. Stopping him in his tracks, with his signature voice he said to Ricky.
Snoop Lion:Yo yo yo, slow your roll roll roll. DudeFace is here chilling with us because he's on the same journey as you are, yo. It's not the destination, it's how you got there is what counts. Know what I'm saying?
DudeFace than stood up and said to the Swagtastic Swaggy Swagman, Ricky Runn.
DudeFace:Yo brother Jack dude, man. We have been watching, we've been watching ever since you've embraced swag. I gotta say dude, man bro. The form you were in for Redemption, that aura... that swagga, it was unreal. No one could match it, not Krypto, not Blade, and certainly not Beard. You're the fastest man in the world, and you proved that in beating Beard in record time. You unknowingly entered the Swag zone.
Ricky's eyebrow raised up and asked with a voice just as confused as his face led on.
Ricky:Um, what?
The Chief then stood up and held out his hands over the fire. His attire was what you would normally see from a Swaggin village chief. The feathers were bright, and bold and his eyes were covered with sunglasses. DudeFace pointed to the chief and said to Ricky.
DudeFace:I'll let him explain.
With a swift movement of his hand, the chief tossed some sand into the fire, causing it to spark and glow a vibrant blue.
Walks With Swag:I am Chief Walks with Swag, and I am... swag. While others, like yourself, Dudeface, and even the one called Snoop Lion have adopted Swag. I was raised at a young age to achieve peace within the swag zone. However, young Ricky, you were in that swag zone when you rushed that gold, and now you must achieve again if you wish to call this title your own.
In the blue fire, the World Heavyweight championship glowed brightly, Ricky was put into awe by what seemed like magic.
Ricky:Dude there's my title! Finally, I can go home!
Suddenly the fire snapped at Ricky, who was about to make an attempt to grab the title from the flames.
Walks With Swag:You fool! You can not simply grab the title without being in the Swag Zone
Ricky:Who needs the Swag Zone when you got swag? YOLO
Ricky would then reach for the title, only for the fire to bite his hand harshly. The bite sent Ricky gripping his hand in pain who then shouted.
Ricky:Oh hamburgers fire is hot!
The Chief looked down at the young man with an unimpressed look.
Walks With Swag:For a young man with so much potential, you still have so much to learn. You think everything is so simple, yet it is further from the truth. Much like your opponent, this fire, this title is so much more than what meets the eye.
Almost as quickly as the title appeared in the flames, the fire went from blue, back to the normal orange glow, along with the title vanishing from the flames. Ricky's eyes were opened wide, while the young man was exceptionally skilled at making others stare in awe of him, he was finally shocked, downright in awe of the man who Walked with Swag. Finally convinced Ricky said to the Chief.
Ricky:Oh my ninja... you know what? all of you guys have a point. DudeFace, Walks With Swag, and Snoop Dogg I gotta--
Snoop Lion:It's Snoop Lion
Snoop Lion cut Ricky off to interject that. While Ricky was too much into the current moment to let that small correction stop him.
Ricky Runn:Right, Snoop Lion. What I'm saying is, I am ready to learn, I am willing to do whatever it takes to become one with swag. To enter the swag zone, yo. Just tell me what to do, bro and it's done.
The Chief seemed to be impressed with what Ricky said. Walks with Swag than looked over to Snoop Lion and gave him a nod. Snoop accepted the nod and began to search through his bag.
Walks With Swag:My people have a tradition for the young men and women who are capable of entering the swag zone. It is dangerous, but if you are able to accomplish this ritual, you will see the world in a whole new reality. Your eyes will open for the first time and you will see your new, brighter world. That is why we must wear shades. The future is always bright when you are in the swag zone. Mr. Lion, prepare the swagote
Snoop Lion:One stepizzle ahead of yo dilzzle
With that being said, Snoop opened a small plastic case, in the middle of the container was what appeared to be peyote. Except unlike regular peyote, this particular cactus seemed to glow brightly, and the color of the outside was similar to the Seattle Seahawks uniform colors, blue and green.
Walks With Swag:You must consume the entire Swagote, and if you are able to survive the visions, and look beyond reality. You will be ready to face whatever may be in your future. It will give you the strength to fight the man with many faces, the body with too many souls. No amount of backup, and no amount prep in Swag City can have you ready to face such a beast. It is this, or nothing.
Ricky, despite the warnings from the chief, Ricky took the bright colored peyote into his hand, looking up at the group of people around him. and said to the group.
Ricky:I need to do this... I have to do this. I don't want to lose to Barbosa again, the mere thought that one of his multiple personalities cheering on as he reclaims that championship makes me sick. I need to prove to Barbosa I'm better than him, and I need to make all the haters doubt themselves. As a wise man once said, what's a ghoul to a goblin?
