Is There A Shittier Director Than Uwe Boll?

[Cena's Little Helper]

I heard a few years ago that they had done a House of the Dead film, but I was hesitant to see it because of the poor reviews it got. Well, I saw it posted on fearNET the other day, and thought, how bad could this film possibly be (I mean, critics panned Romero's Day of the Dead, and I thought that movie was the tits)?

Well, for once, the critics were right: House of the Dead was a pure, unadulterated piece of crap. Before I saw this film, I had no idea that a film so terrible could be made. Unfortunately, though, I have just now found out that the director of this film, Uwe Boll, is prolific, and has put out even more pieces of crap, one being Alone In The Dark, a film that I used to think (before seeing House of the Dead) was the worst film ever made.

So, two simple questions here, folks. Do you the feel the same way as I do? And, why is this hack still making movies?

 

[INDYjon22]

I agree that House of the Dead and its unfortunate sequal House of the Dead 2 are god awful films and are an insult to cinema I would have to say that Michael Bay is the worst Director/producer in the industry right now. Just look at the terrible storys and editing in his Transformers movies. HOwever, that is not the reason I hate him, the man is single handedly ruining the horror genre. He is buying up the rights to so many great franchises and messing them up with redundant kill scenes and terrible casting. Look no further then Friday the 13th. Not a single character did I care about. I wanted them all to die equally. The Hitcher was another bomb, which I sorta liked at the time, but in hindsight it was nothing special. The Texas Chainsaws were good but my biggest grip in regards to Bay stems from these movies. In three out of four of these movies he uses beartraps. Its a nice weapon to use once in awhile but it loses its effect by the third movie by the same man. That topped with his recent acquisition of Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th part 2 just makes me cringe and how bad these movies will be.

 

[X]

Uwe Boll has redefined making terrible films. I'm convinced it's all a big plot that he's concocted to make the worst films ever. Seriously, there's just no way someone could purposely be so fucking awful at what they do, and yet continue to make films. How anyone gives that man money to make a movie for them is beyond me. He's proven time and time again that he's an idiot.

Still waiting for that Michael Bay-Uwe Boll boxing match too.

 

[The Doctor]

Uwe Boll has been a major joke with the internet community for quite some time now. His movies are so bad, they're hilarious. He destroys everything he lays his hands on. House of the Dead had to cut from clips from the videogames. Bloodrayne had a sex scene that shook the flimsy walls of the prison set. And don't get me started on Postal.

He routinely makes absolutely terrible decisions. I mean, how stupid can you be, naming a guy who falls through a trapdoor into a body of water "Marco"? All seriousness gets sucked out of a scene when a guy starts thrashing around and people scream "Marco! Marco!"

To top it all off, the man has an ego the size of a house. He's ranted on the internet numerous times about how stupid we are for panning his films, claiming that they're true art and we just don't get it.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

What's wrong with Uwe Boll? He makes shit, like most directors do, his only crime is being more high profile than all the other DTV directors out there. I watch Uwe Boll films because they're Uwe Boll films, like everybody else, so he must have some drawing power. His films are easy to avoid anyway.

Him & The Stath teaming up was a dream and I know we're all waiting for him to team up with Steven Seagal.

 

[jmt225]

I've only attempted to watch one Uwe Boll film, and that was Heart of America. The reason I watched it because films about school shootings have always interest me for some reason, and even with that being a fact.... I still could not finish Heart of America all the way through, and the funny part is that a lot of people claim Heart of America to be Uwe Boll's best film. I, however, found it to be a giant, steaming pile of dog shit. It was boring, the dialogue was lame as hell, the look of it was plain ugly, and so on and so on.

As far as his other films.... I just don't bother. I already know it's going to be a huge waste of time, so why even attempt to watch another one of his films? Even as a huge fan of B-Rated action flicks and straight-to-DVD movies... I won't even give this guy's work a shot.

The guy sucks ass, and the only thing he's ever contributed to the film industry was a great nude scene from Kristanna Loken (which, I'm sure, is the only watchable part in that entire film), but that's it. Fuck him, and the shitty movies he's made. Ed Wood was a better director than this motherfucker.

 

[Loveless]

I would say it's a close run thing between Uwe, Michael Bay, Paul W S Anderson (not to be confused with the brilliant Paul T Anderson) and Lars Von Trier. All 4 make abysmal ridiculous films that totally lack any kind of art.

