Kermit Presents: A WZCW Christmas [Spoilers]

Kermit

the Frog
WZCWChristmas.png

The following piece is a non-canon roleplay.




For all of you that have not seen my comment in the WZCW Discussion Thread; my laptop caught a Trojan virus, which required me to perform a system restore. That system restore deleted several of my files, including the WZCW Christmas special that I was working on. The special would mirror the Thanksgiving one that I did last month. The piece was about 3/4th the way done, so it was an absolute killer when I found out that it was deleted. The best thing for me to do now is to present you with the spoilers of the roleplay, because after a long semester I just really don’t have the patience to go back and re-write 10+ pages.

Without further ado, the spoilers of this year’s WZCW Christmas special.



The scene begins with Saboteur, who is wearing a brown toupee and a mustache. He is tucking his son, Sabo Jr., who looks like a midget Saboteur, in. Sabo Jr. wants a story before he goes to bed, so Saboteur tussles his son’s non-existent hair and begins a Christmas story that he had never told his son before this very Christmas.

We transition to Santa, in a recliner, looking over a naughty or nice list. He checks several WZCW face names off as nice and then gets to the name Blade. Before he can say anything, Blade, with Scott Hammond, emerges from the shadows with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Blade mentions that he asked for a World Heavyweight Championship title reign last year for Christmas, but all he got was reindeer crap in his stocking. Santa says it was a joke, but Blade doesn’t get it and has Hammond take him out with chloroform.

The text “sub-plot” spins on the screen and we transition to a shot of Ty Burna, wearing an overcoat, top hat, and cane, walking down a snowy sidewalk. He walks in front of a bunch of carolers, which consist of Darren Bull, Ryan Raynes, Triple X, Justin Cooper, and Mick Overlast. Overlast wishes Ty a merry Christmas, but Ty says bah-humbug and tells the rookies to get out of his Christmas roleplay spotlight and back onto Aftershock.

We then transition to a shot of Ty walking into an office building. Matt Tastic is working in the corner. Ty is pissed that Tastic turned up the thermostat, even though it is 14 degrees outside. Gordito walks in and it is revealed that Ty is his uncle. Gordito ask Ty to Christmas dinner, which is tomorrow, but Ty says no. Ty begins to shove Gordito out, but before Gordito leaves he curses Ty and hopes that three spirits visit him tonight and give him a life-changing experience. Ty says bah-humbug and Gordito leaves.

We transition back to Blade circling a huge conference table. He greets all the WZCW heels who weren’t included in Ty’s subplot or are not Jewish. We get a quick cutaway scene where Mr. Baller is spinning a dreidel in a room. The heels at the conference table include: Showtime, Alex Bowen, Alexander Stark, Hiraku Susumu, Scott Hammond, Armando Paradyse, Steven Holmes, Constantine, Johnny Scumm, and Jack Skinner. Jack Skinner raises his hand and says that he is sorry, but he thought this was face meeting. He makes an awkward face and then exits awkwardly. Blade says that he has a master plan. Several faces begin guessing things such as global denomination or destroying the WZCW, but Blade says no. Blade says that his master plan is to ruin the Christmas of all of WZCW’s faces. Everyone at the table exchanges unsure looks with each other until Blade begins to maniacally laugh, which catches on. We end the scene with a tied up and gagged Santa, who has a worried look on his face.

We transition to a party that is being held at Ricky Runn’s house. Ricky has cheesy sweater on as we look through several random scenes that are happening within the house. S.H.I.T. is teaching Stan Rogers to do the robot, Everest and Titus are telling stories to a gawking T.I.W., Sean Cruz and Brad Bomb are playing WZCW: Kingdom Come on the Xbox 360 in the den, while Alex Steele reads the WZCW Magazine: Debut Edition, and Chris Beckford ask Sam Smith about his brothel. We end the party scene with Steven Kurtesy asking Ricky where Austin Reynolds is.

We transition over to Ty, who is sleeping in his bed inside of a dark room. The windows fly open and a ghostly Chris K.O. drifts in through them. He says that he is the ghost of Christmas past and that he taking him back in time. Ty is scared, but goes regardless. Chris shows Ty a scene where his young self and a young Austin Reynolds are conversing at a party. Present-day Ty says he was so happy back then. Chris says that it was before his heel turn. Chris says it is time to go, but Ty doesn’t want to leave. Chris executes his finisher, the Butterfly Effect, and Ty is back in his bed.