Ricky then chewed right into the peyote. It tasted unusually sweet, enjoying the taste Ricky quickly ate the entire thing. Ricky looking about the tent he said with a laugh.
Ricky:Ha man, this ain't nothing. The way you talked about this thing you made me think I--
Suddenly, Snoop Lion began to transform into an actual lion, meanwhile DudeFace transformed into one giant cloud of hair gel and sunglasses. The only one that seemed to resemble their original appearance was Walks With Swag. However even he underwent changes, his feet transformed into a blue cloud, and grew even larger. Ricky's pupils expanded to the strange sight. To the point where the glow of the fire began to burn Ricky's eyes. Runn placed on a pair of sunglasses, yet they did not work. The fire still hurt, it wasn't until Ricky had placed on a second pair of sunglasses that things began to dim.
Walks With Swag:You have potential, but you have such a long way to go
Then Snoop Lion opened it's large mouth and let out a roar, a roar that opened to the galaxy, a galaxy that the Swagtastic Generation fell into, he was floating in emptiness now, only hearing the words of Walks With Swag
Walks With Swag:You thought yourself to have truly see the world, but now you are finally being awoken.
Stars began to glow now, bright lights began to formulate into images, the stars now formed into not one, but several Barbosa, all with angry faces, but all of them holding the same title.
Walks With Swag:Many men can never balance in one body. This man... this Barbosa is a troubled soul. He must share his body with the presence of other angry spirits. They're all trapped with the same purpose, to grow stronger in solace, to believe that two heads is actually better than one.
The title then vanished, and the Barbosa stars began to glow red, the hands turned to fists as Swag continued.
Walks With Swag:You must liberate this poor soul, you must rescue him and rid him of the one reason why these souls use this one body as host. You must take the title, you must be crowned champion. Simple theft, or a beatdown after the match will not do. You must win, young Runn. You must free this man and do it with--
Then, above the Barbosa's, a new star alignment began to take shape, it was Ricky, with shades in all dives in, causing all the of the stars that formed Barbosa to scatter, leaving Ricky and the title.
Walks With Swag:This title, the championship will complete you, young Ricky. The quest for Inner Swag differs to us all. Some may acquire their dream job, some fall in love. You Ricky... you must be the champion of the world. You're quest may seem impossible to some, and even to me it seems like a lost cause. But for you Ricky, it is in your grasp. You have the talent, you have the ability. The only thing you lack? The only thing you have ever lacked? It was this training, this ritual.
Ricky again was thrown through what seemed to be the universe, until before him was the WZCW World Heavyweight championship. Around it, were stars resembling the entire roster. One stood out brighter than the others, and that was the head of Mr.Baller.
Walks With Swag:This shrine, this championship, this title. Many have sacrificed a great deal for it, but none have lost more in the quest for the title than Mr.Baller. Baller was once like you, young Runn. Except he is now a bodyless joke, he is a punchline. If you do not win the title now, if you fail to ever beat Barbosa. You will share a similar fate!
Ricky:Not my body! How am I going to pick up bitches without my abs!?
Then, Ricky seemed to grow, expanding to the size of the championship, he stood over Everest, he stood over Austin Reynolds, he even stood over Barbosa as he grabbed the championship, the gold and the metal felt all too real in Ricky's hands.
Walks With Swag:You must become something bigger, you must become more than the others that came before you. Barbosa has become a beast that must be stopped, you must wear this trophy if you ever wish to conquer the Swag Zone. Now young Ricky... you have something that will make you stand tall against the greatest source of adversity. You have Swag, you have an entire city built to this great lifestyle at your disposal. Among all of these advantages, and this glory. You will find many things, the only thing you will not find? It is an excuse. You will not be excused from your victory. Do you understand, Ricky? Do you understand what must be done?
Ricky simply nodded his head and answered back to Walks With Swag with a nod.
Ricky:I do, that title, true swag, fame, everything I want is in my reach, I must take it. I need to be one with my swag to do so. Barbosa is the end all, he is the destroyer of worlds, or the destroyer of my world. I can't allow that, I won't allow that. I won't sit idly by and let Barbosa remove my shot, remove my chance of being the greatest of all time, I am the greatest thing since sliced swag. No matter the risks, no matter the damage I need to do, or the damage I need to take. I will be swag incarnate!
Walks With Swag:Good, young Ricky... you have succeeded
All of existence began to flash before Ricky's eyes, his past, his present, and even the future of him holding the title began to dawn before him. There was another flash before Ricky found himself standing out in the open. He was wearing nothing, nothing but sunglasses and the new, redesigned WZCW Championship covering his boy bits. What was under him? George Washington.
Ricky was standing on top of Mount Rushmore, and about to fall off. Looking around Ricky shouted.
Ricky:Oh Hamburgers!
- Status