I sense I'm forgetting someone. Rob Zombie is terrible as well, he's finally managed to kill of Michael Myers.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

What's wrong with Uwe Boll? He makes shit, like most directors do, his only crime is being more high profile than all the other DTV directors out there. I watch Uwe Boll films because they're Uwe Boll films, like everybody else, so he must have some drawing power. His films are easy to avoid anyway.

Him & The Stath teaming up was a dream and I know we're all waiting for him to team up with Steven Seagal.

In my opinion, Uwe Boll's films aren't even deserving of going direct-to-video. I just read on his wikipedia page that he's gotten so much funding because of special tax laws in Germany that allow you to write-off investments in film. But, according to his wikipedia page, that law was repealed a few years ago. So, why are people still giving him money when his films don't make anything?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

In my opinion, Uwe Boll's films aren't even deserving of going direct-to-video. I just read on his wikipedia page that he's gotten so much funding because of special tax laws in Germany that allow you to write-off investments in film. But, according to his wikipedia page, that law was repealed a few years ago. So, why are people still giving him money when his films don't make anything?

He pays for his own films, from what I've read. He's a wealthy man and his films do make money, so distributors will happily pick them up. His films are awful, but at the same time people are still curious about him and his work, so he must be doing something right. Anyway, he's only the world's worst director until I get funding for Killer Squirrels: They're Nuts.

 

[X]

I would say it's a close run thing between Uwe, Michael Bay, Paul W S Anderson (not to be confused with the brilliant Paul T Anderson) and Lars Von Trier. All 4 make abysmal ridiculous films that totally lack any kind of art.

While I completely agree with you about Boll, Bay, and Anderson (well actually I've always liked Event Horizon), I completely disagree when it comes to Lars Von Trier. To say his films lack any kind of art is pretty ridiculous I think considering his films are about as unabashedly arty as one can get. I think he's a highly overrated director as well, but he's made a few films that were quite good.

I sense I'm forgetting someone. Rob Zombie is terrible as well, he's finally managed to kill of Michael Myers.

No he hasn't, Halloween 3 is already set to come out next year, without Zombie this time though. Zombie gets way too much flack for his Halloween films, the first was a mediocre but serviceable remake no worse than most slasher films, and the second film was an improvement on that formula. I thought his second Halloween film was the best entry to the franchise since Halloween 4.

 

[FromTheSouth]

I saw Postal. Uwe Boll should be killed. That was the single worst movie I have seen. The premise was bad, and the acting somehow made it worse.

I will defend Michael Bay though. He's not trying to make good movies, he's trying to make popular movies, and he does that very well. Now, I don't know a lot of director's names or filmographies, but I know what I like. Megan Fox and things blowing up fit into that category.

So, yeah, if you think his films are shit, good for you. I am not bothered by shelling out 8 bucks to be entertained for a couple of hours. His films are certainly entertaining.

 

[INDYjon22]

FTS, I agree that from the entertainment point of view Michael Bay does make good movies. But they just dont do anything for me. Dont get me wrong I enjoy a good old fashion tit and explosion movie but theres just something about Bays style that rubs me the wrong way. The stories always fall flat and are weak. The explosions have become sub par and have been way overused. He hasnt used an original idea in years and now hes just buying up all the great horror movie names. He will always be the worst director/producer in Hollywood to me, until of course someone else comes along and becomes just as redundant.
I cant claim to have seen many Uwe Boll movies but they are also very bad. House of the Dead was pure shit. I just blew my mind how bad it was and Postal was pretty terrible but I didnt hate it nearly as much as the Transformer movies and House of the Dead.

 

[X]

So apparently Boll's upcoming film Rampage has been getting very good reviews apparently. I just read a very good review of the film over at Bloody-Disgusting, and both the reviewer and that site in general are known for absolutely despising Boll and giving all of his films terrible reviews. The reviewer himself says he could not fucking believe that Uwe Boll of all people made a good film, but apparently he has.

I'm very intrigued by that review, and definitely am going to check Rampage out when I get the chance. Perhaps Uwe Boll's career is salvageable after all.

 

[NSL]

I'd have to agree. I've let friends show me more than my fair share of Boll films, and I every time I had to take a break halfway through to make sure I wasn't catching ******.

The only one I liked at all was Bloodrayne, and let's face it, it was only because we got to see Kristanna buck nekkid and riding a guy against a jail cell. That was a pretty hot scene. Or was it just her tits that mesmerized me?