We transition to all the heels from the previous conference room scene. They are separated in several slays. All the reindeer have been switched out with starved cheetahs. Blade stands in front of them and says that they are going to crash the WZCW face party. Everyone cheers and we finish the scene with all of them flying off into the sky.

We transition back to Ty, and a ghostly James King bust through the window. He tells Ty that he is the ghost of Christmas present. He says that he was going to take Ty to see how poor Matt Tastic is and how his son his crippled, but he got his fact’s wrong. Tastic is actually pretty well off. He is making six figures at Ty’s office and his son is a five-star football prospect. He admits that Ty isn’t doing to bad either. He says that Ty could retire in the next two years if he wanted to and be able to live off of a yearly five figure income for the next twenty years. Ty says that James should leave, and he does.

We transition back to the Christmas party at Ricky’s house. We see Ricky and Kurtesy watching people hang out when Reynolds steps into the scene. He says that he is sorry and he didn’t realize how long his cameo would take in Ty’s sub-plot. We cut to a scene where Blade and the rest of the heels are above Ricky’s house. Blade tells Hammond to jump down and cut the power from the breaker box in Ricky’s garage.

Hammond jumps down and breaks into the un-lit garage. He attempts to turn off the power, but he is met with a roundhouse kick from Black Dragon. Dragon shakes his head no and a battle occurs. The heels of the WZCW jump out of their slays after Blade says that Hammond has failed. They break in through the windows and we get a full on battle between the faces and the heels. Blade hovers over the house in his slay.

We cut back to Ty in his bed. A reaper-looking figure comes through the window and signals for Ty to follow him. Ty follows and they go to a cemetery. They are standing in the middle of the cemetery when the figure lifts up his hand and reveals a pointing power glove towards a tombstone. Ty nervously walks up to it and wipes away the dust that covers the name. It reads “Ty Burma.” Ty begins to scream no, but then stops. He tells the figure that he is Ty Burna, and not “Ty Burma.” The figure pulls back his hood and reveals him to be Dr. Alhazred. He says sorry and that Everest made that prop.

We cut back to the Christmas party battle scene and the faces have begun to take the advantage. Blade is unhappy and says that he is ending this here. He reaches into Santa’s bag and pulls out a huge gun turret and begins firing upon the house. Every face and heel takes cover as Blade destroys Ricky’s house. Reynolds is hiding under a couch with Kurtesy and asks him what they are going to do.

The scene immediately transitions to a shot of a tank pulling up to the house and firing a shot at Blade’s slay. Blade falls back and says what the hell. The tank’s top pops open and Santa reveals himself as the driver. He says, ho ho ho, you son of a bitch. Blade says that it is impossible that he was able to escape. All of a sudden an aerial assault comes out of no where. Saboteur and Action Saxton are flying R-Wings, from StarFox64, as they shoot down Blade’s slay. All of the heels begin to scatter as Santa, Saboteur, and Saxton drive them off with gunfire. The faces of the WZCW rejoice on top of the roof of the damaged house.

We transition to a scene of someone knocking on a door. Gordito opens it up and it reveals that Ty was knocking. Ty says that he wants to be face for just this one RP. Gordito says to get in here and give the dirty one some sugar. We then get a generic pop song dubbing over a bunch of random scenes where the whole entire WZCW roster, faces and heels, are dancing at Gordito’s party.

The music dies down when Kurtesy walks up to Saboteur. Kurtesy ask Saboteur if Santa was still going to deliver presents. Saboteur said that Santa needed a night off so he got someone to cover his shift, Big Dave. We here a record scratching sound effect and everyone at the party gasps.

We transition to a shot of Big Dave, in a Santa suit, walking on top of a roof with a bag of toys. The camera pans over to Barbosa, who is hiding behind the chimney with the Santa For A Day brief case. Barbosa screeches like a girl and jumps out from behind the chimney and tackles Big Dave. The scene freezes there and we get a Christmas themed tune at the end.

The credits roll and we see Jack O’ Lantern walk in front of them. He asks if he is too late for the WZCW Halloween special. The scene goes black.
 
Well done good sir, it sounds like it would have been a terrific read, especially the parts with Saboteur in it.

HOW DID YOU KNOW I KNOW SANTA?
 
I say the entire WZCW roster goes out and finds the SOB that gave Kermit a virus and show him how tough us E-Fed guys really are. :p
 
Yeah, we'll write him a handicap match. Us vs. the WZCW roster and he'll job more than Doug Crashin. See how he likes that response.
 

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