Is teen pregnancy ever okay?

[HBK-aholic]

A few days ago I was on the bus from going shopping with a friend, when I saw a girl I haven't seen in about 5 years. She went to my primary school, and we were pretty good friends for what you can be at that age.

However when I saw her, she had a baby with her. I've often taken younger cousins out wth me, so didn't think much of it. However when I asked, she said it was hers. The baby was about 6 months old making her 15 when she had it. They'd been using 2 methods of contraception but miraculoulsy both failed.

I asked how she coped, and she said the father, who's a year older, had stuck by her, and they'd been together 2 years. She said both their families supported them, and both had jobs (albeit only part time) which they worked on at different times in order to look after the baby. She was staying on at school in order to finish her GCSE's, then going to college.

It seems like the 'perfect' situation for a child to be brought up in given the circumstances. She seemed happy about everything. So, do you think this is okay? When people mention teen mothers, the stereotype most have instantly enters your mind, however this is obviously not the case here.

What are your thoughts on this, and teen pregnancy in general?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Teens should either mature later, or wear condoms. There's no excuse. Wear a condom. They're free and it's not like you don't get told about them when you're 5 years old these days.

''Oh my God I'm pregnant'' Unprotected sex will do that. Pulling out doesn't work. Ever heard of pre-cum. Your dick is like a tap, the water might not be running, but the tip is still wet.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

The situation can break into two groups. Mature for their age, and stupidity.

On one hand, there are a lot of mature teenagers out there who even when using condoms and birth control, still manage to elude the aftermath that is pregnancy. I knew someone who used both and still got pregnant. How, I have no clue.

But when you're mature, be your age 15 or 25, and you take the responsibility and don't look at the situation as a life-ending negative, then you should be fine. In today's world, people either want a Family or don't. Its not multiple choice. And those who want children, typically want to be stable before having them.

So if the case of "an accident" happens, those who wanted the child at some point still end up happy for the miracle, instead of those who end up pregnant when they didn't want children, and look at it as a curse.

On the flip side. You have a LOT of stupid teenagers in this world, that as Jake pointed out believe pulling out is just as protective, if not more so, than using a condom. Why? Because everyone knows an uncovered penis feels so much greater in a vagina than one with a rubber on it.

I've met a lot of morons in this world who think that way too. And all I can say is, you get what you deserve.. which also falls back on my beliefs that some types of abortion shouldn't be legal, because people need to pay for their actions. You can't just fucking be an idiot then think.. "Oh well, I can do it twenty more times because all I have to do is check yes on abortion and bam.. mistake cleared."

Overall, I'm fine with anyone with a child if they're going to be mature and respectful of the situation. Be the age of the Parent(s) 15 or 25. Even people in their 30's fuck up children just the same as a 14 yr. old without a brain.

 

[IrishCanadian25]

I can add some more examples. My fiancee is a 1st grade teacher in the school district where she also grew up. On the first day of school this year, she recognized the last name of one of her kids, and later that day discovered that she had graduated high school in 2001 with the mother of this first grade boy. She couldn't have been more than 17 or 18 at the time. But with the support of her parents, she worked through it.

My parents were 19 and 21 when I showed up - I turned out ok.

There is ALWAYS inherent risk with sex, especially foolishly neglecting protection. I feel very strongly that abstinence is a great way to go, though it isn't realistic. Only organized religion has screwed more up in the world than sex does (on a micro level). I always say, if you think you're mature enough to have sex, you'd damn well better be mature enough to be a parent.

Just because there are "exceptions" to the rule and mature, capable teen parents do in fact exist doesn't make teen pregnency "ok." It creates undue stress on the child, the parents, and the grandparents. It often results in an economic drain either because of the welfare system, food stamps, child care costs, etc. Sure, maybe in some cases the father of the child does stick around, but for every one that does, there is one that does not.

 

[HBK-aholic]

''Oh my God I'm pregnant'' Unprotected sex will do that. Pulling out doesn't work. Ever heard of pre-cum. Your dick is like a tap, the water might not be running, but the tip is still wet.

I'm pretty sure I debated this in the abortion thread, on the side you're on. Where someone tried to tell me the pulling out method was a good method of contraception. Made me laugh lol.

But yeah, sometimes contraception fails, that's the main problem really. I mean, yeah some people use none at all, but tbh there the only person I feel sorry for is the child. When contraception fails, I feel for both the child and the parents.

 

[HBK-aholic]

There is ALWAYS inherent risk with sex, especially foolishly neglecting protection. I feel very strongly that abstinence is a great way to go, though it isn't realistic. Only organized religion has screwed more up in the world than sex does (on a micro level). I always say, if you think you're mature enough to have sex, you'd damn well better be mature enough to be a parent.

Thsi is a really good way to think of it in principle. I mean, so many teenagers rush into sex nowadays, without actually waiting until they're ready, as well as ready for any consequences. If teenagers looked at it this way, I think it'd stop a lot of unwanted pregancies, as well as diseases which are increasing.

Abstinence is a good choice yeah, but as you said it isn't realistic. Teenagers are always going to have sex, no matter what. the government just needs to make sure they give them proper education on protection.

 

[Father:_Polley]

Well at the risk of repeating what becca's just said, I think what IC25 said sums up my views on it.

There is a prevailing view that relationships are about sex, and nothing more, and the attitude is to rush straight in without any thought to it, when the fact is that it seems when sex is involved with teenagers, all plans and consequences go out the window.
It's all too easy to get caught up in the moment, but the fact is, that if you go in with no protection at the right time, the risk of pregnancy is going to be high and pulling out is not reliable way of going about it. Ok, the risks are lower but they are still there.

As regards to failing contraception - the odds are tiny but it happens. And then it comes down to how mature the people are at dealing with it. Still, I live in an area where the amount of young teenagers pushing around kids is ridiculously high simply because people are too lazy to bother and they get extra benefits for having the kid and have no ambitions in life (yes, I'm cynical)
That being said, there are exceptions and I think if the person is ready to deal with the consequences of their actions, then it is ok to go for it.