I need a sweet-ass wallet.

Serious Jones

start wearin' purple for me now
"I knew I had McCain beat when I saw his bitch-ass pussy wallet."​
-Barack Obama, inauguration day, January 20, 2009

I have recently become a man, and I therefore need a sweet-ass wallet. Problem is, I can't find it. I've searched the Internet high and low for a sweet-ass wallet, but have come up short. I've searched for some bitchin' Pokemon, Majora's Mask, and CM Punk wallets to no avail.

That's where you, the reader come in. I implore you go find me a sweet-ass wallet so that I may order it with one of my new adult debit cards and carry it around henceforth in my pocket. The sweet-ass wallet will be a lasting and flattering extension of your character.

As for your reward, I'll cyber with you, but I'm allowed to inject whatever fetish I choose into the scenario. I'm into poo.
 
I had a velcro wallet up until last year when I got a regular bland normal person wallet. So I'm not one to go to about cool wallets. Though you can always go the the Samuel L. Jackson route in Pulp Fiction.
 
Get a real python wallet...They are awesome. Or go to a Hebrew school. I used to go to one and in 5th grade (year I stopped because there was no point in Hebrew school and regular school at the same time) they will give you the cheesiest worst looking stereotypical Jew wallet of all time.
 
Don't buy a Pokemon wallet. No matter how awesome you may be, carrying a Pokemon wallet is not what you wanna do.

Just get a fucking nice leather wallet. Looks smart, cool and professional.
 
My wallet is pretty sweet.

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You striked me as a guy with that kind of wallet for some reason. (if that really is your wallet...) Do you wear skinny jeans?
 
Serious help for Serious Jones: Just go to a department store and ask for some help picking out a nice wallet. It might set you back 30 or so dollars, but that's the price you pay for looking classy.
 

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