(We see Showtime sitting on his black leather chair in his dark studio room)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for something far greater than anything you could ever find on your TV, and that my viewers is me, Showtime David Cougar. Now tonight the Show has a message for one his opponents, Ace. Ace, my boy, don't think that the Show is not impressed that you managed to stay 15 minutes in the battle royale. The Show is very impressed with both of you. Ace, you were proud of your partner for lasting the 15 minutes, he was in awe at your determination to last 15 minutes in the match. The Show, NEVER, feared that 15 minutes would be any sort of problem for me. Quite the contrary, the only thing the Show is afraid of is what he's going to do to the both of you guys at Meltdown.
(Showtime casually reaches back behind the leather chair and pulls out a deck of cards and starts shuffling them)
You see, the Show doesn't boast, he doesn't outlandishly make outrageous claims about himself, oh no, the Show speaks only the truth about himself and his opponents. And my claims about you two have been correct. Where were you this time Ace, hiding in a dimly lit locker room, playing cards with a solitary random, freaking out just slightly when someone comes to talk to you. You are afraid of being in the spotlight light, of being the star, of being known, something I have no problem being. And that is why you and Big Dave don't deserve to be tag champions, you both lack the confidence to thrive in this business. The company doesn't want a bunch of scared little wanna be wrestlers holding one of their belts. They want someone who can truly represent the tag belts, someone like me and Trademark. You both gush over each others little accomplishments, let the Show be the first to say that what he has done is not even the tip of the iceberg of all that he will do in this company...
(Showtime stops shuffling and stares a hole straight into the camera)
I am not afraid of losing because that is something that is just not going to happen. Not at Meltdown and most certainly not at Unscripted.
So... you judge your victories in the ring on a single hand of cards. Well don't get your hopes up too strongly, after all, you still haven't won anything. Survive would be the correct choice of word for your guys' battle royale match, and as for your first match, what was it, second eliminated and didn't get to pin a sole. Neither of you have ever made a pinfall on anybody at WZCW and your guys first still won't be at Meltdown.
But you know what, I'm not going to leave you all in suspense here with this deck of cards. let's do what Ace would do, judge the outcome of our match on one hand from the deck.
(Showtime throws Ace's first card, an ace of spades)
Oh look at that, isn't that your calling card
(Showtime throws himself a card, a 2 of hearts)
And isn't that a bit of irony. I believe, isn't that what you compared me and TM to.
(Showtime throws Ace's second card, an ace of clubs and throws himself his second card, a 6 of hearts)
Well, you certainly do have luck on your side, isn't that what you say you don't need. Hmmm... well judging from this hand, you'd probably make a high bet, scare me into throwing the hand away or wait me out and wait for me to make a huge bet. Well no matter your next move, the Show is absolute confidence in himself and in victory...
(Showtime again reaches behind the chair and pulls out a replica WZCW tag team belt and puts it on his lap)
So much so that he will have no worries at all about losing, and no qualms at all about putting a shot at these belts on the line in this hand or in any match against any individual.
(Showtime places the belt down on the floor by the cards and begins the process of burning a card and turning three, 3 of hearts, ace of diamonds, ace of hearts)
Now at this point, your probably clicking you heels, jumping around and trying your best to act tough by putting me down.
(Showtime burns and turns another to reveal a 5 of hearts and stands up to speak)
Put downs are for people who can't find the words to challenge somebody's claim about them or can't think of anything to defend themselves with. I call you afraid, I tell you exactly why I am unafraid of who you two guys are or anything you think you can do to me. And you two come up with 'king shit' and something about not lasting longer than you. You talk about fighting resiliently just to make 15 minutes and about not disappointing each other. I'm not going to get into the mathematical reasoning as to why I couldn't last longer than you guys in a 15 minute time limit match when we all finished, so I'll let you mum over that one. King shit? Original, and really means nothing to me. I know I'm just saying what the viewers already know, that I am the closest thing to perfect there is... Determination to make 15 minutes? If it was a struggle for you two WZCW stars than you'd best just lie down now, because me and Trademark will put you guys through way worse hell than you both think the battle royale match was and you can rest assure the only people you two will be disappointed in is yourselves.
(Showtime settles back into his seat and looks at the cards)
What I'm really getting at is, it doesn't matter if you two are the best pair out there, just like your pair of aces, the outcome will still be the same. Me and Trademark, we ain't a pair and we may never be best buds, but we know what we want and we think ahead to get it. I have no fears at all about losing, it's just not in the cards for us at Meltdown, at Unscripted, or any time soon...
We will be victorious because we are the future of this company, yet we are already the best two wrestlers that they've ever seen.
(Showtime burns and turns the last card to reveal a 4 of hearts)
Straight flush beats 4 of a kind...
(Showtime picks up the replica belt and puts it over his shoulder)
So what does that mean Ace, since you can read the cards so well. Does that mean that even if there were 4 of you you guys would still lose. Of course not, albeit it actually is true that four of you couldn't beat us, but the cards mean nothing, the determination of one man means everything...
Ace, we can play cards, we can fight, we can sing, dance, play backgammon, karaoke, throw rocks in a pond, it doesn't matter. The end result between the two of us will just be the same. I will win and that's all there is to it, there is no second hand, there is no ace in the hole, there is no chance you and Big Dave will beat me and Trademark and that is just the way the script has been written.
(Showtime stares at the WZCW tag belt)
Besides, Bateman's no fool. He sees the drawing power that is in me and Trademark, he hears the cash registers ringing, the second me and Trademark walk out of Unscripted WZCW tag team champions these replica belts will be flying off the shelves and into the hands of all the Show's viewers. The ratings will sore to new heights and he'll have no choice then but to continue us forward to the Elite X title and then the WZCW world heavyweight title...
But don't worry...
(Showtime walks off camera and comes back with a piece of cake on a plate)
while we're celebrating, there will be plenty of celebration cake for you guys to eat. I hope it's not too tough for you.
(Showtime takes a bite of cake)
Mmmm, it's so good, and it goes down so nice and easy... almost as easy as it will be to beat Ace David and Big Dave...
(Showtime starts grinning ear to ear)
See, I don't think your a piece of cake. I think your easier than one...
I am the Show, and I'll see you all after my win at Meltdown.