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Some Time Earlier
X: …who are you?
I walk through the darkened hallway. I have no recollection of whose hallway this is, but I know I’ve been here before. I look ahead to the end; a figure in a darkened hood stands by a large, closed door. From the figure’s gloved hand, a key hanging from a chain sways back and forth.
X: I said who are you?
???: Who I am isn’t important.
The voice is…distorted. As far as I can tell, anyhow.
???: Do you know why you’re here, Alexander?
X: Was kinda hoping you’d hook me up with a reason, to be honest.
???: The reason isn’t important. Your understanding of the reason through your own free will however, is.
X: This…isn’t gonna be one of those ‘There is no spoon’ conversations, is it?
I look around. The walls are dark wood, with a red curtain going up and down the length of the left-hand wall.
X: Okay, so let’s get the obvious out of the way...this isn’t real.
???: What makes you think that?
X: Huge-ass corridor, weird guy dressed as a Dementor guarding a door. Makes me wanna put my money on a dream. And compared to the dreams I’ve been having recently…
???: Does a dream make this any less real?
X: Well…yeah.
???: Then that is something else you shall learn.
The hooded figure takes a couple of steps forward, and pulls a rope to its right. As it does so, the curtain pulls across towards the door, revealing portraits all along the wall. Or, at first look they’re portraits…
???: Take a look, Alexander. See for yourself why you’re here.
I look upon the wall, and immediately feel even more confused. Each portrait is a snapshot from my life. The one closest to me, an image of my first WZCW match, being driven down by Jack O’Lantern. To it’s left is my final match in Japan; a ladder match where I lost my International Championship against Red. The image itself is me hugging him post-match. To the right of the Jack O’Lantern picture, being decimated by S.H.I.T. The trend continues up to the door, where the image of me in mid flight, as Sam Smith moves from the table, needs no further etching into my brain. Behind me, the pictures seem to go on, endlessly.
X: I…
???: What do you see?
X: This wall…it’s my losses…my failures.
???: Yes. Your failures and regrets, be they in your life or in your career.
X: I was kinda there in all of them. Don’t need reminding.
I walk towards the hooded man. I assume he’s a man; the black robes give no shape as to identify the wearers sex.
X: Why remind me of things that are etched in my brain?
???: It’s not about reminding you. It’s about showing you why.
X: Why what?
The hooded figure turns around, and slowly plunges the key into the lock.
X: Hey jackass! Why what? That doesn’t even make sense.
???: Perhaps a more visual demonstration will suffice.
The lock clicks, and the door opens. The figure pushes it slowly open, and steps to the side for me to walk past. I walk towards it, figuring that it’s the only way I’m gonna get out of this damn corridor. There’s nothing distinguishable through the doorframe, but still I continue. As I pass the hooded figure, I’m half-tempted to pull the hood off. It’s my dream, I figure, so why shouldn’t I? Somehow, I get the distinct impression that this being my dream counts for nothing in the decision-making process.
As I step through, I hear a click behind me. I turn to see that the door I’ve just walked through has disappeared, and has left me in the middle of a street. I take a couple of seconds to adjust to the bright light of the sun, but I quickly realize where I am. Two blocks from my folks’ house. More specifically, Abi’s house. And as I see the young me walk up the steps, I immediately know on what occasion this is, and immediately want to punch that hooded bastard in his hooded face.
The younger me knocks on the door. I walk closer, despite knowing what’s about to happen. I guess some kind of curiosity wants me to see this from a different perspective. I catch my face; white as a sheet, red, sore eyes. The door opens, and woman no older than forty answers. Her eyes are redder and sorer than mine, and the look on her face is one of disdain at the young Xander. I give you Abi’s mom.
Abi’s Mom: What the hell are you doing here.
Young X: I’m sorry, I just wanted to-
Abi’s Mom: To what, exactly? To apologize? To seek forgiveness? To see how I am?? How the hell do you think I am??
Young X: Please, I just-
Abi’s Mom: No. No, you’re not getting that satisfaction out of me. You think you can just waltz on over here and lay on the ‘sorry’, and everything’s gonna be fine, just like that?
Young X: I-
Abi’s Mom: She’s dead, Xander. Dead. Because of you.
They both stand there for a moment in complete stillness. What can only be seconds feels like an eternity; not just for both of them, but for me watching. My young eyes stay firmly rooted to the ground, whilst her eyes burn a hole through me, as if to strike me down where I stand just by a stare. Even here, rewatching this in a dream, I feel her hatred.
Young X: I’m not here to ask for your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. I just…I want you to know I’m sorry. And I did love Abi, I prom-
And before I can say another word, SMACK! I can’t say I blame her, either. Here I was, on her doorstep, telling her how much I loved the most important person in her world, whilst being a big part of the reason she died. Tears have begun rolling down her cheeks, as they have mine.
Abi’s Mom: You don’t deserve to say her name. You and your friends, you did this to her. You drove her to this.
She goes to shut the door, but stops to deliver her final say.
Abi’s Mom: Xander, I’m perfectly aware my daughter was no saint. But she was a good person who loved life. You should know that. And she is certainly not the kind of person to…do something like this. And I hold you responsible. If I had my way, you’d be the one dead, not her. Now get the hell away from here.
I turn away, feeling my stomach doing backflips and my eyes welling up. By far and away, this is one of the worst experiences of my life, topped only by, well, you can guess what. As I do turn away, I notice the cloaked figure has returned. I walk up to him and grab him by the cloak.
X: What the hell is this?
???: This is who you are, Xander. Nothing more than a boy, crying at the mistakes he’s made. You like to think you’re searching for redemption, when in fact you’re doing nothing more than kidding yourself.
X: You son of a-
???: This is your true face. And the truth is, you think you’ve changed when you haven’t. I should know.
The hooded figure pushes me away, raises his arms, and goes to remove his hood-