I'm a Velociraptor...

[The 1-2-3 Killam]

My friend/current roommates 3-year-old just came over to me and out of nowhere said:

Vincent: Mike... I have a hypotnis (hypothesis)

Me: *shocked that he knows what hypothesis means* uh...ok. What is it?

Vincent: It's...that I'm a velociraptor. And that velociraptors have feathers to make them warm.

Me: Do they? Do they really?

Vincent: Yeah. And um...they have feathers to make them birds. Or sometimes elephants.

Me: *to his mom* That must have been how they survived the ice age!

Vincent: No. They died in the ice age. But then they were recarnaded as birds. But...sometimes elephants? Yeah. Sometimes elephants.

Me: SERIOUSLY kid, where are you getting these words from?

Vincent: I dunno. Just like...watching Seth (mother's boyfriend) play Skyrim?

Me: Oh. I like...

Vincent: *screams "FUS ROH DAH!" and makes hand motions like a Kamehameha blast.

Me: *shocked*

Vincent: *yelling* YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FALL OVER!​

What hilarious conversations have you had with kids?

 

[Theo Mays]

Not that funny but my nephew (one time watching TNA with me) thought I was James Storm. That was pretty cool I guess.

 

[The 1-2-3 Killam]

I thought you were James Storm up until last year, when Roode turned on yo- um...him.

It occurred to me: nobody can turn on Theo. Nobody is that heartless.

 

[Monkey_Mania]

I thought you were James Storm up until last year, when Roode turned on yo- um...him.

It occurred to me: nobody can turn on Theo. Nobody is that heartless.

I've done it numerous times. Bottom line? DTA.

That's right Theo, you punk BITCH! Someone better call yo mama! I'm coming with the beard trimmers.

 

[ABMorales787]

A couple of days ago I take my hat off and my 8 year old sister, in an attempt to annoy me tells me "you look like Lebron James. Get a haircut".

I respond deadpanned "you have no clue who he is".

Her: "Of course I do. He's a basketball player".

Me: "Who's black and has very short hair".

She lowers her head while we all laughed at her.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

My best friend is black. My 3 year old niece comes to me a couple days ago and hands me a cookie.

"Here you go Uncle Mikey"

"Thanks"

"It's good, it has chocolate in it like your friend Ryan"

 

[Silly Willy Nilly Vanilly in the Milly]

Was talking to my 3-year-old niece after church one Sunday. Her hair was looking especially long and blond, much like mine was, so I asked her...

"Can I have your hair?"

Response: "No, uncle Matt."

"Why not?"

"Because it's Jesus hair."

Having just come out of church, this was cute. But then the conversation went somewhere else.

"How did Jesus get your hair?"

"He bought it at the grocery store."

"...What?"

"He gave me 2 dollars and bought it at the grocery store, you silly goose!"

Couldn't respond after that, as I was too busy laughing.