Alhazred just sits there, S.H.I.T is not sure how much time has passed, but it waits patiently while it's Master, Mister Alhazred sits in front of his TV, which isn’t even on, just staring at the black screen. S.H.I.T watches intently as Alhazred seems to get excited (he shifts position) to almost solemn (he remains still) possibly he is going through the whole range of the organic emotions. Or he is just festering on his couch.
After a while Alhazred stirs, before eventually getting up and pacing the room to his project, the one he had spent so very long trying to get right.
“There you are, my beauty, my finest achievement.”
Alhazred positively beams as he surveys the robot, a near manic glint in his eyes which are just visible through the holes in his mask. His meditation is over, he had been thinking in solitude for quite sometime, with S.H.I.T merely observing in the background, its eyes intent on its new master, waiting only for the next command. This is what it lives for.
Alhazred starts to circumnavigate S.H.I.T. Looking the robot up and down, observing the machine from all possible angles, all the while adjusting and readjusting his famous Power Glove.
“Between this wonderful thing” he indicates the glove “and you, S.H.I.T. I have assembled the two greatest pieces of destructive technology the world has ever seen.”
Alhazred pauses, a faint look of regret seems to pass over the former Doctors face. The robot remains still “this is what I have replaced my best friend with?” He looks over the machine again “a cold, calculating tool of destruction” he sighs “at least James King was good for conversation.”
S.H.I.T looks up at Alhazred but still says nothing, the now Mister Alhazred begins to pace in front of it, the machines head follows his movements, but still it is silent.
“Ty Burna had James King kicked out of the Apostles to make room for that giant lump Toyota” Alhazred stops pacing, he just looks straight at S.H.I.T “and Mister. . . Mister is dead. . . All that I am left with, is you.” He says, pointing at S.H.I.T.
“Well? What have you got to say?”
Both parties stare at each other for a long while, neither moving. Finally S.H.I.T breaks the silence.
What is your wish. . . Master?
Alhazred’s manic beam suddenly returns.
“What do I wish?” He chuckles “I wish to play some Halo!”
------------ ---------------------------------------------------- -----------------
In Alhazred's home, a blaring noise of gunfire can be heard, this is because of the two figures sat in front of a huge flat screen television, which is displaying people in various guises and colours finding new and inventive ways to kill each other.
This game is a waste of resources!
S.H.I.T and Alhazred are sat in beanbag chairs in front of a games Console, both holding controls, Alhazred’s fingers moving frantically as he tries to do the workload of two men, S.H.I.T just holds it’s control, staring blankly at the screen.
This game is a waste of resources! It repeats itself stupidly.
Finally acknowledging his projects words, Alhazred turns his head to face the robot, a look of outright disgust on his face.
“A waste. . . A waste of resources?” He cried, barely able to fathom the words, let alone make a sentence out of them.
Affirmative. You are leaking clear, odious fluid from your pours, a sign of exhaustion, you are physically and mentally tiring yourself ahead of our impending conflict with Saxton and Saboteur!
The look of disgust remains on Alhazreds face but he replies nonetheless. “What do you do before matches then?” S.H.I.T moves to answer, but Alhazred cuts it off “no wait, don’t tell me. You stand in that crate waiting don’t you?”
No reply.
“I liberated you from that crate! ME! I gave you your true purpose, you’d just stand there, until it was time to climb into the ring. I got you out of there, I got you to physically dismantle Jack O’Lantern before that match, leaving only Triple X as opposition, which more or less guaranteed you entrance into the Lethal Lottery so that we could both help Ty win it. Which he did I might add!”
“What will you do when we’ve finished playing Halo? Go back to that crate! Hmm?”
No reply.
“Well, no, not anymore, we are a team, we need to bond, like me and James King, the once greatest tag team in WZCW! We accomplished our goals built on a foundation of Halo and Super Smash Bros!”
S.H.I.T is not James King! Was the only reply from the occupier of the other chair.
“No. . .” Alhazred conceded.
A long silence, broken only by the tap, tap, tapping of Alhazred frantically hitting the buttons on his control, soon it is joined by another, both controls making a chorus of glorious gaming sounds, recognising the new noise himself, Alhazred looks to his right, to see his new companion curiously pressing buttons in an apparently random order. He should be glad to see his project make an effort.
“YOUR DOING IT WRONG!” He blurts out “THAT ISNT THE SHOOT BUTTON YOU INFERNAL CONTRAPTION!”
S.H.I.T looks back at its new master, and continues to helplessly press buttons on the control. A previously angry Alhazred can only looks amused as S.H.I.T struggles lamely to get to grips with what is going on.
“I guess your ability to hurt people doesn’t translate well to the virtual world, my mechanical friend.”
S.H.I.T will learn!
“Good” said Alhazred “soon I want you to be able to do to The Covenant what we will do to Action Saxton and Saboteur!”
Action Saxton and Saboteur must be destroyed?
“Yes S.H.I.T! The Master has willed it, and we always do what the Master wills” Alhazred adds, almost bitterly.
Then it will be done! Comes the cool, emotionless reply.
"Just like that?"
Affirmative!
"It must be nice, to be able to do what you have to do without a second thought."
It is what it is. . . The reply this time was slower and more deliberate. Why are we still playing this simulation? Gustav never played games as match preparation!
"Well, I am not Gustav" said Alhazred.
A pause follows, slightly too long for comfort.
No. . .
He is gone and you are here!
The Weapon and The Soldier, doing the bidding of the leader, making his goals possible with our tireless effort, never thinking, or questioning, just doing.
Alhazred just stares blankly at a moment of insight from the husk.
One takes the order and pulls the trigger, the other strikes the blow, not knowing any better. . . Alhazred moves to say something, but as he does so, his character is violently killed much to his disgust and annoyance.
Much the same as your virtual simulation Alhazred, drop your guard for but a moment and you will be punished.
"I do not take orders from him. . . I just. . ."
Just what? Human!
"I owe him a lot, without him I'd still be considered a joke. Alhazred's face hardens "I dont need to explain myself to you! Your just a machine, a weapon. . . or something, all you do is sit about on your mechanical ass and wait for someone to tell you to beat someone else up!" Alhazred pauses and takes a deep breath "it just so happens, S.H.I.T. that the person who tells you who to beat up, is me. Not Ty Burna! Not Chris K.O! ME! You are MY project and MY achievement!"
Seemingly beaten down, S.H.I.T looks to the ground.
What is your wish. . . Master? It says as emotionless as before.
"My wish" said Alhazred grinning again "my wish is for you and I to go out there at Meltdown and completely obliterate Action Saxton and Saboteur. Understand?"
It will be done!
Just like that?
Affirmative!
Alhazred grins faintly. S.H.I.T just stares back blankly.
A faint beeping sound breaks the silence, the source is soon located in Alhazred’s pocket, he takes out the offending device and sighs faintly.
“I’ve got somewhere to be, you just, you just stay here and get to grips with that game” the former Dr. turns and leaves the room, leaving S.H.I.T alone.
After a while it shuffles over and picks up Alhazred’s fallen control.
After a few minutes of more random button mashing the Machine accepts defeat and simply drops the control on the floor.
Waste of resources! It said resources better put to use in the annihilation Action Saxton and Saboteur!
