Whoever gave dogs this title of "Mans Best Friend" really needs a slap round the face and a kick in the junk for being so stupid. Now take a good look and the right and tell me, Would you rather see this seriously fine piece of ass in your bed or a smelly, bad breathed Dog? You dont even need to think about it, thats really not even a question I needed to ask. Unless your like this dog loving freak who named them "Mans best friend" and should have been destroyed at birth. What I really think is when this idiot gave them this title of "Mans Best Friend" I think they seem to have miss spelt it and added an R by mistake to the word fiend. Seriously whats so special about a some god damn mutt? They dont do as there told, there un-hygenic and they stink.
Top 10
They don't make the best of pets for anybody and they aren't really that useful so here is a a list of what should really be labeled "Man's Best Friend".
Football10: Football/Soccer - Football came in 10th because almost everyone likes football or as you Americans like to call it soccer or even as I like to call it a bunch of over hyped, overpaid, media driven wankers prancing around a field like bunch of fairy's kicking a ball.
Films9: Films - This is another on of my favourites and I think it should have be ranked higher in our chart. Lets face it, who the fuck doesn't like a good movie I own many films and proceed to keep on buying them. P.S Kevin Smith is God and you are his Bitch.
Music8: Music - Life isn't just complete without music, it can change the mood in an instant wheather your chilling out, getting intimate with your partner or ready for a big night out it sets the scene and always gets you in the mood perfectly.
The Simpsons7: The Simpsons - The greatest show ever made, if you ever say an un-kind word about The Simpsons then you personally need a good slapping because its the best thing ever seen on TV, always has and always will be.
Moo6: Cows - Now heres a very important animal to the human race not only does it have a purpose in life of producing milk and tasty meaty products. Now if dogs ate grass and produced tasty milk then my whole attude towards these slobbering mutts would be totally different but until then im still gonna hate them.
Internet5: The Internet - Well if you dont know what the internet is then you must be either stupid or ******ed because if your reading this article you must be connected to the internet. The internet is one of the worlds most popular ways of learning random shit, entertainment, games and looking at porn. The list is endless that why its 5th.
Porn4: Porn - Yes you've guessed it, this filthy image can only represent one thing, Porn! This has to be one of Man's Best Friends, porn came in a close 4th purely because this is a site on the internet and the internet is made up of 97.99% porn and are servey was filled in by porn addicts, and who's to complain because its great.
Bed3: Bed - Who could live without a bed? Its the most comfortable thing known to man. Wheather its a Single, Double or Kingsized, a beds a bed and nothing can compair the amount of comfort it gives you. When your drunk stinking of booze and smoke its always there for you, Your bed loves you no matter what.
Women2: Women - Just topping porn in are poll is the real thing. Women comes in at number 2 because on the good side you get the sex but on the bad side you have to watch crap television with them like Eastenders and films that feature either J-Lo, Leonardo Di Caprio or Gweneth Paltron you know the dull, garbage films with bad acting. Wow Gangs of New York Flashback.
Hmm Beer1: Alcohol - In at number 1 yes you've guessed it could it have been anything else but alcohol, Its the answer to all lifes little problems. Whatever the occation its always there for you. Wheather your rich and famous, or just a low life bum living on the street. Alcohol is always going to be there for you just to help you escape reality for those few amazing hours.
Thats it people we have a new winner from now on when ever you here the words "Man's Best Friend" your not gonna think of picking shit out of the grips on your shoes with a stick or having to call up the dodgy plumber, your gonna think of destroying your liver, serious hangovers and unatractive people who you would never give the quick in-out to layed next to you in bed.
Top 10
They don't make the best of pets for anybody and they aren't really that useful so here is a a list of what should really be labeled "Man's Best Friend".
Football10: Football/Soccer - Football came in 10th because almost everyone likes football or as you Americans like to call it soccer or even as I like to call it a bunch of over hyped, overpaid, media driven wankers prancing around a field like bunch of fairy's kicking a ball.
Films9: Films - This is another on of my favourites and I think it should have be ranked higher in our chart. Lets face it, who the fuck doesn't like a good movie I own many films and proceed to keep on buying them. P.S Kevin Smith is God and you are his Bitch.
Music8: Music - Life isn't just complete without music, it can change the mood in an instant wheather your chilling out, getting intimate with your partner or ready for a big night out it sets the scene and always gets you in the mood perfectly.
The Simpsons7: The Simpsons - The greatest show ever made, if you ever say an un-kind word about The Simpsons then you personally need a good slapping because its the best thing ever seen on TV, always has and always will be.
Moo6: Cows - Now heres a very important animal to the human race not only does it have a purpose in life of producing milk and tasty meaty products. Now if dogs ate grass and produced tasty milk then my whole attude towards these slobbering mutts would be totally different but until then im still gonna hate them.
Internet5: The Internet - Well if you dont know what the internet is then you must be either stupid or ******ed because if your reading this article you must be connected to the internet. The internet is one of the worlds most popular ways of learning random shit, entertainment, games and looking at porn. The list is endless that why its 5th.
Porn4: Porn - Yes you've guessed it, this filthy image can only represent one thing, Porn! This has to be one of Man's Best Friends, porn came in a close 4th purely because this is a site on the internet and the internet is made up of 97.99% porn and are servey was filled in by porn addicts, and who's to complain because its great.
Bed3: Bed - Who could live without a bed? Its the most comfortable thing known to man. Wheather its a Single, Double or Kingsized, a beds a bed and nothing can compair the amount of comfort it gives you. When your drunk stinking of booze and smoke its always there for you, Your bed loves you no matter what.
Women2: Women - Just topping porn in are poll is the real thing. Women comes in at number 2 because on the good side you get the sex but on the bad side you have to watch crap television with them like Eastenders and films that feature either J-Lo, Leonardo Di Caprio or Gweneth Paltron you know the dull, garbage films with bad acting. Wow Gangs of New York Flashback.
Hmm Beer1: Alcohol - In at number 1 yes you've guessed it could it have been anything else but alcohol, Its the answer to all lifes little problems. Whatever the occation its always there for you. Wheather your rich and famous, or just a low life bum living on the street. Alcohol is always going to be there for you just to help you escape reality for those few amazing hours.
Thats it people we have a new winner from now on when ever you here the words "Man's Best Friend" your not gonna think of picking shit out of the grips on your shoes with a stick or having to call up the dodgy plumber, your gonna think of destroying your liver, serious hangovers and unatractive people who you would never give the quick in-out to layed next to you in bed.